Switch Theme:

Add a New Article

Recent Changes
Your Watchlist
All Articles

View a Random Article
Upload a File

Images Tutorial
Editing Tutorial
Articles Tutorial

Patricia and the Black Legion (comic book script; grimdark w/a wholesome childhood cameo)


A young girl faces a Chaos attack, finds unexpected friends, and learns what she's capable of

Patricia and the Black Legion

Note that the page numbers and dialogue are supposed to be centered, but everything shifted to the left when I pasted in the text! I'm sorry about that. Enjoy! All I own is the general plot; GW has everything else.

Patricia and the Black Legion

Page 1

Panel 1 [This is a panel large enough to take up a third of the page, horizontally.] This is the waterfront of the city of Kensa, on the planet Richor. [I don’t have a population size in mind, but think “college town.”] It’s a very nice day, and there are people everywhere. They’re strolling, eating yummy treats, talking, etc. There are street vendors, performers, etc. Note that there is no beach here, but there are piers with tied-up watercraft. The buildings, civilian vehicles, and to an extent the clothes have a cyberpunk look in general, but definitely weathered and lived-in.

Panel 2 [This panel also takes up a third of the page, in the middle this time.] The scene is still the waterfront, but now in the center of the scene we can see a table with one adult woman (MRS. TESTOR) and four young GIRLS (aged about fourteen or so) behind it. They are wearing blue Girl Guides uniforms, with prominent Aquilas (Aquilae?) visible. Numerous small, colorful boxes are arranged atop the table, along with a metal cash box. A couple of CUSTOMERS are on the other side, examining the cookies.

Panel 3 Closer up, one of the customers has a box of cookies, and is chatting with the girls and Mrs. Testor. Everybody is all smiles.

Panel 4 One girl, PATRICIA, fairly tall and very thin, is putting some cash in the cash box.

Panel 5 We’re looking right at Patricia, who looks cheerful.

PATRICIA (narration) I love this sort of thing. It never gets old.

PATRICIA Thanks! Enjoy.

Page 2

Panel 1 Down on the sidewalk, a somewhat grizzled man is walking along. He’s an Imperial Guard VETERAN, although there are not necessarily any obvious signs.

Panel 2 From the Veteran’s POV, three or four round shadows appear on the water.

Panel 3 The veteran looks up at the sky with a hand to block the glare.

Panel 4 There is a glint/flicker appearing in the sky. [I’m trying to depict the “arc light” effect of objects coming down from high in the sky.]

Panel 5 The veteran has a sudden moment of clarity. He remembers.

Panel 6 The veteran turns away from the water and towards the various people in the vicinity. The table with the Girl Guides is in the background.

Panel 7 [This panel takes up the bottom third of the page.] The veteran is now moving, waving his arms and gesticulating. VETERAN Run! Run!

Page 3

Panel 1 The nearby pedestrians are unfazed and unimpressed. Some ignore him completely and keep on walking, while others turn to stare.

VETERAN They’re coming! They’re coming!

Panel 2 It’s the same scene, but he has more of an audience now.

PEDESTRIAN Who’s coming?

VETERAN From the sky- Heretics! Traitors!

Panel 3 Patricia and the other girls glance at one another. Mrs. Testor is still looking at the Veteran.

PATRICIA (narration) This is different.

Panel 4 The Veteran steps out towards the middle of the sidewalk. He has onlookers, but not many.

VETERAN I’ve seen it before! I’m a veteran! They’re coming out of the sky, in moments! We have to run, get help… listen to me!!

Panel 5 The shadows have moved closer to the land, but are over the boats/piers.

Panel 6 A small crowd are now looking up at the sky, and many of them have dropped jaws.

Panel 7 The Girl Guides and their chaperone are doing the same.

GIRL GUIDE Mrs. Testor??

Panel 8 The veteran and a horde of civilians are now running away from the waterfront. The water is churning some distance from the shoreline.

Panel 9 Mrs. Testor grabs the cash box, leaving the boxes of cookies, as she moves to exit with the girls.

MRS. TESTOR Girls, stay with me! Let’s go!

Page 4

Panel 1 [This panel takes up the top third of the page.] Two drop pods, thoroughly adorned in the symbols of the Black Legion (and Chaos in general), slam into the waterfront. One crushes a couple of boats and is in the shallow water right next to the walkway, while the other lands on the pavement itself, leaving a crater underneath. The shock waves from the impact knock over many of the civilians.

Panel 2 A DEFILER crawls out of the water, armed with the usual battle cannon, Reaper autocannon, and a Defiler Scourge.

Panel 3 Farther along the waterfont, an Assault Drill emerges, sending debris flying.

