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Made in nl
Stone Bonkers Fabricator General




We'll find out soon enough eh.

 Cruentus wrote:

His initial reaction when I told him of this thread was "Why are they discussing a kids book on Dakka? Its for kids." LoL


Did you explain that once he grows up, he'll find that he both becomes concerned how the quality of individual products from an IP he likes affects the quality of the whole IP, that just because things are for kids doesn't mean they shouldn't be of decent quality, and that generally just discussing things can be enjoyable in and of itself? Or is this less a "teachable moment" scenario and more a "oh no, yeah, my child totes said this thing that supports my argument in an extremely witty way..." situation?

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2019/04/10 00:38:01


I need to acquire plastic Skavenslaves, can you help?
I have a blog now, evidently. Featuring the Alternative Mordheim Model Megalist.

"Your society's broken, so who should we blame? Should we blame the rich, powerful people who caused it? No, lets blame the people with no power and no money and those immigrants who don't even have the vote. Yea, it must be their fething fault." - Iain M Banks
-----
"The language of modern British politics is meant to sound benign. But words do not mean what they seem to mean. 'Reform' actually means 'cut' or 'end'. 'Flexibility' really means 'exploit'. 'Prudence' really means 'don't invest'. And 'efficient'? That means whatever you want it to mean, usually 'cut'. All really mean 'keep wages low for the masses, taxes low for the rich, profits high for the corporations, and accept the decline in public services and amenities this will cause'." - Robin McAlpine from Common Weal 
   
Made in gb
Boosting Space Marine Biker





Scotland

The Woke child phenomenon comes to Dakka. It's the end times.

It's nice that kids enjoy these books, like I said before though. Must be a generation shift, as 9 is the age I was watching Terminator etc at. I can't help but feel parents giving their kids these books will be denying them that mildly traumatising upbringing!
   
Made in fr
Hallowed Canoness





 Yodhrin wrote:
Did you explain that once he grows up, he'll find that he both becomes concerned how the quality of individual products from an IP he likes affects the quality of the whole IP

Why would you want to force your kid into depression?
Don't tell your kid anything of the sort, Cruentus, please!

"Our fantasy settings are grim and dark, but that is not a reflection of who we are or how we feel the real world should be. [...] We will continue to diversify the cast of characters we portray [...] so everyone can find representation and heroes they can relate to. [...] If [you don't feel the same way], you will not be missed"
https://twitter.com/WarComTeam/status/1268665798467432449/photo/1 
   
Made in us
Willing Inquisitorial Excruciator





Philadelphia

 Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl wrote:
 Yodhrin wrote:
Did you explain that once he grows up, he'll find that he both becomes concerned how the quality of individual products from an IP he likes affects the quality of the whole IP

Why would you want to force your kid into depression?
Don't tell your kid anything of the sort, Cruentus, please!


No worries there

IP? He's 9. He knows what IP ia about, but he doesn't give a flying about "the quality of products". He likes what he likes and what GW offers (except prices ), so as far as he is concerned, its all good. And for a product aimed at exactly that audience, looks like it worked.

Legio Suturvora 2000 points (painted)
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Daemonhunters 1000 points (painted)
Flesh Tearers 2000+ points (painted) - Balt GT '02 52nd; Balt GT '05 16th
Kabal of the Tortured Soul 2000+ points (painted) - Balt GT '08 85th; Mechanicon '09 12th
Greenwing 1000 points (painted) - Adepticon Team Tourny 2013

"There is rational thought here. It's just swimming through a sea of stupid and is often concealed from view by the waves of irrational conclusions." - Railguns 
   
Made in fr
Hallowed Canoness





 Cruentus wrote:
He knows what IP ia about, but he doesn't give a flying about "the quality of products". He likes what he likes

I wish more adults had this maturity.
If two movies are coming out and one is a sequel to a movie you like but you don't like the movie itself, and the other is a new movie or a sequel to a movie you didn't like but you enjoy that movie, stop focusing on the bad movie and start focusing on the good movie people.
Less IP more stories!

"Our fantasy settings are grim and dark, but that is not a reflection of who we are or how we feel the real world should be. [...] We will continue to diversify the cast of characters we portray [...] so everyone can find representation and heroes they can relate to. [...] If [you don't feel the same way], you will not be missed"
https://twitter.com/WarComTeam/status/1268665798467432449/photo/1 
   
Made in us
Auspicious Aspiring Champion of Chaos






 Yodhrin wrote:
Did you explain that once he grows up, he'll find that he both becomes concerned how the quality of individual products from an IP he likes affects the quality of the whole IP, that just because things are for kids doesn't mean they shouldn't be of decent quality, and that generally just discussing things can be enjoyable in and of itself? Or is this less a "teachable moment" scenario and more a "oh no, yeah, my child totes said this thing that supports my argument in an extremely witty way..." situation?


I just tried explaining the important of maintaining IP integrity to my cousin's 9-year-old kid. He just said "Okay, Entyme" then ate a booger and went back to watching Spongebob reruns.

2000 Khorne Bloodbound (Skullfiend Tribe- Aqshy)
1000 Tzeentch Arcanites (Pyrofane Cult - Hysh) in progress
2000 Slaves to Darkness (Ravagers)
 
   
Made in fr
Hallowed Canoness





 EnTyme wrote:
I just tried explaining the important of maintaining IP integrity to my cousin's 9-year-old kid.

I'd call the social service on you for child abuse if that was not obviously said in jest .

