15554
Post by: Osyr
Think of nonstandard ways to take down a titan. Lets see who comes up with best one.
Put Lukas on it so when he dies it goes with him. Drive a warbike into the cockpit. Aim a sniper at the window. Recite the litany of badarse. Some landspeeders with tow cables...
15667
Post by: Emperors Faithful
Let Shadowbrand drive it. *rolls eyes*
Paint a bulls-eye on the vital areas.
Divert power from the shields to make an extra hot cup of cocoa.
Have a Titan race.
Have a Titan dance contest. (would pay to see this  )
21086
Post by: Harms66
What about a simple banana, now that would be one slap stick (slip) moment
4010
Post by: Delephont
1. Poison the amniotic(/) fluids sustaining the the Princeps....massive trauma to him and the Titan system....very least, it will stop moving!
21202
Post by: Commander Endova
Have it step on two Baneblades and have it do the wacky rollerskate shuffle.
23448
Post by: bellumdominus
What if two stompas tabletop the titan. Ork lols
20650
Post by: Pyriel-
Landslide!
18521
Post by: Ecurb The Mighty
Red heat seeking turtle shells from Super Mario Kart.
Cause massive explosion after trying to use Volcano cannon to make some bitchin popcorn.
Have Snorlax use Hyper Beam
14233
Post by: Dakkadood
A simple explosion in the "knee" area, ANY damage will result in the rest of the machine collapsing.
19366
Post by: Grimm
Have a mob of boys climb up a warhound. They all take a wizz on all the joints. It rusts and then collapses.
20700
Post by: IvanTih
A 3 year old kid with a boot.
9711
Post by: Morgrim
Wait until it isn't in battle. Get magnetic knee and hand pads. Climb up the side of the titan's leg. Plant time delayed limpet mines. Climb down, go up the other leg. Repeat. Sneak off somewhere safe, and watch the other members of the titan legion try to figure out what in the Emperor's name happened when the titan suddenly topples backwards as its knees give way.
6454
Post by: Cryonicleech
With a group of people, gather 'round the Titan's legs. With large amounts of wire, tie the Titan's "shoes" together. Run like hell, and enjoy.
22053
Post by: ComputerGeek01
Tell the Administratum that some part in one of the guns isn't accounted for. Sit back and laugh as they strip the titan down piece by piece in the middle of a war zone to find out which one it could be.
15471
Post by: Majesticgoat
Alpha level psyker.
21202
Post by: Commander Endova
Have C.S. Goto kill it with MULTILAZORS!
Or have Dan Abnett name it, establish its character, (perhaps utilizing a particularly intelligent and likable machine spirit) and then kill it off in the last 50 pages by some unskilled non-combatant with mediocre weaponry.
11511
Post by: theocd
One Guardsman walking through the Titan bay on a security patrol falls over a spanner, when he falls over his lasgun discharges whose bolt then hits a mirror, gets magnified 100000000 times and reflected back onto the Titan, blowing the Plasma Blastgun off which shatters on the floor and explodes destroying the nearby fuel and ammunition store that cooks off the enitre depot.
What was left of the Guardsman was executed for negligence by the nearest Commissar.
The OC-D
15266
Post by: cheesesteak
My personal favorite is wazdakka's way of killing a titan. Take your bike on a cliff drive down it as fast as possible and fly right into the cock pit of the titan and slaughter there crew and put there skulls on the back of your bike as trophy's. That's how i would do it
17210
Post by: vodo40k
Just drive up a fast truck, plant a bomb on one leg then drive off. The bigger they are the harder they fall.
15471
Post by: Majesticgoat
Commander Endova wrote:Or have Dan Abnett name it, establish its character, (perhaps utilizing a particularly intelligent and likable machine spirit) and then kill it off in the last 50 pages by some unskilled non-combatant with mediocre weaponry.
Oh zingggg! There is much of a hate on for this guy. I am scared to read the Horus Heresy books now...
18567
Post by: CadianXV
Tie a massive wire between two mountains to trip it up!
1099
Post by: Railguns
Tis better to be hated for having a good character die than to be hated for multilazors.
I wonder if, in an urban battlezone, a crane with a large wrecking ball on the end could pretend to be derelict, and when a Titan passes by, swing around and hit it in the back, knocking it over.
