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In a tournament game, my Harker Veterans and Manticore teamed up to kill a grand total of 2 Scarab swarms throughout the entire 7-turn game. Every time the Veterans shot I was blessed with 1's and 2's, and the Manticore scattered like it was going out of style. Points well spent I say.

Rolling a 1 on a difficult terrain test turn 1. His troops moved out of range and it was just a dead unit the whole game, had a 200 point handicap right from the get-go.

Yep, got tabled hard that game.

No part of this story is an embellishment in any way:

I was playing a casual 2k game in 5th edition with my CSM vs Eldar.

The game was long, bloody and my army has been completely wiped off the table save for the 3 Obliterators I have in reserve (one by himself, and the other two as a single unit). Knowing he doesn't have much left on the table I opt to keep playing because I've got the potential to table him instead if I can do enough wounds because he's down to only like 10-15 Eldar models.

So my turn 4 rolls around and the lone Obliterator makes his reserve roll and comes in by himself. He then scatters away from the Eldar unit. Taking a chance because I was now too far away to use the flamer option I open up with the plasma cannon....and overheat and end up eating the wound. Eldar turn 5 he's shot to death.

The other two Oblits show up on my Turn 5, manage to mishap and are destroyed.

And that's how I managed to get tabled 3 times in one game.

I performed a risky JSJ move to take out some terminators with a crisis team (plasma rifles). I killed only 2 due to their inv save and then rolled 2 for my jet pack distanced..... I got mauled in the open the next turn - my crisis team was not worth the trade.

Hmmm...playing pretty casual friday 40k against my friend's genestealer army. Some Zoanthropes came down in a pod right next to my army and my fire warrior line did what it's supposed to do. Left the pod because I couldn't be bothered to shoot anything at it.

For whatever bloody stupid reason I thought it was a good idea to charge my riptide into the drop pod and finish it off (instant death armor ignoring smash attack came to mind here). Also, just noting that I failed my nova reactor roll. And I intercepted some more dangerous stuff so that's why I wasn't shooting...I'm not totally incompetent.

Charge in, forgot that there's the lash whip thingy that makes me even worse in close combat than I already am, forgot the pod was a monstrous creature that ignores armor saves. Take a couple wounds, roll horribly on my invuln and don't save any. Roll bad and and fail to even hit. lose combat by 2. Fail morale check. Run away. Crank the flee distance and jump right off the board (came down right near the edge).

Look at opponent, deadpan: "how much did that pod cost?"
Opponent: "about 25 points"
"Oh...I see then."
We both just start laughing.

Won the game regardless, but dang was that embarrassing.

Still has to be my TH SS Terminator squad losing combat against some fire warriors.

 dementedwombat wrote:
Hmmm...playing pretty casual friday 40k against my friend's genestealer army. Some Zoanthropes came down in a pod right next to my army and my fire warrior line did what it's supposed to do. Left the pod because I couldn't be bothered to shoot anything at it.

For whatever bloody stupid reason I thought it was a good idea to charge my riptide into the drop pod and finish it off (instant death armor ignoring smash attack came to mind here). Also, just noting that I failed my nova reactor roll. And I intercepted some more dangerous stuff so that's why I wasn't shooting...I'm not totally incompetent.

Charge in, forgot that there's the lash whip thingy that makes me even worse in close combat than I already am, forgot the pod was a monstrous creature that ignores armor saves. Take a couple wounds, roll horribly on my invuln and don't save any. Roll bad and and fail to even hit. lose combat by 2. Fail morale check. Run away. Crank the flee distance and jump right off the board (came down right near the edge).

Look at opponent, deadpan: "how much did that pod cost?"
Opponent: "about 25 points"
"Oh...I see then."
We both just start laughing.

Won the game regardless, but dang was that embarrassing.

That's the best Mycetic Spore kill I've ever heard, puts my Canoptek Wraith killing Spore to shame.

It was my first game against my brother's Necron. I had two Melta dreads, he used his cryptek to take control of one of them, to shoot the other in the rear armor...

