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If only there was some way to make Tau better at Close combat...

i dont know if this is the place to put this but ohwell
it 40k and humoures so i thinks its okay
i was at a campaign and in this on battle this one guy rolled nothing but ones for an entire turn

lol

As a person who's done that, it's funny to everyone but you.

i found out today that he still won
ork>tau

If he used a green tide it explains everything.
I know this as a tau player

because tau suck Ork BALLS

MMMMMMM ork balls ugggghhhh [drools]

ahhhhh rapist

he deep striked with about 20 stormboyz and one boss right into the middle of the taus base

"My Lord, I bring news."
Typhus Marburg paused in his study of the situation map of the dreary little planet his forces were engaged in ravaging. "Yes?"
"Lord. Starships have appeared in the outer system and are on course for a landing. They have been identified as elements of the Flesh Tearers."
"Yeah? Tell them to sod off and find their own world. Tell 'em we got here first."
"Sire, you misunderstand. They are here to defend this world!"
"What! Why? It's a sorry state of affairs when the followers of Chaos start to defend the weakling Imperium from each other!"
"Um, Lord... the Flesh Tearers are a loyalist chapter."
"They are? With a name like that! Are you sure they're not one of ours?"
"Positive, My Lord."
"Have you been able to call for any assistance?"
"The Astropaths have contacted other forces nearby. Unfortunately this has also alerted other loyalist forces in the sector and they are also headed our way."
"Bugger. So who gets here first then?"
"The Alpha Legion, sire."
"It never rains, it only pours, hey?"
"Umm..."
"What!"
"The Alpha Legion is one of ours."
"It is?!"
"Yes."
"I'm confused. You're telling me that a mob called the 'Flesh Tearers' isn't one of ours but a mob called the - what was it again..."
"The Alpha Legion, sire."
"Right... a mob called the Alpha Legion is one of ours."
"That is correct, sire."
"So who else is showing up to this barney then?"
"The Blood Drinkers."
"One of ours?"
"One of theirs."
"OK."
"The Iron Warriors."
"One of theirs?"
"No. One of ours."
"Go figure."
"The Dark Angels."
"Now I've heard of them. Followers of Slaanesh aren't they?"
"No, I think you're thinking of The Fallen, sire. The Dark Angels are Loyalists too."
"Bugger. So who else then?"
"The Emperor's Children."
"Oh, that one's too easy. They're obviously loyalists with a name like that."
"Um, not exactly my Lord."
"Really?"
"Yes, Lord. They're one of ours too."
"This is silly. All the really evil sounding names are being used by weakling loyalists while it seems as though the forces of chaos have got the naff monikers. Are there any more of these I should know about?"
"A few, Lord."
"OK then, spell it out for me, starting with Loyalists that sound like traitors and then moving onto traitors that sound like Loyalists."
"I will attempt to do so, Lord. OK - the Loyalists that sound like traitors... the Marauders, Rampagers, Destroyers and Storm Lords (all White Scar second foundings in point of fact)."
"I like the sound of the Storm Lords. You sure they aren't one of ours?"
"Quite sure. Then there's the Blood Drinkers and the Flesh Tearers - both of which are Loyalist second founding of the Blood Angels."
"With names like that I'd always assumed they were more bone headed followers of the blood god."
"Not so far, My Lord. Then there's the Red Talons..."
"I thought they were renegade pirates."
"No Lord, that's the Red Corsairs."
"Oh. OK. Continue."
"The Brazen Claws are loyalists too."
"Good name for a Khornate force though isn't it?"
"Yes Lord. Then there's the Black Guard (not to be confused with the Black Legion which IS one of ours), the Revilers, and the Raptors."
"Hold on a minute! The Raptors? They're definitely ours. Hell we've got a small unit of them attached to our forces haven't we?"
"My Lord, those are the troops known as Raptors but there is also a loyalist legion with the same name."
"Must get a bit confusing for the loyalists then?"
"I imagine so, My Lord. There are also the Doom Eagles, the Silver Skulls, and the Iron Hands (not to be mistaken for the Iron Warriors, who are ours)."
"Bloody hell. Is that it?"
"There are also some lesser known chapters that also seem to cause occasional confusion."
"Such as..."
"The Doomfarers are one that our forces have occasionally encountered."
"Oh yeah. Those yoyos. So what about the Chaos forces that sound like loyalists then..."
"Well as mentioned earlier there are The Emperor's Children, The Iron
Warriors, the Thousand Sons, the Lunar Wolves (who changed their name to the Sons of Horus and then to the Black Legion)..."
"Well at least they're easily IDed as one of ours now. The Black Legion eh? Now that's a proper name. Just postively oozes evil from every pore."
"Yes, Lord. To continue, there are also the Word Bearers, and the Alpha Legion."
"The Word Bearers? What kind of silly name is that for a Chaos Legion?"
"They used to be missionarys sire"
"We you'd think that once they switched to our side they'd change their name to something a little more in keeping with being evil mad men. I mean come on 'The Word Bearers'? It's a silly name."
"Yes my Lord"
"You know, I think the forces of Chaos should have proper Chaos names. There's no room for mistakes when you're called something like 'The World Eaters' or 'The Death Guard'..."
"Actually Lord, both those chapters had those names when they were loyalists."
"You're kidding."
"No, My Lord."
"Yeesh. I would have thought names like that would be a bit scary for the average imperial citizen. I mean "Yay we're being rescued by the World Eaters" just doesn't sound credible while "Aargh! Flee! It's the World Eaters" seems much more likely."
"Yes, My Lord. I believe the latter is more likely these days anyway."
"Makes no bloody sense at all."
"Yes, My Lord."
"Kill 'em all and let the Chaos Gods sort 'em out I say."
"Sounds like a completely reasonable approach to me, My Lord..."

