So, I have been working on this for about a month or a few weeks, not going to put anything up yet but I would like to know if anyone is interested, the storyline is being worked on and the setting would be Ankh-Morpork. I am not sure if this should be pre or post Thud.
any thoughts? We will be working with the Discworld GURPS
RPG system.
this is the basis we will go on (Roughly). download it and give it a once-over, if you are interested.
http://www.sjgames.com/gurps/books/discworldalso/img/discworld_also.pdf IMPORTANT: WITH THESE IMAGES, OPEN THEM IN A NEW TAB/WINDOW AND MAXIMISE THEM FOR A CLOSER LOOK
Locations:
Ankh-Morpork
The river is semi-solid, the water has a taste, the air is smoggy (the birds cough rather than sing) and following a snowfall the streets are left a muddy slurry. Baking hot in summer, cold and snowy in winter, Ankh-Morpork has a "despotic ruler" (some say) who has succeeded in so thoroughly organizing crime that it is self-regulating. While ethnic riots and feuds are common, Ankh-Morpork is still the place where everybody wants to live. Ankh-Morpork now has the largest Dwarf population outside of Uberwald and is in fact the Discworld's largest dwarf city. Likewise, Ankh-Morpork is home to probably the only Troll crime syndicate on the Discworld, the Breccia. Not to be undone, the undead can meet in their own taverns or support groups and have a Bloody Mary or a mug of hot cocoa, depending on individual tastes. Evangelical preachers find a huge potential flock to convert, often immigrants seeking their fortunes here or refugees who have come seeking peaceful lives free from persecution.
Many call the city ‘The Big Wahooni’ (The Disc’s most rare and foul-smelling fruit)
THE CITY ITSELF
The city is divided clearly by the river. Morpork, the widdershins half of the city is home to the most of the guilds, the Unseen University and the Patrician’s Palace It also includes most of both the city's industry and grime, including the docks, the markets and The Shades- the poorest and most densly populated part of the city. The city of Ankh, the turnwise half, is mostly residential and is dominated by several large mansions and parks. The geographical centre of the city is the Opera House in Psudoplis Yarp, a circular square on the Isle of Gods and a meeting point for several important roads.
Geographically, the city is built mostly on river silt and silt deposition has increased the height of the city over many centuries. As a result, many older buildings and even streets survive perfectly intact beneath the present day city. Apart from The Tump a large hill on the perimeter, the city is mostly flat.
PLACES IN THE CITY
THE ANKH
The Ankh is a river serpenting through the Sto Plains, reaching the Circle Sea by the town of Ankh-Morpork. By then, it can only be called a river because it moves faster than the banks. You can't drown in the Ankh, but it is really easy to suffocate.
Paradoxically, Morporkians are very proud of it. They say "A water that has been filtered by so many kidneys can only be very pure indeed" or "A water so full of life can't be bad for health". Fishes are known to dwell in the Ankh, but they can't be easily observed, because they tend to explode in clear water.
It has been said that the Ankh is the only river in the multiverse where cops can draw a chalk outline when a corpse is found.
There is a legend in Ankh-Morpork of an ancient drum in the palace that will bang itself if ever an enemy fleet is seen sailing up the Ankh, although the legend has died out in recent centuries, partly because it's the Age of Reason and also because no enemy fleet could sail up the Ankh without a gang of men with shovels going in front.
THE TOWER OF ART
The oldest building in Ankh-Morpork and part of Unseen University it stands an impressive 800 feet tall. With 8,888 steps leading in a spiral up to the top, it follows that each step is roughly an inch high.
It is completely without windows and, due to several repairs over the centuries, it has a gnarled appearance, much like an ancient yew tree. Atop it sit several small turrets and crenellations and within its stones entire ecosystems have formed, including species (and no doubt phyla) unique to the Tower of Art. A lack of predators willing to climb the vast heights of the tower has meant that several species of insects, birds and small mammals have been able to evolve fairly unaffected by the outside world, except by the magical waste from UU, causing some very odd results in the evolutionary pathways of these animals that would make Darwin just simply give up.
It is now disused and most of the internal floors have crumbled away, leaving just the spiral staircase. Or at least part of it; Victor Tugelbend needed to use Holy Wood magic to create replacement stairs for just long enough. Occasionally it is the scene of incredible fights between Dungeon Dimensions creatures and heroes, more unwilling ones than traditional Barbarian heroes.
THE MENDED DRUM
Filigree Street at Short Street, Ankh-Morpork.
Well-known disreputable tavern. Heroes of the Discworld frequent it when they are in Ankh-Morpork, and bar brawl casualties are quite high. However, if a tourist wants to meet heroes and see them in bar fights, The Drum is the place to go. Originally The Broken Drum, this tavern has been renamed The Mended Drum after a change of ownership and a reconstruction due to a fire chronicled in The Colour of Magic.
The interior does not differ much from the interiors of an uncountable number of other taverns which are less well known. But one does not enter the Drum for posh decoration. To enter the Drum one first has to pass one of the troll bouncers. And believe me, they really know how to bounce. In fact, they used to be called Splatters. After entering the pub one has to walk down some stairs into a dimly lit room filled with cheap furniture. The furniture is cheap, because it usually needs to be replaced after the nightly bar fight. The floor is covered with sawdust to soak up all kinds of liquids sprayed on the floor. And the guests, well, let's not talk about the guests. But in spite of all this, on some nights this is actually the place to be. And if the barkeeper is in a really good mood, he might even put out some bowls with peanuts. But only if he's sure the Librarian isn't going to come in.
