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“ …Unbeknownst to our lovable protagonists they are being observed in plain sight.”
a playful, sassy female voice says through a cat-like grin and helmet obscuring her face, as she continues to observe her targets from the vantage point of The Server’s rooftops…

* * * * *

Much earlier…

A ringtone blaring from a cell phone can be heard. A messy blob of pink hair and an arm with a metal bracelet start protruding from the comfort of her messy futon and fluffy sheets and begrudgingly answers the call.

“ Yo! It's like... 6am mate. Alright what's the job?”

The female sits up in her futon in her brown koala onesie PJs, and perks up as she listens to the details of her client’s call.

“Oh, so you want me to keep an eye on the runt until he figures things out, and then rendezvous at the vantage point. Alright got it.”

“~~~ ~~~”

That being said… I’ll do some observations on my own on the other partners you have on board for this … so called networking project you are doing.”

“~~~ ~~~ ~~~”

“Oh, the others are doing fine. I’ll solo this assignment as you requested. See ya soon mate!”

The pink woman hangs up the call and gets up to stretch before grooming and changing excitedly with her cat-like grin for her new assignment. She heads out with goggles, helmet, guitar case and bike. Speeding away into The Servers channels when the traffic is still low before work assignments are posted.

* * * * *

The playful pink haired woman had made a decision to best do recon in disguise in addition to using the roofs. To her it gives an up close and personal identification and experience, to get an impression of who she could be potentially working with. She calculated where the best place to swap was in order to do such observations.

The sassy pinkette shows up disguised in plain sight as a store worker using the employee entrance. An employee was running late and used she the opportunity to borrow their uniform from their locker and login into the register using their employee id and nameplate. The employees dared not say anything as the pressures of retail work were a nightmare to them as is.

Within a span of the shift she has clear eyesight on the people she had been informed she will be working with. She notices two of them pick up a tabloid with interest before leaving. She also notes one purchase of medication as well as wines and chocolates.

*Hmm, one seems rather embarrassed reading that tabloid, a friend perhaps? And that choco maniac must be Naoi.*

Once done with the intel she goes on her fifteen minute break only to take off her disguise and return the uniform she borrowed. The missing employee finally shows up for work.

Pink haired lady resumes her viewpoint back on the roofs over the channels, to keep mental notes until she gets another opportunity in person at the spanish tapas bar posing as the service staff taking their orders, considering their exquisite tastes and celebration. It seems the party does not notice her presence. Once done she goes to get some curry buns from a favorite bakery, then gets a coffee in the diner on the corner. This gives her a good view of the n00bs’ failure in person, before finally she goes to the meeting at the MPY Kuudere Detective Agency.

(By guest writer SakuraRyuji01.)

The rich boy with slick, jet black hair got up from his seat and stood in the center of the room with a confident smug look in his eyes. The lighting of the room shone on him like a spotlight, setting off his dazzling good looks. He had the kind of smile that would send his fangirls into a crazed mob if they were in the room to witness it.

He nonchalantly dusted off his fist on the torso of his black suit and shone a gleaming smile towards Moon that glowed with overwhelming confidence, while his team members seemed to be an exact contrast of Taka’s overflowing confidence and were sitting uncomfortably in varying displays of nervous behaviors. Taka continued his dramatic introduction completely oblivious of his allies’ feelings or just not caring. Either way, Taka was not going to let them ruin this opportunity to work with THEE Moon and Olympe of MPY Detective Agency.

“Who are we?”

Taka said as he produced a single red rose from his suit’s chest pocket with such grace it was like magic.

“I will start with myself....”

Taka held the rose close to his face and closed his eyes as if he was getting wisdom from the flower’s aroma as to what he should say.

“I am Takahari Fujisaka....”

With whatever sleight of hand had entered into his bizarre introduction, there was a sudden appearance of rose petals that drifted lightly into the room.

His team members gazed in awe at the random flurry of rose petals. The mentally child-like ones Chiori and Naori tried, to catch the petals from their seat on the sofa like they were kids playing with bubbles. While the more mature ones, Naoi and Masaharu gave an unamused stare at the one they saw sneak into Taka’s flowery introduction to add to it.

The pink haired girl wore a Sherlock Holmes cosplay and was hidden behind the sofa the four defective detectives were seated at. They quickly glanced behind the sofa with puzzled looks and the girl returned their confusion with a shushing gesture, so they wouldn’t give her position away. Naoi and Masaharu exchanged looks, then shrugged and resumed watching Taka’s dramatic introduction. The girl then returned to her silent stage-hand help of reaching in a basket of red rose petals she brought and silently blowing them into the room to aid in Taka’s performance.

(By guest writer SakuraRyuji01.)

Moon and Pia both had noticed the pinkette sneaking into the room to hide behind the couch. They were very surprised at her appearance in a deer-stalker hat and carrying a trug of petals, however they decided to wait and find out what she intended to do.

They understood when the performance with the showers of petals began. The girl must be another employee of Taka-san, who clearly had a very theatrical personality. They listened to his initial declamation, then the two girl detectives looked at each other. Moon wore a thin expression which clearly said that clouds of rose petals were not hard-boiled. Pia was almost smiling and frowning at the same time, her eyebrows were wiggling independently as her face struggled to express her varying emotions.

As a Brit she loved a performance. The clowning of the abridged detectives at the showers of petals seemed as good as a pantomime. She was about to call out, “She’s behind you!” when she thought who was going to have to sweep up later on. *It’ll be me because it’s always me.* That put a bit of a dampener on her mood.

They turned back to witness the rest of Taka’s display.

Taka then opened his eyes and extended his crimson rose out clearly unaware of the petals swirling around him as if he were a bishonen in a romance manga. Taka continued to speak entrapped with whatever rich boy fantasy was on his mind, keeping him from seeing the strange reality in front of him.

“The Ultimate Businessman extraordinaire!”

Taka closed his eyes and extended one hand upward as if he were reaching physically for his astronomically high goals and brought the rose he was holding close to his chest as he spun delicately in place. The rose petals the pink girl was sending made him look like some kind of floral rich boy tornado as he spoke, keeping up with his graceful twirling.

“I have since a very young age been scorned by my father for my own uselessness due to unforeseeable circumstances that nearly cost my father his career...shunned by my family… The only way for this tragic shonen to gain his life back was to study his brains out!”

Taka stopped twirling, the sudden stop sending rose petals hazardly flying about every which way. He dropped to the ground on one knee and bowed his head.

The pink hair girl didn’t lose a beat and quickly jolted up and killed the lights, then whipped out a flashlight giving the rich boy his own tragic monologue spotlight.

All of Taka’s members stared in awe at the performance except for Naoi who was quickly growing annoyed with his boss’ hamming it up. Naoi’s eye twitched as he rested his cheek on his hand and tapped his leg with the other one.

“Give me a break....”

Was the comment from the seasoned male actor who knew an over the top performance when he saw one. This critique however was not enough to stop the ever so ambitious Taka. Taka did not drop character and continued on as passionate and strong as ever, who oblivious to his new makeshift spotlight continued to give his life’s story nobody asked for. Taka slowly rose up, his eyes still closed, and arm holding the rose drooping while his other hand was laid dramatically across his face to give emphasis to his plight.

“And alas! All of this was at the tender age of only 6 years old! My childhood...robbed from me....”

The pink hair girl turned the lights back on as she saw Taka’s eyes flutter open, then in a blur returned to her spot behind the sofa throwing rose petals into the room. Taka then shot up and held one hand to his chest and the rose in the other extended out in triumph, his eyes shimmering with confidence as he gazed out at whatever bizarre goal his eyes were set on as he spoke.

“However....all that changed! No longer was I useless Taka! I had self-taught myself every book on business management in existence! And then with my father’s funds he left me...I used them all to create many, many, many business networks that became quite successful and had blossomed into brilliant and well known companies making me millions and I became known as the world’s youngest businessman! Yes all this I did at the tender age of 13! The Ultimate Businessman! The one with many business networkings and company enterprises! THAT is Takahari Fujisaka! Also known as-“

At this point Taka’s mind finally left whatever fantasy train it was riding on and finally reached its destination of reality. Finishing up his final sentence in puzzlement as he held his triumphant pose and stared in confusion at the flower petals that were fluttering about around the room.

(By guest writer SakuraRyuji01.)

“The Ultimate Rich Kid...”

Taka stopped posing and turned his attention towards the pink hair girl throwing around rose petals dressed as Sherlock Holmes, who was still behind the sofa. She was oblivious Taka had found her out and was in her own little world whispering and making audience cheering noises.

“What the heck...?”

Taka could only stare in puzzlement as he had never met this strange girl in his whole entire life. Taka scratched his head wondering if it was any fangirl he recognized or a fellow Youtube streamer. Lost in his thoughts yet again and seeming to forget his comrades existed as he tried to piece together who this strange girl was.

*Have I met her somewhere before...?*

Was the only thought Taka could arrive at. Taking advantage of his boss finally shutting up, Naoi decided to do his intro. Naoi slowly rose from his seat from the sofa, hands in his black trench coat pockets. Though he was a famous horror and mystery actor and played in many, many, roles...he still could not deny the fact he was socially awkward. This showed in Naoi’s introduction as he kept his head down so he could hide behind his emo bangs that hung over the right side of his face like curtains hiding him from the world.

“I...I’m N-Naoi...Naoi...S...”

Naoi stopped himself as he thought about his circumstances.

*Wait...Taka...as much as he is into himself...he didn’t give his “true” identity...do I take heed of this and not give my full identity as well? Is this the best choice of action Taka-kun...? Hiding our real identities from real detectives to protect them from possible future threats...?*

While Naoi wondered about an internal crisis regarding his boss’s choice in actions, his boss wondered why nobody noticed the elephant in the room. The spiky pink haired elephant to be exact.

Taka sweatdropped and pointed as he stared at the girl posing as a crouching Sherlock Holmes behind the couch his other team members were seated at.

“Am I the only one here who finds this girl strange!?”

Naori, Chiori, and Masaharu stared at her then looked at Taka, shaking their heads to keep from having to get involved.

While Naoi continued to obliviously question himself in a loop on Taka’s actions of not giving the whole truth and if he should do the same. Naoi may be a detective, but he was lacking in the judgement department.

The pink hair girl did a dramatic summersault and pulled out a magnifying glass as the rose petals fell out of her basket from the wind of her tumbling movement, and then crouched with her magnifying glass in one hand as if she were inspecting the roses.

(By guest writer SakuraRyuji01.)

“Who am I? Who...am...I? I am the great “Romance Detective!” I came here because I sensed and was drawn to...true love...”

Taka crossed his arms and stared down at this pink haired intruder.

“A detective of love...? Alright! Enough games! Who sent you and why are you following us!?”

The pink hair girl did another dramatic summersault and rolled behind the office curtains and stood up behind them.

“You don’t know much about love do you kid? Don’t you know it’s Cupid who sends messengers of love? C’mon. Everybody knows that...Or maybe it’s Cupid that is the messenger of love? Or that could just be a rumor...”

Was the cheeky reply of the strange pink hair Sherlock wannabe intruder.

Taka was not amused. He was not going to settle for some random stalker ruining his chances at getting good with the famed MPY Detective Agency and lose this opportunity to get his gang of idiots trained by veteran detectives, training which they needed...badly.

“I demand you tell me who sent you!”

The pink hair girl walked over to a brick fireplace with her magnifying glass and pretended to examine it.

“Who sent me? Love sent me, kid...For I am the legendary Romance Detective. Where the wind blows...love goes...I will be there...”

Taka was getting impatient and tapped his foot on the floor trying hard to handle the issue in a dignified manner in case this was some kind of trial placed by the MPY to test them.

“I don’t think anyone sent you...if anything you escaped from a mental ward! Hey Pinky! I think the asylum called and said they want their love-delusional-pink-hair-hedgehog back!”