Is this going to become a graphic novel anytime soon?

k found these thanks to the guy who has his signature on it.

I like it!

Vargtass wrote:"My Lord, I bring news."
Typhus Marburg paused in his study of the situation map of the dreary little planet his forces were engaged in ravaging. "Yes?"
"Lord. Starships have appeared in the outer system and are on course for a landing. They have been identified as elements of the Flesh Tearers."
"Yeah? Tell them to sod off and find their own world. Tell 'em we got here first."
"Sire, you misunderstand. They are here to defend this world!"
"What! Why? It's a sorry state of affairs when the followers of Chaos start to defend the weakling Imperium from each other!"
"Um, Lord... the Flesh Tearers are a loyalist chapter."
"They are? With a name like that! Are you sure they're not one of ours?"
"Positive, My Lord."
"Have you been able to call for any assistance?"
"The Astropaths have contacted other forces nearby. Unfortunately this has also alerted other loyalist forces in the sector and they are also headed our way."
"Bugger. So who gets here first then?"
"The Alpha Legion, sire."
"It never rains, it only pours, hey?"
"Umm..."
"What!"
"The Alpha Legion is one of ours."
"It is?!"
"Yes."
"I'm confused. You're telling me that a mob called the 'Flesh Tearers' isn't one of ours but a mob called the - what was it again..."
"The Alpha Legion, sire."
"Right... a mob called the Alpha Legion is one of ours."
"That is correct, sire."
"So who else is showing up to this barney then?"
"The Blood Drinkers."
"One of ours?"
"One of theirs."
"OK."
"The Iron Warriors."
"One of theirs?"
"No. One of ours."
"Go figure."
"The Dark Angels."
"Now I've heard of them. Followers of Slaanesh aren't they?"
"No, I think you're thinking of The Fallen, sire. The Dark Angels are Loyalists too."
"Bugger. So who else then?"
"The Emperor's Children."
"Oh, that one's too easy. They're obviously loyalists with a name like that."
"Um, not exactly my Lord."
"Really?"
"Yes, Lord. They're one of ours too."
"This is silly. All the really evil sounding names are being used by weakling loyalists while it seems as though the forces of chaos have got the naff monikers. Are there any more of these I should know about?"
"A few, Lord."
"OK then, spell it out for me, starting with Loyalists that sound like traitors and then moving onto traitors that sound like Loyalists."
"I will attempt to do so, Lord. OK - the Loyalists that sound like traitors... the Marauders, Rampagers, Destroyers and Storm Lords (all White Scar second foundings in point of fact)."
"I like the sound of the Storm Lords. You sure they aren't one of ours?"
"Quite sure. Then there's the Blood Drinkers and the Flesh Tearers - both of which are Loyalist second founding of the Blood Angels."
"With names like that I'd always assumed they were more bone headed followers of the blood god."
"Not so far, My Lord. Then there's the Red Talons..."
"I thought they were renegade pirates."
"No Lord, that's the Red Corsairs."
"Oh. OK. Continue."
"The Brazen Claws are loyalists too."
"Good name for a Khornate force though isn't it?"
"Yes Lord. Then there's the Black Guard (not to be confused with the Black Legion which IS one of ours), the Revilers, and the Raptors."
"Hold on a minute! The Raptors? They're definitely ours. Hell we've got a small unit of them attached to our forces haven't we?"
"My Lord, those are the troops known as Raptors but there is also a loyalist legion with the same name."
"Must get a bit confusing for the loyalists then?"
"I imagine so, My Lord. There are also the Doom Eagles, the Silver Skulls, and the Iron Hands (not to be mistaken for the Iron Warriors, who are ours)."
"Bloody hell. Is that it?"
"There are also some lesser known chapters that also seem to cause occasional confusion."
"Such as..."
"The Doomfarers are one that our forces have occasionally encountered."
"Oh yeah. Those yoyos. So what about the Chaos forces that sound like loyalists then..."
"Well as mentioned earlier there are The Emperor's Children, The Iron
Warriors, the Thousand Sons, the Lunar Wolves (who changed their name to the Sons of Horus and then to the Black Legion)..."
"Well at least they're easily IDed as one of ours now. The Black Legion eh? Now that's a proper name. Just postively oozes evil from every pore."
"Yes, Lord. To continue, there are also the Word Bearers, and the Alpha Legion."
"The Word Bearers? What kind of silly name is that for a Chaos Legion?"
"They used to be missionarys sire"
"We you'd think that once they switched to our side they'd change their name to something a little more in keeping with being evil mad men. I mean come on 'The Word Bearers'? It's a silly name."
"Yes my Lord"
"You know, I think the forces of Chaos should have proper Chaos names. There's no room for mistakes when you're called something like 'The World Eaters' or 'The Death Guard'..."
"Actually Lord, both those chapters had those names when they were loyalists."
"You're kidding."
"No, My Lord."
"Yeesh. I would have thought names like that would be a bit scary for the average imperial citizen. I mean "Yay we're being rescued by the World Eaters" just doesn't sound credible while "Aargh! Flee! It's the World Eaters" seems much more likely."
"Yes, My Lord. I believe the latter is more likely these days anyway."
"Makes no bloody sense at all."
"Yes, My Lord."
"Kill 'em all and let the Chaos Gods sort 'em out I say."
"Sounds like a completely reasonable approach to me, My Lord..."