THE OPERA HOUSE
The Opera House is situated in Pseudopolis Yard, opposite the headquarters of the modern Ankh-Morpork City Watch, on a bit of uptown Ankh-Morpork called the Isle of Gods, which is surrounded on three sides by a bend in the river Ankh. The Opera House is usually seen as the geographic centre of the city. As the name indicates, the Opera House is a place of culture, particularly operas, an art form which you can follow either the singing or the plot, but not both. The singing, for that matter, is traditionally all in foreign languages that no Ankh-Morporkian patrons truly understand.
THE PALACE
▪ The dungeons most notably the scorpion pits. Once held Sam Vimes briefly and even Lord Vetinari himself. Contains several devices of punishment, many of which are considered cruel, and some that are quite unusual as well. The last King of Ankh-Morpork, Lorenzo the Kind, as well as the several succeeding Patricians have presumably made extensive use of these tools.
▪ The Gardens, designed by "Bloody Stupid" Johnson many years ago. As indicative of his work in general, it boasts several interesting features. Examples include the exploding sundial, beehives that can house homing pigeons, and also the Hoho, which is like a haha but deeper.
▪ The Palace Menagerie, a relict of previous Patricians, which houses an unspecified range of animal life. We know that the University Librarian sometimes hops over the wall at night, but what he does here is a mystery, as the Menagerie has been specifically stated not to house any orangs of either sex.
▪ The Oblong Office, where the current Patrician, Lord Havelock Vetinari, works. It is rumored that his bedroom is next door, but nobody can imagine Lord Vetinari ever wasting time with such mundane matters as sleeping. The waiting room outside his office has a very interesting clock that ticks irregularly (tick,tock,tick,tick,tock), presumably this is intentional on Ventinari's part to distract and infuriate people before his meeting.
▪ The Rats Chamber, has a fresco of dancing rats on the ceiling, rat wall paper, rat carpet, and so on, making people feel they need a wash after a few minutes/ This is used for meetings with the city leaders, the Guild Presidents and the heads of the Ankh-Morpork noble families. At the conclusion of Feet of Clay, it is believed that Vimes buried an axe in the centre of the table which almost split the table in half. The axe remains there as a conversation piece.
The Throne Room, where the Golden Throne of Ankh still sits on top of a flight of stairs, in a very large room, waiting for the King to return. Lord Vetinari sometimes works at a wooden desk at the foot of the stairs. Very few people know that the 'Golden Throne' is actually mostly rotting wood beneath a thin layer of gold foil. If any future king were to ever sit on it, it would be quite an embarrassing scene.
UNSEE UNIVERSETY
‘All we Really do is shout damnfool things about keyes in the middle of the night’-Vernon Ridcully
The Unseen University has gates of octiron, and single-minded Bledlows to perform the Ceremony of the Keys every night. The University has an octagonal lawn, roses, other plants, and compost heaps tended by Mr. Modo, the university's dwarf gardener. The buildings are of ancient stone, and contain many dark, winding corridors and small rooms, far more than the size of the grounds should allow. The unusual architecture of the building suggests that the top storeys and roof were built before the ground floors. Inside the University is the Great Hall, where the Wizard's four main meals of the day are eaten. Also noteworthy are the hundreds of paintings and busts of former Archchancellors that line the vestibule just outside the Great Hall. Other notable features are the Uncommon Room, the staffroom of the Faculty (see below); the gymnasium (which is for students to practise spelling, not exercise, and - as such - is lined and protected very powerfully); the Emperor candle and the Tesseractical floor.
The grounds are enclosed in brick walls, but there are some places where bricks can be removed to offer convenient footholds for young and reasonably athletic students to climb over. The more famous buildings are: The Tower of Art, the Library, and the High Energy Magic Building.
Old Tom is the University's bell and it is made of octiron. Every hour this bell chimes heavy silences which render all sounds inaudible. Sometimes Old Tom also rings during incidents involving a massive amount of magic, making verbal communication very difficult during the emergency.
The Unreal Estate is an area outside of the University walls. The area used to be the University's dumpster, and the magic contamination has until recently made the ground unusable for any housing or farming. However, part of this area has since been developed into the Thaumatological Park. This serves two purposes: it earns money for the University by selling commercially useful by-products of research magic such as the Dis-organiser, and it keeps young wizards trained by Ponder Stibbons usefully occupied after graduation, otherwise there's no telling what minds like those would find to do. As the area is still inherently dangerous, a really cynical senior wizard might reflect that it could even thin their numbers out a bit, which is no bad thing...
The University is unbelievably rich. This comes from the rents of Sator Square, the Plaza of Broken Moons, magical services throughout the city and the classrooms that are rented out for various uses. Much more recently there has been the money made from the Thaumatological Park. Additionally, the University doesn't spend much, on food especially. People donate food regularly to the place, on the basis that if there were a lot of daft old men living on enough magic to rip a hole in two realities near you, you'd want them to be too full to move as well.
THE SHADES
The Merchant's Guild describes the Shades as 'a folklorique network of old alleys and picturesque streets, wherre exitement and romans lurke arounde everry corner and much may be heard the traditional street cries of old time also the laughing visages of the denuizens as they goe about their business private.'
In other words, a commentary drily adds, you have been warned.
