<![CDATA[Latest posts for the thread "Beginning of a 40k Story - ''Rediscovery'' of Former Imperial Planet"]]> http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/69.page JForum - http://www.jforum.net Beginning of a 40k Story - ''Rediscovery'' of Former Imperial Planet Hello everyone, I just wrote a blurb intro for a story based around a former imperial planet being ''rediscovered'', feedback welcome

426 years had passed since the Empire of Mankind lost control over the planet Koshak-4 in the Falhaven starsystem. 426 years since the Astra Militarum drew back and left the rebellious populace victorious. In the present day few of the planet’s inhabitants knew of the time under Imperial rule and fewer still knew that the Imperium was still out there and could return. But those who did feared it deeply. For if the Imperium were to rediscover the lost planet they would return to reclaim it, and freedom of would be lost once again.

Royal Advisor Valentin Kostya gazed upon an ancient tapestry in the Koshak Palace, studying each of the hundreds of woven images in turn. The tapestry was a sort of timeline beginning with the outbreak of the Great Rebellion on the far left and ending with the establishment of the Koshak World Union on the right. It was one of few reminders of the time before the Old Empire had been overthrown and ruling power had been taken by a line of Koshak nobles, the current being King Stanislav Vadim. Amidst the sprawling mass of the tapestry’s faded images Valentin had found the coronation of the first Koshak monarch 4 centuries ago. Flags in the red and white of the World Union, were woven in rows around a number of humble Koshak nobles involved in the coronation. Smiling and cheering Koshak inhabitants were watching as the final measure of autonomy from the Old Empire was unfolding. The tapestry around the coronation seemed a bit more colorful than the other parts, almost glowing with radiant happiness and cheers of freedom.

To the left of the coronation was a much darker picture. Hundreds of mud covered soldiers in drab uniforms stood unleashing volleys of red fire into the charging Koshak resistance army. Large flags above the uniformed soldiers bore the stylised two headed eagle of the Old Empire and so did long columns of imperial tanks as well. To Valentin the eagles were symbols of tyranny and oppression whilst the red and white flags waving above the Koshak resistance seemed to be islands of hope in a sea of chaos. Valentin imagined he saw the bitter defiance in every Koshak warrior woven in the tapestry and felt a warm pride. This image showed the final battle that led to the freedom of Koshak.

Stories said that after the Imperial forces were destroyed the survivors had fled to the stars. The tapestry depicted this with a beam of light stretching from the sun down to decimated Imperials who ascended the golden spiral into the heavens. Valentin was not sure if this was metaphorical or if the Imperial forces indeed had possessed technology that allowed them to leave the planet. It was difficult to know because much technology had been lost since the Old Empire fell. Most of the advanced technologies that remained in the Koshak World Union were captured machines of the Old Empire. Thousands of military devices had been rebuilt to suit a peaceful world. The Koshak World Union still relied heavily on its military, but the army had been integrated into civilian life to the point where it sometimes was hard to distinguish between a factory worker and a soldier. Armoured vehicles of the Old Empire had been converted into plows and where now used on plantation and fields, huge walkers were used in the factories and industries, and the few flying machines that remained were used as transports for the governing organs of the World Union. Koshak had been relatively peaceful since the fall of the Old Empire and this was probably due to the integration of the military in every part of society. A soldier in Koshak Union Army spent more time in a civilian role than in a military function, meaning that the army was huge and always present. Valentin appreciated this system and had served 10 years in the army himself, before rising in ranks until he joined King Stanislav’s council.


Valentin was on his way to the Great Hall for a meeting with King Stanislav and his other advisors now, but the meeting wouldn’t begin for another hour so Valentin had time to study the tapestry. He would often come here early in the morning to enjoy the peaceful environment of the Koshak Palace. It gave him time to clear his thoughts and prepare for the day ahead. This morning he had found a tapestry of the Great Rebellion lost amongst the other splendours of the palace. It had reminded him of how grateful he should be for what his ancestors struggles. After over four centuries of freedom from the authoritarian and corrupt regime of the Old Empire it was hard to imagine anything but the current life on the peaceful planet. But life on Koshak was about to change forever. Valentin, however, was completely unaware as he studied the ancient tapestry in the early morning light.

Here are some pictures that inspired me

]]> http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/preList/712832/9109422.page http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/preList/712832/9109422.page GMT Re:Beginning of a 40k Story - ''Rediscovery'' of Former Imperial Planet http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/preList/712832/9109439.page http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/preList/712832/9109439.page GMT Re:Beginning of a 40k Story - ''Rediscovery'' of Former Imperial Planet ''italic'' might be confusing because it is from an imperial perspective(?). The rest will be from the planet's inhabitants point of view.]]> http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/preList/712832/9109444.page http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/preList/712832/9109444.page GMT Re:Beginning of a 40k Story - ''Rediscovery'' of Former Imperial Planet
TooriBoori wrote:
That is the plan. I guess the short intro in ''italic'' might be confusing because it is from an imperial perspective(?). The rest will be from the planet's inhabitants point of view.


You could do the intro from the planet's perspective instead of the Imperium's. It's literally the first thing people will read about it, so it's really, really, important.]]> http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/preList/712832/9109450.page http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/preList/712832/9109450.page GMT Beginning of a 40k Story - ''Rediscovery'' of Former Imperial Planet http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/preList/712832/9109457.page http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/preList/712832/9109457.page GMT Beginning of a 40k Story - ''Rediscovery'' of Former Imperial Planet
TooriBoori wrote:
Point taken XD I will rework or perhaps remove that short intro entirely.


Rework it. Have it be about the planet fearing the return of the Imperium for however many years, and finally they've arrived to (something bad, I dunno).]]> http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/preList/712832/9109475.page http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/preList/712832/9109475.page GMT Beginning of a 40k Story - ''Rediscovery'' of Former Imperial Planet ]]> http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/preList/712832/9109491.page http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/preList/712832/9109491.page GMT Beginning of a 40k Story - ''Rediscovery'' of Former Imperial Planet
TooriBoori wrote:
There we go, it's not from an imperial perspective any more. But I'm not completely satisfied and will likely rewrite it again later


It's fine, you can always edit your lore later.]]> http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/preList/712832/9109539.page http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/preList/712832/9109539.page GMT