Taka smirked at his creative troll as he anticipated with great vigor what her reply back would be. If this strange girl was part of a test, Taka was eager for it. For he loved challenges, and challenging opponents more. He lived for the thrill of battling wits with equal intellectuals such as himself. However...no amount of businessman self-tutoring and studying could prepare him for the roasting he was about to recieve.

The girl Taka accused of being insane, slowly turned around and creeped past Taka taking her magnifying glass to Masaharu’s hair as Masahru stared blankly across at the MPY detectives observing thier reactions.

Taka tried hard to hide his surprise at how close this strange girl was getting to his partner. His blushing face and flabbergasted words rejecting all of his attempts at seeming calm.

“Wh-what the heck are you doing so close to M-Masaharu! G-get away from him!”

Taka didn’t know what to do. He could only blush, sweatdrop and flail in place as his tsundere personality made it difficult for him to know how to function in such situations. Do I go over there and yank her away and let the others see I care? Or do I play it cool and act like I don’t while this looney tune has her way with him? These two conflicting thoughts kept Taka in a flailing loop one would describe as “Erroroes Not Compute!” Indeed if Taka were a computer, his hard drive would have crashed right then he was so conflicted and confused.

“Two of you take romantic walks on a garden patio...”

Taka stared at her in surprise.

“Eh!?”

“Masaharu is a boy but likes wearing dresses. I’m sure you buy him a lot. A flashy guy like you has a lot of bling to throw around right? Masaharu is dressed like a NEET for work...but I bet when the lights are out and the curtains close it’s wine by the candlelight in some fancy nightgown to highlight his porcelain doll features and his pale white skin tone under a moonlight night...am I right?”

Taka blushed, and his eyes swirled in embarrassment as he recalled his actual dates she rattled off with perfect accuracy as if she had been there.

“EH!?! EH!? EH!?”

Taka was so embarrassed words would not come out of his mouth.

Naori tried to show some mercy and stifle a laugh. Chiori however did not and like the troll she was, cackled into her long black sleeves like a loli hyena. Naoi was still stuck in a loop of questioning himself, and Masaharu in question simply sipped the tea Olympe offered him, not caring his love life was getting exposed for all to see. The pink hair girl continued, her magnifying glass still positioned over Masaharu’s head as if it gave her all the details of his life. Like some kind of shiny silver haired crystal ball.

“Betcha it’s them dresses with the long flowing sleeves isn’t it? And has to be white right? To highlight his moe and angelic features. And his room is covered in flowers. To match your ideal of he is like a butterfly motif...is that your tsundere way of maybe saying...I...love...you? :heart:”

“S-stop it already!”

The pink hair love detective turned and looked at the blushing mess that had become of Taka Fujisaka.

“Alright then...”

She said standing back up and moving to examine the chair Taka had been sitting at earlier.

“I was getting bored of him anyways...Your love life looks MUCH more interesting...”

An exclamation point appeared above Taka’s head.

“MY love life!? B-but we are the same couple! How are our love lives any different!?”

The pink hair girl smirked without turning to look at Taka, already assured of her victory.

“Hook line and sinker...”

Taka’s face turned completely red as he realized what he just said out loud.

“Eep! P-pretend you didn’t hear that!”

His friends were trolls and were not going to let this slide. Chiori gave a smug look as she chuckled and Naori was laughing so hard he was clutching his stomach. Naoi however was still defective and his brain stuck in a loop on what to do for his intro from earlier. Masaharu smirked, curious as to how this pink haired tyrant would embarrass the usually calm and stoic rich boy.

“Oooo...so is that a confession?”

Taka was not going to stand to be humiliated like this and stood his ground. He decided to flip the conversation back at the strange stalker.

“As accurate as your weird romance delusions are...I don’t believe for a second your real name is “Romance Detective”! So out with it! Who are you really!?”

“Hmm...hmm...Can’t tell ya that mate.”

“Huh? Why not!?”

“Top secret info! Between me and my writer only! 4th wall confidentiality! I can’t intro myself here just yet because it isn’t the right episode! Ya get me?”

Taka’s eyes spiraled into confusion once more as he swayed back and forth like a tree trapped in a storm of confusion that might fall over at any moment.

“Ehhhhhhhhhh...”

Naori smiled.

“Oh yeah! I totally hear ya! I gotta deal with them 4th wall morals too! Those rules and boundaries can be such a pain!”

Taka regained composure and stopped swaying as he listened to Naori’s nonsense.

“Eh!? You understand her!?”

The pink haired girl smiled as she moved over to investigate a window sill in the room.

“At least someone here gets me. So for right now in this episode I will be known as the “Romance Detective”! Comprende?”

Taka’s team members nodded not bothering to question any of the insanity and just accepted it.

“Comprende.” They said in unison.

“Yep so just act like I’m not even here and resume your intros. Starting with your ally over there. I think his train of thought got stuck on the train tracks...”

She said as she gestured her magnifying glass over her back towards Naoi, not bothering to turn away from the window sill.

Taka sighed in defeat.

“So we are all just going to ignore her...?”

Taka’s team members patiently stared at Naoi waiting for his response and didn’t give any acknowledgement of Taka’s existence or question. Not even troubling themselves to give any thought about the pink haired elephant in the corner of the room.

Taka threw his arms up in annoyance at how lazy his allies were.

“Okay! So I guess we ARE doing this!”

Taka flopped back into his chair and crossed his arms as he also waited for Naoi to eventually reach a solution.

(By guest writer SakuraRyuji01.)

Naoi finally after a ridiculous and probably extremely unnecessary amount of thought came to the conclusion that less is more, and left out his last name in his introduction.

“H-hello... I’m Naoi. I’m a horror and mystery enthusiast who is also a part-time modeler and actor. I only specialize in horror and because of this... I’m really socially awkward and difficult to talk to despite my absurd social status. I like making mock crime scenes out of LEGOs for a hobby. I also love creepypastas, and horror and mystery video games. I used to be a detective... but due to unforeseen circumstances of dealing with a dangerous stalker... I had to drop it and become an overseas actor. I originally studied acting abroad simply to get away from her... but my teachers were all so impressed with what I could do they made me become a real one and well... here I am... stuck between balancing my real job as a detective... aaaand... also my part-time acting and modeling career my good looks and charm has seemed to curse me with... Oh yeah... and I’m formerly known as the ‘Ultimate Detective’... but recently known as ‘The Ultimate Actor... ’”

Naoi finished saying the last parts about his Ultimate talent like they were an afterthought. Naoi trembled a bit as he sat back down. Shaken up about having to talk about what he loves in front of people. Naori applauded for him while Chiori smiled warmly and stroked his hair like he was a scared kitten. Masaharu, not knowing how to socialize, systematically joined in Naori’s small applause. Taka simply yawned. Not really caring to give his ally support.

Taka wasn’t selfish per se... He was only like this due to his family’s upbringing. He was raised in a family where love was not present and you only gained attention if you reaped successful results. Taka himself was ignored for his flaws, so he himself ignored his allies’ times of need thinking that was the norm. That flaws were to be ignored, in hopes the flawed will see this and strive to become perfect to gain the attention they yearned for and only then deserved.

Naori decided since everyone else was standing up for theirs, he might as well do the same. Naori stood in the center of the room where the others had stood before, and bashfully smiled, rubbing the back of his head.

“Ah um about me? Well where do I begin? Like first of all... I don’t have any memory of my childhood. Like totally weird right? As far as I remember everything is these guys and doing adventures with them. But what’s REALLY weird is that I have no memory of my life before meeting Taka and the others... yet I like totally remember the apartment I live at... ”

Naori crossed his arms looking up at the ceiling as he tried to recall his own bizzare existence.

“Like no memory of who my Mom and Dad are. No siblings... nothing... ”

Naori’s eyes lit up as he gazed over at the group and continued his intro.

“All I know is I really like aliens and video games! And I can break the 4th wall! ... Whatever that is!”

Naori pounded his fist into his open palm as a light bulb flashed into his head recovering his other talents.

“Oh and I can defy the laws of physics too! Why is that... ? It’s simple! It’s because I’m the “Ultimate Abridged”! Yep! I’m as abnormal as they come!”

Naori said cheerfully as he sat back down on the couch to rejoin his group.

(By guest writer SakuraRyuji01.)

Chiori looked at her comrades’ expectant eyes and was too shy to get up and introduce herself, so she did her intro from the couch sandwiched in between the safety of her friends as she fiddled with her black hoodie’s long sleeves drooping over her hands.

“Um... I’m Chiori... Chiori... The Ultimate Protagonist... It’s a dumb talent I know... But I didn’t choose it... Anyways... I too don’t know much about my own past. I don’t even know what my own last name is. All I know is I like sleeping, video games, spiders and anime... ”

Chiori looked ahead, her eyes sparkling, as she gazed at the MPY Detectives seated across from her who were silently listening.

“Oh and I also love solving mysteries! That’s why I’m here! I love solving puzzles and mysteries! I’m also really good at it too!”

Chiori then sweatdropped and blushed as she rubbed the back of her head with one of her sleeve drooped hands.

“... Um that’s like one of the only things I’m good at... I’m kind of a failure at life and everything else. I’m also really good at baking cookies though!”

Her comrades looked at her intently trying to signal something to her.

“Oh yeah... my talent of Ultimate Protagonist... it’s hard to say if it even is one... as that’s the title Naoi’s weird stalker gave me for lolz... but here’s the thing... that stalker hacked into so many internet databases... that it kind of became official. How? I don’t know. As dumb and as weird as it sounds, I’m just glad I have a talent...”

Naori looked over to Masaharu, leaned over from his position in the four friend sandwich seated on the sofa and smiled at him.

“Looks like you're up next NEET!”

(By guest writer SakuraRyuji01.)

Masaharu looked up from his half empty cup of tea Olympe had given him earlier.

“So I am... ”

He murmured, with no change in his expression. Masaharu got up from the couch and stood in the center of the room where everyone else had been giving their intros. He then twirled his bangs that draped across his eye, around his finger as he often did when deep in thought and speaking. Why did Masaharu do this? Nobody could answer that but Masaharu. Masaharu had a strange mindset due to his past circumstances and thought like a computer. One could say his twirling his hair around his finger represented the loading of a computer screen as it pulled up data. If this was the truth nobody could tell you. Not even Masaharu himself could understand his own strange quirks that became of his new persona due to his tragic past.

“I am... the Ultimate Hacker... I and Taka used to work for a criminal organization years ago... ”

However one of these quirks was much like a computer, he could not tell a lie. Much to the dismay of Taka who tried to hide his past criminal background behind speaking about his successes and childhood only as well as leaving out his real last name. The family name that ruined his life to begin with. Despite the fact Masaharu could not lie, he, despite being as socially inept as he was... could still pick up on social cues. Probably due to his computer like mentality constantly assessing and analyzing his situations like he was one.

Masaharu noticed everyone’s gaping mouths and subtly retracted his statement.
“Like I said... years ago. I and Taka have both been safely rehabilitated... from our past as terrorists... that we were brainwashed into by Naoi’s stalker... I used to use my computer hacking for evil deeds... Not anymore... I have learned to overcome such acts and have become a master game designer... One could say “Ultimate Game Designer”... as that is what is written all across message boards on social media... So I guess that is my ultimate talent... ? Despite this being my “Ultimate Talent”... I have many other talents I learned from the terrorist organization and managed to keep... I have learned to build weapons... robots... computers... vehicles such as tanks... etc... so if you need a plane or something built... I’m your guy. I can also do military martial arts due to that cult forcing us... by us... I mean me and Taka... into military training... So if you want a throw-down... I can totally take you on... anyways... As for how we all met... ? Well we were all kidnapped by Naoi’s stalker who was the leader of the terrorist organization. Only Taka and I were brainwashed, though. Naoi’s stalker had a thing for Naoi. So she left him alone.”

Naoi sweated and shifted on the sofa uncomfortably as he heard the mention of his stalker.

