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 Peregrine wrote:

 TheAngrySquig wrote:
I would never settle for anyone smarter. Grow up and learn to hide massive swathes of yourself for sexual pleasure

how old are you?


15

Right

Then you might find once you actually finish puberty that your perspective changes somewhat.

So how about we leave the discussion on the merits of lying to get girls for a more appropriate venue...

See, here's the problem. Your response should be "I take off my tight pants and helmet and wrestle with a bunch of similarly non-clad men while attempting to "carry a melon across a line"". Which, now that I think about it, would be a much more entertaining sport...

So.... Rugby?

Its your life. live how you want to. feth anyone who judges you for doing it differently than them.

Everyone I met that balks at me for being a gamer is always bored with nothing to do, while I'm struggling to find time to do anything more than I already am. Between collecting, painting, and playing, I have little time to do anything else other than work and spend time with the kiddos.

As for relationships, I met the love of my life through gaming. I would encourage showing off what you do. If they roll their eyes at you, you know its not going far. (It gets damn annoying after the first 300 or so when you start talking stats). But its great when you can carry on a conversation about what you love with someone you love.

The short of it: Its what you love. So what if it isn't the norm for others.

Doesnt matter in the end as long you make a good buck out of it . People stop judging you when your hobby generates an avarge for country income and your age 16+. Girlfriend finds hobby wierd , buy her and yourself a trip full expanses paid out of your painting job or take her with you when Orgs pay you a hotel for being a judge at a big tournament . Parents nagging , pay for water/gas/interent/rent they will never nagg again. Money fixes everything.

 Lynata wrote:
Peregrine has a good point. What applies to good friends applies to lovers, too. Perhaps even moreso.P

Wasn't specific enough. I was talking about 40k not going to help you getting to first base. I told my gf about it of course, but not on the first date...I don't think saying you play with little plastic miniatures is a good way to getting laid.

Seperate your life. I have gaming buddies, drinking buddies, co-workers, and assorted crazed women in my life. I keep them all seperate. makes damage control easy and when one pisses me off i have three other options to explore. It also helps that my work includes a side arm and everyone knows it.
Get a revolver and ask people to go to the range with you. Its a real tactful way of saying "I have a gun" with out making a threat or having to resort to a good ol beat down. Yes going Skinny white boy ape s--t is a good way to make an example of someone, but there is the whole "pressing charges" and "Civil lawsuit" angle now that we are adults.

Most women will think its weird that we nerd out... Most of us will think its weird they pee in groups. Just because they think it is nerdy DOES NOT mean they look down on you for it.

And next time try saying this: "oh hea -insert name here-. looks like you caught me nerding out. wanna grab some dinner later?

If they are a D-bag about it invite them to the gun range.

How do I approah the prejudice? By flipping people the bird and saying "I could be drinking myself stupid every night, cheering for sports teams that don't care I exist." And which is worse, being able to spout endless sports statistics or knowing what planets different Space Marines came from? In reality, neither.

Everyone has their "geek", and those who say they don't are just lying to themselves.

Like everyone else here man, My advise to you is a life lesson. You will find value in things others will not; if you are then judged for it you must ask yourself why that is happening and if its playful or borderline serious. If It's passive aggressive attacks at you then you need to tell them how it is and say you won't be changing that about youself. If you can't be comfortable around people having your own hobbies how can you expect to take conversations about it?

40k or any culture for that matter will always have people who patronize you for a simple interest. I just shrug and continue to play and enjoy the conversations and discussions I have with like-minded people (most of the time >.&gt

You are in charge of your life and your money is yours to spend how you want... they might have good advise tho... 40k isn't cheap lol.