Panel 4 A squad of CHAOS TERMINATORS escorting one CHAOS LORD (in Terminator armor as well) materialize on the walkway, having teleported in. [I’m not sure how you should depict this. Kirby dots? It doesn’t really matter how they’re armed; it’s the usual mix.]

CHAOS LORD Your doom is at hand! [It has to be clear just how amplified, distorted, and terrifying his voice is.]

Panel 5 A squad of PLAGUEMARINES [also armed with the usual mix] have emerged from one of the drop pods, and a HELBRUTE from the other. The Helbrute is equipped with a multi-melta and a power scourge.

HELBRUTE WHERE IS THIS CHALLENGE I WAS PROMISED!?!? [Like the Chaos Lord, only much more so!]

Panel 6 CULTISTS are streaming from the Assault Drill, with those in front shooting with their autoguns.

Panel 7 All of the civilians are trying to escape, and shots from the Chaos forces immediately cut down several of them.

Page 5

Panel 1 Amid the scrambling, panicked crowd, Mrs. Testor is helping the girls stand up. It’s difficult, partially because large-caliber shots from the Defiler are slamming into the building above and behind them.

PATRICIA (narration) Oh no, oh no… Throne help us!

Panel 2 The Plaguemarines and Terminators are firing.


Panel 3 Patricia is ahead of the rest, and this saves her life as fire from the Chaos forces kills Mrs. Testor and the other three girls. [These are bolter shells and heavier things; it’s very ugly.] Shrapnel cuts the back of Patricia’s head and her back, but she keeps moving.

Panel 4 Patricia is seen from behind, running with the crowd, along one of the streets leading away from the waterfront. Her wounds are starting to bleed.

Panel 5 The Chaos forces are lumbering across the waterfront and towards the streets. The Cultists are in the lead, keeping out of the line of fire of their superiors. The Helbrute and Defiler are catching up. The Plaguemarines and Terminators are slower, and thus bringing up the rear.

Panel 6 Seen from the air, five Gunships are flying overhead, but not firing. [Their targets are farther into the city.]

Panel 7 Seen from the side, Patricia is with the crowd, while the aforementioned flyers zoom past at very high speed.

Panel 8 The crowd is splitting up, and Patricia makes a right turn down a side street.

Panel 9 Patricia, back on a major street, looks across the street and sees a trio of MUTILATORS. They’ve just torn apart a Sheriff's Department car. The occupants seem to have fled. One of the Mutilators looks at Patricia, a scowl on its Warp-distorted face. She shrieks, terrified.

PATRICIA Ahhhhhh!!!

Page 6

Panel 1 Patricia makes another turn down a deserted side street.

Panel 2 She stops. Something has caught her eyes.

Panel 3 We see what she sees: an entrance to a subway tunnel. It’s clearly disused (unfinished); there is no name on it, and the entrance is blocked by a metal grille.

Panel 4 Patricia looks around, to see if any threats are approaching.

Panel 5 She approaches the entrance. The grille is bent slightly outward on one side, leaving a small gap. She’s breathing heavily.

PATRICIA [Heavy breathing noises. How does one write that?]

Panel 6 She’s up against the gap in the grille, trying to see if she can fit through.

Panel 7 She’s squeezing through the gap, slowly and gingerly.

Panel 8 She’s mostly through, but the metal rips the flesh of one of her legs and snags her blue jacket.


Panel 9 She’s through, descending into the tunnel, as her jacket falls to the ground outside.

Page 7

Panel 1 Patricia descends the stairs and rounds a corner.

Panel 2 It’s getting darker as she proceeds. There are no functioning lights.

Panel 3 She’s on a station platform. She looks around, tired and scared. There’s no track laid- this system was never completed.

PATRICIA (narration) I always wanted to explore down here, especially since they might decide to finish this thing one day. I never thought that exploring might be like this.

Panel 4 She climbs down onto the track bed.

Panel 5 Up on the surface, a detachment of PDF soldiers are engaged in a firefight with a Chaos Rhino. A PDF COMMAND SQUAD armed with two flamers, a grenade launcher, and a meltagun is riding in a Centaur, along with an NCO, who carries a laspistol and a chainsword. A Scout Sentinel is not far behind them. Its autocannon barrel is smoking, but the Sentinel clearly took a hit from the Havoc launcher on the Rhino’s roof. The Centaur’s passengers are firing all of their weapons (except for the flamers, as they are too far away) from their open-topped vehicle at the Rhino (already damaged by the Sentinel’s autocannon), and the Centaur’s driver and gunner are doing the same with the Centaur’s heavy stubbers. The Rhino has both a combi-flamer and combi-bolter on the roof, but the cultists in the gunners’ hatches are ducking down due to suppressive fire from one of the heavy stubbers and the NCO’s pistol.

Panel 6 The Rhino explodes.


