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Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/07/05 13:55:51


Post by: reds8n


http://www.hulldailymail.co.uk/vandal-must-forfeit-rock-hull-court-listings-july-4-2016/story-29471554-detail/story.html



Jamal Miah, 38, of no fixed abode, must pay £100 compensation for damaging two panes of glass in the front door, and two panes of glass to the right-hand side of the door at Pickering Road Police Station in west Hull. A hammer and rock were ordered to be forfeited and destroyed.


we're really going to destroy a hammer and a rock ?


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/07/05 13:58:08


Post by: Kilkrazy


These rocks are dangerous things to leave lying about.

There must be some jokes in there about being under the hammer, or between a rock and the wall, etc.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/07/06 07:29:56


Post by: reds8n


http://www.kentonline.co.uk/ashford/news/can-you-solve-chair-mystery-98425/


Spoiler:


A cyclist says he has been left stumped as to why a mysterious chair has been dumped in a field off a rural lane.

Ted Prangnell, from Kennington, was out riding in Goodcheap Lane near Hinxhill on Monday last week when he paused for a break.

He said: “I had stopped, and then looked over a gate when I saw the chair in the field. I thought ‘why would someone dump a chair like that?’

“It is such an oddball thing to have seen. Usually things which are dumped are damaged, broken or old, but this doesn’t appear to be in bad condition.

“It has pulleys and loops for rope or chord on each side and at the back. I suspect someone out there knows what it is for, probably those who left it there know best.”

But what is the chair used for? In the newsroom it has provoked some dark suggestions from history.

One suggestion is that resembles the chairs used to restrain people in an electric chair before being executed for their misdeeds in the United States of America.

The method was first used in 1890, and was an option in as many as half of the states of the USA, but is now only used in eight states.

Another suggestion is that it could be a chair used to dunk witches in lakes and rivers to test to see if they floated during the 16th and 17th centuries.



2 entirely plausible uses for the chair there.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/07/06 07:42:22


Post by: Dreadwinter


reds8n has been posting a lot in here, but I am about to blow his articles away.

Police: Pizza roll brawl leads to North Carolina couple’s July Fourth arrest

Spoiler:
GASTONIA, N.C. – A North Carolina couple faces charges after allegedly assaulting each other with pizza rolls, according to WJZY.
Brad Scott Beard, 24, and Samantha Brooke Canipe, 21, were each charged on Monday with one count of misdemeanor simple assault.

The suspects allegedly got into a fight at their Gastonia apartment around 1 a.m., and started throwing pizza rolls at each other. A motive in the incident remains uncertain.

It’s not clear if they sustained any injuries in the alleged snack skirmish.

Beard faces 60 days in jail and Canipe faces 30 days in jail, according to WJZY.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/07/06 21:26:12


Post by: Kilkrazy


That is good, I have to say.

As well as the core story, the names are so way out!



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/07/07 02:37:15


Post by: Dreadwinter


The real question is, were they cooked or frozen? Freshly cooked pizza roll fight? No thanks, that sounds horrifying.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/07/07 14:37:45


Post by: Easy E


We are lucky it didn't escalate to Hot Pockets!


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/07/07 18:17:19


Post by: Dreadwinter


Ah Hot Pockets, the grenades of the pocketed frozen food world.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/07/07 18:48:17


Post by: kronk


 Dreadwinter wrote:
Ah Hot Pockets, the grenades of the pocketed frozen food world.


Jim Gaffigan would have been proud had it escalated to Hot Pockets.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/07/11 12:48:07


Post by: reds8n


disaster averted !



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/07/11 23:58:31


Post by: Kilkrazy


I remember Izal toilet paper. My grandmother always had it.

I think some types of baking sheet or parchment baking paper might be a good substitute.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/07/12 16:23:58


Post by: kronk




A world championship event held in the North-east almost hit the skids this week … because organisers couldn’t find the correct toilet paper.


Skids. TP.

I see what they did there!


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/07/13 09:16:50


Post by: reds8n


it's the use of the " marks I like best

.. odd it only eats chocolate bars ?

Coconut fetish presumably ?


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/07/15 14:03:35


Post by: reds8n


It was made up for someone who is poorly


..."Tuesday night’s raid was the latest in a series of thefts and acts of vandalism"

.... hmm .....

bit of luck that this happened to be left there eh ?



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/07/15 14:39:20


Post by: A Town Called Malus


 reds8n wrote:
It was made up for someone who is poorly


..."Tuesday night’s raid was the latest in a series of thefts and acts of vandalism"

.... hmm .....

bit of luck that this happened to be left there eh ?



Indeed. I mean who takes their laxative purely with Rum?


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/07/15 19:23:32


Post by: Dreadwinter


 A Town Called Malus wrote:
 reds8n wrote:
It was made up for someone who is poorly


..."Tuesday night’s raid was the latest in a series of thefts and acts of vandalism"

.... hmm .....

bit of luck that this happened to be left there eh ?



Indeed. I mean who takes their laxative purely with Rum?


I would assume Frazzled. Not sure if he takes laxative, but I assume he takes everything with Rum.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/07/18 08:34:46


Post by: reds8n





... some things, it's best just too dig too deeply into.

Some stories are best left untold.




Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/07/19 14:20:30


Post by: reds8n


alleged udder tampering


.... " It comes three years after “udder gate”"...




Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/07/22 01:26:43


Post by: Compel


Flying ant day is bad enough by itself adding in sozzled seagulls to that is just terrifying b


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/07/22 14:47:20


Post by: kronk


I recall flying red ants (thankfully not fire ants) growing up in Louisiana. They'll still bite your ass, though.



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/07/22 17:15:21


Post by: Asterios


too be honest would rather see headline stories like these then the ones we have seen lately.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/07/22 17:36:59


Post by: kronk




Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/07/23 15:04:06


Post by: reds8n





elsewhere
Spoiler:





Must've been an anniversary or a birthday or something similar.





Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/07/26 11:42:17


Post by: reds8n


http://www.eadt.co.uk/news/feisty_swan_annihilates_eight_model_boats_on_needham_lake_queen_asked_to_sort_the_fowl_tempered_bird_out_1_4625724

One model boat club member who had two of his boats attacked has taken to writing to the Queen in a bid to get the “menace” moved on.

Dean Cable, 23, from Wickham Skeith, said he is afraid to put his boats in the water if the swan is about.

He said: “I wrote to the Queen telling her the swan is a menace and I would like him to be moved on if possible.

“I said usually I like swans, but this one was attacking our boats and I would like to be able to boat in peace.

“I told her the geese have no problem with us, the ducks seem to enjoy it and the swans we used to have at the lake were not a problem. One duck even hopped onto a barge for a ride.

“It is just this swan that is a problem and I want to see him moved elsewhere. I had one of my boats valued a month ago and I can tell you I don’t want that swan in the water at the same time as my boat.”


wrote a letter to the Queen



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/08/02 16:33:19


Post by: reds8n


help him achieve what he describes as his "life's dream".



not a lot to even dream about in Oxford then it would seem.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/08/02 17:28:28


Post by: kronk


 reds8n wrote:
help him achieve what he describes as his "life's dream".



not a lot to even dream about in Oxford then it would seem.


He needs to lose an ear to get ahead on the Van Gogh circuit. Those fethers don't mess around.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/08/03 10:29:33


Post by: reds8n



Spoiler:






Here’s a note from Vincent Van Gogh’s doctor showing how much of his own ear he cut off.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/08/03 13:19:08


Post by: jreilly89


 reds8n wrote:

Spoiler:






Here’s a note from Vincent Van Gogh’s doctor showing how much of his own ear he cut off.


Just....ow. Why?


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/08/03 18:41:11


Post by: Kilkrazy


Van Gogh was suffering from mental illness at the time.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/08/03 18:53:21


Post by: jreilly89


 Kilkrazy wrote:
Van Gogh was suffering from mental illness at the time.


I know. My point was more, just...ow. He went deep and cut out his entire ear, basically.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/08/04 10:56:34


Post by: reds8n


Gloucestershire is deadly serious


Pulitzer stuff once again.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/08/04 13:36:32


Post by: jreilly89




Hey, I've been to Gloucestershire to be fair, it's a pretty small town. Maybe blueberries is serious business over there?


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/08/05 02:14:47


Post by: Asterios


in keeping with the thread here is a nice video:




Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/08/06 17:34:16


Post by: A Town Called Malus


Not from a local paper but think it still kinda fits in here better than anywhere else.

http://www.littlethings.com/two-obituaries-leroy-blast-bill/?utm_source=shemarm&utm_medium=Facebook&utm_campaign=obits

Dead Man Gets Two Obituaries In Same Paper: One From His Wife, One From His Girlfriend


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/08/06 22:08:15


Post by: Kilkrazy


 jreilly89 wrote:


Hey, I've been to Gloucestershire to be fair, it's a pretty small town. Maybe blueberries is serious business over there?


Gloucestershire is the county, Gloucester is the town, population about 125,000.

I didn't know they grew blueberries there. The ones in my local supermarket usually come from Poland.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/08/06 22:11:47


Post by: Compel


Yeah, in the British definition of it, Gloucester is actually a city... Kinda the sort of thing that reminds you the UK isn't actually that large...


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/08/06 22:25:50


Post by: Kilkrazy


http://www.henleystandard.co.uk/news/news.php?id=42399

Nothing very unusual or funny here but I post it as a nice local story.

Henley pub landlords marry

The landlord of the Old Bell in Bell Street, Henley on Thames, married his business partner whom he met when she started drinking there to make friends and eventually offered him a drink.



The wedding party was transported by several vintage sports cars, had a reception at Leander Club (now featuring strongly in Olympic Rowing) and a river cruise.

Heart-warming stuff and I shall try to pop into the Old Bell more often in future. Though with seven other pubs within three minutes walk there is plenty of competition!


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/08/11 13:10:11


Post by: Silent Puffin?


Pensioner's huge cock in front garden is a tourist attraction

Its all about the headline...


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/08/19 12:07:28


Post by: Kilkrazy


I think it's great that Swedish local newspapers run everything in perfect English with a great eye for the Fnar! Fnar! factor.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/08/19 12:14:46


Post by: kronk




After 4 paragraphs, I still had no clue what the feth I was reading.

It was English, and yet it wasn't my language...


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/08/25 10:59:17


Post by: reds8n


POLICE CARRY OUT CONTROLLED EXPLOSION ON PESTO SANDWICH IN BOROUGH HIGH STREET


too much pepper perhaps ?



Could Alan Shearer stop proposed work on the Blue House roundabout?

One of the great questions that has troubled mankind for aeons.

Of course we'll never truly know as such information ...


