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Made in au
Hardened Veteran Guardsman




Australia

Private Pennant was a member of the Preatorian regiments. He stood against the charred hulk of the looted tank while his best freind, Corporal Wotan; a member of the Death Korpse rummaged through his rucksack.

"Who'd a though" said Pennant, placing his pipe in his mouth
"That we'd have survived that", exhailing a puff of smoke

Wotan leaned against the tank. It was hard to tell what the looted vehicle had originally been. None of its panels shared the same colours and numerous words, slogans and icons in different languages were inscribed on some of them.
Wotan attached his feeding straw to his canteen. He never took his regimental mask of, regardless of the conditions.

"I've been through worse" he said in his Kreig accent
"Oh yeah?" grinned Pennant
"Yeah" said Wotan

"Back home, we stood knee deep in trench water for four years while rats were living off the bodies of our dead freinds with nothing to eat but stale bread
"Oh, we used to dream of dead rats" nodded Pennant

Pennant took a step forward
"Back at 'Big toof', we were surrounded by fifty bazillion, angry green skins, with nothing but expired dog food to live off"

"Luxury" commented Wotan
"At Galgonna 6, we used to have to fight eighty thousand genestealers before breakfast with noting but a toothpick then do ten hours of P.T when we got back"

"You were lucky!" scoffed Pennant
"At 'Big toof', if we were half a second late to parrade we'd get flogged raw then have to dig a fifty foot deep latrine"

Wotan stared up at the night sky in a ponderous manner
"We used to dream of getting flogged raw. Back home, if we complained about the rat infested trench water we lived off our Commissar would punch our teeth out"

"We used to dream of having our teeth punched out" said Pennant, smiling
"Our old R.S.M would have us parrade at all hours and if we did anything wrong he'd kick us into orbit"

"Luxury" muttered Wotan
"Back on Galgonna 6, we used to walk at a snails pace towards the enemies gun nests in the hope of dying so we wouldnt have to look at our R.S.M"

"You were lucky" said Pennant, taking his pipe out of his mouth
"My old platoon once had to fight this flying-pyramid-thing with nothing but a single brick between us and when we blew it up, our Captain sliced half the men in half with a boot knife"

"Luxury" snapped Wotan
As Wotan began to speak, their commanding officers approached; Sergeant Major Ridgeway and Master Sergeant Rich

"What in the name of the Emperor are you two gabbing about?" bellowed the sergeant major at the top of his voice
"Sharing war stories, sir" shrugged Wotan
"Sounded like a load of old bollocks to me" snapped the sergeant major
Master sergeant Rich pointed at both men
"Alright you two; go and check the perimiter and dont let me catch you telling such stupid stories again!"
Pennant and Wotan saluted their commanding officers and picked up their gear. Once they were out of earshot, Rich turned to his old friend
"Did you hear that?, Ridgy?"
"That i did and none of it did i beleive" answered the sergeant major
"Honestly. a 'flying pyramid thing'; whoever heard of such a thing" laughed Rich
"It was the 'kicking into orbit' comment i didnt like. Not even i can kick someone that hard"
Both men then watched the other two wander off to check the area they had been ordered to
"Emperor help me i'll kick those two into orbit if they keep this nonsense up"




   
Made in gb
Liberated Grot Land Raida






Northern Ireland

Nice bit of fun. Its a fact of human nature that no matter how grim a situation is there's always a humorous response. It's how we deal with trauma.

And you know, I can almost see a kernel of truth in every story there. Like the "brick" might have been a clapped out old battle tank but it was all they had compared to this wonderous flying pyramid thing. But you know, it's more fun to tell it like it was just a brick, and it may as well have been for the no doubt hundreds of troops who probbably died in that particular battle. But still, Pennant remembers them, in his way.


A little bit too much repetition of "Luxury" a few more variations in those responses and maybe even a marked scaling up of the hardships as the stories progress to make it a bit more effectively a game of one-upmanship. But overall its enjoyable and a very human story.

   
Made in au
Hardened Veteran Guardsman




Australia

Thanks for the reply. I don't suppose you knew what I more or less pinched it from?
   
 
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