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**ineptus astartes**

Mark walked upstairs and into his room. Sitting down on his bed he began to bandage his bolter’ed legs. “damn chaos.” He muttered before noticing the tau again. “oh. Yeah. I have a question”
“Yes?”
“Why the hell are you here?”

**Kasrkai**

Anthony led his team of three in the dark city of detergent and drain fluid. He light up a torch light and descended deeper into the cabinet. He heard an insect chitter near the end of the cabinet, and had Leo advance. Leo took fifteen full steps ahead, caught between a can of Lysol and a bottle of Febreeze. He turned left, then right, and finally turned to give the clear when it struck. A shiny black flash, and Leo was shoved out of view screaming. Jeremy and Thomas advanced, and took up position where Leo had stood, and opened fire with their hellguns on something just behind the Lysol, out of sight. Anthony advanced to their position, just as he caught sight of three more creatures, giant roaches, enter from a corner in the rear of the cabinet. He opened fire, seven las shots tearing open the first. The second roach leaped before he could react, but was swiftly shredded by hellgun fire from behind the Lysol, Leo. The third had been some how smarter, and veered around and his Thomas from the side. Thomas was ready for this, however, and grabbed the roach by the mandibles, twisting his torso as he did, and threw it into the Febreeze, where the volume of fire from three hellguns pinned it to the wall and tore it open and apart.

"Leo!" Anthony called, swiftly dodging between his squad members and tearing around the corner of the Lysol. Leo was fine, only minor bumbs from the harsh landing, with the torn corpse of the roach beside him. Anthony sighed his relief, then regained his composure.

"Alright," he said. "Let's get back to the others, see if they managed a signal."

With that, he and his squad retraced back to the others, Hellguns raised in anticipation this time.

**lord commissar klimino**

vio replied "well color giver,i dont know why. i awoke in some black box and shot my way out. now we care mearly trying to survive,and hopefully all the giant food from the white box will help us for awhile. oh,and maybe those humans we locked in that cave can tell us were to get water...may we leave now?"

**ineptus astartes**

nice. roaches are a pain. bout the size of surfboards to those guys right?

**TrollPie**

Yarrick looked out upon the wet grass.
Though the rain obscured his vision, a good pair of bino's and a strong flashlight gave him a clear view of the events.
It seemed the Kriegsmen were confronting the odd-looking soldiers. Picking up his megaphone, he yelled out:
"Soldiers of Krieg, this is Lord Commissar Yarrick and the Armaggedon 259th. We wish to aid you in your purge of Xenos and Heretics. I believe a Major Kern commands this battle group. May I speak to him?"
Yarrik was told to go meet him and the leader of the strange humans. As soon as he met him, he asked the leader a single question.
"Do you respond to the call-to-arms of the God Emporer of Mankind, and wish nothing more than to lay down your life in His service?"
A moment of pause, and then muffled laughter.
"Do I what to the what?"

There was a moment of shocked silence, before 500 Imperial Guardsmen reached for their weapons at once.

**ineptus astartes**

Mark stared. "uhhh sure."

as the tau left he realized that the minis themselves had come to life. he KNEW he shouldn't have accepted that can of paint from that chinese guy on the street.

this was turning out just like some damn thread on dakka...

**Kasrkai**

ineptus astartes wrote:nice. roaches are a pain. bout the size of surfboards to those guys right?

Just throwing in some action for my guys until someone wants me for their Guard army. I don't like having a big army, so I just stuck with 6 REALLY skilled and tough guys. That OK?

**TrollPie**

Kasrkai wrote:
ineptus astartes wrote:nice. roaches are a pain. bout the size of surfboards to those guys right?

Just throwing in some action for my guys until someone wants me for their Guard army. I don't like having a big army, so I just stuck with 6 REALLY skilled and tough guys. That OK?

You could join the platoon heading to you, responding to your distress signal. You could act as an independent commando arm of it.
We just need to explain what you were fighting when Yarrik recieved a distress call. Panicking during the Giant Roach attack?

**ineptus astartes**

yeah sure (i gave you a thunderhawk transport too in the army list)

**WARORK93**

With each word that came out of the man's mouth, Kyerzak became more and more agitated. Finally with that last quip about the Emperor he became quite furious.

"You dare to blaspheme against the master of Mankind?!?!" He said incredulously, pulling out his hellpistol and beginning to aim it at the human. Kern stopped him with a wave of his hand, all of the human soldiers behind the man began aiming their own weapons, Kern's men began to aim theirs, Kern quickly realized a single shot could ignite a firefight that would see them all dead.

"Commissar..." He began in an authoritative tone. "Please go make sure the men are kept in line, I will remind you that no shots are to be fired unless I give the order."

"Yes, Major." The Commissar said holstering his pistol and turning to leave. Kern watched him go and turned back to the soldier. He regarded him for a moment and decided a simpler approach might work.

"I apologize for my Commissar's quick temper, but it seems we have had a misunderstanding. I command the third battalion of my regiment and no we are not from this planet you call England, we hail from Krieg in service to Terra and the Imperium of man."

