King of the Hill

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**Decio**

Your hands hurt from throwing astroids down. During your hand massage, I pull a CREED on you and run you over with Baneblade.

My hill. (snurl exalted for molten golem idea.

)

**p_gray99**

The baneblade gets crushed by my squadron of baneblades. My hill.

**Decio**

Uh oh. A strike cruiser lures an Ork Waaagh! into your baneblades. Ramshackle craft tumble out of orbit into your tanks as gretchin missiles loop through the air and explode harmlessly. Eventually, a Stompa clears everything away when it explodes due to a severe reaction to stuffing looted Guardsmen into the engines.

I take over the hill with my Joker-themed Dark Eldar Haemonculus coven/kabal.

My hill.

**p_gray99**

You call that a kabal? This is a kabal. (Sends 3500pts worth of DE at you, alongside a detachment of tau that they've corrupted). My hill.

**Decio**

Ermagerd. My Scarecrow Archon unlseashes Kheradruakh and an army of Mandrakes to scour the hill.

My hill.

**Tadashi**

I open a open warp portal and send in Slaaneshi Daemons to join your party, then call in the Grey Knights to clean up. My hill.

**snurl**

The Gray knights are Ultramarines in disguise. They clean you up as well for consorting with demons.
Then I reclaim the hill.

**Tadashi**

Carpet bombing. My hill.

**Decio**

After burning all of the rugs and carpets you bought secondhand from a Chinese smuggler, I reclaim the hill and stick a fork in it.

I fortify it with random militia. Barrels and planks used for barricades.

My hill.

**CuddlySquig**

I post adds for land. The militia pick up and leave to become farmers. I fortify the hill with Rebecca Black Templars, who are fearsome enough that none of you dare approach the hill. I sit on my throne on the hill (wearing earmuffs)

My hill

**Coolyo294**

I hire an army of deaf mercenaries to capture the hill. Then take your earmuffs and sit on the throne.

My hill with deaf mercenaries.

**Dr. Temujin**

Well, if they're deaf, they certainly won't hear my hired Ork Commandos sneaking up on them and slitting their throats.
Maybe smell them, but too late.
My hill. With purple orks.

**Decio**

Whoa. Purple. I nab a lone merchant vessel and warp it in above the hill. I force the captain to vertical strike your hill. He slams the ship into the hill and kills your eyes fro extreme brightness. I paint your Orks white, then drop down some Dark Eldar covered in white powder. They dance on top of you.

My hill. And Ork Kommandos. And Dark Eldar.

**snurl**

The white powder turns out to be a very illegal substance, and your troops succumb to its effects until a rainstorm washes the powder away.
Too hung over to fight, they go home and leave you defenceless as relentless Squats seize the hill in the name of the Pumpkin.

**Admiral Valerian**

I move my fleet into low orbit and unleash a devastating orbital bombardment with lances and weapons batteries. My hill.

**ENOZONE**

I suck the hill into the warp and claim it forever in the name of the Chaos Gods. My hill.

**Dr. Temujin**

Draigo, for some reason (CURSE YOU MATT WAAARRRD!!), finds the hill and flings it back into real space.
My Hill.

**Decio**

Draigo leaves for more Warp Dust.

In his absence, I build 40 billion Snow Golems and place them in guard towers.

My hill.

**Squigsquasher**

Summer comes, the snow golems melt. Then my enormous warband of Daemonettes comes and invades the hill, taking it over, and we all enjoy raunchy parties in the den I constructed on said hill.

My hill.

**Decio**

I weld metal plates over the den. You are trapped and suffocate to death from the combined body heat of you and your daemonettes.

My hill. I switch to Creative Mode and build a fortress of bedrock on the hill.

**snurl**

Fred Flintstone mistakes your bedrock for his hometown. Freds hill.

**Admiral Valerian**

My fleet returns and initiates an orbital strike. My hill.

**snurl**

The Empire Strikes Back.
My hill.

**Admiral Valerian**

I smash the tapes and DVDs. Still my hill.

**Decio**

The cops arrest you for vandalism. Your fleet is disbanded and forced to work in McDarrells for the rest of their lives.

I land on the hill and plant a industrial-sized Tank Tree. It grows tanks.

My hill.

**Admiral Valerian**

Imperial and Inquisition override. My fleet is reformed and I bomb you to hell. My hill.

**Decio**

I pay the devil the souls of a thousand of your Imperials and have him place a convenient Warp Storm in your toilet as you crouch to take a dump.

I re-emerge from hell and take the hill.

My hill.

**Dr. Temujin**

...for two seconds. As a hidden part of the deal, you are then banished to Foodcourtia for the rest of your years.
I drive my Leviathan Command Vehicle up...
My Hill.

**Admiral Valerian**

I relieve you of command with the help of an Inquisitor who was conveniently passing by. My hill.

**snurl**

I was in disguise as the Inquisitor. I merrily kick you off the top of my hill. Then I roll your Leviathan down after just to make sure.