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A short idea I had a while ago, trying to improve on my writing. I'm not completely sure on dreadnought terminology.



He had not seen the sun in centuries. Not since he sacrificed himself to save his brothers. The explosion had mangled him beyond recognition, and only his interment in this Dreadnought had saved what was left of his life.
For centuries he slept, knowing nothing but silence. Until...

"Brother Urbaen." Grey Hunter Urbaen looked up. Iron Priest Karl stood before him, holding a dataslate which he would use to awaken Brother-Dreadnought Harald Einherjar.
"Are you ready?" Urbaen nodded. This would be the first time he would have the honour to gaze upon a fallen hero walking with mortals. Einherjar had dined with Oden himself.
Brother-Dreadnought Harald rested in a small stone hall, with several paintings and scrolls describing every single battle he had partaken in. A single wolf pelt hung over the Dreadnought.

"Starting the awakening..."

Urbaen removed his Corvus-pattern helmet. His beard flowed over his chestplate.
He could hear the Dreadnought rumbling, cogs and pistons moving about, and a faint blue glow coming from within the sarcophagus.

It seemed like an eternity passed before Brother-Dreadnought spoke:

"Why have you awaken me?" it said, shaking the hall with its powerful vox speakers.

Urbaen bared his fangs and smirked. He had waited so long for this moment to come.

"To kill, oh ancient one. To kill."

"What am I to kill?"

"Greenskins."

Urbaen could swear he heard a faint howl coming from inside of the sarcophagus. An Ork had fired the rocket that killed him.

"Then kill I shall. Bring me my axe, bring me my shield."

The Dreadnought stretched out its arms, and Iron Priest Karl's servo arm reached for a gigantic axe on a stone slab. Karl turned his head towards Urbaen and said "Your work here is done, Grey Hunter. You're needed at the battlements."
Urbaen nodded. He could hear the sounds of battle, the roaring of Bolters being unloaded, the screams of Blood Claws charging into combat and the whirr of Chainswords. He grabbed his axe and his Bolter and started walking towards the exit, towards the battle.

Brother-Dreadnought Harald followed him, with an axe and a shield.
He saw the sun. For the first time in hundreds of years, he saw the sun shining down on a battlefield. He felt at home.

Wouldn't it be "Why have you woken me?"

Well, Mathew its decent enough. It's a story about a dreadnought, you might say, "the" story of a dreadnought. You've covered more than just the bare details and added a few flourishes to fill it out. Overall its not bad.

There's a phrase "show, don't tell." Which might help you approach your writing in a more imaginative way. Like for instance your sentence. "This would be the first time he would have the honour to gaze upon a fallen hero walking with mortals." You're telling us a fact. Which is ok. It gets the story to us. But a better way is to show us. Describe how he is reacting to the experience, his awe, his sense of wonder. When we experience it with him we'll learn more than just the facts and the story will be more engaging.

Also, yes "woken" is correct or I would have used "awoken" being the past tense of "awaken". You should change that. "Awakened" is also a word, though I feel like it isn't the right one for this circumstance.

You might want to edit your topic title as well because it probably puts people off reading the piece.

I believe there's a part of the Space Marines Omnibus that I read that sounded similar to this, though when I went to find it it seemed this was actually written better than it. Kudos.