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Made in vn
Growlin' Guntrukk Driver with Killacannon





Hello, I've noticed a few new users recently so I thought I'd just make this guide just for new users who are joining us for the first time. Remember, always follow these rules or you'll find it difficult to understand what is going on.

1) Even if you agree with the discussion you should disagree when posting.
2) If they tell you that they don't play your faction then they're a filthy Xenos and should never be trusted.
3) If they tell you that they do play your faction then they're obviously a lying filthy Xenos and should never be trusted.
4) Everyone plays Space Marines.
5) Nobody ever plays Space Marines.
6) If you see someone upset or complaining then it is common courtesy to be upset and complain about them being upset and complanining so they have another reason to be upset and complain.
7) You should always belive 40k is the worst game ever.
8) It is wrong to believe 40k has any flaws. Do not let the inquisitors ever see you complaining.
9) Orks are just the NPC faction so they're likely to say the same few lines over and over in the many threads. Just ignore them and let their dialogue tree run its course.
10) By the Holy Emperor you have the gift of knowledge! Everything you say or do is right and was blessed by the imperium itself. If anyone ever tries to prove you wrong with logic, facts, mathematical equations, evidence, well thought out analysis or official statements from GeeDubs themselves then they're obviously a flify Xenos and should never be trusted.

I personally found this guide to be very helpful on my journey here and I hope it helps you as well. Also remember these bonus rules:

11) Have fun and never let anyone put you down or upset you. We're all just a bunch of nerds who play with plastic toys so remember our life is just as pathetic as yours.
12) Guilliman (or as you many now reference him as Gull Face Man, Pappa Smurf, Roboat, Blue Pants of Shame man) sucks.

Those extra rules will cost you £25 so I expect the payment in the post.

Good luck!

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2018/06/12 07:56:13


 
   
Made in us
Hardened Veteran Guardsman






Who hurt you and what's their address? I'm warming up the orbital laser.
   
Made in ru
!!Goffik Rocker!!






13. Army you're playing is the worst in the game.
14. GW is incompetent and doesn't know how to write rules because of that one you don't particularly like.
   
Made in au
Deadshot Weapon Moderati





Newcastle NSW

15. Whatever GeeDub release is not the right thing and they should release models for my army before anything else

The Four Winds Tribe has returned to claim the Underhive for House Escher 
   
Made in us
Implaccable Grey Knight Paladin







16. I have consolidated rules 13-15 into one source as originally intended because we forgot to add them to the original ruleset. They are as follows:

13. Army you're playing is the worst in the game.
14. GW is incompetent and doesn't know how to write rules because of that one you don't particularly like.
15. Whatever GeeDub release is not the right thing and they should release models for my army before anything else

That will be 30 dollars.

 SHUPPET wrote:

wtf is this buddhist monk ascendant martial dice arts crap lol
 
   
Made in us
[DCM]
Bird from Hell






Sorry, I'm going to have to release Forums 8th Edition. Roll a D6, and then roll that many D6s. For every 6 roll a D3 and subtract D3 from the result, then roll that many D6s. Then roll a D6 and ignore the result. Roll another one, because rolling dice is fun. FORGE A NARRATIVE ABOUT MAKING YOUR POST.

What, you want actual rules so you can post? That will be another $50 for Forums Approved.

Laying low in a blood filled trench
Kill time 'til my very own death
On my face I can feel the falling rain
Never see my friends again

In the smoke, in the mud and lead
Smell the fear and the feeling of dread
Soon be time to go over the wall
Rapid fire and end of us all


SELL ME YOUR FORGEWORLD ATLAS 
   
Made in gb
Instigating Incubi




The dark behind the eyes.

 Peregrine wrote:
Sorry, I'm going to have to release Forums 8th Edition. Roll a D6, and then roll that many D6s. For every 6 roll a D3 and subtract D3 from the result, then roll that many D6s. Then roll a D6 and ignore the result. Roll another one, because rolling dice is fun. FORGE A NARRATIVE ABOUT MAKING YOUR POST.

What, you want actual rules so you can post? That will be another $50 for Forums Approved.


MOD: This post does not meet the minimum dice-rolling requirement. This is your last warning.

Akiasura wrote:
I hate to sound like a serial killer, but I'll be reaching for my friend occam's razor yet again.
 Andilus Greatsword wrote:

"Prepare to open fire at that towering Wraithknight!"
"ARE YOU DAFT MAN!?! YOU MIGHT HIT THE MEN WHO COME UP TO ITS ANKLES!!!"



 insaniak wrote:

You're not. If you're worried about your opponent using 'fake' rules, you're having fun the wrong way. This hobby isn't about rules. It's about buying Citadel miniatures.