"Our fantasy settings are grim and dark, but that is not a reflection of who we are or how we feel the real world should be. [...] We will continue to diversify the cast of characters we portray [...] so everyone can find representation and heroes they can relate to. [...] If [you don't feel the same way], you will not be missed"
https://twitter.com/WarComTeam/status/1268665798467432449/photo/1 
   
Made in us
Auspicious Aspiring Champion of Chaos






 Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl wrote:
 EnTyme wrote:
I just tried explaining the important of maintaining IP integrity to my cousin's 9-year-old kid.

I'd call the social service on you for child abuse if that was not obviously said in jest .


" . . . and that's why 'War Banner' and 'Warhammer' are too similar for both names to exist in the same ecosystem under current international copyright laws."

- Yodhrin reading his son a bedtime story, apparently

This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at 2019/04/10 15:06:27


2000 Khorne Bloodbound (Skullfiend Tribe- Aqshy)
1000 Tzeentch Arcanites (Pyrofane Cult - Hysh) in progress
2000 Slaves to Darkness (Ravagers)
 
   
Made in gb
Longtime Dakkanaut






 Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl wrote:
 Cruentus wrote:
He knows what IP ia about, but he doesn't give a flying about "the quality of products". He likes what he likes

I wish more adults had this maturity.

Whether some random nine year old likes a product has absolutely no bearing on the quality or otherwise of that product.

Plenty of people like Birdemic or The Room, but that doesn't make them good movies, for example.


I assume the 'quality doesn't matter if it's for children' line of reasoning wouldn't be expanded to children's food, or clothes, education or health services/products, so why should entertainment be exempt from criticism?

   
Made in gb
Longtime Dakkanaut






That's an interesting way to twist his words. If the kid enjoys it that should be good enough. It's up to them to decide the "quality" as they're the ones reading it.

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2019/04/10 18:13:37


 
   
Made in fr
Hallowed Canoness





 Lord Damocles wrote:
Whether some random nine year old likes a product has absolutely no bearing on the quality or otherwise of that product.

I only said it's good to care about specific stories rather than caring about “whole IPs”, not that those books were good.

Though that kid enjoyed those books so good for him, I'm not going to annoy him with reasons why he shouldn't have enjoyed them.

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2019/04/10 18:57:25


"Our fantasy settings are grim and dark, but that is not a reflection of who we are or how we feel the real world should be. [...] We will continue to diversify the cast of characters we portray [...] so everyone can find representation and heroes they can relate to. [...] If [you don't feel the same way], you will not be missed"
https://twitter.com/WarComTeam/status/1268665798467432449/photo/1 
   
Made in us
Tzeentch Aspiring Sorcerer Riding a Disc





Orem, Utah

 Cruentus wrote:

IP? He's 9. He knows what IP ia about, but he doesn't give a flying about "the quality of products". He likes what he likes...


In true geek fashion- don't ever let anyone convince him out of liking what he likes. That kid is clearly one of us.

 
   
Made in gb
Longtime Dakkanaut





 Lord Damocles wrote:
 Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl wrote:
 Cruentus wrote:
He knows what IP ia about, but he doesn't give a flying about "the quality of products". He likes what he likes

I wish more adults had this maturity.

Whether some random nine year old likes a product has absolutely no bearing on the quality or otherwise of that product.

Plenty of people like Birdemic or The Room, but that doesn't make them good movies, for example.


I assume the 'quality doesn't matter if it's for children' line of reasoning wouldn't be expanded to children's food, or clothes, education or health services/products, so why should entertainment be exempt from criticism?



I think most people like The Room, because it Isn’t good..


For me, if kids like it then it’s good enough for purpose.
I’ll read at some point and see what I think personally..
   
Made in fr
Hallowed Canoness





Oh hi Danny76.
What, you think The Room is bad?
You are tearing me apart, Danny76!!
Anyway how is your sax life?
Playing lots of saxophone?

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2019/04/10 22:56:42


"Our fantasy settings are grim and dark, but that is not a reflection of who we are or how we feel the real world should be. [...] We will continue to diversify the cast of characters we portray [...] so everyone can find representation and heroes they can relate to. [...] If [you don't feel the same way], you will not be missed"
https://twitter.com/WarComTeam/status/1268665798467432449/photo/1 
   
Made in gb
Longtime Dakkanaut





 Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl wrote:
Oh hi Danny76.
What, you think The Room is bad?
You are tearing me apart, Danny76!!
Anyway how is your sax life?
Playing lots of saxophone?


You’re my favourite customer
   
Made in gb
Longtime Dakkanaut






Spoilers for Claws of the Genestealer:

Spoiler:
Chapter 1
Our heroes have been stranded on the ice world for two weeks now, and we learn that rations are running low.

Talen is trying to hunt a bady ridge-boar. We get a brief reminder of what happened in the last book, before he fails to catch the boar in a net and chases it through the forest. He encounters an adult ridge-boar, and is forced to flee from it.

Talen falls into a hole, hurting his arm, and is unable to climb out. He tries to use the communicator which Fleapit has made for each member of the party to call for help but gets no response.

Chapter 2
Zelia is back at camp, and was worried about Talen going off to hunt alone (although doesn’t appear to have volunteered to go with him).
Zelia thinks to herself that Erasmus got them in to their current difficulties – which is not only not true, but he actually saved their lives more than once in the last book.

Mekki and Fleapit are friends now. They communicate by ’electronic telepathy’.

