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TTS is indeed great for playing 40k. I started playing 40 k 8th edition on TTS. Nowadays i mostly play Horus heresy.

Based on your buzz words - I don't think you are gonna get along anywhere outside of your internet echo chambers. In the real world people are insensitive mostly and you are going to need to grow thicker skin/develop a sense of humor in order to interact with people.

 Xenomancers wrote:
Based on your buzz words - I don't think you are gonna get along anywhere outside of your internet echo chambers. In the real world people are insensitive mostly and you are going to need to grow thicker skin/develop a sense of humor in order to interact with people.

"Based on buzz words?" Look at your buzzwords!

The award for the single worst piece of life advice I've ever seen on Dakka goes right to you. "Grow a thicker skin!" and suggesting you should completely immunize yourself to other people's criticism and opinions is an argument straight from the “but she was wearing a short skirt!” academy of victim-blaming.

 CEO Kasen wrote:

 Xenomancers wrote:
Based on your buzz words - I don't think you are gonna get along anywhere outside of your internet echo chambers. In the real world people are insensitive mostly and you are going to need to grow thicker skin/develop a sense of humor in order to interact with people.

"Based on buzz words?" Look at your buzzwords!

The award for the single worst piece of life advice I've ever seen on Dakka goes right to you. "Grow a thicker skin!" and suggesting you should completely immunize yourself to other people's criticism and opinions is an argument straight from the “but she was wearing a short skirt!” academy of victim-blaming.

This guy isn't a victim. He's trying to play 40k with strangers who are grown adults and might use some "bad words" from time to time they might even say something you dont agree with or something that offends your oh so obvious sensibilities and "moral superiority". Give me a break man. If you can't get along with a group of nerds playing board games it is you that is the problem. Board gamers are literally the easiest people in society to get along with. Their hobby demands personal interaction.

 Xenomancers wrote:

 CEO Kasen wrote:

 Xenomancers wrote:
Based on your buzz words - I don't think you are gonna get along anywhere outside of your internet echo chambers. In the real world people are insensitive mostly and you are going to need to grow thicker skin/develop a sense of humor in order to interact with people.

"Based on buzz words?" Look at your buzzwords!

The award for the single worst piece of life advice I've ever seen on Dakka goes right to you. "Grow a thicker skin!" and suggesting you should completely immunize yourself to other people's criticism and opinions is an argument straight from the “but she was wearing a short skirt!” academy of victim-blaming.

This guy isn't a victim. He's trying to play 40k with strangers who are grown adults and might use some "bad words" from time to time they might even say something you dont agree with or something that offends your oh so obvious sensibilities and "moral superiority". Give me a break man. If you can't get along with a group of nerds playing board games it is you that is the problem. Board gamers are literally the easiest people in society to get along with. Their hobby demands personal interaction.

Alternately, they're not a fan of casual sexism, racism and homophobia, which has always been my typical experience with 'real world' board gamers in a hobby/comic shop. YMMV.

 Xenomancers wrote:

 CEO Kasen wrote:

 Xenomancers wrote:
Based on your buzz words - I don't think you are gonna get along anywhere outside of your internet echo chambers. In the real world people are insensitive mostly and you are going to need to grow thicker skin/develop a sense of humor in order to interact with people.

"Based on buzz words?" Look at your buzzwords!

The award for the single worst piece of life advice I've ever seen on Dakka goes right to you. "Grow a thicker skin!" and suggesting you should completely immunize yourself to other people's criticism and opinions is an argument straight from the “but she was wearing a short skirt!” academy of victim-blaming.

This guy isn't a victim. He's trying to play 40k with strangers who are grown adults and might use some "bad words" from time to time they might even say something you dont agree with or something that offends your oh so obvious sensibilities and "moral superiority". Give me a break man. If you can't get along with a group of nerds playing board games it is you that is the problem. Board gamers are literally the easiest people in society to get along with. Their hobby demands personal interaction.

Bad metas are bad metas. It happens.

