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Fortunately the pool of women who don't play miniatures games but approve of their partners doing it is much bigger. And that's where you should be looking, unless you're really determined to share that one particular hobby. Someone who is into similar geek hobbies (scifi, RPGs, etc) and says "nice models, but it's not for me" is almost as good. You'll still be able to enjoy your game with other people, and your partner will at least understand why you like it even if they never play.

 Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl wrote:

 flamingkillamajig wrote:
I once joked half of war gamer girls are gay and half are taken.

Since Ashiraya is not taken, then this means some lesbian gamer girls are taken. Yay logic!

Oh it's true that each isn't exclusive but most war gamer girls that are straight are taken. In the other forum there was a few girls that were gay and in relationships. In fact i wonder what percentage of war gamer guys are taken in comparison to gay war gamer girls.

I'm always curious if i was gay if it'd be easier to find somebody if only because it's easier to find somebody of the same sex with the same interests. Then again there's a smaller drawing pool of possible partners. Also i've heard when you're looking for a possible relationship partner it's different.

------

Ok so maybe i'll be going way off here for some but i'm always curious why with mating partners why we're restricted to just one person whether for males or females. I mean i have friends and i have a best friend and though it causes some jealousy it's not like they'd kill us both for being friends or even being better friends. Why is it then with a romantic relationship we're just stuck to one person? I suppose it's just tradition and society and maybe STD's would get super fierce but it's just always been a curious thing to me. I mean do we seriously need to be so ultimately important to somebody that they can only ever refer to us as their lover? That seems kind of selfish. I dunno i guess it's just about how society is. Funny how traditions shape us i guess.

 flamingkillamajig wrote:
Ok so maybe i'll be going way off here for some but i'm always curious why with mating partners why we're restricted to just one person whether for males or females.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Non-monogamy

 flamingkillamajig wrote:
Ok so maybe i'll be going way off here for some but i'm always curious why with mating partners why we're restricted to just one person whether for males or females.

You are not unless you (or your partner) wants to.

 flamingkillamajig wrote:
[@not_u: I'm actually curious about the female perspective on some things or really just somebody that isn't interested in the same types of people. Liking somebody a lot can blind you to a lot of a person's shortcomings and often they might be a bad person in general. Also girls act different around guys than they do other girls and the same goes for how guys act. I feel like having a sort of 'Girl Spy' to tell who's decent and which women are absolute b*tches that don't give a crap about anybody would be an infinitely useful tool. That said it's hard for me to just be friends with a girl. The way i see it is one or the other would end up liking each other. In your case it's a bit different with guy friends since you're gay (it'd only be one way interest and if they're not attracted to you there's no chance you'd want them in a relationship) but for straight girls it might be different. It does make me curious how the situation is finding people when gay though. I imagine having fewer numbers and not knowing who is and who isn't can be tough unless you guys have like a gay-dar (it's easier to find somebody when you're similar to them). Hope that's not offensive for some. Bender used that term in futurama so it's just a joke and hopefully if it's safe for futurama it should be safe for this board.

Well to start with I'm bi so that probably makes it a lot easier.

As for becoming blind to someones shortcomings, I think that's probably a bad thing. You should be able to accept or look past them, but some are also harmful to them and I guess should be worked at together.

As for being friends with someone, I don't really feel like sexuality should bring into if you can be friends with them or not. Should be able to manage a decent friendship, though there is a point it can get to basically. But, that depends on both people anyway.

 Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl wrote:

 flamingkillamajig wrote:
I once joked half of war gamer girls are gay and half are taken.

Since Ashiraya is not taken, then this means some lesbian gamer girls are taken. Yay logic!

Well actually...

 Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl wrote:

 flamingkillamajig wrote:
I once joked half of war gamer girls are gay and half are taken.

Since Ashiraya is not taken, then this means some lesbian gamer girls are taken. Yay logic!

I uh what?

 Ashiraya wrote:

 Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl wrote:

 flamingkillamajig wrote:
I once joked half of war gamer girls are gay and half are taken.

Since Ashiraya is not taken, then this means some lesbian gamer girls are taken. Yay logic!

I uh what?

Suppose, just to explain the reasoning, that there are only two gamer girls in the whole world and you are one of them. Then, if half of the gamer girls are taken and half of the gamer girls are lesbian, that means there is exactly one gamer girl that is taken and only one that is lesbian. Since, from what you said itt, iirc, you are not lesbian, and you are not taken, that means the other gamer girl is both gay and taken.
There are obviously more than just two gamer girls, but still, basically, you prove that is really half of the gamer girls are taken and half of them are lesbian, there exists at least one gamer girl that is both taken and lesbian.