Zelia and Talen were becoming close, but he is moody because he doesn’t like being told what to do.

Fleapit boosts the comms signal and they make contact with Talen.
Fleapit produces a grapple hook make from a bolt rifle from his ’pocket universe’ containing backpack, and Zelia and Mekki set off to rescue Talen.

When they arrive at the hole they discover that Talen is not there, although his vox unit is. Zelia climbs down into the hole to look for him.

Chapter 3
Talen has been unconscious. He wakes up in a nest of human bones and straw. The monster which knocked him out can be heard sleeping nearby. He starts to sneak away.
Zelia arrives and makes noise and waves around a lume-rod. She identifies the monster as an infant ambul. It is wounded. She wakes it up with her light.

An adult ambul emerges from deeper within the cave and chases them out. Talen and Zelia backtrack to the hole Talen fell into and use the grapple to escape. Talen apparently thinks that having to put his arm around Zelia so that he isn’t killed by the ambul is humiliating.

The illustration on page 45 shows the grapple hooked on the edge of the hole, but the text says that it is attached to a nearby mushroom tree.

Chapter 4
The adult ambul is wounded too. The description says that it has a missing claw, but the illustration on page 45 didn’t show this as being the case.

Zelia Talen and Mekki return to their camp, and Zelia examines Talen’s injured arm. Her omniscope also works as a medi-scanner and a holographic projector.

Talen has dislocated his shoulder. The escape pod’s cogitator has a full medical database in it, which mekki uses to learn how to fix the dislocation.

A storm is closing in.

Chapter 5
Zelia fixes Talen’s shoulder.

All of the lights turn off and Mekki discovers that their power supplies will be dead within a day. He doesn’t know how to fix the problem, so they go to visit Fleapit in his tent.

Out in the storm, Mekki and Talen get into a fight because the plot has decided that Talen will act like a jerk.

They can’t wake Fleapit up. Mekki says that ’He is not dead, but he is not alive either’. The jokaero is in suspended animation. Mekki knew that he was struggling due to the cold weather, but apparently hadn’t thought to tell the others until now.

The children argue because the plot requires them to. Talen notes that Fleapit isn’t a great team player, since he didn’t tell them he was going into hibernation. Mekki says that he can keep the power on, and Talen points out that he just claimed that they needed Fleapit’s help for that. Mekki accuses Talen of wasting their rations to hunt the ridge-boar. Talen counters that he was trying to increase their supplies, and that the others weren’t helping at all. Zelia says that they can fight if they want to because she doesn’t care anymore; and then immediately says that they need to work together.
Talen storms off.

Everyone gets sad.
They have more of an emotional reaction to this argument than they did to the destruction of Targian in the previous book.

Chapter 6
Zelia wakes up from a nightmare about the Necron Deathmark.

Mekki is trying to fix the heater, but he can’t. He doesn’t understand Fleapit’s technology. He knows that Fleapit was trying to build something, but doesn’t know what.
Mekki gets angry and starts shouting in binary and pushes Zelia over before storming off into the storm.

Mekki stumbles about in the storm.
The sonic fence around the camp has failed.
He encounters a four-armed alien. He is being hypnotised when Zelia and Talen arrive. Mekki somehow manages to run away.

Chapter 7
The children hide inside their shelter. The alien starts attacking the door.

Using memory wafers containing a catalogue of everything which they found on their excavations, which Mekki has been carrying around, Zelia identifies the enemy as a genestealer (surprise!), based on a skeleton they once found on a temple ship.

The genestealer tears a hole in the wall.
Mekki realises that Fleapit was building an energy shield because Talen happens to say the word ‘shield’.
Zelia and Talen pull a pipe off the wall and start hitting the genestealer while Mekki and his servo-sprite complete the shield.

The force field activates and cuts off the genestealer’s arm.
They have 40 minutes of power left. The genestealer is stalking around outside. It looks at Talen and hypnotises him.

Chapter 8
Zelia stops the hypnosis by blocking the genestealer’s view to Talen. It attacks the forcefield before leaving.

Talen names the xenos Scarface because it has a scar on its face.

Mekki knows that Fleapit has been finding technology an scrap from an unknown source, but apparently hasn’t questioned it before now. They discover that Fleapit has put a block on the servo-sprite’s memory so that it can’t tell the children where he goes to scavenge.
If they can find the source of the technology they can recharge their power and keep the shield up.

Talen points out that they will need a weapon to face the genestealer, and Zelia concedes the point.

Then Scarface bursts up through the floor.

Chapter 9
They run outside and Mekki reverses the forcefield so that the alien is trapped inside, which doesn’t really make sense. Scarface attacks the forcefield through the hole in the wall rather than returning back along the underground tunnel.

Talen sees that his pouch containing his toy soldier is still inside the shelter. The genestealer notices his reaction and picks up the pouch to offer it to him. Zelia convinces Talen not to go back for it. Scarface gets angry and throws the pouch down.

Chapter 10
They need to wake up Fleapit to find out where the technology is before the power runs out in 20 minutes time.

Apparently Fleapit has a connection to the servo-sprite, so Mekki tries to ’use it to reach him’ (???)He sees the events of the previous book from Fleapit’s perspective. Then Fleapit breaks the connection.

Talen opts to hit fleapit with a wrench. The jokaero wakes up due to a ’defensive function built into his hibernation’.

Fleapit confirms that there is an old spaceship on the other side of the forest. He is too weak to get up, so Zelia and Mekki carry him.

