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Part of me wants to say (in a friendly, well meaning tone of voice, of course) "Page 5. grow a pair. stand up for yourself, and for what you enjoy doing. because you know what? you're doing nothing wrong. you've got nothing to be ashamed of, or to apologise for."

but to answer your question properly, i find my irish accent helps. only thing that beats having an irish accent is having morgan freeman narrate your daily routine. (and even then, if he could do it in an irish accent, we would all be elevated to a plane of existence best described as pure awesomeness)

but seriously. im a 27 year old guy. tall. well built. fit. you know, a relatively normal guy, with relatively normal interests? People tend to like me. most importantly, Im socially comfortable, and socially capable.

People ask what that stuff is in the corner of my room, or they ask about all the paint stains, and knife marks on my table, and i shrug and tell them. "Yeah, its a hobby of mine". Strangely enough, here in the UK, most people have heard of it, know someone who plays/played it, or have played/play it themselves. or do something similar. so its not all that strange. Quite often, you might even get the comeback "yeah, well i play space wolves" or something to those lines. Even if they dont play it, most folks are actually quite curious about it, or at the very worst, will respect your appreciation of it, even if they dont "get" it. So yeah, if that happens and they show interest, give the discovery channel answer, dont spend three hours discussing the merits, flaws and gme mechanics, otherwise you're date is gonna run, and leave you with the bill.

So yeah, im open and honest about my hobbies (and most people have something odd that they enjoy). Its fine to be a wargamer. whats not fine is only being capable of taking about wargaming. you know, broaden you're interests, broaden your horizons and all that. strangely, it tends to fit in well with this thing called "life".

as to "predjudice". wrong word. Predjudice is what the blacks had to deal with in the 50s and 60s (and still do, in many places). "predjudice" with regard to 40k is elevating a reaction to a hobby to a level it does not deserve, in the grand scheme of things. "predjudice" is reserved for a far harsher shade of life's goings on. if someone has issues with me because i play games, then that is more of a black mark on them, than on me. there is so many worse things i could be, and be involved it, that getting into a huff over wargames is actually, kinda sad.

I just say it's advanced chess with custom pieces and people go "oooohh, ok".

evilsponge wrote:
Considering this hobby generally attracts people with bad hygine and poor social skills I shrug my shoulders and say "Yeah its pretty dorky" and keep playing (with my nose covered)

This must depend on where you play, because I've only had this experience a couple of times. Most of the people that play at the FLGS are pretty normal dudes, with decent hygiene. Their social skills also seem relatively normal (as far as "normal" goes that is), though the subject matter that they're discussing is obviously fairly nerdy.

Militarized wrote:
I just say it's advanced chess with custom pieces and people go "oooohh, ok".

LOL!

I have used this explanation as well.

I have a professionally painted Warhound Titan in my office. I field questions all the time from all sorts of ignorant turds about the "toy" on my desk.

It can't be any worse than the Ferraris and Masers that decorate others workplaces.

Now, imagine the respect I'd get when it came time to park my real Warhound... I'd always get the coveted spot near the door then by god!

 DeffDred wrote:

 Grey Templar wrote:

 DeffDred wrote:

 Grey Templar wrote:
I fail to see how any reasonable person would equate naked/lingerie football with playing with toy soldiers

Clearly you're not playing 40k correctly.

obviously not.

From now on I shall play 40k and all wargames while dressed in either my Gollum or Elmo suit(I do the voices quite well actually)

I do a great Meatwad.

Clearly that last part did not come out quite as intended...?

Post pic of models on Facebook, wait till girl tells you they're badass (had it happen), realise girl lives in another province, weep­.

 Peregrine wrote:
How to solve this problem:

1) Start attending more naked dance parties with members of the same gender.

Perhaps more naked dance parties with members of the opposite gender?

In all seriousness, if you can afford to play, then you are doing better then some. Let them continue to burn brain cells on watching the latest Jersey Shore, or pretending that their hobbies are better. It does not matter one wit.

Militarized wrote:
I just say it's advanced chess with custom pieces and people go "oooohh, ok".

Works pretty well. My short explanation is "visually attractive chess with dice".

When I am unsure of how someone will respond to my hobby I play down the geeky aspect of the game and play up the intelectual side of it. "I go to a local store and use my little plastic space vikings to beat up little plastic space comunists" will elicit a very different responce then "I go play a miniature war game against other players. Its like chess but each side has slighly different rules so the game can be compleatly dofferent depending on who you play." One says I play with toys, while the other makes it seem like a mental exercise. (not exactly how I want that second part to sound but it gets the point across) Both are true but its all about how you sell it to the other person.