Others just call it "colourful".
This is the oldest part of the city of Ankh-Morpork and can be found about ten minutes slow stroll from Unseen University. It is considered dangerous even by the standards of the rest of the city, and absolutely not a place to be after dark. However, it must be realised that the entire area known as the Shades extends from Treacle Mine Road to the rimward wall and includes popular and vital parts of the city's commerce such as:
▪ Mrs. Palm's famous house of good repute, the Whore Pits and the whole "club" district in the angle of Treacle Mine Road and Elm Street.
▪ The Mortuary, located where the traffic is.
▪ Mrs. Cake's rooming house for the differently respectable.
▪ Igneous's Wholesale Pottery and Chalky's Building Supplies.
▪ The docks: most of the city's sea trade.
▪ Harga's House of Ribs: popular diner in the docks area.
▪ Grabpot Thundergust's cosmetic mill and the Streets of Perfume Blenders.
▪ The late Bjorn Hammerhock's workshop.
▪ The Cattle Market and the whole meat-processing industry.
These locations are obviously not avoided by citizens or visitors. The central portion, roughly from the the Troll's Head tavern to near Cockbill Street and centered on Shamlegger Street seems to be the area where even the Watch once feared to go. In recent years, the augmented Watch, especially Troll officers, have put the fear of god (or Sam Vimes) in the locals. It may now be possible to cross the area unscathed, if one is quick and careful.
Despite all this, it has produced a number of Ankh-Morpork's famous citizens. Perhaps the most notable is Samuel Vimes, now Duke of Ankh and Commander of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch. Others include Lupine Wonse and the Duke's formidable butler Willikins, once a Rude Boy from the hard core, and Nobby Nobbs, who perhaps best sums up the typical qualities of someone raised within the Shades.
THE GUILDS
They will be elaborated on later
NOTABLE PEOPLE
Havelock Vetinari is the current Patrician of Ankh-Morpork. He has been the supreme ruler for some years and is the successor of Mad Lord Snapcase. The Assassins' Guild have an
AM$ 1,000,000 fee for his inhumation, though rumour says that they are not accepting contracts on him at present. As a former Assassin himself, he is probably just too difficult to kill. However, his greatest defence against would-be plotters is that he carefully sees to it that a reality with him as Patrician is slightly better than one without him.
It was his discovery that people only really want stability and that tomorrow should pretty much resemble today, and this has been his greatest contribution to Ankh-Morpork. Impressively, he manages to keep this up even while he drags Ankh-Morpork, sometimes kicking and screaming, into the future. It is said that Vetinari can accomplish more with irony than most others can with steel. He can also accomplish more with one raised eyebrow than most people can with two of them and a lifetime of practice.
He seems to have no vices whatsoever, since some guild or other would otherwise undoubtedly have made use of them by now. Admittedly, Vetinari did ban street theatre and tends to hang mime artists upside down in a scorpion pit opposite a sign reading "Learn The Words," but this is generally taken by the population as simply an amusing character trait. Anyway, in Ankh-Morpork people think that strolling players are no better than criminals, and mimes are just plain freaky.
ROSEMARY PALM ‘ROSIE’
Once upon a time, in a city called Ankh-Morpork, there lived a little girl named Rosemary Palm. She was much like other little girls in her neighborhood; maybe a little prettier, a bit cleverer, more inclined to do it her own way, in fact not so much like as not like; different, really.
Opportunities for lower-class girls to improve their stations were scarce. Marriage was popular, but no guarantee of improvement. The scion of some great Ankh family might come and carry one off to his mansion, but while the general peripheries of marriage might be observed, the end product might not. Setting up some kind of shop required an investment. No, the obvious career for an ambitious young woman of limited means was as a Lady of Negotiable Affection : minimal investment and the ability to charge whatever the traffic would bear. The right traffic would bear some really impressive charges. "Rosie" had what it took to succeed in Ankh-Morpork and elsewhere : looks, brains and ambition.
Amid the general unrest at the end of Lord Winder's tyranny, Rosie and other Seamstresses were at the center of the street-level rebellion leading to the Glorious Revolution of Treacle Mine Road. Winder was as bad for her business as anyone's. She vetoed the fourth resolution of the Republic's motto, resulting in the familiar "Truth, Justice, Freedom and Reasonably-Priced Love". During this episode she came to the attention of Havelock Vetinari and Lady Roberta Meserole, some of their supporters among the political class. Their subsequent relationship is lost in the historical vacuum of the Snapcase tyranny, but when Vetinari finally became the Patrician, he granted the Seamstresses' request for a Guild of their own, and Rosemary Palm has tended to be among the Patrician's council ever since. She continues as President of the Seamstresses' Guild.
One doesn't call her "Rosie" anymore, unless by long acquaintance. Mrs. Rosemary Palm is one of Ankh-Morpork's success stories, known far and wide, wealthy, and the confidante of the powerful. (The honorific comes with with her position in the business; there is no Mr. Palm.) Her house in the "entertainment district" is one of the city's great tourist attractions.
THE WATCH
FRED COLON
Fred Colon is a long-time member of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch, for most of that time a sergeant. Currently the most senior member of the Watch, he is "one of nature's sergeants": good at organizing small tasks, rotas of various descriptions, whip-rounds and other informal funds; he is extremely bad at paperwork, keeping the wage chitty safe, and other officer's tasks. He is generally upfront about these deficiencies and subsequently has a low opinion about the practical capabilities of most formal Officers, with the major exclusion of Carrot and Sam Vimes. He tends to be partnered with Nobby Nobbs.