Panel 7 Down underground, the explosion above shakes the tunnel. Patricia, who is well inside the tunnel by now, loses her balance. [Note that it’s almost completely dark down here, and thus all that we can see is what Patricia is feeling. This is for the benefit of the reader. No “Hollywood Darkness.” Thus, her hand shakes, and loses touch with the wall.]

Panel 8 Patricia’s hand reconnects with the wall.

Panel 9 She bumps into a guard rail that blocks two sides of a square maintenance hatch. The hatch is set off from the wall just enough to open, and the opposite side is thus how one would access the hatch to descend.

Page 8

Panel 1 Patricia crouches and feels around, getting an idea as to what she’s found.

Panel 2 She has opened the hatch and is descending the ladder.

Panel 3 Her feet have touched the bottom.

Panel 4 Her hands have found the bottom as well, so she’s sitting on the floor.

Panel 5 It’s completely dark.

PATRICIA Sob Sob Sniff Cough Wheeze

Panel 6 The view is different now. We’re still underground, but in a very different sort of tunnel. This is a natural tunnel, cave-like, not made by anybody. We can see a small area of this tunnel, illuminated by a lantern.

PATRICIA (off-panel, small speech bubble, as she’s off in the distance, and not yet visible.) Sob

Panel 7 Inside the natural tunnel, we can now see a different section, as whoever holds the lantern has continued moving.

PATRICIA (off-panel, larger bubble; she’s not so far now) Cough!

Panel 8 The point-of-view is the same, but the lantern now illuminates a gap in the wall at the end of the tunnel. Patricia is just outside of this gap (which is just large enough for her to hypothetically crawl through), with her back against the adjacent wall. She’s partially illuminated now. Her eyes are shut as she cries, and she reaches around trying to see where she’s bleeding. She’s also a bit of a mess from dust and whatnot.

Panel 9 The lantern is sticking out through the gap and into the space where Patricia is sitting, illuminating about half of her. The lantern is a little less than two feet off the ground, and it’s held by a soft, light-purple hand with three fingers and a thumb.


Page 9

Panel 1 Patricia jumps, eyes wide with surprise.


Panel 2 Patricia has backed up as far as she can (which is very little), looking frightened, while MOKEY FRAGGLE has stepped through the gap and into view.

MOKEY Hey. Hey. It’s all right, silly creature! It’s all right!

Panel 3 Patricia’s body language has settled down somewhat.

PATRICIA S-sill-silly creature?

MOKEY Yeah, you’re one of the Silly Creatures From Outer Space, right?

PATRICIA Outer space? What?

Panel 4 Mokey steps closer, arms outstretched, waving the lantern around and seeing what she can see. Patricia is still against the wall, looking wary.

MOKEY This is Outer Space, right?

PATRICIA No, this is… the subway…

MOKEY Well, never mind that, come down here, if you please. Are you all right?

Panel 5 Patricia kneels down near Mokey. She’s clearly, and for obvious reasons, still very distressed.

PATRICIA No! These people, I guess that they were heretics or something, showed up and started shooting everybody! I think that they killed my friends-

MOKEY Gasp! I don’t know what all of that means, but I can tell that it’s terrible!

PATRICIA I thought that you were a xenos at first.

MOKEY Xenos?

Panel 6 Mokey is now stroking Patricia’s hair and shoulder. Patricia’s eyes are bloodshot, and she looks a little bewildered.

PATRICIA Yeah, from outer sp- Never mind that now. Oh throne, what is going on?!? Who are you, anyway? What are you?

MOKEY I’m Mokey, a Fraggle!

PATRICIA Great. I’m Patricia, a human.

PATRICIA (narration) This was the worst day of my life, and now it’s also the weirdest.

Panel 7 Everything shakes due to another topside explosion. Patricia grits her teeth and Mokey stumbles.

Panel 8 Mokey is looking up at the open hatchway.

MOKEY What was that? A Gorg?

PATRICIA I don’t know what that means. Probably the heretics. I don’t know.

Panel 9 Mokey produces a radish from her robe.


PATRICIA What is that?

MOKEY Why, it’s a radish, silly! Food!

PATRICIA Oh. Thanks, but I’m not hungry.

Page 10

Panel 1 Patricia looks through the gap and into the tunnel from which Mokey came.

PATRICIA You live in there?

MOKEY Yes- well, a long way back there. I was walking for a long time; I went on this route I had never seen before, and I passed through something that felt a little strange and cold in the air, and then I kept walking, and I saw you. I guess I’m a long way from the Rock.


MOKEY Fraggle Rock! Home!

Panel 2 Close-up on Patricia’s pained face.

PATRICIA Home. Throne, I hope they’re OK. Oh please, please.

Panel 3 Patricia is now making the sign of the aquila. Her eyes are closed and her head is bowed. Mokey looks at her curiously.

