corrupt a wish!

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**Hawky**

Granted. It's cheap, awful American beer, not a good, rich and amazingly tasting Czech or German beer.

I wish for a fast internet.

**BigWaaagh**

Granted! But it's "fast", back woods rural, Czech Republic internet, not that blazingly fast American Silicon Valley goodness!

I wish Bat Boy was real.

**snurl**

Granted. He lives in your dreams each night.

I wish to find a good excuse.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted, the russians laced it with their special anti-protester ingredients.

I wish to be the smarterz

**gruebot**

GRANTED! Autocorrect changed your wish to "Smarties". POOF! your a little hard candy wafer roll.

I wish for Coka Cola & Mentos...

**ChargerIIC**

Granted, but Coka contains actual cocaine and you are now a suspect in a drug smuggling scheme.

I wish to move Albuquerque, New Mexico to Argentina

**snurl**

Granted. But you make a wrong turn, being from Albuquerque, and wind up in Texas.

I wish to find an honest contractor.

**gruebot**

GRANTED! He does absolutely horrible work be at least he's honest about it.

I wish the new Predator movie had a better story...

**ChargerIIC**

Granted. It's now a 6 hour epic with only 20 minutes of explosions/combat. The senate scenes are compelling.

I wish for an everlasting gobstopper

**snurl**

Granted. You drop it out of your mouth accidently on to the sand.

I wish for a motorcycle.

**Hawky**

Granted. It's waiting for you in the seller's garage in Nizhneyansk.

I wish for a chocolate bar.

**gruebot**

GRANTED! Its shaped like a veiny 10 inch penis.

I wish for a bag of donuts...

**snurl**

Granted. They were fresh when Nixon was president.

I wish for nice weather.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted. It comes with Bees.

I wish for my laptop battery to start working again.

**Lupus Mortem**

Granted. It explodes after 1 hour of use.

I wish that chicken in the kitchen would fry itself.

**snurl**

Granted. But it does not remove it's feathers before doing so.

I wish for lunch.

**Lupus Mortem**

Granted, blood sausage it is. Mmm pig blood & oatmeal.

I wish the new Warhammer Underworlds core set was out today.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted, but your copy is drowned in haggis

I wish for to go back in time before Unity broke my damn project

**kastelen**

Granted, but you're back to the moment where you selected or clicked the thing that messed everything up.

I wish BCB's signature was shorter.

**snurl**

Granted. It is now spelled out in emojis.

I wish for better TV shows.

**gruebot**

GRANTED! They're all Friends spin-offs starring David Schwimmer as the main character.

I wish more people were playing Titanicus...

**Lupus Mortem**

Granted. They are (honestly) here in Las Vegas but when you come here to play you blow 100% of your financial worth at the casinos and later have to sell your Titanicus stuff just to eat.

I wish to eat chips & salsa off Gal Gadot's belly.

**BigWaaagh**

Granted! It only happens, though, when Gal Gadot is 92 and her skin is as crunchy as the chips and the wrinkles on her belly cause the salsa to run like red, spicy rivlets down her sides.

I wish I could get that image out of my mind...

**snurl**

Granted. You see David's Schwimmer.

I wish for a new way to cause fear.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted, but it terrifies you to your core.

I wish I could be in two places at once.

**Hawky**

Granted. You met a guillotine.

I wish to be able to travel in time.

**Lupus Mortem**

Granted. The one time you can travel to is 4.5 billion years ago but you'll be there just in time to see the formation of the Moon. Don't mind the atmosphere being ripped away and the huge celestial impact.

I wish my wife's BFF wasn't coming to visit and sleep on my couch.

**gruebot**

GRANTED! Your wife's BFF is coming to visit and sleep on your bed. You have to sleep on the couch.

I wish people would stop running red lights...

**Hawky**

Granted. All traffic lights are removed. Nobody can run on a red light.

I wish to own an APC.

**Lupus Mortem**

Granted you now own an Autistic Personal Chef.

I wish someone would publish the perfect science fiction skirmish-level wargame.