 Xenomancers wrote:

 CEO Kasen wrote:

 Xenomancers wrote:
Based on your buzz words - I don't think you are gonna get along anywhere outside of your internet echo chambers. In the real world people are insensitive mostly and you are going to need to grow thicker skin/develop a sense of humor in order to interact with people.

"Based on buzz words?" Look at your buzzwords!

The award for the single worst piece of life advice I've ever seen on Dakka goes right to you. "Grow a thicker skin!" and suggesting you should completely immunize yourself to other people's criticism and opinions is an argument straight from the “but she was wearing a short skirt!” academy of victim-blaming.

This guy isn't a victim. He's trying to play 40k with strangers who are grown adults and might use some "bad words" from time to time they might even say something you dont agree with or something that offends your oh so obvious sensibilities and "moral superiority". Give me a break man. If you can't get along with a group of nerds playing board games it is you that is the problem. Board gamers are literally the easiest people in society to get along with. Their hobby demands personal interaction.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA oh wait you're serious.

Literally any social group is easier to get along with than people in the 'nerd umbrella' who require a shared competitive activity that everyone is actively doing and thinking about in order to interact with people because they're incapable of holding a normal human conversation in any other context.

Anyone I know purely through gaming I know the absolute least about as a person among any of my groups of people that I hang out with willingly, i.e. not at work. I know about what they like in the context of the wargame/video game we play together, I MAYBE know what job they have or the name of their partner/kids if I've been playing with them for years, and a couple of them I know better...if we've had some other occasion to hang out while not playing the shared game.

I used to think I hated playing TTRPGs until I realized, no, actually the rule system doesn't matter at all, what matters is you have to find already functional humans and convince them to play a TTRPG instead of attempting to sift through the mountains of colossal donkey-caves who already want to play TTRPGS trying to find a group of five functional humans.

the_scotsman wrote:

 Xenomancers wrote:

 CEO Kasen wrote:

 Xenomancers wrote:
Based on your buzz words - I don't think you are gonna get along anywhere outside of your internet echo chambers. In the real world people are insensitive mostly and you are going to need to grow thicker skin/develop a sense of humor in order to interact with people.

"Based on buzz words?" Look at your buzzwords!

The award for the single worst piece of life advice I've ever seen on Dakka goes right to you. "Grow a thicker skin!" and suggesting you should completely immunize yourself to other people's criticism and opinions is an argument straight from the “but she was wearing a short skirt!” academy of victim-blaming.

This guy isn't a victim. He's trying to play 40k with strangers who are grown adults and might use some "bad words" from time to time they might even say something you dont agree with or something that offends your oh so obvious sensibilities and "moral superiority". Give me a break man. If you can't get along with a group of nerds playing board games it is you that is the problem. Board gamers are literally the easiest people in society to get along with. Their hobby demands personal interaction.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA oh wait you're serious.

Literally any social group is easier to get along with than people in the 'nerd umbrella' who require a shared competitive activity that everyone is actively doing and thinking about in order to interact with people because they're incapable of holding a normal human conversation in any other context.

Anyone I know purely through gaming I know the absolute least about as a person among any of my groups of people that I hang out with willingly, i.e. not at work. I know about what they like in the context of the wargame/video game we play together, I MAYBE know what job they have or the name of their partner/kids if I've been playing with them for years, and a couple of them I know better...if we've had some other occasion to hang out while not playing the shared game.

I used to think I hated playing TTRPGs until I realized, no, actually the rule system doesn't matter at all, what matters is you have to find already functional humans and convince them to play a TTRPG instead of attempting to sift through the mountains of colossal donkey-caves who already want to play TTRPGS trying to find a group of five functional humans.

Way to go enforcing stereotypes! You do you though. I agree with Xenomancers for once, OP is a massive snowflake and I do not share his or your characterization of wargamers. Maybe different experiences and all that, but while yes most people I play/played with are nerds to some degree (it comes with the game) not a single one of them are spergs obsessed with only their hobby and nothing else. This goes for my garage-hammer/games with friends and pick up games at the store. Every single one was a normal dude who just so happened to also play Warhammer for his hobby. Not sure why you and the OP have trouble connecting to fellow hobbyist but maybe you either got unlucky or I got lucky.

