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Made in gb
Ridin' on a Snotling Pump Wagon






How do!

Because there is a time and a place for crap jokes. And this is it.

I’ll kick off.

What do Linda McCartney, Paul McCartney, Denny Seiwell, Denny Lane and Incom’s T-65B star fighter have in common?

They’re all X-Wings,

Fed up of Scalpers? But still want your Exclusives? Why not join us?

Pfizer vaccine administered 13:40pm 18 Feb 21. Still no second head. Second jab 13:35pm 6 May 2021. At the Masonic Hall. 
   
Made in gb
[DCM]
Storm Trooper with Maglight






Terrible. Well done.

Why did the baker wash his hands before he went to the toilet? He kneaded a poo.

My painting and modeling blog:

PaddyMick's Chopshop: Converted 40K Vehicles 
   
Made in gb
Aspirant Tech-Adept





Northumberland

Where does Napoleon keep his armies?

Up his sleevies!

One and a half feet in the hobby


My Adeptus Mechanicus Painting Log:
# The Explorator Fleet of Labrunnia IX #

 
   
Made in gb
Leader of the Sept







What is the scariest thing in the jungle?

Bam-BOO!

Please excuse any spelling errors. I use a tablet frequently and software keyboards are a pain!

Terranwing - w3;d1;l1
51st Dunedinw2;d0;l0
Cadre Coronal Afterglow w1;d0;l0 
   
Made in us
Skink Chief with Poisoned Javelins




Michigan

Why was the egg silly?

Because it was always cracking yolks!
   
Made in us
[DCM]
DCM User





There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator.

Only a fraction of people will find this funny
   
Made in gb
Longtime Dakkanaut



London

There are many variation of this joke. They extend the torture or not.

Rather than type it...
http://www.swil.org/JoelPage/purplejoke.html

Otherwise how do elephants hide in cherry trees?
Paint their toenails red.

How did Tarzan die?
Picking cherries.
   
Made in gb
Veteran Inquisitorial Tyranid Xenokiller





Watch Fortress Excalibris

Why do the French consider it greedy to eat more than one egg at a time?

Because one egg is always un oeuf.

A little bit of righteous anger now and then is good, actually. Don't trust a person who never gets angry. 
   
Made in gb
Hurr! Ogryn Bone 'Ead!





Why did the mushroom have lots of friends?

Cos he was a fun guy.
   
Made in gb
Ridin' on a Snotling Pump Wagon






Why did the weirdo cross the road?

They couldn’t get their knob out the chicken.

Fed up of Scalpers? But still want your Exclusives? Why not join us?

Pfizer vaccine administered 13:40pm 18 Feb 21. Still no second head. Second jab 13:35pm 6 May 2021. At the Masonic Hall. 
   
Made in gb
Leader of the Sept







Wow… that escalated quickly!

Please excuse any spelling errors. I use a tablet frequently and software keyboards are a pain!

Terranwing - w3;d1;l1
51st Dunedinw2;d0;l0
Cadre Coronal Afterglow w1;d0;l0 
   
Made in us
Longtime Dakkanaut





Myrtle Creek, OR

Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend.
Inside a dog it’s too dark to read

Thread Slayer 
   
Made in jp
Regular Dakkanaut






What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?

“Aye, matey!”
   
Made in us
Fixture of Dakka





El Torro wrote:
Why did the mushroom have lots of friends?

Cos he was a fun guy.


That joke was in spore taste...

CHAOS! PANIC! DISORDER!
My job here is done. 
   
Made in us
Grim Dark Angels Interrogator-Chaplain






A Protoss colony world

Why are children usually not allowed to go see pirate movies?
Because they are rated Arrr!

What happens when ducks fly upside down?
They quack up.

I once met a dyslexic devil-worshipper. He sold his soul to Santa.

If you're a person, time flies when you're having fun. If you're a frog, time's fun when you're having flies.

My armies (re-counted and updated on 4/26/22, including modeled wargear options):
Dark Angels: ~18000 | Space Marines (Blood Ravens and others): ~900 | Space Wolves: ~5000
Astra Militarum: ~800 | Adeptus Custodes: ~1100 | Imperial Knights: ~1300 | Sisters of Battle: ~4300
Check out my P&M Blogs: ZergSmasher's P&M Blog | Imperial Knights blog | Total models painted in 2021: 114 | Total models painted in 2022: 18 | Current main painting project: Imperial Knights
 Mr_Rose wrote:
Who doesn’t love crazy mutant squawk-puppies? Eh? Nobody, that’s who.
 
   
Made in gb
Aspirant Tech-Adept





Northumberland

My parents said they had to make a lot of sacrifices to pay for my education, because they were both druids.

One and a half feet in the hobby


My Adeptus Mechanicus Painting Log:
# The Explorator Fleet of Labrunnia IX #

 
   
Made in gb
Ridin' on a Snotling Pump Wagon






What’s brown and sticky?

