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Made in ca
Guardsman with Flashlight




within the Kingdom of Brittania

 Skriker wrote:
Motograter wrote:
Anyone that hides what they do be it wargaming or whatever get over it. If you hide what makes you, you then what are you......


Agreed. If you are ashamed enough of your hobby that you have to hide it from people then you really do deserve to be ridculed about it. Man up. Own who you are and enjoy your life. No other way to be.

Skriker


What if you're not ashamed of it.
I wasn't but I didn't mention it. The moment someone found out I said "yes, it's a hobby it happens to be enjoyable"
The next day I was ridiculed by the entire school just because I had a hobby that didn't involve drugs or smoking.

Now I refuse to mention it because I'm incredibly paranoid.

What if that happens?

Sorry if I came off rude.

Sir Bushwookie
   
Made in us
Beautiful and Deadly Keeper of Secrets





 insaniak wrote:
Makumba wrote:
paying a lot of money for plastic toys when your a grown up man is viewed as stupid in mild and crazy in more hardcore cases , by the general population .

No, it's not.

It's viewed that way by gamers. The 'general population' is well aware of the fact that hobbies can be expensive. Go walk into a fishing tackle shop and check out the prices of lures some time.


It's not just gamers despite the poor stereotyping your attempting here, you can find within each hobby that wonders why they are paying for that stuff and how can it be fun, and don't they see that my hobby is better and more worthwhile to pursue.

You'll find sports players that think spending money on sports that isn't their own is a worthless waste of money and time, and you'll even find on here Wargamers that hate other Wargames and wonder why people still play them instead of that wonderful game they are playing now.

This message was edited 4 times. Last update was at 2012/09/28 01:06:55


 
   
Made in us
Douglas Bader






 ZebioLizard2 wrote:
It's not just gamers despite the poor stereotyping your attempting here, you can find within each hobby that wonders why they are paying for that and how can it be fun, and don't they see that my hobby is better and more worthwhile to pursue?


Yeah, but it's still internal to the hobby. The guy paying $100/hour in gas for his airplane isn't thinking "why does someone pay $100 for toy soldiers that's stupid"*, he's probably barely aware that 40k exists and has no idea how much it costs. The only way anyone is going to know or care about the cost of your hobby is if you tell them it in a way that sounds like you're ashamed of paying that much.


*Picking up that hobby sure put the cost of 40k in perspective...

There is no such thing as a hobby without politics. "Leave politics at the door" is itself a political statement, an endorsement of the status quo and an attempt to silence dissenting voices. 
   
Made in au
[MOD]
Making Stuff






Under the couch

 ZebioLizard2 wrote:
It's not just gamers despite the poor stereotyping your attempting here, you can find within each hobby that wonders why they are paying for that stuff and how can it be fun, and don't they see that my hobby is better and more worthwhile to pursue.

You'll find sports players that think spending money on sports that isn't their own is a worthless waste of money and time, and you'll even find on here Wargamers that hate other Wargames and wonder why people still play them instead of that wonderful game they are playing now.

Sorry, I'm missing how your response has anything to do with what I said.

My point was the same as I made earlier in the thread. It's not about stereotyping... it's simply that, from my experience, gamers tend to look down on their own hobby far more than everyone else does. Not all gamers... but the more insecure amongst us certainly.

Out in the real world, (meaning outside the hallowed halls of high school, and into the generally grown-up adult world) the vast majority of people won't care in the slightest how you spend your spare time or your money, and while people often don't completely understand those pursuits seen as a bit nerdy, they generallly don't actually have a problem with them.

 
   
Made in au
Pyromaniac Hellhound Pilot




Australia

I just own it and make jokes first, then, when people start giving me grief about it, I just pull out the iphone and start showing them pictures of my models like they are my babies...which they are...then I ask them 'see, how much cooler are these than looking at more baby photo's right?'

If you defuse someones attempt to annoy you before they can, they just end up looking stupid for trying to get a rise out of you for something you clearly love!


4th company
The Screaming Beagles of Helicia V
Hive Fleet Jumanji

I'll die before I surrender Tim! 
   
Made in pl
Longtime Dakkanaut




t's viewed that way by gamers. The 'general population' is well aware of the fact that hobbies can be expensive. Go walk into a fishing tackle shop and check out the prices of lures some time.