Kern turned towards the Stormblade as the human officer, or so he presumed him to be an officer, pointed to it. "That, my friend is a gift from the Mechanicus, an engine of war designed with the express purpose of killing, A beauty is she not?"

A moment of silence passed between the two.

"But I'm afraid I cannot delay here any longer, I have orders to deploy my forces in this zone and we have yet to reach a defendable area. I'm afraid I haven't gotten your name or rank yet though..."

Before the two could talk any further, He was alerted to a rather large force of other imperial guard coming up on his flank, they were steel legion and were lead by none other than Commissar Yarrick himself who asked the human very bluntly if he served the Emperor...

When the man answered unsurely, many troops became very very wary of these humans who were vastly outnumbered.

"And so the misunderstanding grows..." Was all Kern managed to say, now very confused...

EDIT: "Do I what the what?"

**lord commissar klimino**

as vio entered the kitchen he was happy to see the floating island ad some defenses and barricades up. he looked over to see 2 broadsides holding the cave closed. as he and his men were lifted up onto the island,vio told his commanders what had happened.
"so...there is some giant beast running about now..ill tell everyone to be on alert now." as the warrior ran off,vio sat back and reviewed the new map drawn on some soft paper (napkins) they had found.
"are next move will be-why is it kinda cold?"
"its the hole in the white boxits letting out very cold air."
"huh,well anyways get those broadsides some help,i want to get those humans in that cave alive." as he looked over to the cave about 2 minutes later,the broadsides opened the cave and 1 team of pathfinders,3 broadsides (including the 2),2 kroot rider teams,and 1 warrior team aimed in and said "dont move or we shhot all of you! come out were we can see you!"

**Kasrkai**

(((Good, that works)))

Anthony and his team met no more resistance on the way back. A good thing, as these Hellguns were awful to ammo and parts. The rest of his team was right where he left them, except Derick had his helmet off, his bald head wet with sweat and face grim. Anthony approached optimistically.

"What did you get, Derick?"

He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, slightly lost for words.

"Well, sir, two things. One, I put out a signal, and a Guard regiment said they'd stop by."

Anthony nodded slowly.

"And the other?" he asked, less sure now.

Derick took on a pained expression.

"Well sir, Tau locked us in."

Anthony was dumbstruck.

"Repeat that for me."

"Tau forces locked us in, sir. Saw them, but before I could react, they pushed the door closed. We tried to push it open, but they're holding it fast."

Anthony had had enough for today. He pulled out two melta bombs and tossed them to Leo.

"Set those, trooper. Don't prime 'em yet. On the door, near the hinges. Rest of you, grab some cover, and get ready. You know what to do."

His men nodded and took up cover positions behind any box or bag the could find, save for the Lysol. He himself held the trigger for the bombs. All he needed now was a chance. As if on que, the door opened, and in stepped Tau forces. Substantial, including Kroot mercs and battle suits. His men didn't need an order, they snapped down in there cover, out of sight.

He hit the button.

The melta-bombs did their magic, the door creaked as hinges melted, then fell. He wasn't enough to hurt the forces out side, a spare suit outside easily propping it, but it was enough. The fire team, kroot, and suits turned their attention, only the pathfinders keeping their stance. Anthony shouted the order, and his men dashed out of their cover, descending back into the cabinet. The pathfinders left no time to spare, pulse carbines screaming over their heads as they slowly advanced. A moment later, the other Tau caught on, rail-guns and kroot rifles snapping into action. Behind him, Anthony saw his men return fire, dropping a few kroot and fire warriors. Leo jumped suddenly, a rail-gun shout narrowly missing him. The pause was enough for a sharp shot to catch his arm, as Leo screamed in pain. He didn't slow down however, and merely switched his hellgun to the other hand. They turned a corner, out of sight of the Tau, for now.

**ineptus astartes**

“Leutnant Daniel Shatner.” Said the Ranger. “75 united states Rangers battalion. Scout convoy.” He searched his pockets for his documented orders, then remembered he had used the paper as a rollup. “well my orders are to remove Al-queda presence from my area of fallujah province, wich was supposed to be a village named rajistan, but seems to be F****ing ‘Nam” as an afterthought he added “And this planets name Is Earth, England is a country name. your accent sounded english.”
Turning to the other man he said “whoa! You’re eye…didn’t mom tell you not to play with sticks?”

**ineptus astartes**

(kasrkai...there is a hole way back under the sink that the rats use to get into the pantry.)

**lord commissar klimino**

(my pathfinder all have railgunsaka sniper like things)

as vio hit the ground and ran up to the fight,he yelled "how many casualties?"
"not many,2,3. another 1 or 2 injuries." slightly angry,vio yells.
"we gave you a chance to surrender and live,but now you must pay. open fire! bring a hammerhead and bomb them with grenades." pulling out to grenades,vio activates and tosses them in while he hears a tank coming in and sees heavy fire and grenades fly into the cave. "your mistake was firing 1st and not giving peace a chance. "

**ineptus astartes**

RUN KASR! RUN!

**WARORK93**

Kern regarded the man who introduced himself as a lieutenant, more importantly, he shared his orders with Kern, who, not seeing much that the two had in common language wise, but seeing no reason to treat them as hostile, simply shrugged.

