Forum adverts like this one are shown to any user who is not logged in. Join us by filling out a tiny 3 field form and you will get your own, free, dakka user account which gives a good range of benefits to you: No adverts like this in the forums anymore. Times and dates in your local timezone. Full tracking of what you have read so you can skip to your first unread post, easily see what has changed since you last logged in, and easily see what is new at a glance. Email notifications for threads you want to watch closely. Being a part of the oldest wargaming community on the net. If you are already a member then feel free to login now.

 Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl wrote:



I did push-ups almost every day for some time. I managed to get from one series of 20 to about 40/50. And then my wrist started aching. Nothing really painful, but enough to make me worry I was going to damage my wrists, so I stopped until it it went away, and I did not start over. But now that I found this document : http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/jforum.page?module=search&action=search&search_keywords=army_get_fit.pdf&match_type=all&search_titles=0&forum=&daterange=-1&daterange2=0&sort_by=time&sort_dir=DESC&resulttype=1 I am going to try to see if doing a bunch of different exercises is better than just push-up. I currently do only one circuit, but with the highest number of repetitions. Oh, and I skip 7) because I have no box.
Also, I registered to do climbing twice a week yesterday. There is no better encouragement to push your arms very strongly than “If you do not, you will fall”, and with the adrenaline, you barely feel it. Well, you do feel it, but way less than afterward when recovering .

Anyway, the pushup worked for body image at least, even though they did not make me confident.

Push ups can be surprisingly strenuous on the wrists. I have thin and relatively weak wrists. My programming probably doesn't help much with keeping them from getting beat up. Whatever pressing movement you're doing I would highly recommend playing around with your positioning and if applicable hand angle to see if you can't find a sweet spot that reduces strain on your wrists. Should that not work, athletic tape or wrist wraps will help reduce any stress to the wrists. Proper diet and programming can lead to a significant change in appearance for a beginner in just 3 to 6 months time. Becoming more physically fit is a huge confident boost for most and it will attract more attention from women to some degree.

There are alternatives to push-ups too, that can be pretty effective, and will have less impact on the wrists. Doing lying dumbbell/barbell presses is a solid chest workout, with the added benefit of really working some muscles that are mainly stabilizers that don't get much work from regular bench press or push ups.

Jumps squats are great for your legs btw. Like, jumping from a squatting position might not seem too tough, but do 20 in a row and you'll feel it. If you do enough sets of 10 or so, you'll be very sore the next morning, so don't overdo it.

Between push ups, dumbbell presses, squats/jump squats, bicep curls, and reverse crunches, you can get in a solid weight workout with only 2 dumbells (though having more of differing weights is probably best).

I figure this is as good of a place to ask as anywhere else, what do you guys use for dandruff?

I have literally tried a dozen different shampoos, and used them consistently and in accordance with directions. T-gel, Selson Blue, Head and Shoulders, a half dozen overpriced ones recommended by barbers, and even some medicated shampoo. Nothing really worked. I tried switching out my brush, which was a little rough, for a comb, still nothing.

I'm kind of at a loss, and I hate how my shoulders always look like they're having a white Christmas.

How far in advance should people say when asking if someone wants to go for a coffee or something? Are there days you should aim for? Days you should avoid? Any time within 2-5 days after asking or something?

Similarly, what are places you should avoid for first 'dates' (I loathe using that word, and I don't know why)? I often see people assuming somewhere like the cinema is ideal, but of course you're both sat there in silence for an hour and a half, which is pretty much the opposite of what you want to be doing on an early date.

How does one go about getting a reservation at Dorsia?


Those are all the questions I can see people wanting answers to right now, but it's 20-past-11 in the morning so I'm still only barely functional.

That time frame seems fine to me.

The fact that you're looking at a specific day shows you're on the right track IMO. You don't want to say something vague like "maybe we can get a cup of coffee sometime." That isn't a clear question for her to respond to. Suggest a specific day. "Hey, I have some free time on Wednesday...would you like to get a cup of coffee?"

If she's interested she'll accept or suggest another day that works better for her.

Edit: In my single days I preferred first dates over a meal, but that's because I felt my strength was one-on-one conversation. (See, even in dating it's about getting "good ground.") Most of my dates were in the city, so there was always the opportunity to go for a walk afterward if things went well.

