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Contrary to popular belief GW is a pretty funny company. Yeah ok, he turns all your money into plastic, but come on you knew that was going to happen.

So i'm chilling with GW and hes telling everybody about this new inquisitor game hes going to release. Hes explaining how there will be deamons and imperial guard and space marines in it. The guys at the store are just loving it.

"Cant wait to play it"

"Sounds cool"

What happens next is a thing of beauty. GW shoves these large "Inquisitor" books up their rears and steals their car. As we are driving away GW looks at me and laughs "Wait till they find out the minis are 120mm scale.....and then after they buy them I'll cancel all support".

Well GW laughs so hard we hit a telephone pole and i break my collarbone. The kicker, GW sends these guys the repair bill by raising the prices on all their miniatures, again.

Funny guy that GW


Automatically Appended Next Post:
Contrary to popular belief GW is a pretty good company, sure they jack up thier prices and steal your gas money and replace it with flashy packaging, but its not like you didn't get a fair warning from other players.

So i remember this one time I'm hanging with old GW, watching some guys playing some good old epic scale and warmaster. In comes old GW and he takes warmaster away and turns epic scale into a big steaming pile of turd.

As he walks away the guys are crying about how will they play big games. In walks GW hes got a big box on his shoulder that says 40k Apocalypse on it.

"OHHH shiney new" I hear these guys say "we must have it".

GW turns and winks at me, i know whats coming next. He jams apocalypse down their throat and steals their wallets. As he walks by he says "Just wait till planet strike comes out, I'll get them to pay $50 to replace their Styrofoam buildings with new $100 flashy plastic ones"

I give him a high five...he deserves it, shatters my credit rating and takes my house.

Nice guy that GW


Automatically Appended Next Post:
Contrary to popular belief GW is a pretty funny guy. Sure he repackages your favorite minis from years ago and charges you 4 times the amount. But sometimes you gotta see that coming.

So i'm just hanging with GW one day drinking 40s and having a nice time at the store. These guys walk in and they are complaining about the cost of their metal toys.

GW stand up magnanimously and says "The price of your metal is just too expensive, i will make it my new campaign to switch everything to plastic for you."

Now knowing GW the way I do I expect him to do something violent......but he just walks away. I don't see him for a few days.

A few days later GW walks in with a bunch of boxes of plastic minis. Hes showing them to everyone and everyone is just loving them. He walks them up to the register and gives me a wink. He then grabs the closest guy and body slams these little pieces of plastic into every orifice he can find, tuning them all into big pinatas. The in a feet of multitasking unseen even in the 41 millennium, he simultaneously empties this guys retirement fund and his kids college fund. Everyone else just runs.

Later that day we are walking back to his car and he looks sad. So I ask" GW why the long face."

He replies, "Well i put alot of work into those plastics and some people think they are expensive and what their metal minis back, so you know what i'm going to do?"

See there is this look in his eye that i've seen before, this evil genius look and hes got it big time.

"I'll let them get thier metal minis but they will be 4 times as expensive.......and i'll only make it mail order."

So now we walk to his pimp ride and he looks at me kicks hes $20,000 rims and say, "Metals expensive!" I've never seen him laugh so hard. He then loses control of his car runs over my skateboard and throws a sprue of chaos marines terminators at me to cover the cost. "They are like gold" he says as he drives off. I'm still picking plastic spiky bits out of my forehead to this day.

Funny guy that GW

That was entertaining, thanks for the post.

YAY for Legoburner

It does have a serious point though
its quite true lol

Hehe, funny, but true...

I feel violated.

If I wasn't so busy building stompas I'd cry...

Oh wow..
Hahahaha

You were LUCKY

So as usual I was at the store and people were complaining about GW and I always defend him he really is a funny guy. Now I know, sometimes he takes a three year game investment and turns it into garbage, but you know its all in the name of progress, and he does it with such style.

There was this on time a few years ago during 4th edition, 40k my good buddy GW was hosting a 40k tournament that promised prizes galore, guys came from all over to play and a good time is being had by all. Now Gw is a pretty fierce player, some might call him a rules lawyer, but its just that he knows all the cheats because he uses them all. Oh and don't bring someone elses miniatures to his table unless you want to find out what a field conversion is!

So anyway we are sitting there smoking a stogie, cubans, only the best for ol GW. Its time for him to play in the final against some Khorne player.
"Watch me table this guy" GW says as he walks up to the table.

