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I don't see why it couldn't, honestly.
Though I would also strongly consider looking at the Dark Angels specific powers as some of them, if used correctly, are cagey as hell and a lot of fun.
I also would recommend going ahead and taking a pair of Mastery Level 2 Librarians as your HQ choices, and consider putting one, or both of them, in a single command squad. Give your command squad storm shields and whatever other weapons you want so that your Librarians can defer to 3+ armor, 3+ Invulnerable saves on their squad thanks to Look Out Sir! rolls. It does add points to your list, but it makes the squad a lot more survivable when you pile out of the drop pod and then have to take return fire after you've cast your psychic powers and shot.
Just offering some thoughts on that end. Take it easy and best of luck.
-Red__Thirst-
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