“And Chiori is an airhead... so Naoi’s stalker only messed with her for lulz. Didn’t want to ruin her fun by brainwashing the airhead... ”

Chiori could only sweatdrop and hang her head, for she knew despite her uncanny ability at solving mysteries and puzzles... she knew deep down she was still an airhead.

“As for Naori... He’s hopelessly optimistic... so much so... he had to be abducted to keep from thwarting the stalker’s terrorism efforts... his abridged powers were that threatening to her... simple as that... as for how this tangled mess of friends all came to know each other despite our bizarre circumstances? Well let’s just say after Taka and I were rehabilitated by Naoi’s stalker... she found out and got mad... and made a us play a “little game,” a game you don’t ever want to play... you could call it a “game of life”... ”

Masaharu paused for a moment, trying to find what else to say then resumed twirling his hair as he continued.

“Oh yeah... I still hack. But I only do it for inaccessible information that won’t affect legalities... for example... ”

Masaharu stared Moon straight in the eyes as he spoke. Showing no fear, nor cockiness. Just a blank dead stare that held no emotion at all. He spoke with the manner of a robot. Given his small stature and feminine yet childish looks, one could have even mistaken him for a doll that had suddenly been brought to life and was learning to speak for the first time. That was just how lifeless he sounded. A human computer simply sharing data.

“To find those idiots Naori and Naoi... I hacked into the Server’s security bots to find the whereabouts of these two... so if you find an encrypted forced entry in them... that would be me... do what you want with that... ”

Taka sweatdropped and facepalmed at Masaharu’s smug and reckless behavior. How could he just mindlessly spill out their criminal activity in front of a bunch of detectives like that!? Let alone leak their true identities...

That idiot!

“Also... Naoi left out he likes mysteries way too much and will drool and blush like a deranged psycho at the mere mention of them... ”

Naoi blushed, sweatdropped and bit his lip as he tucked his knees up and curled into a ball of embarrassment on the couch. In hopes of sinking in and disappearing into the couch.

“Taka is also a freak that suffers from impulsive behavior and will do crazy stuff like go sky-diving on a whim... his secret is he’s insane and not as clean-cut as he seems... ”

It was Taka’s turn to be embarrassed.

“MASAHARUUUUU!!!”

Taka said blushing and hiding his face into a couch pillow.

“And last but not least... Chiori is lazy. She acts like she’s a hard worker... but really she’s just lazy and likes to sleep a lot.”

Chiori could care less as she felt she had nothing to hide. She simply shrugged her shoulders, went “Meh” and resumed her nap on the couch’s arm.

“I rest my case... ”

Naori waved his hand around wildly.

“Ooooo! Ooo! Do me next! Say something humiliating about me next! I want to be roasted too!”

“... and Naori is... Naori is... ”

Masaharu’s mind seemed to be stuck in “search mode” unable to browse his mental file directory for trolling material on Naori.

“Naori is... just Naori... he has no secrets. He’s the kind of guy that will wear his heart on his sleeve and be proud of it... ”

Naori drooped his head in disappointment.

“Awww... ”

Masaharu sighed taking note of Naori’s low mood and quickly blurted out the first thing that scrolled across his mind.

“And Naori believes he might be an alien and thinks that’s why he has no memory of who his parents are... he thinks he’s secretly an alien... ”

Naori smiled satisfied at his roast. “Yep! Yep! Yep! Totally on point! Which is why I’m looking for this Princess Chippy’s mothership! To find my true mother! Maybe she might know something!”

Masaharu pointed to some chocolate donuts on a table next to Moon, with a blank look on his face.

“I exposed all my friend’s secrets so you don’t have to... As payment I want all your donuts... and I can expose more secrets if you have more chocolate things laying around... I’m a hacker that works for chocolate... ”

Masaharu said matter of factly as he reached over and grabbed the bag of chocolates Naoi bought earlier.

Taka could only facepalm and sweatdrop at Masaharu’s selfish behavior.

“This is going to be a looooong day... ”

(By guest writer SakuraRyuji01.)

“ I guess I am up next.”

Still dressed in her sherlock inspired costume and magnifying glass she briefly examines moonie and her accompanying party.

“Pardon the mystique but I heard a little birdy tell me some interesting things. one of the things involves the princess cornchip correct.”

“ Now onto my introduction and the other formalities blah blah blah... ”

The pink haired woman set up her grand introduction in the office with her own props seeming to pop out of nowhere while she jumped to touch and cling onto the office ceiling. Her disguise was flinged off in different directions.

The coat was chucked into Naori’s arms and the hat perfectly on chori’s head; the magnifying glass landing in Moonie’s hands. The display was set up as if she was entertaining a crowd at a concert. the lights briefly turned off to accommodate the flashy display.

“ Yo! I am the Love Detective, the Vespa Woman, the Rockin Pink Terror, The Former 1st Class Space Patrol Officer!... ”

The energetic pink haired woman dove from the ceiling into a power slide onto the prop stage she set up holding a blue sapphire guitar and plays a note at full force.

“ The 19 year old heartbreaking action hero... Haruko!”

Haruko bows before the shocked and confused party in the office before grabbing her guitar and jumping off her stage prop, The stage disappearing as quickly as it came.

“Oh good looks like I aced my entrance. managed to keep collateral damage to a zero this time.” She says with a flirty wink of her unusual yellow eyes.


“ Yo mates! Haruko is my name. Adventure is my game! I am here to provide my services courtesy of my employer. Heard you got yourselves a real dosey of a situation. My skills besides entertainment of course, are in logistics, engineering, and if needed demolition aye!”

“If things were to go south for you mates, I am to provide the muscle or leverage ya need.”

“ The initial interest is that project some of you are working on. Someone needed help with ship building, romantic or otherwise.” she says with a cat-like grin.

“ From my mates, they wish you well and hope you succeed in this endeavor.”

Haruko is a pink hair and yellow eyed young woman adorned with an unusual bracelet and several ear piercings wearing in a red jacket with jean shorts with black tights, black knitted turtleneck with a pair boots, goggles and a slick blue sapphire guitar to finish off her look.

Haruko takes out something from her jacket pocket and puts the item on the office table. it appears to be an old badge.

“ There's your confirmation. its an old memento of mine.”

The metal badge had an emblem which neither Olympe nor Moon could recognise. It looked like a misshapen letter F. On the reverse face was written: Space Investigator / Space Police Brotherhood in English.

“finding ya mates didn't take too long. if all else failed the bracelet would had jingled in the right direction”

“ Oh and my boss sends their thanks in advance. They would be all on my case if I didn't bring the gifts and good business manners blah... ”

Haruko pulls the gifts that hid behind the couch.

In the cute strawberry shaped and themed strawberry box contained a set of a dozen japanese strawberries dipped and decorated in smooth chocolate, which Haruko put into Masa’s hands.

The other gift was a gift basket. it appears to be an ice bucket with a set of red and white wines from Italy and various fresh fruits. She puts the basket into Olympe’s arms.

“Now that’s that. Go on, It's your turn.”

(By guest writer SakuraRyuji01)

Pia was on the edge of her seat watching the dramatic twists and turns as first one then another of Takahari’s party presented themselves in the oddest ways, flubbing lines, dropping indiscretions about each other and in general behaving like a bunch of silly teenagers.

*Which is exactly what they are, however Abridged or Ultimate they might be in their weird specialisms. It’s going to be hard work training these members. They need to get some social intelligence so they can work as a team. Yancey did a correspondence course in that. Maybe his coursebooks and notes are still around somewhere.*

She could not stop herself sniggering at their antics, and had to pretend it was a fit of coughs. She face-palmed until the giggles went away, then turned to Moon. The stern detective also was in difficulty maintaining a kuudere exterior. She swept a tumbler off the coffee table, swigged rye quickly, gasped, and tonked the glass back down. The staccato sound broke through the Japanese party’s muttering recriminations and they sat still, waiting to see what would happen next.

“Thank you for your introductions... ” began Moon but suddenly the pink-haired girl zoomed back into action with an extended second introduction of herself. Her athletic performance was rounded off with the presentation of an official looking badge and gifts, including wine for Olympe.

“Thank you for this wine, Haruko-san. I am sorry that I have nothing in return, as I did not expect you tonight. If you want to meet the Princess Onecornchippy I can arrange it. Actually, where are you from? I did not recognise your police badge.”

Olympe had been into deep space with the Princess; they had travelled on a naval starship with diplomatic credentials, and never encountered any space police. But Haruko might be from an entirely different empire or time period anyway.

Moon broke in, “Pia, let’s cover that later cause it’ll be complicated. We need to bring in the others, and figure out what to do with these new recruits tonight.” She tapped out a message on her phone and there were some noises from the outer office. The door swung open to admit the other two kuudere detectives, Chanmi and Janjan, who had been cooling their heels in the corridor out front.

Janjan was wearing a fairly conservative outfit, khaki chinos and a pale blue shirt with the collar undone, and a navy blue blazer on top. He had hung his snap-brim on the hatstand. He was chewing on a match, which he took from his mouth to introduce himself.

“I’m Janjan, associate detective. Ms Moon recruited me to help in the Case of the Halloween Hauntings and Yancey promoted me at the start of the Case of the Call of Cthulhu. I’m the driver.”
.
Next up was Chanmi, the girl in a black armour jacket with TSPD on the front and OFFICIAL on the back who had been in the corner diner but the Abridged Detectives never noticed her, because they were too excited with their new SPS wristband. She was still wearing her red beret and mirrorshades.

“I’m Chanmi. Yancey recruited me as a cyberpunk sidekick after he saw how well Moon and Janjan worked together. I do stuff with computers, so maybe I’ll partner you, Masaharu, especially as I like chocolate too. But first I gotta tell you off. I had a message from TOWST -- she pronounced the acronym “toast” -- He, she or it is a bit pissed off with you for monkeying around with the security bots and stuff. But since you did it to save your friends from the mob, I guess we can overlook it this time. Just don’t do it again. You don’t want to get any of the Mods mad at you.”

“No!” said Pia. “That’s part of why you’re n00bs and need to be trained. You don’t know lots of things that are important.” She checked her wristwatch. “But it’s getting too late to start this evening. Mr Fujisaka, you need to take your four juniors and get them some food and rest. There are several good hotels in the Dream Disco channel, I recomend the Rialto. Everyone needs a good smartphone. Buy one if you haven’t got one already, and bring it tomorrow. Training will start here in the main office at 9 o’clock. Haruko-san, you stick around, we’ll figure out something else for you.”

Moon ranked up all the glasses on the table, and began to pour rye whisky into them, not very much for each of the youngsters.

“Okay, you mooks,” she told the Japanese members. “Anyone who wants to be in our agency, get trained, and help the project, you’ve gotta start off right. That means we drink together to seal our bargain. So grab yourself a finger of rye.”

The four kuudere detectives stood, took their glasses and waited for the newcomers to join in the toast.

Naoi and Taka tried to hide their eagerness as they took the glasses of rye. Though they were underaged, they loved to drink wine.

Due to Naoi’s delinquent fellow child actors that snuck in booze into their acting studios, and getting him hooked on wine in the first place. Unlike Taka, he just simply loved the taste.

Taka however was a different story. Thanks to his difficult life, he had difficulties coping with what life threw at him. When his parents were away on business trips, he’d break into his Father’s expensive wine stashes. He had so many none would be missed or accounted for. So his Father wouldn’t miss one or two bottles. These frequent wine stash thefts are what made Taka into a wine connoisseur of sorts. He loved to try expensive and fancy wine whenever he could. This sadly made him something of an addict. While he wasn’t addicted per se, unlike Naoi he could not fight the temptations of any wine that sat in front of him.

Despite both boys being underaged, they had hardy bodies and could take the toll of the affects of the alcohol without feeling any of its side effects. The two could down 5 wine bottles on their own and be just fine. But they couldn’t tell these detectives that. This secret lifestyle made what should have been an easy task, the ultimate challenge for the high school ultimates.

Taka stared intently at his own glass of rye.

Ah! Wine! I love wine!!!