Well things dont go to according to plan and this Khorne guy wins.

"Khorne is the best God, Blood for the Blood God" the guy screams. Well everyone backs away thinking GW is gonna freak. But he doesnt, he just smiles and shakes the guys hand "good game"

He then invites everybody to pose for pictures and has them place all their armies on the table. He asks them if they had a good time and asks then how long it took for them to build their armies and formulate battle plans. I mean this is a good guy.

Now GW winks at me Screams "Prize Time". From the ceiling fall brand new 5th edition 40k rulebooks, they fall right on all the armies smashing them to bits. He the grabs the Khorne player, gives him an atomic wedgie and screams "I am the fifth chaos god, I'm the best, Money for the Money god."

He then grabs one of the new rule books and opens to the front cover and shows it to me, it says "All your Codex are belong to me, See ya when I see ya Love GW" I mean all that set up for some obscure reference, the guys got style style. We laughed so hard, i didn't even notice that he picked my pocket and stole my bus pass.

The entire walk home i just kept thinking hes so funny, im mean he doesnt even need a bus pass.

I mean He still hasnt finished those codexes yet.

Like I always say that GW has got style.

I'm surprised you haven't had a case of GW's surprise anal sex. he's been doing that at my local game store for years and man does it show.

Please, if you have any fun stories to share about my friend GW just post them here. I mean i cant be the only guy that finds him funny.


Automatically Appended Next Post:
I'm new here and I wan't sure that I could use anal sex as a topic, but i've been hanging with ol GW for almost 20 Years, I've got plenty of those, but they are never really a surprise. You cant hate the lion because he eats the lamb, its just his nature. Thats why i dont really hang with GW much anymore, but man is he a hoot to watch....I mean he is really really funny once you take a step back.

k I got this really good one.

GW has been getting a lot of grief but he's really a good guy if you get to know him.

I was heading down to my LFGS to get my copy of the new IG codex. I had some money and was in need of a case so I said well why not that as well. I stroll in and there is GW grinning ear to ear with a valkyrie in one hand and a brand new codex in the other. I made a little small talk and then headed over to the new releases stand.

I pick up my copy, heavy with anticipation at my new units. I saw the valkyrie sitting on the stand above but I said no thats a model for another day. GW steps in to look at me and sees that my hand is backing away from the Valkyrie. His grin drops a good twenty degrees.
"Why aren't you getting that valkyrie?" He asks.

"Oh I don't need one right now" I say "I have enough money for either one 50 dollar model or one 55 dollar casel." Suddenly GW's smile goes past his ears as he grabs the valkyrie and shoves it in a place it was never meant to go.

"Ha its a fifty eight dollar model now" He says as he cackles and I laugh in pain. Oh man did he get me good but it didn't stop there. "Also let me add that case to your load" he says still laughing as he picks up the case I had my eye on and jams it down my throat simultaneously taking my student ID and my wallet. If I wasn't gagging and laughing I would have tried to stop him but I could barely move as he walked out and hailed a cab paying the taxi driver in metal Cadian special weapon models.

My necron playing buddy at the store who GW punched in the face on the way out helped me get the models and cases out of my body even though he was still laughing and he spotted me the money to get the case and the codex saying I owed him three pariahs. I limped home laughing sense it had been a long time since GW had gotten me that good. It'll be awhile till GW can top that one.

Boy GW can be a really fun guy to be around.

ok not bad, but lets keep then uniform it should always start with something like "everyone says gw is a bad guy, but really hes funny", or it may surprise you but GW is a really "swell/funny/great guy, and it should end with that GW he a real, fun/nice/stlylish..etc guy....i'm not original its a take off, just google "Nice guy that Kharn." and see what i mean.

Fantastic, this could be homogenized into a supreme program backed by the (THE) man (MAN) in no time. Wait... lost my train of thought for a second.

Seriously funny though, seriously FUNNY.

k I got this really good one.

I was heading down to my LFGS to get my copy of the new IG codex. I had some money and was in need of a case so I said well why not that as well. I stroll in and there is GW grinning ear to ear with a valkyrie in one hand and a brand new codex in the other. I made a little small talk and then headed over to the new releases stand.

