40k Vending Machine I: Just As Planned

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**ChargerIIC**

You get a letter from Waldolf and Statler demanding you learn their names, peasant.

I insert a secret government conspiracy.

**gruebot**

You get banned from youtube.

I insert Alex Jones...

**BigWaaagh**

You get a flaming dung heap.

I insert a recipe for disaster.

**ChargerIIC**

You get the DNC 2020 Election plan, also known as' Hillary has to succeed this time, right?'

I insert a 64 ounce monster energy drink

**BigWaaagh**

You get a 'Thank You' letter from me for supporting the company of one of the best stock issues I ever bought into.

I insert a fine, Macanudo Red Inspirado Robusto.

**gruebot**

You get a Drapery Dry Cleaning bill for $82.53.

I insert a bottle of Bulleit Rye...

**BigWaaagh**

You get the beginning of a fine Sazarac.

I insert a Howling Banshee.

**ChargerIIC**

You get a premonition of doom

I insert a live conduit

**gruebot**

You get a dead battery.

I insert my phone charger...

**BigWaaagh**

You get a high five from the Vending Machine Gods who'd lost theirs.

I insert the coordinates of Slaanesh's prison.

**ChargerIIC**

You get a Honey-Do list from Sigmar

I insert some extremely loud anime dialog

**ZergSmasher**

You get a singing Pikachu.

I insert the Space Battleship Yamato.

**snurl**

You get a proton torpedo.

I insert a sucessful kickstarter.

**gruebot**

You get an NSFW warning.

I insert a failed GoFundMe...

**BigWaaagh**

You get a shocked face.

I insert forty acres and a mule.

**ChargerIIC**

You get twenty acres and a chance to turn this truck around

I insert a Rubber Duck

**ZergSmasher**

You get a song about a truck convoy.

I insert Tzeentch.

**BigWaaagh**

You get your ways changed.

I insert a Reuben sandwich and 3 potato Latkes with sour cream from Katz's deli.

**snurl**

You get heartburn.

I insert a blintz.

**gruebot**

You get syrup.

I insert a stick of butter...

**snurl**

You get a mashed potato dinner.

I insert a drywall screw.

**gruebot**

You get a hole in the wall.

I insert spackle...

**ChargerIIC**

You get an upset gloryhole customer

I insert an untraceable chirping sound

**gruebot**

You get no sleep.

I insert new batteries...

**snurl**

You get a charge out of it.

I insert grilled pork.

**ChargerIIC**

You get an angry letter from Chik-Fil-A

I insert 20 pounds of raw gemstones

**lliu**

You get poorer by 20 pounds of raw gemstones, and receive a very happy letter from Forgeworld saying that you have purchased 10 shoulder pads.

I insert an empty bottle.

**gruebot**

You get a message.

I insert a treasure map...

**ZergSmasher**

You get a reference to One-eyed Willy.

I insert Sloth (from The Goonies).

**ChargerIIC**

You get a thousand letters from offended special needs lobbyists

I insert an English Dictionary