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I mean, my job is pretty stressful, I get bitten, sctrached and attacked on a regular basis. But I kinda learned to let it go.
I don't really get mad outside of games. Hepl I only really get mad at this store.
One of the things I was thinking was what if a certain person who is always there a trigger? A guy who annoys me and I kinda don't like him and how he is rude.

 hotsauceman1 wrote:
I mean, my job is pretty stressful, I get bitten, sctrached and attacked on a regular basis. But I kinda learned to let it go.

Ah, yeah, I worked at Wal-Mart once, too.

 hotsauceman1 wrote:
I don't really get mad outside of games. Hepl I only really get mad at this store.
One of the things I was thinking was what if a certain person who is always there a trigger? A guy who annoys me and I kinda don't like him and how he is rude.

Have you considered taking your games somewhere else and avoiding that guy, or maybe the building as a whole? Like, some kitchen table Kill-Team with a buddy?

I have, but that is where my friends are and they run the weekoy league.
I mean, I get a little mad, but I more get down on myself.

 hotsauceman1 wrote:
I have, but that is where my friends are and they run the weekoy league.
I mean, I get a little mad, but I more get down on myself.

...eh, I'd say it might be the place. I honestly can't sit in an FLGS for more than an hour playing, it's just too many people and too much BO.

I'm wondering is losing to the same people and beating the same people has cause frustration with me.

 hotsauceman1 wrote:
I mean, my job is pretty stressful, I get bitten, sctrached and attacked on a regular basis. But I kinda learned to let it go.
I don't really get mad outside of games. Hepl I only really get mad at this store.
One of the things I was thinking was what if a certain person who is always there a trigger? A guy who annoys me and I kinda don't like him and how he is rude.

There's several possibilities. Two things come to my mind:
1) Is that held up stress from your workplace is spilling into your hobby at the store. Subconsciously you might be bottling it all up and then releasing that tension and stress then, but its coming out as frustration and more aggression. You might always have done it, but at some point the tension release stopped working as well as it did, and that led to frustration which is now manifesting in anger issues.

2) It might not even be one person, it might just be lots of little things and could even include that you've changed and the game isn't as fresh/fun for you as you might think. A break could really do wonders if this is the case; giivng you a chance to recharge your hobby batteries. And sometimes getting out and meeting other people and new contacts can help you get a fresher perspective on life.

I would encourage you to consider taking a short break from hobbying and trying out something else; it doesn't have to be highly social just another activity. However you did say taking breaks earlier didn't work for you - I assumed that to mean a shorter 10 minute thing, but if you've already tried longer weeks off gaming then I'd consider that there might be other factors spilling into the hobby from the rest of your life.

I would, again, encourage you to seek some professional help. As others have said earlier, its not weakness in the least and it honestly takes a lot of strength to seek out help. A few counselling sessions might well help to set you up with the skills to tackle these issues - and yes there are skills and methods and ways of thinking and approaching and considering things. Heck sometimes just having a place to unload your stresses and strains can help a lot - sometimes a good counsellor will find ways to let you release tensions and feelings that you don't even realise that you're bottling up.

 hotsauceman1 wrote:
I'm wondering is losing to the same people and beating the same people has cause frustration with me.

Not impossible.

It happened to me a couple of times. We have a That Guy who always brings the most OP stuff to a game, no matter the size or type. We usually play fluffy or friendly games and he always wins, thanks to his list composition.
It got really frustrating losing decisively over and over no matter what (usually getting tabled at 3/4th round against his Tau) and I ultimately stopped playing with him. I still talk to him as he's a good guy, just a scumbag player.

Later we found out that he greatly misinterpreted some rules and maybe he was cheating too, but that is irrelevant now. Point is that I kept playing with people that enjoy the game the same way as I do and frustration never occured again.

 Hawky wrote:

 hotsauceman1 wrote:
I'm wondering is losing to the same people and beating the same people has cause frustration with me.

Not impossible.

It happened to me a couple of times. We have a That Guy who always brings the most OP stuff to a game, no matter the size or type. We usually play fluffy or friendly games and he always wins, thanks to his list composition.
It got really frustrating losing decisively over and over no matter what (usually getting tabled at 3/4th round against his Tau) and I ultimately stopped playing with him. I still talk to him as he's a good guy, just a scumbag player.

Later we found out that he greatly misinterpreted some rules and maybe he was cheating too, but that is irrelevant now. Point is that I kept playing with people that enjoy the game the same way as I do and frustration never occured again.

Did you consider bringing anti-his tau list as backup? Regular list vs others, custom made tailored anti-tau vs him.

 hotsauceman1 wrote:
I mean, my job is pretty stressful, I get bitten, sctrached and attacked on a regular basis. But I kinda learned to let it go.
I don't really get mad outside of games. Hepl I only really get mad at this store.
One of the things I was thinking was what if a certain person who is always there a trigger? A guy who annoys me and I kinda don't like him and how he is rude.

I think its fairly straight forward [based on what you told us], you have a stressful [and potentially dangerous] job that you try and ignore the negative aspects of [bottling it up, since you yourself say you have only kind of let go, which i think we both know means you haven't really.] then you go to local shop to play a game [ie: have fun/let off steam etc] then when its not fun your bottled up negative feelings are spilling out. Its a very common human reaction actually. Its the same reason why people tend to let their negative emotions out on close friends/family/loved ones rather than strangers, you are in a safer environment/presence and thus your subconscious that desperately wants to let go of the gak will do so when it feels more secure.

You need to handle those negative emotions, whether that be finding a nicer job, talking to someone like a friend/colleague/therapist go to the gym, or justs spend some time self reflecting and confronting those feelings properly. You may be surprised how much of a difference that can make, just letting it out you know, even on your own, and what motivations/realisations you may come to you. Realising and accepting the gak in life is the first step to not letting the gak control you and you controlling it.

Regardless, so long as you do something proactive about it, you will start feeling better. Always be moving forwards towards something good. It doesnt have to be a big thing, it can be anything you like: saving up to buy that X/Y/Z thing you want, spending a weekend away with the Mrs, seeing your family, going on holiday, achieving a weight loss goal for the week, even finish painting that squad of warhammer models.

Good luck