Chapter 11
They find the ship buried in the forest. They lever open a hatch using a length of scrap metal as a crowbar (nice and secure external airlock...)
Scarface is coming.
Fleapit recovers consciousness just in time to climb down the ladder into the ship.

Chapter 12
Zelia closes the hatch just as Scarface reaches her.

Fleapit goes back into hibernation.

Mekki can interface with a cogitator to turn the lights in the ship on. He claims that if they can reach the enginarium they may be able to take off or use the comms to contact the Scriptor. Scarface won’t be able to get in because the hull is made of reinforced ceramite. Why the hull would be made of ceramite isn’t clear.

Zelia explains that the engines will be at the back of the ship, and the refectory will be in the middle. How do they know which way the front and the back of the ship are from their current location? It’s a book for children – who cares?!

They split up and Talen goes off alone to find food. Talen and Mekki make up and are friends again because reasons.

Scarface cuts its way into the ship through the sealed hatch.

Chapter 13
Talen is exploring when Scarface finds him. He outruns the genestealer and locks a door behind him.

Zelia and Mekki find the engines. Mekki plugs into a cogitator and gets the power back online. Easy peasy!

Chapter 14
Talen climbs into a ventilation shaft but Scarface follows him.
The ship is becoming hot already and the ice inside is melting.

Talen drops down into an armoury and finds a grav pistol.
He tries to shoot Scarface twice but nothing happens. Scarface leaps at him. While the xenos is in the air, Talen notices a switch on the gun, flicks it, and fire again. He hits Scarface with a bolt of energy which pins the genestealer to the floor.

The armoury door requires a passcode to exit the room (the absurdity of this is even lampshaded by Talen). The ship can apparently detect unauthorised use of weapons.

The superstructure of the ship is interfering with their vox units. Zelia uses the ship’s comms to contact Talen. Mekki opens the armoury and then locks the genestealer inside once Talen is out.

Chapter 15
Mekki accesses the ships log and learns that there were loads of genestealers aboard, and that’s why it crashed.

Talen stumbles upon a nest of hibernating genestealers encased in ice. And the ice is melting!

Chapter 16
Talen tells Zelia and Mekki to escape the ship without him. He runs from the genestealers, and bumps into Scarface, but it is still affected by the grav beam and he can just run past. The other genestealers charge past, ’mowing it down with their claws’.

Talen outruns the genestealers for a bit before coming to a dead end at a locked door.

The illustration on page 174 shows Talen running with the lume-rod which the text says he has already lost.

Chapter 17
Talen is hypnotised again; but just as he is about to get a facefull of ovipositor Fleapit pulls him up into a vent, takes the pistol, and shoots the genestealers.

Mekki finds a map of the ship in the cogitator. He uploads it to Zelia’s omniscope (somehow?). The resultant holographic map shows their location, Talen, and a path to reach him. The omniscope can also detect nearby lifeforms and adds them to the map.

Zelia and Mekki meet up with Talen and Fleapit. Mekki can use his wrist-screen to add markers to the holographic map projected by Zelia’s omniscope.

They all outrun the genestealers again and get to an airlock which leads to the caves under the forest. The airlock is stuck but Fleapit just pulls it off its hinges. Zelia shoots the roof of the cave as they flee, causing it to collapse behind them.

Chapter 18
They run back to the ambul den, where they meet the adult ambul again. Talen tries to shoot it but the grav gun is out of power.
Then Scarface appears again, blocking the exit.
Scarface and the ambul fight.

Our heroes flee back to the hole which Talen fell into earlier. They can’t climb out, but Fleapit reconfigures the grav pistol so that it projects an anti-grav field (obviously not requiring power..?) which makes the group lighter than air, and they float up out of the hole!
They all jump out of the anti-grav bubble onto a mushroom tree, and the weapon keeps flying upwards, off to have its own adventures.

They are about to start climbing down the tree when a spaceship appears above them. It lands and a figure ([Rogue Trader] Captain Harleen Amity) steps down the access ramp to meet them.

The end.


So this whole plot rests upon
Spoiler:
Flegan-Pala not revealing to the rest of the group that he had found a semi-functioning spacecraft within walking distance of their camp.

Why is he even bothering with the distress beacon an eleven year old helped him build, and having to go into hibernation somewhere he'll almost certainly freeze to death, when there is a secure shelter with heating, lights, likely provisions, weapons, powerful comms equipment etc.?
Ok, it turns out to be infested with genestealers, but there is an armoury full of guns which could be used against them.

Why doesn't Flegan-Pala warn Mekki that he's going into suspended animation? Is he unaware that the rations and power are about to run out which will almost certainly lead to the deaths of the children and failure of the sonic fence and heating in the camp?

Why doesn't Flegan-Pala spend a couple of seconds to finish the energy shield before taking his nap? or at least communicate what it is he's building to the techpriest?

Why couldn't Flegan-Pala have given a weapon to Talen, so that he could hunt effectively? The Galactic Compendium at the back of the book even talks about jokaero digital weapons. How much of the plot couldn't have been solved by one of the characters involved having a weapon?



I particularly liked that the quote from David Tennant on the back cover is the same exact one which was used for Attack of the Necron.

This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at 2020/01/05 13:54:14


 
   
Made in gb
Longtime Dakkanaut







I know that Genestealers are intelligent...but since when are
Spoiler:
hypnosis and feinging friendship
anything even slighly close to how they behave?
   