Whenever someone tells me I'm a nerd for playing 40K I tell them to "Come over to the nerd side" in my best emperor palpatine voice.

From my experience, the 'stigma' attached to wargaming comes far more from gamers than from everyone else. I've encountered far more non-gamers who thought my collection was cool, or who thought it was a little strange but no more so than many other hobbies, than who actually looked down on it.

It's the gamers themselves who tend to be embarrassed about it. And if you're getting people sneering at you because of that, it's not the gaming specifically that they're having a go at... they're just picking up the fact they you're embarrassed about it, and that makes it a target.

I'm not the most socially-comfortable guy in the room... but I've never tried to hide my gaming or acted embarrassed about how I spend my free time... and the reaction to my hobby has always been pretty universally positive.

prophet102 wrote:Just play it cool. I always accepted its kind of dorky and if someone has a problem with it its their problem. Dont get defensive about it. Just claim it as it is and be proud.

Amen to this. Of course it's a little about finding the right balance between your honest enthusiasm and some shy attempt to dodge the subject, too. Don't punch it into people's face, just ... don't hide it either. It's part of who you are and nothing to be ashamed of.

Personally, I even found that being proud to be a nerd ultimately leads to a happier life. Some people may regard you as weird, but those are the ones you probably wouldn't feel comfortable around anyways. Good friends do not necessarily have to share your interest for "the geeky stuff", but they'll still accept you for who you are and recognise your personal strengths instead of limiting your persona to that of some cliché in their prejudiced heads. It's a coming out of sorts, and it is liberating. I can wear a "mask" when I have to, but in general you'll have much more fun if you embrace a little bit of craziness. After all, the world already is a serious-enough place, and humour is the best way to fight depression.

Of course, in my case people already generally get to know me as "weird" before learning of my interest in 40k, so it generally doesn't really surprise anyone.

Peregrine wrote:

Sigvatr wrote:You shouldn't show your mini collection to your crush though. It's not...that impressive.

Of course you should. You're going to have to do it anyway, so you might as well filter out the people who would have a problem with it before you get too involved with them.

Peregrine has a good point. What applies to good friends applies to lovers, too. Perhaps even moreso.

Maybe I'm picky, but imho a relationship requires trust and respect for one another, and this extends to one's hobbies as well. Having a boy- or girlfriend with whom you actually share a hobby is the best thing in the world, but even if you're not as lucky - don't surprise your future wife or husband with an expensive pastime that a whole lot of people might see as childish. "You spent $200 on that?!"

Just don't mention it in public. If it slips out, play it off as a video game. If someone sees the models, say your selling them on ebay to pay for a class or something

I usually just give a short synopsis of what I do.

Only I have full confidence when I say it

Never had a problem and some people even like to hear a little more about it.

 TheAngrySquig wrote:
Just don't mention it in public. If it slips out, play it off as a video game. If someone sees the models, say your selling them on ebay to pay for a class or something

Yeah, the best thing to do is lie about your hobbies. I'm sure that won't cause you any problems, and nobody will ever realize that you're lying out of embarrassment and identify that as a target for future teasing.

Or you could just stop spending time with people who would judge you for your hobbies.

Maybe I'm picky, but imho a relationship requires trust and respect for one another, and this extends to one's hobbies as well. Having a boy- or girlfriend with whom you actually share a hobby is the best thing in the world, but even if you're not as lucky - don't surprise your future wife or husband with an expensive pastime that a whole lot of people might see as childish. "You spent $200 on that?!"

Exactly. Even ignoring the practical "you spent HOW MUCH??" problem, how much respect can you really have for your partner if you're going to lie about trivial stuff like that? If you really think that's ok you need to go buy a realdoll instead and spare your potential partner the trouble of having to deal with you.

(And for the record, I never tried to hide my geeky hobbies from my girlfriend. She thought it was cool before I officially met her, and she still likes my painting even though she doesn't have any interest in playing herself. And yet somehow I still have a nice happy relationship.)

Like a wedding I attended. Both were bronies and invited a lot of us from the local fandom.

They had to tell nothing, we all knew already that it was not okay to show up with pony shirts or cosplay (and you'd be surprised at how well dressed/behaved the younger ones were).

The bride had a pony plushie with her later that caused some silly photos, but that was all.

If someone asked me if I knew what it was, I'd say yes. If someone asked me if I actually watched that show, I'd say yes.

Same with say, Warhammer, I wouldn't have gone with a WAAAAAAGH t-shirt neither.

I am 6foot 2 do a lot of cardio work out a little weights and kickbox, I cant say many people would say I am a geek, but I am and proud of it, without being a geek i wouldnt have done well when i worked for quite a few multi nationals nor be able to do what I do now for work, as far as hobbies go there are far worse out there and I have had some worse ones before.

