Snrub wrote:
Ok im gonna put my self in the crosshairs here and this looks absoloutely terrible.

 Avatar 720 wrote:
I agree, it does look absolutely terrible.

 Snrub wrote:
Synched dance dance revoloution? Spare me please.

 Mr Nobody wrote:
Who needs plot or story when you have rocket punches.

 Kovnik Obama wrote:

What I wonder about is the striking resemblance between this and the rumoured Privateer Press Monsterpocalypse movie.

 Snrub wrote:
Ok im gonna put my self in the crosshairs here and this looks absoloutely terrible. It looks like someones gone and read to many HFY posts on /tg/ and thought, "yeah im gonna take this and this and this and cram it all into one movie".

I love aliens, i love giant mechs, i also love seeing cities getting destroyed. This just smacks of though to me.

 dienekes96 wrote:
Have only a few Dakka members ever seen a del Toro movie? They are many things, including Oscar-nominated, but certainly not stupid. You are usually guaranteed brilliant monster designs, actual characterization and several shots of intense cinematic beauty. Even Blade II, his worst film, had some incredible compositions.

 Ahtman wrote:
Have you never seen a Godzilla (American version doesn't count) or Gamera movie?

 sebster wrote:
I'm a fan of Guillermo del Toro, but this looks just plain stupid.

"Sir, we have a problem. When we deployed our fighter jets to attack the giant alien beasts they flew in really close to fire their machine guns and crashed into the aliens."
"Why didn't they fire missiles from range? Why didn't we just fire gakloads of high explosive, direct fire rockets from helicopters from a few hundred metres away? What about a single cruise missile with a high yield weapon?"
"None of those things are option, sir, because this is a stupid, stupid movie."
"So now we've decided to pretend our vast array of standard weaponry doesn't exist, what do we do?"
"Sir, we build giant remote controlled robots, and then have the robots punch the aliens to death."
"My, God this movie is even worse than my agent warned me about."



I'm really god damned bored with this Hollywood convention that the only thing that can defeat a stupid cliche is an even stupider cliche. What I want to see is some goofball alien/demon menace show up on Earth, and us blow it to pieces with the incredibly effective military hardware we've evolved over the last few hundred years. I mean, if nothing else, we are damn good at building weapons of death. Lets celebrate that.

 LordofHats wrote:

 sebster wrote:
I'm a fan of Guillermo del Toro, but this looks just plain stupid.

"Sir, we have a problem. When we deployed our fighter jets to attack the giant alien beasts they flew in really close to fire their machine guns and crashed into the aliens."
"Why didn't they fire missiles from range? Why didn't we just fire gakloads of high explosive, direct fire rockets from helicopters from a few hundred metres away? What about a single cruise missile with a high yield weapon?"
"None of those things are option, sir, because this is a stupid, stupid movie."
"So now we've decided to pretend our vast array of standard weaponry doesn't exist, what do we do?"
"Sir, we build giant remote controlled robots, and then have the robots punch the aliens to death."
"My, God this movie is even worse than my agent warned me about."



I'm really god damned bored with this Hollywood convention that the only thing that can defeat a stupid cliche is an even stupider cliche. What I want to see is some goofball alien/demon menace show up on Earth, and us blow it to pieces with the incredibly effective military hardware we've evolved over the last few hundred years. I mean, if nothing else, we are damn good at building weapons of death. Lets celebrate that.

This. I'm fully ready and willing to suspend disbelief and watch Gundam Deathscythe start using its giant laser scythe to beat the crap out of every other robot on the block, but I have limits.

Also:

"The enemy doesn't appear to have any air support so we're going to leave our jets at base on that assumption."
"But, they came from space..."
"What's your point?"

15 minutes later:

"Oh god they have air support! Why didn't we foresee this as a possibility!?"

Preview of Battlefield L.A.

 Snrub wrote:

 Ahtman wrote:
Have you never seen a Godzilla (American version doesn't count) or Gamera movie?