Automatically Appended Next Post:

 Sigvatr wrote:

 Lynata wrote:
Peregrine has a good point. What applies to good friends applies to lovers, too. Perhaps even moreso.P

Wasn't specific enough. I was talking about 40k not going to help you getting to first base. I told my gf about it of course, but not on the first date...I don't think saying you play with little plastic miniatures is a good way to getting laid.

this is wrong btw, an emergent culture of hottie gamer chicks now roam the roleplaying and wargaming wastelands looking for the echo mating calls of virgins passed. Like the keen opportunist hunter "Man" is he now must adapt to survive these change conditions and learn where now to hunt for his prey. The older males will continue to follow tradition until supplies dry out and they are reduced to mere marriages to survive; yet the keen alpha males having demonstrated where best to stalk for these bounties shall emerge victorious and thus survival of the fittest continues in it's still purest form.

 wowsmash wrote:
I don't really care what people think of my gobies really. I have fun with them. Someone mentioned the t-shirts, I love them but it's even more funny because most people don't get them. My wife hates it when she doesn't get the joke. On a side not be carful were you wear mini wargamings "I'm primed in black shirt". It can be taken wrong. Had some lady rave at me for 5min about being racist. Told her it was a model t-shirt joke but she still didn't believe me, o well.

While living in a smaller town with no hobby stores that sold GW I had to get my warhammer fix by ordering 40k titles from the local bookstore

so I walk in there one day and ask the lady behind the counter if she could look up new titles from the Black Library, so a lady...probably around 50-55 was very impressed with my diverse cultural tastes and was espousing Black authors and how great they were...(note this town was the whitest of white so I was a little amused) so she was very happy until I had to explain to her that the Black Library is the publisher for novels based on a war game...then she became a little grumpy...ah well! = P

Wargaming now a days is rather mainstream. I dont know anyone nor have met anyone recently that did not know a little about it.

No female I have ever been with has ever batted an eyelid at it whether I mentioned it first date, second etc. If anything they have been rather open to the cool factor or even showed an interest in learning about it.

Anyone that hides what they do be it wargaming or whatever get over it. If you hide what makes you, you then what are you......

 Peregrine wrote:

 Sigvatr wrote:
You shouldn't show your mini collection to your crush though. It's not...that impressive.

Of course you should. You're going to have to do it anyway, so you might as well filter out the people who would have a problem with it before you get too involved with them.

I fully agree with this and all other comments made by Peregrine in this thread. I've advised my son to use our hobby as a jerk filter. Don't throw it in people's faces, but don't hide it. People that have a serious problem with it are people he shouldn't be hanging around with.

When he meets a new girl, he knows she's a keeper when she sees his models and doesn't run screaming.

this means he gets a smaller pool of girls to pick from , that is without starting to judge , if those runing away are or arent better , then those that stay . Such a selection is a negative one and most of the time will not leave a pool of women one would desire to pick from. hiding anything against women doesnt make sense of course , but one should not use hobbies as test. If a women accepts a hobby then either the hobby isnt a hobby or the women are second sort . When picking out friends or girlfriends it is way better to point out how the hobby is mirroring your financial status or your ability to aquire goods. a 2000$ army may get you killed by your wife . But telling your future girlfriend that you spent 2k$ on your hobby from money you earned yourself and your like 15-16 is a total winer . Only thing better is money and being a profesional sportsman at the same time

 Big Mek Wurrzog wrote:


this is wrong btw, an emergent culture of hottie gamer chicks now roam the roleplaying and wargaming wastelands looking for the echo mating calls of virgins passed. Like the keen opportunist hunter "Man" is he now must adapt to survive these change conditions and learn where now to hunt for his prey. The older males will continue to follow tradition until supplies dry out and they are reduced to mere marriages to survive; yet the keen alpha males having demonstrated where best to stalk for these bounties shall emerge victorious and thus survival of the fittest continues in it's still purest form.

Well sorry gals, I'm not available

I don't let prejudice against my wargaming hobbies affect me. If people make fun of you for playing the game, just make them look like an idiot. It's what I do.

People who call people "nerds" in a negative manner are immature bastards that need to grow up.

To the younger generation:

So you play with little soldiers, why aren't you doing something cooler like playing computer games?
So you play computer games, whay aren't you outside getting some fresh air?
So you're outside, why aren't you inside making less noise and pursuiing a creative hobby?
So you aren't going to please everyone, do what you enjoy doing.