It has absolutly nothing to do with the gamer vs casual thing .

am not sure what is your grasp on human psychology , but women view all types of spending that do not rise status or are not linked to making women life easier as at best not needed . And that is half the population . Then you have to count stuff like for example . cultural stuff , grown man dont play with toys for example . Economy based stuff ,when a half a decant army costs almost twice what the avarge income of a grown up is .
Religious stuff , chaos "gods" ??? etc . Hobbies the type of hobby modeling , are "accepted" in the west and even there it is seen as a mild form of being crazy , one step away from hoarding etc. Ah in the west large parts of the population ignore or dont accept wargaming as a viable hobby , not because of the stuff I listed before , but because wargaming is not efficient . Plastic models look cheap . No matter what most people think about GW or non GW models they look like toys . they look goofy ,just take a look at the new chaos chaplain . A toys make you like a child and not a grown up . There is nothing bad in that by the way . The problem is that when for outsiders a grown man is doing stuff that children do , this creates a disonans and is not accepted . Even in western sociaties.

Hmm. Perhaps I'm so far removed from reality that I don't really encounter anyone who thinks this. The guy that sits next to me spends all his disposable income enterprise level computer and network equipment he doesn't actually need so that he can 'stay sharp'. A lady I work with buys crazy expensive ingredients to cook gourmet quality food at home. Still another guy spends most of his money on parts to build his own musical accessories (guitar pedals and the like). I'm surrounded by people who create

you should never draw conclusions about what is avarge for any sociaty including your own on stuff that is in your nearest enviroment . Plus one should not forget that unless forced , people tend to end up in groups that mirror their abilities/incomes/likes/dislikes.


I'm not certain what exactly you mean by this.

you have a very dichotomic sociaty . on one hand you have the do what you want , you can be what you want thing . But then one checks the actual statistics on actual income , actual chance to finish a good/very good school without being a sportsman , medi care and the data doesnt add up. When you add the knowladge about the human psych and how it works on picking partners/friends/work/school etc it becomes even more strange.
I rather like a sociaty when it is clear that we have it easier , while the dudes under us do not . That there are better and worse people just by birth . then trying to live a lie , and finding out anew every generation that most of the wealth is/was/will always be controled by 10% or less of the population. being sure of how things are generates less stress , even if the things are bad.

This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at 2012/09/28 07:32:29


 
   
Made in us
Douglas Bader






Makumba wrote:
but women view all types of spending that do not rise status or are not linked to making women life easier as at best not needed . And that is half the population


Could you stereotype any more?

Then you have to count stuff like for example . cultural stuff , grown man dont play with toys for example . Economy based stuff ,when a half a decant army costs almost twice what the avarge income of a grown up is .


You mean like all the other grown men playing with various expensive toys that cost WAY more than a 40k army?

not because of the stuff I listed before , but because wargaming is not efficient . Plastic models look cheap . No matter what most people think about GW or non GW models they look like toys . they look goofy ,just take a look at the new chaos chaplain . A toys make you like a child and not a grown up . There is nothing bad in that by the way . The problem is that when for outsiders a grown man is doing stuff that children do , this creates a disonans and is not accepted . Even in western sociaties.


Most people have absolutely no clue what a GW model looks like. If you tell them "I play wargames on sundays, it's like chess but with dice and you build your own models" that's all they're going to know about it.

There is no such thing as a hobby without politics. "Leave politics at the door" is itself a political statement, an endorsement of the status quo and an attempt to silence dissenting voices. 
   
Made in se
Civil War Re-enactor





When my friend came over and saw my painted Menoth models she got curious. I told her what was going on and she became interested. It ended with me giving her the Khador force from the starter set and now I have a regular painting buddy. A girl no less

Normally I clean models and paints off my desk when people are coming over. Not because I'm ashamed, but because I don't want to get my teeth kicked in. But she just showed up without warning, and it turned out brilliantly.

So it is a dilemma...

Shotgun wrote:
I don't think I will ever understand the mentality of people that feel the need to record and post their butthurt on the interwebs.
 
   
Made in us
Frenzied Berserker Terminator




Hatfield, PA

 insaniak wrote:
It's viewed that way by gamers. The 'general population' is well aware of the fact that hobbies can be expensive. Go walk into a fishing tackle shop and check out the prices of lures some time.