Nah uh... Don't start comparing this to Godzilla movies. Some of the newer movies (1990 onwards) may be fairly hit and miss. But they aren't full of cliches and over used action movie themes. Godzilla movies may get a little tacky in places and cringeworthy in others (looking at you scene where the Kaiju play soccer with each other.) but they aren't anything like this.

 sebster wrote:
I'm a fan of Guillermo del Toro, but this looks just plain stupid.

"Sir, we have a problem. When we deployed our fighter jets to attack the giant alien beasts they flew in really close to fire their machine guns and crashed into the aliens."
"Why didn't they fire missiles from range? Why didn't we just fire gakloads of high explosive, direct fire rockets from helicopters from a few hundred metres away? What about a single cruise missile with a high yield weapon?"
"None of those things are option, sir, because this is a stupid, stupid movie."
"So now we've decided to pretend our vast array of standard weaponry doesn't exist, what do we do?"
"Sir, we build giant remote controlled robots, and then have the robots punch the aliens to death."
"My, God this movie is even worse than my agent warned me about..

 AustonT wrote:
Gundam: America
color me unexcited.

 Easy E wrote:
Perhaps it is a subtle satire of how stupid movies like Transformers really are, whiel also poking a little mischief at Kaiju movies?

 sebster wrote:
I'm a fan of Guillermo del Toro, but this looks just plain stupid.

"Sir, we have a problem. When we deployed our fighter jets to attack the giant alien beasts they flew in really close to fire their machine guns and crashed into the aliens."
"Why didn't they fire missiles from range? Why didn't we just fire gakloads of high explosive, direct fire rockets from helicopters from a few hundred metres away? What about a single cruise missile with a high yield weapon?"
"None of those things are option, sir, because this is a stupid, stupid movie."
"So now we've decided to pretend our vast array of standard weaponry doesn't exist, what do we do?"
"Sir, we build giant remote controlled robots, and then have the robots punch the aliens to death."
"My, God this movie is even worse than my agent warned me about."



I'm really god damned bored with this Hollywood convention that the only thing that can defeat a stupid cliche is an even stupider cliche. What I want to see is some goofball alien/demon menace show up on Earth, and us blow it to pieces with the incredibly effective military hardware we've evolved over the last few hundred years. I mean, if nothing else, we are damn good at building weapons of death. Lets celebrate that.

 d-usa wrote:
I thought being big, dumb and over cliched is the winning combination for action movies?

I have to admit, that was actually part of the reason why I liked Transformers.

I quite often enjoy deep meaningful movies that provoke my thoughts and make me reflect on myself and everything that is going on around me.

But sometimes, I just wanna watch giant space robots blow each other the feth up while I am shoving popcorn in my face.

 Hulksmash wrote:
I agree Gorgon. I just want to be entertained when I see an action flick. As long as the dialogue isn't as bad as a Lucas film ala Starwars Prequels or Redtails I'm generally pretty easy to please.

 sebster wrote:
I'm really god damned bored with this Hollywood convention that the only thing that can defeat a stupid cliche is an even stupider cliche. What I want to see is some goofball alien/demon menace show up on Earth, and us blow it to pieces with the incredibly effective military hardware we've evolved over the last few hundred years. I mean, if nothing else, we are damn good at building weapons of death. Lets celebrate that.

 SilverMK2 wrote:

 sebster wrote:
I'm really god damned bored with this Hollywood convention that the only thing that can defeat a stupid cliche is an even stupider cliche. What I want to see is some goofball alien/demon menace show up on Earth, and us blow it to pieces with the incredibly effective military hardware we've evolved over the last few hundred years. I mean, if nothing else, we are damn good at building weapons of death. Lets celebrate that.

I'd love to see a film about conventional warfare against aliens.

 Hulksmash wrote:
I quite enjoyed Battle: LA. Granted I expected cliche lines. The rest of was actually quite good to me.