"Well then, it seems our two forces have separate orders, I will wish you good luck on your mission as well as the Emperor's benevolence." He said turning back towards his forces.

"Commissar Yarrick, if you are done threatening the natives, we have a base to set up and some heretics to kill." He said to the Commissar as he returned to his tank.

And so, on Kern's orders, his men moved out past the small force of strange attired humans. Kern threw one last salute and the battalion moved out.

"Do you think that's the last of them we'll see?" Kyerzak asked.

"Possibly, maybe we'll end up fighting together one day, despite out confusion don't believe they were hostile." Kern answered as he retook his position at the top of his tank and continued looking out at the desert with his binoculars.

**lord commissar klimino**

ineptus astartes wrote:RUN KASR! RUN!

(funny thing is,if you look at my troops,my island is still very well defended while he is completely overpowered

)

**Kasrkai**

"... firing first, and not giving peace a chance." Anthony pulled his team back even further. For all there preaching of peace, the Tau were some of the worst foes, unless of course you were a Space Marine. He looked desperately for an exit, when he saw the hole. He imagined it was a tunnel some pest had made. He calmed down and turned to his men.

"Alright, here's the deal. We can make a stand and hope the Guard Regiment arrives to help, or we can try for that tunnel.

Jeremy piped in this time.

"I vote the tunnel, sir. If it leads anywhere, it leads to everywhere. Remember, like in the trenches of Kethes IV? Took me days to burn out the damn bugs."

The others nodded their agreement, and Anthony gave the order. One by one, his Stormtroopers, best of the best, piled into the hole to run. He himself jumped in as Leo paused. Leo then turned and started:

"You know what? Feth you Tau, talking about peace and gak with big ass guns pointed at our heads. You can take those railguns, and shove 'em up the hole and pull the trigger! HA!"

He then piled in the hole after Anthony. That would call for some disciplinary action.

**Kasrkai**

lord commissar klimino wrote:
ineptus astartes wrote:RUN KASR! RUN!

(funny thing is,if you look at my troops,my island is still very well defended while he is completely overpowered )

Pffff... Imma Kasrkin. I balance my numbers and power. I'd prefer remembering my 6 superheroes than 5000 cannon fodder. Plus, I like the whole commando thing. Besides, I could have said the cabinet smashed all you troops, but I didn't

**ineptus astartes**

kasrkin this is you:

land warrior segeant Sam Darwin was surprised as the six men rounded the cornor and almost bumped into the SAW operator, Lawrence. But he raised his weapon anyways, “name and rank?” asked the supercommando slowly.

**Kasrkai**

Anthony was caught off guard by the strange soldier. He was clearly human, but his gun was a strange heavy stubber, and his armor amounted to cloth.

"Kasrkin Sgt. Anthony, eighth company, Cadian 316th. And who are you to address me so?"

**lord commissar klimino**

vio called for a stop of the attack and sent in 3 kroot. they came back and said that the humans had escaped through a tunnel.then one fainted form all the chemical fumes made by all the liquids they had blasted out of containers. "move back to the island,all those chemicals will stop them from using that entrance...unless they have gas masks." as vio landed on the island and grabbed some lunch,he looked around.they had a fully operational base and very good barricades set up. "let us hope were safe. everyone,be on alert.no scouting for now.stay on the island and await further command.anyone who comes in this room who is obviously not a friendly face,kill them."

**Kasrkai**

((I'm gonna be gone for about half an hour. Don't kill me or nuthin'.)))

**ineptus astartes**

“Land-warrior segeant Darwin. One-oh-one airborne” replied the trooper, scanning for a genetic match in the data files that contained every member of the US army with his flip out eye computer. No match came up. “I don’t know of any ‘kasrkin’ or canadian units here. But I’ll escort you to our firebase under the jurisdiction of the united states military force.”

**ineptus astartes**

I am gonna be online for about half an hour more then its bedtime (waking up time for some here...) so I will check in the morning (a few hours) after I go to bed.

**Kasrkai**

Anthony shook his head softly.

"No time for that. I don't know you, I don't recognize your regiment, and I know for sure that the primitive stuff you're wearing ain't gonna help a bit against a railgun. So, if you don't mind, I'll have to deny your service. Unless of course, you can find another Imperial Guard force. In that case, I'll come."

**ineptus astartes**

Mark walked downstairs. He had gotten the amaricans and british troops into his room, but had heard gunfire from the kitchen. Storming in he saw the hole in the fridge. “what the hell?!?!!?” the cabinet door was melted off of his hinges. “wtf?” he asked the tau and said to him. “Moving base. Now!”

**ineptus astartes**

“Guard? You mean those nuts who were screaming about purging? Yeah, we know em.”

**lord commissar klimino**

vio was shocked. "but color giver,we cant move now. we have already spent time into making theses defenses. and besides,the humans shot 1st,and blew off the doors.we just shot into there to try and kill them for it." picking up the map vio looked it over. "hmmm,if you carry us were we want,we promise to try to kill are enemies less explosively."