Hobbies speak to people differently. Let's step outside gaming first in an example: Some people if they see a man with a dozen motorcylces will usually think,"Wow he must like motorcycles." Meanwhile they see someone who has a dozen guns and enjoys the shooting sports and think, "There must be something wrong with him to *need* a dozen guns. He must be afraid, weird or wanting to hurt people." In this situation it is just as likely that the shooter is a perfect and well adjusted person who doesn't have any emotional issues and just enjoys his hobby, while the guy with the motorcycles is trying desperately to convince himself and those around him that he is much cooler and younger than he believes himself to be.

People's preconceived notions impact their opinions every day. In many corners there are people who see people spending money on or playing wargames and their immediate thought is "Immature, childish, needs to grow up." Yet at the same time they think it is cool when the insecure guy in accounting buys himself a $60k status car to make up for his perceived shortcomings in his manhood as it were. So it all depends on who is looking and who's opinion you care about.

Yes people in general are aware that hobbies can be expensive, but that doesn't mean they give the same creedence and acceptance to every hobby either. Even those of us who sign over our organs to GW on a regular basis know people who have hobbies that in the back of our heads we think "Who in their right mind would spend money on that stuff?" It is just the nature of humanity. The key is not worrying about other people's issues about your hobbies and just getting on with enjoying yourself.

Skriker


Automatically Appended Next Post:
 Sir Bushwookie wrote:
What if you're not ashamed of it.
I wasn't but I didn't mention it. The moment someone found out I said "yes, it's a hobby it happens to be enjoyable"
The next day I was ridiculed by the entire school just because I had a hobby that didn't involve drugs or smoking.

Now I refuse to mention it because I'm incredibly paranoid.

What if that happens?

Sorry if I came off rude.

Sir Bushwookie


Sure sounds like you are ashamed of it now. What I said still applies. Just because people are ridiculing you over your hobby doesn't mean you have to care that they are doing so. Of course in school, where the biggest desire is the fit in, sticking out can sometimes make you feel terrible. Being true to yourself is no less important now than any other time in your life. Those who are ridiculing you are doing so because they don't have the strength or capability to be themselves in such an environment. Sadly such comfort with self comes much later in life for most people. I used to be really paranoid about what people thought about me in Junior High. By high school I knew who I was and just didn't care anymore what anyone else thought. Made high school a much more enjoyable experience.

If the worst someone can say about you is that you are a gamer in some negative fashion, that is actually a pretty good place to be in life in my book.

Skriker

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2012/09/28 16:20:33


CSM 6k points CSM 4k points
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and Daemons 4k points each
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EW, MW and LW British in Flames of War 
   
Made in be
Fresh-Faced New User




the_scotsman wrote:
Our hobby, however, still seems to rank somewhere between naked dance parties with members of the same gender and Khorne worship.


First of all, as I expect this topic to get a lot of negative reactions - I think the OP makes a good point. It's just true & we should talk about it.

But I think for a good discussion we have to seperate between two issues:
1. What is intrinsicly bad looking about the hobby? Thus (ignoring the painting for a sec) playing large scale board games with plastic models from a fantasy/science fiction universe.

2. What is bad looking about the 'total package', which includes the 'nerd' way of being and behaving, the gameshop envrionment and all it's stereotypes, the time and money spend on it, etc.

-------------------------
1. I think playing boardgames in itself should be seen as respectable, and if not it's simply the wrong crown who judges and just not the kind o people you want to be friends with. Nobody should look down on...say.. risk. And this game is better than that, less abstact also. But then another layer is the little plastic models, which remind of toys. I can see how girls do not like it when you spend a lot o time investing in an object, but that goes for any object, including cars, footballs, shoes (of course they do it themselves but that's cultural gender division for you). The thing is mini's have less status than cars. On the other hand... there is skill to the painting of it. Yet in general I think what hurts most is looking like you are 'into' it, thus spending a lot of time, etc. In that regard it is no different than MMO's.

While I don't have any direct solution (I stress it being a casual hobby, that's its something of one eve a week, and...well I expect them to not judge that. ). Another idea is to let those people get involved, and try it themselves, it might change their judgement. Especially if they 'catch' you in the store. Also getting one other guy in your social group involved will prolly break the stigma with the rest, as it becomes something 'those guys like to do now & then, but it must be ok as we know both of them'.

2. This is a bigger problem. My observation is that many people simply are very nerdy in bad ways. By that I mean smelly, overly 'into' it (As in not knowing when to stop talking about it), being rude/sexist to woman (this looks bad yo), or just very pale looking. Now I do not [I typed 'do not' motherf*cker who's gonna quote me] judge sheltered people for finding a retreat in this hobby. That's great & you should have the freedom to do so & I'll join you in it. But I think there is just a bit of... PR management work to do for us as a whole.

