I got these off the web Enjoy! ^^
1.) Instead of rolling the dice to see what number you get, roll them at enemy units and if you hit one, cheer and claim you killed it.
2.) Remove both sides’ casualties with a paintball gun.
3.) Start crying & trying to resuscitate any of your models that die. Then place them back on the table and say that they were saved.
4.) Wear a giant sombrero to the game.
5.) Say one of your weak units kills a powerful character. Pick the model up off the table, yell "IN YOUR FACE!" and run victory laps around your gaming area.
6.) Turn 2: Take every single one of your models off the board. Put them up. Leave. Don't come back. Never say a word while doing this.
7.) Whenever your opponent declares an assault against you, yell "I'M NOT LISTENING TO YOU! I CAN'T HEAR YOU! LLAALAALAALAALAAAAA!" Run around in a circle with your hands over your ears while you're yelling this.
8.) Convert some Tau to ride Space Marine bikes. Put other random conversions using vehicles/bikes/ heavy weapons from other armies. When questioned about these, yell "BECAUSE I CAN!!!" Then lapse into an uncomfortable silence for the next 5 minutes.
9.) Whenever your opponent says anything, repeat it back to him, only say "YOUR MOM(does whatever he said)"
10.) Every time your opponent fails to wound you, or you make an armor save, do the little bullet-bounces-off-me thing with your finger, and yell "PING!" or "KAPWING!"
11.) Pretend to move troops that arent really there, and say they're stealth suits.
12.) In the middle of a battle, tip the table over and say that it's an earthquake.
13.) Whenever a drone or a vehicle or something similar gets destroyed, put it back on, saying it got repaired on its warranty.
14.) Have a friend stand around during the game. He whispers in your ear before every move and every shot. Your opponent wont know who he is playing against.
15.) Play tyranids. Then almost all the time, especially when he's concentrating on his next move, just stare at him and mumble "must..........feed........grrrrrr" in a tyranid-similar voice. Then lick your mouth and maybe search through your bag in a savage manner for a beef jerky and start tearing the jerky with your teeth and stare at your opponent.
16.) Bring a hammer and set it on the table. If your opponent asks, say it’s your back-up plan
17.) Before the battle starts, set a HUGE box of Kleenex next to him and look at him and tell him in a sad voice "Trust me after this is over, you will need these". And if he says anything about that, pull a pack of Depends out of your bag, slap them on the table and say " Oh yeah, sorry, you'll need these too."
18.) Hold individual 5-minute prayer services for each casualty. For Shas'os or Shas'els make the services 10 minutes.
19.) Hire someone to chuck dice at your opponent's models.
20.) Remove both sides’ casualties with a paintball gun.
21.) Scream that your opponent is cheating by reading your psychic aura and demand he be blindfolded for the remainder of the game.
22.) Scream that your opponent is cheating by reading your psychic aura and demand he be blindfolded for the remainder of the game.
23.) Speak completely in Orkish.
24.) Paint "just married" on the back of one of your tanks... (Not annoying, but pretty dang funny.)
25.) Take at least a minute for every die roll, and claim it’s for good luck
26.) Bring a CD player and some really annoying CDs
27.) Place firecrackers on some cheap Kroot and claim they are suicide bombers. Send them up to your enemy's men then light them up, hopefully damaging a few of his models with molten plastic.
28.)Attempt to bribe your opponent's characters. Turn away quickly if your opponent looks at you questioningly. Deny everything.
29.) Pour a bucket of water on the table. Look down on your miniatures and yell, "sink or swim, you lazy b****rds !"
30.) While playing Cities of Death or City fight, Charge him a parking ticket for his Rhino (Devil Fish, Monolith, jet bike, Fire Prism etc.)
31.) Make him draw a pentagram, chant and sprinkle incense before you let him place his Greater Daemon.
32.) If asked to guess a range, guess in nanometres. Measure it out on your specially designed tape.
33.) Stand on the board. If he says anything, explain that your army has transcended this world and has risen to the spiritual plane. Explain that you are their physical medium and must fight on their behalf. Look down at his army and laugh.
34.) Write a ballad about the battle.
35.) Bring a 600 page bound book with big letters on the front "40K FAQ". Lay it on the ground facing England and worship it. Prop up a little framed picture of Rick Priestley (Creator of 40K) next to it. Demand your opponent join you in a prayer small prayer session to Him.
36.) Bring a hand puppet. Question it constantly as to what is the best course of action.
37.) Bring a falsified rulebook ( hours of fun ).
38.) Before the game, do a little dance and motion to the gods. Curse your opponent dramatically.
40.) Arrive before your opponent. Set up your army and then take the other side of the table. Act as if you are expecting to play with your opponent's army.
41.) Play dead if your general dies.
42.) Wear a crown. Say that you are the "Lord of the Galaxy". Get a horde of admirers to cheer you on.
43.) Grow a Hitler moustache and wear a swastika. 'Discipline' your troops if they fail to salute you
44.) When your tank, bike, speeder, etc. is killed, put one that you are not using where it was and say your insurance replaced it.
45.) When someone dies, scream into the air, " HE WAS SO YOUNG!"
46.) If you face a girl, say, " you wanna see my power sword?"
47.) When facing tyranids, start pouring holy water around the table
48.) Paint your captain like Chuck Norris. Say you won by default because you can't kill Chuck Norris.
49.) Place dozens of empty bases on the field, with nothing to identify what is what. then start into a long explanation of how each base has subtle marks that let you know what they were supposed to be.
50.) Insist on referring to your opponents Sisters of Battle as, "Bolter Bitches."
51.) Insist that all distance and LoS checks during the shooting phase be made with a laser range-finder. If your opponent protests, threaten to range-find his retinas.
52.) Preface any movement or attack by giving your units vocal orders and addressing them by name. All of them. For bonus points, do this with an Ork or Tyranid army.
53.) Bring a track of the first ten seconds of Queen's "Another One Bites the Dust." Play it after any unit is killed or destroyed. Every. Single. Time. For bonus points, attend a tournament and insist on pausing your own game frequently to offer this service to other tables.
54.) pour water on the table with a turbo fan blowing on the board, and whatever is knocked over is a casualty. call this a hurricane.
55.)drop a big rock on your opponents troops, and crush all of them. call it an asteroid hitting the planet.
56.) if there is a casualty, place the model back up and say that god chose him to live.
57.) at the start of a game, place a fake gecko on the table. say that you have Geico, and that Geico covers life and all vehicle insurance.
58.)after any casualties occur, make all of your men appear in one place on the board, and say that no one can attack a funeral, that would just be wrong.