I do get the mick taking out of me by some members of my family but I can give as good as I can get so it doesnt bother me, admittedly I dont advertise the fact I play with toy soldiers but dont hide it either

 Peregrine wrote:

 TheAngrySquig wrote:
Just don't mention it in public. If it slips out, play it off as a video game. If someone sees the models, say your selling them on ebay to pay for a class or something

and nobody will ever realize that you're lying out of embarrassment

Thats the point of lying... Nobody ever realizes

47 years old, wife, two sons, three dogs, a house in the suburbs. You can play wargames and be perfectly normal.

If one actively hides it (and worse if it's with lies) people will assume that it's something to be ashamed for and will act accordingly.

As long at it's nothing actually bad, be proud of what you like; just don't shove it though other's throats all the time.

"- So you play with those miniatures?"

"- Yes, I hang around with friends and throw a game or two, we prefer it over sitting in front of a pc"

I've always described it as chess and risk mixed together, and "it's just a hobby".

 TheAngrySquig wrote:

 Peregrine wrote:

 TheAngrySquig wrote:
Just don't mention it in public. If it slips out, play it off as a video game. If someone sees the models, say your selling them on ebay to pay for a class or something

and nobody will ever realize that you're lying out of embarrassment

Thats the point of lying... Nobody ever realizes

Just like how it's totally convincing when someone gets caught with a porn magazine and says they have it for the articles?

I havent had to deal with prejudice. I find people like the fact that people have hobbies that dont involve illegal substances, alchohol, or that are debasing or morality.

That, and for anyone who is mildly artistic, they can appreciate the minis at least! haha

 Peregrine wrote:

 TheAngrySquig wrote:

 Peregrine wrote:

 TheAngrySquig wrote:
Just don't mention it in public. If it slips out, play it off as a video game. If someone sees the models, say your selling them on ebay to pay for a class or something

and nobody will ever realize that you're lying out of embarrassment

Thats the point of lying... Nobody ever realizes

Just like how it's totally convincing when someone gets caught with a porn magazine and says they have it for the articles?

No. You come up with a good lie. Say you are painting them for your younger sibling and then hide them better

"Oh what are they?"

"It's warhammer. Fantasy stuff, kind of like Lord of the Rings. Let's go have sex"

"Okay"

Seriously. No one cares.

 TheAngrySquig wrote:
No. You come up with a good lie. Say you are painting them for your younger sibling and then hide them better

Except people aren't stupid. Nobody believes you bought that furry porn magazine "for the articles", and nobody believes you that you're painting them "for your younger brother". They're going to see exactly what's going on, that you're ashamed of your hobby and have to lie about it. And guess what, if you consider it something to be ashamed of they are going to treat it as something to be ashamed of and shame you for it.

The alternative is to just openly say "yeah, I play that game" and stop wasting time on people who would judge you for it.

 Peregrine wrote:

 TheAngrySquig wrote:
No. You come up with a good lie. Say you are painting them for your younger sibling and then hide them better

Except people aren't stupid. Nobody believes you bought that furry porn magazine "for the articles", and nobody believes you that you're painting them "for your younger brother". They're going to see exactly what's going on, that you're ashamed of your hobby and have to lie about it. And guess what, if you consider it something to be ashamed of they are going to treat it as something to be ashamed of and shame you for it.

The alternative is to just openly say "yeah, I play that game" and stop wasting time on people who would judge you for it.

You are giving people to much credit. I had that excuse work on a girl whos been family friends with me for a while and I don't have a little brother

 TheAngrySquig wrote:
You are giving people to much credit. I had that excuse work on a girl whos been family friends with me for a while and I don't have a little brother

Well, I'm sorry that your standards are low enough that you'd settle for someone that stupid.

And even if the lie does work, it still doesn't change the fact that you're lying. Grow up and have some pride.

 Peregrine wrote:

 TheAngrySquig wrote:
You are giving people to much credit. I had that excuse work on a girl whos been family friends with me for a while and I don't have a little brother

Well, I'm sorry that your standards are low enough that you'd settle for someone that stupid.

And even if the lie does work, it still doesn't change the fact that you're lying. Grow up and have some pride.

I would never settle for anyone smarter. Grow up and learn to hide massive swathes of yourself for sexual pleasure

 TheAngrySquig wrote:
I would never settle for anyone smarter. Grow up and learn to hide massive swathes of yourself for sexual pleasure

Right. So a mature adult is defined as someone who has to lie about themselves to get sex. Just to put this in context, how old are you?


PS: there are plenty of us having lots of sexual pleasure without hiding anything. It's called not being 15 anymore.