Thanks for posting that. I was afraid it was just me thinking that about the names.

Stop quoting the giant text posts!

Agreed.

Vargtass wrote:"My Lord, I bring news."
Typhus Marburg paused in his study of the situation map of the dreary little planet his forces were engaged in ravaging. "Yes?"
"Lord. Starships have appeared in the outer system and are on course for a landing. They have been identified as elements of the Flesh Tearers."
"Yeah? Tell them to sod off and find their own world. Tell 'em we got here first."
"Sire, you misunderstand. They are here to defend this world!"
"What! Why? It's a sorry state of affairs when the followers of Chaos start to defend the weakling Imperium from each other!"
"Um, Lord... the Flesh Tearers are a loyalist chapter."
"They are? With a name like that! Are you sure they're not one of ours?"
"Positive, My Lord."
"Have you been able to call for any assistance?"
"The Astropaths have contacted other forces nearby. Unfortunately this has also alerted other loyalist forces in the sector and they are also headed our way."
"Bugger. So who gets here first then?"
"The Alpha Legion, sire."
"It never rains, it only pours, hey?"
"Umm..."
"What!"
"The Alpha Legion is one of ours."
"It is?!"
"Yes."
"I'm confused. You're telling me that a mob called the 'Flesh Tearers' isn't one of ours but a mob called the - what was it again..."
"The Alpha Legion, sire."
"Right... a mob called the Alpha Legion is one of ours."
"That is correct, sire."
"So who else is showing up to this barney then?"
"The Blood Drinkers."
"One of ours?"
"One of theirs."
"OK."
"The Iron Warriors."
"One of theirs?"
"No. One of ours."
"Go figure."
"The Dark Angels."
"Now I've heard of them. Followers of Slaanesh aren't they?"
"No, I think you're thinking of The Fallen, sire. The Dark Angels are Loyalists too."
"Bugger. So who else then?"
"The Emperor's Children."
"Oh, that one's too easy. They're obviously loyalists with a name like that."
"Um, not exactly my Lord."
"Really?"
"Yes, Lord. They're one of ours too."
"This is silly. All the really evil sounding names are being used by weakling loyalists while it seems as though the forces of chaos have got the naff monikers. Are there any more of these I should know about?"
"A few, Lord."
"OK then, spell it out for me, starting with Loyalists that sound like traitors and then moving onto traitors that sound like Loyalists."
"I will attempt to do so, Lord. OK - the Loyalists that sound like traitors... the Marauders, Rampagers, Destroyers and Storm Lords (all White Scar second foundings in point of fact)."
"I like the sound of the Storm Lords. You sure they aren't one of ours?"
"Quite sure. Then there's the Blood Drinkers and the Flesh Tearers - both of which are Loyalist second founding of the Blood Angels."
"With names like that I'd always assumed they were more bone headed followers of the blood god."
"Not so far, My Lord. Then there's the Red Talons..."
"I thought they were renegade pirates."
"No Lord, that's the Red Corsairs."
"Oh. OK. Continue."
"The Brazen Claws are loyalists too."
"Good name for a Khornate force though isn't it?"
"Yes Lord. Then there's the Black Guard (not to be confused with the Black Legion which IS one of ours), the Revilers, and the Raptors."
"Hold on a minute! The Raptors? They're definitely ours. Hell we've got a small unit of them attached to our forces haven't we?"
"My Lord, those are the troops known as Raptors but there is also a loyalist legion with the same name."
"Must get a bit confusing for the loyalists then?"
"I imagine so, My Lord. There are also the Doom Eagles, the Silver Skulls, and the Iron Hands (not to be mistaken for the Iron Warriors, who are ours)."
"Bloody hell. Is that it?"
"There are also some lesser known chapters that also seem to cause occasional confusion."
"Such as..."
"The Doomfarers are one that our forces have occasionally encountered."
"Oh yeah. Those yoyos. So what about the Chaos forces that sound like loyalists then..."
"Well as mentioned earlier there are The Emperor's Children, The Iron
Warriors, the Thousand Sons, the Lunar Wolves (who changed their name to the Sons of Horus and then to the Black Legion)..."
"Well at least they're easily IDed as one of ours now. The Black Legion eh? Now that's a proper name. Just postively oozes evil from every pore."
"Yes, Lord. To continue, there are also the Word Bearers, and the Alpha Legion."
"The Word Bearers? What kind of silly name is that for a Chaos Legion?"
"They used to be missionarys sire"
"We you'd think that once they switched to our side they'd change their name to something a little more in keeping with being evil mad men. I mean come on 'The Word Bearers'? It's a silly name."
"Yes my Lord"
"You know, I think the forces of Chaos should have proper Chaos names. There's no room for mistakes when you're called something like 'The World Eaters' or 'The Death Guard'..."
"Actually Lord, both those chapters had those names when they were loyalists."
"You're kidding."
"No, My Lord."
"Yeesh. I would have thought names like that would be a bit scary for the average imperial citizen. I mean "Yay we're being rescued by the World Eaters" just doesn't sound credible while "Aargh! Flee! It's the World Eaters" seems much more likely."
"Yes, My Lord. I believe the latter is more likely these days anyway."
"Makes no bloody sense at all."
"Yes, My Lord."
"Kill 'em all and let the Chaos Gods sort 'em out I say."
"Sounds like a completely reasonable approach to me, My Lord..."

That was good, made me laugh a lot! Also as a side note, the main reason SM chapters have such mean names is because they used to go around ravagig worlds that didn't swear allegion to The Emperor, it's no wonder most of m turned to Chaos, all they had to do is use find and replace 'The Emperor' and 'Khorne' or 'Nurgle' lol.

Mattlov wrote:Stop quoting the giant text posts!

Stop what now?

I love that Ultraphoenix pic

Would that make Edgeworth a Word Bearer or something

ihatehumans wrote:

Vargtass wrote:"My Lord, I bring news."
Typhus Marburg paused in his study of the situation map of the dreary little planet his forces were engaged in ravaging. "Yes?"
"Lord. Starships have appeared in the outer system and are on course for a landing. They have been identified as elements of the Flesh Tearers."
"Yeah? Tell them to sod off and find their own world. Tell 'em we got here first."
"Sire, you misunderstand. They are here to defend this world!"
"What! Why? It's a sorry state of affairs when the followers of Chaos start to defend the weakling Imperium from each other!"
"Um, Lord... the Flesh Tearers are a loyalist chapter."
"They are? With a name like that! Are you sure they're not one of ours?"
"Positive, My Lord."
"Have you been able to call for any assistance?"
"The Astropaths have contacted other forces nearby. Unfortunately this has also alerted other loyalist forces in the sector and they are also headed our way."
"Bugger. So who gets here first then?"
"The Alpha Legion, sire."
"It never rains, it only pours, hey?"
"Umm..."
"What!"
"The Alpha Legion is one of ours."
"It is?!"
"Yes."
"I'm confused. You're telling me that a mob called the 'Flesh Tearers' isn't one of ours but a mob called the - what was it again..."
"The Alpha Legion, sire."
"Right... a mob called the Alpha Legion is one of ours."
"That is correct, sire."
"So who else is showing up to this barney then?"
"The Blood Drinkers."
"One of ours?"
"One of theirs."
"OK."
"The Iron Warriors."
"One of theirs?"
"No. One of ours."
"Go figure."
"The Dark Angels."
"Now I've heard of them. Followers of Slaanesh aren't they?"
"No, I think you're thinking of The Fallen, sire. The Dark Angels are Loyalists too."
"Bugger. So who else then?"
"The Emperor's Children."
"Oh, that one's too easy. They're obviously loyalists with a name like that."
"Um, not exactly my Lord."
"Really?"
"Yes, Lord. They're one of ours too."
"This is silly. All the really evil sounding names are being used by weakling loyalists while it seems as though the forces of chaos have got the naff monikers. Are there any more of these I should know about?"
"A few, Lord."
"OK then, spell it out for me, starting with Loyalists that sound like traitors and then moving onto traitors that sound like Loyalists."
"I will attempt to do so, Lord. OK - the Loyalists that sound like traitors... the Marauders, Rampagers, Destroyers and Storm Lords (all White Scar second foundings in point of fact)."
"I like the sound of the Storm Lords. You sure they aren't one of ours?"
"Quite sure. Then there's the Blood Drinkers and the Flesh Tearers - both of which are Loyalist second founding of the Blood Angels."
"With names like that I'd always assumed they were more bone headed followers of the blood god."
"Not so far, My Lord. Then there's the Red Talons..."
"I thought they were renegade pirates."
"No Lord, that's the Red Corsairs."
"Oh. OK. Continue."
"The Brazen Claws are loyalists too."
"Good name for a Khornate force though isn't it?"
"Yes Lord. Then there's the Black Guard (not to be confused with the Black Legion which IS one of ours), the Revilers, and the Raptors."
"Hold on a minute! The Raptors? They're definitely ours. Hell we've got a small unit of them attached to our forces haven't we?"
"My Lord, those are the troops known as Raptors but there is also a loyalist legion with the same name."
"Must get a bit confusing for the loyalists then?"
"I imagine so, My Lord. There are also the Doom Eagles, the Silver Skulls, and the Iron Hands (not to be mistaken for the Iron Warriors, who are ours)."
"Bloody hell. Is that it?"
"There are also some lesser known chapters that also seem to cause occasional confusion."
"Such as..."
"The Doomfarers are one that our forces have occasionally encountered."
"Oh yeah. Those yoyos. So what about the Chaos forces that sound like loyalists then..."
"Well as mentioned earlier there are The Emperor's Children, The Iron
Warriors, the Thousand Sons, the Lunar Wolves (who changed their name to the Sons of Horus and then to the Black Legion)..."
"Well at least they're easily IDed as one of ours now. The Black Legion eh? Now that's a proper name. Just postively oozes evil from every pore."
"Yes, Lord. To continue, there are also the Word Bearers, and the Alpha Legion."
"The Word Bearers? What kind of silly name is that for a Chaos Legion?"
"They used to be missionarys sire"
"We you'd think that once they switched to our side they'd change their name to something a little more in keeping with being evil mad men. I mean come on 'The Word Bearers'? It's a silly name."
"Yes my Lord"
"You know, I think the forces of Chaos should have proper Chaos names. There's no room for mistakes when you're called something like 'The World Eaters' or 'The Death Guard'..."
"Actually Lord, both those chapters had those names when they were loyalists."
"You're kidding."
"No, My Lord."
"Yeesh. I would have thought names like that would be a bit scary for the average imperial citizen. I mean "Yay we're being rescued by the World Eaters" just doesn't sound credible while "Aargh! Flee! It's the World Eaters" seems much more likely."
"Yes, My Lord. I believe the latter is more likely these days anyway."
"Makes no bloody sense at all."
"Yes, My Lord."
"Kill 'em all and let the Chaos Gods sort 'em out I say."
"Sounds like a completely reasonable approach to me, My Lord..."

