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We'd all like to see it.  We all hope it will be Lord of the Rings, we all fear it will be Battle Beyond the Stars and we'd all settle for Starship Troopers.  So imagine if you had the chance to pitch it, maybe you're trapped in an elevator with a Hollywood mogol or something.

Here are the constrains:

Budget is limited.  You have a budget for 2 large battles (maybe one ground, one space) and a few skirmishes. 

Similarly you can do one or two worlds that require extensive sets and CGI but the rest are going to be a desert planet that looks a lot like california, a forest planet that looks a lot like california, a city that looks a lot like LA with some high tech buildings photoshopped in, a futuristic building that looks a lot like a modern factory... you get the idea.

You must have a hero. 

You must have a love interest.

It must be under 2 hours so they can pack in more showings at the multiplex.  Beloved books like LotR can get 3 hour+ movies, minor game properties get 90 minutes.

And... GO!

2 kids from Wakausha, WI, one a complete stereotypical gaming geek, the other a closet gamer, but on the lacrosse team (who plays the first character but is kinda ashamed of him), hear about a 40k tournament in Chicago, supposedly the greatest gaming convention ever. They're determined to win this tournament, and so, despite homework, girl troubles, bullies, car troubles, wrong turns, mishaps, and an encounter with a cheetah, our heroes make it to the tournament. On the way, they discover that they're not so different after all, that they can be real friends, and that hot, hot girls who wear chainmail bikinis play 40k too!

Add some cgi to starship troopers 5to make them look like marines, they fight the Nids/ get rid of the love interest.

"You must have a love interest." There goes space marines. Which means Imperial Guard. Which means "Starship Troopers." Movie flop.

I'd go for the cool '80s sci-fi movie plot that involved a regular guy (in this case a [fat, obviously] nerd) who gets taken into space and becomes a hero. I think in this movie you can get away with a pseudo-love interest as the socially slowed nerd is confronted by a multitude of sisters of battle (pre-steroids, I guess) and other lovely females and he stumbles through them all if only to end up in an impossible matchup with the hottest one with a feel-good message about people liking you for who you are or another sappy reason.

If it will be anywhere like the hollywood driven, brainless LOTR movies riding stereotypes like rodeo...I prefer not to bother.

I don't care how long I have to wait, make it something different. And, yeah, drop the love story, 40k is a doomed place.

Greets
Schepp himself

Posted By stonefox on 09/17/2006 9:33 AM
"You must have a love interest." There goes space marines. Which means Imperial Guard. Which means "Starship Troopers." Movie flop.    

Whoah, whoah, whoah there buddy! Who says Space Marines don't have any love interest? After all, what do you think they do in their daily thirty minutes of "free time"? Sure ain't looking at the latest issue of "Adeptus Soritas: Exxxposed" or "Battle Sisters Gone Wild". No, marines are all about brotherly love. Hot, steamy love. So plenty of room for love interest there, just the Brokeback Mountain variety, sans wives. After all, those fearless battle brothers of the Adeptus Astartes are married to their loyalty of Chapter and Emperor (and each other...) :p

And now, if Jester will give us one of his brotherly love orations, we'll have a pitch for the romantic subplot of the movie.

Posted By stonefox on 09/17/2006 9:33 AM
"You must have a love interest." There goes space marines. Which means Imperial Guard. Which means "Starship Troopers." Movie flop.

I find your lack of faith disturbing.

 

OK opening shot, peaceful Eldar Exodite village living in harmony with nature and stuff and stuff and stuff.

BOOM Deathwatch droppods land backed up by 2 warhounds and a Reaver, Lemans Russ, Chimeras etc.  The Ground Eldar fight back as best they can with their dino riders and suchwot but are clearly outmatched.

Into the carnage walks the Inquisitor and ancient man covered in cybernetics and his young acoltye.  Throw in the comic releif Ogryn bodyguard and the stoic Marine Captain too.  Oh and the hot ninja chick with the creepy relationship with the Inquisitor.  They kick down the door of the temple, kill more Ground Eldar and capture the princess.  The Inquisitor's psychic powers predict she will somehow lead to the destruction of the Imperium and he is afraid to kill her until he knows more.

