Space Marines are superhuman warriors (who use steroids) with the strength of ten men, the bravery of twenty men, the experience of one hundred men, and the subtlety of a one ton cow handing out ice cream on a unicycle.

Battle for the Moon- This battle marked the Space Marines' only involvement in the American Civil War. Under the command and employ of Darth Vader, 5 battalions were deployed in the Sea of Tranquility to take J. Edgar Hoover's Confederate Moon base. As Pink Floyd rose on the Dark Side, the Second and Fourth battalions began their charge on the fortress. However, as the brave marines were within mortar range, Hoover's cows began unleashing volley after volley of iPods from their Swiss turrets. Casaulties began piling up. The mortar squads were only 4.2% successful, as they purchased the mortar tubes from IKEA. As the third battalion arrived to aid their failing comrades, the bovine soldiers launched a counter-strike on the marines' right flank. As the cows began to overwhelm the Union mercenaries, a young, ambitious sergeant named Franklin Jefferson Burger, ordered his troops to load their rifles with silver iodide crystals and charge into the mooing marauders, a move eeirely similar to that of Joshua Chamberlain at Gettysburg. With the arrival of the remaining battalions into the craters, victory seemed inevitable for the veteran marines. Yet Hoover had one last weapon in his arsenal. After ordering a tactical withdrawal, Hoover used his giant vacuum on the hapless Space Marines, thus ending the Union lunar campaign. 46,783 Marines and 24,680 cows lost their lives during the campaign. Franklin Burger later would become Commander in Chief of the Space Marines and their people for 420 years. The Marines refer to him even today as "His Whopperness, Burger the King."
Wait, what?

Nerf_IG wrote:When will people realize that nearly every internet meme is completely tired and played out? Instead of actually making jokes that are funny everyone just parrots somebody else and expects others to laugh because they've heard it before.

That being said I never make my own jokes, I just try and find more obscure sources to steal from.

Space Marines are often quite heavy handed. This is the Aures IV exterminatis, undertaken when an Aures citizen was caught riding the train without a ticket.

A Space Marine himself is a mighty human warrior who has had his physiology and psychology altered and improved so greatly that he can no longer be considered human, but rather, Australian.

Alazahr wrote:

Milquetoast Thug wrote:

A Space Marine himself is a mighty human warrior who has had his physiology and psychology altered and improved so greatly that he can no longer be considered human, but rather, Australian.

"I am the Primarch of Californ'a." *A bomb goes off near him.* "Agghhhh. Get in the Speeda'! Agghahhahghahhah!"

-J.

Gwar! wrote:

Alazahr wrote:

Milquetoast Thug wrote:

A Space Marine himself is a mighty human warrior who has had his physiology and psychology altered and improved so greatly that he can no longer be considered human, but rather, Australian.

"I am the Primarch of Californ'a." *A bomb goes off near him.* "Agghhhh. Get in the Speeda'! Agghahhahghahhah!"

-J.

I see what you did there...

augfubuoy wrote:You did a play on words about Swarzenegger when he yelled: "Get in to da choppa!!" and you changed it a bit to reflect his being the Governator of California now.

Funny