The trouble with this argument, besides being kind of awkward, is that it depends on an assumption that there are at least two gamers. In fact, the entire gaming community is nothing more than sub-programs of Peregrine, the god-like AI that runs the universe simulation. Since Peregrine can obviously not be both gay and straight or single and not single, and arguments about half a person don't make any sense, the entire tangent should end here.

 Peregrine wrote:
Since Peregrine can obviously not be both gay and straight

I thought that was actually called “bisexual”.

 Peregrine wrote:
or single and not single

I thought it was called “It is complicated” .

@not_u: Honestly imagining you were lesbian helped me out a bit though i think you believe in things i don't. I just can't really see a friendship working so easily with a guy and a girl if both are heterosexual. Perhaps that's strange but i've been in a sense friend zoned and i'd rather not do that to any women that might see me as more than a friend.

Once again maybe it's the fact i don't have many possible female companions or haven't really had a lot of dates or romantic partners but for me it's just really hard to be just friends with a girl if i like her and she seems to like me. Unless we somehow both appeared really ugly to each other through some sort of dime a dozen movie comedy premise (similar to jack black seeing a woman for how good of a person they are when he's dating a super fat woman in a movie). That said i don't see that happening. While i'd also like to not sound too shallow i do at least take looks into consideration (probably more so than i'd like to admit).

People do need to take care of themselves though. That said i used to know the biggest D-bag that went into relationships just for the sex and treated his girlfriends like garbage, stole things (even from me), lied, cheated, drank while driving and was all around a pretty terrible person but he was a clean freak, was good looking and to an extent knew women. I'm actually rather sad for his family having to live with the guy. He must have burnt so many bridges in his life.

--------

@peregrine: So you're saying that a part of yourself has never been bi-curious. Also imagine a part of you was made into a smaller version of you only all the gay of you was put into that one program. There you go there's a part of peregrine that is gay or mostly gay.

Besides i've known straight people to give birth to gay people as that's generally how it happens (unless gay people go to a sperm/birth clinic or whatever).

Besides a sub-form of yourself can just be of an aspect of yourself. Perhaps 5% of your courage and 95% of your wisdom was thrown onto a sub-form of yourself. While another had the opposite. In a different instance take peregrine's 5% gay and give it all to one sub-peregrine. That one person is now mostly gay but also features other peregrine aspects.

 flamingkillamajig wrote:
I just can't really see a friendship working so easily with a guy and a girl if both are heterosexual.

Why not? Being heterosexual doesn't mean that you're attracted to each other. And even being attracted to each other in some way doesn't mean that you think you should act on that attraction.

Perhaps that's strange but i've been in a sense friend zoned and i'd rather not do that to any women that might see me as more than a friend.

First of all, friend zoning is a stupid concept. Second, if someone sees you as more than a friend then it's their obligation to say something and not just sit around passively hoping you'll suddenly decide to love them.

 Peregrine wrote:

Perhaps that's strange but i've been in a sense friend zoned and i'd rather not do that to any women that might see me as more than a friend.

First of all, friend zoning is a stupid concept. Second, if someone sees you as more than a friend then it's their obligation to say something and not just sit around passively hoping you'll suddenly decide to love them.

It's called being shy. Some people have issues telling others how they feel esp. if they have a serious crush on somebody. I can talk to plenty of girls but the really cute ones that like everything i like and everything i like in a girl make me nervous. Sorry if peregrine's opinions on something don't apply to everybody. There are always exceptions to rules and some theories to be disproved. Plenty of people disagree with everybody here as has been shown.

Peregrine wrote:The trouble with this argument, besides being kind of awkward, is that it depends on an assumption that there are at least two gamers. In fact, the entire gaming community is nothing more than sub-programs of Peregrine, the god-like AI that runs the universe simulation. Since Peregrine can obviously not be both gay and straight or single and not single, and arguments about half a person don't make any sense, the entire tangent should end here.

You know what? I am okay with this. Could be far worse.

Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl wrote:
Suppose, just to explain the reasoning, that there are only two gamer girls in the whole world and you are one of them. Then, if half of the gamer girls are taken and half of the gamer girls are lesbian, that means there is exactly one gamer girl that is taken and only one that is lesbian. Since, from what you said itt, iirc, you are not lesbian, and you are not taken, that means the other gamer girl is both gay and taken.
There are obviously more than just two gamer girls, but still, basically, you prove that is really half of the gamer girls are taken and half of them are lesbian, there exists at least one gamer girl that is both taken and lesbian.

Oookaaaay.

Sure.

Peregrine wrote:

First of all, friend zoning is a stupid concept. Second, if someone sees you as more than a friend then it's their obligation to say something and not just sit around passively hoping you'll suddenly decide to love them.

Hear, hear.

 Ashiraya wrote:
Oookaaaay.

Sure.

You do not seem convinced. By logic!

 flamingkillamajig wrote:
It's called being shy. Some people have issues telling others how they feel esp. if they have a serious crush on somebody. I can talk to plenty of girls but the really cute ones that like everything i like and everything i like in a girl make me nervous.

Ok, yes, some people are shy and have to work on communication. But there's a difference between acknowledging that some people are shy and refusing to be friends with someone because you're paranoid that they might be shy, secretly in love with you, and in pain because you don't return their secret love.

 flamingkillamajig wrote:
@not_u: Honestly imagining you were lesbian helped me out a bit though i think you believe in things i don't. I just can't really see a friendship working so easily with a guy and a girl if both are heterosexual. Perhaps that's strange but i've been in a sense friend zoned and i'd rather not do that to any women that might see me as more than a friend.

Once again maybe it's the fact i don't have many possible female companions or haven't really had a lot of dates or romantic partners but for me it's just really hard to be just friends with a girl if i like her and she seems to like me. Unless we somehow both appeared really ugly to each other through some sort of dime a dozen movie comedy premise (similar to jack black seeing a woman for how good of a person they are when he's dating a super fat woman in a movie). That said i don't see that happening. While i'd also like to not sound too shallow i do at least take looks into consideration (probably more so than i'd like to admit).

It makes sense, different people working different ways and all that. It's quite possible it's from not having many possible female companions like you say. Which comes across as a bit of desparation, but this is a dating advice thread on a wargaming site so it's a bit of a given.

But, the idea of friendzone and such is like a trap, likely the combination of the two is what gets in the way of being able to make friendship with them.

Can someone explain me why i got this feeling that this thread is about Ashiraya not dating.... Seriously she's just a girl who is into 40k and wargaming, no wonder why there are so little wargamer girls(Yea, most of us got or had a GF at some point but, i got this theory why are there so little Wargamergirls )
1. imagine a girl, interested into wargaming
2. she goes into store/club
3. Neckbeards stare into her like virgin Mary herself showed up(no offence meant to anyone)
4. girl thinks: Losers/virgins!
5. she runs away, never to be heard of again
So, if you don't wanna spook girls away, try to act like you are not playing against the girl when you are teaching her to play... (more precisely don't ask stuff how come a girl is interested in wargaming and such "sexist" questions)
RANT OVER, BACK TO TOPIC:
I was at 60s/70s party at valentines in a night club, first i bumped into this girl, we made out after like 5 minutes of talk but then i realized afterwards(friend told me to keep an eye on her) she kissed with 5 guys in as many minutes... at that moment i said feth it and carried on, and girl approached me.(we met earlier, she had a friend who i didn't met) anyway, seems like i had achieved something more than a one night stand with her, got her FB, and we are currently talking, and seems like we are going out next weekend... Also, thanks for the advice on yes/no questions

I've seen girls at the local shop and most guys don't approach them. Some are 'nice' to them and others patronise a bit. But they don't try to ask them out because the assumption is that they're always spoken for. I met a girl last year and just got chatting about MtG and we seemed to get along so I asked if I could find her on Facebook. She said yes so later on I contacted her and we chatted a bit and then met up for a couple of dates and got on well. It didn't go further because she wasn't long out of a relationship and preferred not to jump into another too soon, which is fair enough. You can meet girls in game stores but all you have to do is talk to them like normal people and ask them, not treat them like some strange rarity.

The one thing I always do is assume the girl is there to play and buy things for herself. It's just insulting that people assume that girls are just following their boyfriend around or are buying presents, but a lot of people do this including shop staff.

ThatSwellFella wrote:
Can someone explain me why i got this feeling that this thread is about Ashiraya not dating....

I certainly cannot explain this, because I have no idea what gave you this feeling. Most of the discussions did not even involve Ashiraya.