That was good, made me laugh a lot! Also as a side note, the main reason SM chapters have such mean names is because they used to go around ravagig worlds that didn't swear allegion to The Emperor, it's no wonder most of m turned to Chaos, all they had to do is use find and replace 'The Emperor' and 'Khorne' or 'Nurgle' lol.

Mattlov wrote:Stop quoting the giant text posts!

Stop what now?

I tink he said stop quoting large postal workers.

lolzman wrote:

This has to be a space marine. He's pointing and screaming.

ultramarine1 wrote:

lolzman wrote:

This has to be a space marine. He's pointing and screaming.

Most Certainly a Sergeant from the Planet Screamypointia

Maj. Tom wrote:

ihatehumans wrote:

Vargtass wrote:"My Lord, I bring news."
Typhus Marburg paused in his study of the situation map of the dreary little planet his forces were engaged in ravaging. "Yes?"
"Lord. Starships have appeared in the outer system and are on course for a landing. They have been identified as elements of the Flesh Tearers."
"Yeah? Tell them to sod off and find their own world. Tell 'em we got here first."
"Sire, you misunderstand. They are here to defend this world!"
"What! Why? It's a sorry state of affairs when the followers of Chaos start to defend the weakling Imperium from each other!"
"Um, Lord... the Flesh Tearers are a loyalist chapter."
"They are? With a name like that! Are you sure they're not one of ours?"
"Positive, My Lord."
"Have you been able to call for any assistance?"
"The Astropaths have contacted other forces nearby. Unfortunately this has also alerted other loyalist forces in the sector and they are also headed our way."
"Bugger. So who gets here first then?"
"The Alpha Legion, sire."
"It never rains, it only pours, hey?"
"Umm..."
"What!"
"The Alpha Legion is one of ours."
"It is?!"
"Yes."
"I'm confused. You're telling me that a mob called the 'Flesh Tearers' isn't one of ours but a mob called the - what was it again..."
"The Alpha Legion, sire."
"Right... a mob called the Alpha Legion is one of ours."
"That is correct, sire."
"So who else is showing up to this barney then?"
"The Blood Drinkers."
"One of ours?"
"One of theirs."
"OK."
"The Iron Warriors."
"One of theirs?"
"No. One of ours."
"Go figure."
"The Dark Angels."
"Now I've heard of them. Followers of Slaanesh aren't they?"
"No, I think you're thinking of The Fallen, sire. The Dark Angels are Loyalists too."
"Bugger. So who else then?"
"The Emperor's Children."
"Oh, that one's too easy. They're obviously loyalists with a name like that."
"Um, not exactly my Lord."
"Really?"
"Yes, Lord. They're one of ours too."
"This is silly. All the really evil sounding names are being used by weakling loyalists while it seems as though the forces of chaos have got the naff monikers. Are there any more of these I should know about?"
"A few, Lord."
"OK then, spell it out for me, starting with Loyalists that sound like traitors and then moving onto traitors that sound like Loyalists."
"I will attempt to do so, Lord. OK - the Loyalists that sound like traitors... the Marauders, Rampagers, Destroyers and Storm Lords (all White Scar second foundings in point of fact)."
"I like the sound of the Storm Lords. You sure they aren't one of ours?"
"Quite sure. Then there's the Blood Drinkers and the Flesh Tearers - both of which are Loyalist second founding of the Blood Angels."
"With names like that I'd always assumed they were more bone headed followers of the blood god."
"Not so far, My Lord. Then there's the Red Talons..."
"I thought they were renegade pirates."
"No Lord, that's the Red Corsairs."
"Oh. OK. Continue."
"The Brazen Claws are loyalists too."
"Good name for a Khornate force though isn't it?"
"Yes Lord. Then there's the Black Guard (not to be confused with the Black Legion which IS one of ours), the Revilers, and the Raptors."
"Hold on a minute! The Raptors? They're definitely ours. Hell we've got a small unit of them attached to our forces haven't we?"
"My Lord, those are the troops known as Raptors but there is also a loyalist legion with the same name."
"Must get a bit confusing for the loyalists then?"
"I imagine so, My Lord. There are also the Doom Eagles, the Silver Skulls, and the Iron Hands (not to be mistaken for the Iron Warriors, who are ours)."
"Bloody hell. Is that it?"
"There are also some lesser known chapters that also seem to cause occasional confusion."
"Such as..."
"The Doomfarers are one that our forces have occasionally encountered."
"Oh yeah. Those yoyos. So what about the Chaos forces that sound like loyalists then..."
"Well as mentioned earlier there are The Emperor's Children, The Iron
Warriors, the Thousand Sons, the Lunar Wolves (who changed their name to the Sons of Horus and then to the Black Legion)..."
"Well at least they're easily IDed as one of ours now. The Black Legion eh? Now that's a proper name. Just postively oozes evil from every pore."
"Yes, Lord. To continue, there are also the Word Bearers, and the Alpha Legion."
"The Word Bearers? What kind of silly name is that for a Chaos Legion?"
"They used to be missionarys sire"
"We you'd think that once they switched to our side they'd change their name to something a little more in keeping with being evil mad men. I mean come on 'The Word Bearers'? It's a silly name."
"Yes my Lord"
"You know, I think the forces of Chaos should have proper Chaos names. There's no room for mistakes when you're called something like 'The World Eaters' or 'The Death Guard'..."
"Actually Lord, both those chapters had those names when they were loyalists."
"You're kidding."
"No, My Lord."
"Yeesh. I would have thought names like that would be a bit scary for the average imperial citizen. I mean "Yay we're being rescued by the World Eaters" just doesn't sound credible while "Aargh! Flee! It's the World Eaters" seems much more likely."
"Yes, My Lord. I believe the latter is more likely these days anyway."
"Makes no bloody sense at all."
"Yes, My Lord."
"Kill 'em all and let the Chaos Gods sort 'em out I say."
"Sounds like a completely reasonable approach to me, My Lord..."