Voss wrote:

 Xenomancers wrote:

 CEO Kasen wrote:

 Xenomancers wrote:
Based on your buzz words - I don't think you are gonna get along anywhere outside of your internet echo chambers. In the real world people are insensitive mostly and you are going to need to grow thicker skin/develop a sense of humor in order to interact with people.

"Based on buzz words?" Look at your buzzwords!

The award for the single worst piece of life advice I've ever seen on Dakka goes right to you. "Grow a thicker skin!" and suggesting you should completely immunize yourself to other people's criticism and opinions is an argument straight from the “but she was wearing a short skirt!” academy of victim-blaming.

This guy isn't a victim. He's trying to play 40k with strangers who are grown adults and might use some "bad words" from time to time they might even say something you dont agree with or something that offends your oh so obvious sensibilities and "moral superiority". Give me a break man. If you can't get along with a group of nerds playing board games it is you that is the problem. Board gamers are literally the easiest people in society to get along with. Their hobby demands personal interaction.

Alternately, they're not a fan of casual sexism, racism and homophobia, which has always been my typical experience with 'real world' board gamers in a hobby/comic shop. YMMV.

The problem with that argument is that every one of those is is subject to personal interpretation. Xenomancer is correct in this case.

 aphyon wrote:

Voss wrote:

 Xenomancers wrote:

 CEO Kasen wrote:

 Xenomancers wrote:
Based on your buzz words - I don't think you are gonna get along anywhere outside of your internet echo chambers. In the real world people are insensitive mostly and you are going to need to grow thicker skin/develop a sense of humor in order to interact with people.

"Based on buzz words?" Look at your buzzwords!

The award for the single worst piece of life advice I've ever seen on Dakka goes right to you. "Grow a thicker skin!" and suggesting you should completely immunize yourself to other people's criticism and opinions is an argument straight from the “but she was wearing a short skirt!” academy of victim-blaming.

This guy isn't a victim. He's trying to play 40k with strangers who are grown adults and might use some "bad words" from time to time they might even say something you dont agree with or something that offends your oh so obvious sensibilities and "moral superiority". Give me a break man. If you can't get along with a group of nerds playing board games it is you that is the problem. Board gamers are literally the easiest people in society to get along with. Their hobby demands personal interaction.

Alternately, they're not a fan of casual sexism, racism and homophobia, which has always been my typical experience with 'real world' board gamers in a hobby/comic shop. YMMV.

The problem with that argument is that every one of those is is subject to personal interpretation. Xenomancer is correct in this case.

Uh, no. People tossing out racial and homophobic slurs as insults isn't 'personal interpretation.' Whether its the Magic kids calling each other <deleted> because they pulled good cards too many times in a row, or people muttering 'That's <xxx>' when their dice come up bad, there isn't any 'interpretation' going on.
Plus just on general principles, no one else has the ability to tell someone else what they're 'allowed' to be offended by.

And that doesn't even count the extreme examples I've come across in a couple shops, where people have had not-at-all-quiet conversations about the 'benefits' of certain old historical practices. That's rare, but it has happened enough that when I go to a new shop I hang about for a while and listen to the kind of things the regulars chat about. Sometimes I leave and never go back.

Very much contrary to what he's saying, gamers can be extremely nasty and... exclusionary. Not everywhere, not all the time, but I've definitely been in places where not-male or not-white means the place goes quiet and every eye _stares_. Even, bizarrely, in open plan shops in malls, where the crowd outside the doorway is pretty much every spectrum imaginable, but once inside the line its very clear that only some are welcome.

If its something you've never seen yourself, you're either lucky or unobservant.

Wow Voss you completely missed the point

What i meant-It is subject to personal interpretation as to weather or not you find it personally offensive or not.


