Switch Theme:

Ridiculous mental images (supported by 40k rules)  [RSS] Share on facebook Share on Twitter Submit to Reddit
»
Author Message
Advert


Forum adverts like this one are shown to any user who is not logged in. Join us by filling out a tiny 3 field form and you will get your own, free, dakka user account which gives a good range of benefits to you:
  • No adverts like this in the forums anymore.
  • Times and dates in your local timezone.
  • Full tracking of what you have read so you can skip to your first unread post, easily see what has changed since you last logged in, and easily see what is new at a glance.
  • Email notifications for threads you want to watch closely.
  • Being a part of the oldest wargaming community on the net.
If you are already a member then feel free to login now.




Made in de
Jinking Ravenwing Land Speeder Pilot






While chatting about a bit about the... less than optimal rules writing of FoC (like giving an IK Eternal Warrior or a S+2 AP2 weapon) a mental image developed.

An IK with Thunderstrike Gauntlet/Ravager destroys a Land Raider in Close Combat.
Via Hurl! he can throw it in the form of a 5" S7 blast at a nearby target.
Now we assume the target is a Kastellan Robot.
Said Kastellan Robot is hit, wounded... and saves it with a 6 on his 5++... reflecting the thrown Land Raider back into the IK's face with an Adam-West-Batman like "BOING!" popping up.

While I don't have the exact rules in front of me and the reflecting happens only to shooting attacks, for gag and giggles, we assume that Hurl! is a shooting attack since it has a weapon profile and all.
A Land Raider being ping-ponged around had me surpressing laughter for half a minute while at work to avoid strange looks from my co-worker.

What other, frankly, insane but possible situations can you conjure up?


6000
1000 + 2 Knights

DA:80+S+G+MB+IPw40k13+D+A++/areWD24R++T(M)DM+
 
   
Made in us
[DCM]
Evolved Spambot





Hyperspace

A Smart Missile System shooting at a unit that is inside a foot-thick steel box with no entry or exit points. Ignore Cover, Ignores LoS, Ignores Physics.

FudgeDumper - It could be that you are just so uncomfortable with the idea of your chapters primarch having his way with a docile tyranid spore cyst, that you must deny they have any feelings at all.
CragHack - The book hanging on his waist is actually 'Fires of Cyraxus', doomed to be lost and never released :(
Peregrine - If you like the army buy it, and don't worry about what one random person on the internet thinks.
Kanluwen - The Prime is the equivalent of a radio which will devour you. 
   
Made in th
Pyromaniac Hellhound Pilot




New Zealand

LRBT top speed 5km/hr
Coteaz & friends distorting time.
Stationary Baneblade randomly flies through the air after suffering critical damage.

5000
 
   
Made in gb
Lone Wolf Sentinel Pilot





Pawnee, Indiana

An imperial guardsmen being hit in the face with a boltgun but it just bouncing off.

"That's Warhammer 40,000 where instead of using Victory Points to determine the victor you roll a D6 and compare receipts. Highest total receipts wins. I'm not sure what the D6 is for." - Abadabadoobaddon, on Reciepthammer 40k

"Actually if the PC/console games have thought us anything most of the noise from bolter fire is the firer yelling for the emperor every shot." - Joyboozer, on silenced bolters.

"It's better to just roll a D6 and discount anything I say on a 3+" - NivlacSupreme, on himself and his sanity. 
   
Made in us
Agile Revenant Titan





Dallas area, TX

A bike-mounted model in front of his unit of non-bikers using Jink to prevent shots from hitting his unit.
"I'll just dodge out of the way of this bullet so that it doesn't hit the squad behind me"
Derp.

This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at 2017/02/06 16:30:17


   
Made in us
Squishy Oil Squig




A few grots "bravely" stand in front of the mek gunz to help block shots from a knight using their glorious T7 bodies.
   
Made in us
Shrieking Guardian Jetbiker




San Diego, CA

A massive psionic buildup of monumental proportions around a Farseer sees the sky darken over the battlefield, any loose debris and rubble begins floating of its own volition. Lightning arcs between various buildings and metallic objects as the air around her ionizes. Psychic screaming can be heard ringing in the minds of every living being on the battlefield. The Farseer rises into the air, buoyed with her own rage, energies of literal hell coalescing around her hands. Then, without warning...