ThatSwellFella wrote:
Losers/virgins!

Oh, please…

ThatSwellFella wrote:
Can someone explain me why i got this feeling that this thread is about Ashiraya not dating.... Seriously she's just a girl who is into 40k and wargaming, no wonder why there are so little wargamer girls(Yea, most of us got or had a GF at some point but, i got this theory why are there so little Wargamergirls )
1. imagine a girl, interested into wargaming
2. she goes into store/club
3. Neckbeards stare into her like virgin Mary herself showed up(no offence meant to anyone)
4. girl thinks: Losers/virgins!
5. she runs away, never to be heard of again
So, if you don't wanna spook girls away, try to act like you are not playing against the girl when you are teaching her to play... (more precisely don't ask stuff how come a girl is interested in wargaming and such "sexist" questions)

This is the fault of both parties really and somewhat exaggerated stupidity. Can get much worse too, try online gaming. Basically picture your scenario and a torrent of D pics and such along side it. XD
Also most clubs don't seem to actually be that awkward, there are a few that are like that but it's not as common as you'd think overall.

Am I the only one who finds this creepy that we are discussing why she is not dating..........
let's stop please.

No more weird than discussing my, your or anyone elses personal lives. Though to be fair I think everyone else brings up their own personal life rather than a horde descending on dissecting it.


For the record though my ex-wife found it highly strenuous coming into GW stores with me because of the staring, literally made her skin crawl.

I do believe friend-zoning exists, because I've done it. I just don''t think it's a bad thing to not have romantic or sexual interest in a person. I mean seriously, I have girls who I'm friends with and am not interested in, hell I'm still friends with my ex. I think the idea that the whole thing of the 'nice guy" is the idea those types of people seem to have the idea that women are vending machines that you insert nice and receive sex.
it's like the whole thing of "I'll like her facebook things, than she'll fall for me!"
Also, not-u is a girl? call me sexist but suddenly the pink makes sense. no, I kid, I kid.

 n0t_u wrote:

ThatSwellFella wrote:
Can someone explain me why i got this feeling that this thread is about Ashiraya not dating.... Seriously she's just a girl who is into 40k and wargaming, no wonder why there are so little wargamer girls(Yea, most of us got or had a GF at some point but, i got this theory why are there so little Wargamergirls )
1. imagine a girl, interested into wargaming
2. she goes into store/club
3. Neckbeards stare into her like virgin Mary herself showed up(no offence meant to anyone)
4. girl thinks: Losers/virgins!
5. she runs away, never to be heard of again
So, if you don't wanna spook girls away, try to act like you are not playing against the girl when you are teaching her to play... (more precisely don't ask stuff how come a girl is interested in wargaming and such "sexist" questions)

This is the fault of both parties really and somewhat exaggerated stupidity. Can get much worse too, try online gaming. Basically picture your scenario and a torrent of D pics and such along side it. XD
Also most clubs don't seem to actually be that awkward, there are a few that are like that but it's not as common as you'd think overall.

Yup, i have exaggerated a bit in the misunderstanding, but it's more or less like that... And yea, speaking of online gaming, let's just say i called a gamer girl a squeaker while playing counterstrike.....


Automatically Appended Next Post:
either way, the girl i met, she can't go this weekend cos she aparently came home in 6.AM (she was supposed to come in 3) and parents grounded her... Not sure if she politely told me to off, but imma fall for it this time and give her a chance.
Thoughts on this?(how many excuses are too much)

 n0t_u wrote:

ThatSwellFella wrote:
Can someone explain me why i got this feeling that this thread is about Ashiraya not dating.... Seriously she's just a girl who is into 40k and wargaming, no wonder why there are so little wargamer girls(Yea, most of us got or had a GF at some point but, i got this theory why are there so little Wargamergirls )
1. imagine a girl, interested into wargaming
2. she goes into store/club
3. Neckbeards stare into her like virgin Mary herself showed up(no offence meant to anyone)
4. girl thinks: Losers/virgins!
5. she runs away, never to be heard of again
So, if you don't wanna spook girls away, try to act like you are not playing against the girl when you are teaching her to play... (more precisely don't ask stuff how come a girl is interested in wargaming and such "sexist" questions)

This is the fault of both parties really and somewhat exaggerated stupidity. Can get much worse too, try online gaming. Basically picture your scenario and a torrent of D pics and such along side it. XD
Also most clubs don't seem to actually be that awkward, there are a few that are like that but it's not as common as you'd think overall.

