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 master of ordinance wrote:

 The Deathless Host wrote:
So uh this happens yesterday...

Khorne bezerkers charge my Skitarii vanguard, they roll 50+ attacks hit with 5 then fail to wound, vanguard alpha hits back with his 3 TASER attacks, 3 6s, 9 instant deaths. Vanguard CLUB KHONE BEZERKERS TO DEATH WITH THEIR CARBINES. 1 Bezerker lives, next turn the dice gods abandon me and the lone bezerker chops though half the squad. I trigger my Doctrina boasting my weapon skill by 2 and beat him to death in realization. Survivors regroup, and are blown up next turn by a defiler that just came on from reserve.

That son is called EPIC!

They went out in glory ;_;

Used to play orks, had a gretchin squad that would run around doing nothing but take objectives.

My friend got smart and threw a nob squad on an objective to protect it. Long story short, my gretchin shot into the 5 man squad, and my friend rolled straight 1's then charged me with te remains, then the combined overwatch and better initiative finished them off.

Shortly after my friend started running a gretchin squad, and mine moved to being artillery gunners.

I had my Thunder Hammer Chapter Master survive 4 Str D attacks and stomps only to take off the last 5 hull points on an Imperial Knight with only three hits. He then survived the resulting explosion! 3++ ftw!

In a game I played recently, my D-thirster got charged by my opponent's D-thirster. On their attacks, they each got some hits, then they each got a single 6 to wound (in addition to other hits). Both 'thirsters were obliterated, and it resulted in double First Blood!

During a match recently against a Eldar jet bike list my command teams chimera was blown up by Eldar flyer, that then was taken out by a vendetta. The resulting explosion of the chimera lead to only the company commander and the master of the fleet left alive. I then ordered them to run after the jet bikes in their proximity.

When they were able to catch up they subsequently murdered the jet bike team.

Think about it, 5 jet bikes vs two middle aged men when Nothing but a sword and a las pistol. Absolutely brilliant.

This past weekend I had a rather interesting kill. It was a 2v2 game and I was playing Tau with GK ally vs Tau and 2 Imp Knights + some scions to fill the points. I was rolling like crap the entire game and had terrible luck (hammerhead went 0/3 to hit against the knights, even missing with BS7). Its late in the game and I'm down to barely anything.

Enemy turn and there is a Knight heading towards the backfield with 2 hull points and a unit of 2 scions charge my remaining 5 Fire Warriors in some ruins. Overwatch killed 1 but they made the charge, the squad leader had only 1 wound remaining made his attacks and missed, Fire Warriors clubbed the human to death and consolidated 4 inches towards the Knight. My turn my Hammerhead shot and missed, Fusion Crisis Suit scattered out of melta range but shot its 2 fusion blasters at the knight but did zero damage, Fire Warriors moved towards the Knight and threw an EMP grenade, did nothing but the Fire Warriors then charged the Knight.

In close combat the Knight at I4 chopped down 2 Fire Warriors. The remaining 3 clamped on their EMP grenades and got a hull point of damage. The Knight then stomps twice killing 2 Fire Warriors. Having taken 4 wounds but dealing 1 Hull Point the lone Fire Warrior makes his leadership 4 roll. Next round of combat the Knight swings 3 times, hitting once. The knight rolls a 1 to wound allowing the Fire Warrior to survive. The Fire Warrior grabs the EMP grenade, hits, rolls a 6 to penetrate, and the Knight goes down. The Knight goes nuclear and the massive blast scatters off into some nearby ruins but its still hitting the lone Fire Warrior. The blast wounds but the Fire Warrior makes his 4+ cover from the blast being on the other side of the ruins. He consolidates 6 inches onto the 2nd floor of the ruins and onto an objective.

The lone Fire Warrior then takes a pot shot at some scions and then survives being shot at by pistol fire from a unit of scions plus they failed the charge before the game ending. End of the game I had a Devilfish and the lone Fire Warrior left on the table as everything else was horribly destroyed.

Well last night I had a rather interesting kill that happened then didnt happen.

My opponent tried to charge a Veteran section with his Eversor assassin only for a lone Panzerfaust (Melta) gunner to blast him back through the wall with overwatch fire, killing him outright as he failed his 4+ save.

