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Made in us
Outraged Witness







The Pasta Concordia started sailing in 2006.
It is surely the grandest vessel ever registered by the Mushroom Kingdom Maritime Authority.
With a total 1500 luxurious cabins, 38 percent of the staterooms on board feature balconies.



On the Pasta Concordia you can expect between 3000 to 3600 passengers on a typical sailing.
This means that at peak and holiday sailings the Concordia has a space ratio of 31/1.
(A space ratio less than 33 means that you may find the ship crowded in areas but the rapidly mounting casualties soon ameliorate this.)



Today the two sides were made up of Woodie and Hart's Spider Clan Orks vs. Algosith, JR and Drac's Mole Patrol Plus.
Team Mole won the deployment roll and opted to split their force into fore and aft detachments.
Unfortunately they underestimated the grandeur of the Pasta and its 952 foot length / 116 foot beam.
In board space the two halves were an eternity away from each other and the Spiders immediately charged south.
The forward group would never reach the front, but there's always plenty of food and entertainment options on a cruise ship.



"Then let us be about it!" growled the Spider Clan Drillboss as his boarding party surged aftwards.
They'd split the mob into two groups.
Hart's plan was to have an initial 1/3 of the Boyz rush forward along the Olandia deck with the Tarantulas following.
Lastly the Drillboss with the remaining 2/3 of the Wild Orks would pour in and finish matters.



Against the success of such an action was the Mole Patrol's near-immaculate turtle defense.
Algosith started blasting down sections of wall creating an expanding field of fire.

The Concordia was the proud flagship of its class, with a total of 5 vessels sharing its design.
2006 - Pasta Concordia - No longer sailing
2007 - Pasta Serena - Crew and passengers abducted by Drukhari, Decommissioned
2009 - Pasta Pacifica - Coopted by Genestealer Cult, Decommissioned
2011 - Pasta Favolosa - Capsized by crew following attack by Necron Raiders, Decommissioned
2012 - Pasta Fascinosa - Repurposed into daemonic pleasure yacht by Slaaneshi neverborn, Decommissioned



The Wild Boyz continued past the T-section of the hallway as the Land Raider and Bolt Throwers tore down more of the cabin walls, modifying them for accessibility.



I've rarely seen more natural 1s as from this Land Raider's lascannons.
The moles struggled to clear the wattle and daub while the Boyz were running full bore in their direction.



"They will meet God today at the end of that hall" said Hart (I assume he meant Gork and/or Mork)
As the damage (and the eventual drydock maintenance expense) mounted, Hart found it necessary to modulate his strategy.
The array of Tarantulas was repositioned to face the Land Raider squarely and he began blasting through the stairwell and connecting walls.



Beginning to see what his opponent was doing, Algosith pivoted and backed the tank away.
This denied the Tarantulas the shot they would ultimately need to knock out the enemy armor, while the mortar spotters would have eyes on anyone advancing down the middle.
Nevertheless the lascannons from both sides along with the two heavy plasma guns tore through wall after wall, filling the air with the smell of ozone and ever-growing clouds of HVAC-clogging smoke.

[Smoking Policy] Smoking was eliminated on all ships January 1, 2014 except for designated areas on open decks and the cigar lounges, if applicable.



Since the Land Raider had broken down so many of the cabin walls at this point, the forward group of Orks crowded into room 1436.
Meanwhile the following mass of Boyz turned left at the T-section to create a screen for the advancing Tarantulas.



An interior cabin on the Pasta Concordia has sleeping room for 4 vacationers and standing room for about 50 infantry.
The Boyz crammed into the chamber breaking the color tv, ripping and staining the bed sheets and just making a huge mess in general.
Wild Boy Orks grow up in the wilderness and must learn about modern civilization from their more worldy, sophisticated seniors.
In this case the Drillboss wasn't present to restrain them and they simply had no concept of how expensive the little bottles in the minifridge truly were.



[Features]
- Two twins that convert to queen-size
- Closet space
- Private bath with shower
- Seating area
- Desk
- Sofa bed
- Vanity
- Television
- Phone
- Hairdryer
- Mini bar
- Safe
- Category IS has a single bed.



But slowly they began to hack their way into room 1440 next door, chopping furiously at the connecting wall with clubs, staves and hatchets.
All the while the crews of the mortars and bolt throwers were scooting their weapons back and forth across the deck based on the ever-shifting range and LOS considerations.
There were no self-serve laundromats so they would have to turn in their sweat-drenched shirts to room service when this was over.



Pasta divides cabins into 4 different categories.
Classic cabins offer the most affordable prices while the Grand Suite has the fewest bloodthirsty greenskin savages.
Premium cabins have free perks such as a continental breakfast in your cabin (on request).
Samsara cabins offer unlimited access to the spa and also offer a purifying shower filter, essential for washing off the blood of your enemies, and a kettle with a selection of Ayurvedic teas to try.
(Amenities are subject to change without notice)



As the structural damage mounted the Mole Mortars fired at a spot designated by the spotters, opening up a 3" radius crater which sent nearly a dozen boyz plummeting into the ships holds.
Since the battle was being waged on the 1st deck, and we had no floorplan for the holds/engineering/pumps etc., they were out of bounds and removed from play.
We debuted the use of a site called Draw Chat so that players could indicate where they wanted to move/shoot with greater precision.



Though it was arguably a stalemate, I awarded Algosith's team the victory as he'd drawn the first and only blood of the match.
Hart's Spider Clan would have to be satisfied with having their room service compted and 10% off their next cruise.
We'd been at it a long time and the killbox Algo had carved was deemed too deadly.
The Boyz had been hemmed in from all sides and their situation only continued to worsen.
Eventually they'd have had no avenue of approach and no cover whatsoever.

This was not a battle as we typically understand them.
It reminded me of the knife-and-shield combat from the Dune novels.
Opponents circling each other waiting for the right opportunity to strike, not too quickly, not too slowly, knowing that a single thrust will settle it.
In its own way it was more of a tense, white-knuckled affair than our previous massacres and vehicle pile-ups.
They each had to think several moves ahead to take into account distance, angle, and terrain destruction-related delays.
Algo and Hart each have a very methodical playstyle and watching them compete in 4D Chess with each other was a nice treat, like a looted Toblarone after all the dust and blood had been rinsed off.


Thanks for reading.
Remember we are always looking for new players.

This message was edited 4 times. Last update was at 2022/10/04 23:53:46


   
 
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