Our FLGS has had over the last 20 years or so have had players from every walk of life, religion, sexual preference and ethnicity. we talk GAK to each other as friends do. the catholic guy, got just as much flak as the atheists, white guys, asian guys, gay guys, furries etc... in fact they crack some of the best jokes and innuendo about their own groups. nobody takes it as anything more than social ribbing because we are all grown adults who can joke around without being offended by words. although we do request you have a working knowledge of Mel Brooks and monty python/british comedy references at a minimum.

 aphyon wrote:
Wow Voss you completely missed the point

What i meant-It is subject to personal interpretation as to weather or not you find it personally offensive or not.


Our FLGS has had over the last 20 years or so have had players from every walk of life, religion, sexual preference and ethnicity. we talk GAK to each other as friends do. the catholic guy, got just as much flak as the atheists, white guys, asian guys, gay guys, furries etc... in fact they crack some of the best jokes and innuendo about their own groups. nobody takes it as anything more than social ribbing because we are all grown adults who can joke around without being offended by words. although we do request you have a working knowledge of Mel Brooks and monty python/british comedy references at a minimum.

Couldn't have said it better myself. Well done.

Well one must have priorities....like merchandising.....space balls the flame thrower

 aphyon wrote:
Wow Voss you completely missed the point

What i meant-It is subject to personal interpretation as to weather or not you find it personally offensive or not.


Our FLGS has had over the last 20 years or so have had players from every walk of life, religion, sexual preference and ethnicity. we talk GAK to each other as friends do. the catholic guy, got just as much flak as the atheists, white guys, asian guys, gay guys, furries etc... in fact they crack some of the best jokes and innuendo about their own groups. nobody takes it as anything more than social ribbing because we are all grown adults who can joke around without being offended by words. although we do request you have a working knowledge of Mel Brooks and monty python/british comedy references at a minimum.

With my friends we make some of the nastiest comments all in light jest. And in my friend group we have an homosexual communist and a fascist and they are both great friends (Don't tell me how they work).

But my FLGS is not my private call with my friends, or a reunion in my house. Is a public space where a ton of people enters everyday, and let me tell you, entering in a new gaming space and earing people insulting each other , making all kind of "lol I'm so offensive, I'm a rebel" comments, leaves a very bad impression, even for someone that routinely jokes in his personal circles with all kind of dark stuff.

Not because I'm offended by those comments, but because theres a proper place for everything. I don't know whats with this day and age that basic education is throw away because "I should be free to say whatever whenever", like, ok dude, but don't expect to everybody to crack a laugh at your extremely funny 9/11 joke in a public space.

I remember a good couple of cases, like one where three guys where joking about hiring some prostitutes after a tournament to celebrate their defeat. And a couple tables back, in a painting tutorial, there was a kid (7-8 years old) with his mother. And the look in the face of the mother... you can imagine what it was. That kid never came back to the store, not his mother.

And this is the problem that most people that defend this kind of behaviour don't understand. The FLGS is not YOUR private space. I mean, if the shop owner is so stupid that doesn't enforces some kind of common decency in his store, his problem, but lets not pretend that a store where people go to play with magic cards and plastic miniatures is some place where people should be expected to ear and face all kind of nasty stuff.
Where do you play? In a road bar out of Sons of Anarchy?

Thats an extremely unwelcoming space, and personally I'm glad the store owner of where I play is a little more reasonable. Shes great and we have never feelt "censured" when playing tournaments, because as you said, we are functioning adults that know that theres a place for everything and know how to behave in public spaces around people that we don't know.

What Galas said.

I don't care what consenting people do to each other. But if they don't grasp that there are other people around who aren't in on it, in a public space, they need some remedial social education.

 Galas wrote:

But my FLGS is not my private call with my friends, or a reunion in my house. Is a public space where a ton of people enters everyday, and let me tell you, entering in a new gaming space and earing people insulting each other , making all kind of "lol I'm so offensive, I'm a rebel" comments, leaves a very bad impression, even for someone that routinely jokes in his personal circles with all kind of dark stuff.

...