PATRICIA My Emperor, Savior of Mankind, on the Golden Throne on Holy Terra, please guide and protect my family, my friends, and… everybody in Kensa, wherever humanity is in need.

Panel 4 Patricia is still in the prayer position, and Mokey, doing her best approximation, has joined her.

PATRICIA Protect us from the traitor and heretic, the xenos and all other menaces. My faith is with you. The Emperor Protects.

Panel 5 Patricia is wincing, and is feeling her wounds. Mokey is still in the prayer position, but has one eye opened and trained on Patricia.

PATRICIA I think the bleeding’s stopped. My shirt’s soaked.

Panel 6 Mokey is also out of the prayer position, and is curiously taking a look at Patricia’s back.

MOKEY So who’s the Emperor?


MOKEY Is that like a ruler? I was appointed Ruler of the Rock once. It didn’t go well. I used up my first command within seconds, by accident! The second one was to get a friend off of my tail, and then the third involved a pickle on another friend’s nose!

Panel 7 Patricia turns to look at Mokey.

MOKEY What? That’s what happened. It was a strange day.

Panel 8 Patricia is still looking at Mokey. She has no idea what to say, she’s very sad, and her eyes are still wet.

MOKEY Maybe we should sing. That always helps. I’ll-

Panel 9 Patricia suddenly looks up at the hatch, startled. Mokey has her mouth open like she’s about to sing.

SOUND EFX CRUNCHCRUNCHCLOMPCLOMP PATRICIA (whispered) I should have closed that.

Page 11 Panel 1 Patricia is crawling into the gap in the wall, taking Mokey with her.

PATRICIA (whispered) Kill that light!


Panel 2 Patricia and Mokey are as far into the space behind the gap as Patricia can fit. After just a few feet it is much narrower, only large enough for a creature like a Fraggle to enter.

PATRICIA (whispered) Turn it off! And be quiet!

Panel 3 Mokey is fiddling with the lantern while Patricia scrunches up as far from the gap as she can.

Panel 4 A ten-man squad of Cultists are moving through the tunnel. One of them has a heavy stubber. Several of them have flashlights trained ahead, illuminating most of the tunnel.

Panel 5 One of the flashlight beams settles on the open hatch.

Panel 6 Patricia and Mokey are hiding from the flashlight beam. It’s into the gap, and only falls a few inches short of illuminating Patricia.

Panel 7 It’s pitch dark again.

SOUND EFX (getting smaller as they fade into the distance) CLOMPCRUNCHCLOMPCRUNCHClompCrunchclompcrunch

Panel 8 The panel is completely dark.

PATRICIA (narration) Wait until I think it’s been long enough, and then wait some more.

Panel 9 The lantern is back on, dimly. Patricia and Mokey are hugging.

Page 12

Panel 1 Patricia and Mokey are still in the same space, though their posture has shifted. Mokey is leaned against the side of the tunnel’s entrance, while Patricia is kneeling.

Panel 2 Mokey is nibbling on a radish.

PATRICIA I can’t stay here. I have to get moving.

Panel 3 Mokey looks at her quizzically.

PATRICIA There isn’t any food or water down here. The heretics will probably come back eventually. I have to go up there and find someplace with all of that, with protection, or just keep moving and find my family, get out of town, whatever. I don’t have a choice.

Panel 4

MOKEY Are you sure? You made it sound really… you know, dangerous!

PATRICIA I know, but I have to.

MOKEY We should sing first.

Panel 5 Close up on Patricia. Now she looks bewildered.


MOKEY (off-panel) I love to sing. I think that I should leave you with a song.

Panel 6 View of Mokey from Patricia’s perspective. We thus see Mokey looking up at Patricia, with a happy expression.

MOKEY Of course, I’m not completely sure how it goes yet, but usually it just comes to me!

Panel 7 Patricia has both hands on Mokey’s shoulders [to the extent that she has shoulders!].

PATRICIA That’s very sweet of you. You’re very kind. But…


PATRICIA I don’t think that we have time for that. Things are moving pretty quickly out there, probably.

MOKEY sigh

Panel 8 They’re hugging again.

PATRICIA Thank you so much. Take care of yourself. It’s a good idea not to come out here. Make sure that your friends know.

MOKEY I will. And good luck, and safe travels.

PATRICIA Thank you.

Panel 9 [If it’s possible to draw this so we can see both Mokey’s wan expression and Patricia ascending the rungs into the darkness, that’s ideal. If not, just depict Patricia ascending from Mokey’s viewpoint.]

Page 13

Panel 1 We’re looking at another entrance to the subway tunnels. This one is a pair of large metal industrial doors that have been blasted open. They open up into a vacant lot, with a dirt path, overgrown foliage, etc.

Panel 2 Close-up on the doors. Patricia cautiously peeks through the gap.