Starting with giving up this defensive position the OP talks about. I have noticed how a lot o people who appear to 'not care' still enbark in very negative self talk about it: 'it's playing with puppers, w're all nerds, don't think your not one, so what I'm a lowlife, blabla". At the same time denying and affirming every stereotype. Not caring is often a bluff, as they then enbark on rants dissing what I would call... hunks/babes/sport people; which fails because unless u'r very very smalltown that's not the 'other' group. Those people are on the other end of the spectrum & insecure in their own way, it's the middle group you have to convince. Dissin another group doesn't help.

I'd say it's hard to make something you are...obsesivly into look good. But you prolly don't care too much at that point, and if you do..well make the choice to expand into other things. As for as the 'casual' hobby goes, I say spread it's good properties (nothing disrespectfull about boardgames & model-building right?) & try to be a bit tactical in how you represent yourself to the outside world.

This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at 2012/09/28 19:05:51




 
   
Made in ba
Rough Rider with Boomstick





Greater Manchester, UK

So, I read the first page and the last page (skipping the argument) and here's my tuppence:

In school, people will rip on you for anything if you let them. Most of what you need is confidence, but violence helps too, sadly. I got so much less hassle than most people throughout school thanks to being so bored with first year of high-school that I joined in with the 'who's toughest' tournament amongst the first year guys, kicked a guy in the nuts about 5 times, got my nose broken by someone's big brother, never got bullied or had a fight again for the rest of school. Sad but true.

however, being a brit, post-school when people mock me for the hobby, it's usually because they know something about it... and talk to me about it... and within about 20 minutes my female friends hate me, because their 'cool' new boyfriend has a raging boner for boltguns for the first time in ten years.

Getting back to the confidence point, an old housemate of mine was so confident in how cool nerdy gak is, he used to chat up girls by talking about comic books. They found his sense of humour, charm, and confidence attractive - the subject matter didn't mean jack.

And me personally? I just make sure it's not the only thing people know about me, and I say it's like crack, once you're hooked you can't stop because it's too awesome. I use the Brass Thief from Ravenor Returned to blow people's minds with the awesome of 40k.

And now I live in the Balkans, where pretty much nobody's heard of it anyway. Except one guy - the best-looking, biggest man-whore I know, who in his mid-twenties is heading speedily toward a century of one-night-stands. Who once, when there wasn't any hot girls within earshot, asked me 'have you heard of Warhammer?'...

Run a whole lot of wfrp and other rpg's, play The Woods and Kill Team, gather and look mournfully at imperial guard knowing I'll never finish enough to use them on the tabletop  
   
Made in au
[MOD]
Making Stuff






Under the couch

Makumba wrote:
am not sure what is your grasp on human psychology , but women view all types of spending that do not rise status or are not linked to making women life easier as at best not needed .

The one woman in my life whose opinion matters to me (my wife) actively encourages me to spend money on my hobby. It doesn't make her life 'easier' or 'increase her status'... it makes me happy, and so she views it as a Good Thing.

 
   
Made in us
Kid_Kyoto






Probably work

Makumba wrote:

I'm not certain what exactly you mean by this.

you have a very dichotomic sociaty . on one hand you have the do what you want , you can be what you want thing . But then one checks the actual statistics on actual income , actual chance to finish a good/very good school without being a sportsman , medi care and the data doesnt add up. When you add the knowladge about the human psych and how it works on picking partners/friends/work/school etc it becomes even more strange.

Well, that's the thing. I mean, you CAN do anything you want here. I could invent the next iToy and become a billionaire. I probably won't (especially at the rate patent/copyright regulation is going) but I could. The potential exists. There is a long trend of millionaires here that were college dropouts. Not to say every one does it.
I rather like a sociaty when it is clear that we have it easier , while the dudes under us do not . That there are better and worse people just by birth . then trying to live a lie , and finding out anew every generation that most of the wealth is/was/will always be controled by 10% or less of the population. being sure of how things are generates less stress , even if the things are bad.