A stick insect.

Fed up of Scalpers? But still want your Exclusives? Why not join us?

Pfizer vaccine administered 13:40pm 18 Feb 21. Still no second head. Second jab 13:35pm 6 May 2021. At the Masonic Hall. 
   
Made in gb
Leader of the Sept







What do you call a squiggly beast in a pile of leaves? Russel

Why did the troll swim upside down? I think it was so he didn’t stand on the fish.

What’s the difference between jumping on a squiggly beast and jumping on a trampoline? You need to take your boots off to jump on a trampoline.


Automatically Appended Next Post:
Why is the letter t very important to the Sticky Monster? Without it he is the sicky monster.

also I love the Druid gag

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2022/02/01 20:06:18


Please excuse any spelling errors. I use a tablet frequently and software keyboards are a pain!

Terranwing - w3;d1;l1
51st Dunedinw2;d0;l0
Cadre Coronal Afterglow w1;d0;l0 
   
Made in gb
Ridin' on a Snotling Pump Wagon






Massive props for everyone getting into the spirit and showing only the barest modicum, if, in a dark room, and you have a proper squint, and you’ve forgotten your corrective lenses of any description, good humour!

Fed up of Scalpers? But still want your Exclusives? Why not join us?

Pfizer vaccine administered 13:40pm 18 Feb 21. Still no second head. Second jab 13:35pm 6 May 2021. At the Masonic Hall. 
   
Made in gb
Fighter Ace




England

Argentina’s a lot colder than most people think. In fact you could say it’s bordering on Chile.

it's the quiet ones you have to look out for. Their the ones that change the world, the loud ones just take the credit for it. 
   
Made in gb
[DCM]
Storm Trooper with Maglight






Olthanan funniest so far imo

Doc that dick chicken joke is from Predator iirc

Ensis this one's for you

There's only ten types of people in this world; those who understand binary code and those that don't

My painting and modeling blog:

PaddyMick's Chopshop: Converted 40K Vehicles 
   
Made in us
[DCM]
DCM User





 PaddyMick wrote:


Ensis this one's for you

There's only ten types of people in this world; those who understand binary code and those that don't



Heh. . . funnily enough, I went to a follow-on school for my Occupational Specialty (aka, my job) in the army where our class had course shirts made with that quote on it

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2022/02/02 02:22:17


 
   
Made in us
Humorless Arbite





Maine

For those that doubt elephants hide in cherry trees I have one question. Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? No? It works.

Do you know why elephants have flat feet? From jumping out of cherry trees.

What's the crud between elephants called?

Slow people.

Voxed from Salamander 84-24020
 
   
Made in us
Battlefield Tourist




MN

This thread needs the Black-and-White Space Marine on the Black-and-White Bike.

Support Blood and Spectacles Publishing:
https://www.patreon.com/Bloodandspectaclespublishing 
   
Made in gb
Ridin' on a Snotling Pump Wagon






Can’t they just re-read your post ad infinitum?

Fed up of Scalpers? But still want your Exclusives? Why not join us?

Pfizer vaccine administered 13:40pm 18 Feb 21. Still no second head. Second jab 13:35pm 6 May 2021. At the Masonic Hall. 
   
Made in us
Stabbin' Skarboy





How did the mongols conquer their empire?

One Steppe at a time.

"Us Blood Axes hav lernt' a lot from da humies. How best ta kill 'em, fer example."
— Korporal Snagbrat of the Dreadblade Kommandos 
   
Made in us
Ork Boy Hangin' off a Trukk





Why does a milking stool have 3 legs?

The cow has the udder.
   
Made in us
The Conquerer






Waiting for my shill money from Spiral Arm Studios

Why was the possum laying flat in the middle of the road?

He got tire-d!

Self-proclaimed evil Cat-person. Dues Ex Felines

Cato Sicarius, after force feeding Captain Ventris a copy of the Codex Astartes for having the audacity to play Deathwatch, chokes to death on his own D-baggery after finding Calgar assembling his new Eldar army.

MURICA!!! IN SPESS!!! 
   
Made in gb
Tzeentch Veteran Marine with Psychic Potential




dorset

"whats a pirates favourite letter?"

"R!"

"nay, 'tis the C they love!"

must be said with a strong west country/"pirate" accent

Then it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an` Tommy, 'ow's yer soul? "
But it's " Thin red line of 'eroes " when the drums begin to roll
The drums begin to roll, my boys, the drums begin to roll,
O it's " Thin red line of 'eroes, " when the drums begin to roll.
"Tommy", Rudyard Kipling
Exporitor force kappa-Tercia 500pts Coven of XVth 1000pts
Western Host 1500 pts Watch Company Rho 1000pts
 
   
Made in pl
Wicked Warp Spider





Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine.
   
 
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