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The God Emperor is Al Bundy. He just wants to sit and watch TV and for Peg and the kids to shut up.

The Emperor's policy is "Bros before hos".

Back in his fraternity days he was an animal.

Why have a nagging wife when you can pick and choose whoever you like for the bedchamber and then send them off again honored to serve the Big E? Might have had a harem of his favorites around but Big E enjoyed being a bachelor
-edit this theory works just well whatever his preference might have been

I assume the reason the emperor never had an emperess is that he doesn't tell anyone his name. As per prospero burns chaos can't get you if they don't know your name, also his partner is a target and allthat stuff about how you don't want to see more loved ones die after a few hundred years.

Any kids the emperor would have wouldn't be a primarch they'd have the potential for psycic powers and all that but primarchs are more or less clones of daddy.

they simply call her the plot hole... pun intended

Holy_doctrine wrote:Well, I hate to sound like this but what would be the point? To watch your loved one age before your eyes as you remain young and healthy, and to see them perish?

If he can create an non-aging genetically modified army of superfreak men, surely he can create a superfreaky non-aging genetically modified woman? Or change one to be as such? Or give her lots of rejuvenation treatments?

Wouldn't he be using his own gene-seed/DNA for his genetically enhanced super wife? That would be...weird.

Um, because he's the smartest man that ever lived?

SlaveToDorkness wrote:Um, because he's the smartest man that ever lived?

Smart people get lonely too.


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asimo77 wrote:Wouldn't he be using his own gene-seed/DNA for his genetically enhanced super wife? That would be...weird.

Weirder than creating a race of all-male, bald, aging, musclebound superbeings that reproduces by implanting their "geneseed" into drugged up young boys?

Yes, but do smart people subject themselves to an eternity with the same person or losing half of their Imperium of Man?

SlaveToDorkness wrote:Yes, but do smart people subject themselves to an eternity with the same person or losing half of their Imperium of Man?

Yes?

The answer is obvious, my friends: the Emperor is hopelessly awkward and has the social grace of a dead squirrel.

You think it was bad when you accidentally touched that cute girl's boob? When the Emperor did it, He accidentally crushed her sternum. Another time, He blinded a cute blonde with His holy aura. The only woman the Emperor got close to scoring with got pulverized by His massive pelvis.

Poor Emperor.

Hawkward wrote:The only woman the Emperor got close to scoring with got pulverized by His massive pelvis.

He did what now to his daughter?! Sanguinius always seemed so happy.. who could've known there was a history of abuse?

the Emperor wasn't happy about Sanguinious's liasons with Corax, so he decided to teach her a "lesson"

but the Emperor didn't find out about Corax and Sanguinious's child untill years later.

Grey Templar wrote:the Emperor wasn't happy about Sanguinious's liasons with Corax, so he decided to teach her a "lesson"

but the Emperor didn't find out about Corax and Sanguinious's child untill years later.

Now that I think about it.. the Emperor was a right evil bastard. Just look at that time he let his pet mutant-witch-cyclops-thing get mauled by a vicious pack of space puppies.

It's no wonder there was a heresy.. Horus found out about all this abuse and decided to rebel. But the big E, being the evil bastard that he was, used his daughter as a meat shield, resulting in Horus accidentally killing her.

Maybe he has a wife. A wife who is secretly running the whole imperium... now that would be interesting.

gaovinni wrote:Maybe he has a wife. A wife who is secretly running the whole imperium... now that would be interesting.

Nobody's running the Imperium. It's a free-for-all between different organizations and sects - just like modern-day Earth.

Darkvoidof40k wrote:

gaovinni wrote:Maybe he has a wife. A wife who is secretly running the whole imperium... now that would be interesting.

Nobody's running the Imperium. It's a free-for-all between different organizations and sects - just like modern-day Earth.

Maybe she wants everybody to think that nobody is running the Imperium.

gaovinni wrote:

Darkvoidof40k wrote:

gaovinni wrote:Maybe he has a wife. A wife who is secretly running the whole imperium... now that would be interesting.

Nobody's running the Imperium. It's a free-for-all between different organizations and sects - just like modern-day Earth.

Maybe she wants everybody to think that nobody is running the Imperium.

Yes.. so that whilst everybody is busy thinking nobody is running the Imperium, she can be off not running the Imperium and instead going on endless shopping sprees and other pointless shenanigans understood only by the female gender of our race.

Darkvoidof40k wrote:

gaovinni wrote:

Darkvoidof40k wrote:

gaovinni wrote:Maybe he has a wife. A wife who is secretly running the whole imperium... now that would be interesting.

Nobody's running the Imperium. It's a free-for-all between different organizations and sects - just like modern-day Earth.

Maybe she wants everybody to think that nobody is running the Imperium.

Yes.. so that whilst everybody is busy thinking nobody is running the Imperium, she can be off not running the Imperium and instead going on endless shopping sprees and other pointless shenanigans understood only by the female gender of our race.

Exactly.

Well seriously I don't really think he ever had any interest like that at any point. He was too busy with creating the Imperium and such.

Weirder than creating a race of all-male, bald, aging, musclebound superbeings that reproduces by implanting their "geneseed" into drugged up young boys?

Well assuming he didn't have sex with his SM's and he will have intercourse with his created wife, then yes it's a whole lot weirder. It's like incest maybe?

I really can't imagine intercourse with Big E'. I mean...I'm a guy...but imagine being humped into smush and blasted by...you know.... the size of heavy bolter rounds!

Maybe having a wife would make the emperor seem "too human" and not a god?

gaovinni wrote:Maybe he has a wife. A wife who is secretly running the whole imperium... now that would be interesting.

No but she's getting half of it in court!

BUH DUM TISH!!


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Jaon wrote:I really can't imagine intercourse with Big E'. I mean...I'm a guy...but imagine being humped into smush and blasted by...you know.... the size of heavy bolter rounds!

Hey, some chics in real life fancy horses.

Not saying all of 'em live though...

tigonesskay wrote:Maybe having a wife would make the emperor seem "too human" and not a god?

The Emperor never wanted to be seen/worshipped as a God.

He obviously prefered harems. Look at all the Sensei up and about.

King Pariah wrote:He obviously prefered harems. Look at all the Sensei up and about.

Nah. Only had sex once. He just has litters.

Nightbringer's Chosen wrote:

King Pariah wrote:He obviously prefered harems. Look at all the Sensei up and about.

Nah. Only had sex once. He just has litters.

Are you saying *shudders* Octo-mom?

That's where the whole 'Exterminate the Xenos' thing comes from.

HE once met a nice eldar and fell in love. One he found out the she eldar was a he, it all fell apart.

Cue shower scene and the Emp crying his eyes out. Then killing every alien he can get his hands on.