I believe you're speaking of what one might call a 'caste system'. I guess that's great for knowing your place, and it certainly depicts the differences between the two of our cultures, but the fundamental difference that you highlight above stops being an issue for us the moment we stop worrying about it also. People only live lies because they choose to. It's commonly referred to as the 'rat race' or 'keeping up with the Joneses". Not everyone here subscribes to that though. I'm sure there are lots of people who do, and lots of women who are as you believe they are with your "rising status" comment, but for the most part, the vast majority of people just try to get by.

Hell, the most aberrant part of our hobby is probably the fact that we can afford it. There's a LOT of people in the country that live paycheck to paycheck with no expensive and frivolous hobbies to show for it.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I've never met a single adult here that resembles anything claiming to be American that you have seen on the television.

This message was edited 3 times. Last update was at 2012/09/28 21:53:35


Assume all my mathhammer comes from here: https://github.com/daed/mathhammer 
   
Made in us
Mutated Chosen Chaos Marine







Here's what I say.

"Oh, this is a kind of stupid game called Warhammer. Basically, I build little guys, paint them and then make them kill eachother. Yeah, I'll admit its kind of dumb, buts it's still fun to play."
   
Made in ca
Regular Dakkanaut





Makumba wrote:
[
I rather like a sociaty when it is clear that we have it easier , while the dudes under us do not . That there are better and worse people just by birth . then trying to live a lie , and finding out anew every generation that most of the wealth is/was/will always be controled by 10% or less of the population. being sure of how things are generates less stress , even if the things are bad.



मेरे दोस्त, मुझे डर है कि अगर आप को पता चला है कि एक समाज की तरह है कि वास्तविक जीवन में अस्तित्व में है, और एक हद तक है कि सामाजिक मानसिकता अभी भी कुछ क्षेत्रों में मौजूद है, तो आप एक बहुत कम वहाँ रहने के बारे में उत्साहित होगा हूँ.

Spoiler:
Mērē dōsta, mujhē ḍara hai ki agara āpa kō patā calā hai ki ēka samāja kī taraha hai ki vāstavika jīvana mēṁ astitva mēṁ hai, aura ēka hada taka hai ki sāmājika mānasikatā abhī bhī kucha kṣētrōṁ mēṁ maujūda hai, tō āpa ēka bahuta kama vahām̐ rahanē kē bārē mēṁ utsāhita hōgā hūm̐ .


Spoiler:
My friend, I'm afraid that if you found out that a society existed like that in real life, and to an extent that social mentality still exists in some areas, you would be A LOT less enthusiastic about living there.

This message was edited 5 times. Last update was at 2012/09/28 22:23:12


The Kool-Aid Man is NOT cool! He's a public menace, DESTROYING walls and buildings so he can pour his sugary juice out for people!"- Linkara on the Kool-Aid Man

htj wrote:I break my conscripts down into squads of ten, then equip them with heavy weapons and special weapons. I pay 1pt to upgrade their WS, BS and Ld, then combine them into larger squads when deployed. I've found them to be quite effective.
 
   
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Depraved Slaanesh Chaos Lord




Inside Yvraine

40K is a nerd hobby and if you play it you're a nerd. Just accept it and don't assume it has a negative connotation. There's nothing wrong with being a nerd.
   
Made in us
Dakka Veteran





Not giving a crap what other people thing is the single most freeing and liberating thing in any aspect of life, hobbying or otherwise. The only person who should judge you is you.
   
Made in us
Mutated Chosen Chaos Marine







Phazael wrote:Not giving a crap what other people thing is the single most freeing and liberating thing in any aspect of life, hobbying or otherwise. The only person who should judge you is you.


For some reason that quote is a lot harder to take seriously when you imagine it coming from Hitler's mouth.
   
Made in us
Drop Trooper with Demo Charge




Here

Most people at my college are impressed by the paintjobs on my models. Every single person that has walked into my dorm, including frat guys, a few hot girls among others, have all been genuinely impressed on the skill it took to paint them. Even a cop who was there since my roommate was suspected to have weed on him, the first thing the cop said to me was a compliment of my Blood Ravens. Then he asked me to leave while they searched the room, but still.

I can't hide my hobby (it'd be tough since I'm in a dorm room) so I just leave my projects on my desk. I don't talk about it much, but happily field questions about it.

"There comes a time when you've got to do the job of a steroid infused, power-armored super soldier with a big gun, without the steroids, power armor, and the super soldier. That's why they got us, the PDF. It stands for Pretty D F " - PDF Trooper Roric after his regiment was literally killed to a man 
   
Made in gb
Rough Rider with Boomstick






I've not really got a problem with prejudice. Most people who aren't in the hobby acknowledge that it's a hobby, not a cult. I don't think I've met anyone who says that it's a bad thing, thinking about it...
   