So, Alan Shearer could kick into touch plans for a major transport scheme in Newcastle?
No. He’s an Honorary Freeman of Newcastle. As it’s an honorary title, it doesn’t given him a say on stuff like this.


oh.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/08/25 20:19:25


Post by: Dreadwinter


I see your pesto sandwich and raise you "PM slammed for playing Pokemon at defence hearing"

“I’m not doing it anything longer since some were offended. But some of us have heads that listen better when we are also doing brain dead [activities]. We aren’t all the same,” she said via SMS.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/08/30 07:57:03


Post by: reds8n


Drunken bucking bronco gran jailed for biting Orangemen's legs at Ayrshire village fun day



A GRAN bit two Orangemen ...... Drunken Nicola Saunderson, 38,


Gran .. 38





Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/08/30 08:40:56


Post by: Compel


I'm just really impressed it wasn't my home town for once. But then again, if it was, it wouldn't make the news, as that sort of thing is pretty much a daily occurrence. Including the gran at 38 part...

It is worth mentioning at least, the article is from 2013.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/09/05 19:43:58


Post by: Trondheim


 Dreadwinter wrote:
I see your pesto sandwich and raise you "PM slammed for playing Pokemon at defence hearing"

“I’m not doing it anything longer since some were offended. But some of us have heads that listen better when we are also doing brain dead [activities]. We aren’t all the same,” she said via SMS.


You would not belive the hubbub this has caused in some of the major newspapers here in Norway, particulary in the say your opinion colomus in my local newspaper. I would gladly offer alink but I dont want to pay for it so sadly no such amustment for dakka. But here is a link so people can see what is more or less a common Norwegian distric newspaper
http://www.adressa.no/
And one smaller one if anyone should be intrested
http://www.tronderbladet.no/


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/09/12 11:28:48


Post by: A Town Called Malus




For her part, Pc Walker claimed she only went to say hello, and put her elbow out in what she described as a ‘friendly’ greeting.


Well, I don't know about you guys but I regularly smash my elbow into people as a friendly greeting



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/09/14 12:56:57


Post by: reds8n


Sperm sniffer-dog helps Derbyshire police smell crime-fighting success



.. never gonna complain about training at work ever again.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/10/18 11:46:18


Post by: kronk




If you don't talk to your calves about taking carrots from strangers, who will?


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/10/18 13:02:20


Post by: Trondheim




Why....just why?????


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/10/18 13:17:55


Post by: jreilly89




Not sure about the source, but I want to say this is fake. There was a very similar story about a woman in Florida doing this, and that one was fake.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/10/18 13:35:33


Post by: kronk


Possible, but it's a great headline!


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/10/19 14:12:32


Post by: A Town Called Malus




Well, at least he can't hide in his home without the blinds.

Should make it easier to find him.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/10/19 15:55:38


Post by: Trondheim


Are criminals not even trying to avoid capture these days? No pride in their proffesions it seems


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/10/19 17:05:02


Post by: kronk


Looks like a hump back. Leave him alone!


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/10/19 17:10:28


Post by: Trondheim


Nah we all need a viliage hump back to mock


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/10/31 12:28:39


Post by: reds8n







...hmm...


best we don' delve too deeply into this one perhaps ?



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/11/04 12:09:05


Post by: reds8n















Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/11/05 17:10:05


Post by: toasteroven


The question of why someone would spend 50 dollars at subway in the first place is left unanswered, I see.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/11/05 19:37:59


Post by: Trondheim


 toasteroven wrote:
The question of why someone would spend 50 dollars at subway in the first place is left unanswered, I see.


If the Subway that is to be found in my hometown is anyting to go by, it should be criminal to spend any sort of money there.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/11/07 12:56:39


Post by: kronk




5 fething pounds of bacon is a midnight snack?!

Jeebus!


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/11/11 11:34:35


Post by: reds8n


I did wonder about that.

would take a while to cook that amount one would've thought ?



Local news with a global twist
Spoiler:




.. phew !



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/11/11 14:04:44


Post by: kronk


 reds8n wrote:
I did wonder about that.

would take a while to cook that amount one would've thought ?



If I cook 3 pieces of bacon, my house smells like burnt pig for 2 days.

5 lbs? Wouldn't that smell like a Denny's?


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/11/11 15:00:43


Post by: Wyrmalla


Maybe that was her plan... Wait no, to passively aggressiveness make him wake to the smell of bacon then tell him she'd used it all up. Instead he phoned the police.

Sadly the husband has now found out that he has lost his sense of smell however.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/11/11 18:48:14


Post by: BigWaaagh


 fishy bob wrote:


When these boys were gonna check out CDs on their lunch break.... the store had closed for the day!



Swedish boy band?


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/11/27 14:10:43


Post by: reds8n


Rescue goat suffering from anxiety only calms down in her duck outfit

..I don't understand the world anymore


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/12/13 10:20:07


Post by: reds8n


are people in Gloucester a bit thick or something ?




next week : what we call it when water falls from the sky.



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/12/15 23:39:05


Post by: Compel


,


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2016/12/16 08:54:47


Post by: reds8n


Posh cheese festival descends into chaos as woman "elbowed in the boob"

Spoiler:


An artisan cheese festival descended into chaos last night.

The "fromage-themed extravaganza" took place on Wednesday at London's famous Borough Market, and hordes turned up, all eager to get a taste of free cheese.


