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Picture this: You're sound asleep at night when your (now fully-sentient) models come to life, with the sole intention of killing you! They know that they are stored away in carry-cases (Or wherever you keep them), and are currently asleep. They can communicate according to fluff (So marines have a vox channel, Tyranids are all under the control of the hivemind, Cultists have to be close enough to talk to each other, etc).

For the purposes of this scenario lets assume that their equipment/weapons and bodies/armour all work correctly according to fluff. So they are protected by armour, but while weapons do work they are obviously less effective on you because you're huge by comparison. A plague knife would probably give you a fever or cold eventually. A battle cannon could take a few fist-sizes out of a wooden door.

Also, your armies won't try to kill each other, just for the sake of killing you.

So Dakka, how would you hold up against your own army? I would most likely be killed, unless I woke up from the sounds of the Daemon engines and Berzerkers/Orks coming for me. If my Night Lords managed to get a few flamers by my bedroom door and set it alight, Raptors could fly up to my face and blind me with plasma and melta guns. I don't have any super heavy models, so I think I could take them if I woke up before they got into place.

Why bother with tiny weapons, any single mini could choke a sleeping person.

 lord_blackfang wrote:
Why bother with tiny weapons, any single mini could choke a sleeping person.

This. All it takes if a miniature in your throat. Especially the spiky ones, which could get really lodged in your trachea.

I take if you've seen the film "Small Soldiers" and Toy Story and The Little Toaster?




Also if a regular battle cannon is taking chunks out of a wooden door - yeah you're dead.

Shouldn't have bought all those Starcraft minis...
"Nuclear launch detected."

 BobtheInquisitor wrote:
Shouldn't have bought all those Starcraft minis...
"Nuclear launch detected."

The Red Dot of DEATH! Run away!

Yep, even if we apply all the limitations as they're currently stashed (i.e. inside Pelican cases, etc.). I've left my current fleet of Eldar tanks on a painting desk, and they can fly. There's also a suspicious Typhon on the shelf nearby, and that things barrel is about .45cal or so.

I am just feeling sorry for anyone who has a Deathstrike in their house.

How about a Warlord Titan? An armored 8 year old with a bad attitude...

My Orks would destroy much of themselves trying to get out of their carry case I reckon.

Once they’re out I’d be in trouble though. The boss alone could easily slit my throat and I’ve literally hurt myself on some of the sharper minis when I wasn’t even trying.

I would assume that the deamonettes, slanneshi cultists and old old old school Bull headed Slannesh daemons I have lying around would cram my orifices and kill me that way.

CthuluIsSpy wrote:

 lord_blackfang wrote:
Why bother with tiny weapons, any single mini could choke a sleeping person.

This. All it takes if a miniature in your throat. Especially the spiky ones, which could get really lodged in your trachea.

I'd imagine you'd woke up once something touched your lips. Fly landing on face can wake you up, I'd imagine something trying to force way past your teeth would be even worse.

Overread wrote:Also if a regular battle cannon is taking chunks out of a wooden door - yeah you're dead.

Nope. That thing can't elevate the cannon worth a damn. Unless it can hit your ankle (which would be difficult seeing you can move faster than the cannon will traverse) it would need some serious high ground to be a threat. When simply climbing your bed would be almost impossible task for all 40K minis I can't see them doing much.

What would be dangerous though are all sorts of flyers (though only those that can turn without hitting walls), elite infantry, particularly with meltaguns, psykers, anything that can teleport (ironically making GK one of the most dangerous armies), vortex grenades and similar warp weapons, flamers (just set fire to as many things as you can and wait), anything that can target eyes with good accuracy and damage, and that's probably pretty much it...

 Mr. Burning wrote:
I would assume that the deamonettes, slanneshi cultists and old old old school Bull headed Slannesh daemons I have lying around would cram my orifices and kill me that way.

Going out with a smile?

There’s an Ordinatus Sagittar in my room.

My ass is grass.

If they all came to life with their full power and abilities (even at scale)? My house and probably everything else within 100 feet would be flattened. The combination of firepower, psychic energy, and magical forces that would be unleashed would likely leave a miniature Eye of Terror behind.

Dunno about coming to life and trying to kill me, my night goblins drew blood often enough, I'm sure I heard sniggering a few times as well

Does relative size have any bearing on psychic potential? Even if it did, couldn't Magnus the Red disintegrate your whole country?

I have several WFB Wizards. If they cast Purple Sun at my head, game over.


Automatically Appended Next Post:

 Mr. Burning wrote:
I would assume that the deamonettes, slanneshi cultists and old old old school Bull headed Slannesh daemons I have lying around would cram my orifices and kill me that way.

Depending on the orifice, it could be far worse than death...

Yep, that's enough firepower worth of neutron lasers sitting on a perfect sniping position on my desk. RIP me.

Not sure which is more worrying, minis coming to life or the fact someone thought to ask....

If they all work together (fortunately not likely ) I'm dead meat. In this room there are 80+ Death Guard, 2 tanks and aprox 20 assorted chaos under the bed, on the desk are 6 Ravenwing, 5 VBCW militia, 12 WWII Russian winter war troops, 8 deathwatch, 20 space marine (unpainted), 6 beastmen, 10 guard and a box of mixed metals. In the loft though... 150+ SM, 30 Harlequin, 100+ FI War Canadian and Iroquois, 40 Swedish 18th century troops, around 250 Orks and unknown quantity of others unpainted and/or part built. By weight alone the metals would crush me.

Between all of the armies of the house... Chaos Space Marines, Deamons, Deathwatch, Grey Knights, Tau, Harlequins, Eldars, Orks, Astra Militarum... I reckon said house is seriously compromised...

I mean this is not even up to date, not by at least 100 minis, including an Imperial knight, whose thermal cannon I would guess could hurt quite a bit...

Have you experienced the pain of a night goblin spear?

 Wunzlez wrote:
Have you experienced the pain of a night goblin spear?

Can't be as bad as a metal weirdboy on the toe followed by trying to find all the bits again.

Several lances worth of Imperial Knights. They'd take one look at me, declare me a giant in dire need of slaying and go to work hooting their war horns all the way.

I own a baneblade and multiple leman russes with Vanquisher cannons. Not to mention all my CSM stuff and renegade guard.

I'd imagine i would be swiss cheese.

 Wunzlez wrote:
Have you experienced the pain of a night goblin spear?

The old boxed set ones, that seemed purposefully designed to dig under your fingernails when picked up?

No. I've repressed all those memories.

They may try, but the jokes on them! I glued them together wrong, and they all break into pieces as they attempt to descend from their shelf.

Yes

 Wunzlez wrote:
Have you experienced the pain of a night goblin spear?

yes

*cries*

Come to think of it, if all my minis did come to life, they might decide to work together in completing their assembly and painting themselves, so that would be progress, I guess?