I pick up my copy, heavy with anticipation at my new units. I saw the valkyrie sitting on the stand above but I said no thats a model for another day. GW steps in to look at me and sees that my hand is backing away from the Valkyrie. His grin drops a good twenty degrees.
"Why aren't you getting that valkyrie?" He asks.

"Oh I don't need one right now" I say "I have enough money for either one 50 dollar model or one 55 dollar casel." Suddenly GW's smile goes past his ears as he grabs the valkyrie and shoves it in a place it was never meant to go.

"Ha its a fifty eight dollar model now" He says as he cackles and I laugh in pain. Oh man did he get me good but it didn't stop there. "Also let me add that case to your load" he says still laughing as he picks up the case I had my eye on and jams it down my throat simultaneously taking my student ID and my wallet. If I wasn't gagging and laughing I would have tried to stop him but I could barely move as he walked out and hailed a cab paying the taxi driver in metal Cadian special weapon models.

My necron playing buddy at the store who GW punched in the face on the way out helped me get the models and cases out of my body even though he was still laughing and he spotted me the money to get the case and the codex saying I owed him three pariahs. I limped home laughing sense it had been a long time since GW had gotten me that good. It'll be awhile till GW can top that one.





Yeah I was there the next day when this guy tried to return his broken valkarie. GW picks it up calm as a cucumber, winks at me and just shoved it into this guys face saying "Smell that, its not worth gak anymore!"and tosses the guy out of the store. He then hands the valkarie to me and has me put it in a box and shrink wrap it, places a sign on it that says special edition chaos Valkyrie and a new price tag of $116 dollars.

"Hey its one of a kind after all" he says.

We laughed so hard about that, i barley felt him remove my kidney and replace it with a unit of halfling snipers.

You cant put a price on humor like that...That GW hes a funny guy i'm tellin ya

K i updated mine. We'll see how many others there are.

erm lol but true gw raises prices like evry 4tnite..+ im student an on a $200p/m budget...dude that sux

Greatest thread ever.
Wow.

Your stories weren't funny.
All the points that you are whining about are complete exaggerations or not even things to be whined about. I really don't know what you were thinking when you made this thread.
Sorry.

i just found this "nice guy that kharne" one!!!1!! HILARIOUS
Contrary to popular belief, Kharn the Betrayer was a pretty fun guy to be around during a blood-letting campaign. Sure, he’d get so wrapped up in the blood-lust that he’d butcher friend and foe alike but it’s not like you didn’t get a fair warning from his name or anything.

I served in the traitor guardsman legions known as the Red Rivers, because we got sent in first to soften up the positions and you could see our progress by the red river of our blood. I kept running into Kharn during one of the bigger scourging campaigns, and he wasn’t dickish about the whole him being a space marine and me being killed by laser-lights or angry glances at all.

The first time I saw him, I was on perimeter patrol at one of our forward outposts, we’d just overrun a Sororitas non-militant chapel, and the Slaanesh boys were shirking their duty to go rape the sisters in a clearing near the chapel. I was watching from afar when Kharn strides up, cool as you like holding the largest stone pillar I’ve ever seen. I turned back and the whole fething chapel was falling down. He’d just ripped the goddamn thing right out and was carrying it on his shoulders!

Then, if that wasn’t insane enough he went and hefted this whole pillar through the air, and crushed the entire congregation of rape in the name of Slaanesh, defilers and victims all in one go.

I was just standing there dumbfounded when Kharn looked at me, as though noticing me for the first time and yet not surprised by my presence at all. He held his palm out, and I obliged him a high five. He’d earned it.

Damn well shattered every bone in my arm doing it though.

Nice guy that Kharn.

The second time I crossed paths with Kharn was in a later stage in the campaign. We were besieging one of the major hives of the planet, and I tell you what that place was locked up tighter than a Dark Eldar’s pants. My commander, Oxlor the Vilest was stuck in an argument with some idiot leader of some group of Death Guard. You could see the smell it was so bad. I could tell Oxlor wasn’t happy, since everyone knows the Death Guard’s answer to everything is to just walk at it and watch your bits fly off. Not so good for us soft and squishy guys.

Out of nowhere, this big hand grabs our commander by the shoulder and just hefts him aside, three whole trenches back where he rebounds off a basilisk. The crew was so shocked they fired off a round on a horrible trajectory, and the shell streaked high into the sky.

Kharn the Betrayer just himself dusts himself down, and then picks back up what he had been holding. Now, I’m no techpriest and I never will be, but I know a nuclear warhead when I see it. I don’t know where he got it.