Back to space, clease the planet since it is tainted by the Xenos Filth. 

Begin diversonary subplot about killing more people.  I dunno, Orks or something.  Inquisitor and Marine act like proper Imperium people, torturing, killing, maiming, screaming slogans etc.  Audience starts to really dislike them.

Begin subplot where the Acolyte questions the beautiful Elf princess and teachs her of the Imperium as she opens his eyes to its cruelty and horror.  Acolyte feels doubts.

Just as the movie hits its climatic battle with the Orks, or whoever, the Acolyte betrays the Inquisitor, kills him, and flees in a shuttle with the Elf Princess and the comic relief Ogryn and creepy ninja chick.  YAY!  Evil Empire thwarted! 

Marine Captian vows revenge.

Shuttle sets course for the one place the Imperium cannot follow the eye of terror.

Sequel will be the young Acolyte discovering that while the Imperium is Bad, Chaos is Superbad Wrong.

Whoah. Nyar, you're right. The brokeback type of love is the "in-thing" for hollywood so you'll get the pseudointellectual audience too!

KK, wow. Just wow. My faith has been restored. I was foolish to question you since that would be the most awesome movie ever. It just needs some ninjapiraterobots, but tau stealthsuits easily fill that role.

It looks like there's more to this than I thought: Marines have a brokeback love interest, start to question their faith when the (obviously Catholic) inquisition tells them its wrong, looks towards the Emperor and the Primarchs for answers, discovers the Primarchs' brotherly love, spread the word to their brothers, and then fight the inquisition.  You'll still get the nice feel-good message about accepting people for who they are as well as the pseudointellectual "why can't we just accept people blah blah?" too!

Now, how do you tie in the fat nerd to this story? Maybe he rediscovers his love for furry yaoi (ahem) while browsing the internet after being captured by a large imperial warship? More importantly, does he gain the love of an eldar princess?

Posted By Kid_Kyoto on 09/17/2006 11:45 AM

Posted By stonefox on 09/17/2006 9:33 AM
"You must have a love interest." There goes space marines. Which means Imperial Guard. Which means "Starship Troopers." Movie flop.

I find your lack of faith disturbing.

 

OK opening shot, peaceful Eldar Exodite village living in harmony with nature and stuff and stuff and stuff.

BOOM Deathwatch droppods land backed up by 2 warhounds and a Reaver, Lemans Russ, Chimeras etc.  The Ground Eldar fight back as best they can with their dino riders and suchwot but are clearly outmatched.

Into the carnage walks the Inquisitor and ancient man covered in cybernetics and his young acoltye.  Throw in the comic releif Ogryn bodyguard and the stoic Marine Captain too.  Oh and the hot ninja chick with the creepy relationship with the Inquisitor.  They kick down the door of the temple, kill more Ground Eldar and capture the princess.  The Inquisitor's psychic powers predict she will somehow lead to the destruction of the Imperium and he is afraid to kill her until he knows more.

Back to space, clease the planet since it is tainted by the Xenos Filth. 

Begin diversonary subplot about killing more people.  I dunno, Orks or something.  Inquisitor and Marine act like proper Imperium people, torturing, killing, maiming, screaming slogans etc.  Audience starts to really dislike them.

Begin subplot where the Acolyte questions the beautiful Elf princess and teachs her of the Imperium as she opens his eyes to its cruelty and horror.  Acolyte feels doubts.

Just as the movie hits its climatic battle with the Orks, or whoever, the Acolyte betrays the Inquisitor, kills him, and flees in a shuttle with the Elf Princess and the comic relief Ogryn and creepy ninja chick.  YAY!  Evil Empire thwarted! 

Marine Captian vows revenge.

Shuttle sets course for the one place the Imperium cannot follow the eye of terror.

Sequel will be the young Acolyte discovering that while the Imperium is Bad, Chaos is Superbad Wrong.

While not too shabby, I still prefer "Felix and Patrick go to GenCon." Or whatever.      