It all stops. Farseer drops back down on her feet and sighs heavily. "Ynnead damnit..." she mutters as a loud hissing sound emanates from her ghost helm and a small purple sphere, referred to crudely by the mon'keigh as a "warp charge", ejects from a hidden port in her helm. "Fething snake eyes..."



"Russ - This guy is basically werewolf Dick Cheney. No pity at all."
-Vulgar, because it was too funny not to steal 
   
Made in gb
Emboldened Warlock




Leeds UK

Someone fires a missile at a squad of boyz through a forest, half of the models hit pass their cover saves, half don't. The missile simultaneously hits a tree and explodes at the orks feet.

Ulthwe: 7500 points

8th ed: W:4 L:2 D:1 
   
Made in ca
Repentia Mistress






Had a rare set of circumstances where we invoked wobbly model syndrome to place a dreadnought in an upper level of a terrain piece because moving him around in the ground level would require you to remove a large model that blocked the area. Made it hard to see.

Later, we would described it as the time Venerable Brother Duane "THE BLOCK" Johnson ripped down a wall, lept up to the second floor, and delivered a crushing People's Elbow down upon an unsuspecting commie Riptide.

The crowd goes wild.

I've heard it said that she can melt you with her eyes. 
   
Made in ca
Ancient Venerable Black Templar Dreadnought





Canada

Knee-Hobbler the Ratling was having a bad day.
Shooting at the Chaos Space Marines with a sniper rifle barely succeeded in making them angry, which was easily done.
After the 13th ineffective shot, he noticed a marine looked like he had eaten a grenade and was distorting all strange in his armor.
He exploded.
Standing in the red mist was an enormous daemon with an axe and a whip and looking even MORE angry than the guy he replaced.
"I AM A GOD!!! I WILL DESTROY YOU ALL!!!" Roared the daemon.
"Excellent" thought Knee-Hobbler: "I eat gods for breakfast.", he chambered a round and took aim.

Isn't it amazing how anything using mainly toughness for protection is such an incredible victim to poison or sniper rifles?
You could easily replace "Knee-Hobbler" the Ratling to "Knee-Blender" the Dark Eldar.
Nurgle at least should view poisons like a fine wine, which is not the case.

A revolution is an idea which has found its bayonets.
Napoleon Bonaparte

 
   
Made in us
Sinewy Scourge





Boulder, Colorado

Bloodthirsters roars in anger, slashing his whip and locating his next target.

The wounds he has suffered during the battle have just angered him more, his torn up wings barely let him fly, and he is missing patches of daemonic flesh all over his horrible body.

He locates a squad of putrid tau, currently fleeing from the hulking beast, his broken wings carry him into the melee as he slaughters all the tau but a single drone.

The Drone then proceeds to fly and hit the bloodthirster on the head, felling the mighty beast forever.

   
Made in au
Stern Iron Priest with Thrall Bodyguard





A volley of shells is fired in overwatch at the charging Wolf Guard Yven Stonejaw and his rhino sized Thunderwolf Tiptoe, mid-charge Stonejaw leaps over the front of his mount, deflects all the shells with his energy shield then cleanly re-mounts and follows through with the charge.
I understand that some energy fields cover their entire user but Storm Shields seem to be able to cover a Space Marine Bike or Thunderwolf and their respective riders even though they have a bulky shield piece that is clearly the "front".

I don't break the rules but I'll bend them as far as they'll go. 
   
Made in gb
Fresh-Faced New User




A knight, tattered heraldry dedicated to glorious Grandfather Nurgle, causing the very ground the shake with each lumbering step moved forward through the battlefield. The pilot screaming curses at his fellow Nurgle psyker who just prior shrouded the Tau Stormsurge from his scanners. He grinned as he readied his bulk for a ramming attack against the monstrous machine. The pilot let out a sinister cackle as he prepared his charge...