‘NOBBY’ NOBBS
Cecil Wormsborough
St John Nobbs (
St John pronounced as Sin-jun ), usually called Nobby, has a long history in the Pratchett world, most of which is unsavoury. This probably pertains to his person rather than any particular act: Nobby, perhaps, should have been disqualified from the human race (for shoving,
AS WELL
AS BEING DEBATABLY HUMAN). Nobby likes to take small things that nobody is watching, but that perhaps is not very rare in Ankh-Morpork. He had been a street urchin, and it appears that he has never grown out of the habits he acquired back then. He has been playfully described as "only bad in the same way that a weasel is evil," lacking the maliciousness or stupid bravery of genuinely unsavory characters.
CARROT IRONFOUNDERSSON
Technically Carrot Ironfoundersson is a dwarf, for he was adopted and raised by dwarfs, even though he is biologically human. This made growing up difficult, especially since dwarfs are smaller than the typical human (Nobby Nobbs, as always is an exception to this rule) and Carrot is taller than the typical human. Carrot's adopted father sent him to Ankh-Morpork to join the Ankh-Morpork City Watch in Guards! Guards!. He is an exemplary policeman, but can be seen by others as too polite. In anyone else it would be suspicious; with Carrot however it is sincere. He has an old but extremely strong and sharp sword, and a funny birthmark.
Carrot is the most consciously and conscientiously law-abiding citizen in Ankh-Morpork. When he arrived, he brought with him the book The Laws and Ordinances of the Cities Ankh and Morpork, a very old book that once belonged to a retired Ankh-Morporkian Watchman. Having been brought up in dwarf culture, Carrot takes everything literally (throughout his appearances, he develops a fuller grasp of figurative language) and believes in obeying rules. The old Watchman's descendant told Carrot about upholding justice, so Carrot enthusiastically enforced the laws as detailed in the old book, the contents of which were unknown to everyone, even old-time Watchmen. This got him into some trouble with the city government, starting with his arresting the head of the Thieves' Guild. Yet, somehow, he managed to bring morale to the Watch just as Lady Sybil Ramkin did. Carrot is now Captain of the combined Ankh-Morpork City Watch; formally he would be called "Captain Ironfoundersson", but most people call him "Captain Carrot".
SGT DETRITUS
Detritus was the first troll member of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch, hired under Lord Vetinari's "special hiring procedures," at the same time as Cuddy (a dwarf) and Angua (a werewolf). Before getting this job, Detritus had been a splatter, (like a bouncer, but with more force,) and hired muscle for various establishments in Ankh-Morpork. However, he came unstuck one night when instructed to splat six-foot Dwarf Carrot Ironfoundersson, who, no doubt, had been brought up by Dwarfs to have an appropriately robust and non-nonsense attitude to any troll who tried it on. The fact Carrot laid him cold must have helped simplify things later in their Watch relationship, as regarding rank and seniority.
Detritus also had a brief career in Holy Wood, where he met and fell in love with the troll Ruby In fact, the initial reason why Detritus joined the Watch was to get a respectable job in order to appease Ruby. In Thud! we are told that their marriage is happy, but childless, which may be partial motivation for Detritus taking the drug-addled young troll Brick under his wing.
DORFL
A golem, he is the riot shield and battering ram of the watch, he is an atheist, seeing it as a religiese position.
SAME VIMES
Sam Vimes was born in Cockbill Street, the Shades, Ankh-Morpork, and went to the local school, where he was taught by Dame Slightly for 9 months and became blackboard monitor. After that, he spent some time in street gangs, including the Cockbill Street Roaring Lads. He then signed in the Night Watch, shortly before the birth of the Glorious People's Republic of Treacle Mine Road during the Glorious Revolution. What happens between then and Guards! Guards! is unsure.He made his way to the top, and was Captain when the Night Watch consisted of four people: him, Sergeant Colon, Corporal Nobbs, and newly appointed Lance-Constable Carrot. It is at this time that the Watch began to grow again, and Vimes was made Commander, with which came the unwanted rank of Knight, then, even more unwanted, the Duke of Ankh, by Lord Vetinari, the Patrician of Ankh-Morpork. He also married Lady Sybil Ramkin, the richest woman in Ankh-Morpork, and has a son, called Sam. He is the descendant of 'Old Stoneface' Vimes who committed regicide to end the monarchy in Ankh-Morpork; this relation causes frequent comparisons of Sam to his ancestor.
CRYSOPRASE THE TROLL
CHRYSOPRASE
Name Chrysoprase
Age unknown
Race Troll
Occupation 'Legitimate Businessman'
Looks Less craggy than most trolls, quite well polished.
Residence Ankh-Morpork
Books
Thud!,Wyrd Sisters,Feet of Clay,The Light Fantastic
Chrysoprase (also known as Krysoprase in The Light Fantastic, and Chrystophrase in Wyrd Sisters) is the
de facto leader of the trolls disorganisation, the Breccia. Generally accompanied by several of his thugs (not henchmen, they're not smart enough to hench), Chrysoprase is a feared and well-known presence in Ankh-Morpork.