A drop of sweat dripped down Taka’s face.

N-no!

He closed his eyes.

I-I have to remain calm! I-I can’t let these professional world-renowned detectives know I’m an underaged drinker! Ah! What will they think of me!? Will they even take my request to train these idiots seriously if they found out their leader was an underaged borderline alcoholic!?

Another drop of sweat dripped down his face and he gulped.

Crap! This is bad! This is very bad!!! If I get a taste of that wine and like it too much....my true colors will show for sure!!! Is this all a test!? Have they researched into me and KNEW I was a wine-o!? Do I say no!? What if I say no and they are serious and it botches the deal!? What if I say yes and fall into their trap!? Crap! Crap! Crap!

Taka felt his legs begin to tremble and reached down to calm them, in the guise of straightening his pant leg.

I-I know! I-‘ll pretend to need to use the restroom and think through it there where they won’t be able to see my facial expressions! It’s brilliant!

Taka sat up and glanced at Naoi to see what his intentions were, as Naoi himself suffered from a similar dilemma being a fellow wine-o.

Naoi’s pretty shy despite how he always looks so calm and stoic.....he probably has the same idea..... Unbeknownst to Taka....Naoi did not have the same idea. He couldn’t have been more wrong, running away was the last thing on Naoi’s mind.....

Naoi cupped his chin in his hand as he began to think about the bizarre ultimatum.

Hm.....I do like wine....but if I take it too well....will they suspect me of being an underage drinker? I suppose if I just acted out a character I played in the past that couldn’t drink....I could fake not being a wine-o......however these are PROFESSIONAL detectives, unlike us. For all we know they could have dug into both my and Taka’s background and found all that out by themselves....This could even be a trial to test out our honesty under difficult circumstances....

Naoi lifted his hand from his chin then reached down and took the glass of rye as Taka let out a quiet gasp of surprise, as he stared at Naoi in silent disbelief.

What!? He-he’s actually going through with it!? He’s going to chance his identity of a wine-o being found out just like that!? Naoi! What are you thinking!?

Naoi himself wasn’t even sure of what he was thinking. All he knew was the situation only had one answer. And that was to drink the rye regardless of the consequences. Unlike Taka, Naoi had a lot more at stake. If Taka got found out he was an underage drinker, nobody would bat an eye. He was rich. Most rich kids were known for doing whatever the heck they wanted and Taka had so much money, he could even pay to have the repercussions of his wine-o habits swept under the rug and start a clean slate.

Naoi on the other hand wasn’t so fortunate. He was a big name in many horror and mystery movies, as well as even a fashion model at times. If word got out to his agent he was an underage drinker, he could lose his whole career. Sure Naoi didn’t want the acting gig to begin with. He rather had stayed a detective, but what difference would it make if he did stay a detective and the secret got out? He was only 17 years old. Not even an adult. As talented as he was, it was difficult for him to be taken seriously as a detective, since he was so young. The last thing he needed was booze added to that roster of reasons to not take him seriously. That would just make getting clients more difficult than it already was.

However....regardless of the outcome, there was no other choice. He needed this training and to him, this was two sides of the same coin.

I either take the rye and get found out and lose my career as a detective....or I don’t take it and lose out on the training I need and lose the detective agency anyways.....

Naoi took the glass of rye placed in front of him and looked down at it.

.....I don’t really have much of a choice.

Sitting next to Naori was Chiori. Unlike the other two with a lot of drama in their lives, Chiori only had one thought on her mind.

.....I really don’t want to drink the rye....what if it tastes bad?

Saying “she only had one thought in her mind” might be a bit of an understatement....

Maybe I can try that one trick I saw in the movies and pretend to drink it....Naoi’s a movie star! I bet he knows how to do it!

Detective Moon raised an eyebrow as she looked at Chiori’s oddly elated expression.

Crap! No! I can’t ask! She’ll see me ask Naoi how to cheat! Ugh.....what do I dooooo? I really don’t wanna drink this thiiiiiing....

Chiori gently shook the glass of rye around as she looked around at her companions.

They all look so serious....it’s like they are debating over signing a blood contract or something....I wonder what is going through all their heads?

Masaharu gingerly shook his rye around, watching the ice cubes gently clink against the glass, as he sorted through his thoughts.

While it’s true Haruko did pinpoint most of his love life and was accurate with what she saw.....not all of it was accurate. As he could not stomach wine and did not like the idea of alcohol. He did not want to see what it would taste like as he only liked sweet things. On the moonlit night Taka and Masa shared, though Masa’s glass was filled with the same colored crimson liquid as Taka....it wasn’t wine at all, his was actually filled with juice. A fact that only someone who was there would know....

Masa shook his glass once more as he reached this strange conclusion that had just dawned on him.

Still....how did she know that.....?

He stared over at Haruko with a mix of suspicion and intrigue.

He knew that since his and Taka’s kidnapping a few years ago, Taka had upped his already intense mansion’s security significantly. Taka himself had told him upon Masaharu’s moving into the mansion, that Taka had hired a massive militia of bodyguard units all armed with heavy artillery all posted around the outside of the mansion for their protection to ensure that they would never have to relive that nightmare ever again.

He was curious about how this pink hair delinquent managed to bypass such intense security detail and break into their mansion, as well as her motive for going through all that trouble just to spy on their date. However he knew discussing such illegal matters such as breaking-and-entering in front of the detectives was not a wise move. He pushed the troubling curiosity to the back of his mind and decided to troll Chanmi to get his focus back onto the present situation.

“You don't have to worry about me hacking the security bots again....I’ve played Tetris games with more walls of security than those things....”

Taka stared at Masaharu, panic in his eyes and settling in his voice as he worried over his trollish friend ruining their first impressions in front of such hardened detectives.

“Masaharu!!!”

Naoi slumped back on the couch and tucked his legs up trying to disappear as he nervously pulled at his emo bangs and grimaced embracing for the worst. The usually relaxed and lazy Chiori was also prepared for a lecture and gritted her teeth. A bead of sweat trickled down her face as she nervously flipped out the side of her long hair over and over again.

Taka facepalmed, trying to hide his embarrassment at Masaharu’s folly and searching for words on anything that could make the situation somehow miraculously less awkward.

To Taka’s relief, the MPY detectives didn’t get as agitated as he thought they would at them for being so disrespectful. A few of them simply raised their eyebrows while others tried to stifle their giggles. Before Taka could apologize on their behalf, Naori took the floor.

Going heavily into manga territory I see...

It's always been manga/anime influenced.

“I noticed you guys are trying to not laugh at us! And were also trying to stifle a few giggles during our intros as well,” Naori said, grinning.

“It's okay! We like the laughs! Life’s too short to be so serious all the time so we try to make people laugh when we can.”

Naori’s carefree smile diminished as his words took on a more stern and softer tone.

“Taka on the other hand....he tries way too hard to be perfect and knows he’s not, so he deludes himself with hammy performances. For example, like that weird bishonen prince rose thing he did. He does things like that to hide his own crippling inferiority complex not only from others but himself as well.”

Chiori and Naoi glanced curiously up at Naori from where they were seated as they listened to his speech.
Taka on the other hand wasn’t so thrilled about his secrets being leaked and facepalmed again trying to hide his embarrassment. He was so shocked and embarrassed that Naori just exploited him in front of everyone, he could not find the words to speak. The usually talkative Taka could only stare in awkward silence at the subtle roasting Naori was dishing out.

H-hammy performance....? Weird bishonen thing!? CRIPPLING INFERIORITY COMPLEX!?

At this point the tsundere was so flustered, he could only scream internally.

Naori paused his speech and looked around the room at everyone, then resumed. His eyes settling on Naoi for a few moments then back at the group as a whole.

“But that’s besides the point! Naoi here is a celebrity, yet has a crippling fear of talking in front of large groups of people. He even is so socially awkward, he can only talk about creepy horror stuff that would make any one turn tail and run.”

Naoi pulled at his bangs nervously as he waited for Naori to reach his point and hoped that wouldn’t include embarrassing him more, but instead Naori had moved onto the next person’s flaws.

“Then there’s Chiori. She acts like a happy-go-lucky dipstick.....but really she is actually hurting and tries to make others happy to hide how dead she is inside.”

Chiori slowly pulled at the ends of her hair in shock.

Th-these people I just met know I’m a trainwreck and not as carefree as I act....oh crap! Oh crap! Oh craaaaap!

Naori’s eyes finally settled on the one that made him start this long speech.

“Then there’s Masaharu.....he says stuff recklessly like insulting the security bot, cuz the guy really is like a computer. He has no filter. He’s like a robot trying to learn to fit into human society. So cut him some slack okay?”

Even the calm and stoic Masaharu was a little rattled by Naori’s exploitation. He gritted his teeth and looked away to the side and pulled at his bangs nervously.

Satisfied his speech seemed to have got the results he wanted, Naori went in for the final blow.

“Then there’s me. An absolute hypocrite who talks about how okay it is to have flaws, though it’s my own flaws in the lacking in sense department that brought up this big ol’ speech in the first place. What’s my point? My point is all humans are flawed and make mistakes. You are just going to have to forgive them. Forgive them for being themselves.”

Naori triumphantly raised his glass of rye and smiled confidently.

“That being said.....”

Naori dramatically lowered the glass down as he let it touch the table without shattering it or spilling any of the rye inside as he said his final part of his speech.

“I’m not drinking this!”

The defective detectives gasped in shock at his reckless defiance. Naori then put a hand on his hip and pointed at the MPY detectives to prove a point.

“The job of a detective is to uncover the truth.....and to do that on a detective team such as this, you have to be willing to speak the truth and not hold back any punches or like withheld evidence from each other right?”

Naori closed his eyes and placed both hands on his hips, then his hands still on his hips he resumed the rest of his speech. Looking like some kind of abridged superman delivering a moral lesson in a 1940s after-school special.

“And to do that right, I think we should be able to speak up for what we believe in. I don’t like booze and I don’t like what it does to people and don’t want to drink even a sip. I have a strict no-booze drinking policy. So this is me standing up for what I believe in and speaking out the truth in how I feel!”

Naori’s finger wag of abridged justice had returned for the next part of his speech.

“I believe that is what being a detective is all about! Truth seeking, no holds barred!”

Naori crossed his arms then stared down confidently at the MPY detectives as he reached the next ludicrous point of his speech.

“A detective is defined by what they believe in and if to accept this training we HAVE to take rye to be accepted....well isn’t that a lot like having something thrust upon you against your beliefs? Isn’t being a detective about fighting for the truth and having faith in yourself to find it? If we don’t like drinking booze and it goes against our principle, I think that’s a lot like having to tackle a case with some corrupt feds forcing their unjust laws on you, am I right?!”

Naori grinned at his allies as he lifted the glass of rye up over his head.

“So I don’t think if you guys want to ingest it you shouldn’t have to!”

Pia hunched over her lap with her elbows propped up against her legs and her head resting on her hand, intrigued by where the boy’s crazy pep talk was headed.

Naori then turned his attention back to the MPY detectives.

“Another part of being a detective is finding loopholes in the system!”

Naori raised the glass of rye close to his head and gave a cheeky grin.

“You said we had to drink it, ya didn’t say how!”

Naori then dumped the rye on his head and laughed.

“So I’m gonna drink it with my heart and soul!”

Naoi and Taka nodded at each other knowing exactly what Naori’s insane stunt was for. He was covering for them. Still meeting the qualifications for Pia’s required toast in a bizarre and unusual fashion. A loophole with such insane logic that none other than only the Ultimate Abridged could find.

Naoi and Taka smiled as they dumped the rye on their heads. Chiori and Masaharu also joined in, grateful to have avoided the rye tasting as well.

After Naori playfully shook his rye soaked head like a wet dog, he looked at the MPY detectives and continued.

“Teamwork is all about having your hearts bonded as one. So I think with that little display of togetherness and showing how in sync we could be and our swift detective work in loopholes.....well, are we in or are we in!?”