Panel 3 The view is still facing Patricia, but from farther back. She has crept out into the vacant lot, and is staying close to the adjacent wall.

Panel 4 This panel takes up half of the middle row. We can see over Patricia’s shoulder. Some distance away, over various buildings and such, a smoke cloud billows, with a fire/explosion just barely reaching over some of the roofs.

PATRICIA (narration) I thought that it would be like this. The PDF barracks are over there…

Panel 5 This panel takes up the other half of the row. [Perhaps it would be ideal to show this from above, but at an angle.] A pitched battle is underway at the PDF barracks. It’s a compound/campus of 2.5-3 city blocks width and length, and is very dense in places, with some open spaces like a drill field, parking facilities, etc. Several buildings have been destroyed or heavily damaged, and fires are burning. The attackers are hitting the base from all directions. The Helbrute we saw earlier has penetrated past the perimeter, and five Terminators surrounding the Chaos Lord are trudging along behind it. On another side, a Maulerfiend left a trail of devastation (buildings, a Chimera, numerous PDF troops) behind as it plowed through the base before being brought down. Several squads of Cultists have taken positions behind the various spots of wreckage. On the third side, the Defiler and three Obliterators are shooting their way through into the motor pool garages, and the Defiler is extending one claw towards the nearest building. On the fourth side, a pair of Rhinos are blazing away with their combi bolters, while their disembarked passengers (fifteen Cultists) are doing the same thing. All of them are providing covering fire for five Khorne Berzerkers, who are sprinting into the fray, chainaxes and chainswords ready to strike.

As for the defenders, many of them are firing from the windows [show the muzzle flashes and lasbeams], while others are on the rooftops, and a few are in cover on the ground. They have the usual mix of Imperial Guard infantry weapons. We can see a pair of battle tanks of local manufacture; one helped to destroy the Maulerfiend while the other is trying to get in position to engage the Defiler. A Chimera and a Centaur have been knocked out trying to exit the motor pool and engage the Defiler and Obliterators, but an undamaged Hellhound is behind them, about to open fire. A pair of Centaurs are crossing the campus, intending to reinforce the defenders on other sides.

Panel 6 This panel takes up half of the bottom row. Patricia is looking in the opposite direction, past the subway entrance. The tall spire of the Arbites Precinct-Fortress is damaged, and thick smoke is pouring out.

PATRICIA (narration) They’re going after the Precinct-Fortress...

Panel 7 This panel takes up the other half of the bottom row. A knocked-out Repressor is blocking most of the exit to the Precinct-Fortress’s garage, and a mob of Cultists and an Ogryn Brute are engaged in a wild melee with a squad or two of Arbites in riot gear (storm shields and power mauls), accompanied by Cyber-mastiffs. Meanwhile, a Rhino with a Havoc launcher is firing at the building itself, as are four Chaos Bikers, who are shooting with the special weapons they carry (plasma and melta) as they zip back and forth. More Arbites are firing at them from the lower floors of the building, and a couple others are taking cover behind the wreckage of the Repressor.

Page 14

Panel 1 As before, this panel takes up half of the top row. Patricia has left the vacant lot and is walking along a district of warehouses and one-story buildings. It’s completely deserted.

PATRICIA (narration) They’re probably hitting the Sheriff’s HQ also.

Panel 2 This panel takes up the second half of the top row. A Forgefiend and a Predator tank are blazing away at the Sheriff’s HQ building. They’re leveling the place; it’s a brick building not designed with this sort of thing in mind.

Panel 3 Patricia is walking, keeping to the shadows of the buildings, looking all around.

PATRICIA (narration) That means the heretics are busy, everybody else is either hiding or fleeing, and I can find my family, or find a safe place, or get out of town.

Panel 4 Patricia turns at a corner.

Panel 5 From over Patricia’s shoulder, we can see that she has turned onto a street that’s got more businesses and the like, that would usually be fairly busy depending on the time of day. Patricia has stopped in her tracks because the area is littered with corpses, destroyed civilian vehicles, and general wreckage.


Panel 6 Patricia jogs across a gap between buildings, towards a small shop.

Panel 7 Patricia is inside the shop; it looks like the equivalent of what we’d call a convenience store/cornershop/etc. It’s deserted. It isn’t particularly damaged; although some merchandise is strewn about, and a display or two have fallen over. She has gathered two bottles of water and some packaged snacks/fruit/whatever, and is placing them in her bag.

Panel 8 Patricia is at a cross-street, looking around the corner of a building. We can see past her, as she looks at a park. Smoke is rising from some of the foliage, as well as a couple of tents. It looks like homeless/itinerant people had gathered there, and several of them lie dead in the park. A squad of seven Plaguemarines are lumbering away from the park and in the general direction of Patricia.