Sisters of Battle annoint one another with holy oils before battle with fiendish Slaanesh cultettes and their daemonettes


follows is after-battle showers

All kidding aside....

2nd battle for armageddon.

Hero: Yarrick
Villain: Gazkhull

Ending Climax: Blood Angels drop in and lay waste to orks in droves, SPACE MARINE ROXXORZ, yet they are few. Humanity is besieged on all sides by blood thirsty slavering aliens, etc. They can just barely hold on.

In the grim darkness, blah blah.

We weep for the future.

Basically the movie would start with armageddon as this great paradise and how humanity seems to flourish, but as the orks invade and the battle rages on, the true nature of the imperium becomes more and more apparent. Conscripts, summary executions, leaving innocents to die, commanders throwing their troops lives away.

In walks yarrick, he's a true hero, he does all the right stuff. We all think to ourselves, maybe if there were more people like yarrick, the future would start to look bright.

Then the blood angels show up and start torching orks left and right in a gruesome whirlwind of destruction, the likes of which we have never even SEEN EVER. Even more savage then the ork assaults. Then a blood angel takes off his helmet revealing the humanity behind the mask, and we realize that the future is truly doomed.



That would be a kick ass movie.

Nice one White Dragon. I'd see it. Still needs Kirsten Dunst as Yarrick's personal assistant who gets tragically killed though.

Now for... NECROMUNDA - A Sci-Fi Channel Original Movie

Matte painting of Hive Primus over a barren desert.
Move inside into theteeming streets of the filthy underhive which looks a lot like Bulgaria or the Slovac Repubic or something.
Suddenly EXPLOSION! A bunch of guys in trench coats run out of a building chased by guys with jean jackets and bandanas. Gunfight ensues.
Then the enforcers show up in their high tech truck that looks a lot like a Russian APC with some junk glued on. They kill lots of people, civilians, gangers, they don't care. They stop for a smoke and some exposition. An Inquisitor stops by for more exposition.
We meet our heroes, a plucky bunch of teens trying to stay out of the way of the gangs and enforcers.
The crackdown leads them further underground where they meet Father Pious who takes them in. Opps. Turns out it's a genesteal cult. Some die. Probably the token black guy and the slutty girl. Plucky teen leader and the nice girl pull of an elaborate scheme that ends with a half dozen different gangs (bandanas, trench coats, bondage gear, riot grrls, mullets and robes) hitting the same place at the same time fighting genestealers and each other.
Yay!
But then they're caught by Enforcers and the Inquisitor. Enforcer leader asks if he wants them killed. Inquisitor laughs, of course not, they show promise. He'll train them as apprentices. Cut to look of horror on their faces.
The end?

Genius, Kid, pure genius. Eldar, Armegeddon, Necromunda could all work.

 

 I think Kikkomann's movie has already been made and is playing on Spectravision at a hotel near you

Now for... NECROMUNDA - A Sci-Fi Channel Original Movie

we at the sci-fi channel like your idea, but we ask that you thrown in a few of our typical requirements. namely you need a large to giant snake eating people, of course the snake should be somewhat bullet proof.

also throw in a strange exotic hybrid/mutan man, something like a raccoon-man or roach-man and we have a deal.
-------------------------
sci-fi channel original movies really blow

Film opens up with a long tracking shot, sweeping over a bucolic, utopian paradise filled shiny happy beautiful people gleefully rolling around scantily clad in beautiful green pastures, butterfly's fluttering about, the birds chirping, bunnies hopping about, rainbows rising over the a lush countryside and the air filled with soft, soothing music. In otherwords, man and nature in perfect harmony and with no predators to be seen. When suddenly all is vaporized in an atomic flash.

Cut to the silence of space where the camera slowly zooms onto an unimaginably huge black spacecraft, ugly in it's utiltarian form dotted with weapon turrets, defensive systems, communications arrays and all the other trappings that clearly mark it as a tool of intergalactic destruction. The silence continues until the camera zooms (cuts) into the interior of the ship, when the audio suddenly and loudly starts with the deep and erie rumblings and steam-pipe like groanings fill the the vessel when the camera cuts to the bridge, showing grizzled, hunched back form of an evil Inquisitor peers into many screens displaying the last images beamed up from the utopian paradise. In the background, an image of the planet breaking appart can be seen.