Then one of the club managers wandered past and happened to ask what turn this was. It was turn 1, and the Eversor had infiltrated. We had both forgotten about the rules regarding this and charging. The Eversor was brought back

It was a moral victory ordinance.

A guard shadowsword lined up on the lead knight of an adamantium lance.

Fired, scattered.....and managed to scatter so as to clip the leader and the guy on the back left.

Leader took a destroyer roll of '6' - and exploded.....scattering back onto the guy in back right. Which destroyed him with a second '6'.

The third knight no longer got the save reroll, took 3 hull points damage from the initial hit....and an explodes result, causing another three and killing him too.


One triple-mushroom-cloud later, Shadowsword gunner presumably lights up a cigar and demands beer......

locarno24 wrote:
A guard shadowsword lined up on the lead knight of an adamantium lance.

Fired, scattered.....and managed to scatter so as to clip the leader and the guy on the back left.

Leader took a destroyer roll of '6' - and exploded.....scattering back onto the guy in back right. Which destroyed him with a second '6'.

The third knight no longer got the save reroll, took 3 hull points damage from the initial hit....and an explodes result, causing another three and killing him too.


One triple-mushroom-cloud later, Shadowsword gunner presumably lights up a cigar and demands beer......

Exalted

I had a game against grey knights and a dreadknight with two wounds left gates to my table edge; i dont have anything to fire in his direction except the defensive heavy stubber on the back of my avenger strike fighter, so i have a bash at it in the hope i might get a wound off it.

The stubber is skyfire but not interceptor - i roll a five and two sixes to hit and two sixes to wound; he rolls snake eyes to save and down he went.

My fav was the first time I used my nurgle special weapon armed chaos havocs: 5 models, 4 with plasma guns and champ with Plasma pistol. All 4 plasma guns fired and got at least a single 1, with one rolling snake eyes so hitting himself with 2 gets hot wounds. Unit champ rolled 1 on plasma pistol shot as well. All failed necessary armor saves and all died on their first time shooting ever. Could not believe all the 1s rolled in that attack and all the combined saved fails as well. Not one of the 5 models actually survived.

I had 2 Grey Knight Terminators charge an IG infantry squad, 1 dies to overwatching lasguns, the other spends 3 turns gettting beaten to death while failing to kill even a single guardsman.

But that wasn't the worst, think that must have been my GK's vs Orks. A nob squad had been giving my Dreadknight a lot of trouble over the last few games, this time I made sure to keep the DK well away. However, my trusty vindicare takes a shot at the nobs wagon and kills it, but it has that damn ramshackle rule. The wagon then moves full distance random scatter right to the feet of the DK, where the nobs get out. Needless to say, the Dreadknight gets power clawed to death immediately, all thanks to the Vindicare.

Full squad of guardsmen accompanied by Yarrick. Come around the corner and find a single Skitari.
First Rank Fire, Second Rank Fire, close range, plus sergeant's pistol.
That's the best part of thirty dice.
Nothing hits. Nothing.

Yarrick sighs, contemplates headbutting the wall, and fires his baleful eye, showing them how it's done, and finally kills the Skitari.

None of us were capable of speech for a good five minutes.

 Buttery Commissar wrote:
Full squad of guardsmen accompanied by Yarrick. Come around the corner and find a single Skitari.
First Rank Fire, Second Rank Fire, close range, plus sergeant's pistol.
That's the best part of thirty dice.
Nothing hits. Nothing.

Yarrick sighs, contemplates headbutting the wall, and fires his baleful eye, showing them how it's done, and finally kills the Skitari.

None of us were capable of speech for a good five minutes.

Our tech magik triumphs again!

*turns to adept*

Take this down Toliver "new experimental confusion sheild is ineffective against evil eye death lasers"

My cent star fired into a wraith star, after I had removed it's Reanimation Protocols. The surviving wraiths go down quickly, and there are fifteen saves to take on his one wound remaining destroyer lord.

Should take about four wounds to kill him between his 4+ invuln and 4+ decurion save.

He passes all 15, denying me the kingslayer card and slay the warlord.

MFW...

That's probably the hardest I've been dick punched by the dice in a while. Especially considering my pair of dreadknights died to about maybe twenty five ap5 wounds between them...

A few days ago I played a small game with two friends. I brought a lone Emperor's Champion, my ally brought some Sternguard with two Gravcannons, and our opponent brought a Libby Conclave.