Please report to your nearest GW store for attitude readjustment. Take your wallet.
 
   
Made in us
Morphing Obliterator





Always believe a plastic Thunderhawk is coming. No matter how many years you hear the same thing again and again.

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member. -Groucho Marx
One day... 
   
Made in vn
Growlin' Guntrukk Driver with Killacannon





I'll thunder your hawk.
   
Made in us
Terminator with Assault Cannon





Florida

17. Remember that the last edition of rules is always better than the newest edition, regardless of how much you bitched about the last edition.

(Rule #9 is epic. I laughed out loud.)

SickSix's Silver Skull WIP thread
My Youtube Channel
JSF wrote:... this is really quite an audacious move by GW, throwing out any pretext that this is a game and that its customers exist to do anything other than buy their overpriced products for the sake of it. The naked arrogance, greed and contempt for their audience is shocking.
= Epic First Post.
 
   
Made in gb
Bonkers Buggy Driver with Rockets






 lolman1c wrote:

9) Orks are just the NPC faction so they're likely to say the same few lines over and over in the many threads. Just ignore them and let their dialogue tree run its course.


*Incomprehensible screaming* WAAAAAGGGGHHH!!! Zoggin Git!

18. If you don't always roleplay on here in Orkish you aren't a real Ork!
19. If you don't act like your favourite army in real life you aren't a real fan of that army.
20. Be wary of Dark Eldar fans... particularly those who like the Haemonculus Covens.
   
Made in us
Regular Dakkanaut




Can we get the "Chapter Approved" stamp out? You truly captured the personality of dakkadakka
   
Made in ca
Lord of the Fleet






Halifornia, Nova Scotia

I love this thread.

21. Liberally apply orkmoticons whenever you disagree with someone. Nothing says "I'm here to have a polite and fact based discussion" like seven instances of or or .

Mordian Iron Guard - Major Overhaul in Progress

+Spaceship Gaming Enthusiast+

Live near Halifax, NS? Ask me about our group, the Ordo Haligonias! 
   
Made in de
Ladies Love the Vibro-Cannon Operator






Hamburg

40k: It costs your money, it costs your time, it costs your life (wife).

Former moderator 40kOnline

Lanchester's square law - please obey in list building!

Illumini: "And thank you for not finishing your post with a "" I'm sorry, but after 7200 's that has to be the most annoying sign-off ever."

Armies: Eldar, Necrons, Blood Angels, Grey Knights; World Eaters (30k); Bloodbound; Cryx, Circle, Cyriss 
   
Made in gb
Implacable Skitarii




UK

22. Rogue Trader edition was the be all and end all. No edition has topped it and none ever will.

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2018/06/12 15:02:31


Imperial Soup
2200pts/1750 painted
2800pts/1200 painted
2200pts/650 painted
217pts/151 painted 
   
Made in us
Walking Dead Wraithlord






23. If it is proven, mathematically to be 0.24% better at killing a Space Marine it's the best choice, everything else is "hot garbage" and you'd be stupid to take those options/models.

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2018/06/12 15:03:06


 
   
Made in fr
Regular Dakkanaut






24. No local meta exists. People always fight against full-on roflstomp armies piloted by raging douches and if you do not gear against that by taking 16 Imperial Guard battalions with you you are an idiot. Especially if you don't play imperial armies.
25. No narrative games exist, especially if someone says that's what they do and enjoy the most. They are filthy lying Xenos and must be purged. In a matched game, of course, because nothing else exists.

Heavily converted tall scaled 30k / 40k loyalist Death Guard blog here, C&C welcome https://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/717557.page 
   
Made in us
Skilled SDF-1 Pin-Point Barrier Jockey





Mississippi

Rule #4 is in error.

It should read:

4. Everyone owns Space Marines

This FAQ will be part of the next (4-month) delayed official FAQ.

It never ends well 
   
Made in vn
Growlin' Guntrukk Driver with Killacannon





 Stormonu wrote:
Rule #4 is in error.

It should read:

4. Everyone owns Space Marines

This FAQ will be part of the next (4-month) delayed official FAQ.


There is no errors. Space Marines are the best and everyone plays them. However, they also suck so i'm glad nobody here plays them.
   
Made in gb
Longtime Dakkanaut






In a Trayzn pokeball

Some filthy xenos changed rule 11.
Please fix in 5 separate FAQ that need to be brought along in addition to the BRB.