In my group I'm known as the 2nd worst dice roller present. I make decent lists, though I tend to shy away from general cheese and want to maintain a theme as best as possible, and generally know how to get the most of my army.

So, back in 5th edition, I played against a guy known for having a fully functional horseshoe factory occupying every single meter of his internal organs, and playing Grey Knights to boot. I'm running a vehicle-heavy Imperial Guard force; several leman russ, meltavets in a Vendetta and some plasma vets in a Chimera and some general infantry here and there, and one manticore. He's running his trademark henchmen list; Coteaz in a chimera with some plasma servitors, and a bunch of rhinos/razorbacks full of 5 man henchmen squads; usually 3 naked henchmen and 2 death cultists, along with 3 psyiflemen dreadnoughts and a single Terminator squads. As far as GK go, hardly a cheesy list.

Over the course of the game, I immobilze one razorback, and kill 2 henchmen. I was tabled.

By the later turns, people were gathered trying to encourage my dice to roll above 1, and it simply never happened, unless it was a scatter die. I had veterans scattering full 12'' out of a vendetta off the table and mishaping, one squadron of tanks ran through terrain, rolled a one, and thus one died (5th ed rules for squadrons were gak) My plasma vets all killed themselves, and all my direct fire weapons missed or rolled 1s to penetrate or wound. In the end it was a plasma pistol which disabled the lone razorback, and guardsmen in close combat who killed the two henchmen.

As I like to say, I usually have a 50% one rate (I never run terminators or high value units because of this, Honour Guard are it in my blood ravens, and I usually lose half of them to basic small arms), but against this guy, it jumps to 90%, as this story is not unusual. Vanquishers failing to penetrate rhinos? Check, Manticores failing to wound cultists? Check. Demolisher cannons missing 50-man blobs aimed at direct center? Check. I do amazing things when fighting him.

The only thing more amusing is when I play the guy who rolls the worst; it's like too drunk men slapping each other with fish. Tau on Guard, ST 10, 8 and AP 1 and 2 across the table, occassiaonly 3-4 troops models die per team.

Just today I had my Devildog melta cannon its self into oblivion from an 8in scatter. -_______-
Also in my first game with the 5th GK book I managed to perils every psychic casting attempt. My knights were so excited to come out of retirement their heads were exploding.

 MajorStoffer wrote:
In my group I'm known as the 2nd worst dice roller present. I make decent lists, though I tend to shy away from general cheese and want to maintain a theme as best as possible, and generally know how to get the most of my army.

Spoiler:

So, back in 5th edition, I played against a guy known for having a fully functional horseshoe factory occupying every single meter of his internal organs, and playing Grey Knights to boot. I'm running a vehicle-heavy Imperial Guard force; several leman russ, meltavets in a Vendetta and some plasma vets in a Chimera and some general infantry here and there, and one manticore. He's running his trademark henchmen list; Coteaz in a chimera with some plasma servitors, and a bunch of rhinos/razorbacks full of 5 man henchmen squads; usually 3 naked henchmen and 2 death cultists, along with 3 psyiflemen dreadnoughts and a single Terminator squads. As far as GK go, hardly a cheesy list.

Over the course of the game, I immobilze one razorback, and kill 2 henchmen. I was tabled.

By the later turns, people were gathered trying to encourage my dice to roll above 1, and it simply never happened, unless it was a scatter die. I had veterans scattering full 12'' out of a vendetta off the table and mishaping, one squadron of tanks ran through terrain, rolled a one, and thus one died (5th ed rules for squadrons were gak) My plasma vets all killed themselves, and all my direct fire weapons missed or rolled 1s to penetrate or wound. In the end it was a plasma pistol which disabled the lone razorback, and guardsmen in close combat who killed the two henchmen.

As I like to say, I usually have a 50% one rate (I never run terminators or high value units because of this, Honour Guard are it in my blood ravens, and I usually lose half of them to basic small arms), but against this guy, it jumps to 90%, as this story is not unusual. Vanquishers failing to penetrate rhinos? Check, Manticores failing to wound cultists? Check. Demolisher cannons missing 50-man blobs aimed at direct center? Check. I do amazing things when fighting him.