Made in gb
Mighty Vampire Count






UK

 Mentlegen324 wrote:


I know that Genestealers are intelligent...but since when are
Spoiler:
hypnosis and feinging friendship
anything even slighly close to how they behave?


Spoiler:
Hypnosis has always been somethng they did - especially in the earlier fluff often implanted victims could not remember that what happened to them - the better to spread the seed.

I AM A MARINE PLAYER

"Unimaginably ancient xenos artefact somewhere on the planet, hive fleet poised above our heads, hidden 'stealer broods making an early start....and now a bloody Chaos cult crawling out of the woodwork just in case we were bored. Welcome to my world, Ciaphas."
Inquisitor Amberley Vail, Ordo Xenos

"I will admit that some Primachs like Russ or Horus could have a chance against an unarmed 12 year old novice but, a full Battle Sister??!! One to one? In close combat? Perhaps three Primarchs fighting together... but just one Primarch?" da001

www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/528517.page

A Bloody Road - my Warhammer Fantasy Fiction 
   
Made in de
Huge Bone Giant








Thanks for the link. I got a good laugh out of that last
Spoiler:
grav pistol
line.

Nehekhara lives! Sort of!
Why is the rum always gone? 
   
Made in us
Ambitious Acothyst With Agonizer




Boston, MA

 Gael Knight wrote:
I can't help but feel parents giving their kids these books will be denying them that mildly traumatising upbringing!


Just think of the stuff that kids can find/stumble across online though. I think the "scary" movies from our childhoods before the internet sort of pale in comparison.

Kabal of the Slit Throat ~2000pts
Elect of the Plaguefather 4500pts

 
   
Made in us
Fixture of Dakka






If the kids get into 40k, then the books have done their job. I personally think the writing is pedestrian, and weak, but if a kid likes it, ( Or anyone else for that matter, ) I can't give you any static over it. The real question- The kids and character FIGURES!!! WHERE ARE THEY????



At Games Workshop, we believe that how you behave does matter. We believe this so strongly that we have written it down in the Games Workshop Book. There is a section in the book where we talk about the values we expect all staff to demonstrate in their working lives. These values are Lawyers, Guns and Money. 
   
Made in gb
Longtime Dakkanaut





 Mr Morden wrote:
 Mentlegen324 wrote:


I know that Genestealers are intelligent...but since when are
Spoiler:
hypnosis and feinging friendship
anything even slighly close to how they behave?


Spoiler:
Hypnosis has always been somethng they did - especially in the earlier fluff often implanted victims could not remember that what happened to them - the better to spread the seed.


I remember the part about them forgetting being in at least one novel I've read, but i really don't recall anything being said to be that style specifically! Must have just missed it somehow then.

Spoiler:
I'd have assumed forgetting would be due to something being injected or potentially due to changes starting to take place, typical cartoon-style hypnosis via gaze seems far more absurd and silly.

This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at 2019/05/26 21:12:38


 
   
Made in us
Regular Dakkanaut





 Grot 6 wrote:
If the kids get into 40k, then the books have done their job. I personally think the writing is pedestrian, and weak, but if a kid likes it, ( Or anyone else for that matter, ) I can't give you any static over it. The real question- The kids and character FIGURES!!! WHERE ARE THEY????


I am hoping that they will be made after the completion of these books

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2019/05/27 13:52:36


 
   
Made in gb
Longtime Dakkanaut






Spoilers for Secrets of the Tau. It's a good 'un:

Spoiler:
Ever wonder whether an eleven year old child can pilot an XV-85 Enforcer battlesuit? Well buckle in!

Chapter 1
The children board Amity’s ship.
Talen rolls a barrel of promethium down the boarding ramp like he’s Donkey Kong, squashing a genestealer.

They fly up into space.

Amity’s entire crew consists of literally a single servitor, named Grunt. Her ship, the Profiteer, is a warp-capable craft which is barely Thunderhawk-sized.

Talen appears to have forgotten his fear of flying from Attack of the Necron.

We learn from Zelia that servitors being made from actual people, as opposed to being vat grown, is just a rumour. It’s not like that sort of thing would be common knowledge or anything. Jeeze.

Amity has a holographic map of the Entire Imperium. We learn that Targian was in Segmentum Pacificus. The ice planet (which has no name) is in Ultima Segmentum. When pondering how they got from one to the other, Amity states, ‘That’s not how the warp works’. I know, right, that’s what I said too!
Amity also has a list of (all?) Imperial worlds. The Emperor’s Seat isn’t on it.

Zelia asks Amity to help them find her mother at the Emperor’s Seat.
Amity says that she already has a mission and requests payment for saving them.
When Zelia says that they have nothing, Amity asks for Fleapit. The jokaero snarls at her and she just immediately abandons the idea.
Amity offers to drop them off at the nearest planet.
Zelia offers to pay her for her help (with what, Zelia?!) She offers her omniscope. Amity refuses.
Then Zelia offers her Erasmus’ old job. Amity refuses.
Zelia says that they really need help; and so Amity agrees for no apparent reason.
Huh?

Chapter 2
Amity knows a map seller named Milon Karter who might know about the Emperor’s Seat.

They go to Hinterland Outpost, which is a space station built into an asteroid. Think the Mos Eisley cantina. Or Canto Bight, for the audience this book is aimed at *shudder*.

Talen encounters a beastman, and calls him a goat directly to his face.
In fairness, the following exchange between Talen and Zelia is actually almost legitimately comical.

