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Is it okay to ask the person bagging your groceries out on a date? Like would it be rude? There's other people in the line waiting for their items bagged as well, there's a bit of an audience, etc. Should I take any opportunity I can?

I think asking anyone you don't already know on a date is going to be kind of awkward regardless of context, but asking someone in the middle of their job seems more awkward than other scenarios. Not rude, but maybe a wee bit weird.

However if you really really want to ask said person and you don't want to be a stalker hanging out waiting for them to leave the store (for the love of me don't do that XD), I'd suggest asking if he/she is seeing anyone first and if they seem uncomfortable apologize and let it go. If they say they are not, and don't look like they're about to call the creep police (security) on you then try asking for his/her number and ask if it would be okay to call them when they're off work.

But what do I fething know. I'm a nerd XD

Nope.

Nope nope nope.

When someone is busy at work all you're likely to do is piss them off and/or embarrass them, and even if they may have said yes under other circumstances, they'll likely say no because of either reason.

Plus you have to be prepared for a robust rejection in public.

I once mentioned in passing to a doorman outside a night club that I quite fancied one of the barmaids while we were milling around outside after closing waiting for some other friends to catch up. Out of devilment or a genuine attempt to be helpful, I will never know, he must have nipped back inside without my notice. A few minutes later, said barmaid appeared on the step outside the entrance, and quite loudly said "did somebody want to speak to me, as it's late and I want to get home to my boyfriend?!"

I then had to meekly confess it was me, and I wanted to ask her out, but I'd already got my answer. That must have been in front of 20 strangers and half a dozen friends.

It was rough!

Try and catch them in a break, or when the queue is empty if there's no other way to interact with them, but I'd try and have a little chat and a laugh with them over a few occasions and try and build a platform first, and give yourself chance to assess how receptive they are.

But don't be creepy about it!

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO.

People at work in a customer service position risk getting fired if they aren't 200% polite and respectful and submissive at all times, and you want to put them in a situation where rejecting you means risking their job? no don't do this. And beyond the pressure issue there's no reason to think that a customer service employee has any interest in you. You don't know them as a person, so why would you think they'd be a good match? There's almost zero chance this turns into anything but an awkward mess.

There's nothing wrong with scribbling your number on the back of the receipt, pushing it forward, smiling and saying to call you (or words to that effect) before leaving. Puts it in their ball court, doesn't distract them from their job with inane flirting, and means that they don't get put under pressure because you're already on the way out.

Hanging around and asking them out in a yes/no format, or asking for their number on the other hand, puts them in a horrendous position, and you shouldn't do it. Even if they're interested, their manager may nail them for it. Do the right thing instead.

 Ketara wrote:
There's nothing wrong with scribbling your number on the back of the receipt, pushing it forward, smiling and saying to call you (or words to that effect) before leaving. Puts it in their ball court, doesn't distract them from their job with inane flirting, and means that they don't get put under pressure because you're already on the way out.

Although one does then have to contend with the awkward third or fourth occasion when you bump into them in the store where it's now abundantly clear they ain't gonna be calling!

No, no NO!!!!!
I worked with some girls all this summer in a bar.
They would have people ask them out slot and give them their numbers. They hated it.
Me.....being their boss, would take the number, call them and pretend to be the girls, their reactions where great.
Never do it.

Most stores have a "no soliciting" policy in place, I assume that covers awkward attempts to solicit their employees for a romantic engagement...


Automatically Appended Next Post:

 hotsauceman1 wrote:
No, no NO!!!!!
I worked with some girls all this summer in a bar.
They would have people ask them out slot and give them their numbers. They hated it.
Me.....being their boss, would take the number, call them and pretend to be the girls, their reactions where great.
Never do it.

1. I have a hard time believing you were anyone's boss.

2. Taking customer information and using it to make prank calls is highly unprofessional, especially for someone in a position of authority.

 hotsauceman1 wrote:
No, no NO!!!!!
I worked with some girls all this summer in a bar.
They would have people ask them out slot and give them their numbers. They hated it.
Me.....being their boss, would take the number, call them and pretend to be the girls, their reactions where great.
Never do it.

I have sufficient female friends who work retail and have favoured me with sufficient stories of being asked to know that I've never heard a horror story involving someone smoothly handing over their number and then leaving. Quite the opposite, I've heard plenty where it worked. It's when you act creepy, demanding, or insistent that it becomes problematic. No girl likes to be put on the spot, and by handing it over, delivering a friendly one or two liner with a smile, and departing, you offer no imposition.

If girls were that easily offended, the human race would never procreate.

 Ketara wrote:
There's nothing wrong with scribbling your number on the back of the receipt, pushing it forward, smiling and saying to call you (or words to that effect) before leaving. Puts it in their ball court, doesn't distract them from their job with inane flirting, and means that they don't get put under pressure because you're already on the way out.

Hanging around and asking them out in a yes/no format, or asking for their number on the other hand, puts them in a horrendous position, and you shouldn't do it. Even if they're interested, their manager may nail them for it. Do the right thing instead.

I'd second this. That said, there is one context I could see it being alright and that would be if it's basically dead (like a holiday or something), there are no customers in sight, and the cashiers are basically stuck sitting around trying to look busy. I've worked grocery before and it does happen. But I would still recommend the above (during a slower period) before that.

 Ketara wrote:

 hotsauceman1 wrote:
No, no NO!!!!!
I worked with some girls all this summer in a bar.
They would have people ask them out slot and give them their numbers. They hated it.
Me.....being their boss, would take the number, call them and pretend to be the girls, their reactions where great.
Never do it.

I have sufficient female friends who work retail and have favoured me with sufficient stories of being asked to know that I've never heard a horror story involving someone smoothly handing over their number and then leaving. Quite the opposite, I've heard plenty where it worked. It's when you act creepy, demanding, or insistent that it becomes problematic. No girl likes to be put on the spot, and by handing it over, delivering a friendly one or two liner with a smile, and departing, you offer no imposition.

If girls were that easily offended, the human race would never procreate.

This was at the local Waterpark, they where not smooth, I heard the term "Bitch" a couple of times when they asked



Automatically Appended Next Post:

 Nostromodamus wrote:
Most stores have a "no soliciting" policy in place, I assume that covers awkward attempts to solicit their employees for a romantic engagement...


Automatically Appended Next Post:

 hotsauceman1 wrote:
No, no NO!!!!!
I worked with some girls all this summer in a bar.
They would have people ask them out slot and give them their numbers. They hated it.
Me.....being their boss, would take the number, call them and pretend to be the girls, their reactions where great.
Never do it.

1. I have a hard time believing you were anyone's boss.

2. Taking customer information and using it to make prank calls is highly unprofessional, especially for someone in a position of authority.

Wow, Thanks
Yes I was someones boss, because I worked hard.
by work hard, I mean show up for work......

 hotsauceman1 wrote:
This was at the local Waterpark, they where not smooth, I heard the term "Bitch" a couple of times when they asked

So really then what you're saying is 'the people I've seen who've done this were acting like complete jerks', which then leads us to the conclusion 'don't act like a total jerk.' Which is, I think, something we can all agree is pretty sound advice. However, I don't think it supports the rest of your conclusion, that the only way to ask is to be a total jerk.

Just telling someone you'd like to get a coffee if they were interested, and leaving your number is not being a jerk. It's a 20 second thing at best.

The question comes with what you do if they say no, or don't call at all. Do you just stop going to that grocery store?

Well yes, Dont be a Jerk Obviously
But I know quite a few women who get hit on constantly at their job(One or two at the LGS) and they hate it because their working and they just want to do their job.

OP, you can always hit her in the head with your club and drag her to your cave, if nothing more works.

 Galas wrote:
OP, you can always hit her in the head with your club and drag her to your cave, if nothing more works.

Careful there, buckeroo, you're playing a dangerous game with those words.

 hotsauceman1 wrote:
Well yes, Dont be a Jerk Obviously
But I know quite a few women who get hit on constantly at their job(One or two at the LGS) and they hate it because their working and they just want to do their job.

But the whole point of the "number in receipt" idea is that it isn't "hitting on them" and it won't disrupt them in the execution of their duties.

I've heard of more than one colleague who put their numbers into cellphones they've sold, for instance, the guy who took it upon himself to look up a girls number on the computer and call her, he got fired.

It's all about staying in the lines and not making it awkward for either party.


Automatically Appended Next Post:

 Galas wrote:
OP, you can always hit her in the head with your club and drag her to your cave, if nothing more works.

You're assuming
a) it's a girl and
b) that Cheescat isn't one of those wet noodley armed type nerds who would simply get his ass kicked, girl or no.

 sebster wrote:
The question comes with what you do if they say no, or don't call at all. Do you just stop going to that grocery store?

There's plenty of grocery stores in Kamloops, so I have options if I really embarrass myself.

The number on the receipt thing sounds like the best idea. If I may ask though, do you get the impression this person likes you too in some way?

 Disciple of Fate wrote:
The number on the receipt thing sounds like the best idea. If I may ask though, do you get the impression this person likes you too in some way?

To me the purpose (or one of them at least) of a date is to find out if someone likes you or not, so I don't know yet.

 Tactical_Spam wrote:

 Galas wrote:
OP, you can always hit her in the head with your club and drag her to your cave, if nothing more works.

Careful there, buckeroo, you're playing a dangerous game with those words.

I apologize. I didn't wanted to offend any homo neanderthalensis and their rich traditions.

 Cheesecat wrote:
To me the purpose (or one of them at least) of a date is to find out if someone likes you or not, so I don't know yet.

To get a "yes" to a date they have to have some reason for thinking that a date is a good idea. If you're just picking random strangers and asking them out your chances of success are almost nonexistent, and you're going to get a ton of awkward rejections. Don't be that guy, only ask out people that seem to be interested, have things in common, etc.

(And don't forget that customer service employees have to be nice to you or they get fired. Smiling at you/wishing you a nice day/etc are just part of the job, they don't mean that someone likes you or even acknowledges you as more than just another annoying customer to deal with.)

 Galas wrote:

 Tactical_Spam wrote:

 Galas wrote:
OP, you can always hit her in the head with your club and drag her to your cave, if nothing more works.

Careful there, buckeroo, you're playing a dangerous game with those words.

I apologize. I didn't wanted to offend any homo neanderthalensis and their rich traditions.

My best friend is a Neanderthal.

I hope you know what I was getting at there though.

 Tactical_Spam wrote:

 Galas wrote:

 Tactical_Spam wrote:

 Galas wrote:
OP, you can always hit her in the head with your club and drag her to your cave, if nothing more works.

Careful there, buckeroo, you're playing a dangerous game with those words.

I apologize. I didn't wanted to offend any homo neanderthalensis and their rich traditions.

My best friend is a Neanderthal.

I hope you know what I was getting at there though.

Yes, I was just joking. But I had understand you. I'll refrain from joking with this in the future!

 hotsauceman1 wrote:
Well yes, Dont be a Jerk Obviously
But I know quite a few women who get hit on constantly at their job(One or two at the LGS) and they hate it because their working and they just want to do their job.

Yeah, I think that is a fair point, and something a person has to be sensitive of when considering something like this. They shouldn't certainly be confident that the girl was doing more than just being polite, more even than that 'professional flirting' that is expected of many women in many public facing positions.

They'd have to judge there was an actual interest taken in them. Which, to be fair, is very hard to figure out a lot of the time.

 Cheesecat wrote:

 sebster wrote:
The question comes with what you do if they say no, or don't call at all. Do you just stop going to that grocery store?

There's plenty of grocery stores in Kamloops, so I have options if I really embarrass myself.

Give it a week and if she doesn't call don't worry about it. The next time you happen to be at her register just be friendly and toss out something along the lines of 'no worries' as you leave. It's not like she has personally evaluated you and decided you're bad--you don't know each other after all, and there's a million reasons completely unrelated to you that she might say no. As much as 'I don't have the time/energy for a relationship right now' may seem like a cover it can easily be the truth.

Yes - dont turn your nose up at her because she has a menial job.

No - dont hit on her at work. Passing her a note might work and can be discrete.

I think a note might be the way to go.

You could write something like,

Hi, sorry if this is awkward as you're obviously busy at work.

I just wanted to let you know I think you're interesting and wondered maybe you'd like to go out sometime? No problem if not but here's my number/social media anyway

Thanks, Cheesecat

P.S Blood for the blood god

I feel this thread needs a distinctly 70s soundtrack. Boom cheeka wow wow!

hotsauceman1 wrote:
This was at the local Waterpark, they where not smooth, I heard the term "Bitch" a couple of times when they asked

The context of the question was 'How do I ask a girl out', not 'How do I negg a girl'. There are alternative methods of hitting on someone without acting like a moron reading an internet 101.

Sebster wrote:The question comes with what you do if they say no, or don't call at all. Do you just stop going to that grocery store?

See, I live in London where your odds of seeing them again are pretty remote. Heck, even if you frequent the same large supermarket, odds of seeing them again are small. Not to mention that even if you do, it's easy to just use another cashier's terminal to pay. Or even self-service. Nobody's going to push an interaction. And even if you did, British people would be unlikely to say anything nasty. After all, even if they decide not to call you, you did pay them a compliment by asking them out (assuming you didn't use the word 'b***h....)

obsidianaura wrote:Hi, sorry if this is awkward as you're obviously busy at work.

I just wanted to let you know I think you're interesting and wondered maybe you'd like to go out sometime? No problem if not but here's my number/social media anyway

Thanks, Cheesecat

I'm sorry, but that sounds awkward as hell.

Thing to remember is this is an elevator pitch. You want to make yourself seem as attractive as possible in a short window without giving off any negative vibes. She doesn't know you, she has no reason to want to. She's at work. That means the only reasons she will accept your proposal are based on i) how good looking you are, and ii) how well you deliver the proposal.

If you furtively wander up, squeak 'Please take this' before your trembling hand thrusts a receipt into hers and you scurry off, you're just going to come off badly. If that receipt has a lovingly crafted detailed message on the back, it'll not only look like you're passing love notes in college, it removes the whole casual pressure-free basis of the interaction. How the hell would you know if she was interesting? Are you watching her? These are things girls have to worry about, and it distracts somewhat from getting the result you want.

The perfect pitch is short, sweet, delivers a reason for her to say yes, and an easy exit for everyone involved. You make sure you're dressed up nice. You walk up to the till. You buy something (what you buy is a subject for another matter, don't be the dillweed who asks for an extra large box of condoms). You smile, and wait for the transaction to go through. Ask for the receipt before she can offer it to you. Whip out a pen and scribble your number on the back, whilst smoothly complimenting something not obvious ('I've just got to say, I love your different colour nails/interesting hairpiece/whatever), then smile and push the receipt across the counter to her whilst seguing into the follow up 'You know, I'm about the next few days if you want to grab coffee or a drink or something. My name's x. Here's my number if you're interested'. Then you depart in as stylish and casual a fashion as you can manage.

In doing so, you're saying 'I am confident enough to see a girl I fancy, and ask her out in a low-key non-douchey way'. If she likes the look of you, and she has some time spare, she might well take you up on it. If she thought you were fugly, it won't happen, but in that case, it was never gonna happen.

A woman's perception of a man's attractiveness is less linked to physical features than the other way around though. Keep it cool, confident, and casual, and you'll have loaded the social stack in your favour as much as you can. That's all you can ever hope for.

 Galas wrote:
OP, you can always hit her in the head with your club and drag her to your cave, if nothing more works.

This is eerily similar to how I became married. Even after all these years, she can still swing that bat!