Made in us
Kabalite Conscript




Phoenix, AZ

How do I deal with the prejudice?

I ignore it.

In all honesty, I've got way too many models to paint up to bother worrying about it.
   
Made in us
Veteran Inquisitorial Tyranid Xenokiller






The Peripheral

I geuss I'm lucky, random people don't guess that I play 40k, and my family supported my hobby because it got me creating things. (It's also very very cold where I live, so sitting at a table painting next to a fire listening to tunes or a book is somewhat romantic )

I'm so into 40k that I flakkin' wrote to the BL to get some books published - people are actually impressed when I tell them that lol. They'd be a whole lot more impressed if the BL actually took interest in what I was doing - and I'd be either more confident spreading the love of 40k, or just turn into a egotistical megalomaniac that stalks the boards of the censor-less internet crushing the hopes and dreams of all other aspiring authors and would be creationists. Possibly a good thing that I got the muzzle instead.

 
   
Made in gb
Ferocious Blood Claw





never had a problem playing 40k in public so to speak but have had quite a bit of greaf playing d@d in public. I was part of a party that played in the function room of a pub for ages but we had to move so started playing in pubs around london and trying to play d@d in a weatherspoons at 9pm is not a good idea if you want to leave with a sence of dignity in tact even though our party had two women in it and three of us are married the amount of bile and such given to us was silly.
   
Made in us
Regular Dakkanaut




 GimbleMuggernaught wrote:
evilsponge wrote:
Considering this hobby generally attracts people with bad hygine and poor social skills I shrug my shoulders and say "Yeah its pretty dorky" and keep playing (with my nose covered)


This must depend on where you play, because I've only had this experience a couple of times. Most of the people that play at the FLGS are pretty normal dudes, with decent hygiene. Their social skills also seem relatively normal (as far as "normal" goes that is), though the subject matter that they're discussing is obviously fairly nerdy.


Most of the stores I've played in are usually inhabited by awkward teenagers who don't understand they need to shower every day because they haven't discovered some of the more unpleasant side effects of puberty yet.

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2012/09/29 18:56:07


 
   
Made in cn
Rampaging Chaos Russ Driver





I never thought I would end up writing a personal life story post on dakka. So, this is for every lonely nerd who struggles with the fact that the skeletons in his closet are 8 foot tall and wear power armor. I honestly think a lot of gamers are very smart people, who are very insecure and cope with it by finding a small nerdy clique that has equivalent social issues. And I believe this is true, because its what me and most of my gamer friends lived for a long time, and a lot of them, sadly, still do.

This is something I struggled with a lot when I younger. Most all of my friends were directly related to gaming, and I was very nerdy. I literally had to learn social skills from the ground up, and devoted all my intellect for the better part of a year at learning how to be well mannered. Naturally my hobby was something I was very insecure about when I was in high school, and I handled that by broadcasting it loudly. This got very negative feedback, and in hindsight I can completely understand why. I should note, dont feel bad about teenagers judging you for this. Between the ages of 13 and 17 or so, almost everyone is a dill weed. Its just how the world works. Anyways, then came college, and I decided I needed to expand my social circle, and thus joined a fraternity. I think its safe to say that most of my friends now are not nerdy, and quite a few come from the top of the college social life food chain. If you believe that the gamer social life can be judgemental, and it is, you should hang out with sorority girls. Some of these women are absolutely nuts. Of course, some of them are amazing, and I have met more hardworking intelligent college students in greek life than outside of it.

I think that Trex makes a good point, and I will address this as he described.


1. What is intrinsicly bad looking about the hobby? Thus (ignoring the painting for a sec) playing large scale board games with plastic models from a fantasy/science fiction universe.

Absolutely nothing is wrong with this.

2. What is bad looking about the 'total package', which includes the 'nerd' way of being and behaving, the gameshop envrionment and all it's stereotypes, the time and money spend on it, etc.

This is where you get almost all the bad stereotypes from. The general stereotype about gamers is that they are obnoxious, socially awkward, and generally possess poor hygiene. While this is not true for a majority, the numbers it is relevant to are still much higher than it is for the general population. And for the love of god, dont judge people for not gaming. Often times I hear 'well, at least I am not going out and getting drunk with those losers.' 'Least I dont sit on my ass and watch sports games for a few hours straight.' 'What I do is a much smarter more refined hobby.' Yeah, ok, I have had more intellectual conversation at bars than at the game store, maybe you just arent drinking or watching sports with the right people. Being judgemental can go both ways.