I tend not to get any flak for playing games but then again I have several degrees and occasionally teach at universities and colleges so I am allowed to be a little "eccentric" as long as I wear my tweed jacket and smoke my pipe thoughtfully.

I’ve found the best response is simply not giving a f@#k.
The people who really matter in your life, family, true friends, partners etc won't care what you’re into as long as you’re happy. The rest are just numbers mate.

I think someone summed it up fantastically earlier, use it as a way of filtering out people who are just not worth it.

I just created a safe haven:

I'm 30 something, married, two children, own my own medium to large house, have a good job (not great, I teach, so not a lot of money there), and a Master's Degree in something other than education.

I also am 6'4", 240 lbs, played college sports, and have a fairly solid self-esteem and confidence.

About 4 years ago, I started an after school table top gaming club. Its grown to just shy of 20 members. We have our own tables, terrain, fortifications, rulebooks etc. I encourage parents to come and even participate, and I let my students come after they've graduated. I've got around 20K in figures (CSM, SM, BT, DA, Tau, Ork, IG). We have SW, Eldar, Nid, and Cron players who are at the 2k+ level.

The point being, go make a safe place if you can't find one. Grow your club, link with FLGS, and don't be ashamed of it. If you act like it something to be ashamed of, people think you're wierd and see you as a mark. If you're open about it, people accept it and move on. You might get some light ribbing and some little jabs, but you can't be a raging, mouthbreathing, neckbeard about it. Accept the joke, invite them to come play some time, and blow it off. Bullying ends when there's no reaction.

My students are athletes, have girlfriends, and are leaders. I also have some that are socially awkward. They all mingle freely and play the game. I'm not loud and proud about it, but I don't tolerate bullying or the like.

If *you* think there's something wrong with it or explain it in a way that you believe there is something wrong with playing 40k, then whoever you talk to will get that impression.

It's a game. Like chess or monopoly. You have little things you push around a board and somebody wins. Everyone plays games, imagine how many grandma's played Angry Birds at it's height. Some people get really into chess others the latest Halo game, again, not much different.

People will like you if you are likable and fun to be around. In part this means being interesting AND showing genuine interest in them and their hobbies.

Some people like sitting on their butt for 4 hours watching a football/soccer game every Sunday, building stuff in their garage or talking about dog breeding. This isn't any different and certainly has a social aspect.

However, if you go around yelling "Blood for the Blood God!" or some stupid crap then yeah, you'll be relegated to that class of nerd from which you can only escape from with time and distance.

Where is this prejudice people keep talking about?

I'm more deprecating toward my hobbies than "outsiders" are. My coworkers all know about what I do, hell, I have two painted space marines on my desk in plain sight. They've admitted they wished that they had the time and money to get involved themselves.

I think part of the trick is in how YOU present it (and yourself). Moderation is always the trick. If you try to hide it or act like there's something wrong with you for liking it, well, that's probably what you're going to get. Likewise, if you're running around in a Space Marine helmet screaming "for the emprah" in public, well, you're going to get what's coming to you.

Be calm, be natural, and if anyone asks, show them as much as they're interested. I got a "holy gak, you really painted those? That's amazing!" and that's it. Occasionally, they show interest, asking when the next tournament is, or how well I did, if there was one recently.

It's possible to be both human and a nerd at the same time.

the_scotsman wrote:
so my question to you, dakkaites, is... Have you found a more reasonable approach that, you know, works? Or should I just try and accept that despite my incredibly average circumstances I'm doomed to be ignoring people who think I'm some kind of social pariah for my chosen method of hanging with friends and relaxing in the evenings?

The easiest way to deal with such things is to not care one bit about what other people think about your hobbies. Works fine for me. An insult easily answered with a "whatever" has no power at all. Who cares if you have to ignore someone who thinks you are a social pariah? It isn't like you want to spend time with such shallow people anyway. Never understood why gamers get upset when non-gamers won't give them the time of day because of their hobbies. I have no interest in spending my social time with people who denigrate me and insult me because of something I enjoy. It isn't like you are hanging nude art photos of Ernest Borgnine around your family room for all to see. THAT would be a hobby worth being embarrassed about. I'll spend my time with the people who embrace my hobbies or take the attitude of "not for me, but if you like it more power to you".