Mekki sees some guys in golden exo-suits unloading cargo. They’re cleaner and sleeker than Imperial tech. I wonder where they might be from...

A kroot steals Zelia’s omniscope. The children chase it into a market. Talen goes off after it alone

Chapter 3
Talen chases the kroot down an alley.

He steals a bolas from a weapon stall he passes by. The irony of him stealing in order to catch a thief is lampshaded. ‘...the difference here was that the feathered freak had stolen something from one of his friends’ – oh, okay, that’s fine then (?)

Apparently Talen’s father taught him to use a bolas. Seems legit.

He trips up the kroot and retrieves the onmiscope. Then he gets knocked out.

Chapter 4
The kroot - named Korok – had hit Talen with the bolas (I guess Talen was so focussed on the omniscope that he just didn’t notice the kroot get back up?).

Talen gets thrown around a bit into some market stalls. Just as he’s about to have his skull caved in by the alien, Fleapit saves him.

Zelia arrives on the scene.

Korok gets the upper hand, but is shot by a man who introduces himself as Karter. What a coincidence that the very person they came here to find found them within minutes of their arrival!

Karter shoots Korok a second time in the shoulder and tells him to get lost. He describes Fleapit as a ‘prized specimen’, prompting Zelia to explain that he’s their friend. Karter states that there are many who would not take kindly to the suggestion that humans and xenos can be friends.

Mekki and Amity arrive.

Karter jokes about Amity employing children as her crew – although this is precisely what Elise actually does! – Zelia claims that they have hired Amity to work for them. Because Zelia is a liar.

Chapter 5
They all go to Karter’s shop.

Zelia ponders whether all aliens are baddies as the Imperial Creed teaches. She concedes to herself that Elise’s policy on avoiding violence is impractical when every alien they’re encountered besides Flegan-Pala has been trying to murder them to death.

We learn that Talen kept the stolen bolas!

During some back-and-forth dialogue, we learn that both Amity and Karter know about Necrons Because everyone except the Sisters of Battle at Sanctuary 101 do apparently and that something happened to Amity’s former crew.
Zelia explains that they’re looking for the Emperor’s Seat. Karter knows where it is (!) for the right price. There are actually three possible locations.
Mekki offers him Elise’s catalogue of archaeological finds. Karter refuses – instead he wants Fleapit.
Zelia declines and they leave.

Chapter 6
Amity says that they can try something else. Zelia is sassy and demands to know what Karter meant about bad things happening to Amity’s friends.
Amity reminds the children that she isn’t being paid for her help, and tells them to wait in the market and stop being brats, while she goes to talk to a hetelfish seller.

Zelia is afraid because they are so vulnerable.

Talen and Zelia argue when he criticises her for antagonising Amity. Fleapit tries to intervene, but Talen calls him a ‘stinking alien’.

Then Talen freaks out and picks a fight with a female Tau (how do they know she’s female? Who knows) and her bodyguards who are just minding their own business nearby. Talen goes off on a full-on Monodominant rant and storms off alone.

Mekki sends his servo sprite (which he has named Meshwing, and is now female apparently) to watch over Talen while they go back to the Profiteer.

Chapter 7
Several hours later.
Zelia wants to know about Amity’s crew. Mekki tries to hack into her cogitator, but is unable to. Finally somebody has password protected their technology so Mekki can’t just hack it!

Zelia reads up about the Tau. She doesn’t know what to think of them. She apparently didn’t think that the female in the market looked threatening, despite the armed bodyguards, and her specifically thinking at the time that Talen was in danger.

Mekki has lost contact with Meshwing.

Amity and Talen return. But where is Fleapit? Talen has the location(s) of the Emperor’s Seat(s).
He sold Fleapit to Karter!

But oh noes! Fleapit still has the Diadem! *Facepalm*

Amity is concerned that the Necrons will come to Hinterland to reclaim it. She thinks that they need to destroy the Diadem. Zelia protests that she promised to take it to her mother (no she didn’t). Zelia convinces Amity to let her try to get the Diadem back without resorting to violence. Amity gives her one hour before she goes in all guns blazing. For some reason.

Talen has disappeared again.

Chapter 8
Inquisitor Jeremias of the Ordo Xenos is on the ice planet, exploring the childrens’ abandoned camp. He finds claw marks in the shelter made by Scarface, identifies them as genestealer, and immediately instructs his servo skull Corlac to send a report (where?) calling for Exterminatus!

Jeremias finds Talen’s model soldier toy and uses magic to see Talen’s memories. Then he sets off to find the children.
I guess Talen’s memories from after he lost the soldier are somehow still imprinted onto it..?

Chapter 9
It is now night time on Hinterland.
Zelia and Mekki head back through the market. They encounter some stranger danger, but know not to talk to strange men.

They meet Meshwing, who leads them back to Karter’s shop. It is unlocked. There are anti-grav candles lighting it.

They enter the stock room. A Tau drone appears and tells them, ‘Halt! / Trespassers will be disintegrated’.
It tries to shoot them with a laser, but Zelia throws some parchments over it to confuse it.

Karter returns.

Zelia says that they want Fleapit back because he’s their friend.
Karter says that’s heresy.
Zelia says the drone is heresy.
Mekki says that his servo sprite is different to the drone because it is not sentient. (Isn’t it? They do seem pretty heretical).
Zelia says that they’ll report Karter to station Master Vetone.
Karter points out that they’re guilty of trespass, vandalism, and are would-be thieves. Then he kicks them out.

