Nina - We're here 37,000 miles above the Arena of Deth for the first annual Grand Ultimate Space Battle of Space.

Chet - that's right Nina!

Nina - This battle will settle once and for all who has the best starships EVAH!

Chet - That's right Nina!

Nina - First up we have a mile-long Imperial Class Star Destroyer!  With a crew of over 37,000 people, 72 TIE fighters and over 120 guns it certainly is formidable.

Chet - Damn that is so @#$#%ing awesome.  And listen to the soundtrack, that ship just rocks.

Nina - Convieniently we have the Star Destroyers' arch nemesis in the same picture, the modified light freighter, the Millennium Falcon!  Equipped with um, a smuggler, and um a Wookie it um... well...

Chet - WTF?  I mean seriously, WTF?

Nina - Well according to this it did destroy a Death Star.

Chet - It destoryed the Death Star II, the Pussy Death Star, it's not like it destoryed a fully armed and operation battlestation!

Nina - It also says they have Luke Skywalker on guns.

Chet - Oh well in that case they stand a chance.  Next I see we have a Retribution Class battleship from Battlefleet Gothic, this thing is like 4 miles long and rams ships with the big phallic thing in the front!  Plus it looks like a big flying cathedral and that's gotta count for something.

Nina - Yes but 90% of its crew are press-ganged prisoners and their engineers actually pray to the engines, so I don't know how well it can perform.  Anyway next we have a Federation Constitution Class Starship

Chet - WTF (x2)?  The Constitution class has been obsolete since the 2300s, why not send a Soveriegn Class or Defiant?  Or even one of those hippy liberal peace-loving Galaxy Class ships!

Nina - Well it says here this is the NCC-1701 USS Enterprise captianed by James Tiberious Kirk.

Chet - I withdraw my earlier objections.

Nina - Right on its tail is... um...  I don't see anything.

Chet - that's because it hasn't decloaked yet. 

Chet - It's a Klingon Bird of Prey, a classic a real classic.  And speaking of modern classics...

Nina - A box?

Chet - A Borg Cube!  Nuff said!

Nina - Now emerging from Space Fold is the Macross, a mile long alien ship rebuilt by the UN Spacey to fight off alien invaders.  It's worth noting that the Macross has an entire wing of Valkyries that turn into robots and that the Macross itself turns into a huge robot.

Chet - Are you sure you read that right?  Cause that looks a lot like the SDF-1 and a flight of Veritechs.

Nina - Nope, that's the Macross and those are Valkyries, says so right here.

Chet - Weird.  Anyway coming out of FTL now is the Colonial Battlestar Galactica!

Nina - Though it dates back to the first cylon war the Galactica has performed admirable since the destruction of the 12 colonies and defended a rag-tag fleet of colonial survivors.  Funny though, I could have sworn it looked different.

Chet - Now coming out of slipstream is the High Guard heavy cruiser the Andromeda Ascendant!

Nina - With a full complement of Nova bombs and slipstream fighters it's a deadly foe!

Chet - And the ships computer is a babe!

Nina - and the captain is such a hunk!

Chet - Hey look it's the Earthforce destroyer Agamemnon!

Nina - Although it lacks artifical gravity, sheilds and other um, stuff, it does have squadrons of Starfuries.

Chet - And it looks BOSS!  And speaking of boss... the Firefly class transport the Serenity!

Nina - What a hunk of junk.  Does that thing even have weapons?

Chet - Um...  ANYWAY nexy we have the most advanced vehicle yet capable of travel to other dimensions and through time itself!  The Tardis!

Nina - Where?  Is it behind the police box?

Chet - No, it is the police box!

Nina - OK, now you're just $%^&ing with me. 

Chet - Finally we have the possessor of the most advanced weapon yet, the protector of space sector 2814, GREEN LANTERN!

Nina - Where's his ship?

Chet - He doesn't need a ship.

Nina - Whatever.

Chet - If you would like to know more about some of the ships here check out this site:

http://www.merzo.net/

Now let the fighting begin!

Imperial Star Destroyer 11
Millennium Falcon 10
Retribution Class battleship 10
USS Enterprise 10
Klingon Bird of Prey 10
Borg Cube 3
Macross/SDF-1 11
Battlestar Galactica 10
Andromeda Ascendant 10
Earthforce destroyer Agamemnon 10
Firefly class transport Serenity 10
The Tardis 6-
Green Lantern 10

As the oldest ship represented (Hal Jordan excepted) I think the Big-E deserves a little more respect!

Imperial Star Destroyer 12
Millennium Falcon 9
Retribution Class battleship 10
USS Enterprise 9
Klingon Bird of Prey 9
Macross/SDF-1 12
Battlestar Galactica 11
Andromeda Ascendant 9
Earthforce destroyer Agamemnon 7
Firefly class transport Serenity 6
Green Lantern 0-

(edited to correct for simultaneity of posts)

I just remembered why else I don't like the Klingon Bird of Prey.  Scaling problems.  The size of that bird was all over the map, from episode to episode.  Sometimes even from shot to shot. 

Come on. Did Kirk's Enterprise actually fight in any WARS? It was an exploration vessel - searching for the next planet of babes for Kirk.

This is a space battle, not some wimpy 5 year mission!