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Made in gb
Secret Inquisitorial Eldar Xenexecutor





Leeds, UK

Just had my first game of D&D at the weekend and loved it. I play an alcoholic flirtatious half elf bard. 'Coz why not?

Figured I wouldn't be a true Bard unless I wrote up a little epic of our thus far incomplete tale, thought I'd share it here

Round yon campfire, gather we four
A mismatch of beings, imprisoned by law
Rest weary hero, for freedom evades
And enjoy a brief poem, recounting our days

Onwards went Stor, determined and brave
To uniting our party, 'gainst monsters and knaves
Violetta, our Rogue, born of shadow & blade
And Grrt the Goliath in perpetual rage
Yours truly, The Bard, charismatic & fair
Sallied forth; Unto battle! Get out of the lair!

Alas, twas not easy! Many foes did we find
Perhaps too, an ally, and those left behind.

The trial began, with a number of guards,
Who'd think we could beat them, thanks to a penis (not large)
So onwards we venture, the the Thieves Guild we came
Our quest - a rescue! A true heroes game!

The trial began with a hall enchanment
Though twas beaten - by Stor! And his handsome companion...
The former did cry "Got it in one!" after seven
As he sent wooden door, up to furniture heaven

Grrt cracked a lock, whilst looking for stairs
Violetta - so stealthy! - spread bodies o'er there

Some fortune! At last! An old College friend
Aided us to bring rescue, to sweet happy end
Father & son, once reunited
Bestowed on us gifts, and up we alighted

In a brute show of force, Grrt acted as locksmith
To be greeted by Guards, and a strong smell of bum whiff!
Along came the dark, Violetta unleashed
Protecting our heroes, from arrows released

Yet aided by mage light, Stor finally proved
Capability with bow - a Guard was removed!
There was one more, with axe in a bone
gaking his pants, as Grrt charged in alone!
"To much!" they cried "Surrender! We give!"
Ever merciful, our heroes, the Guards they let live

Now 4 become 5 with a porn loving dragon
That book will be mine! After a flagon...

But trust does not come, as easy as breath
Thanks to halflings - THE SCUM - I swear that one death!

Next were the Gnolls, feasting on Guards
Grrt held the door, but the Gnolls had it jarred!
An almighty push, with warhammer in hand,
Flaming arrows! A piano?! On heads did they land!

Risking not undeath, as may be the case
Decapitations for corpses! As crew scoped the place.

More Gnolls - more arrows! Though Stor took one back
Violetta - ever stealthy - put bolt in to crack
Next room - a Guard - stinking of piss
Holding a body, a head would it miss!

So here is where my memory doth fail
Mayhap it be, due to too much ale?
I vaguely recall, many eyes all afloat
One paralyzed by laughter; my joke! Though I gloat...

Here did Bard part, til happier time,
When again we shall meet, and share in some wine!
My thanks companions, my bond is my word
Return, I shall! 'Coz the Warden's, a bird!

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2018/03/06 14:58:57


   
Made in ca
Longtime Dakkanaut




Building a blood in water scent

Ha! Beauty.

We were once so close to heaven, St. Peter came out and gave us medals; declaring us "The nicest of the damned".

“Anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that 'my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.'” 
   
 
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