And this is the problem that most people that defend this kind of behaviour don't understand. The FLGS is not YOUR private space. I mean, if the shop owner is so stupid that doesn't enforces some kind of common decency in his store, his problem, but lets not pretend that a store where people go to play with magic cards and plastic miniatures is some place where people should be expected to ear and face all kind of nasty stuff.

Louder for the people the back.

If your personal friend group is ok throwing around Holocaust jokes, casual misogyny, ethnic and homophobic slurs, and whatever else, then, uh... good for you I guess? But maybe consider keeping that kind of conversation and "humor" in the comfort of your own home, rather than in the public space of your local FLGS where you never know who might be listening and what they may have gone through in their lives.

I don't know whats with this day and age that basic education is throw away because "I should be free to say whatever whenever", like,

I don't care what consenting people do to each other. But if they don't grasp that there are other people around who aren't in on it, in a public space, they need some remedial social education.

How 2010 of you, it's actually the opposite trend now, you are not allowed to say anything lest it trigger, micro aggress or possibly offend somebody in earshot.

Fun fact-speech that everybody agrees with needs no protections. you have the right to be offended.(for those of us who live in the US with constitutional protections-other countries vary greatly-see count dankula)

I mean, if the shop owner is so stupid that doesn't enforces some kind of common decency in his store, his problem,

Yes there are rules especially in front of kids-no swearing, drugs or alcohol (or gamer funk) is allowed in the game area. and after the store side closes kids are not allowed under the age of 14 and must be with a parent/guardian

If your personal friend group is ok throwing around Holocaust jokes, casual misogyny, ethnic and homophobic slurs, and whatever else, then, uh... good for you I guess? But maybe consider keeping that kind of conversation and "humor" in the comfort of your own home, rather than in the public space of your local FLGS where you never know who might be listening and what they may have gone through in their lives.

Considering the majority group comes in later (say after 7pm) and usually stays till 3am or later long after the store side closes, most of whom are prior or current military members it really isn't an issue.

I think we can all agree. Shouting racist jokes in a public space is not acceptable behavior. Way to completely go over the top on that one.

Playing 40k is about finding people you enjoy interacting with for a relatively extended period of time. If you don't like interacting with a given person in that way, the solution isn't to "get thicker skin," it's to find people you do enjoy interacting with in that manner.

Of course, the old adage about "if you encounter one fethhole during your day, he's the fethhole. If everyone you encounter is a fethhole, it's you that's the fethhole" applies here, as it does anywhere else. If some of the people you encounter at game stores aren't enjoyable to be around, that's a them problem. If you can't find *any* other people to play 40k with who you can stand, it's probably a you problem.

I think Inq28 may be an answer to your problems:
https://28-mag.com/

This is spiraling off topic quickly. So might as well....

We're talking about a few different things that overlap in messy ways.

(1) People are free to say whatever they want. But that doesn't mean they are immune to consequence. Other people are free to criticize the speech of others and to express themselves if they are uncomfortable with what they are hearing.

(2) There is the general question of social-awareness, sensitivity, and norms when expressing yourself in a public space and within ear shot of people who might take issue with what you are saying. Part of a being a mature human being is being considerate of others.

(3) There is the matter of how "gaming spaces" walk the line between a being a public vs. functioning as a private space. Different gaming outlets/stores/clubs are going to approach this differently, and there isn't one right answer - but there are impacts nonetheless to how things are managed. Some might be turned-off that they can't trash talk or make off-color jokes, others might be offended by that. It's up to the managers to set the tone that they want, ultimately.

 aphyon wrote:
Wow Voss you completely missed the point

What i meant-It is subject to personal interpretation as to weather or not you find it personally offensive or not.


Our FLGS has had over the last 20 years or so have had players from every walk of life, religion, sexual preference and ethnicity. we talk GAK to each other as friends do. the catholic guy, got just as much flak as the atheists, white guys, asian guys, gay guys, furries etc... in fact they crack some of the best jokes and innuendo about their own groups. nobody takes it as anything more than social ribbing because we are all grown adults who can joke around without being offended by words. although we do request you have a working knowledge of Mel Brooks and monty python/british comedy references at a minimum.