So, how to handle people finding out about your dirty gaming secret? It has absolutely nothing to do with gaming itself, and everything to do with who you are as a person.

Present yourself well. Be an alpha male and have good social skills. When you first meet someone, treat that social interaction like a job interview. I am trying to think of a way to put this without sounding like a judgemental prick. If you are that stereotypical obese, smelly, awkward guy who plays games, people will just lump that in with 'more weird gak that guy does'. If you carry yourself well, if you are confident, and can play personal quirks off, 90% of the 'normal' population cant give 2 gaks. The other 10% dont like you anyways, and haters gonna hate. Have lots of friends who arent gamers, because a well rounded social life is something worth pursuing.

Have other hobbies, do things other than gaming. It sets off a huge amount of warning lights in people if all you do is play games. If you work out, if you have a regular social life, if you work, etc etc, than its no big deal. Nobody cares that you have a nerdy hobby, but if thats your life, then its something that people will judge you for. Just be an all around excellent person. Dont judge other people for not having your hobbies. Often times nerds respond to people not sharing their interests in a negative fashion.

I guess the best way to put this is that there are 2 kinds of nerds. Neckbeards, and normal people with nerdy tendencies. Be the latter option here. I have shown up to tournaments off 3 hours and sleep and hungover due to too much partying the night before. Theres nothing wrong with this at all. I could care less if you spent your Friday night watching anime movies, and I think most people feel the same way.

Be an all around well rounded and accepting person. Treat yourself and others well, but dont take yourself too seriously. This is a lesson that I only learned recently, and wish I had applied sooner.

Here is, I guess, an anecdote relating to this subject. The fabled 'girl finding out' about miniatures moment. I was hanging out with a girl, and was driving her around when the subject of gaming came up. She mentioned her brother played magic the gathering, and I tried to play it off. "oh, isnt that like pokemon, I think I have heard of it before." Hour or so later, she asked me to put something in the trunk of my car for her. I open it up, and oops, theres 4000 points of 40k models sitting right there. I ended up explaining this by saying that it was something I did since I was 12. I enjoyed the intellectual challenge of playing, as well as having a hobby that was largely passive and doesnt have a risk of getting me in trouble, and explained the 'nerds vs neckbeards' thing. It also helps to be good at what you do. I was making enough money off tournament winnings that I basically paid nothing for entry fee, gas, and food to go play. When you can say you got $500 of models for a total $90 investment, it looks good. It was never an issue. But, I think, if I had shown up that night wearing an ork t shirt and talking about my awesome grey knights, she probably wouldnt have called me back.

If you have that much insecurity about it that you are terrified of people finding out, there is probably a real problem there. And its not with the other people, its with you. You might play too much, or just be a little too awkward in general, and your insecurity manifests itself by worrying about people finding out about the one thing you are comfortable with. And this point you should expand your horizons. Work out, join some kind of social group or club that has no base in nerd culture, and improve who you are overall.

You also have to hit a point where you are comfortable with yourself, and know that you are awesome. Right now I am sitting on my balcony in China, 12,000 miles from home. I am wearing a brooks brothers sweater, khaki pants, and smoking a cigar. If anyone has an issue with me playing with plastic man dollies, they can feth right off, because I am awesome.

And thats my 2 cents.

This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at 2012/09/29 20:04:35



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBeivizzsPc 
   
Made in us
Mekboy Hammerin' Somethin'




Kansas City, Missouri

We all sound like we are in agreement here, honestly man you sound young and impressionable still; this isn't a bad thing it's good it means you are still not forced to comply with social standards and are your own individual. You must understand though that all crafts, hobbies and activities are subjected to the simple fracture causing actions of ignorance and ridicule.

For example a coal miner isn't "good enough" to marry my daughter

A professor of IT will say football or sports is beneath him.

Someone who wants to do negative activities like smoke weed or make out at all points in time might see your activities as dumb or downright questionable.