 Frazzled wrote:

 Hulksmash wrote:
I quite enjoyed Battle: LA. Granted I expected cliche lines. The rest of was actually quite good to me.

DITTO. It was like 40K IG vs. aliens, except with better looking actors.

 AlexHolker wrote:

 Easy E wrote:
Perhaps it is a subtle satire of how stupid movies like Transformers really are, whiel also poking a little mischief at Kaiju movies?

I hope not. I like reconstructions, not deconstructions. If you have a problem with your source material I want you to try to rise above its flaws, I don't want you to deliberately make a bad movie with the excuse that you're doing so ironically.

 d-usa wrote:
I thought being big, dumb and over cliched is the winning combination for action movies?

I have to admit, that was actually part of the reason why I liked Transformers.

I quite often enjoy deep meaningful movies that provoke my thoughts and make me reflect on myself and everything that is going on around me.

But sometimes, I just wanna watch giant space robots blow each other the feth up while I am shoving popcorn in my face.

 Frazzled wrote:

 Hulksmash wrote:
I quite enjoyed Battle: LA. Granted I expected cliche lines. The rest of was actually quite good to me.

DITTO. It was like 40K IG vs. aliens, except with better looking actors.

 LordofHats wrote:
Actually the title is Battle: L.A. but I'm not shocked I can't remember the title because it was ridiculously stupid.

Preview #2:

"We need to aim for the chest just right of the heart. That's how we kill them"
"So the torso? Center of mass?"
"Yes?"
"Isn't that standard procedure sir?"
"I can't hear you over the sound of how serious I am."

 Captain Fantastic wrote:
Giant Mecha? Why don't you just leave it to the Nipponji? ~

 Grimtuff wrote:
I'll let you off as you appear to have not been following this film's development.

 d-usa wrote:
I thought being big, dumb and over cliched is the winning combination for action movies?

I have to admit, that was actually part of the reason why I liked Transformers.

I quite often enjoy deep meaningful movies that provoke my thoughts and make me reflect on myself and everything that is going on around me.

But sometimes, I just wanna watch giant space robots blow each other the feth up while I am shoving popcorn in my face.

 hotsauceman1 wrote:
Yes frazzled, But how boring would a monster movie be if it was just planes shooting at the monster with nuclear warheads?

 sebster wrote:

 LordofHats wrote:
Actually the title is Battle: L.A. but I'm not shocked I can't remember the title because it was ridiculously stupid.

Preview #2:

"We need to aim for the chest just right of the heart. That's how we kill them"
"So the torso? Center of mass?"
"Yes?"
"Isn't that standard procedure sir?"
"I can't hear you over the sound of how serious I am."

That last line is gold

 sebster wrote:

 LordofHats wrote:
Actually the title is Battle: L.A. but I'm not shocked I can't remember the title because it was ridiculously stupid.

Preview #2:

"We need to aim for the chest just right of the heart. That's how we kill them"
"So the torso? Center of mass?"
"Yes?"
"Isn't that standard procedure sir?"
"I can't hear you over the sound of how serious I am."

That last line is gold

 hotsauceman1 wrote:
Yes frazzled, But how boring would a monster movie be if it was just planes shooting at the monster with nuclear warheads?

 sebster wrote:

 hotsauceman1 wrote:
Yes frazzled, But how boring would a monster movie be if it was just planes shooting at the monster with nuclear warheads?

Well that's how the script writer is supposed to earn his pay cheque. But too often when they see a slightly difficult writing challenge like that they figure it is easier to just to put out any old gak and expect the nerds will eat it up uncritically. It's patronising and lazy, but it also appears to work quite often.

 hotsauceman1 wrote:
People don't always need their movies to be realistic to be fun.
Take Star ship Troopers, In the movie they are fighting bugs that they have no care for, with no civilians, Why don't they just drop a nuke on them? Or a meteor? Because it would be a short movie.
You can always over analyze a movie for fun, I do it, but you shouldn't let you over analyzation get in the way of fun unless it is really stupid.