If you're not as confident about conversation, I'd probably look at more active dates where you're doing something. As I think you already understand, movies don't allow conversation, nor are they active. If I didn't know her well already, I usually saved the movies for a later date.

A week-ish in advance is about right.

 Avatar 720 wrote:
How far in advance should people say when asking if someone wants to go for a coffee or something? Are there days you should aim for? Days you should avoid? Any time within 2-5 days after asking or something?

Similarly, what are places you should avoid for first 'dates' (I loathe using that word, and I don't know why)? I often see people assuming somewhere like the cinema is ideal, but of course you're both sat there in silence for an hour and a half, which is pretty much the opposite of what you want to be doing on an early date.

How does one go about getting a reservation at Dorsia?


Those are all the questions I can see people wanting answers to right now, but it's 20-past-11 in the morning so I'm still only barely functional.

Just ask what days she's available that week and work with that. Yeah, cinema is probably a bad idea for a first date since you're trying to get to know the person.

 Corpsesarefun wrote:
A week-ish in advance is about right.

A week!? I've scheduled vacations on shorter notice. I'd argue that you're much better off striking while the iron's hot - that coming weekend the absolute latest and only if you both have busy schedules during the week.

 NuggzTheNinja wrote:

 Corpsesarefun wrote:
A week-ish in advance is about right.

A week!? I've scheduled vacations on shorter notice. I'd argue that you're much better off striking while the iron's hot - that coming weekend the absolute latest and only if you both have busy schedules during the week.

Spontaneous dates are nice but difficult to arrange, if you want a date with nobody in particular then you can just fire off a bunch of offers and you'll likely get one reply that is free that day but if you have someone specific in mind then a week gives you both time to clear your schedules and arrange something special.

 Albatross wrote:
I'm talking to a couple of girls on Tinder (a must!), but I'm probably going to just chill this weekend, as last weekend was mental and work has been pretty stressful this week. Thankfully I'm off for 5 days this weekend as opposed to the usual 4. I guess I'll just see how things play out. I could always hang with the girl I went out with last thursday, as she seemed pretty cool.

Tinder seriously gets me nowhere, but then again my photos are gak.

How far in advance should people say when asking if someone wants to go for a coffee or something? Are there days you should aim for? Days you should avoid? Any time within 2-5 days after asking or something?

NEVER on a Monday, because Monday's almost universally suck for everyone, and you don't want to be associated with that suck... hell, don't even talk to them on Mondays, just in case. I would say don't plan more than a week out, 2-5 days sounds reasonable, I would try to keep it to 3-4.

Similarly, what are places you should avoid for first 'dates' (I loathe using that word, and I don't know why)? I often see people assuming somewhere like the cinema is ideal, but of course you're both sat there in silence for an hour and a half, which is pretty much the opposite of what you want to be doing on an early date.

A movie is better for a 2nd or 3rd date... lifehack: take them to a horror film, something REALLY scary... aside from the chance that she'll grab you in fear (great way to break the physical barrier) it will also get her heart rate up and cause a release of dopamine and serotonin, both of which are feel-good 'love hormones'. Through the wonderful thing known as 'misattribution of arousal', she will feel more attracted to you...

As for a 1st date, I'm of the opinion it should be one of two things, either something short and simple to give you a chance to converse (get coffee/tea together, ice cream, walk in the park, etc.) or something more hands on, maybe a little competitive (bowling, go for a hike (similar to a walk in the park but a little more intense), spend a day down the shore, etc.) to create some more interaction between the two of you.

IMO, your date options are situational... if its someone you just met or whatever in a bar, your options are a bit more limited (I wouldn't invite someone I only just met on a hike, thats like serial-rapist territory... unless of course we met in a situation where it would be appropriate to do so, for example on a hike, or while rock-climbing, etc.), if its someone you know through friends/have known for a while (for example, the cute girl at the rock gym that you climb with on occasion), then the hike invite is more acceptable.

The fact that you're looking at a specific day shows you're on the right track IMO. You don't want to say something vague like "maybe we can get a cup of coffee sometime." That isn't a clear question for her to respond to. Suggest a specific day. "Hey, I have some free time on Wednesday...would you like to get a cup of coffee?"

This.

If she's interested she'll accept or suggest another day that works better for her.

Also this. If she just says 'oh, I'm busy, maybe another time' and makes no indication of when that other time might be, then she ain't interested and you should move on.