A Breacher Shas'Ui, noble auxiliary of the Tau Empire stepped forward, raising her pulse blaster in one arm and screaming as she charged forward into the knight. It was the hope of her commander that she could protect the Stormsurge for long enough for it fire off one more volley. For reasons beyond the Tau commander the knight did not simply step over the breachers hitting its knees with the butt of their guns, but instead kept flailing around in what he could only imagine was an attempt at attack for the remainder of the battle.
   
Made in us
Stalwart Space Marine





Illinois

The inability to shoot into melee sometimes makes sense, sometimes not. For example:

The marine tactical sqaud had been ambushed by an understrength brood of termagaunts. Engaging in bitter, hand to claw combat, the marines slowly overwhelming the battered aliens, and one by one the termaguants fell. As the last pair of 'gaunts made thier final stand, the towering form of a carniflex appeared behind the marines, ready to unleash a torrent of bio-plasma that would leave nothing but scorched bones and melted ceramite behind......which it elected to refrain from doing, least it's attack also kill one, or worse both, of the termagaunts. The hive mind dared not take such a ruthless action, least the hive mind decide that the hive mind was too callous with it's troops and revolt against the hive mind.
   
Made in se
[DCM]
#1 fangirl of reasonable character proportions and really massive armor






The Eye of Terror. More specifically, Silvermoon City.

Gretchin successfully parry attacks made by the Avatar of Khaine 33% of the time.

Imagine that you’re sitting down to dinner with your family, and while everyone else gets a serving of the meal, you don’t get any. So you say “I should get my fair share.” And as a direct response to this, your dad corrects you, saying, “everyone should get their fair share.” Now, that’s a wonderful sentiment — indeed, everyone should, and that was kinda your point in the first place: that you should be a part of everyone, and you should get your fair share also. However, dad’s smart-!@# comment just dismissed you and didn’t solve the problem that you still haven’t gotten any!

The problem is that the statement “I should get my fair share” had an implicit “too” at the end: “I should get my fair share, too, just like everyone else.” But your dad’s response treated your statement as though you meant “only I should get my fair share”, which clearly was not your intention. As a result, his statement that “everyone should get their fair share,” while true, only served to ignore the problem you were trying to point out.

That is why we need feminism, and why I am not simply egalitarian. 
   
Made in au
Stern Iron Priest with Thrall Bodyguard





 Battlegrinder wrote:
The inability to shoot into melee sometimes makes sense, sometimes not. For example:

The marine tactical sqaud had been ambushed by an understrength brood of termagaunts. Engaging in bitter, hand to claw combat, the marines slowly overwhelming the battered aliens, and one by one the termaguants fell. As the last pair of 'gaunts made thier final stand, the towering form of a carniflex appeared behind the marines, ready to unleash a torrent of bio-plasma that would leave nothing but scorched bones and melted ceramite behind......which it elected to refrain from doing, least it's attack also kill one, or worse both, of the termagaunts. The hive mind dared not take such a ruthless action, least the hive mind decide that the hive mind was too callous with it's troops and revolt against the hive mind.


That has popped into my head on so many occassions. I think it actually fits really well with some armies but not so much with others.
Guard would do it "That's it boys! Hold them down while I aim this Demolisher Canon at them. No! Don't let them up, keep them in the sights. Of course you're going to die with them - the fact you only just figured that out means your family really are better off without you."

I'd like to see risk and reward shooting into melee similar to when a blast scatters over melee. Every shot that misses its target hits your own stuff.
Big question though, what happens when Warp Spiders get fired on in melee?

I don't break the rules but I'll bend them as far as they'll go. 
   
Made in gb
Member of a Lodge? I Can't Say






Vindicare Assassin Shoots a Kastellan woth Turbo Penetrators
Wounds
Rolls a 6 on D3 Wounds
"Do i get Cover Saves?"
No
"Armour?"
AP2
"Invun then"
Yes
Rolls a 6 On Invun
GenjiDeflect.jpg
Vindicare Fails his Cover Save
Headshot.jpg
Vindicare only has 3 wounds
Dead.jpg
   
Made in au
Angry Blood Angel Assault marine





A hundred year old Space Marine, veteran to countless battles, hero of the Imperium, son of a Primarch...
Slips on a rock and dies.
   
