Too many orders! (joke thread)

Yarium — GMT

Brother Capillac, a trained <> of many decades (-1CP) in the <> Chapter, itself of noble founding from the <>, was getting ready to aim his Stalker-Pattern Bolt Rifle at the approaching Alpha Legion Lord Discordant; a mass of muscles, warp-forged steel, and baleful rider with mechanical tendrils which seemed to rend even the air apart and distort its true location. First he recited the "Recitation of Focus" called upon by the <> standing next to him. Such was the Chaplains vigor, won hard through the Centuries (-1CP), that he had managed to perfectly interlace the sacred words with the "Catechism of Fire", a feat that could only be attempted and understood by a real Astartes Warrior such as themselves. As he was reflecting on both prayers simultaneously, when his reflexes, honed sharp through rigorous training that being the "Scions of the Chapter" they were, which had been drilled into them from their indoctrination, told him he needed to do in order to make sure each of his shots had a chance of maximizing damage, even against concealed targets. As the Commander of the battle had not yet instructed him otherwise, he assumed they were still to be fighting in the "Devastator Doctrine", and so he was also aiming his weapon in concert with his battle brothers to more effectively strip the armor from his foe. But again, these successive barrages as a chapter would yield even greater effect against the bio-mechanic horror before him, dealing even more damage.

He and his squad had just repositioned, and he called out into the Vox that they would be applying a STEADY ADVANCE, even at the cost of the battle plan (-1 CP), but he knew his brothers would adjust accordingly. Fittingly, just as the Master of Sanctity laced his prayers together, so too did Brother Capillac twin his words to rally his squadmates to execute a BOLTER DRILL. He hoped that this wouldn't confuse the rest of the army, especially as his words were overlapping the Chaplain's (-1CP). Brother Capillac struggled to get his message across though, for his Chapter Master, called upon the battlefield in this time of great need (-1 CP), was calling for Capillac and his squadmates to mind their aim. He had almost become distracted by all the noise and re-steadied his grip, even as the Lieutenant was barking a second set of orders to aim for weaker points on the Lord Discordant. However, he did not dismay, for Brother-Captain Annihilus gave Capillac a quick salute, reminding him of his place in the concert of war cries. Capillac had great respect for Annihilus, who was a Hero of the Chapter, and whom had studied these small signs to help instruct his battle brothers in these times of need (-1CP). Annihilus had added a small flourish to his salute, which was also instructing Capillac's squad to unleash the "Storm of Fire" on Annihilus' foes (his signature order). Capillac gritted his teeth with rage at trying to understand 4 sets of overlaying orders, and he felt he needed to unleash his PRAETORIAN'S WRATH. He was unsure how this would affect the battle (-1CP), but all of this was too much. Yet still the ceaseless barrage of orders came in, as someone was yelling at him to SLAY THE TYRANT (-1CP). Was that not what he was instructed to do? Or had Capillac become lost in the sea of words, which now seemed to countermand that order with interlaced shouts to make the shots using the TANK HUNTERS engagement protocol (-1CP). Capillac thought he was targeting a daemon. But it was too late, for amidst the layers and layers and layers of orders and prayers and shouts and screams, the Lord Discordant had moved up and rent his chainglaive through the Primaris Marine.

"What was that?" Asked the Daemonic Mount. "Vox scream, I think." responded the Lord Discordant.

Automatically Appended Next Post:
Just to point out, this really is just a joke on how ridiculous the stacking of some of these things are from the thematic standpoint. I've never played against Imperial Fists - I just think the idea of this many orders becoming so confusing that a Marine forgets to shoot his gun is funny.

Too many orders! (joke thread)

MegaDave — GMT

I quite enjoyed it

Re:Too many orders! (joke thread)

Gadzilla666 — GMT

Vox scream eh? So Night Lords tearing out Imperial Fist's throats.

Just like dear old Dad.

Re:Too many orders! (joke thread)

ccs — GMT

Very nice.

I was predicting that Capillac would suffer a Mortal Wound at the end as the orders barrage melted his brain.

Too many orders! (joke thread)

Dai — GMT

Very good!

Too many orders! (joke thread)

Not Online!!! — GMT

Ironically, the Same works with chaos.

Infact probably even better.

Too many orders! (joke thread)

Ginjitzu — GMT

Exalted.

Too many orders! (joke thread)

Gir Spirit Bane — GMT

10/10, best post on 40k General in a while!

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