More than 18,000 people said they were attending on Facebook, and it seems many of them actually went (unlike most events). It was too packed. People vented their annoyance at the festival, complaining of 'dangerous overcrowding'.

Only adding to the misery, others were frustrated at the appearance of a group of vegan protesters, who hurled insults in an anti- cheese demonstration while streaming videos of sad-looking cows.

'Elbowed in the boob'

Kelly Fox had a torrid time and even got hit in the face by a flailing backpack.

“Couldn’t get a look in at any of the stalls," she wrote.

"At one point we were just stuck in the middle of everyone and no one was moving.

"I got elbowed in the boob and backpacked in the face! Gave up in the end and went to Regent Street to look at the Christmas lights. Was looking forward to this all month. Disappointing.”

David Wallace didn't even see any cheese.
“Gave up on this before we even saw any cheese, never mind tasted it,” he wrote.

“Utter, utter shambles. Ridiculously overcrowded, poorly organised and, frankly, a public relations disaster for Borough Market.”

Andy Green travelled all the way from Kent to eat cheese and was very upset by the meltdown.

He said on Facebook: “What a terrible shame you could not organise this properly, it was just an evening of squeeze!”

“Dangerously overcrowded and not much fun at all, we have never been so relieved to be back on the train to Folkestone!"

"We went to Nandos! Proper shambles!" said Hayley Meades.

Michael Bell chided: "Never had to battle for cheese before. Great to see such demand for great product, but utter chaos."

And, naturally, the cheese puns rolled in like a wheel of gorgonzola.

Alex Hawley said: "Sounds like it should have been planned a bit more Caerphilly."

Michaelle Utz wrote: "Well....I couldn't give an Edam!"

Georgia Georgallis joked: "It just wasn't Gouda enough..."

And Michael Thurston said: "I don't know what people are talking about, I had a grate time."

The cheese festival has been running for ten years. It's usually popular, but 2016 proved too much.

However, others proffered some 'perspective'.

Amalia Di Prosecco (we've asked if that's her real name) commented on Facebook: “I’m sorry – we are still talking about a free cheese night and not the war in South Sudan, the famine in Yemen or the well-documented Syrian invasion aren’t we?

“I popped in tonight. And yes there were queues. The queues didn’t put me off – it was what was f****** in them that did.”

Borough Market managing director, Darren Henaghan, said in a statement: “Whilst it went off without incident, we were saddened to hear that a small minority of visitors were disappointed with the Evening of Cheese.

“For the last 10 years we have opened this historic and unique market at Christmas for this special event, and this year saw unprecedented numbers attend, making the market much busier than usual.

“Clearly there are some lessons to be learnt due to the event’s popularity and we’ll be taking feedback into account for next year.”






Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2017/01/07 11:30:39


Post by: reds8n



link

It's essentially a sad/awful story in itself.

. but that is a killer first sentence for a story.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2017/01/07 13:00:09


Post by: kronk


Heh. No anus...


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2017/01/10 12:02:57


Post by: reds8n




Not a lot going in Frome it seems.

Spoiler:






The last 2 paragraphs are what really elevate it.



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2017/01/10 13:11:16


Post by: kronk


Clearly Frome needs more parking incident related beheadings!


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2017/01/16 11:48:45


Post by: reds8n




Spoiler:







...you'd think being heavy would help.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2017/01/16 11:51:24


Post by: A Town Called Malus


 reds8n wrote:


Spoiler:







...you'd think being heavy would help.


Depends whether you want to slow down before you hit the ground


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2017/01/16 19:04:51


Post by: kronk


Harsh, man.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2017/01/16 19:17:54


Post by: Shadow Captain Edithae


 reds8n wrote:

link

It's essentially a sad/awful story in itself.

. but that is a killer first sentence for a story.


The lawyer also emphasised how much the defendant, who has to empty his pouch regularly throughout the day and night, would suffer in prison.


I thought that was the point of prison?


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2017/01/22 00:04:12


Post by: A Town Called Malus


Spoiler:


Well, if she did then some people may want a refund.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2017/01/24 08:56:03


Post by: Steve steveson


 Shadow Captain Edithae wrote:
 reds8n wrote:

link

It's essentially a sad/awful story in itself.

. but that is a killer first sentence for a story.


The lawyer also emphasised how much the defendant, who has to empty his pouch regularly throughout the day and night, would suffer in prison.


I thought that was the point of prison?


No. Protection of society and rehabilitation is the point in prison.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2017/01/31 18:04:30


Post by: reds8n




Spoiler:





..the mind boggles.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2017/02/09 12:46:26


Post by: kronk




I have so many questions...


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2017/02/10 13:04:51


Post by: reds8n




Spoiler:






It is a cunning hiding place.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2017/02/10 16:18:01


Post by: kronk


Must have been a tiny gun. Or very large Valentine card.

Is Valentine's Day big over there? Like, you better get the misses a card or candy or nice dinner?


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2017/02/10 18:06:25


Post by: reds8n


Yes.

The evening itself generally sees couples out for dinner -- the women drinking red wine whilst the men , for some reason, tend to stick to soft drinks.



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2017/02/14 11:22:25


Post by: zedmeister


Not strictly news, but Tesco's appears to be reaching out to those lonely hearts this Valentines:





Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2017/02/14 12:49:22


Post by: zedmeister




Fake news! No good French riot or protest happens without a pile of burning tyres!


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2017/02/14 13:53:14


Post by: reds8n


Sauvignon citizens movement ?