Recently, Chrysoprase has been moving out of the troll-drug trafficking trade (in Feet of Clay, and into "property and financial services" (in Thud!), or so he claims. To his merit, he dislikes trolls fighting among themselves (he'd rather have them all working together and fighting dwarfs), and has great belief in showing respect (particuarly to him). Disrespectful thugs rapidly become rockeries and jewellery. He also respects Commander Vimes for being unbribable and honest.
Chrysoprase also owns The Cavern Club, a nightclub frequented by the cooler types of humans and the nastier types of trolls. He also wears suits, a rare idiosyncrasy for a troll. They fit badly, but that's what happens when trolls wear suits.
It has been rumored that the diamond jewelry that Chrysoprase wears is made from the teeth of other troll gangsters "who have come second in their business dealings with him"
LORD DOWNEY
Lord Downey is the current Master of the Assassins' Guild, having succeeded Dr. Cruces. He was educated at the Guild School at roughly the same time as Lord Vetinari, (but is several years older) and, in his role as School Bully, gave him the insulting nickname of "Dog-botherer". Vetinari got his vengence, in a quite interesting manner in "Night-Watch."
It is assumed that he's since changed, but there is no concrete evidence of it. With the passing of the years and the shifting of their relationship, it is entirely possible that "Dog-botherer", together with one or two other indignities inflicted at school, hang unspoken in the air between them whenever they meet formally. Although Vetinari would be professional enough not to let this cloud any aspect of what is otherwise a perfectly pleasant and amicable working relationship, Downey may be uncomfortably aware, on these occasions, of their shared past and the jolly larks they participated in as schoolboys. Downey is certainly more than acceptably deferential to Vetinari during their adult meetings.
OTHER PLACES
UBERWALD
Formerly the Dark Empire, Evil Empire or Unholy Empire, with the double-headed bat as symbol, and once ruled by a Sourcerer known as the Evil Emperor, who was, well, evil. Under the Evil Empire, all sorts of nasty things were created and used in war. As John Hicks puts it in Unseen Academicals, "you got what it said on the Iron Maiden".
Überwald describes a huge mountainous region of wintry climate. The ruling nobility of the land is composed of feudal werewolf and vampire families. Lately, the dwarfs have also come into power. There are many trolls in the distant mountains, warring against the dwarfs, but in cities such as Bonk, trolls are considered semi-sentient slaves. Humans are still mostly in the roles of "townspeople" or "exploited citizens". Most Igors come from Überwald, where they traditionally serve those on the far side of sanity, using the excellent local lightning for their experiments. Überwaldean is said to be a good cursing language.
The principal town in Überwald is Bonk.
Major appearances of the region are in Überwald is also often colloquially mentioned as the dark and mysterious place ruled and indeed overrun by the undead and bandits, standing in the middle of the continent, cutting off the traffic between the Sto Plains and Genua.
The region is briefly visited by the Lancre witches in Witches Abroad, where a local vampire is defeated by a combination of Nanny Ogg's garlic sausage, Magrat's insistence on sleeping with the window open, and Greebo's irritation that a mouse with wings is trying to change shape on him. In truth, Überwald also has many small towns with just your ordinary rural town people, not very mean, not very nice. Überwald is also home to many of the older races such as Centaurs.
It is noted by Lord Vetinari that mapmakers often fill in blank areas of Überwaldean maps with the phrase 'MMBU,' or 'Miles and Miles of Bloody Überwald'
KLATCH
Klatch is a country on the Circle Sea. It is also the name of the continent upon which the country is located. The capital city is Al Khali, and it is ruled by a Seriph. The last named Seriph was Creosote. There is a reference in Maskerade to it having been ruled by a Queen Ezeriel some two hundred years ago.
The country is a large and powerful nation. Despite the claims of certain Morporkians, it is a scientifically advanced nation, responsible for mathematics and astronomy among other inventions.
The country is primarily desert, and popular modes of transport include camels and magic carpets. It has its own Watch of sorts, led by 71-hour Ahmed. Klatch is an economic rival to Ankh-Morpork. Despite this, many Klatchians have emigrated to Ankh-Morpork, bringing aspects of their culture with them. Two that have really caught on include the god Offler and curry.
The Seriphate is an empire with many outlying regions to pacify, but does not encompass the entire Klatchian continent, there being other notable countries including Omnia, Tsort, Ephebe, and Djelibeybi. Klatch the country is militaristically and economically powerful like Tsort and Ephebe, but although all three countries are on the Klatchian coast of the Circle Sea, only Klatch is considered the traditional enemy of the most powerful state across the Circle Sea, Ankh-Morpork.
Principal cities: Al Khali, Gebra
AGETEAN EMPIRE
The political entity that rules over the entire Counterweight continent, and also once used to have heavy influence on foreign countries as powerful as Ankh-Morpork, until the Agatean government lost interest in all places foreign and, in order to keep citizens happily toiling away within the walls of the Empire, told the citizens that all foreign lands were barren wastelands with howling ghosts.
Gold is common on the Counterweight continent, and deemed less valuable by Agateans than as regarded by foreigners. Once upon the time, the Agateans were more technologically advanced: iconograph, spectacles, dentures, and so on. These devices were soon copied by foreigners when Twoflower the tourist went out into the world, and speedily evolved in the hands of the wizards, artificers, alchemists etc. in Ankh-Morpork. Some Agateans think that foreigners are flesh-and-blood humans who might have some money to buy some Agatean products, but tend to think that foreigners have nothing and therefore everything is worth selling: silk (which Ankh-Morpork in fact buys from Klatch) or tea which is bought from Howondaland etc.