If you're not as confident about conversation, I'd probably look at more active dates where you're doing something. As I think you already understand, movies don't allow conversation, nor are they active. If I didn't know her well already, I usually saved the movies for a later date.

Yup, pretty much this. But its a function of the both of you as much as its a function of yourself. I'm a pretty good conversationalist... but I'm also pretty quiet, I don't speak much unless I feel like I have something to say (and I usually don't), some people though I just click with and even though we've never met before I can talk to them like we're old friends. Lots of people are the same, and a date scenario can be awkward and one or both parties might not know what to say, etc. which will wreck everything even if both parties want the same thing out of it. If you don't know that you can hold the conversation, then always err on the side of an activity of some sort.

The only advantage of the cinema is to then go someplace to talk about the movie as a shared experience. However, for that you really need the right type of movie. A movie like Transformers 4 won't work.

I actually recommend your first date* to be more of an action date. This again is something that you both need to do together to create a memory and a shared experience. Memory and shared experience is what binds people.

In addition, an action date often provides a convenient excuse to break the touch barrier in a natural way. For example, if you are doing some light rock climbing you will naturally need to help each other up occassionally. A steadying hand here, a leg up there, etc. Therefore, touching each other and consequently making continued touching less awkward.

*= 1st dates are not the same as a Get To Know You coffee or similar non-committal meet-up to decide if you are worth getting a real date.

I agree with the action date idea Easy E. Something like lazer quest (lazer tag), or paint balling would be awesome in my opinion xD But obviously it depends if she likes that sort of thing or not lol.

I've ice climbed before but I don't remember much touching being involved (other than when starting up).


Automatically Appended Next Post:
Maybe the attitude is different in the UK but "laser-Tag" is considered something for young children in Canada.

 Cheesecat wrote:
I've ice climbed before but I don't remember much touching being involved (other than when starting up).


Automatically Appended Next Post:
Maybe the attitude is different in the UK but "laser-Tag" is considered something for young children in Canada.

So is playing with Toy Soldiers.

I have done Laser-tag on dates, and we had a blast. Granted, it probably isn't the only thing you do. You also do some other stuff like bowling, eating, wall climbing, bouncy house, DDR, roller skating, and general silliness. It really depends on who you are going out with. Plus, the novelty of it again leads to memory and shared experience which is a huge bonus.

My motto is to do something I enjoy doing so even if the date is crap, I will still have had fun. Plus, if you are doing something you like you are more likely to be having fun. You can then transfer this positive energy to the person you are with and they are more likely to have fun too! A fun date usually = second date.

If they aren't into it and there is no second date.... well too bad for them because they just missed out on a ton of fun! They should be pittied.

Everyone is telling me not to ask out this girl at work. Saying it is a bad idea

 hotsauceman1 wrote:
Everyone is telling me not to ask out this girl at work. Saying it is a bad idea

Why? Does she wear a helmet? Is she the boss' daughter? Does she have a face tattoo?

You have to give more details.

 hotsauceman1 wrote:
Everyone is telling me not to ask out this girl at work. Saying it is a bad idea

You work at Dairy Queen, this isn't going to have any serious impact on your career path go for it.

 Cheesecat wrote:

Automatically Appended Next Post:
Maybe the attitude is different in the UK but "laser-Tag" is considered something for young children in Canada.

I've found that things that were fun to a 10 year old and lame to an 18 year old are even more fun as a 25 year old.

 kronk wrote:

 hotsauceman1 wrote:
Everyone is telling me not to ask out this girl at work. Saying it is a bad idea

Why? Does she wear a helmet? Is she the boss' daughter? Does she have a face tattoo?

You have to give more details.

Because she is my co-worker and it could end badly for me they say

It'll only end bad if someone makes it awkward. If you go out, have the date and decide that it won't work there should be no harm done. Just don't make a big deal out of a first date.

 FirePainter wrote:

 Cheesecat wrote:

Automatically Appended Next Post:
Maybe the attitude is different in the UK but "laser-Tag" is considered something for young children in Canada.

I've found that things that were fun to a 10 year old and lame to an 18 year old are even more fun as a 25 year old.

I guess, it depends what you're into really.

Meh. If she says no, then let it go. It's only harassment if you harass her for a date.

If she says yes, then great!