The Libbys camped out in a ruin and started cheating with their witchcraft, and by turn three, the Sternguard were able to get a clear shot at a Libby through a window, and took him down with 10 Graviton shots (poor sod). That turn's assault phase, my Champion jumped out of cover, and assaulted a Libby who had been forced to pop out of a door to attempt psychic shriek on him (failed dramatically when I turned up 3 5's to Deny).
As expected, the Libby got his arse handed to him.
Champion proceeds to consolidate around a corner.

Turn 4, the remaining three Librarians all start going batgak crazy, and fire off all their powers into the Champ.

Nothin' doin'.

All fire pistols.

Nothing.

All charge him (reasoning that he can't feasibly kill all three in one go). One of them dies, the other two fail to do anything.

Back to my turn, Champion shanks the remaining two, and consolidates for a victory lap around the Sternguard.

Best duel evar

Today I played in a tournament. In the third game, Be'lakor got targeted by a Psychic Shriek from Fateweaver. My opponent, unbelievably, rolled a ing 17. Be'lakor failed four of his invuln saves and died like a bitch. Then, in the same psychic phase, another Daemon used Psychic Shriek on my D-thirster. He rolled 18 on that one. D-thirster dies like an even bigger bitch. Worst tournament for me ever (although with the first two games going as bad as they did it was just icing on the cake really).

JinxDragon wrote:
Not all the ones on this list made me laugh, but the image of a Chapter Master being crushed by a Rhino is one of the few that did.

LOL, the shop I play told that I had to add a blood spot on the Rhino as a remembrance to its glory kill

Happyjew wrote:Kharn charged a 10-man IG squad. Killed all but 1. Over the next three(?) turns, the lone Guardsman proceeded to butt Kharn in the face with his rifle to death.

Give that man a promotion!

Otto Weston wrote:I've posted this before in similar threads but it is a funny story -

Deathstrike Missile was fired danger close to my Fortress of Redemption's walls in order to try wiping out an Ork horde bearing down on my defenders.

The Missile scattered backwards and destroyed 3 sections of my Fortress, leaving only the Missile bunker, and killing 35 men (20 of which were veterans), my Inquisitor and his retinue. Also caught in the blast was my last Tarantula turret.

Suffice it to say, I had effectively tabled myself and my opponent cleaned up the survivors, including the offending Deathstrike Missile Launcher, the following turn.

This dude straight up Allahu Akbar'd himself.

As a guard player nothing of mine stands out as dying in a stupid way. However, I do have one chimera that has run over a d-thirster, a riptide, a wraithknight (pre GC), wraithlord, Marenus Calagar, captain lysander and finished off a baneblade by ramming into the side of it.

Also have a veteran sarge equipped with a shovel that has killed asterion molok by booping him on the head with it.

 Crazyterran wrote:
My cent star fired into a wraith star, after I had removed it's Reanimation Protocols. The surviving wraiths go down quickly, and there are fifteen saves to take on his one wound remaining destroyer lord.

Should take about four wounds to kill him between his 4+ invuln and 4+ decurion save.

He passes all 15, denying me the kingslayer card and slay the warlord.

MFW...

That's probably the hardest I've been dick punched by the dice in a while. Especially considering my pair of dreadknights died to about maybe twenty five ap5 wounds between them...

That reminded me of the time when I charged Helbrecht with a big terminator squad. After dispatching of my sergeant he proceeded to make 16 4++ saves. The chances of that happening are kinda low, what made it even funnier was that next round 2 tactical marines punched him to death.

A Chaos Lord backed up by his Chaos Terminator pals had been shredding through a ton of Guardsmen, by my turn of shooting 4 Terminators and a Chaos Lord on full health were locked in combat with a Junior Officer and exactly one infantryman.

A shot from a Leman Russ Battlecannon scattered from a nearby defiler and landed squarely over the combat. The guardsmen were incinerated, but the termies and lord all got their saves. Which all but one proceeded to fail, leaving a very confused and probably shell-shocked Chaos Terminator standing in the middle of an cratered field littered with dead Traitor Marines and Imperial Guard.


As I recall that LRBT was the only thing left standing on the field, it's turret ripped off by the defiler which it subsequently took down with its lascannon.

Playing as Nids against my friend's Blood Angels, a certain HQ who may or may not be the reincarnation of a primarch decided to run ahead of everyone at a wall of 70 devilgaunts... never run at a wall of 70 devilgaunts by yourself.