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2017/02/14 14:26:32


Post by: Easy E


 zedmeister wrote:
Not strictly news, but Tesco's appears to be reaching out to those lonely hearts this Valentines:





I had heard there was a shortage of Zucchini in the UK, and now i know why!


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2017/02/14 15:29:44


Post by: A Town Called Malus


That's a cucumber, not a courgette


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2017/02/14 17:48:00


Post by: kronk


 reds8n wrote:
Sauvignon citizens movement ?



Boo! It's Terroir Terrorism, any way.

Wine is supposed to be relaxing. The French are doing it wrong!

Also, it's about the grape. STFU about the terroir (pronounced Terr-Wah). Snooty.



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2017/02/14 18:54:09


Post by: Kilkrazy


It is about the terroir and the grape.

A recent headline in my local paper read...

FIREMEN SAVED MY BUSINESS (a local business caught fire and the firemen came and put it out.)

Because the I had been fairly tightly kerned on both sides, I kept reading it as FREMEN SAVED MY BUSINESS

Which is a lot more exciting I am sure you will agree!


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2017/02/24 13:49:14


Post by: reds8n




Spoiler:






Baden-Powell must be turning in his grave !


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2017/02/24 15:10:29


Post by: Easy E


 Kilkrazy wrote:

FIREMEN SAVED MY BUSINESS (a local business caught fire and the firemen came and put it out.


Maybe not Fremen, but still more exciting than "Local Civil Servant does Job!"


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2017/02/24 15:28:54


Post by: Inquisitor Gideon


 Easy E wrote:
 Kilkrazy wrote:

FIREMEN SAVED MY BUSINESS (a local business caught fire and the firemen came and put it out.


Maybe not Fremen, but still more exciting than "Local Civil Servant does Job!"


Oh I don't know, "Local Civil Servant Does Job" would probably turn more heads than the original headline


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2017/02/24 16:31:23


Post by: kronk


 Inquisitor Gideon wrote:
 Easy E wrote:
 Kilkrazy wrote:

FIREMEN SAVED MY BUSINESS (a local business caught fire and the firemen came and put it out.


Maybe not Fremen, but still more exciting than "Local Civil Servant does Job!"


Oh I don't know, "Local Civil Servant Does Job" would probably turn more heads than the original headline


"I don't have to do gak! I work for the government!"

hehehehe


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2017/02/28 11:29:17


Post by: reds8n




Oregon's world famous goat yoga now has an official beer


.. "world famous" ... really ?!


""They were just having some fun with it," she added, "and I thought it was awesome because A. I love beer and B. I love Goat Yoga!""

words to live by.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2017/03/02 22:16:34


Post by: Easy E


 reds8n wrote:


Oregon's world famous goat yoga now has an official beer


.. "world famous" ... really ?!


""They were just having some fun with it," she added, "and I thought it was awesome because A. I love beer and B. I love Goat Yoga!""

words to live by.



Hmmmm, I think I have an idea for a new business.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2017/06/08 16:15:34


Post by: reds8n




Spoiler:







.... most people would've worked that one out yeah ?



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2017/06/17 17:58:24


Post by: reds8n


https://www.derrynow.com/news/derry-man-head-butted-himself-court-told/32904

" Derry man head-butted himself: court told"

mad skillz !


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2017/07/01 22:33:54


Post by: Kilkrazy


Not strictly a newspaper and not local to me, but this story is too good to let pass by.

Florida town plagued by triple-arse graffiti

Later on the same page...

12 greyhounds test positive for cocaine at Florida racetrack

To which one can only say, "Well, it is Florida." Puts down a Carl Hiaasen book.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2017/07/02 11:31:21


Post by: reds8n


Batman Retruns



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2017/08/02 16:06:49


Post by: A Town Called Malus




Christ. Well, let's see how long until one of the dogs catches rabies and goes full Cujo on some people.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2017/08/02 16:28:00


Post by: Easy E




I think he sounds more like Daredevil.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2017/08/08 20:31:53


Post by: Ouze


$1M bill deposit attempt leads to Iowa man's drug arrest


Posted: Tue 1:17 PM, Aug 08, 2017 | Updated: Tue 2:40 PM, Aug 08, 2017

SIOUX CITY, Iowa (AP) - Authorities say a man who tried to deposit what he presented as a $1 million bill has been charged with drug possession in Iowa.

A criminal complaint says Sioux City police officers were called to a Northwest Bank branch Thursday to talk to a man who tried to deposit the bill into his account. The officers asked 33-year-old Dennis Strickland whether he had any more of the bills and that a baggie fell out when he emptied a pocket. The complaint says the baggie contained methamphetamine.

The U.S. Treasury Department says it has never produced a $1 million bill.

Iowa court records say Strickland is scheduled to be back in court Monday. His attorney hasn't returned a call Tuesday from The Associated Press.


The best part of this story is knowing perfectly well that some reporter from the AP had to call the US Treasury, probably wait on hold for an hour while they got bounced around, just so they could say that they asked and confirmed that the US Treasury has indeed never made a $1 million dollar bill.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2017/08/08 20:52:04


Post by: daedalus


I know I don't want MY pets to get *autism!

Note that vaccines don't cause autism and oh god what kind of world do we live in where people think that it's a reasonable thing to not vaccinate against a bunch of things for fear of one thing that won't happen happening.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2017/08/08 21:35:51


Post by: Shadow Captain Edithae




Going green: Greenpoint dog owners Aaron Greenleaf and Larissa Moon may live in one of the “hispter-y” parts of Brooklyn, but they still vaccinate their pets. They also wear leaves for hats.