Meshwing is still hiding inside the shop. Zelia and Mekki plan to wait until Karter leaves and then get back in and steal Fleapit. Mekki says that he will search Elise’s notes for a way to deactivate the drone.

Chapter 10
Zelia and Mekki get back to the Profiteer, but they are locked out.

Korok, another kroot with a kroot hound, the beastman, and a ganger with an exo-suit appear and menace them. Korok wants the omniscope back.

Zelia and Mekki split up and run away. Korok’s staff doubles as a gun (which doesn’t match the illustration of the weapon on page 110).

Amity appears and blinds the attackers with a flash grenade. Then she and Grunt incapacitate them. She says that they won’t have to worry about them anymore; but the kroot is only unconscious and the beastman and hound ran off. Maybe Korok is dead..?

Mekki explains that Zelia doesn’t use guns (isn’t this the default position for twelve year olds anyway? I know 40K is grimdark, but come on). Amity says that she needs a lesson in self defence.

They go to the Profiteer’s armoury. Amity gives Zelia three flash grenades. The text says that Zelia puts them in a pouch on her bandolier, but the illustration on page 118 shows the weapon to be almost as large as Zelia’s head, so I don’t think that is going to work.

Mekki selects a shock-prod. He almost lets slip that he used weapons before he met Elise, while he was escaping from Mars.

Amity goes off to attend to some business, leaving Grunt to guard the children.
Mekki can’t find any information on abominable intelligence, but Zelia doesn’t mind because now the servitor will protect them from Karter’s drone.
They head back to Karter’s shop.

Chapter 11
The text says that the streets are deserted now, but the illustration on page 127 shows crowds of people.

The shop is empty. They break in and are searching for Fleapit when somebody else also breaks in! They’re ready for a fight, but it turns out to be Amity (duh. She said that she was coming earlier). Zelia asks what she’s doing there (duh. Stealing the monkey back).

They open a Fleapit-sized barrel in the stock room using Amity’s sonic-pick. But it isn’t Fleapit inside!

Chapter 12
The barrel contains a tentacle monster. Mekki electrocutes it with his shock-prod.

Karter and the drone show up.

Chapter 13
Karter explains that the monster is a kraken hatchling (!) He needs to administer a sedative before it recovers from being electrocuted. The drone just happens to have a syringe loaded and ready to go, but Amity smashes it.

Amity blackmails Karter – the location of Fleapit, or she will tell the Inquisition about his trade in xenos hentai beasts. He’s about to tell them who he has sold Fleapit to when the kraken eats him and crushes the drone.

Amity, Zelia, and Mekki flee, leaving Grunt for dead.

The kraken rapidly grows huge and smashes out of the shop. It is about to kill everyone when three Crisis suits appear and blast it apart. Then the Tau take the group prisoner.

Chapter 14
The Tau take them up into a tower. There are lots more battlesuits and drones in a hallway.

The female Tau from the market is sitting on a hover throne. Fleapit is in a cage.

The Tau introduces herself as Por-Vre Tolku Paxis, aka ‘Madame Lightbringer’. She explains that she is selling Tau technology to the highest bidder, and was using the drone to spy on Karter. She sent the battlesuits to capture them because Amity threatened to call the Inquisition on Karter.

Lightbringer then orders them to be thrown out of an airlock.
Just before they are about to die in the cold vacuum of space, Grunt bursts through the door!

Grunt is wielding a severed kraken tentacle. He uses it to knock off the helmets of all three battlesuits in a single swing.
Zelia sees the faces of the three Tau bodyguards from the market beneath (never mind that the battlesuit pilots’ heads would be in the chest and not beneath the head/helmet).

Drones swoop down from the ceiling and attack.

Then a larger battlesuit (by the illustration, an XV-85 Enforcer) armed with burst cannons comes alive and incapacitates the three Tau warriors and shoots down the drones. Talen is piloting it!

Chapter 15
Talen can’t control the suit fully, and is firing wildly.

Zelia orders Amity to give her her gun – and she does for some reason! Zelia shoots the chain holding Fleapit’s cage in only two shots (not bad for somebody who has never fired a gun before). Fleapit jumps onto Talen’s back and starts pulling out handfuls of cables.

The other battlesuits from the hallway activate and attack. They are automated and have no pilots!

Amity and Zelia seal the doors so that they can’t get in.

Talen gets out of the battlesuit.
He explains that he followed Karter to Lightbringer when he came to sell Fleapit, and has been waiting for a chance to rescue the jokaero. Selling Fleapit for the information they needed from Karter was Fleapit’s idea all along (how he communicated this is left up to our imagination).

Lightbringer has escaped so there must be another way out of the room.
The doors are about to give way.

Mekki gets in the Enforcer suit. ‘There is no way a human could pilot a battlesuit correctly’ he says. Before piloting the battlesuit.

Again there is a description of the helmet being put over Mekki’s head – but the illustration on page 175 even shows Mekki’s head in the battlesuit’s chest area.

The automated battlesuits break into the room. Mekki’s guns are more powerful for some reason and he is beating them.

Burst cannons fire crimson bolts now, apparently.

Then Lightbringer re-appears and holds a knife to Fleapit’s throat, ordering everyone to stop shooting or she’ll shank a fool.

Then Amity reveals that she has a ring on with a vox unit hidden in it. She was contracted by the Ethereals of Dal’yth to find out who had been selling Tau secrets. Plot twist!