Here is the thing though, all crafts, all enjoyment even certain loves are not meant to be universal. We're all different and its only mutual activities or reactions to stimuli that forge a narrative between people to have similarities. Thus cultures like "nerds" are born ect. This is a invention of people who don't want to take the time to understand people on a personal level. it helps them try to understand you at a glance which ... honestly isn't a bad thing sometimes. I would rather people who don't like me just make a judgement call and move out out of my life. Now If they make fun of me for something they'll quickly learn I don't stand for it at this age I am at, but if you are as young as I'm thinking just be dismissive of that person. Do you know how many stupid things pour of the mouths of teens on a daily basis?

if you like the idea of 40k please don't let the herd influence your decision. You will learn it isn't peer pressure that makes you who you are it's your own choices and to provide reasons for them. I would say you are best informed to not be violent toward others but just to enjoy your game and if you still have anger learn to find an outlit like exercise or martial arts it helps vent your anger immensely.

either way i hope you choose to stick with this and realize this is just a game it doesn't make you different for playing it and anyone too dense to grasp that concept is probably not a indepth thinker enough to understand the rest of you at all. Enjoy and happy trails.

" I don't lead da Waagh I build it! " - Big-Mek Wurrzog

List of Da Propahly Zogged!!!
 
   
Made in gb
Thunderhawk Pilot Dropping From Orbit





Scotland

My typical response to twits that make a comment is 'Yeah, I'm also a firefighter, and your wife, mother and daughter would like to sleep with me'. For the less aggressive or condescending folks, I just say chess doesn't have enough guns for me.

If you are happy in yourself, and enjoy your life, it really doesn't matter a toss what random strangers think.

   
Made in gb
Bonkers Buggy Driver with Rockets





Black Country

I just talk enthusiastically about my hobby. Even at work I'll go to lunch announcing to everyone that I'm off to buy some toy soldiers, and leave happy on a Friday saying how I'm happy it's game club night.

If someone is being condesending or making insulting comments I show them my hobby. Pictures on my phone, my flickr page, and talk incessantly about it. Oh, and I can, I'll go off on a tangent too and talk about 1970's sci-fi like Blakes 7 or Space 1999. The bully wants to win, but I'm not walking away, I make them the one that walks away. Geek win

Apologies for talking positively about games I enjoy.
Orkz Rokk!!!  
   
Made in gb
Stone Bonkers Fabricator General




We'll find out soon enough eh.

 kronk wrote:
Downplay it.

Don't wear WAAAAGH t-shirts to church.

Don't wear WS4 tshirts on a first date.

People that accept you don't give a crap about your "silly" hobbies.

People that do are people you shouldn't accept.


Alternatively, recognise that there's no such thing as a "silly" hobby, unless all hobbies are "silly", and that what other people think about your particular passtime matters about as much as a dry fart in the desert.

As for t-shirts, wear what you like and hang anyone who objects; if some vacant jock can wander about in a "Space Invaders" branded t-shirt because some cretinous celebutard wore one or it has a certain label inside the collar, you can wear a WAAAAAGH t-shirt if you bleeding well feel like it

And never, NEVER downplay it, that simply reinforces the idea that it's an acceptable topic for ridicule - if you're really enthusiastic about it, then be enthusiastic, nobody gets pissy when one of their friends burbles on obsessively about absolutely irrelevant sporting factoids, or whatever their particular interest is, so sod 'em.

I need to acquire plastic Skavenslaves, can you help?
I have a blog now, evidently. Featuring the Alternative Mordheim Model Megalist.

"Your society's broken, so who should we blame? Should we blame the rich, powerful people who caused it? No, lets blame the people with no power and no money and those immigrants who don't even have the vote. Yea, it must be their fething fault." - Iain M Banks
-----
"The language of modern British politics is meant to sound benign. But words do not mean what they seem to mean. 'Reform' actually means 'cut' or 'end'. 'Flexibility' really means 'exploit'. 'Prudence' really means 'don't invest'. And 'efficient'? That means whatever you want it to mean, usually 'cut'. All really mean 'keep wages low for the masses, taxes low for the rich, profits high for the corporations, and accept the decline in public services and amenities this will cause'." - Robin McAlpine from Common Weal 
   
Made in nl
Hardened Veteran Guardsman





The Netherlands

yes, its a fun hobby, why hide it!
if people think its nerdy, its most of the time because they have seen some stereotype nerd play the game.

most people dont expect i play this game, and when they see some miniatures, their reaction is something like ''ah thats where a lot of your spare time goes''

Jarl Marius, Emperor of the mortal realm, Lord and master of the meadhall
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