21202
Post by: Commander Endova
LOL. If it matters to anyone, I'm not an Abnett hater. I just made the burn because it was easy.
21903
Post by: TheRavenWolf
Kick in the groin from another titan 
21946
Post by: ZacktheChaosChild
30 Necron warriors.
18080
Post by: Anpu42
I Choose
1
20646
Post by: IronChaos
Take a spanner and un-build it.
11539
Post by: waaagh!orksrocks
Take 1 imperial citizen and build a pit big enough for one of the titans feet upto the ankle, then cover it with leaves/debris/other thing you would expect to see on the ground. When the titan steps in it give the citizen a stick a send him inside to beat everyone up, then take some of your finest warriors and crew the titan. Finally blow the other titans head off. repeat as many times as are needed.
18080
Post by: Anpu42
Stupid Dumb Luck and Calgar
1
7103
Post by: sniperjolly
Honestly happened. In 4th Ed, you could tank shock walkers, right? If the walker coulden't stun, destroy or immobilize it, the walker was crushed under the treads "utterly annihilated".
My Leman Russ Demolisher, after having lost its demo cannon, and being under the void sheild decided to push the titan into <12" range of my big guns. The titan, I forgot, has S 10 and rolls 2d6 for penitrating, and decided that it would simply death or glory it into the dust. It rolled a 3. Now weaponless, the valiant tank apparently drives straight up the walker's leg and crushes it.
Good times.
20700
Post by: IvanTih
Throw enough guardsmen at it until they form a mountain which collapses on the titan and crushes him. 
22761
Post by: Kurgash
1 million ewoks with a long jungle vine
15667
Post by: Emperors Faithful
ComputerGeek01 wrote:Tell the Administratum that some part in one of the guns isn't accounted for. Sit back and laugh as they strip the titan down piece by piece in the middle of a war zone to find out which one it could be.
This. (Becuase it's true)
Kurgash wrote:1 million ewoks with a long jungle vine
And this.
Automatically Appended Next Post: IvanTih wrote:Throw enough guardsmen at it until they form a mountain which collapses on the titan and crushes him.
How is that unconventional? 
We do it all the time.
16953
Post by: Thelaugher
Give Ghazghkull Thraka tankbusting lessons
21611
Post by: Ronin-Sage
Pray that the princeps is a male and concentrate all firepower on where the naval region would be...
22761
Post by: Kurgash
A tide of snotlings from one horizon to the next.
23446
Post by: Rewision
Posted in wrong thread (damn tabs)
10054
Post by: Death Gear
send as many orks as is needed to run in all the joints till it jams then invade killing the crew
18080
Post by: Anpu42
Kurgash wrote:1 million ewoks with a long jungle vine
1
21841
Post by: despoiler52
Tell Ravenor that his arch nemisis is hiding out somwere in the titan, or eisenhorn, both work.
22766
Post by: Kveldulv
Give the keys to your son and tell him to be careful with it.
18080
Post by: Anpu42
The Metga-Lith
1
21392
Post by: Cambak
An unsupervised kid in a hobby shop.
Works like a charm
20700
Post by: IvanTih
Ram a cruiser into it.
21312
Post by: BeRzErKeR
Tell Commissar Fuklaw that it's heresy.
15667
Post by: Emperors Faithful
BeRzErKeR wrote:Tell Commissar Fuklaw that it's heresy.
Attempting to trick a Commissar?!? 
21392
Post by: Cambak
Emperors Faithful wrote:BeRzErKeR wrote:Tell Commissar Fuklaw that it's heresy.
Attempting to trick a Commissar?!?
But.... But sir.... its a Chaos Warhound!
13189
Post by: The Watcher
tow cables + Land Speeders + impossibly snow covered planet = games Workshop RECEIVING a Cease and Desist for a change.
15667
Post by: Emperors Faithful
@Cambak: Oh. Very well. Carry on, Guardsmen. *Holsters Pistol*
@The Watcher: LOL
19762
Post by: elegost
tell a Commissar that it was thinking "traitorous" thoughts...
19605
Post by: Slappywag
To take down a Titan, get a women to emasculate it with incessant nagging.
