corrupt a wish!

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**BigWaaagh**

Granted! Too bad somebody else ate it.

I wish Melania would come in and fish slap Donnie in the Oval Office while he's mumbling and stumbling through a press conference.

**snurl**

Granted. But the secret service jump in the way, the fish hits an agent instead, foiling the greatest plan ever.

I wish to see that on the TV news.

**gruebot**

GRANTED! It causes you to go blind

I wish I could afford LASEK...

**ChargerIIC**

Granted, but it's been banned in favor of trepanation.

I wish I received a massive raise

**Thunderforge**

Granted, they now pay you TWO peanuts.

I wish the dice were my friends.

**snurl**

Granted. They abandon you eventually.

I wish to see Ozzy live in concert.

**BigWaaagh**

Granted! But after a few chords of the first song his voice goes completely, fortunately his daughter is back stage and happily volunteers to sing the entire set...aren't you lucky!

I wish I had some fresh, home-made guacamole right now.

**snurl**

Granted. It is being used as bait in a bear trap out back. Feel lucky?

I wish to begin a digital music collection.

**Lupus Mortem**

Granted. The only free or low-cost music from here on is Justin Bieber concert bootleg recordings.

I wish I could see videos of Slayer beating up Justin Bieber.

**Thunderforge**

Granted. Inexplicably the self defence lessons the young Mr Bieber had render the members of Slayer unable to play and thus end their music career.
(As a metaller I feel ashamed having just written that)

I wish to see Zak Wilde beat up Justin Bieber. (Hoping he’ll do a better job of it)

**Lupus Mortem**

Granted. Zakk Wylde continues afterwards on an incredible Hulk-like beating rampage and is put down by the US Army. Your wish has killed Zakk Wylde.

I wish that girl with the blue hair from The Agonist & Arch Enemy would agree to be my concubine.

**BigWaaagh**

Granted! Unfortunately after squiring her back to your abode, you decide to dash out to pick up some libations and fall into an open manhole. At your funeral she meets me, we hit it off and becomes my concubine. Thanks for the assist.

I wish I had a brother like Dustin Hoffman's character in 'Rain Man'...hello, Vegas!

**ChargerIIC**

Granted, but people like him more than you. Now you are alone.

I wish I owned all the books

**gruebot**

GRANTED! You are trapped in a tiny space between all the books. You will eventually starve to death.

I wish to have dinner at the restaurant at the end of the universe...

**snurl**

Granted. But when you get there it's closed due to remodelling and won't reopen for another six weeks.

I wish to see the baby.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted. You see the baby in your dreams. When you are awake. As an everpresent phantom just in the corner of your eye. Always there. Always judging. It's put a real damper on your romantic life.

I wish I could be a mars colonist.

**gruebot**

GRANTED! You are well on your way to Mars when it is destroyed by Aliens!

I wish I had gotten the Eisenhorn model...

**BigWaaagh**

Granted! You buy mine for $100,000.

I wish my eyesight now was good as it was when I was 20.

**Lupus Mortem**

Granted but it comes with being as broke as you were when you were 20. Enjoy that ramen.

I wish Fonzie had never jumped over the shark.

**snurl**

Granted. His show was cancelled long before then.

I wish to create happiness.

**gruebot**

GRANTED! You process a large batch of ecstacy and are arrested shortly after.

I wish illegal warehouse raves weren't illegal...

**ChargerIIC**

Granted, but the resultant OD corpses are dropped of at your doorstep each morning.

I wish I had the ability to duplicate miniatures by pointing at them.

**Lupus Mortem**

Granted but you have no control over where the duplicates appear. Some Dude in Malaysia has a bunch of cool miniatures now.

I wish the Pacific Rim sequel opened today

**gruebot**

GRANTED! Pacific Rim 2 opened yesterday at one theatre in Syria.

I wish my dogs could talk...

**ChargerIIC**

Granted. They soon realize you don't have their best interests in mind and plot to kill and eat you.

I wish I had a steak

**Lupus Mortem**

Granted. You have no fire to cook it with.

I wish I could take an annual trip to Fort Knox to get as much gold as I can carry.

**snurl**

Granted. But the guard dogs don't like the idea at all.

I wish for more variety.

**ChargerIIC**

Granted. I've given you 30 different versions of the Clap.

I wish to be able to fly

**gruebot**

GRANTED! You can fly but only to work on Monday mornings.

I wish I didn't have hay fever...

**BigWaaagh**

Granted! You now have Dengue Fever.

I wish I could get a bit more enthused about finishing the painting on my Adepticon army.