Page 15

Panel 1 Rather than cross the street ahead and possibly get shot by the Plaguemarines, Patricia crosses the street she is currently on, and enters an alley that runs parallel to the cross-street. [This might look good from a top-down-perspective.]

Panel 2 We see Patricia moving along the alley behind some fairly dense houses/flats, but the perspective is from a window in one of these buildings.

Panel 3 Patricia stops in her tracks and whirls around as she hears the WOMAN IN THE WINDOW.

WOMAN IN THE WINDOW (off-panel) Hey! Hey kid!

Panel 4 Patricia is looking up at the third-floor window from which the woman is calling her, as the woman looks down at her.

WOMAN IN THE WINDOW What are you doing?!? Get inside! Here, I’ll let you in...

PATRICIA No thanks. I have to keep moving.


Panel 5 Close-up on Patricia. She looks like she doesn’t believe her own words. [Whatever that looks like!]

PATRICIA Sorry, good luck, and For the Emperor.

Panel 6 Patricia is walking away. She looks determined. The Woman in the Window is calling after her, agitated.


VOICE FROM ANOTHER WINDOW Stop yelling, you dingbat! You’re going to get us all killed!


Panel 7 Patricia turns a corner.

PATRICIA (narration) I want to say “A Girl Guide Doesn’t Cower!”, but yeah, I’m probably just crazy.

Panel 8 As Patricia leaves the alleys and approaches a street, she sees two civilian trucks headed her way. They’re full of FRATERIS MILITIA, with a MINISTORUM PRIEST in the first truck. The occupants are armed to the teeth, if haphazardly. One has a flamer, another has a heavy stubber, the rest have lasguns/laspistols/shotguns, and everyone has some sort of melee weapon. The Priest has a plasma pistol and a chainsword.

PATRICIA (narration) It’s about time.

Panel 9 The trucks have stopped in front of her. Patricia speaks to the priest, pointing in the direction that the trucks are already headed.

PATRICIA I saw a group of big green things in armor by Haskins Park!

PRIEST Thank you… and for the love of the Golden Throne, where are you going? Never mind; there’s a Sheriff station behind that big red hab-block back there. Go there; they’ll protect you.

PATRICIA Yes, yes sir.

Page 16

Panel 1 [This panel takes up the first row of the page.] The Sheriff station is, like the HQ building seen earlier, not really a fortress. It’s a nondescript two-story rectangular building, very bureaucratic/institutional. A flagpole is out front, flying a banner with the Aquila, while the relevant local logos are on the building itself. A couple of DEPUTIES with shotguns are visible on the roof, while others are looking out of a couple of the windows. One is holding the door open for Patricia as she approaches. No vehicles are in sight.

Panel 2 Patricia is just inside the front door, and steps out of the way of two deputies (armed with stub pistols, nothing else) who are maneuvering a metal cabinet in front of a window. There’s a partial barricade constructed, and this cabinet will more-or-less fill it.

Panel 3 The deputies have set the cabinet in position, and have turned toward Patricia, making eye contact with her. It’s an unimpressive barricade, and Patricia looks unimpressed.

DEPUTY 1 Girl Guides, eh? You shoot sometimes, right? Targets and stuff?

PATRICIA Um, I guess a couple of times…

DEPUTY 1 Come with us.

Panel 4 Patricia follows the two deputies up the stairs, while another deputy descends.

PATRICIA Are there any other people here besides you guys? I mean, non-Sheriff people?

DEPUTY 1 A few. We’ve put them to work.

PATRICIA (narration) Lots of people don’t feel safe around the police. I think that now I’m one of them.

Panel 5 Patricia is on the second floor, in a simple hallway with doors leading to offices and such. Deputy 1 beckons her into one such doorway.

Panel 6 Inside what looks like a closet-sized armory, Deputy 1 is showing Patricia a stub revolver.

DEPUTY 1 Here’s the safety, and here’s how you open it to clear the cylinder and reload. Put it in your bag, and go see Deputy Bertranz in the second door around the corner; she’ll tell you what to do next. And can get you some bandages for all of… that.

Panel 7 Only the heel of Deputy 1’s shoe is visible as he leaves the room and makes a quick turn. Patricia looks exasperated.

PATRICIA (narration) Listen to your priests, they tell me. They know what’s best, they say.

Page 17

Panel 1 [This panel takes up 2/3 of the top row.] A Land Raider is rumbling down a street. This one is unmistakably Khorneate: it’s blood red, has the appropriate symbols, and has plenty of spikes and skulls. [I don’t care what it’s armed with, as long as there is no Havoc launcher. There is some room on the roof.] Debris lies in its wake.

Panel 2 [This fills the rest of the top row.] Patricia is in the hallway, with dressings covering her wounds. She’s helping Deputy 2 carry a table through a doorway. He’s in the lead.