That was good, made me laugh a lot! Also as a side note, the main reason SM chapters have such mean names is because they used to go around ravagig worlds that didn't swear allegion to The Emperor, it's no wonder most of m turned to Chaos, all they had to do is use find and replace 'The Emperor' and 'Khorne' or 'Nurgle' lol.

Mattlov wrote:Stop quoting the giant text posts!

Stop what now?

I tink he said stop quoting large postal workers.

Large postal workers? Where? We shall Purge them in the name of the Emperor!

Yes, yes, well done fellas. You're well on your way to ruining this thread and getting it locked. Congrats.

Greebynog wrote:Yes, yes, well done fellas. You're well on your way to ruining this thread and getting it locked. Congrats.

It could be worse, we could all be quoting "The Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike."

Gwar! wrote:"The Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike."

Man, am i glad we arent quoting that, it would be terrible.

Maj. Tom wrote:
Man, am i glad we arent quoting that, it would be terrible.

quoted for truth

There is nothing wrong with a Black and White Space Marine on a Black and White Bike <,<

Vargtass wrote:There is nothing wrong with a Black and White Space Marine on a Black and White Bike <,<

theres nothing wrong with him... just 10 of us quoting him in his entirety, just so we can get our quirky comment in on the person who posted him in the first place

ihatehumans wrote:

Vargtass wrote:"My Lord, I bring news."
Typhus Marburg paused in his study of the situation map of the dreary little planet his forces were engaged in ravaging. "Yes?"
"Lord. Starships have appeared in the outer system and are on course for a landing. They have been identified as elements of the Flesh Tearers."
"Yeah? Tell them to sod off and find their own world. Tell 'em we got here first."
"Sire, you misunderstand. They are here to defend this world!"
"What! Why? It's a sorry state of affairs when the followers of Chaos start to defend the weakling Imperium from each other!"
"Um, Lord... the Flesh Tearers are a loyalist chapter."
"They are? With a name like that! Are you sure they're not one of ours?"
"Positive, My Lord."
"Have you been able to call for any assistance?"
"The Astropaths have contacted other forces nearby. Unfortunately this has also alerted other loyalist forces in the sector and they are also headed our way."
"Bugger. So who gets here first then?"
"The Alpha Legion, sire."
"It never rains, it only pours, hey?"
"Umm..."
"What!"
"The Alpha Legion is one of ours."
"It is?!"
"Yes."
"I'm confused. You're telling me that a mob called the 'Flesh Tearers' isn't one of ours but a mob called the - what was it again..."
"The Alpha Legion, sire."
"Right... a mob called the Alpha Legion is one of ours."
"That is correct, sire."
"So who else is showing up to this barney then?"
"The Blood Drinkers."
"One of ours?"
"One of theirs."
"OK."
"The Iron Warriors."
"One of theirs?"
"No. One of ours."
"Go figure."
"The Dark Angels."
"Now I've heard of them. Followers of Slaanesh aren't they?"
"No, I think you're thinking of The Fallen, sire. The Dark Angels are Loyalists too."
"Bugger. So who else then?"
"The Emperor's Children."
"Oh, that one's too easy. They're obviously loyalists with a name like that."
"Um, not exactly my Lord."
"Really?"
"Yes, Lord. They're one of ours too."
"This is silly. All the really evil sounding names are being used by weakling loyalists while it seems as though the forces of chaos have got the naff monikers. Are there any more of these I should know about?"
"A few, Lord."
"OK then, spell it out for me, starting with Loyalists that sound like traitors and then moving onto traitors that sound like Loyalists."
"I will attempt to do so, Lord. OK - the Loyalists that sound like traitors... the Marauders, Rampagers, Destroyers and Storm Lords (all White Scar second foundings in point of fact)."
"I like the sound of the Storm Lords. You sure they aren't one of ours?"
"Quite sure. Then there's the Blood Drinkers and the Flesh Tearers - both of which are Loyalist second founding of the Blood Angels."
"With names like that I'd always assumed they were more bone headed followers of the blood god."
"Not so far, My Lord. Then there's the Red Talons..."
"I thought they were renegade pirates."
"No Lord, that's the Red Corsairs."
"Oh. OK. Continue."
"The Brazen Claws are loyalists too."
"Good name for a Khornate force though isn't it?"
"Yes Lord. Then there's the Black Guard (not to be confused with the Black Legion which IS one of ours), the Revilers, and the Raptors."