Naori then grinned and turned towards Haruko.

“Feel free to join us in the detective baptism!”

Then he returned his attention back to the MPY detectives.

“Now I know what you are thinking.....A. I’m insane. And yeah, you are probably right. And B. I wasted perfectly good booze. Well, true....”

Naori smiled innocently like that of a small child, as his eyes shined with an even brighter innocence.

“But isn’t another part of being a detective is taking risks and trying new things!? So join us in our detective baptism party! It could be fun!”

Haruko nodded in agreement to the young detective's suggestion.

“Aye, not a bad idea mate. Sure and I have just the things to celebrate with.”

Haruko pulled from her jacket several spray cans of silly party string in assorted colors and handed one to each of the kuudere detectives.

“ Here ya go, mateys don't be shy! it's what they wanted.” Feel free to say banzai, bon bien or whatever other greetings suit the occasion.”

The office was filled with cheers and colored silly strings hitting the young detectives and scattering on their clothes in colorful mosaics. Making them look like part of the Christmas decor.

The four hard-boiled detectives of the MPY Kuudere Agency looked at each other. These Japanese n00bs refused to toast the project in the traditional way, but even so they seemed to have some kind of spirit and a glimmer of social intelligence. It was a clever getout they had come up with, something in the line of walking the soft edges of the law, which was an important hard-boiled skill.

Pia and Moon looked significantly at each other. They had been colleagues for so long that they nearly could read each other’s thoughts. Pia was thinking about who was going to clear up all the silly string and rose petals. Moon was thinking whether she really could accept the teenage applicants, if they would actually respond to training. Above all, she was worried that they might not shape up well enough to cope with the demands of a country house Friday to Monday at Cowley Court. In the end she decided to take a smol risk.

*We’ll begin to train them and see how it goes. If they don’t shape up I’ll can the whole thing and we’ll start again. Pia will be disappointed for the timing but that’s better than taking a weak team down to Cowley Court and blowing the whole Yuzu operation.*

She smiled encouragingly at her comrades and raised her glass to toast. The other three followed, and hot rye was tipped down detective throats, setting their stomachs on fire. Their brains began to run on higher wavelengths.

“Copacetic!” Moon rapped. “Mr Taka, take your members like Olympe said. Get them fed, watered and put down for the night. They need to be back here at 9 ack emma sharp, with bright eyes, bushy tails, and fully charged smartphones. Olympe will run the first session, and we’ll see how that goes before we fix up the second one.” She made a head signal at Janjan and Chanmi, who began to hustle the five applicants out of the office. She eyed Haruko in a stern way which told the pinkette she needed to wait and talk.

When the youngsters were out of the way, Olympe shut the office door and invited Haruko to sit down.

“Right. I need some straight answers to some simple questions. You’re not with Taka. Who sent you and why? What’s your relationship to the Princess Onecornchippy?”

Olympe was fiercely loyal to the Princess, her oldest friend in The Server.

A slight cat-like smile rests on Haruko’s face.

“Oh sorry, seems like I touched a nerve. At least you're the type to have the sharp focus to ask the real questions.”

Haruko decides at a moment's notice to switch into another outfit. This time, she wears a purple maid outfit with a purple headpiece and hair fixed into a braid.

“Normally a mess like this is not my problem but as this was a special occasion for them youngins, I’ll take care of it.”

“ I see y’all want a chat with moi. Alright then, I’ll entertain your questions.”

Haruko recovers her badge and sets her guitar and outfits she had to the side before sitting on the posh couch.

“ So many questions, where to start? Best prepare for a barrage then.”

“Hmmm well for starters if I was after your said princess friend, Olympe, she would be in another castle in hyperspace by now. Such a job would be outside my current assignments pay grade anyway.”

“ My relationship isn't with the Princess directly as space officers are educated in the noble families of the cosmos through early cadet training. There was a tidbit of info given to me that Princess Onecornchippy may have a fanatic who may give some cheap tabloids some leverage. Sabotaging of this target is just a major bonus I get to do.”

“ Now onto the main course. To put it simply, Richie boy Taka and his cute lover Masa have some friends out in various places. He may not know it but they support his decision, their mates sent me to keep an eye on the youngins.”

“ That being said, best keep that to ourselves for now. Capisce.their mates are dealing with their own business matters.”

“ If you are really bothered by who is in charge of me directly, fine, I’ll give a hint. try looking into this code name: Chipp.”

Haruko got up and began her diligent cleaning of streamers, rose petals and the spilled rye so nonchalantly after such a serious conversation.

(By guest writer SakuraRyuji01)

Olympe thought it was pretty snooty of Haruko to pop up, spray petals and streamers all over her nice clean office then say it wasn’t any of her business, however the girl had the grace to start cleaning up. Olympe joined her to show appreciation and together they put everything to rights.

Meanwhile Ms Moon Potato was thinking about the mystery. Who were the employers of Haruko, were they the silent partners of Taka? The clue Chipp practically shouted Chippy, which was the Princess’s nickname she allowed friends to use. It seemed too obvious. Could Lord Yuzu be behind it all? He was still her legal guardian until she ascended to the throne. Was Chippy in danger? No-one actually knew the plan was to get her, the MPY Detectives and the Abridged Detectives to Yuzu’s country house for a long weekend. *It won’t work unless they’ve got some accomplishments. We’ll have to test them tomorrow. Amateur dramatics maybe? They could put on tableaux. That would be fitting.*
.
In the end Moon could not think of anything by herself. She decided to consult with the others in the morning. It was obvious that Chanmi would have to take a look at the situation with the help of her AI. They had to stop Masaharu causing any more problems for Mistress Kou or someone would get bitten. Plus Take_5’s crossword puzzling skills would be helpful in working out the Chipp clue from Haruko.

Haruko and Olympe finished cleaning and tidying. It was late. Olympe’s phone beeped at her, a message from Dari.

“Oh no! We’ve gone on too long. He will have made a mess in the Grounds. I must go back now.” Pia was secretly pleased that Dari was lonely and worried. She turned to Haruko.

“Thank you for helping clean up, Haruko-san. If you want to join the training tomorrow, you will need a good smartphone. Even if you don’t want to become hard-boiled, there are things you need to know about The Server which will be covered early on. Also, we have to see if you have any accomplishments. Now I have to rush, Ms Moon Potato will see you out.”

Pia bowed to Haruko, gave Moon a hug and rushed off to her late appointment with her new beau. Moon turned to Haruko.

“I can have Janjan drive you home if you want, or shall we have a late supper at the corner diner?”

Haruko pondered for a moment on the offer.

“Dinner, huh? … Hmmm …. That sounds like a grand offer mate but perhaps some other time. No worries, go enjoy your meal. I got my own ride.”

Haruko makes a particular whistle and it summons her Vespa. Driving itself as if it was autonomous. Haruko waves Moon and Janjan goodnight before putting on her helmet and taking off into the open streets of the server.

“I’ll be back tomorrow. Ciao!”

“She wants watching, that one. Did you get her number plate?

“Yes, Moon,” Janjan nodded, “Probably a fake but we might learn something from that anyway. Someone made it and that may be traceable. Nice scooter. If Ms Olympe saw it she would be so jealous.” Olympe had a Vespa Elettrica she doted on, but it could not drive itself, let alone fly.

“It must have an anti-grav drive,” Moon offered, “More proof she is in contact with space aliens. The key point is whether she is for or against the Princess… Okay Janjan, me, you and Chanmi are going to work on those clues tomorrow morning while Pia trains the n00bs. Then we’ll take over in the afternoon and let her go back to the Grounds. For now, let’s say goodnight and get some rest. It’s been a long day.”

They caught a trolleybus Up Server to the Blue Home channel, where they both had their own 1LDKs.

Meanwhile Pia had collected her electric scooter from outside the corner diner, and she zipped down to the Nizicraft Grounds. She was anxious to get back to Dari and put a stop to whatever boi mischief he might have committed. When she reached the lobby she pinged him to come and fetch her. Since he was worried and lonely he came at a run. They met, panting and red from their hurry, and smiled at one another.

“Sorry I’m late, Dari. I’ve had the strangest evening with some Japanese kid detectives. Honestly, it was like a pantomime! But anyway we’re going to train them and they’ll help us with the Yuzu mission. I’ll tell you the highlights over a bit of supper.” She was hungry, having truncated her late lunch hours earlier and eaten only half a grilled cheese sandwich since.

“I’m sorry, Pia, but I threw away your dinner when I washed everything up. Hop on and we’ll go in. I can cook you something.”

She doubted that but she jumped onto his back and was carried, her warm body close to his, to their new flat where, amazingly, Dari had carefully loaded the dishwasher, though he had not set it running. Pia was pleased at this sign of some increase in domestication.

“Thank you, Dari! You are a good boi.” *It’s a start. He doesn’t deserve a kiss yet, though.* “What can you cook me?”

“How about beans on toast?” The young engineer’s culinary skills were as limited as she had expected. Left to herself Pia would have done something like Eggs Benedict for a late supper, or at least some charcuterie and crudités. She channelled her British heritage.

“That sounds lovely. Just one slice, please. It’s bad to eat a lot too late in the evening.”

Dari quickly produced the modest snack for both of them, and sat to watch Pia eat it as daintily as it allowed. She explained the situation with the Japanese detectives.

“So I have to go out tomorrow morning to give them basic training, but I’ll be back as soon as I can in the afternoon, and cook you a lovely dinner. Will you be alright without me?”

“Yes, fine. I’m working well, actually.” He told her about the new design work he had finished. “It’s an engine component. I’m going quite fast now I’ve got you to…” He wanted to say ‘inspire me’ but he was still not sure of how to talk to her about his newly discovered feelings for the blondette. *I have to think it out better. I’m not good at this love stuff. Maybe I can show her how I feel by my work… Yes, that’s the best way.*

“Another finished part! That’s great, Dari! Will you show it to me now? But first I want to have a shower.”

She loaded their dirty dishes into the machine and set it running, then walked to the utility room, shedding her tee-shirt and bra as she went, which rather shocked Dari. He looked quickly the other way as her sleek back was revealed. He hadn’t known about Pia’s fairly casual attitude to nudity inside her own home. Now he was finding out very quickly!

Pia put all her sports kit and underwear into the dirty linen basket, planning to do the laundry in the morning, then walked naked to the bathroom. He heard the shower run for a few minutes, then the hair dryer, and she came out nude and wandered into her bedroom. Dari looked quickly away again, not before he saw some things he actually rather liked, but it was embarrassing so early in their relationship. They hadn’t even held hands yet. He felt he was intruding on her privacy, even though she clearly didn’t think so herself.

*My Goddess, what’s she doing? Why is she like that? Should I say something?* He coughed. Pia’s head popped back out of her bedroom door.

“Yes? Sorry, was I walking around nude? It’s a bad habit of mine. I won’t do it again, Dari.” *But I will, hee hee!*

Pia simultaneously believed that a girl was more attractive with some mystery around her, and that bois responded to fairly obvious visual stimuli. There were times these conflicting ideas had led her into quite convoluted manoeuvres to manipulate a lover's emotions.

She came out now wearing a sleeveless one-piece swimsuit. It was a high leg number in dark blue with white panels on the sides, and a zip front, currently done up fully to close the high neck.

“Why are you wearing a swimming costume, Pia?”

“Well durrr...! I’m going for a swim later, of course. No point changing clothes three times before bed.”

*Where does she get the energy!?* Dari was tired from a long, hard day’s intellectual work. He only wanted to have a relaxing hot bath, watch some TV, and go to bed.

The blonde minx went into her room and came back out wearing an oversize varsity jacket in white, with sky-blue sleeves and details. There was a slogan on it which Dari couldn’t read. Pia had got it from the Princess; it came from outer space and the lettering was alien. The jacket hid her athletic torso very well, but as it was only hip length it just emphasised her shapely buttocks and long legs.