I had a Platoon Command Squad riding in a Vendetta [full health].

A single snap shot, from a Plasma PISTOL caused my Vendetta to explode, and the wreckage scattered on top of a tower [building].

The Junior Commander survived the crash, and then crawled down into the building. The next turn, the tower was exploded, resulting in the JO taking 12 wounds.


In another case, the PCS was cruising around in a Vendetta, when it was shot down by some GK with a Psycannon. The resulting explosion killed everyone except the JO. The next turn, he ran for cover in some ruins. The GK player used the Purging power [nova power] resulting in the JO taking 10 wounds.


That JO has also survived being shot out of the sky, surviving the HoW attack from a Knight, only to take *19* wounds from a pair of D hits that rolled 6's "to wound".


For some reason, he takes obscene amounts of overkill pretty much every time I play. He seldom takes less than 5 wounds [on his own].

 Verviedi wrote:
My Onager Dunecrawler is fething amazing.

It has accomplished the following.

•Killed a Daemon Prince in close combat with one hull point remaining.
•Killed a Bloodthirster with a Heavy Stubber.
•Killed two Terminators in close combat.

CC Dunecrawler OP, nerf GW pl0x

What did you have equipped on it?

Chapter master with 1 wound left surrounded by assualt centrions charging a single tyranid gargoyle.

Gargoyle shoots, hits on a 6, wounds on a 6,I look out sir just to be safe, 1, armour save. 1.

Chapter Master dies.

I have another one.
BA (friend0 vs. UM (me)

Dante has just murdered my Captain in assault, and is now looking at a squad of Scouts with boltguns who are camping on a backfield objective. He goes to charge the Scouts, and they get to overwatch. out of the 10 shots, 4 hit, then all 4 wounded. Dante opts to tank all the shots. My friend then proceeds to roll 4 1's. Dante gets shot down by neophytes, and Dante's squad then proceeded to fail the 5" charge.

since the thread is back: this happened to me on Sunday.

1 Vanguard Alpha vs 7 Dark Eldar Wyches. Issues challenge, opponent refuses. They attack reducing him to 1 wound. Alpha beats 2 Wyches to death with his rifle. Then triggers Pater Radium, opponent roles a 1. I roll a 6. Killing every Wyche left standing.

The guy raged like crazy and conceded the game. That alpha is getting a promotion to "Counts-as-Inquisitor"

My all time most humiliating epic fail death:
Playing in a mega battle at the local GW store years and years ago. The manager gave me command of Cypher, reasoning that he was completely idiot proof and couldn't actually be killed, as he had a 4++ on 3D6 special save against losing his last remaining wound.

So naturally, his squad of 5 Fallen, (Chosen w/Plasma pistols), manage to explode themselves. Cypher now all on his lonesome, proceeds to take a face beating from a wall of 'Nids.

As he quickly gets dropped down to his last wound thanks to my inability to pass any 3+ saves, his special save kicks in...

Result, triple 1's... Our manager orders me to re-roll it - result, triple 1's again.

Net result? I was banned by the staff from ever using Cypher against within the store's confines, owing to the fact we nearly had a mass casualty event on our hands due to excessive laughter.


My all time "favourite" epic fail death:
2003 Toronto Grand Tournament. I'm playing my Salamanders, (as they were supposedly the 'sucky' Marine army due to effectively being 'Dwarves in PA'), vs. Phil Kelly's Ulthwe Eldar. (Yikes!)

My Force Commander who I'd tooled up with a Sally Mantle (no ID from double str wounds), Thunder hammer, pistol + Iron Halo charges into Phil's Wraithlord, takes a single punch off the head like a champ, and then cracks it across the kneecaps, slicing the Wraithlord clean in half!

As he celebrates his (literally!) crushing victory and dances across the mangled mass of wraithbone towards a nearby objective marker, he trips over a booby trap, which explodes in his face, and proceeds to paint the nearby rocks with a spray of 'liquid Space Marine'.
(re: the scenario rules had us rolling for each objective marker: one a 1, it was a booby trap and exploded with a 5"/S6 blast. I rolled 1 for the trap, Phil wounded my commander, and then I rolled another 1 for his save, which took my commander's last wound)

It was at least comical to behold!