21392
Post by: Cambak
Emperors Faithful wrote:@Cambak: Oh. Very well. Carry on, Guardsmen. *Holsters Pistol*
@The Watcher: LOL
YAY!
procceeds to clime said Choas titan, breaking open an eye slit, and unleashing an inferno from his heavy flamer
Suisidal? yes. For the Emperor? Double Yes.
13523
Post by: oggers
Escape from the prisoner of war camp, tie a wire across the road and jump into the bushes. Wait until the titan comes by on a motor bike and watch as it falls off.
9711
Post by: Morgrim
Emperors Faithful wrote:@Cambak: Oh. Very well. Carry on, Guardsmen. *Holsters Pistol*
@The Watcher: LOL
Be thankful he gives a second or two for explanation, most would have shot instantly and noticed it was a chaos titan afterwards.
20738
Post by: The Acolyte
Have a titan boxing match
13189
Post by: The Watcher
Thanks for the quote, E.F. but seriously, a REALLY big hole covered up to look like the rest of the field. so simple that it would be unexpected. Then, just to be sure, i'd drop an anvil on it. a REALLY big Anvil.
21392
Post by: Cambak
Morgrim wrote:Emperors Faithful wrote:@Cambak: Oh. Very well. Carry on, Guardsmen. *Holsters Pistol*
@The Watcher: LOL
Be thankful he gives a second or two for explanation, most would have shot instantly and noticed it was a chaos titan afterwards.
Please, everyone knows Im be best Flame Trooper in the Imperium. 
readies his heavy flamer
But you sir. You sound like a heritic that needs a burnin. Automatically Appended Next Post: Morgrim wrote:Emperors Faithful wrote:@Cambak: Oh. Very well. Carry on, Guardsmen. *Holsters Pistol*
@The Watcher: LOL
Be thankful he gives a second or two for explanation, most would have shot instantly and noticed it was a chaos titan afterwards.
Please, everyone knows Im the best flame trooper in the Imperium.
readies heavy flamer
But you sir. You sound like a heritic that needs a burnin.
20700
Post by: IvanTih
Use the luck.
9711
Post by: Morgrim
Morgrim wrote:
Please, everyone knows Im the best flame trooper in the Imperium.
readies heavy flamer
But you sir. You sound like a heritic that needs a burnin.
1) Oh, I've never denied that I'm enough of a heretic to turn tail and run at the first sign of an Inquisitor that is about to catch me, because I'd die a rather nasty death. And to taunt one that isn't, because it is fun and I might be able to provoke them into a situation that they fall or die a nasty death themselves (I'm sure the haemonculi could show them a thing or two about torture, they have had at least as much experience and are fair better at keeping their toys alive).
2) *points to the part of sig stating that I am female*
*skips out of flamer range, laughing*
15667
Post by: Emperors Faithful
Morgrim wrote:Morgrim wrote:
Please, everyone knows Im the best flame trooper in the Imperium.
readies heavy flamer
But you sir. You sound like a heritic that needs a burnin.
1) Oh, I've never denied that I'm enough of a heretic to turn tail and run at the first sign of an Inquisitor that is about to catch me, because I'd die a rather nasty death. And to taunt one that isn't, because it is fun and I might be able to provoke them into a situation that they fall or die a nasty death themselves (I'm sure the haemonculi could show them a thing or two about torture, they have had at least as much experience and are fair better at keeping their toys alive).
2) *points to the part of sig stating that I am female*
*skips out of flamer range, laughing*
A heretic...AND a female?
...No. It can't be...
CULTIST-CHAN?!?
11539
Post by: waaagh!orksrocks
The Watcher wrote: a REALLY big hole covered up to look like the rest of the field. so simple that it would be unexpected.
HEY, don't steal my ideas. Although you can keep the anvil.
9711
Post by: Morgrim
@EF: No. Just... no. *shudders* I do not talk like that and cannot stand people who talk like that. *shudders some more*
Has anyone suggested using a certain ork gun to transport insane snotlings through the warp and into the cabin?
13250
Post by: Lord of battles
have a rag-tag team of squat misfits sneak in to the titans cabins and take control of the titan before it trips on a telephone line.
9407
Post by: Lint
Have Chuck Norris point his finger at the titan and say "bang."