 LordofHats wrote:

 hotsauceman1 wrote:
People don't always need their movies to be realistic to be fun.
Take Star ship Troopers, In the movie they are fighting bugs that they have no care for, with no civilians, Why don't they just drop a nuke on them? Or a meteor? Because it would be a short movie.
You can always over analyze a movie for fun, I do it, but you shouldn't let you over analyzation get in the way of fun unless it is really stupid.

Really Stupid? Well starting with Starship Troopers as an example, why is it that this advanced futuristic military is only capable of fighting war as light infantry? I mean seriously. Air support is used once in the entire film (even though they have entire fleets of ships). No heavy weapons other than sparsely used nuke launchers that seem just thrown in as a token acknowledgment of the book (those guys in that besiged fort could have used some). No tanks. No vehicles at all. They have drop ships but are walking to their destination and they spend most of the film prattling on about how bad ass soldiers are supposed to be while really sucking at the art of war.

Then it's got that whole cheesy romance thing going with Dizzy and Carmen and I don't think anyone really cared about either except when we got to see some boobs. There are two reasons Starship Troopers is a horrible movie. One is that it butchered a very thought invoking novel about war, democracy, and citizenship and turned it into a cliche action flick. Two is that the cliche action flick was a very horrible cliche action flick. If someone wants to enjoy something be my guest go ahead. I like Independence Day myself. Just don't pretend its anything but a trashy movie that panders to the dead brained part of us all.

Transformers, Red Dawn (the original), Shooter, Godzilla (Japan version 1960's), Battle Royal. Those are stupid movies that are enjoyable to watch, because while their premises are on their face really dumb, the stories are themselves not dead brained. EDIT: Heck, go watch the Toxic Avenger! There is an example of a stupid movie that knows its stupid, plays to its own stupidness, and as a result is hilarious to watch hitting the peak of the so bad its good scale! EDIT EDIT: Or Equilibrium for that matter. Gun Fu to the extreme.

 LordofHats wrote:
Oh no. I include Equilibrium as a film with a really stupid premise that avoids being dead brained (though that may be unfair because the film was written to be a little artsy, where as a lot of the films we're talking about here are not).

EDIT: Hell the thing I liked most about Equilibrium is that its a fairly down to earth artsy film, not one of those films that's nearly impossible to understand without asking some high and might douche what it means.

 hotsauceman1 wrote:
Uncritically? That i seriously doubt. I watch Thousands of movies and shows, from anime to movies. Do I just sit back and watch it? Sometimes, But yes, many people will think "Why didnt they just drop a nuke on it" and then watch the robots duel with monsters. People don't always need their movies to be realistic to be fun.

 Kovnik Obama wrote:
What I wonder about is the striking resemblance between this and the rumoured Privateer Press Monsterpocalypse movie.

 VermGho5t wrote:
Giant monster movie, that isn't fething shaky cam? And has Guillermo Del Toro directing?

Yes please!

 -Loki- wrote:

 VermGho5t wrote:
Giant monster movie, that isn't fething shaky cam? And has Guillermo Del Toro directing?

Yes please!

That right there. Cloverfield would have been a million times better (proven statistic) if it was shot like a normal movie and we got to see the monster for more than a collective 5 minutes through 2 hours of film.

There's a place for well done monster movies. I don't think it's the wrong genre for the western market, it's just that it's been given a lacklustre showing lately.

 -Loki- wrote:

 VermGho5t wrote:
Giant monster movie, that isn't fething shaky cam? And has Guillermo Del Toro directing?

Yes please!

That right there. Cloverfield would have been a million times better (proven statistic) if it was shot like a normal movie and we got to see the monster for more than a collective 5 minutes through 2 hours of film.

There's a place for well done monster movies. I don't think it's the wrong genre for the western market, it's just that it's been given a lacklustre showing lately.

 hotsauceman1 wrote:
First, In Starship Troopers, It wasnt until AFTER the attack on Klendathu that they wanted the brainbug