I wouldn't consider it being doomed. I would consider it not hanging out with close minded twits...

Skriker

Where is this prejudice people keep talking about?

paying a lot of money for plastic toys when your a grown up man is viewed as stupid in mild and crazy in more hardcore cases , by the general population . There are two things you can do . You can do stuff that gets money or that gets status[which is money too in a way] . Hobbies that show how rich you are are viewed as good . Cars for example or golf. here it makes no sense .there is no tradition of golf playing . but it is showing of status . Plastic toys , do not come under the same category .

It's possible to be both human and a nerd at the same time.

the west is a strange place , sometimes the need for so much psychotherapy does become much clearer to me . Acceptance of strange behaviors must have its source somewhere.

Motograter wrote:
Anyone that hides what they do be it wargaming or whatever get over it. If you hide what makes you, you then what are you......

Agreed. If you are ashamed enough of your hobby that you have to hide it from people then you really do deserve to be ridculed about it. Man up. Own who you are and enjoy your life. No other way to be.

Skriker

 Peregrine wrote:

Right. So a mature adult is defined as someone who has to lie about themselves to get sex.

Yep

Makumba wrote:

Where is this prejudice people keep talking about?

paying a lot of money for plastic toys when your a grown up man is viewed as stupid in mild and crazy in more hardcore cases , by the general population . There are two things you can do . You can do stuff that gets money or that gets status[which is money too in a way] . Hobbies that show how rich you are are viewed as good . Cars for example or golf. here it makes no sense .there is no tradition of golf playing . but it is showing of status . Plastic toys , do not come under the same category .

Hmm. Perhaps I'm so far removed from reality that I don't really encounter anyone who thinks this. The guy that sits next to me spends all his disposable income enterprise level computer and network equipment he doesn't actually need so that he can 'stay sharp'. A lady I work with buys crazy expensive ingredients to cook gourmet quality food at home. Still another guy spends most of his money on parts to build his own musical accessories (guitar pedals and the like). I'm surrounded by people who create

It may be that I'm just that far removed from the "idle consumers" of the land.

It's possible to be both human and a nerd at the same time.

the west is a strange place , sometimes the need for so much psychotherapy does become much clearer to me . Acceptance of strange behaviors must have its source somewhere.

I'm not certain what exactly you mean by this.

I just shrug and explain it in the briefest possible way. I assume other people aren't that interested in my crap. If someone expresses more interest I will explain a little more. I don't worry at all if someone sees me playing, I just say "Yeah, this is what I like to do with my free time."

 Sigvatr wrote:

 Lynata wrote:
Peregrine has a good point. What applies to good friends applies to lovers, too. Perhaps even moreso.P

Wasn't specific enough. I was talking about 40k not going to help you getting to first base. I told my gf about it of course, but not on the first date...I don't think saying you play with little plastic miniatures is a good way to getting laid.

You just hang out with the wrong women. Seriously, 40k actually helps my marriage.

I treat the hobby like it's nothing abnormal. People get used to it after a while.

Then again, the fact that I'm a student of game design and hang out with the nerdiest people imaginable probably helps my case...

 Ratbarf wrote:

See, here's the problem. Your response should be "I take off my tight pants and helmet and wrestle with a bunch of similarly non-clad men while attempting to "carry a melon across a line"". Which, now that I think about it, would be a much more entertaining sport...

So.... Rugby?

Nope, Naked Rugby! The man's game

Makumba wrote:
paying a lot of money for plastic toys when your a grown up man is viewed as stupid in mild and crazy in more hardcore cases , by the general population .

No, it's not.

It's viewed that way by gamers. The 'general population' is well aware of the fact that hobbies can be expensive. Go walk into a fishing tackle shop and check out the prices of lures some time.