I just want to make a point that people laugh at jokes they themselves might find offensive, because they don't want to feel left out. So in reality you could actually be hurting someone with what you believe are casual jokes.

 Daedalus81 wrote:

 aphyon wrote:
Wow Voss you completely missed the point

What i meant-It is subject to personal interpretation as to weather or not you find it personally offensive or not.


Our FLGS has had over the last 20 years or so have had players from every walk of life, religion, sexual preference and ethnicity. we talk GAK to each other as friends do. the catholic guy, got just as much flak as the atheists, white guys, asian guys, gay guys, furries etc... in fact they crack some of the best jokes and innuendo about their own groups. nobody takes it as anything more than social ribbing because we are all grown adults who can joke around without being offended by words. although we do request you have a working knowledge of Mel Brooks and monty python/british comedy references at a minimum.

I just want to make a point that people laugh at jokes they themselves might find offensive, because they don't want to feel left out. So in reality you could actually be hurting someone with what you believe are casual jokes.

What you are describing is called...tolerance. It is a good thing to have.

There are some really interesting...takes in this conversation but I am shocked how many people think that any and all things are tolerable in a group setting of adults.

I work in a detention facility in law enforcement and yeah, I make and hear some awful jokes coming from convicted murders and gang members. The audience is completely different than if I am at a restaurant eating dinner with friends. In a gaming group there IS an undercurrent of horrible behavior that is inexcusable because there is a tendency for people with no social awareness or social skills to heavily latch onto these hobbies we enjoy.

There is nothing wrong with making what ever jokes you want or saying what ever you want when you are surrounded by friends who understand your true beliefs or understand what is or is not a joke. But when you are in public, AKA a FLGS, even though you are all adults not all adults have the same level of depravity or understanding of inside jokes. If your little circle of friends are okay with some black humor, that is cool but it is going to be very exclusionary to people not in that circle. Military, LEO and other high stress dangerous jobs lead to some dark humor that most people do not find funny but find extremely offensive, so those of us involved in those world need to understand and temper what we say when we are in public. No matter how well you know a public, sometimes new people try to join that group and those people deserve the same respect as a senior member of that group.

 Xenomancers wrote:

 Daedalus81 wrote:

 aphyon wrote:
Wow Voss you completely missed the point

What i meant-It is subject to personal interpretation as to weather or not you find it personally offensive or not.


Our FLGS has had over the last 20 years or so have had players from every walk of life, religion, sexual preference and ethnicity. we talk GAK to each other as friends do. the catholic guy, got just as much flak as the atheists, white guys, asian guys, gay guys, furries etc... in fact they crack some of the best jokes and innuendo about their own groups. nobody takes it as anything more than social ribbing because we are all grown adults who can joke around without being offended by words. although we do request you have a working knowledge of Mel Brooks and monty python/british comedy references at a minimum.

I just want to make a point that people laugh at jokes they themselves might find offensive, because they don't want to feel left out. So in reality you could actually be hurting someone with what you believe are casual jokes.

What you are describing is called...tolerance. It is a good thing to have.

Actually is called peer pressure, the action of forcing you to endure or do stuff you don't want to, like to, or that makes you unhappy just to fit a given group.

 Galas wrote:

 Xenomancers wrote:

 Daedalus81 wrote:

 aphyon wrote:
Wow Voss you completely missed the point

What i meant-It is subject to personal interpretation as to weather or not you find it personally offensive or not.


Our FLGS has had over the last 20 years or so have had players from every walk of life, religion, sexual preference and ethnicity. we talk GAK to each other as friends do. the catholic guy, got just as much flak as the atheists, white guys, asian guys, gay guys, furries etc... in fact they crack some of the best jokes and innuendo about their own groups. nobody takes it as anything more than social ribbing because we are all grown adults who can joke around without being offended by words. although we do request you have a working knowledge of Mel Brooks and monty python/british comedy references at a minimum.