“Let’s go and see your new engine part, Dari.” Pia put on flip-flops to go to the workshop because it counted as exterior space, never having been properly cleaned. She made sure to walk in front of Dari, and he didn’t know where to look.

The newly finished part was on the 3D display. Dari rotated it for her to admire, proudly describing the advanced features and how it fitted into the rest of the design.

“It’s marvellous, Dari. I knew you had it in you. How long do you think it will take to finish all the different parts and build the first virtual test model?”

“If I work as hard as I have today, I could do it in a week, Pia.”

“You mustn’t work too hard and burn out, besides we have to practice our accomplishments, like dancing.”
.
She stepped very close to him, put her left hand on his shoulder and held her right out in the position for a ballroom hold. He took up the correct posture, holding her right hand in his left, his right hand on her left shoulder blade. Now their bodies were close, their heads looking over each other’s shoulders rather than face to face. He took a deep breath. Pia smelt of fresh, clean girl with a hint of baked beans and rye whiskey.

She went on explaining.

“There’s no point going to Yuzu with your design if we can’t wheedle him and that means a lot of work to fit into his country house fantasy aesthetic. Dancing is important, and piano and singing and other things like card games and croquet. But it will be fun! I’m looking forwards to dancing with you, Dari.”

She turned her head to smile directly at him. Suddenly Dari wanted very much to kiss her, and he began slowly, hesitantly to incline his head towards hers with the objective of touching his lips to hers but, before he could achieve his goal, Pia dropped his hand and spun gracefully out of his arms.
.
“I’m going for a swim now, do you want to come?”

He was too tired to swim.

“No thanks, Pia, I’m bushed. I’ll have a bath and go to bed. What time will you get up in the morning?”

“6:30.”

**Olympe is a girl who gets up early and stays up late.**

“I’ve got to do the laundry and I want to do some weights and have a shower and make your breakfast, and then I must make my face, and dress, and get to the MPY office by 8:45. I’ll leave the Grounds at 8:30 and you have to carry me out otherwise I’m stuck in here.”

“That’s fine. I’ll easily be up by then. Um, Pia…”

“Yes?”

“Thank you.”

“For what? What have I done?”

“Pia… Thanks for everything! It’s because of you I can make my new plane.”

“You’re the genius, Dari, I’m just helping and it’s not nearly done yet. Thank me when we’re finished. There’s a lot of work to get through. We’ll do it together. Come on. Go and rest now. You need to refresh your mind. I’ll have a good breakfast ready for you in the morning. Just make sure you’re ready to carry me out in time.”

They looked at each other, their gazes open and trusting. Pia reached out her hand and took Dari’s. She led him back to the little 2LDK and shoved him in the door.

“Have a nice bath and rest now. I’m going for a swim. Be in bed when I get back.”

Dari went and got ready for the welcome waters of Lethe. Meanwhile Pia refreshed herself with a 2K swim, length after length of the pool, swimming slowly and steadily. She aimed for endurance rather than speed. Her objective was to stay the course, to push through the barrier of weariness and complete the distance.

The next morning Olympe is at the MPY offices at 08:50.

She’s wearing a black jumpsuit, a black leather jacket, zip-up heel boots, and a bumbag full of essential girl and detective equipment slung over her shoulder and around her torso. Her makeup is smooth and understated, her earrings are modest pearl studs. Her gat is loaded. Her smartphone is charged to 100%.

She waits to see if Taka and his Abridged Detectives will arrive for induction.

08:30

What was supposed to be a simple morning task of getting out of bed and preparing themselves for the MPY’s detective training, spiraled into complete chaos.

Naori had overslept from a late night of gaming and had even fallen asleep with his phone on, which was now dead because he had been using it to read cheat guides for the games he was playing.

Taka, Chiori, Masaharu, and Naoi had to rush over to his apartment to help him hurry and get ready so they wouldn’t miss Olympe’s training. This wasn’t an issue as they all had their own morning routines in order.

Masaharu was a video game designer, and he liked to get up early so he could get caught up on his client’s game orders.

Chiori’s reason for being able to get up was simple. The girl loved breakfast. That was her only incentive for getting up early. She was that simple.

Naoi’s was simply that he was used to it. He had to get up early for rehearsals or photo shoots with his job of being an actor. He was also used to the early hours due to his prior experience as a detective as well. Sometimes to catch people in the act of a crime, he would have to get up early so he could get to the location a suspect might be and hide before the suspect saw them and he could take notes or record the evidence of what he saw.

Taka wasn’t used to getting up early as he liked to do business negotiations and deals on his own time, however he was not so vain and reckless to put his beauty sleep over work. Thus he had no issue getting up early... unlike Naori who valued his games over reality...

Taka was grateful his other three allies had no issues with getting up early in the morning, which shaved off a lot of time with precious minutes that instead of being used on themselves, could all be put toward getting the Ultimate Abridged cleaned up and out the door on time.

Which was much needed indeed. When Taka and his gang arrived, Naori’s room was an absolute mess. Clothes strewn about everywhere, video games and their cases all over the floor. Just trying to navigate around the mess of clothes and games to get to Naori’s bed took time.

(By guest writer SHSL Defective Detective)

08:55

Taka and his team of Abridged Detectives made their way down the channel to the MPY Agency office.

“I can’t believe how freaking late you and your dumb ass made us!” Taka griped as he was hurrying down the hall, still trying to get one last arm through the sleeve of his black suit jacket.

Naori yawned, somehow managing to keep up his pace with Taka by power walking by him at an abnormal speed. Waving his arm in front of his mouth and the other stretched out as he groggily replied.

“I couldn’t help it...I had to know who the culprit was...”

To an onlooker, the sight of Naori keeping up with Taka who was running at full speed just by power walking was a sight to behold. But to Chiori and Naoi who trudged along behind them, it wasn’t anything unusual. Naori was the Ultimate Abridged. He was a walking, talking Murphy’s Law. Anything that could happen would and will happen. His normal everyday antics were on par with that of a cartoon character. There was nothing logical about him. Naoi and Chiori who were already exhausted from trying to keep up with running didn’t want to exhaust themselves further by frying their brains trying to comprehend the bizarre enigma that was Naori, so they just ignored the odd scene in front of them.

Masaharu who was also tracking along behind Naori and Taka, he too ignored the scene and chose to stay focused on the video games on his PSP. His mind focused on a strategy type game. One that centered around building an empire and protecting a fortress from enemy armies.

An anger mark appeared on Taka’s head as he whipped a glare at Naori, and had finished putting his arm through the sleeve of his suit jacket and was now skillfully running and buttoning his suit up at the same time.

“You are the ONLY human being I know that could value solving a 2D case over a real one! How could you put video games over working with real live 3D detectives!? Where are your priorities!?”

Naori let his arms drop to his sides and blinked sleepily, not bothering to look at Taka but still keeping next to Taka using the same insanely fast walking pace as before, not even dropping an inch of speed.

“Easy. That case had ghosts, aliens, and even ESPers...”

Naori now fully awake from reminiscing about his fictional adventures the night before continued to speak and looked at Taka smugly.

“Can you tell me working with these lady detectives, that we are going to get to fight a battle with an evil mastermind trying to take over the world by turning everyone into super computers!?”

Naori grinned triumphantly.

“I think not!”

Taka stared in awe at Naori’s bizzare logic, but not so taken aback he stopped running. Now finished with buttoning up his suit, he had moved onto combing his hair as he spoke. Despite the fact he was running at full speed, he had great ease combing it. Making him look just as abridged as Naori’s power walking, if not more.

“Where are your priorities!? How could you value a fake 2D world, with a fake mastermind...over the chance to catch a REAL criminal mastermind!? A chance you could have screwed up, by oversleeping!”

Taka finished combing his hair and handed his comb to Naori as he kept running. With Naori still power walking beside him and neither one showing any signs of exhaustion. The two boys did the hand off so quickly, they looked like two spies deactivating a bomb together.

Naori gave a smart aleck smile as he combed the back of his bed head into his usual spiky hair and glanced back at Taka. Still keeping up his absurd pace by just power walking.

“I don’t want to hear that from the businessman who sleeps until 12:00pm everyday!~”

Naori finished fixing his hair and handed the comb back to Taka who was still running beside him.

“Why you-!!!” Taka growled as he swiped the comb from Naori’s hand and pocketed it as he ran. Taka then glared at Naori, his teeth gritting with annoyance and another angermark forming on his head.

“You sure have a lot of nerve saying that, when YOU are the one that made us this late to begin with! You and your video games!!! Honestly, who prioritizes fake mysteries over the chance to solve real ones!?”

Naori grinned smugly as Chiori and Naoi who were still keeping up pace behind the two boys and gave an uneasy look as they sweatdropped observing the argument that was about to take place and braced themselves for the next wave of chaos that was about to form.

“Really, Taka Baka? You are going to hold my video game waifus over my head? For shaaaame. At least when I’m not gaming I can get up on time and don’t need to sleep til 12pm noon like some kind of comatose dead guy...Hey! That should be your talent! Ultimate Dead guy! Or I know! Ultimate Sleepy Kid since you sleep all day!~”

Taka, still running, swung a punch at Naori’s smug, smart aleck face. Naori grinned and dodged by letting his pace in his power walk fall back enough to miss the punch then just as quickly resumed his pace next to Taka like a truck on the highway losing and gaining speed in some kind of high speed race.

Taka’s eyebrow arched up in annoyance then as he still ran beside Naori, hung his head in defeat and sighed. Then immediately picked up his head and spirits as he felt more ammo come to him.

*Oh boy...here they go... * Was Chiori and Naoi’s thought as their reluctant onlookers. Sure, they knew with kids of Ultimate Talents such as themselves,arguing was second nature due to the structure of the literal trials they had endured. Arguing a point and solving the puzzle’s trials was how you survived, after all.

But Taka and Naori together was just overkill. Yes, Naoi himself had gotten into a few scuffles with Taka over conflicting views at times, due to Taka’s stubbornness… However Naori was a different story. Taka was a being of logic and had to be right. Naori on the other hand...not only did his existence defy all logic, but his words did too. He at times because of his child-like innocence would even turn arguments into a game, much like how he was doing now. Their extreme conflicting personalities made the debates between Naori and Taka... rather excessive compared to that of the usual trials of kids with Ultimate Talents.

“So...what was it in that game that made you stay up all night for anyways?”

Taka asked, his voice full of confidence.

*Heh heh! If I can downplay Naori’s waifus’ profiles, I can show him how dumb he was and how much time he wasted on that game!*

“Easy! Waifus! That mastermind Kinna-Chan was so cute!”

“Ara...?”

Taka’s eyes grew big as he was bewildered by Naori’s response.

*Mastermind!? I hadn’t thought of that! Crap! How am I supposed to troll him if he’s in love with THE DANG VILLAIN!?!?*

Hearts reflected in Naori’s eyes as he gushed over a fictional girl, the source of his sudden burst of energy.

“I don’t care if Kinna-chan was some insane alien waifu heck bent on world domination and wanted to take over the world! She’s super cute! She’s got my number!~” Naori answered back, as he playfully winked at Taka. All the while as they hurried along the hallway leading to the MPY office.

Taka had finally had it up to here with Naori’s insanity. It was just way too early in the morning. Having finally caught up to the door to the MPY offices at the end of the long hallway, Taka stood off to the side and banged his head on the wall repeatedly to get out his exasperated energy from dealing with the headcase that was Naori.

Chiori and Naoi sweatdropped as they caught up to Taka and Naori and watched the scene. Completely forgetting their prior exhaustion and engrossed in the chaos in front of them. Masaharu had managed to reach them as well, but was too invested in defending his virtual fortress from an onslaught of archers flinging fire arrows at him. Though he was absorbed in his game, his face continued to show no emotion as he pressed buttons and his eyes slowly darted from place to place looking over the screen of his PSP.

Naori put his hands on his hips and grinned as he stared at Taka, completely oblivious of Taka’s suffering.