The terrible Inquisitor looks up and commands: "Captain, let us move on to the next Slaaneshii corrupted colony in this sector. May the flames of Exterminatus protect us from the foul corrupting effects of Chaos"

THEND.

This, obviously is in the same vein as a "Bambi Meets Godzilla" style film. About as long too.

All i have to say is: Anime.

Make the film animated.

That would be stupid awesome cool.

With the crew that did Cowboy Bebop, or Ghost in the Shell.

Stays within budget limits, no physical barriers to overcome. and the best part? make the film a series so you dont have to try to cram too much story into too little film and end up with a steaming pile.

Armies involved:Imperial guard
                              Sisters of Battle
                              Chaos Space marines(nurgle)
Key charaters:
Sgt. Fred
-Sgt. Fred's Squad
Sister Samantha
-Sisters Samantha's squad
Inquisitor A-hole the 4th
Globulous the plaque
Random cute little girl number 487,823


Plot:
Minions of Nurgle have attacked the planet of nintendu VIII, Space Marines, and Imperial guard and Witch hunters are fighting off the threat. On the other side of the planet untouched by this conflict thus far Sister Samantha and her squad with inquistor A-hole checking for chaos at Hive city hector-decka-alpha. Mean while on patrol of Hive city hector-decka-alpha Sgt. Fred is on patrol and confronts a small chaos force, enter small fight. Runs back reports, inquisitor A-Hole questions sgt. Fred and his men, Fred finds Samantha, enter romance. Sisters, Sgt.Fred and company, and Inquistor A-hole goes back to the spot, gets ambused by nurglings and trator guard, win, Find a HUGE battle force of nurgle prepairing to attach the unawares hive city. Mad rush back to the city, Warn every one, Inquisitor A-hole goes missing. Call out for help to the Space marines/guard/sisters. Nurgle attacks Huge battle here. half way though the fight Inquisitor A-hole walks past the lines against all logic. He raises his hand Green mists forms on the line, Half of the guards men on the line become sick, vomit and have pussy sores and fall over dead, Inquisitor A-Hole turns into Globulous the plaque insert Dioluge between heros and villan. Fred charges, small fight, gets owned, Freds squad comes up trying to save fred, most of them get owned. Sister samantha and her squad unleash holy furry on Globulous the plaque, he runs. The guardsmen that died to the green gas return as nurgle zombies or somthing, both sister squads and guard are wittled down. find refuge, freds wounds arent healing, sisters fix him up as good as they can, Enter last stand fight. Fight is going very badly at this point, fred and samantha get all the remaining forces under thier command and do the epic fight. It gets to CC, Fred and samantha are owning up, guards and siststers arent doing too well, it gets to Globulous and Samantha attacks gets owned, Fred in anger attacks does better than the last time but still doesnt drop him. Samantha makes on last charge gets killed, holy light surrounds fred as he charges and fells his foe, Death love scene. Guards and sisters are losing, then light appears, drop pods rain from the sky (kinda like the DoW intro ending) Leman russes make thier appearance, floods of guards men... end movie

*Huge wall of text crits you for 1000000000 dmg*

Screw that movie, I want a Band of 40k Armies series which I can by a steel box with 13 DVDs and a lot of weird plot twists so every race is involved.

I think the inquisition would be a better setting for a 40k movie. You could really cover the whole gamut of 40k rather easily on a limited budget and still have all the hollywood stereotypes (or of more interest to me, be able to avoid all the stereotypes and create a badass movie).

Open the movie with an old Inquisitor and his retinue about to arrest some cult leader which is thought to be a milk run mission. A kick ass battle ensusues, a deeper plot that threatens the whole universe is uncovered and the old inquistors is killed. It now rests on the neophyte Inquisitor to find those responsible with the help of a hot, leather clad death cult assassin. Sprinkle in marines and maybe other 40k notables and there ya go, a cool movie that is a nice intro to 40k. If it does well you can go overboard on the sequel.