I just want to make a point that people laugh at jokes they themselves might find offensive, because they don't want to feel left out. So in reality you could actually be hurting someone with what you believe are casual jokes.

What you are describing is called...tolerance. It is a good thing to have.

Actually is called peer pressure, the action of forcing you to endure or do stuff you don't want to, like to, or that makes you unhappy just to fit a given group.

No one is forcing anything. Said person can leave at their own leisure.

Straight outta websters dictionary.

Tolerance
capacity to endure pain or hardship : endurance, fortitude, stamina. 2a : sympathy or indulgence for beliefs or practices differing from or conflicting with one's own. b : the act of allowing something : toleration.

If you can't handle people saying words you don't like around you. You are what we call intolerant.
Which is defined as - "not tolerant of views, beliefs, or behavior that differ from one's own."

I guess you should be intolerant of some things. Like...physical violence/ vandalism / criminal acts...but...words? Likely spoken in a joking manner? Please. We are human beings. No one is perfect.

Right. We're human. No one is perfect. We're also capable of learning and understanding. I used to shout how all my friends were gay when player Counterstrike in the 90s. Then I wound up feeling really bad when one of them came out as gay.

That you think it is normal for people to leave a group when the group is being intolerant is not a great take on society.

Well this conversation certainly isn't the helping the OP feel any more comfortable with this hobby.

Try to think of others before yourself. It's called not being an a-hole.

Arbiter_Shade wrote:
There are some really interesting...takes in this conversation but I am shocked how many people think that any and all things are tolerable in a group setting of adults.

I work in a detention facility in law enforcement and yeah, I make and hear some awful jokes coming from convicted murders and gang members. The audience is completely different than if I am at a restaurant eating dinner with friends. In a gaming group there IS an undercurrent of horrible behavior that is inexcusable because there is a tendency for people with no social awareness or social skills to heavily latch onto these hobbies we enjoy.

There is nothing wrong with making what ever jokes you want or saying what ever you want when you are surrounded by friends who understand your true beliefs or understand what is or is not a joke. But when you are in public, AKA a FLGS, even though you are all adults not all adults have the same level of depravity or understanding of inside jokes. If your little circle of friends are okay with some black humor, that is cool but it is going to be very exclusionary to people not in that circle. Military, LEO and other high stress dangerous jobs lead to some dark humor that most people do not find funny but find extremely offensive, so those of us involved in those world need to understand and temper what we say when we are in public. No matter how well you know a public, sometimes new people try to join that group and those people deserve the same respect as a senior member of that group.

Very much this. I say terrible things with my friends or SO that I would never say on Dakka or Reddit or an in-game chat, and am comfortable making edgy jokes with them because they know me and know I'm not actually racist/zoophilic/whatever.

If someone makes an edgy transphobic joke in a public forum and no one official calls them out on it, an onlooker or new member may not know whether said group is or isn't transphobic and the entire group in which the joke was made becomes tainted. "It's just a joke" are words that have been used to justify a pretty staggering amount of thoughtless and awful behavior.

In any public setting, the problem usually isn't people being "thin-skinned;" often the people saying "get thicker skin" are hoping that everyone else in that space inoculate themselves to their own thoughtlessness and lack of social awareness, and all this is why Xeno's post pissed me off so much.

 Xenomancers wrote:
...If you can't handle people saying words you don't like around you. You are what we call intolerant.
Which is defined as - "not tolerant of views, beliefs, or behavior that differ from one's own."

I guess you should be intolerant of some things. Like...physical violence/ vandalism / criminal acts...but...words? Likely spoken in a joking manner? Please. We are human beings. No one is perfect...

This is a horrendous oversimplification that assumes that you have no right to expect others to be tolerant of you in any way.

If you're not comfortable in a group, or if you're not having fun with a game, leaving is not a failure of tolerance. Not everyone in the world enjoys everyone else's company, and it isn't some kind of deep moral failing to not hang out with people you don't like or play games you don't enjoy.