The only thing more amusing is when I play the guy who rolls the worst; it's like too drunk men slapping each other with fish. Tau on Guard, ST 10, 8 and AP 1 and 2 across the table, occassiaonly 3-4 troops models die per team.

Oh, feth that's funny when I picture those battles in my head

Not sure if this is my worst but at least it's the most recent. Last game my rhino exploded. Nothing new there, but the fun part is that I lost 7 Grey Hunters that were inside in the explosion.

This one didn't happen to me but I witnessed it. Back in 5th (I think), Abaddon and Kharn charged a squad, Abaddon was down to 2 wounds. Abaddon rolled a 1 for his Daemon weapon and ended up causing a wound on himself and then Kharn rolled a one and ended up finishing Abaddon off and killing him. It was epic.

Lost my Jetseer on turn 1 against a single Dreadknight this weekend st the 11th Co GT. Dice can be fickle.

Was playing against a necron army with my CSM, fired 3 lascannons at a squad of lychguard. Forgot about my heldrake being close enough to them for the shot to be redirected after they passed one invulnerable save. Redirected the lascannon at my heldrake, rolled a 6 to pen then another 6 to blow it up...


Automatically Appended Next Post:
Worst part was it was on it's way to fry a squad of warriors off an objective that would have won me the game. I then lost because he had first blood

 Opeth30 wrote:
Just today I had my Devildog melta cannon its self into oblivion from an 8in scatter. -_______-
Also in my first game with the 5th GK book I managed to perils every psychic casting attempt. My knights were so excited to come out of retirement their heads were exploding.

Bound to happen every once in a while with the insane amount of psychic tests that army makes.

5th edition, my Sallies vs. a buddy's Sisters WD 'dex army. Tourny mission was to move as many units as possible off the table via your opponent's table edge.

Rolling for 1st turn:
Opponent rolls a 6, I roll a 6. I roll a 4, he rolls a 4. He rolls a 5, I roll a 5... Seventh tie-breaker, I roll a 1, he rolls a 2...

1st turn:
My buddy generally just moves stuff up to set-up some fire lanes and get ready. His shooting causes 4 wounds, I fail 4 saves.

I move up with a few units, set my firebase up in support. Shooting sees barely a couple hits, and both my Plasma gunner & Plasma cannon explode spectacularly... Libby tries to cast Force Dome for the 5++ to weather all the meltaguns I'm facing down, rolls boxcars. Tigurius tries to cast his power, rolls an 11.
Final shooting attempt is my Ven Dread, missing on a 1 from point blank range vs. a Rhino. He then charges it, rolls triple 1's to-hit.

2nd Turn:
Over the course of my buddy's shooting phase, he causes 16 or so plus wounds across my pair of 10-man Tac squads, I passed maybe 2 saves. His only bad luck is immobilising his own Rhino meaning that my Ven Dread (who lost his CCW btw), can go and kick it to death with auto-hits!

My turn, Libby tries to cast Force Dome again, boxcars... (second time of the tourney he'd killed himself btw!) All of my anti-tank shooting misses the mark, while most of my bolter fire can't wound T3 Sisters. Tiggy tries to cast Force Dome because St. Celestine is coming for him, rolls double 1's, fails his 5++.
Last couple Tac marines from the Periled-into-oblivion Libby's squad assaults into the one Sisters squad who's Rhino was immobilised... and get beaten senseless by angry women. (must have been that time of month I guess?!)
Dready tries to kick a Rhino to death, even with S6 he can't even glance av10, despite auto-hitting.
Only damage of note to my opponent is a Stunned result on his far left flank Rhino.

3rd Turn
My opponent ignores my solo Lascannon for now, and focuses on the Tac squad w/Tiggy of which there are 6 dudes left. His large blob squad of 18 Sisters cause 8 wounds... I fail 6 saves. Exorcists actually have no targets in range besides the Ven Dread, so move about a bit. The Sisters in the center of the table light-up the Ven Dread and immobilise him. (but we figure since the Rhino he's been kicking was also immobilised and unable to move, he could still kick it for fun!)
Celestine charges Tiggy, who winds up with his shiny pointy-death-stick... and whiffles every single attack. He takes 4 wounds in return, and passes 3 of 4 5++ saves, but thanks to his earlier Perils wound, well, he's paste.
That stupid Ven Dread still can't glance av10...