PATRICIA (narration) I should have kept moving. This was a mistake. I can’t leave now, can I?

Panel 3 The Land Raider is now on the same street as the Sheriff station, a couple of blocks away.

Panel 4 Patricia is in the same place as before, but now the whole place is rumbling.

DEPUTY 2 What is that?

PATRICIA It’s not just my nerves!

Panel 5 On the rooftop, one of the Deputies is crouching in the corner with his shotgun and several of what we would call Molotov cocktails [in-universe, I suppose that they would be called prometheum bombs]. The other is shouting down the stairs that lead to and from the roof.

DEPUTY AT ROOF ACCESS It’s a tank the size of… it’s just huge! Get somebody else up here! Get in position!

Panel 6 Back inside, Patricia is flat against the wall as a Deputy runs past carrying what looks like a grenade launcher [of the one-shot-at-a-time variety]. Other Deputies and civilians are running to and fro. Deputy 2 is inside the room.

PATRICIA You have grenades?

DEPUTY 2 Stun grenades.

Panel 7 On the roof, four Deputies are firing their shotguns at the approaching Land Raider. It’s on the same block now.

DEPUTY ON ROOF For the Emperor!

Panel 8 Deputy 2 is climbing over the table, out of the room and towards Patricia.

DEPUTY 2 Take that window! Shoot at the vision slits! I’m going next door!

Page 18

Panel 1 The Land Raider opens fire, with its guns in the sponson that faces the building blasting a huge hole through the ground floor’s wall like it were paper, as the combi bolter (manned by a Khorne Berzerker) on the vehicle’s roof rakes the Deputies on top of the building along with the second storey windows.

BERZERKER AT COMBI BOLTER Blood for the Blood God! Skulls for the Skull Throne!

Panel 2 Patricia stumbles to the floor, shaken by the impact below her.

Panel 3 The Land Raider plows into the building while still moving in the same direction. In other words, half of the vehicle is tearing through/across the building’s facade. The gunner who was manning the combi bolter is ducking back down the hatch.

Panel 4 [This is a full-row panel] Inside Patricia’s room, the exterior wall falls away, the ceiling is collapsing, and the floor buckles, sloping downwards towards the outside. Patricia is tumbling out of the building.

Panel 5 It’s a short drop, given the Land Raider’s height (the vehicle is just under one storey tall), but Patricia’s landing on the vehicle’s roof is a hard one all the same.

Panel 6 Patricia is covered in bricks, dust, glass, and debris.

Panel 7 The Land Raider continues onward, leaving a half-demolished building behind it. Bodies are sprawled outside of the building, some obscured by rubble, others simply lying on the grass. One has been flattened by the treads. One Deputy is on his knees holding his head, while another Deputy and a civilian have run outside.

PATRICIA Unnnhhhh…

Page 19

Panel 1 Atop the Land Raider, Patricia is motionless.

Panel 2 She starts to weakly brush the bricks off of herself.

Panel 3 We can see that the Land Raider is moving along a commercial thoroughfare, with residential areas (hab-blocks, houses of different sorts, etc.) on the surrounding streets. [I think that either a top-down or angled view would work best.]

Panel 4 Close-up of a brick falling onto the roof of the Land Raider.


Panel 5 Inside the Land Raider, the Berzerkers in the troop compartment are glancing up at the ceiling and at one another.

Panel 6 One Berzerker, BROTHER DENTAS, starts to ascend the ladder leading to the roof hatch.

Panel 7 Close-up on the hatch as it opens. [These next few panels all take place in a matter of seconds.]

Panel 8 Patricia raises her head and looks ahead of her.

Panel 9 The Berzerker’s helmet is halfway out of the hatch.

Page 20

Panel 1 Patricia’s hand is reaching for her bag.

PATRICIA (narration) Emperor, guide my hand.

Panel 2 The Berzerker’s head and shoulders are out of the hatch, and he’s starting to turn around as he rises.

Panel 3 Patricia’s hand has found the pistol.

PATRICIA (narration) Emperor, give me strength.

Panel 4 The Berzerker is almost entirely turned around, and his arm [either one] is out of the hatch, with his hand holding the shaft of a chainaxe.

Panel 5 Patricia’s hand holds the pistol, and her thumb is on the safety.

PATRICIA (narration) From the Golden Throne on Holy Terra, help me smite the heretic.

Panel 6 The Berzerker has raised his chainaxe. He can hit her from where he stands. Note that his feet and part of his shins are still barely inside the vehicle, but it’s palpable just how enormous he is.

Panel 7 Patricia squeezes the trigger.

PATRICIA (narration) For the Emperor!

Panel 8 The bullet flies straight at one of the lenses in the Berzerker’s helmet.