Spoiler:



Automatically Appended Next Post:
 daedalus wrote:
I know I don't want MY pets to get *autism!

Note that vaccines don't cause autism and oh god what kind of world do we live in where people think that it's a reasonable thing to not vaccinate against a bunch of things for fear of one thing that won't happen happening.


Oh thats nothing.

Some miserable gak-stain excuses for human beings Parents think that Autism is caused by parasites in their children's bowels, and that they can kill those parasites and cure their children of Autism by force-feeding them child abuse in liquid form "Miracle Mineral Solution".

Those weird brown "parasites" that get passed in their children's stool? Yeah...those aren't really parasites, those are bits of their children's disintegrating bowel linings.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2017/08/21 13:23:47


Post by: A Town Called Malus


Riveting viewing. Academy Award contender for sure.

Watch woman help herself to every packet of ham in south Bristol shop

http://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/watch-woman-help-herself-every-354595


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2017/08/31 13:26:10


Post by: reds8n


we've all thought about it !

... no ?


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2017/08/31 14:09:29


Post by: Kilkrazy


BBC report but it is local news if you live in Dorset...

Terry Pratchett's unpublished works crushed by steamroller


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2017/08/31 14:13:21


Post by: A Town Called Malus


 Kilkrazy wrote:
BBC report but it is local news if you live in Dorset...

Terry Pratchett's unpublished works crushed by steamroller


Ha, that's one way of making sure your unfinished work doesn't get bastardised and sent out into the world

Also, thank you BBC for letting me know about that exhibition in Salisbury, definitely gonna make a trip to visit it at some point.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2017/08/31 15:00:00


Post by: Skinnereal


We're off to see that exhibition while down that way next month. More reason to go now.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2017/08/31 15:11:45


Post by: reds8n


pics if you do please


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2017/09/30 08:16:22


Post by: reds8n




Never let it be said that the UK is not a hotbed of exciting activities

Spoiler:









meanwhile




Anarchy reigns !


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2017/10/05 16:09:21


Post by: reds8n


cracking pun work



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2017/10/05 16:15:20


Post by: BigWaaagh


Eww. Just, eww.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2017/10/08 11:03:47


Post by: A Town Called Malus


Those turds were fast as lightning...


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2017/11/03 17:52:12


Post by: reds8n



Spoiler:







..clearly worth contacting the press about !

and whilst it's from a national paper...well...

Farmers urged to bury their underpants to improve quality of their beef



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2017/11/05 23:13:00


Post by: Compel


Meanwhile in England

British Police wrote:
"If your Pizza Topping is not correct, please do not ring the Police on 999 to report it. 999 is for emergency calls .#cheesedoff #999"


The things that come across my timeline...


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2017/11/06 17:08:15


Post by: BigWaaagh


 reds8n wrote:

Spoiler:







..clearly worth contacting the press about !

and whilst it's from a national paper...well...

Farmers urged to bury their underpants to improve quality of their beef



When soil analysis kits just won't do, I suppose.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2017/11/07 12:53:16


Post by: AndrewGPaul


bar wars Jedi knight breaks his ankle after being punched by Jesus in Dundee

Police are hunting for a man with "long brown hair, a beard, and wearing long robes"


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2017/11/07 12:57:19


Post by: Skinnereal


I always knew there was something wrong with that one...


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2017/11/13 18:43:41


Post by: BaronIveagh





Shocking! Without muzzle, leash, and at least two leg irons! Heavens, it may peck someone's shoe!


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2017/11/16 18:44:02


Post by: Kilkrazy


Technically not local but it's such a good story it has to be run...

Apology after Japanese train departs 20 seconds early

Management on the Tsukuba Express line between Tokyo and the city of Tsukuba say they "sincerely apologise for the inconvenience" caused.
In a statement, the company said the train had been scheduled to leave at 9:44:40 local time but left at 9:44:20.

From the BBC.


Automatically Appended Next Post:
This is a sad one but iIthink it's worth posting to celebrate a life well lived.

WW2 Spitfire pilot Joy Lofthouse dies aged 94




Just imagine that girl flying Spitfires to deliver them to airfields before she could even drive a car.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2017/11/23 20:21:38


Post by: Kilkrazy


Girl's lost teddy flown 200 miles home to Orkney from Edinburgh

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-north-east-orkney-shetland-42094340


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2017/11/23 21:52:37


Post by: chromedog


 Kilkrazy wrote:
Technically not local but it's such a good story it has to be run...

Apology after Japanese train departs 20 seconds early

Management on the Tsukuba Express line between Tokyo and the city of Tsukuba say they "sincerely apologise for the inconvenience" caused.
In a statement, the company said the train had been scheduled to leave at 9:44:40 local time but left at 9:44:20.



We get the odd driver on trains into Sydney (it's a 2hr40 to 3hr trip depending on stopping pattern) apologising ("for the convenience") when they arrive early and then say that "it won't happen again.".