Made in gb
Ruthless Interrogator





Hull

I had a big Squiggoth do a difficult terrain test to enter a ruined building, in the end we decided it just went through the wall before charging a StormSword and failing to even dent the armour.
   
Made in us
Poisonous Kroot Headhunter





 gummyofallbears wrote:
Bloodthirsters roars in anger, slashing his whip and locating his next target.

The wounds he has suffered during the battle have just angered him more, his torn up wings barely let him fly, and he is missing patches of daemonic flesh all over his horrible body.

He locates a squad of putrid tau, currently fleeing from the hulking beast, his broken wings carry him into the melee as he slaughters all the tau but a single drone.

The Drone then proceeds to fly and hit the bloodthirster on the head, felling the mighty beast forever.


I'll see your Bloodthirster, and raise you a Fateweaver.

That actually happened with my Tau Drones. I did a write-up of it, fluff-wise, on reddit somewhere...

A few editions ago, a pair of my Gun Drones from a wrecked Hammerhead assaulted Fateweaver, inflicted a single wound using their WS 2 and S3, Fateweaver failed his save, failed his rerolled save, and then failed his test to stick around, removing himself from the battlefield. One of the Gun Drones survived.

Justification: Fateweaver, though immensely powerful, is ultimately still not infinitely so - of all the things on the battlefield whose fate he needed to be aware of and modify, a single pair of stupid AI Drones shouldn't need to be more than cursorily considered in their effect on the battle, especially their effect when forced to engage at the sort of close ranges they tend to do poorly in.

But the stupid AI came to an unusual, difficult-to-predict decision - that giant bird-like enemy entity wasn't paying attention to its right flank, and the momentum of a Drone going full speed at its face might be able to distract it when the Crisis Suits arrived. The survival of the incoming suits was noted as being more tactically significant than the continued presence of the Gun Drones in the battle, and the AI determined that sacrificing its parts was ultimately for the Greater Good.

*BONK*

Fateweaver: "NOTASPLANNEDNOTASPLANNEDWTFOMGBBQKLATERBAI"

*Poof*

Fateweaver's allies: "...Wat."
   
Made in my
Wicked Warp Spider






At my desk

And this one isn't particularly bad, it's just amusing:
Brother-Sergeant Amadeus and his squad choose to fire into the heretical guardsmen. The Squads Bolters fire on fully automatic, needing no control to hit the filthy heretics. The torrent of fire is withering, many of the heretics die.
Brother Rold, aims his lascannon, "F k this guardsman in particular" he says as he pulls the trigger. A single heretic falls to his mighty weapon.

2000pt Eldar - THIRD REPAINT (I must hate myself)
750pt Dark Eldar - all painted
1850pt Chaos Space Marines - all painted

40K's no fun when you have a plan! 
   
Made in us
Hellish Haemonculus






Boskydell, IL

The flamer wielding Imperial misses the Dark Eldar Venom entirely because the Flickerfield made it seem like the target was ~10m to the left. Somehow the kabalites inside get barbecued anyway.

Welcome to the Freakshow!

(Leadership-shenanigans for Eldar of all types.) 
   
Made in us
Pyromaniac Hellhound Pilot






Schrott

Volcano Cannon fires its TITAN KILLING blast at a lone Leman Russ tank.

Leman Russ comes out completely unscathed.

Regiment: 91st Schrott Experimental Regiment
Regiment Planet: Schrott
Specialization: Salvaged, Heavily Modified, and/or Experimental Mechanized Units.
"SIR! Are you sure this will work!?"
"I HAVE NO IDEA, PULL THE TRIGGER!!!" 91st comms chatter.  
   
Made in us
Ancient Venerable Dark Angels Dreadnought






A Protoss colony world

Here's one, coming from my hatred of the fact that Tau have to take morale checks when stupid drones die:

A bunch of Space Marines with bolters fire their weapons at a Riptide battlesuit. Bolts ping harmlessly off of the suit's tough armor. The pilot of the Riptide notices one of his shielded missile drones fall to the ground, sparking. "OMG my drone died RUN FOR THE HILLS!"