"Hold on a minute! The Raptors? They're definitely ours. Hell we've got a small unit of them attached to our forces haven't we?"
"My Lord, those are the troops known as Raptors but there is also a loyalist legion with the same name."
"Must get a bit confusing for the loyalists then?"
"I imagine so, My Lord. There are also the Doom Eagles, the Silver Skulls, and the Iron Hands (not to be mistaken for the Iron Warriors, who are ours)."
"Bloody hell. Is that it?"
"There are also some lesser known chapters that also seem to cause occasional confusion."
"Such as..."
"The Doomfarers are one that our forces have occasionally encountered."
"Oh yeah. Those yoyos. So what about the Chaos forces that sound like loyalists then..."
"Well as mentioned earlier there are The Emperor's Children, The Iron
Warriors, the Thousand Sons, the Lunar Wolves (who changed their name to the Sons of Horus and then to the Black Legion)..."
"Well at least they're easily IDed as one of ours now. The Black Legion eh? Now that's a proper name. Just postively oozes evil from every pore."
"Yes, Lord. To continue, there are also the Word Bearers, and the Alpha Legion."
"The Word Bearers? What kind of silly name is that for a Chaos Legion?"
"They used to be missionarys sire"
"We you'd think that once they switched to our side they'd change their name to something a little more in keeping with being evil mad men. I mean come on 'The Word Bearers'? It's a silly name."
"Yes my Lord"
"You know, I think the forces of Chaos should have proper Chaos names. There's no room for mistakes when you're called something like 'The World Eaters' or 'The Death Guard'..."
"Actually Lord, both those chapters had those names when they were loyalists."
"You're kidding."
"No, My Lord."
"Yeesh. I would have thought names like that would be a bit scary for the average imperial citizen. I mean "Yay we're being rescued by the World Eaters" just doesn't sound credible while "Aargh! Flee! It's the World Eaters" seems much more likely."
"Yes, My Lord. I believe the latter is more likely these days anyway."
"Makes no bloody sense at all."
"Yes, My Lord."
"Kill 'em all and let the Chaos Gods sort 'em out I say."
"Sounds like a completely reasonable approach to me, My Lord..."

That was good, made me laugh a lot! Also as a side note, the main reason SM chapters have such mean names is because they used to go around ravagig worlds that didn't swear allegion to The Emperor, it's no wonder most of m turned to Chaos, all they had to do is use find and replace 'The Emperor' and 'Khorne' or 'Nurgle' lol.

Mattlov wrote:Stop quoting the giant text posts!

Stop what now?

You know, I think I've found the solution to your problem. They're called Litko Aerosystems, and they manufacture terrain such as Space Corridors and Industrial Towers.

Excuse my good sir, But Perhaps you could be of assistance. I am looking for some Space Corridors to link up some potential Industrial Towers I may or may not at some point in the future commit myself to purchasing from a company that may or may not make them.

Could you perhaps inform me as to a company of this nature?