Tokyo is exceedingly polite, even when you are in the wrong, though. They apologise because it's not your fault you're an idiot.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2017/12/07 20:17:00


Post by: Kilkrazy


Man 'cements microwave to head' in Wolverhampton

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-42271150


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2017/12/08 22:11:07


Post by: AndrewGPaul


That should really read "psychopath endangers lives in Wolverhampton for personal gain". The little gak was interviewed and said he "didn't care" that he wasted the time and resources of the fire brigade. It's to get him money from his YouTube video, so apparently that's OK. I hope his next stunt goes wrong.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2017/12/14 15:40:14


Post by: reds8n



truly it is the season for miracles.

Spoiler:






Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2017/12/18 10:36:35


Post by: reds8n


Kent is getting increasingly odd.


Spoiler:






.... makes the feeding of the 5,000 look a bit lame eh ?


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2017/12/18 10:43:35


Post by: Mad Doc Grotsnik


Increasingly?

Royal Tunbridge Wells not only had a Ninja Protector, but has our own legit Superhero.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2017/12/18 12:10:05


Post by: tneva82


 chromedog wrote:
 Kilkrazy wrote:
Technically not local but it's such a good story it has to be run...

Apology after Japanese train departs 20 seconds early

Management on the Tsukuba Express line between Tokyo and the city of Tsukuba say they "sincerely apologise for the inconvenience" caused.
In a statement, the company said the train had been scheduled to leave at 9:44:40 local time but left at 9:44:20.



We get the odd driver on trains into Sydney (it's a 2hr40 to 3hr trip depending on stopping pattern) apologising ("for the convenience") when they arrive early and then say that "it won't happen again.".

Tokyo is exceedingly polite, even when you are in the wrong, though. They apologise because it's not your fault you're an idiot.


And because this could actually inconvenience some people. The trains are so damn to the clock that you could use them to set your own watch. Or board blindfolded into one based on the clock and be sure the train is there.

They pretty much need to get official proof of train being late or boss won't likely believe he was late from work because train was not time(compare to Finland where my 10 train rides a week usually has at least 4 that are late). Imagine what nuisance missing train that left too early is!


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2017/12/18 12:13:02


Post by: Mad Doc Grotsnik


I'd prefer a train to be late rather than setting off early.

When it's late, it's late.

When it's early, you've just stuffed, even though you turned up at the right time.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2017/12/18 12:45:48


Post by: AlmightyWalrus


 Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:
I'd prefer a train to be late rather than setting off early.

When it's late, it's late.

When it's early, you've just stuffed, even though you turned up at the right time.


This. I understand it if something happens on the way to delay a train, but what excuse is there for leaving before you're supposed to?


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2018/01/11 19:55:33


Post by: Kilkrazy


Black pudding saves butcher trapped in freezer.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-devon-42648624



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2018/01/12 10:42:32


Post by: Skinnereal


 Kilkrazy wrote:
Black pudding saves butcher trapped in freezer.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-devon-42648624
You think he is skilled in Ecky-Thump?
http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Ecky-Thump
Wrong part of the world.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2018/02/02 15:32:35


Post by: reds8n


mildly NWS

Given his age, fair play to him


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2018/02/02 17:21:17


Post by: Steve steveson


They repeatedly say he “uses a walking stick”, which makes you wonder what for.

He then allegedly performed a solo sex act.


Not completely solo...


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2018/02/05 16:50:08


Post by: A Town Called Malus


Glad to see that the long arm of the law caught him with his trousers down.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2018/02/07 16:25:03


Post by: Kilkrazy


Thousands of children seeking treatment for addition

See what happens if you overdo your maths homework!


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2018/02/17 10:04:51


Post by: reds8n


https://wiadomosci.wp.pl/krowa-uciekla-przed-smiercia-w-rzezni-schronila-sie-na-wyspach-jeziora-nyskiego-6220543965361793a


great story from Poland

Spoiler:

A cow escaped from a transport to the slaughterhouse, smashed through a metal fence, broke the arm of an employee who tried to catch her, then swam to an island in the middle of a lake, where she remains 3 weeks later, attacking anyone who approaches



This follows on nicely from the previous Polish cow saga :

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-news-from-elsewhere-42803471


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2018/02/20 02:41:51


Post by: BaronIveagh


Unfortunately I have never been able to find it online but there was once a story on the local news station in Youngstown Ohio about the assassination of a tom turkey in near by Mercer County, and the wounding of the local land management agent in the ensuing shootout.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2018/02/23 21:17:04


Post by: reds8n


https://www.dailypost.co.uk/news/north-wales-news/animal-smuggler-caught-trying-bring-14326212

best bit is the photo :

Spoiler:




...did they really need to obscure them like that ?





Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2018/04/16 10:49:26


Post by: reds8n


https://www.gazettelive.co.uk/news/teesside-news/fury-after-morrisons-wouldnt-sell-14533827


"It should have been a simple case of pie and sell.

But Linda and Tony Gilkes were left piping hot with fury after their local Morrisons refused to sell them meat pies before 9am.


“I wanted eight large sausage rolls and two steak bakes,” said Linda, 62, from Thorntree.

“It was 8.45am and there were no pies at all displayed.

“I could see bags and bags of pies, all wrapped up on cages behind the counter. The trolley was ready to be pushed out.

“But when I asked for the pies, I was told: ‘We can’t sell the pies until 9am’. I could have had a fruit pie, but not a meat pie.”"



normal filler BS sort of story.

best line however :
But Tony suggested a more sinister explanation.

“There’s more to this,” he said. “Morrisons have got their own agenda."


.. Morrisons and their sinister pie selling agenda.

"She added: “They are dictating to me when I can buy pies and when I can shop.”"

