Loser Unit Fight Club: Current Loser Champion: Jokaero

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**Marmatag**

Let's crown the worst melee unit in the game, using math hammer!

1. The unit must be classified as Infantry. No characters.

2. No stratagems or supporting units included (conscripts do not have a commissar, for example).

3. Melee only. No shooting! Even if you have pistols. No psychic! Problems are solved with fists around here, not brains. Morale will take effect at the end of each round.

4. Unit points will be equivalent (if you propose a 160 point unit, that would mean say 40 conscripts fight it).

5. It will be assumed that all models can always fight (even if there are 200 models, they will all assumed to be able to fight).

6. If a unit has a weapon equipped, it will use it. No wielding a sword and electing to use "close combat attack." Also, a unit must use the best FREE upgrades available. These guys want to win, after all. No dropping chainswords if you have access to them. Sluggas and Choppas over Shootas.

7. If a match cannot be resolved in 10 turns, we will go to the judges scorecard. To make my life easy we will go with wounds dealt calculated as points.

8. Movement distance will act as initiative. In the event of a tie, the Defending Champion goes first. In this case, the loser stays on, so the defending champion is a loser.

9. Since this is a fun exercise, it is not meant as a discussion around what is good or what is bad, and what should be nerfed.

10. Loser stays on. The unit will fight until it beats something, and a new loser is crowned.

To make my life easier in battlescribe, please post the faction, as well as the role, and the appropriate name (my first nominee below)

Round 1
Defending Loser:
Faction: Tau
Role: Troop
Name: Strike Team
Challenger:
Faction: AM
Role: Elite
Name: Ratlings
Loser: Ratlings

Round 2
Defending Loser:
Faction: AM
Role: Elite
Name: Ratlings
Challenger:
Faction: Tyranids
Role: Elite
Name: Zoanthropes
Loser: Ratlings

Round 3
Defending Loser:
Faction: AM
Role: Elite
Name: Ratlings
Challenger:
Faction: Inquisition
Role: Elite
Name: Jokaero
Loser: Jokaero

Current Loser Champion: Jokaero

Who dare enter Thunderdome?

**Bobthehero**

I offer the Ratlings to the Thunderdome.

**Slayer-Fan123**

I will take Deathmarks into the Thunder Dome!

**Angra**

Faction: Tyranids
Role:Elite
Name: Zoanthropes
Unit size: min 3

**Marmatag**

We'll start with Ratlings.

Crunching

Ratlings win!

**daedalus**

They HAVE to keep the free upgrade, or do you mean that they can't just choose a worse free upgrade?

**Marmatag**

Round 2: Ratlings v Zoanthropes

Recalcuating. made a mistake

UPDATE: Zoanthropes win this combat. Zoanthropes have 3 wounds a piece.

Ratlings are still the loser to beat.

**A.T.**

The mighty Jokaero shall answer the challenge

A pair of strength 2 attacks, WS 6+, toughness 3, and a 5++ save (3 wounds). 38 points all in.

0.139 wounds on average to a ratling.
0.074 in return * 5.43 ratlings = 0.4 wounds.

After 7 rounds of ineffectual punching the Jokaero kills his first ratling.
A round later the surviving ratlings take their revenge and the jokaeros last wound.

EDIT - too late :( ... though jokaero against what looks to be an even numbers matchup of zoanthrope is going to go very badly for the chimp

**emptyhat**

Da grots don't want to go in but I herd them forwards with a whip.

**Marmatag**

daedalus wrote:
They HAVE to keep the free upgrade, or do you mean that they can't just choose a worse free upgrade?

If it's the first one, Inquisition Acolytes with thunder hammers enter the thunderdome. If it's the second, I'd need to think about it for a while.

We're talking base wargear for the most part. For example, a dreadnought should be viewed in its base kit, which includes a CCW.

Inquisition Acolytes with Thunder Hammers is fine, provided you're not selecting the Thunder Hammer and paying points for that choice. If that is their default loadout, you're good.

Automatically Appended Next Post:
Second - make a mistake on Ratlings vs Thropes. Recalculating.

**daedalus**

Marmatag wrote:
daedalus wrote:
They HAVE to keep the free upgrade, or do you mean that they can't just choose a worse free upgrade?

If it's the first one, Inquisition Acolytes with thunder hammers enter the thunderdome. If it's the second, I'd need to think about it for a while.

We're talking base wargear for the most part. For example, a dreadnought should be viewed in its base kit, which includes a CCW.

Inquisition Acolytes with Thunder Hammers is fine, provided you're not selecting the Thunder Hammer and paying points for that choice. If that is their default loadout, you're good.