“Haha! Great thinking Taka! We should totally get our heads prepped for lots of headaches! Mystery solving sure can be headache inducing! Best to get some head training in! I’ll join you, Mi Compadre!~”

Naori stood next to Taka and banged his head on the wall beside him and counted each hit like he was doing sit ups.

Masaharu had just finished defeating an enemy attack on his virtual fortress and saved his game. Ignoring his allies and patiently waiting for the “Saving...” text to alert him when he could turn off his console.

Olympe, who was in the office connected to the door the Abridged Detectives were standing at, heard the commotion outside, got up from her seat, and opened the door.

She sweatdropped as she stared at the bizarre scene before her. The two teenage boys, Naori and Taka were hitting their heads on the wall beside each other. With Naori hitting his head on the wall at a much faster rate than Taka and counting his own hits, while Taka banged his head on the wall slowly in silent grief. Naoi and Chiori stood there equally as dumbfounded as Olympe and sweatdropped staring at the two boys banging their heads on the wall.

Masaharu looked up at Olympe as he put his game console away in his coat pocket.

“Welcome to the circus.”

(By guest writer SHSL Defective Detective)

Olympe stared at the Japanese young’uns. *At least they’ve turned up more or less on time. Let’s get them sorted out...*

“The great thing about banging your head on a wall is that it feels nice when you stop,” she said. She ushered the young'uns into the office, where they found she had moved the desks around and arranged six chairs and coffee cups at hers. She sat down and invited the others to take their places.

“Thanks for coming, members,” Olympe started, “If your phone needs charging, put it on now because you’ll need it later this morning.” She waited for them to plug their phones in, then began to instruct them in a mixture of English and Japanese.

“Good. Now, you’re going to be fully trained in all the skills and knowledge you need to become hard-boiled detectives and accomplish the mission to Cowley Court. I’ll explain more about that later. For now, here are the main topics we’re going to cover. She drew their attention to a blackboard, which had the following list chalked on it:

1. Introduction to The Server
2. Infomatics
3. General principles of hard-boiled and kuudere detecting
4. Hard-boiled or cyberpunk training
5. New equipment
6. Accomplishments

I’m going to take you through items 1 and 2 this morning, then Ms Moon Potato and the others will start you off on 3 and 4, which will take several days to get through, because there’s a lot of reading involved. But first we need a list of your accomplishments so we can plan the training for item 6, which will happen later. Accomplishments are really important for the Cowley Court job.” She passed out sheets of paper with lists on them.

Social Skills
1. Amateur dramatics
2. Graces
3. Dancing: `Cha-cha, Charleston, Foxtrot, The Gay Gordons, Jive, Quickstep, Rumba, Swing, Tango, Waltz`
4. Piano
5. Singing
6. Both at the same time
7. Other musical instrument (Fill it in)
8. Card Games: `Canasta, Contract Bridge, Cribbage, Piquet, Whist, Hanafuda (Koi-koi)`

Sports
1. Billiards
2. Cricket
3. Croquet
4. Ice Skating
5. Lawn Tennis
6. Riding
7. Rounders
8. Rowing and/or Sculling
9. Snooker
10. Swimming

“You’re probably wondering why this stuff is important, so I’ll give you the background. A while back I met a boi called Darios Kazemi. He’s an aeronautical engineer. I decided, partly on the advice of The Oracle, to make a project of him. At first I just wanted to smarten him up a bit, improve his wardrobe and posture, that kind of thing. But quite soon he inspired me with a vision. Darios wants to build a new type of flying machine, which can allow all the members to visit each other easily and safely. That’s a thing which can benefit everyone, so I decided to help him achieve it, and the MPY Agency and the Princess Onecornchippy are helping me to help Dari, and now you’re going to help, too.”

She left out the point that the Princess was only half onboard so far. Pia felt confident she could get her to join up 100%.

“Okay, so Dari has plenty of good ideas but no Coins, and it turns out that Coins are probably the most important thing in making a new kind of plane. There’s a lot of printing and testing and adjusting involved, which is expensive. I had the idea of getting the Coins from Lord Yuzu, cause he’s got so many he doesn’t know that to do with them, also he’s got a bit of a thing for unusual flying machines, he’s already got three of them so it should be possible to persuade him to get a fourth one. You see where I’m going with this?”

Olympe paused and got a large metal can of something from the kitchenette. She offered the drink to everyone. It was black coffee, hot and bitter. She wetted her throat.

“Now, dealing with Yuzu isn’t like dealing with an ordinary businessboi, cause he isn’t one. You have to wheedle him a special way, and the way to do that is to join in his weird fantasy setup at Cowley Court. Basically he’s got everything organised like a British country house of the 1930s; there’s a butler, maids, footbois and so on, and he holds house parties. We’re gonna get ourselves invited to one of his parties. The Princess will fix that for us, she’s his niece. Once we’re there, we need to join in with the entertainment. There’s no TV, and Lady Sakura doesn’t like the gramophone, instead, we’ll all do some kind of turn, like singing, or we’ll play cards. There’ll be at least one big dance party, maybe two if we stay long enough. That’s why you need some accomplishments. So I need you to fill in an honest assessment of your level in all those items on a 0-100% scale. There’s no shame in not knowing these things, so don’t be worried about putting in 0%, me and Moon just need to know so we can give you the right training, alright? But actually it’s kind of fun, you know, playing piano and the dancing and so on. The whole thing is like a glamorous cosplay convention. I promise you’ll enjoy it. Fill in the questionnaires and leave them on the desk and we’ll go out for an orientation.”

Olympe handed out pencils to anyone who didn’t have something to write with, and checked her make-up while she waited for the Japanese to fill in their sheets. She gathered the papers and put them in a desk drawer, then swilled out the coffee can in the kitchenette, carrying it with her as she went to the door.

“Okay, we’re going out for a walk. Bring your smartphones.”

Olympe led the young’uns down to channel level and walked to the corner diner, where she gave the empty can back to the staff. She strode off eastwards, talking as she walked.

“This channel is called The Deep. It’s where members go when they have troubles. That’s why Yancey and Moon put the agency here, to help members achieve justice at the rate of 100 clams an hour plus expenses. There are lots of other channels too, you’ve been to some of them already. You probably already found out you can use trolleybuses or taxicabs to get around. I’ve got a scooter. Janjan’s got a car. For now we’re going to walk to the Scarlet Cathedral where I’ll teach you about Infomatics.”

Olympe strolled in a leisurely way, to allow the Japanese trainees to keep up with her and look around at the scenery. She pointed to the western sky. The full moon was low over the horizon, looking chonky and red. It was Earth’s moon, recognisable by the pattern of craters on it, but drifting alongside it were several other, smaller moons.

“You see the moon? She’s important because significant things happen when she’s full. You bois and girls arriving here, that’s a significant thing. It shows you’re important to the project, so listen well and learn. You see the other little moons? That shows you’re not in Kansas anymore. I mean you’re not on Earth. You’re in The Server now, and things work differently here, like rich members can buy their own moon. One of those moons belongs to the Princess. Yancey bought it for her, and the spaceship she uses to visit it.”

They passed the NSFW channel. Olympe pointed it out to them, but she told them they probably couldn’t get in yet, because they were too young.

“If you’re thinking who runs The Server, the answer is Mistress Kou cause she built it. Kou can do anything and no-one can stop her. She can change reality at the touch of a button. But Kou very rarely intervenes. She’s got a strict moral code. She likes members to work out their own problems, that’s how members learn. Sometimes the Mods get involved. They’re Kou’s helpers. You don’t ever want to cross a Mod. They say they don’t bite but I can tell you from experience that some of them do. So don’t get on their wrong side. There aren’t a lot of laws here, though. The main one is to be excellent to one another. If you keep that in mind you should be alright.”

They were now approaching the Great Piazza from the south.

“Now, what you have to be careful of, is that everything in here works like IRL only there’s extra stuff too. IRL means In Real Life. If you get a gun and shoot yourself, it’s going to hurt. You can be killed. If you’re killed, you won’t actually die, I mean your IRL baseline personality and body will be fine but it’ll be painful, you'll get kicked -- out of The Server, I mean -- and when you come back in you’ll have lost all your xp. You’re all going to have guns because you need it to get the hard-boiled Aspect, so be careful with them.”

Their long walk had brought them all the way to the Great Piazza, more or less in the centre of Server City. The east side was occupied by the garish neon bulk of the Niziiro Casino, a temple to Mammon and luck. Opposite it was the Scarlet Cathedral. Olympe stopped in the middle of the broad pedestrian square.

“Okay, I’m sorry for going on so long. We’re going to do Infomatics next, inside the Cathedral, but first we’ll have a bathroom break.”

“Lead the way.” Taka replied to Pia as she was giving them a tour of the Cathedral.

Naoi, Chiori, and Masaharu were quietly taking pictures of each of the surroundings they saw and took notes along the way in case they needed it for later. While Naori excitedly wandered from decor to decor of the Cathedral amazed by the intricate architecture. Gawking at each thing he saw like they were all priceless heirlooms in a museum. Though he was hyped up, he was very careful not to break anything. He was quite respectful of his surroundings for he knew he was in a holy place.

Naoi walked on ahead of the group curious about their new environment and its correlation to some things Pia said earlier.

”I decided partly on the advice of The Oracle to make a project of him”

*Mm…*

Naoi glanced up at the vaulted ceiling of the Cathedral, staring in awe at the many different stained glass designs painted onto it as he thought about this strange new environment.

*Cathedrals are usually linked to religious entities...Pia...If my memory serves me correctly, said something about an Oracle...could she have brought us here to meet said Oracle?*

Naoi scanned his allies’ faces for any clue if they might be thinking the same thing. It was hard to tell as all their actions were as varied as their personalities.

Chiori was glancing at her phone then looking up at the various paintings hung up on the walls of the room they were in. She stared intently at a few paintings, then returned her attention to her phone, then back at the paintings and continued this process for the next few paintings she walked over to and examined.

Naoi assumed judging by her occasional eyebrow arching up, and puzzled looks at her phone that she was trying to decipher which paintings Pia and the other MPY detectives might test them on later if the religious aspect of the Cathedral was an important part of properly integrating into and understanding the culture of The Server. He glanced back up at the shimmering stained glass ceiling as he continued his thoughts.

*...I hadn’t thought of that...It’s true. Religion in some areas is part of the make-up of a society in some cultures...so studying up on their beliefs might not be a bad move for fitting in. That’s clever, Chiori…*

Naoi looked over towards Chiori’s back and smiled, as he finished mentally complimenting her.

Curious of his other team members, Naoi analyzed their actions as well to see how they were also coping. He wondered if they reached the same conclusion that he assumed Chiori had. He glanced over at Taka. Taka was standing a few feet away glancing at one of the paintings with his arms crossed and one finger tapping as he did so.

*Is he taking notes on the paintings as well?*

Naoi examined Taka a bit more closely from where he was standing. He noticed Taka didn’t take out his usual mini notepad and pen he keeps in his suit pocket for critical note taking.

*No...that can’t be it...but with Taka-kun you can never tell...he always has a poker face on when he’s being serious...you can’t ever tell what’s going on through his head...He could be staring at the painting...but at the same time he could also be staring at it as he’s thinking something completely unrelated...I wonder what he’s thinking about as he stares so intently at it?*

The painting in question Taka was staring at so intensely was one of The Oracle. He wondered if he would need to prepare himself for a meeting with The Oracle in the picture. The very Oracle Pia had mentioned earlier...

“I decided partly on the advice of The Oracle to make a project of him”

Pia’s words were echoing through his head as he glanced at the painting, then back at Pia who was checking her phone.

Pia mentioned something about infomatics...but what is this “infomatics” she spoke of?

Taka approached the painting of The Oracle more closely as he muddled through his thoughts.

I’ve heard of the study of “informatics” but...not “infomatics”...While I’m not too keen on the computer stuff...

Taka glanced over at Masaharu who was staring at a large painting over by some kind of altar. Then Taka looked back at the painting of The Oracle.