At that very moment a Tau fleet begins attacking Hinterland, highjacking every vox caster on the station to declare that it is now under the control of the Tau Empire.

Lightbringer starts to run away. Amity tries to shoot her down, but her beamer’s power pack is flat. Talen brings her down with his bolas. They put her in Fleapit’s cage.

Chapter 16
Hinterland surrenders to the Tau, and the occupation is in full swing by the time the group arrive back in the market.

A Fire Warrior is confiscating a whole stack of barrels like those the kraken came out of from somebody. This is an actual line from the book: ‘The Tau had no right to seize other people’s property’. HA!

The Dal’yth leader, Commander Firebrand, is wearing green armour. Sept colour is blue, but whatever, carry on.
Once Amity hands Lightbringer over to him, he offers them the choice of either remaining on Hinterland as prisoners or being killed, in order to cover up the dishonour brought about by Lightbringer’s crimes.

Zelia sets off a flash grenade and they all run away.

MEKKI IS STILL IN THE BATTLESUIT, BY THE WAY

Mekki knocks over the pile of barrels, and loads of kraken attack the Tau.

Zelia rouses the people of Hinterland to join the fight to re-take the station and the fightback begins.

They get aboard the Profiteer and take off – but the Tau fleet is blocking their escape.

Mekki patches Amity’s Tau ring into the Profiteer’s vox network and uses it to broadcast all of the information in his databanks at once.
For some reason this causes the speakers and video displays aboard the Tau cruiser to go haywire, and the signal blocks every communication frequency.

The Profiteer uses the confusion to escape.

Once the Tau ship re-establishes contact with Firebrand, he orders them to open fire on Hinterland, before being eaten by a kraken.
However the transmission has overloaded the circuits of the Tau ship, and it is unable to fire.
Hinterland fires on the Tau ship with its defences, presumably destroying it.

Station Master Vetone declares victory over the Tau on the vox network.

Phew! Got pretty wild there, huh?

Mekki and Fleapit get to work on the XV-85, while Talen talks to Amity.
Zelia ponders on how little she actually knows about her friends.

Amity refers to Zelia as ‘my lady’, and says that she’ll stick with them (I guess she also bought into Zelia’s claim that she worked for the child..?)

Amity is described here as having a pierced eyebrow – none of the illustrations of the character throughout the book show this feature.

Talen is about to tell the group what Karter told him about the Emperor’s Seat when...

The end.


David Tenant isn’t quoted as saying that this one is ‘A fantastic science fiction adventure’ on the back cover, so take that for what it’s worth.

Again a lot of plot happens because
Spoiler:

For no apparent reason the characters don’t tell each other things and make terrible decisions.
If Talen had told Zelia that Fleapit was in on the plan to be sold to Karter, a whole lot of trouble could have been avoided.

If Fleapit had stayed aboard the Scriptor when they arrived at Hinterland, none of the trouble with Karter or Lightbringer would have been necessary.

Then again, if she didn’t stumble upon the children, if they didn’t sell the jokaero to Karter, if they didn’t need to rescue Fleapit and recover the Diadem leading to the release of the kraken, and if they hadn’t then been captured by the Tau, how was Amity intending to find Lightbringer anyway?
Was the whole plot her game of 4D chess?


Also
Spoiler:

What is up with all of the theft going on in these books?
These little delinquents are kleptomaniacs!

This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at 2020/01/05 13:59:07


 
   
Made in gb
Decrepit Dakkanaut




UK



"What is up with all of the theft going on in these books?
These little delinquents are kleptomaniacs!"

You've managed to avoid almost every RPG game right? The FIRST rule of adventuring is to STEAL EVERYTHING that isn't bolted down*! If you can carry it you steal it! Coins, gemstones, rubbish bits of armour. Anything you can lay your hands on you steal!

*this assumes that you try to steal the thing they are bolted onto if at all possible!

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We'll find out soon enough eh.

Yup, steal everything. Coins, gemstones, niknaks, erm...functional Battlesuits?

Derp upon derp - I'd be afraid any kid I gave these to would think I was insulting their intelligence.

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I have a blog now, evidently. Featuring the Alternative Mordheim Model Megalist.

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-----
"The language of modern British politics is meant to sound benign. But words do not mean what they seem to mean. 'Reform' actually means 'cut' or 'end'. 'Flexibility' really means 'exploit'. 'Prudence' really means 'don't invest'. And 'efficient'? That means whatever you want it to mean, usually 'cut'. All really mean 'keep wages low for the masses, taxes low for the rich, profits high for the corporations, and accept the decline in public services and amenities this will cause'." - Robin McAlpine from Common Weal 
   
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Member of the Ethereal Council






So ummm
Battlesuits are genelocked........did they not tell the writer.
Also, I guess tau suits are automated now, makes me wonder why they need pilots.
God, GW really is ruining its fluff aint it?

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Seneca Nation of Indians

well, as was pointed out earlier, 40k isn't actually kid friendly so GW having to take a gak on it's own lore was to be expected.


Fate is in heaven, armor is on the chest, accomplishment is in the feet. - Nagao Kagetora
 
   
Made in gb
Decrepit Dakkanaut




UK

It's not so much taking a gak as it is just modifying it for a differing reading audience. It's the same as most kids productions for most things. They simplify some concepts and leave others out - otherwise these kids would have been dead within a few moments of stating their adventures.

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Another write-up I thoroughly enjoyed. Thank you.

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