Okay. I misunderstood. Nevermind my choice then.

**Angra**

A.T. wrote:
The mighty Jokaero shall answer the challenge

A pair of strength 2 attacks, WS 6+, toughness 3, and a 5++ save (3 wounds). 38 points all in.

0.139 wounds on average to a ratling.
0.074 in return * 5.43 ratlings = 0.4 wounds.

After 7 rounds of ineffectual punching the Jokaero kills his first ratling.
A round later the surviving ratlings take their revenge and the jokaeros last wound.

EDIT - too late :( ... though jokaero against what looks to be an even numbers matchup of zoanthrope is going to go very badly for the chimp

Did you count re-rolls ? re-roll hit, wound or both.

nevermind, its shooting phase..

**Desubot**

Should of called it the weenie roundup.

What bout the humble gretchen?

**daedalus**

I've made my choice. Astra Militarum Wyrdvane Psykers enter the Thunderdome. 8ppm.

Lot of attacks compared to zoans, but I think there's a chance here.

**Marmatag**

I made a mistake, the zoans actually won that fight. I forgot to calculate their 3 wounds per and 3++ save. my bad. Ratlings are still the ongoing champion.

Jokaero was proposed so the ratlings will fight the jokaero. Crunching

**Captain Joystick**

Tau Marker Drones will volunteer for tribute for the greater good.

Four of them. 32 points.

Wait, are they infantry?

**Audustum**

I will offer the humble Inquisitorial Acolyte.

Inquisition
Elite

**Marmatag**

Jokaero loses to Ratlings. It is a hard fought battle that takes 9 rounds but ultimately the jokaero dies to the remaining ~3 ratlings.

New Loser: Jokaero

need to step away. his statline is:

2 wd, str 2, t 2, 2 attacks, ws6+, save 5++. Points i can't post.

feel free to mathhammer and keep it moving while i'm away.

**Bobthehero**

Desubot wrote:
Should of called it the weenie roundup.

What bout the humble gretchen?

They'll win through sheer numbers vs the Ratlings

**daedalus**

Audustum wrote:
I will offer the humble Inquisitorial Acolyte.

Inquisition
Elite

I thought about those. With base 2 attacks and a chainsword they're stuck with, they're actually more effective than a lot of things would be. They'd probably beat out IG Veterans, for example.

**Arson Fire**

Joke answer: Spore Mines.
They have the weakest statline in the game. Even worse than gretchin. Buuut they don't get to use it because they always explode before the fight phase starts. So I'd say they don't count.

**Desubot**

I forget do servitors still have that mind lock thing?

**Sgt. Cortez**

The warp opens and spits out some flamers of Tzeentch.

**the_scotsman**

Sgt. Cortez wrote:
The warp opens and spits out some flamers of Tzeentch.

I know flamers aren't going to win, I flailed some fire warriors to death with them in my last game, and fire warriors already fell to the might of the suckmonkey.

Automatically Appended Next Post:
MV8 Missile Drone.

1 single S3 AP- WS5+ attack,
T4 4+ W1,

20 points.

**Desubot**

Arent Missile drones an upgrade that cant be taken as a unit?

Because if we are talking upgrades then there is always the mighty cherub from the sm dev unit.

**the_scotsman**

Desubot wrote:
Arent Missile drones an upgrade that cant be taken as a unit?

Because if we are talking upgrades then there is always the mighty cherub from the sm dev unit.

I'm not sure, maybe. I feel like Jokaero is *slightly* bending the "no characters" clause because he's basically a character, GW just derped and forgot to give him the rule. If we're talking "worst melee model for the points" then we get into models with upgrades and such. So maybe the drones are DQ'ed for that.

**Fifty**

I offer Cenobyte Servitors!

Far inferior to regular servitors.

**Leo_the_Rat**

I offer GK scouts. Oh wait....

**gnome_idea_what**

While it’s kind of rules-iffy due to it only being 2/3rds infantry, I nominate the zzap gun (with grot crew). 30 points gets you 2 S2 attacks at WS5+ and one S3 attack at 6+. Killing the grots disables the gun, so you only need to kill 2 grots to wipe a unit. Even if only one dies, morale is a problem too. The “movement as initiative” is a problem because while the grots have 5” movement, the gun has 3” movement so idk how that works.

Alternatively the Stompa is so horiffically overcosted and so mediocre in melee that it might lose to almost 1000 points of infantry chipping it down dealing more wounds than it over 10 turns.

**emptyhat**

Grots can maybe win ant swarm style but if they don't hit hard enough soon enough morale losses will swat them, right?