*Masaharu has always helped me with that stuff...And that other hacker, Hashitori...has always been my father’s behind the scenes man in computer networking to help us understand and move around key components in the business setting...so my father and I didn’t have to fully understand “informatics”, just the basic understanding of it...Since Hashitori did all the dirty work.*

Taka cupped his chin with his hand as he gazed intently at the face of The Oracle in the painting.

*What it boils down to, “informatics” is the study of computer sciences and how it processes information to help better human society...however…*

Taka recalled the writing on Pia’s chalkboard from earlier. It had said “Infomatics” not “Informatics.” He continued to cycle through his memory on what else Pia had said about “Infomatics”

”We’re going to infomatics next.”

She had said it. “Infomatics.” Clear as day. There was no mistaking it, it was the same term written on the board.

”Inside the Cathedral. But first we are going to have a bathroom break.”

A bathroom break? In a Cathedral? Could this Cathedral be the next part of our objectives?
Taka’s eyes widened a bit as he came to his next realization.

Could it be...”infomatics”...

“Based on the advice The Oracle had given me”

That “infomatics” is some sort of technological information processing...

He thought back to the other things he had heard her say earlier.

”Kou built the Server”

”She can change reality at the touch of a button.”

*That “infomatics” is the coexistence of god-like entities cooperating with scientific research...!? The combination of science and religion!? Is that what “infomatics” really is!?*
Taka shook and rubbed the back of his head at the thought.

*No. That can’t be it. I'm sure Pia just wanted to come by here to either introduce us to The Oracle or wanted to show us one of her favorite hangout spots. I’m sure I’m just overthinking things...and any of her seeming to loiter here is probably just her waiting on us to finish sight-seeing. Yeah. That’s it.*

Having reassured himself, Taka crossed his arms and turned around back towards his allies. Watching and waiting for them to finish with each of their own discoveries.

Masaharu took out his PSP from his coat pocket and picked up where he had left off on his empire-defense strategy game. His hands were focused on the game’s militia combat and strategy, while his mind was elsewhere.

*Hm...The others all seem to be taking notes of this place’s religious ethnicity...I’d do the same…*

Masaharu glanced at Pia’s reflection looking at her phone, via reflected off his game screen.

*But it seems too soon...sure they said they want us to study...But I really doubt anything listed on that board has anything to do with this place...After all...Oracle wasn’t on there...And I really doubt these MPY Detectives are the type to pull a fast one on a bunch of kids in-training detectives...if they thought we were that imcompetent...There’s absolutely no way they would make us study something not written on that board. It’s too soon…*

Masaharu finished defending his empire from some sky dragons on his game then saved his progress and put his PSP away.

*I could tell the others over there studying...that their paranoia has taken over and they are overthinking things...but...*

Masaharu stole a glance at Pia then looked back over at his allies and sighed.

*I don’t want to make them look bad...It’s better if they try to play it off like they were interested in the art rather than being caught jumping to conclusions in all their eagerness to do a good job...ehckf...how embarrassing…*

Naoi pulled at his bangs nervously.

*Mm. I hope they figured out this place is just a pit stop and probably not the source of one of our training-grounds…*

Naoi recalled his memory back to when they had their embarrassing first impressions.

*We’ve already embarrassed ourselves enough as is...we don’t need overthinking added to that list of regrets... *

Naoi noticed some movement in the corner of his eye. Taka and Masaharu were idly standing by chatting about the craftsmanship of the Cathedral as they glanced up at the vaulted ceiling and all its awe-inspiring designs, with Taka commenting here and there wondering how much it would cost to get someone to paint something like that in his mansion.

Naoi rolled his eyes as he watched them.

*Oh brother...even here Baka Taka can’t read the atmosphere…*

Naoi sweatdropped and sighed, his shoulders sagging along with the gesture.

*I guess respecting religious culture must not be on the agenda for the Fujisaka family business training…*

Naori quietly rejoined Taka and Masaharu. His eyes brimming with childlike wonder. Naoi could tell just by looking at his face he was dying off to make some kind of obscure rpg reference about the Cathedral’s architecture and The Oracle, but had enough sense to keep his mouth shut as to not upset the holy entities residing there.

Naoi sighed in relief that Naori at least had that much sense, unlike Taka.

Naoi gazed over at Chiori who was still studying the paintings. He hoped she caught up to the realization all the others seemed to have realized, that the Cathedral was most likely just a pit stop, and not the source of any important training.

Chiori turned around to face Pia, and pointed as she asked her with great interest about the history of The Oracle and how its existence was related to the Server.

Naoi sighed in relief as he watched Pia happily nod and answer her questions about the history of The Oracle. Content his observations about Chiori were wrong and she was genuinely curious about The Oracle and not jumping the gun like the others did on why Pia chose a Cathedral of all places for a bathroom break.

During Chiori and Pia’s Q&A on the history of the Server and The Oracle, Naori blurted out of nowhere,

“Hey! Is that pink lady Haruko-Chan gonna show up for detective training too with us?”

Naori cocked his head to side and stared curiously at Pia as he waited for the answer.

.
“She’s probably here now, hiding in plain sight, Naori-kun,” Olympe replied. The Cathedral was a huge space, containing various confessional booths where a member could sit unseen. There were also pews, pillars, lecterns and shrines where you could hide in different ways. The study group were not the only members present. The Cathedral was always open and got used for mundane as well as spiritual purposes, though it was such a large building that it never seemed crowded. It was always possible to find a private corner somewhere.

“Anyway, if you’re all ready, let’s carry on.” The tall blondette went to a nearby votive candle-stand, slid several small tokens -- they were Coins but the Japanese n00bs did not yet know this -- into the collection box and lit two candles and a small bundle of incense. The heavily scented smoke began to drift in the air, and she breathed it in. It seemed as if Olympe had a private moment of prayer, then she took a chonky mil-spec smartphone from her bumbag.

“Everyone got their phone?” Olympe asked her pupils. “Gather round. You’ll find a new app installed, the icon is just a white capital letter I on a navy blue circle.”

She showed them all her phone’s screen, then ran the app:

`In the Beginning Was the Command Line`

Olympe typed `.timely` and her bag suddenly weighed down with new Coins popping. She typed some other commands and looked at the results, but did not show them to the Japanese.

'Question: Should Pia reveal The Oracle to the Abridged Detectives?’ ‘8ball: Maybe'

*Fucc! Cryptic as ever… Oh well.*

“Okay, this app is called Infomatics. It’s for doing stuff here in The Server, finding out information and so on. It’s all to do with computers, basically. Here’s how you use it. There are loads of commands you can type in to do different things. The first thing is to get some Coins. Every 23 hours you can claim 100 Coins by typing `.timely`, so do it now.”

If the teenagers follow Olympe’s instructions, they will feel their bags or pockets get heavier as something pops inside. It’s a handful of Coins, the standard physical currency of The Server, several different varieties with face values of 0.01, 0.11, 1, 11, and 23. Higher values are also available, always prime numbers, for members with chonkier bank balances.

“That’s enough to live on for a day, if you have a plain lifestyle, otherwise you need to be good at gambling, or get a job, which is what a lot of members do. Like I did, when I became a detective. Okay, the next thing is, point your phone cam at me.”

There was a subtly glowing name, maybe? hovering over Olympe’s head in augmented reality. It read `Olympe#1337`.
.
“You see my username? Okay, type `.uinfo Olympe#1337` `Enter`.

The screen added more details to the display overlaying her image.

`Username: Olympe#1337 570891189825672192
Nickname: Olympe (Pia) Reese
Roles: Bossy, Intelligent, Flirty, Kuudere, NSFW, Tomboy`

“Now you know my full name, and you know I call myself Pia, for reasons which no-one understands. At least, no-one has guessed it yet, as far as I know. However, please do not call me Pia. I reserve that name for my closest associates. I am sure I will invite you to use it someday but for now please use Olympe.” Her face was oddly serious about this.

“Now type `.xp Olympe#1337` ` Enter`.

The screen displayed different information:

`@Olympe#1337. Club: Frog Kingdom#1
Global Level: lv.81. Ranking #16. 159/795`

“Good. That’s enough to start with. That shows you I'm level 81 and the 16th highest ranking member in The Server, and I need a bit over 700xp to reach level 82.. You can do that for any member you see, to find out who they are and other stuff. Then you’ll be able to ping them and send messages and things. Try it on each other. You’ll find you’ve already got a bit of xp because you accumulate some every day you are in The Server, but you’re still n00bs at the moment. You’ll get more xp by doing things like this hard-boiled training. You should generally respect a higher level member because they’ve learnt more stuff than you, and you can learn from them. But I need to warn you, some members can disguise themselves, so it isn’t always true, what the Infomatics shows you about them.”

She put the phone back into her bag.

“There are lots of other commands; we’ll come to them later on, or maybe Masaharu-kun will discover them for you, now he knows about the app. There’s two more things I want to show you here, then we’ve got to pop over to the Casino for a bit.”

Olympe led the young’uns over to a nearby confessional and checked it was empty. She sat inside and left the door open so she could speak to her five students.

“This is a confessional. Members also use them for various types of assignations as well as for actual confession. Spies, conspirators, and detectives come here. And lovers. However I never use the confessional for carnal purposes. When I thought of the idea I asked The Oracle and was advised against it.”

The black-clad detective was a shadowy figure in the relative gloom inside the dark wood booth. Only her pale head and hands stood out from the darkness, and a faint waft of her Creed Erolfa perfume drifted out. She was no longer looking at the Japanese, her head was bowed towards her knees in some moment of quiet introspection. *These kids have a troubled past and an uncertain future. They’re very young and brilliant and mixed up. They’ve come to The Server to learn. I hope they may also be healed here, and I can learn from them. Because I need healing too. I’ll do my best to help them.*

Her face came up again, revealing a serious expression, then her mood flipped and she smiled as she quitted the booth.

“Come.” Olympe went over to the candle-stand where she had made offerings earlier.

“In case it isn’t obvious, a candle-stand like this is for making offerings of candles or incense -- I offer both for maximum luck -- when a member prays, or consults The Oracle. The number of Coins to give is not prescribed, but you should give at least 1 if you are not Coinless. When we started this session I asked The Oracle if I should reveal its secret to you. The answer was ‘maybe’, so I’ve decided not to tell you for now, but as you’ll find out somehow, I will give you a warning. You should be very careful how you ask questions because The Oracle often gives ambiguous or misleading answers. I’ve consulted The Oracle many times during my career here. Sometimes it has helped me, and sometimes it has led me astray. That’s all I have to say for now.”

With this cryptic warning Olympe led the group back out to the bright Piazza, its vast expanse dotted with late morning pedestrian traffic criss-crossing all ways on different errands. The moon had set behind the Cathedral. The neon glow of the Casino was still evident, despite the wintry sunlight. She strode towards the entrance lobby but did not go in.

“Here is the Great Niziiro Casino, ruled by Saki-bot. She and I have a chequered history between us. We have done each other wrongs. At the moment I hold the upper hand over Saki -- she won’t dare refuse me entrance -- but even so I won’t go in today. Inside there are many games you can play, for high stakes if you wish. If you’re lucky, your Coins will increase. If not… well… Although Yancey won enough to buy a moon and a spaceship for the Princess, he lost far more than that as well. So be careful. You can also play for small stakes on your phone wherever you are. I’m not going to teach you the games so don’t ask me. Anyway, it’s been a long morning. You must be tired, so let’s go and have some lunch, my treat.”

Olympe led the group back to the southern exit of the Piazza, where they boarded a trolleybus Down Server. She hopped off at the entrance to The Deep and took the young’uns to the corner diner, where they occupied one of the few larger booths, a circular banquette which could accommodate six members with a bit of a squeeze. As the host, Olympe slid herself in first, and waited to see which two Abridged Detectives would seat themselves on her left and right. She had no intention of practising her flirty wiles on them, but she was interested to find out if any of them, bois or girls, were attracted to her.