If she says she has to ask her mom...then you should probably move on.

 hotsauceman1 wrote:

 kronk wrote:

 hotsauceman1 wrote:
Everyone is telling me not to ask out this girl at work. Saying it is a bad idea

Why? Does she wear a helmet? Is she the boss' daughter? Does she have a face tattoo?

You have to give more details.

Because she is my co-worker and it could end badly for me they say

Uh, why? It's a minimum wage job what's the worse that can happen?

 Cheesecat wrote:

 hotsauceman1 wrote:
Everyone is telling me not to ask out this girl at work. Saying it is a bad idea

You work at Dairy Queen, this isn't going to have any serious impact on your career path go for it.

I normally make it a point to not gak where I eat, romantically speaking. (What an odd thing to type.) But, listen to the Cheesecat. If your job gets complicated, you can go work at the Subway across the street. Fast food jobs are a dime a dozen.

 hotsauceman1 wrote:

 kronk wrote:

 hotsauceman1 wrote:
Everyone is telling me not to ask out this girl at work. Saying it is a bad idea

Why? Does she wear a helmet? Is she the boss' daughter? Does she have a face tattoo?

You have to give more details.

Because she is my co-worker and it could end badly for me they say

Instead of asking her out, just see if she wants to grab some food at the all-night restaraunt with you because you are hungry.

Don't make it such a big deal. Asking a girl out on a date should not be seen as some life altering EVENT. YOu are setting it way too high on a pedestal then. Instead, it should be simply viewed as just another thing you do during a day.

Really, the bigger of a deal you make it; the more likely you are to be rejected because you will come off as some awkward, desperate guy. Desperation never sells, whether you are selling cars, life insurance, or yourself.

If she says No, you shrug and ask the girl next to her. People who reject spending time with you are really missing out, and it is their loss. Oh well, they had their chance.

 Avatar 720 wrote:
How far in advance should people say when asking if someone wants to go for a coffee or something? Are there days you should aim for? Days you should avoid? Any time within 2-5 days after asking or something?

If it's just something casual like coffee or drinks, the following weekend is usually fine, in my experience.

Similarly, what are places you should avoid for first 'dates' (I loathe using that word, and I don't know why)? I often see people assuming somewhere like the cinema is ideal, but of course you're both sat there in silence for an hour and a half, which is pretty much the opposite of what you want to be doing on an early date.

Yeah, when I was on POF, when asked what their ideal first date is, most girls seemed to say 'anything but the cinema'. I found it odd, but apparently it's a thing. I guess it's the sort of thing you do once you know the girl a bit better.

How does one go about getting a reservation at Dorsia?

Dorsia. So Dorsia is where Avatar wants to go... I can get you in there. They know me.

/boynextdoor


Incidentally chaps, I have a date squared away for this weekend and got another girl's number on Tinder. Get out there and make it happen, people!

 Easy E wrote:

 Cheesecat wrote:
I've ice climbed before but I don't remember much touching being involved (other than when starting up).


Automatically Appended Next Post:
Maybe the attitude is different in the UK but "laser-Tag" is considered something for young children in Canada.

So is playing with Toy Soldiers.

I have done Laser-tag on dates, and we had a blast. Granted, it probably isn't the only thing you do. You also do some other stuff like bowling, eating, wall climbing, bouncy house, DDR, roller skating, and general silliness. It really depends on who you are going out with. Plus, the novelty of it again leads to memory and shared experience which is a huge bonus.

My motto is to do something I enjoy doing so even if the date is crap, I will still have had fun. Plus, if you are doing something you like you are more likely to be having fun. You can then transfer this positive energy to the person you are with and they are more likely to have fun too! A fun date usually = second date.

If they aren't into it and there is no second date.... well too bad for them because they just missed out on a ton of fun! They should be pittied.

Couldn't agree more, though I really doubt how a date can go so bad in those circumstances that you are the only one to have enjoyed yourself lol.

Stop bragging, Alby!

I have a date tonight, too! With my fiance.

 kronk wrote:
Stop bragging, Alby!

Sorry, it wasn't meant like that. I just mean that I've done my homework!

Obviously, I've done my homework, too!

For date ideas, I did dinner and Dave and Busters, not too long ago. It went pretty well. Dave and Busters, for those who don't have them, is like an adult Chuck E Cheese, and she was the kind of girl who would enjoy it.

Dinner and movie is pretty standard, but something more active it probably better.

Wine tastings. Women love wine tastings. Well, at least a lot of them do.