Panel 9 The bullet pierces the lens, and the Berzerker’s head jerks backward. [A stub round wouldn’t go completely through a Space Marine’s head and out the other side, thus the impact would push the head backward, not forward.]

Page 21

Panel 1 Close-up on Patricia. Her jaw is dropped, and her eyes are wide.


Panel 2 Patricia hurriedly crawls towards the rear of the Land Raider.

Panel 3 Patricia is climbing down the back of the vehicle, between the exhaust pipes. We can see that as she reaches the chain that hangs across the lower portion of the rear, she’s no longer very far off of the ground.

Panel 4 Inside the Land Raider, all eyes are on the gunner. He’s still partway inside the vehicle and partway out, and his feet are still on the ladder, but his knees have buckled and he’s not moving. The BERZERKER CHAMPION is standing close to him.

BERZERKER CHAMPION Brother Dentas, what has happened? Dentas, are you wounded?

Panel 5 Patricia has stepped off of the Land Raider’s back, and tried to run with the momentum. This was impossible, and she’s tumbling towards the pavement.

Panel 6 Still inside the Land Raider, the view encompasses both the Berzerker Champion and the LAND RAIDER DRIVER.

BERZERKER CHAMPION Are we under fire? Auspex shows but one life form to our rear-

LAND RAIDER DRIVER Confirmed. Any other life forms are not in threatening positions.

BERZERKER CHAMPION Halt, ramp down! Blood demands blood!

Panel 7 In the foreground, Patricia is moving as fast as she can towards the buildings on the side of the street. Her bag is gone, her uniform is ripped apart in several places, her hands and knees have serious road rash, and a big scrape on her forehead is bleeding. In the background, the Land Raider has stopped, the ramp at the front is down [if you can get all of this in the same frame], and one of the Berzerkers has already rounded the far side of the vehicle, while four others can be seen on the near side, running in Patricia’s direction. One other is just stepping off of the ramp.

PATRICIA (narration) Getting dizzy...

Panel 8 Patricia is about three steps into a very narrow alley/walkway between two buildings. One Berzerker has reached the entrance to the walkway [they are that fast!] - and promptly gotten wedged between the buildings’ walls [their shoulders, with the armor and pauldrons, are just that wide!]. His shoulders have gouged divots into the walls, and his downward chop with his chainsword has scraped against a wall and missed Patricia.

Panel 9 That Berzerker is withdrawing from the walkway. The Champion is right behind him, and another Berzerker is pointing at the alley between an adjacent pair of buildings.

POINTING BERZERKER Through here! The gap is ample!

BERZERKER CHAMPION No, we haven’t the time, and the Raider is sitting open and still. There will be plenty of time for such impudent Loyalist scum once all primary and secondary targets are neutralized.

Page 22

Panel 1 Patricia staggers into a leafier, residential zone. She’s winded and hurt, but can’t stop moving.

Panel 2 Patricia sees a house across the street and off to one side, with a van under an overhang. [Like all of the civilian vehicles, this one has a cyberpunk style, but make sure that this one is rather weathered and used.] A middle-aged woman (BEKAH) is helping a man of about the same age (BUCK) into the rearmost row of seats, as he seems to be somewhat infirm. A young boy (FLETCH) is in the front passenger seat, and other passengers are obscured by Bekah and Buck. [Indistinguishable heads behind tinted windows, some visible limbs, etc. The van is full.]

Panel 3 Patricia crosses the street and walks gingerly towards the van. Fletch notices.

FLETCH Mama, a girl is coming.

Panel 4 Patricia is getting close to the van. Bekah has turned to face her. Fletch is staring at her as well.

PATRICIA Hey. If you’re leaving… wheeze… go now, they’re gulp not far. Pantpant

BEKAH Of course! Get in! Fletch, ride in the cargo compartment, and find something in the bags, rags or something, for her face! The first aid kit is back there!

Panel 5 [This view is at an angle, so that we can see the van in the foreground and part of the wider city in the background.] Fletch has opened the door and is running to the back of the van; Patricia is climbing into the passenger seat; and Bekah is scurrying around the front of the van, headed for the driver’s seat. Off in the distance, in another portion of the city, something very large explodes.


Panel 6 Bekah and Patricia are in the front seats, with Patricia in the foreground. She looks shell-shocked. Bekah has her hands at the controls.

BEKAH You need more than first aid, but we’ll start there. Ready to join my tribe of misfits?


Panel 7 [This panel takes up 1/3 of the bottom row.] Patricia has buried her face in her hands; she’s weeping.

Panel 8 [This panel fills the rest of the bottom row.] As dusk falls, the van is moving. We can see that elsewhere in the city fires are burning, battles are raging, and things are exploding.

BEKAH (off panel/from inside van) I’ll take that as a “yes.”


Got Comments? Discuss This Page in the Forums. Click Here.


Share on Facebook