15667
Post by: Emperors Faithful
Morgrim wrote:@EF: No. Just... no. *shudders* I do not talk like that and cannot stand people who talk like that. *shudders some more*
Commissar.
Is still suspicious.
13189
Post by: The Watcher
Lint wrote: Have Chuck Norris point his finger at the titan and say "bang."
Except he wouldnh have to say bang.
21392
Post by: Cambak
Morgrim wrote:@EF: No. Just... no. *shudders* I do not talk like that and cannot stand people who talk like that. *shudders some more*
Has anyone suggested using a certain ork gun to transport insane snotlings through the warp and into the cabin?
My apologizes ma'am, but either way.... I still have to burn you, since EF is in this thread... but if he wasn't....*looks around slyly*
Tell no one I said that.
7103
Post by: sniperjolly
^^^*points gigantic sign reading"HERETIC!"*^^^
Although, technically, you typed it, so I'm not saying you said anything.
15667
Post by: Emperors Faithful
There's something awfully suspicious going on here...
9711
Post by: Morgrim
He already knows I'm a heretic. And I think I have a new method of killing a titan.
*perches self on top of one of the titan's guns, so that it cannot actually reach to dislodge or shoot her*
You think your Emperor wants my death? Come and get me. 
15667
Post by: Emperors Faithful
*Titan fires gun, recoil knocks silly heretic off*
Okay. Now it should be a bit easier...
18080
Post by: Anpu42
Let Him Pilot it!
1
23571
Post by: Discy
Step One: Take one servitor.
Step Two: Strap one bigass bomb to it's back.
Step Three: Add vortex grenade.
Step Four: Order it to run up to the nearest Titan.
Step Five: Hide behind a mountain on the next planet.
9711
Post by: Morgrim
Emperors Faithful wrote:*Titan fires gun, recoil knocks silly heretic off*
Okay. Now it should be a bit easier...
*whimpers from a crater nearby* Owww... *crawls back to thread* Ok, I'll concede that one.
18080
Post by: Anpu42
I had to.
1
12071
Post by: Master Llyons
Have Creed outflank another titian onto the first one...
17559
Post by: Warboss Narznok
A Squad of Valkyries flying in Formation following the Command Valkyrie. The Valkyries are in Heavy Fog and can't pick up any sensors on their radars. The Squad can only see where they are going. Then all Crash into a unmaned Titan back where the Engine is, causing multiple explosives and the Titan falling to the Ground. Falling onto a Huge Power Generator and a cluster of smaller ones causing a MASSIVE ball of blue light and fire, that is next to a Imperial Tank Company inside a GIANT TANK DEPOT consisting of 20 Baneblades, 100 Leman Russ and 250 Chemerias. Causing another HUGE EXPLOSION. A Titan crew die suddenly during a meeting of conquering the Next Planet on their Campaign.
22761
Post by: Kurgash
have two defilers crab battle
21392
Post by: Cambak
Emperors Faithful wrote:*Titan fires gun, recoil knocks silly heretic off*
Okay. Now it should be a bit easier...
*bunrs a few Dark Eldar Wytches for EF on Chrismas*
What is there to be saposious about that???
*drives around in his newly made Super heavy with Morgrim hiding inside, pics with in the next 2 week, I think*
Nothing suspisiuos here!
9711
Post by: Morgrim
*is apparently bundled into an Imperial vehicle, driven off to places unknown by someone that burns her fellow dark eldar, but hasn't burnt her*
*eyes the number of loyalist fanatics and =I= members*
*gulps*
18474
Post by: Darth Bob
Ewoks.
4058
Post by: StarGate
A Grot with a slingshot... Wasnt there some rule about grots and a lucky shot to destroy vehilces back in the day...( or am i thinking about TsoLR)
8748
Post by: Jon Touchdown
Sly Marbo. Nuff said
18364
Post by: Little lord Fauntleroy
Put down one giant penny. Have one hundred men hidden behind the Titan. I'm sure you know what comes next.....
823
Post by: orchewer
A drop pod in the face.
23617
Post by: Lexx
Kamikaze a valkyrie into the titans legs and cripple it.
21392
Post by: Cambak
An Inquisitor that decides said titan is a heresy.