No one says anything, so The Betrayer just punches the Plague marine in the face, and stuffs the warhead into the leaking mess of his stomach while he was still reeling.

No run up, no preparation. He just fething throws the other marine into the air at the hive. For a moment it actually looks like he’s thrown the warp-damned fool OVER the hive, but as he flies over the top the basilisk shell comes down and spears him through the whole hive! There’s a low boom noise, the ground shakes, and then the whole hive IMPLODES!

Everything clears, and Kharn looks at me, and I feel about one foot tall. I don’t know if he recognised me, but he leans down and whispers. Kharn WHISPERS to me.

“I was trying to hit the Emperor’s Children on the other side” he confides in me, and then nudges me as though it’s supposed to be our little secret.

I was in traction for a MONTH

As I always say, Kharn the Betrayer was pretty fun to be around, and contrary to popular belief he actually had a sense of humour as well. Probably the best example was in the middle of the campaign during a sweeping of an Imperial Guard command post, with Khorne Berserkers and our Red Rivers company marching directly into the defensive fire. The closer we got, the more apparent it became that the only thing holding the Guardsmen together was a grizzled looking Commissar in full uniform, one gun turned on us and another firing on any of his men who looked like running.

Kharn was at the tip of the assault, and so he got to the Commissar first, plucking the screaming officer up by the neck and holding him over his head.

Then, out of nowhere one of the other berserkers grabs the Commissar’s legs and roars “MAKE A WISH!”. Well, as you can imagine everyone on both sides forgets about the fight, and watches Kharn and this other Khorne worshipping marine just start pulling on this Commissar at both ends, the old man screaming out oaths and curses like you wouldn’t believe! You could almost hear the sound of flesh tearing and bone snapping over the cheering.

Then, Kharn just let go. Totally not expecting it and pulling with all his might, the Khorne Berserker just falls backwards and starts tumbling with the near dead Commissar into a damaged hellhound, his armour grating off it and sparking!

Well, after the explosion we all turned back to Kharn, who had managed to keep a hold of the Commissar’s fancy hat. Ol’ Kharn put it on, and damned if it wasn’t the funniest thing any of us had ever seen… till he turned to us and bellowed “I’M THE NEW COMMISSAR” at us.

They tell me five thousand traitor guardsmen died that day before someone could take that hat off him.

What a kidder!

I’ve been fairly insistent to you readers out there that Kharn the Betrayer was a pretty fun guy to be around. I know he gets a bad rap for the whole ’slaughtering his own allies’ thing, but unless you’ve been there after a battle with him you don’t really appreciate how much he strives to please his chaos god.

It was after one of our many conflicts that the Red Rivers Infantry were preparing to march on to our next destination. Nevermind that it was half the planet away, we as traitor guard didn’t get transport vehicles. So as you can imagine when someone declared they’d found an Imperial Drop-ship in working condition everyone clamoured and fought to get a free ride to our next engagement.

Knowing full well I was too far away to get on the ship, I stayed with some of my fellow traitors at the battlefield. I’d seen Kharn after the battle, and as soon as we’d gotten our marching orders he was picking up corpses and putting them down elsewhere. This took an hour before he was satisfied, and seeing an audience he happily led us up onto a hill as the drop-ship flew a pass over the top of us, probably to gloat. Proudly, Kharn gestured to the battlefield, and then waved up at the drop-ship with his other hand. I peered down the hill, and realized he’d arranged the bodies to make out words, so many killed to form:

I planted a melta bomb on the hull of your ship!
Blood For The Blood God!

It was at that point the drop-ship erupted in a violent plume, and crashed down on top of the haiku. Roaring in a cheer, we lifted Kharn up together and made to carry him to the next battlefield as a sign of our appreciation and devotion to his art.

We got about five paces before our spines liquefied but Kharn didn’t hold it against us for trying.

Seriously, what a guy!

That kharns stuff cool. I always wondered where tht commisar reference came from.

ph34r wrote:Your stories weren't funny.
All the points that you are whining about are complete exaggerations or not even things to be whined about. I really don't know what you were thinking when you made this thread.
Sorry.

Could somebody translate the above quote. I'm not fluent in "Fanboy"...

Just because someone disagrees does not make them a fanboy

This thread is closed before I get Frazzled and drop the hammer on a whole bunch of people.