(but seriously can we just have a new BRB because I can't keep up with all the bloody FAQs. Years of nothing and now it's all too much)

This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at 2018/06/12 19:20:28


My hobby blog, weekly updates hopefully http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/641714.page#7702117
 JohnHwangDD wrote:
The hobby is actually hating GW.
 CREEEEEEEEED wrote:
I'm just here to play 40k and buy overexpensive paint and rattlecans man, I want no part in this sigmarine crap.
 
   
Made in pl
Swift Swooping Hawk





26. perfectly balanced point system encompassing all possible circumstances exists but those filthy Xenos keep it hidden in the Black Library
   
Made in ca
Chaplain with Hate to Spare





27. whenver possiable to make your point about about how aweful 40K is, you should always compare apples to orange by comparing a tabler top miniture game to a collectable card game such as magic the gathering, or a video game, such as star craft

Ultimately the power of an Inquisitor extends as far as he can make it extend 
   
Made in us
[DCM]
Abel





Washington State

28. Sisters of Battle players must always be pitied and allowed to win. Even when they lose. They are special players, and all special players win.
29. The Plastic Sisters of Battle are on the way!
30. The Sisters of Battle are being Squated.
31. There are, and there never has been, a Squat army. So saith the GeeDub.

Kara Sloan shoots through Time and Design Space for a Negative Play Experience  
   
Made in au
Anti-Armour Swiss Guard






Newcastle, OZ

28. Sister of battle PLAYER...

FTFY.

(I've never seen more than a singler SoB player at a time. It is my belief that they are all the same person wearing different maskes to give the appearance of different people.

There are more SoB cosplayers than there are actual army players - and they can both be counted on the fingers of one hand.

I'm 49.
Old enough to know better, young enough to not give a ****.


 
   
Made in au
Homicidal Veteran Blood Angel Assault Marine




Oz

Just fill out the form and move on.


 
   
Made in us
Long-Range Land Speeder Pilot




San Jose, CA

phillv85 wrote:
22. Rogue Trader edition was the be all and end all. No edition has topped it and none ever will.


I disagree, RT was the most play tested ever.
   
Made in us
Dark Angels Librarian with Book of Secrets






A Protoss colony world

This thread is awesome!

32. If you play anything other than bog standard maximum size squads (such as SM Tactical squads with Flamer and Missile Launcher), you are a filthy WAAC cheesemonger who is toxic to the game.
33. If you play those bog standard units because somehow you think that's fun, you are a scrub who should just take up another hobby, such as knitting.
34. 40k should be just as perfectly balanced as chess despite how many different units there are in the game. If you disagree, you are a filthy xenos and should be purged!
35. If another poster somehow disagrees with your assertion that your army has been shafted by GW, they are a filthy xenos and should be purged.

My armies (re-counted and updated on 6/7/18, including modeled wargear options):
Dark Angels: ~11200 | Space Marines (Blood Ravens and others): ~1100 | Space Wolves: ~2000
Inquisition: ~300 | Officio Assassinorum: ~500 | Talons of the Emperor: ~500
Tau Empire: ~6300 | Chaos Space Marines (various legions): ~8400 | Death Guard: ~2700 | Chaos Daemons (all types): ~2400
Check out my P&M Blogs: ZergSmasher's P&M Blog | Stormsurge blog | Imperial Knights blog | Total models painted in 2017: 65 | Total models painted in 2018: 80 | Current main painting project: Dark Angels Scouts
 Mr_Rose wrote:
Who doesn’t love crazy mutant squawk-puppies? Eh? Nobody, that’s who.
 
   
Made in us
Veteran Inquisitorial Tyranid Xenokiller





36. Pretend you remember Squats, even though most players haven't even seen them

37. Always whinge whenever a faction gets something new.

38. Whinge even if it's your faction.
   
Made in it
Fresh-Faced New User




Thanks, I really appreciate this
   
Made in ca
Chaplain with Hate to Spare





 Adeptus Doritos wrote:
36. Pretend you remember Squats, even though most players haven't even seen them

37. Always whinge whenever a faction gets something new.

38. Whinge even if it's your faction.

39: Remember all humans in power armor are space Marines, Space Wolves, Ultramarines, Blood angels, Custodes, all are the same army in a differant colour and if one gets new stuff thats the equivilant of them ALL getting new stuff and you should whine approperately.

Ultimately the power of an Inquisitor extends as far as he can make it extend 
   
 
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