23666
Post by: insideprawn
If you had crossovers these guys
or better yet for destroying the titan, the planet, the attendent star cluster, and galaxy in general this guy
Failing that I would suggest reminding the princeps of something really simple and watching the resulting head smack crush the cockpit.
7103
Post by: sniperjolly
I was honestly going to suggest having TTGL throw the whole galaxy into another galaxy at 500,000 times the speed of light, creating another big bang. I just didn't have a high enough res image.
To give you an idea of how redonkulous Toppa Tengen Gurren Laggan is, I present you with the following.
http://i29.tinypic.com/2w56b8h.gif
EDIT: also http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/ttgl.jpg
Double edit: there is also SUPER Tengen Toppa Gurren Laggan. Which is aproxamately 300 times that size.
21611
Post by: Ronin-Sage
Wow, utterly ridiculous scale. One of the mechs in that series is apparently 100 times the diamater...of the fething Milkyway Galaxy. Like...what the hell?!
17072
Post by: crazypsyko666
Ghazkull on his WAAAGH! According to a batrep, he and a truckload of warbosses took out one and two armies in a single assault phase. Ghazkull was the only survivor in the game.
Automatically Appended Next Post:
Mind you, only because of the subsequent catastrophic explosion did the entire two armies die.
15667
Post by: Emperors Faithful
*Watches Super Heavy vehichle scarper off into the distance.*
...is...can I summary execute a vehichle for cowardice...or something?
Hey! (Back On Topic) THERE'S and idea.
9711
Post by: Morgrim
*attempts to pop head out of hatch and shout back to EF*
Somehow, I think trying to execute a titan for cowardice would only result in it stepping on you. Or the princeps shooting you for crimes against the Mechanium.
21392
Post by: Cambak
Emperors Faithful wrote:*Watches Super Heavy vehichle scarper off into the distance.*
...is...can I summary execute a vehichle for cowardice...or something?
Hey! (Back On Topic) THERE'S and idea.
You can execute the driver, gunner, and everyone else on board. But I don't suggest chasing after it unless you have a meltagun.
15884
Post by: ghosty
land a particully heavy thunderhawk carrying a landraider on the top. watch with glee as the top heavyness causes the legs to crumple underneath it.
true story ^^
15248
Post by: Eldar Own
Lay a big, deep pitfall trap in front of its path, and put something desirable to the driver on it.
5531
Post by: Leigen_Zero
Get out the old rogue-trader era shokk attak gun, get a snotling into cockpit so it can defacate in the princeps ear (ACTUAL RULE!) watch as it flails around and falls over while the princeps swats away a warp-crazed snotling and tries to get the gak out of his ear.
12620
Post by: Che-Vito
cheesesteak wrote:My personal favorite is wazdakka's way of killing a titan. Take your bike on a cliff drive down it as fast as possible and fly right into the cock pit of the titan and slaughter there crew and put there skulls on the back of your bike as trophy's. That's how i would do it
LOOT'D TITUN FTW.
7103
Post by: sniperjolly
Sneak a caddilus assasin onto the bridge and kill everyone (actually possible in epic).
18080
Post by: Anpu42
The Capitan
1
21392
Post by: Cambak
Anpu42 wrote:The Capitan
Instant win.
20901
Post by: Luke_Prowler
Convince the universe that such a vehicle would be impossible to make let alone work, and watch it disappear in a poof of logic.
23411
Post by: idget
Send in the angry marines
15667
Post by: Emperors Faithful
Cambak wrote:Emperors Faithful wrote:*Watches Super Heavy vehichle scarper off into the distance.*
...is...can I summary execute a vehichle for cowardice...or something?
Hey! (Back On Topic) THERE'S and idea.
You can execute the driver, gunner, and everyone else on board. But I don't suggest chasing after it unless you have a meltagun.
I lol at the picture of a commissar rostering 10 Guardsmen firing squad to summary execute a Titan with thier lasguns.
idget wrote:Send in the angry marines
Don't they have some titans of they're own?
23411
Post by: idget
Ever wonder where they got it from? Lets just say that I can still see the word "ultra" somewhere on that titan
15667
Post by: Emperors Faithful
I don't see any "ultra"...
(Unless you mean "ultra-awesome" )
13705
Post by: the_ferrett
Fly a fighta swadron overtop the titan and throw bomb squigs covered in super glue out the window. Lots of bomb squigs.