Another dumb one is the new ruling stating that only one guy can throw a grenade in CC:

"Okay, everybody hit this Helbrute with the butt of your bolters. No, only I get to throw a krak grenade. Why? Cuz I'm the sergeant and I said so!"

My armies (re-counted and updated for 8th Edition on 7/24/17, including usual wargear options):
Dark Angels: ~9500 | Blood Ravens Space Marines: ~800 | Space Wolves: ~700
Inquisition: ~120 | Officio Assassinorum: ~175 | Imperial Knights: ~Coming soon!
Tau Empire: ~5500 | Chaos Space Marines (various legions): ~5300 | Death Guard: ~800 | Chaos Daemons (all types): ~2300
Check out my P&M Blogs: ZergSmasher's P&M Blog | Stormsurge blog | Imperial Knights: Renegade blog | Total models painted in 2016: 50 | Total models painted in 2017: 25 | Current main painting project: Dark Angels Intercessor Squad
I'm totally sick of seeing people use the word loose for lose. You "lose" a game when you don't win. If your clothes are too big they are loose. You don't loose a game unless you somehow release it from captivity. Get it right people! [/grammarnazi] 
   
Made in ca
Stalwart Ultramarine Tactical Marine





I think my favorite is sternngaurd vets and guards men vets are as good at shooting. I mean surviving one battle compared to 100 years of constant training and battle are pretty much the same thing right?

Ultramarine 3000
Nids 4000
Grey Knights 1000 
   
Made in us
Gangly Grot Rebel





Hey Sarge?
Did that steel and concrete building get closer when we wasn't looking....
*Scouting fortification*
   
Made in ca
Calculating Commissar





Krieg! What a hole...

 mew28 wrote:
I think my favorite is sternngaurd vets and guards men vets are as good at shooting. I mean surviving one battle compared to 100 years of constant training and battle are pretty much the same thing right?


Vets aren't vets after 1 battle...

Member of 40k Montreal There is only war in Montreal
7th ED Shooting is fine!
DKoK Blog:http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/419263.page Have a look, I guarantee you will not see greyer armies, EVER! Now with at least 4 shades of grey

Savageconvoy wrote:
Snookie gives birth to Heavy Gun drone squad. Someone says they are overpowered. World ends.

 
   
Made in se
[DCM]
#1 fangirl of reasonable character proportions and really massive armor






The Eye of Terror. More specifically, Silvermoon City.

A Volcano Cannon blast hits some IG. All three tanks are annihilated but the guardsmen at the blast's center survive it.

Imagine that you’re sitting down to dinner with your family, and while everyone else gets a serving of the meal, you don’t get any. So you say “I should get my fair share.” And as a direct response to this, your dad corrects you, saying, “everyone should get their fair share.” Now, that’s a wonderful sentiment — indeed, everyone should, and that was kinda your point in the first place: that you should be a part of everyone, and you should get your fair share also. However, dad’s smart-!@# comment just dismissed you and didn’t solve the problem that you still haven’t gotten any!

The problem is that the statement “I should get my fair share” had an implicit “too” at the end: “I should get my fair share, too, just like everyone else.” But your dad’s response treated your statement as though you meant “only I should get my fair share”, which clearly was not your intention. As a result, his statement that “everyone should get their fair share,” while true, only served to ignore the problem you were trying to point out.

That is why we need feminism, and why I am not simply egalitarian. 
   
Made in cn
Regular Dakkanaut







My opponent once fired a battlecannon point blank and it scattered behind the Russ, clipping and weapon destroyed killed the battlecannon.....wut?
   
Made in ru
Waaagh! Ork Warboss






Are you nuts! Shooting at a towering wraithknight, when it's still fighting with 2 conscripts. What if you accidentally shoot 2 stories lower and hurt the men! Have a heart!

This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at 2017/02/07 06:53:48


 
   
 
Forum Index » 40K General Discussion
Go to: