At a glance, it looks okay. A few little nitpicks, but here's the most important part: is it fun? This is something you won't know until you playtest it.
As someone who frequently dabbles in game design (it's probably my primary hobby), the key question at the end of the day: is it fun. Do you WANT to play it?
There are loads, upon loads, upon loads of mechanically sound games....that become boring as hell. I've been working on a dungeon crawl for 17(!) years. It's been through a dozen or more iterations. Books and books of notes, heaps of fluff, background, vast sweeping changes. You know what it's been missing in every previous version (only recently did I possibly crack it...)? Fun.
Now, people have fun in different ways, but it has to create that fizz. You want to say "Hey man, want to play X?" and you're hoping for the response "Oh hell yeah, that game is super fun." or "I love that game!".
So I looked at your rules and I thought "this looks mechanically sound...where is the hook?". The hook being...what makes it different? Stand-out? What's the draw? What makes me want to go and play this instead of another game?
Now obviously you're just working with a starting document, but going forward it should be something to think about. What's the selling point going to be? Will you perhaps provide hundreds of unit options? That's a plus. Will it be free or cheap? That's a plus. Will you keep it very open so it's super easy for players to modify and create their own stuff? That's a plus.
The next step is obviously, start playtesting it. But, after each game, be honest with yourself. Did you have a good time? Did you laugh? Did you have nervous dice roll-offs where all the players were biting their finger nails? Were people hooting/hollering mid-game because of how exciting it was? That's the tough part. I think you've got a solid foundation from which to work with though.