Could the love interest involve members of the Emperor's Children?

They say that love is an emotion that has no place in the hell of war, but for two men, it is all they can cling to. In the Grim Darkness of the Far Future, their love will ignite the stars!

Brother Lance and Brother Bruce fight to save each other in Warhammer 40,000: Fist for Peace

Title crawl

Fade to:

Int. Fortress Monastery - Night

A hulking castle of dressed stone dotted with looming gargoyles and weapon ports. Zoom in on one of hundreds of small stained glass windows. A Space Marine Barracks. Incense wafts in the stillness of the room.

Bruce (O.S)
I bet you've never seen one this big, Brother!

Lance (O.S.)
Come now, Brother, Chaplain Silas tells me of your expertise in the use of this weapon. Grip the shaft and show me how well.

Pan back to show two men, one easily seven feet tall and well muscled, the other slightly shorter, but quite thick. The Shorter man holds a large sword, his fingers can barely reach around the girthy handle.

Bruce
I-I think I can handle it, it's just soooo big!

Lance
Don't just go waving it in the air, stick it in something!

Brother Bruce turns toward the battered training dummy in the corner, but Brother Lance stops him.

Lance
No, Brother, I want you to try to stick it in me.

Bruce
Are you sure? I mean, I don't want to hurt you!

Lance(smiling)
Don't worry, little one. It will only hurt for a bit.

Suddenly, Bruce's weapon bucks uncontrollably for a moment, then goes limp in his hands.

Bruce(sheepishly)
I'm sorry, Brother that has never happened to me before.

Lance(slightly irritated)
It happens to everyone, Brother. We'll just have to wait untill you get it back up. Tease.

You mean like the love exhibited here? (Has sound)

Yes. Jim Carrey's monobrow is classic.

The Eisenhorn trilogy.

1st novel = 1st movie, if successful continue on.

Or same for Gaunt's Ghosts novels.

Holly molly, that was flippin funny, disgusting, but funny!

Posted By Waaagh_Gonads on 09/19/2006 1:49 AM
The Eisenhorn trilogy.

1st novel = 1st movie, if successful continue on.

Or same for Gaunt's Ghosts novels.

I was thinking of the Ravenor series, but Eisenhorn would work better as an intro

Ragnars Trilogy. Think about it, you have a love interest in the first book that is brutally torn away from him. You get to see how space marines are made, how they are recruited, how they are trained, you get to see space marines fight against chaos, their mortal enemy. You have Sven for comic relief, and Stryborn for the "bitter enemies who know must work together and end up saving eachothers lives." Also, the beginning scenes are told from the point of view of someone who knows nothing of the 40k galaxy, the visions the rune priests place in his head of towering titans, dreadnought, tanks, berserkers, and tyranids.... it shows you a lot of how the universe is. Book two, you have the love interest that can never be with the inquisitor, you have the fight against orks on the ground, the deaths of friends, the fight against tyranids in space, the "quest" to recover the artifact, ghost spirits inside a temple, and finally, a great unclean one who almost overpowers them. Book three gives you the sensation of going to war, the fight on the battle barge, the fight in the temple to recover the "holy grail" russ' spear, the fight on the ruined city streets, the fight in the chaos temple against countless enimies of thousands sons who just won't die, followed by the salvation of the men at a terrible price, the loss of the "holy grail".

Could you ask for a better trilogy, could you ask for a better movie pitch? It's got everything there needs, everything to fully describe the span of the 40k universe

i would pay 2 see this

unknow actors for more money on other more important thhing like costumes and settings

Posted By Kid_Kyoto on 09/17/2006 8:22 AM

We all hope it will be Lord of the Rings, we all fear it will be Battle Beyond the Stars and we'd all settle for Starship Troopers.

I wouldn't settle for Starship Troopers. Hell, I place that bloated piece of eye-shrapnel beneath Battle Beyond the Stars in terms of quality.