The truth about the internet is it's a terrible place for everybody in most cases.

In my case i try talking to some girls and act dumb and weird them out but hey i mean it's not like nerdy gamers are the best in social situations. I just suck at them sometimes. That's why i try not to get into anything online these days.

To be fair in my case i have moved to many different parts of the country and had to make new friends frequently and when my mom died in '06 (and i was forced by my jerk of a dad to move) i desperately needed somebody for comfort and support. You wouldn't believe how bad it is when you almost never have somebody to hug no matter how bad things get and they got really bad. In the end i realized i could only really still keep my online friends so between the moving around and the fact i was on the internet often it just seemed like the place to look for women and friends. Sadly looking for a girlfriend online and in a nerdy place is perhaps the worst way to find a girlfriend ever or at least without making really crazy suggestions to find a date.

Also though it sucks for the girls that are gamers or war gamers i find they tend to be in the minority of gamers overall. I'm not suggesting what they do is right but rather it's about numbers. A bunch of socially awkward dudes that never get out and see women see one girl that likes everything they do. I mean imagine girls in a similar situation. I can only think of guys that would somehow like 'twilight' being in the same situation as a war gamer girl.

 n0t_u wrote:

ThatSwellFella wrote:
Can someone explain me why i got this feeling that this thread is about Ashiraya not dating.... Seriously she's just a girl who is into 40k and wargaming, no wonder why there are so little wargamer girls(Yea, most of us got or had a GF at some point but, i got this theory why are there so little Wargamergirls )
1. imagine a girl, interested into wargaming
2. she goes into store/club
3. Neckbeards stare into her like virgin Mary herself showed up(no offence meant to anyone)
4. girl thinks: Losers/virgins!
5. she runs away, never to be heard of again
So, if you don't wanna spook girls away, try to act like you are not playing against the girl when you are teaching her to play... (more precisely don't ask stuff how come a girl is interested in wargaming and such "sexist" questions)

This is the fault of both parties really and somewhat exaggerated stupidity. Can get much worse too, try online gaming. Basically picture your scenario and a torrent of D pics and such along side it. XD
Also most clubs don't seem to actually be that awkward, there are a few that are like that but it's not as common as you'd think overall.

Wait. You mean random girls I play games with online don't appreciate it when I send pictures of penises to them? Gee, never would have guessed!

I'm quite sure that people who do that aren't quite that sane.

Can confirm that the internet sucks for everyone. I am Omni-potent.

 thenoobbomb wrote:

 n0t_u wrote:

ThatSwellFella wrote:
Can someone explain me why i got this feeling that this thread is about Ashiraya not dating.... Seriously she's just a girl who is into 40k and wargaming, no wonder why there are so little wargamer girls(Yea, most of us got or had a GF at some point but, i got this theory why are there so little Wargamergirls )
1. imagine a girl, interested into wargaming
2. she goes into store/club
3. Neckbeards stare into her like virgin Mary herself showed up(no offence meant to anyone)
4. girl thinks: Losers/virgins!
5. she runs away, never to be heard of again
So, if you don't wanna spook girls away, try to act like you are not playing against the girl when you are teaching her to play... (more precisely don't ask stuff how come a girl is interested in wargaming and such "sexist" questions)

This is the fault of both parties really and somewhat exaggerated stupidity. Can get much worse too, try online gaming. Basically picture your scenario and a torrent of D pics and such along side it. XD
Also most clubs don't seem to actually be that awkward, there are a few that are like that but it's not as common as you'd think overall.

Wait. You mean random girls I play games with online don't appreciate it when I send pictures of penises to them? Gee, never would have guessed!

I'm quite sure that people who do that aren't quite that sane.

Sadly there's quite a lot that struggle making this very simple connection.

 the shrouded lord wrote:
Can confirm that the internet sucks for everyone. I am Omni-potent.

It certainly sucks more for some people than other. For me it is about fine.

 the shrouded lord wrote:
Can confirm that the internet sucks for everyone. I am Omni-potent.

I don't think so. It's perfect for me. The problem is all the people on it.


Automatically Appended Next Post:
Wow. It might be oldschool by now. But anyone check out match lately? Seems to be slim pickings in my area and holy crap, everything is screaming at me at all sides for upsells. Thought for a second I'd clicked on a Yahoo page.