11834
Post by: Superscope
A randomly placed spike pit (You ever played megaman? yes... THOSE ones.. the ones that instantly kill you)
8044
Post by: Arctik_Firangi
"Oh crap... They figured out the land-speeder-rope-trick, sir."
"Yeah? Well, let's just build a SPHERE. In SPACE. Let's see them trip THAT over."
21392
Post by: Cambak
A sphere??? OH NO! NOT THE SPHERE!!!
*calls the inquisition*
23787
Post by: Cassandra
I once was in a game where an Ork player rammed a Titan in the rear with a war-truk that had no guns. It took down a structure point!
18080
Post by: Anpu42
The Comisar's New Gun
1
7632
Post by: Ghost in the Darkness
Squad of Jet-packed equipped assault marines with metla bombs. They come in high above the guns and plant the bombs on vital support hardware. And then BOOM!!!
19517
Post by: Brotheralexos
Throw a rock into the exhaust.
9711
Post by: Morgrim
*watches as a haemonculi opens a small webway portal to rescue her from the loyalist driving her off to who-knows-where-but-likely-unpleasant*
*sneaks back via webway and opens both a small portal near EF and a really big one where the titan is about to put its foot*
*pops out of small portal and watches the titan fall over as one leg disappears up to its knee into the ground*
*snickers*
15667
Post by: Emperors Faithful
*EF lols as stuck Titan spots haemonculi and cultist, bringing its plasma cannon to bear*
9711
Post by: Morgrim
Emperors Faithful wrote:*EF lols as stuck Titan spots haemonculi and cultist, bringing its plasma cannon to bear*
You realise that I'm standing right next to you, don't you? *waves, skips back into portal, pokes head back out* But I'm feeling nice, want a lift? I promise I won't hurt you, and may She Who Thirsts consign my soul to the warp should I breach it. *watches cannon point in this direction and ducks down again*
21392
Post by: Cambak
Inquisitor! Inquisitor! The Chaos Skum are building a GIANT SPHERE! IN SPACE!
15667
Post by: Emperors Faithful
Morgrim wrote:Emperors Faithful wrote:*EF lols as stuck Titan spots haemonculi and cultist, bringing its plasma cannon to bear*
You realise that I'm standing right next to you, don't you? *waves, skips back into portal, pokes head back out* But I'm feeling nice, want a lift? I promise I won't hurt you, and may She Who Thirsts consign my soul to the warp should I breach it. *watches cannon point in this direction and ducks down again*
"Onwards Guardsmen! Let us conquer the foul xenos realm!"
*silence*
"Hey, it's that or we get blown to bits by the titan over there."
*Commissar EF charges through the portal with a horde of guardsmen.*
Cambak wrote:
Inquisitor! Inquisitor! The Chaos Skum are building a GIANT SPHERE! IN SPACE!
No, Guardsman.
You ARE the giant sphere in space.
*BLAM* 
21392
Post by: Cambak
Emperors Faithful wrote:Morgrim wrote:Emperors Faithful wrote:*EF lols as stuck Titan spots haemonculi and cultist, bringing its plasma cannon to bear*
You realise that I'm standing right next to you, don't you? *waves, skips back into portal, pokes head back out* But I'm feeling nice, want a lift? I promise I won't hurt you, and may She Who Thirsts consign my soul to the warp should I breach it. *watches cannon point in this direction and ducks down again*
"Onwards Guardsmen! Let us conquer the foul xenos realm!"
*silence*
"Hey, it's that or we get blown to bits by the titan over there."
*Commissar EF charges through the portal with a horde of guardsmen.*
Cambak wrote:
Inquisitor! Inquisitor! The Chaos Skum are building a GIANT SPHERE! IN SPACE!
No, Guardsman.
You ARE the giant sphere in space.
*BLAM*
Ignores the wound because of a medic in the squad
With respect sir, the medic lets us negate one wound.....
Also, how can I be a sphere, when in fact, I am a heavy Flamer wielding Imperial Guardsmen.
LONG LIVE THE EMPEROR!
15667
Post by: Emperors Faithful
@Cambak: You sir, have obviously not heard the joke. (BTW, summary execution removes chosen model, it does not inflict a wound.)