The Agateans do not understand how much power can be derived from their gold. The Agatean government had once wielded huge naval fleets, but had ceased contact with the other countries and therefore its influence was diminished. The Agatean Empire, then, is an agricultural country with no exports and no influences on world politics except when a foreign ruler remembers the fear that they once regarded the Empire with. The Empire has turned its forces inward, having a formal and showy civil war between feudal lords every time that an Emperor needs to be selected, and oppressing revolutionaries who talk about the sort of freedom found in the outside world. The Agatean Empire has become one of the sources of the refugee sort of immigrants who arrive in Ankh-Morpor
RACES:
ELVES
Discworld's version of the Elves are nothing like the elves you might imagine if you are steeped in the Tolkienian traditions. They are wonderful, awesome, marvellous and terrific... but that glamorous image and reputation comes at a very high price indeed.
They live in a parasite dimension, a world that isn't quite complete by itself and has to ride along on a better world, e.g. the Discworld. There are barriers at locations where the elves' world is close to the Discworld. Some of these barriers weaken about once every fifty years. It is just as well that it is difficult for anyone, elves or Discworld people, to cross the barriers between Discworld and the elves' lands, because... well, a good adjective for the elves, you see, starts with an n, tip of my tongue, not nice, or starts with an m, not mild-mannered, oh, and not musical. G is also good, but not good.
Elves are nasty and mean. They have no artistic talents, but they want to have some fun, so they kidnap human musicians and bards. Elves have no sense of pain, heavily contributing to their having no empathy, sympathy, or conscience. Elves are not evil in the same sense that Evil Dark Lords are evil. Evil Dark Lords play by the rules and break their promises because they are evil dark lords, it is a sort of professional behavior. Elves lie and make empty promises (often promises of safety, on the lines of "I won't hurt you if you come out, the way I have just hurt your friend here") because they want to get at people and hurt them some more. To elves, music is fun, but torture is even more fun. There is not a single elf reported as being nice or good. They are terrific - they beget terror. They are skilled at leaving their prey (everything) alive for weeks whilst they enjoy slowly torturing it.
PICTSI/GNOME
Gnomes on the Discworld are six inches tall, BLUE, resembling humans in general body shape, and usually live alone. A gnome has more physical strength than his size would suggest, and sometimes gives painful, bone-cracking hits to people who have underestimated him. Swires, the first gnome to appear in the Discworld chronicles, made his appearance in a forest area but in recent years, some gnomes have come to the city of Ankh-Morpork and obtained jobs as tradesmen
Gnomes appear to be identical to the Ramtops Pictsies but they are found as individual examples; there is no mention of a Gnome society. They may be exiles from the hive-like societies that created them. Wee Mad Arthur is very like the Feegles; Buggy Swires less so, although he uses the same bird-taming method as Hamish the Aviator.
BOGEYMEN
Bogeymen are sentient creatures who are often considered undead though they technically are not, since they haven't actually died. Bogeymen take shapes to scare people, especially kids. Some bogeymen are more comfortable under a bed, behind a door, or in a cellar. One of the few ways to subdue a bogeyman is to put a blanket on his head. The theory goes that everyone knows Bogeymen disappear if you put the blankets over your head, and so by putting a blanket over a Bogeyman's head his belief in his own existance is impaired. Apparently, light blue blankets are most effective but no-one seems to know why.
GOBLIN
Nasty, brutish and short. Sometimes green, long fingers and a violent temprament, they tend to hang out with dwarfs, the two races often from alliances.
GNOLL
A gnoll can be very crudely described as a fermenting heap of rubbish. They obsessively collect rubbish, and possibly eat most of it; what's left is carried around, and gives gnolls their smell. Some gnolls are street-cleaners in the employ of the rubbish-collecting recycling mogul, Mr. Harry King. Few people know the real form of gnolls beneath the rubbish, but gnolls are considered humanoid because they are intelligent, can speak, and can be hired. Since a gnoll is effectively "masked" by his rubbish heap, William
de Worde suspected that some gnolls keeping an eye on him in the streets are in fact employed by the Watch, not his creditor Mr. Harry King This may be the truth: in Jingo, Carrot Ironfoundersson is seen to have a gnoll called Stoolie on his list of regular informants, who will do odd jobs for the Watch in return for advice on, for instance, where to find the best decomposing ex-seabirds.
ORC
Incredibly stong, short, fanged, clawed.
In a twist on Tolkien's vision of their begetting, whilst the common view is that they are warped goblins, Lord Vetinari comments that they must have been bred from men, because only mankind has the wanton capacity for such evil evinced by the orcs in the Dark Wars that enslaved large areas.
They were presumed wiped out, although there have been rumblings of some new colonies/nests and the attempted genocide of them. Vetinari asks Nutt if he would go with his erstwhile rescuer, Pastor Oats into the heart of the Evil Empire and bring them into the light. It seems an enormous task, but Nutt accepts. Whether we ever hear that tale is in the lap of the Gods.
WEREWOLVES
Proper werewolves can look fully like a human or fully like a wolf at will, only that light from the full moon powerfully switches them to the wolf shape. Despite the high expectations of some werewolves, even the best werewolf families give birth to yennorks, werewolves who are born locked in one shape (human or wolf) and cannot change form even at full moon. It has been speculated that such non-changing werewolves have gone marrying into human families or wolf clans and given rise to wolfmen of various descriptions and generally more monstrous shapes. The more traditional werewolf families like to kill their yennork children when they are still young. Another form of werewolf has a wolf as its "basic" form, and changes to a human at the full moon.
Werewolves can switch between human and wolf shapes at will, and each shape offers certain advantages. The human shape gives opposable thumbs, better eyesight, and a brain more suitable for rationalized thinking. The wolf shape gives claws, extremely good sense of smell that maps onto the mind the way that humans perceive different colored lights, and unthinking animal reaction times that might be critical for combat survival. Werewolves are cunning and can do a good deal of rational thinking even in wolf form; however, a werewolf that spends too much time in wolf shape may become more simple-minded and less able to live in the world of human intrigues.
Werewolves can be severely wounded, but only fire or silver can cause lasting damage leading to death. In this sense, werewolves are undead although some would debate that werewolves haven't actually died at all and therefore cannot count as undead (Then again, they're large, scary, come from Uberwald and don't die when you stick a sword in them. What else do you want?). A silver collar was used to trap Angua von Überwald in Jingo: this had the effect of trapping her in wolf form and making it impossible for her to change back to Human. In order to dispatch a rogue werewolf, Samuel Vimes used a signal rocket, effectively a large firework, knowing the canine instinct cannot resist chasing and catching however intelligent the mind otherwise is.
Like the vampires, werewolves are hard to kill, physically powerful, and have become feudal rulers in Überwald. As is feudal tradition, werewolf noble families and vampire feudal families all feud against each other. Nevertheless, it is more common for a werewolf noble family to actually be a large clan with many members (see vampires for comparison). Much of this feuding, Pratchett develops out of two major sources: 1) a modern resurgence of werewolf-vampire animosity and 2) old eastern European traditions in which every vampire has a werewolf that hunts it in order to return the vampire to its grave. An additional layer comes into play when prey comes into the picture since both werewolves and vampires, at least until the Century of the Fruitbat, prey upon humans. Thus competition for resources creates a solid, biological, reason for animosity between the two species.
There is an old tradition called Game in which a pack of werewolves go in their wolf shape to hunt down a human running in a forest. This is by proper arrangement with the human, there are many rules including allowing the human a head-start. The rules dictate that if the human outruns the pack in a set amount of time, he is given a sum of money and treated to dinner at the werewolves' castle (instead of being their dinner). After much cheating by modern werewolves from a certain pack (see The Fifth Elephant), it is unclear whether such games are still run and, if they are, whether the old rules are obeyed. The game used to be healthy exercise for the werewolves and a fair chance at a large sum of money for the human.
VAMPIRE
Vampires are the only speicies on the disc that can never be killed fully.
Most vampires originate in Überwald, and those who are still powerful noble families in that region are still feuding with the werewolves. Vampires are often powerful feudal lords because they are undead, so they have had plenty of time to accumulate wealth and political power. Also, they can violently suppress the townspeople if such an action actually becomes necessary. Generally, vampires who want to rule over people can simply influence their minds Though the term "vampire feudal families" is used, it is more common for one single vampire to be the lord of a feudal region; vampires generally do not raise families.
Vampires are nearly indestructible. Though they can be reduced to fine dust by sunlight or a small number of other means, simply dripping a little blood (human or otherwise) onto the pile will result in complete reanimation, and makes scattering remains mandatory.
BLACK RIBBONERS
Times change, even in Überwald. What with advances in communications technology, interfering Witches and the rising influence of Ankh-Morpork, the populace is ever less willing to accept some of the old traditions, such as having the blood drained from their bodies by Vampires. Mobs of peasants and townspeople equipped with torches, pitchforks and sharp wooden stakes have become common around the dark castles of the undead, causing some reflection among thoughtful Vampires. Many of these have concluded that an alternative life style must be found before they are all staked, beheaded, burnt and consigned to running water. (Better communication has spread Vampire remedies, for one thing.)
To promote a healthier, safer modus vivendi, some of them formed the Überwald League of Temperance, a self-help group to encourage each other to abstain from human blood. The League operates as other organisations of the sort, even on Roundworld, offering emotional and practical support to withdrawing Vampires and proselytising among the rest. Lady Margolotta is an early member and a driving force in the movement. Lady Margolotta realised a long time ago that the craving for blood is still only an outward manifestation of something more fundamental still - the craving for power and control. If she can control her fellow vampires through the League, then that's a lot of power in her hands.
Members attend regular meetings and wear a black ribbon to show their affiliation and reassure their human neighbours. The League uses the motto "not one drop" and slogans like "live not in vein." The movement has spread to other regions like Borogravia and the Ankh-Morpork League of Temperance now tends to the needs of the many black-caped immigrants to the city, where people (and particularly the Commander of the Watch) are even less tolerant of the "old ways."
The only obvious downside of the movement is that recovering vampires are forced to shift their original obsession for blood into something else, often with varied results; Otto Chriek, for example, has become an Iconographer, despite the notable handicap of collapsing into dust whenever he uses a bright enough flash, and Maladict's new obsession with coffee leaves this particular vampire prone to shakes and potentially more likely to be overtaken by baser instinct if deprived of it.
DWARVES
Dwarfs love gold, but love iron more, possibly because gold can only be made into jewellery, while iron can be used for making many types of useful tools and weapons. Regardless of this, dwarfs seem to always sing about gold when they sing at all , which they do a lot while drinking in pubs, because the word "gold" makes the chorus easier to sing. There are probably many variations; their vocabulary regarding minerals is extensive to the point they lack a generic word for simply "rock". Silver is also a valuable commodity in the Dwarfish economy:- as well as its uses in jewelry and trading, the metal has an extra significance in Überwald where it almost has the status of a weapon of war (or at the least, the sort of pointed diplomacy that often takes the place of war).
Traditionally, dwarfs are miners in the mountains (nowadays there are also dwarf artificers, jewellers, bakers, Watchmen, etc. in the cities). The dwarf language sounds like someone needs a cough drop after eating too much grit in the mine.
One dwarfish word that is very badly translated when talking to humans is "king," which to the dwarfs means; "senior engineer of the mine," there is little connotation of royalty or god-given right to reign. The dwarf Low King is elected by the senior members of the more powerful mines, and acts as the final court of appeal in disputes. The Low King's seat is in Bonk, Überwald, but it is rumored that dwarf mines are connected underground for miles and miles across the continent.
In the old days, Überwald dwarfs were often dinner to vampires and werewolves, just as humans were; also dwarfs warred against the trolls. This is where that silver stuff comes into it: for quite a long time in Überwald, the Agreement between Dwarfs and Werewolves was: "You agree not to eat us, and we agree not to mine and refine any more of that precious metal that can so spoil a werewolf's digestion, especially for eg if forged into mail shirts and used to edge weapons."
This Agreement breaks down mainly due to the machinations of Wolfgang von Überwald, and silver mining resumes. A silver mailshirt which must be a long-treasured family heirloom travels to Ankh-Morpork with Cheery Littlebottom, because her family have heard there are werewolves in Ankh, and they reason she is likely to need it more than they do.
Very likely due to the mine networks, dwarfs have come to be one of the three major political powers in Überwald There is a rivalry between these Überwaldian dwarves and those from the Copperhead region. Some Überwaldean dwarfs also want to excommunicate all city-dwelling dwarfs.
Traditionally, all dwarfs dress the same and act the same – quaff beer, sing about gold, wave a pickaxe or battleaxe at people when drunk. Samuel Vimes notes that, despite being generally sober and hardworking, dwarves - especially those in his city - with extra leisure time are generally much too rowdy and cantankerous for his comfort.
The dwarf race is not religious. However, tradition is held onto in a nearly religious way, and there such a thing as mine sign which is the subject of much superstition.
The dwarf language is rich and expressive and universally spoken by all dwarfs. Very few non-dwarfs speak it, still less with fluency, and these are generally those who have professional doings with the race, such as Watchmen and bullion dealers. Even these people, and dwarfs speaking Morporkian, must invert their thinking. To dwarfs, low is the human equivalent of high. Thus the Low King, and the confusion when you ask a dwarf if he wants to get in on the ground floor of your latest business venture.
DWARF SONGS:
Old fav: Gold gold gold
New hit: Gold gold gold
All time biggie: Gold gold gold
TROLLS
Huge moving, living rocks of humanoid shape, with intelligence and personality: in other words, trolls are sentient beings. Trolls have interesting seams of valuable minerals as their blood vessels and nervous system. This phenomenon has at least two repercussions. One: a troll's brain, silicon-based, will overheat and slow down in Ankh-Morpork (where everyone wants to live), and the troll will become sadly stupid; the brain will also overheat in strong sun, causing trolls to stop moving in daylight. Two: when a troll has stopped moving while his brain has overheated in daylight, this troll will look just like a lump of rock, with interesting seams of valuable minerals, and may be (and have been) attacked by mining dwarfs. This is very likely the initial cause of the animosity between trolls and dwarfs, even though, after hundreds of years, the feud goes on because it is a cultural tradition for both species. It being a cultural tradition does not mean it is nice; trolls and dwarfs have repeated the Battle of Koom Valley several times, each side springing an ambush on the other, casualties are high. The hostility lives on and is found in any place with a significant number of both species, for example, Ankh-Morpork; a serious riot has occurred in Men at Arms.
Neither have Trolls gotten on well with humans, through most of history. Not being able to digest carbon-based life forms didn't stop them from eating them, and a belt of human skulls used to be a popular fashion statement among male Trolls. Naturally, this sort of thing led to retaliation and a lot of derogatory bedtime stories. Nowadays, relations are much more peaceful all around, and the game of Aargrooha has nearly disappeared. Trolls retain a fear and loathing of billy-goats, however. It's something like elephants and mice.
Trolls are large and powerful, but have never been a political force to be reckoned with in their home mountains (where it is nice and cold and trolls are clever), except for warring against the dwarfs. Trolls generally come from the Ramtops or Überwald; in the Ramtops, trolls are considered a nuisance; in Überwald, trolls are either enemies of dwarfs or treated as semi-sentient slaves. In Bonk, Überwald, trolls are considered properties and need to carry a passport signed by their owners. Only in Ankh-Morpork have trolls been able to influence some policies by being a large immigrant group. They have a rather inefficient crime syndicate called the Breccia, led by the troll Chrysoprase, who is the fastest in assimilating into the city human society. Trolls have also organized the Silicon Anti-Defamation League to improve the image of trolls in the cities.
OTHER PLACES, PEOPLE, CUSTOMS, WEAPONS STAST AND CHARACTER SHEET TEMPLATE WILL BE UP WHEN THEY ARE FINISHED.