My turn, my Assault Marines try to land in such a way that they could charge the Stunned Rhino full of Sisters and surround all 3 access points. To do so, 3 of them would have to land within ruins and require dangerous terrain tests... (you can see where this is headed!) 3 failed tests + 3 armour saves later = 2 dead marines. Just enough to ensure I can't properly cut-off all the access points...
The Lascannon gunner who's one of the only Tac marines left alive aims at the closest Exorcist, and rolls a 1 for the third turn in a row.
On their drive-by, my final Combat Squad in their Rhino aim a meltagun at the Rhino that was surrounded by Assault Marines... He hits (miraculously!) and rolls snake-eyes for his pen roll. (not even a glance!)
The Assault Marines charge in with 3 auto-hitting Krak grenades AND an auto-hitting Melta Bomb vs. av10!!! I get a single pen and no glances. The pen blows off the Storm Bolter. (because that's a huge help!)

Turn 4:
My buddy aims his first Exorcist at my lone Lascannon gunner, gets 6 rockets, causes 5 wounds... and I make four of five 5++ cover saves! (but he's still dead of course.) The second Exorcist aims at the Assault Marines and kills 1. They roll a 10 for their moral check and book it right into range of the now mobile Rhino heading for my table edge, so no re-grouping for them. Rest of the Sisters book it towards my now undefended table edge.

Rolling fall-back for my Assault Marines, they roll triple 1's and stay within range of the sisters, while also ensuring they will be 1" short of making it back out of my deployment zone so I can take the added -1 battle point for having a unit left in my deployment zone. (mission set-up has 18" deployment zones)
My only other surviving troops being a Combat Squad in a Rhino book it as fast as possible towards my opponent's table edge.

Turn 5:
The Sisters in their Rhino move off the table, thus allowing my Assault Marines to re-group. (and screw me over by forcing the aforementioned penalty point! >.< He gets a second unit of mechanised Sisters off as well, along with Celestine.

My buddy is feeling pretty awful for me at this point, and graciously allows my lone remaining Rhino to escape.



So yeah, that'll teach me for playing Marines! Armour saves are the most broken filth of all time, because I can't pass ever pass them!

We figured I *might* have made maybe 10% of my saves that game... Alongside getting bitten by Perils on 3 of 4 psychic tests... and my armour pen rolls being even worse than my armour save rolls!

I forgot my Vectored Retro Thrusters on my Tau Commander for three combats. Would have made a game changing difference. After any round.

Okay. 1500 point game vs Dark Eldar. No idea what a shard carbine or a darklance do. I just got a battleforce and some other units, half the DV set... so I'm footslogging. I think my awesome assault troops are going to eat these puny DE right up. Tabled in turn 3 after the Razorwings come in. Turns out you have to get in to charge range BEFORE the enemy shoots your face off and you run away...

Game just last night.

Coteaz failed 3 out of 4 psychic tests on snake eyes.

Twasn't a very good night...

4TheG8erGood wrote:
Game just last night.

Coteaz failed 3 out of 4 psychic tests on snake eyes.

Twasn't a very good night...

I guess he really wanted them to go off...

 ductvader wrote:

4TheG8erGood wrote:
Game just last night.

Coteaz failed 3 out of 4 psychic tests on snake eyes.

Twasn't a very good night...

I guess he really wanted them to go off...

I joked that with his dying breath he called for vengeance. My opponent said the GKs following him were probably confused who to take vengeance against, since he turned himself in a vegetable.

I thought it said that you had seen a few posts about my grandmother.

But I've had a lot of bad moments, like how I failed to cast Fortune on my Avatar of Khaine three turns in a row, leading to his and the entire central part of army's death. Or the time a 5-man Terminator unit were about to charge one of my really important troop units, so I shot it up with all I had. He took every single save, I think it was 28-ish in total. Not a single 1.