21392
Post by: Cambak
Emperors Faithful wrote:@Cambak: You sir, have obviously not heard the joke. (BTW, summary execution removes chosen model, it does not inflict a wound.)
@ EF I have heard the joke, and seen it many times. ( BTW, summart execution removes the unit with the highest LD value, you, and forces a reroll for moral/leadership tests, and is also used in the "It's for your own good" Psyker special rule, I am not an Officer, just a loyal flame trooper)
23411
Post by: idget
Submit it to all the written work of Jervis Johnson. Given enough time the titan will commit suicide.
9711
Post by: Morgrim
*is lounging on top of a talos playing cards with the haemonculi. Both pause to look at the incoming guardmen. Haemonculi and talos begin to attack guardsmen*
*jumps down and shrugs* Hey, I said I wouldn't hurt anyone, not that I'd stop others from doing it. *deftly closes the now leaking plasma portal* Now, directions in this maze... that way *points* goes off to the greater depths, don't go there without a harlequin escort. If you find one do go there, the Black Library is somewhere down there. That way *points* is one I find quite interesting and you'd find some variation of repulsive, terrifying, or triumphant, depending on how you got there and how many grunts you had with you. Not that it would make a difference, since Commorragh is, once you account for the strange geometry and twisted gravity, a place with at least as much space as Terra. Seriously, there is an amusing wreckage of a battle cruiser impaled on one of the spikes, I have no clue who they were chasing or who thought it a good idea but apparently it worked well. There is a reason we stick to small and very nimble ships in here. Those areas *waves hand* are sealed off, they've been leaking into the warp and we don't need daemonic instability interfering with things.
*glances back at the talos enjoying itself and snickers* Right, well, that portal over there with the creaking noise is the one under the titan's foot, you can bail that way once it moves on, but do it soon before it'll close itself in about an hour. Oh, and you may find this trail incredibly interesting. *leans on a patch of webway with an odd smile on her face* Again, this is a 'take a harlequin for directions' bit, but also to knock back daemons. Actually, the infestation isn't bad, they've given up for the most part due to a rather nasty psychic barrier in the latter portions. Of course, that only causes them to be weakened until drawn back to the warp, so living beings can pass with a bit of will. No, the main issue it that if you try poking your head out, there tend to be a few hundred very tall once-humans in ornate golden armour staring at you...
*folds arms and smirks*
21392
Post by: Cambak
Okay??? Which way leads to the nearest HUMAN inhabited world? The inquisitors are getting suspicious and I was due back say.... several months ago...
shifts uneasily
9711
Post by: Morgrim
I speak of a passage in the webway tainted by daemons and held back by a psychic barrier strong enough to repel even a lord of change. Which leads to a room filled with those that resemble your astartes on a larger scale, in ornate armour. And you ask for a human world. *laughs mockingly*
I take it that the one you have just departed is also insufficient, then, despite being given excellent directions. Where is it then that you wish to go. And why do you honestly think that you won't not be hunted by that same Inquisition if I took you to another world, via the alien webway?
Still, if you insist... *begins walking down a tunnel*
21846
Post by: Arheiner
Bring your mother to war with you.
21392
Post by: Cambak
Morgrim wrote:I speak of a passage in the webway tainted by daemons and held back by a psychic barrier strong enough to repel even a lord of change. Which leads to a room filled with those that resemble your astartes on a larger scale, in ornate armour. And you ask for a human world. *laughs mockingly*
I take it that the one you have just departed is also insufficient, then, despite being given excellent directions. Where is it then that you wish to go. And why do you honestly think that you won't not be hunted by that same Inquisition if I took you to another world, via the alien webway?
Still, if you insist... *begins walking down a tunnel*
You have an excellent point, but I'd have a better chance being on a planet that the Inquisition don't have their claw around then one they do have.
21312
Post by: BeRzErKeR
Cambak wrote:
You have an excellent point, but I'd have a better chance being on a planet that the Inquisition don't have their claw around then one they do have.
Kom ta Charadon, we don't 'ave no Inquizzishun 'ere!
21392
Post by: Cambak
BeRzErKeR wrote:Cambak wrote:
You have an excellent point, but I'd have a better chance being on a planet that the Inquisition don't have their claw around then one they do have.
Kom ta Charadon, we don't 'ave no Inquizzishun 'ere!
I bring Loot! *holds up some stuff that can be made into shootas and a heavy flamer
21312
Post by: BeRzErKeR
Cambak wrote:
I bring Loot! *holds up some stuff that can be made into shootas and a heavy flamer
Give dat 'ere. *grabs loot* Right, yer looks like a good lad. Cummon in quik before da 'oomies follow yer.
15667
Post by: Emperors Faithful
NEVER ask Morgrim for directions. For she shall give you 3 answers, all relatively true and terrifying to know...
8907
Post by: cadbren
Clothesline followed by a couple of body slams then finished off with a pin. Just remember, the bigger they are, the harder they fall.
Actually you probably wouldn't need the body slams as I doubt a titan would get up again after falling over so just the clothesline and pin to show who's the boss.
Automatically Appended Next Post:
Repo Man.
Sir, are you aware that there are payments owing on your vehicle?
What?!! Pay...Look you, I've been on the galactic fringe insuring your damned safety!
Language sir, no one is being damned today, but if you can't pay I'm authorised to repossess items to cover the cost.
Repo...why you maggot, I'll stomp you flat I will. Jenkins, squash this twit please.
Sorry sir, the foot wont respond.
Try the other one then dammit!
They're both unresponsive sir, checking visuals. Arrr sir, we appear to have been clamped.
Whaaaat!!!!! That bloody maggot, I'll fry him.
Frying me will not remove the clamps and you'll also be posted with an infringement notice requiring you to cover my funeral expenses as well as paying other costs. Best just to pay up sir
nggg nggg nggg
I didn't quite catch that sir.
Fine, you win, what are you taking?
Just a chair and a piece of electronics should do it.
What, all of that for a lousy chair and a piece of hardware!
Glad you see it like that sir, now if you'll just stand up please while the techs remove the chair.
My command chair! What's the hardware you want, the turbo-laser I suppose?
The plasma canon will be fine thank you.
<thwump>
Sir?
I think he's fainted mister.
21392
Post by: Cambak
*Walks up to the Repo Man and holds up a screw*
You call this a boot? All you did was stick it in the leg joint!
*put on a fake, but still intimidating hat*
By order of the Commissariat You are hereby summary executed for the attempted sabotage of an Imperial Reaver Titan.
*shoots Repo man*
23204
Post by: ginger_nid_dude
piano dropped on the pricepts chair
9407
Post by: Lint
Put a giant rake on the ground in front of the titan. When he steps on the tines, the handle flys up and knocks him unconscious.
11886
Post by: Great Unclean One
Ride off a cliff with a motorbike, into the titan, slaughter everyone inside, I am sure this has never been done by anyone before.... Hang on wait, damn Wazdakka!
9202
Post by: Solorg
The titan powers down and blows up after his cord (which is too short) pops out of the wall.
Actually, something like this happened in Evangelion, no joke.
23200
Post by: Dastardly Dave
One Word:
CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!!
He would simply outflank the titan with a big sign saying "Tactical Genius, don't look here"
*Titan looks behind bush, nothing there.
SUDDENLY DEMOLISHERS appear from behind the bush and blow up the titan.
That must have taken some sort of tactical geniu-
CREEEEEEEEEEEEED!
(that or he just outflanks a vortex grenade into the titan, Creed can outflank anyone, anywhere and with anything.)
20700
Post by: IvanTih
Put explosives on the guardsmen helmets,drop them from 10km and this is a way to use them as a living bombs.Drop them on the titan until it's destroyed.
21226
Post by: shas'o vera
air caste commander: launch the 'penertrator' missile at the titans 'rear' armor
23200
Post by: Dastardly Dave
air caste commander: launch the 'penertrator' missile at the titans 'rear' armor
Oh Dear, I feel very sorry for that titan now.
21226
Post by: shas'o vera
Ignores the wound because of a medic in the squad
With respect sir, the medic lets us negate one wound.....
Also, how can I be a sphere, when in fact, I am a heavy Flamer wielding Imperial Guardsmen.
LONG LIVE THE EMPEROR!
*walks into the thread*
ahhhh the imperium and their so called emperor, he's dieing deal with it,
for the greater good 
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