Yes, that's what shops do.


the couple have had their odd moment of fame before :

https://www.gazettelive.co.uk/news/local-news/court-ends-campaign-hell-couple-3741918


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2018/04/16 15:20:10


Post by: Skinnereal


Sainsbury near me doesn't put them out until later, too. It's bigger than you think...


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2018/05/07 17:21:29


Post by: AndrewGPaul


Police appeal over 37 stolen garden gnomes

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-tayside-central-44030872


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2018/05/13 10:42:28


Post by: Kilkrazy


Cheating a bit here because this is the BBC's report of a local Oxford story.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-oxfordshire-44051839

But I'm put it up because I go down Delete Street every day on my commute to work.

It's a pity the city council has no sense of humour.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2018/05/13 11:06:24


Post by: reds8n


Tribunal hears Satan was using people in a “spiritual battle” within an Arbroath Christian group


.. sad to see the legendary prince of firey damnation reduced to such parochial doings.



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2018/05/13 12:21:47


Post by: Kilkrazy


The devil is in the details.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2018/05/14 19:04:45


Post by: AndrewGPaul


OK, so Auntie again, rather than a local news source, but

All-you-can-eat pizza festival apologises for lack of pizza

I mean, it's hardly rocket science.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2018/05/14 22:03:04


Post by: Easy E


 reds8n wrote:
Tribunal hears Satan was using people in a “spiritual battle” within an Arbroath Christian group


.. sad to see the legendary prince of firey damnation reduced to such parochial doings.



That is one hell of a story.

Honsetly, it sounds like something ripped right out of the Hobby Lobby board room.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2018/05/18 07:13:58


Post by: reds8n


stop the presses !




Automatically Appended Next Post:
bet they've been waiting to use that headline for years



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2018/06/01 17:18:54


Post by: AndrewGPaul


https://stv.tv/news/west-central/1416877-busy-road-closed-off-after-sink-hole-appears/

A golden opportunity to use the phrase, “Police are looking into it”, wasted.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2018/06/01 23:04:10


Post by: War Drone




I'm gonna go to hell for this, but WTF is that on the far right?


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2018/06/02 00:15:28


Post by: Iron_Captain


Last year a local news station here had a hilarious story about the police chasing a man with a broomstick on the roundabout of a small town in the middle of night. The guy apparently was under the impression that he was a witch and that he could fly. The police were successful in taking away his broomstick.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2018/06/02 08:45:42


Post by: AndrewGPaul


Police, or Dementors?


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2018/06/03 14:29:00


Post by: Chute82


Few yrs ago in my area we had a sex offender flashing the Amish ...so the local cop dressed up as a Amish women

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/04/15/police-officer-amish_n_5153848.html


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2018/06/23 12:10:05


Post by: Kilkrazy


Cheating again by picking local news from the BBC, but this is good...

Apology for Kingsbridge phone box nightclub damage

A Devon village which has a nightclub inside its old Post Office phone box.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2018/06/25 13:10:10


Post by: Iron_Captain


 Kilkrazy wrote:
Cheating again by picking local news from the BBC, but this is good...

Apology for Kingsbridge phone box nightclub damage

A Devon village which has a nightclub inside its old Post Office phone box.

The fact they apologised afterwards is so British. That would just never happen in the Netherlands. Or in Russia. British people are just so polite.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2018/06/25 13:27:53


Post by: Turnip Jedi


 Kilkrazy wrote:
Cheating again by picking local news from the BBC, but this is good...

Apology for Kingsbridge phone box nightclub damage

A Devon village which has a nightclub inside its old Post Office phone box.


you in the world of the big folk may sneer but you can get a fair few shire hobbits in there


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2018/06/25 16:02:52


Post by: oldravenman3025


 Kilkrazy wrote:
Cheating again by picking local news from the BBC, but this is good...

Apology for Kingsbridge phone box nightclub damage

A Devon village which has a nightclub inside its old Post Office phone box.




Heh. At least the cops don't have to haul people very far to sleep it off in the drunk tank.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2018/07/05 12:08:16


Post by: Humble Guardsman


https://www.9news.com.au/national/2018/06/29/06/06/queensland-shopkeeper-crestmead-fights-off-axe-wielding-robber

A store owner chased away a would-be robber with tomahawk by throwing cans of tuna and pringles at him. Good arm too.

The line at the end of the video is brilliant. "[If he returns] he could get baked beans, he could get soup. Just depends, which aisle. Any time."


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2018/07/17 17:24:22


Post by: reds8n


.. a new hero rises

Spoiler:






.... least he made a clean getaway eh ?



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2018/08/09 19:41:54


Post by: ChargerIIC


In true Bay Area tradition - if threatened by massive northern wildfires, what is there to do but ban fire?

CalFire Bans All Burning In Contra Costa

Bear in mind that open fires and fireworks are already illegal, so this really just bans the use of fireplaces on fireplace-permitted days (which are set by CalFire) and acts of spontaneous combustion.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2018/08/15 08:10:53


Post by: Kilkrazy


Parrot swears at London firefighter tyring to rescue it

The parrot speaks and probably swears in three languages.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2018/08/15 14:29:31


Post by: ChargerIIC


From the 'didn't understand that it was slang' department:

Video of Man Spanking Hippo at L.A. Zoo Sparks LAPD Investigation

Not even close to local, but worth mentioning:

India lawmaker dresses as Hitler to criticize prime minister

Chubby Hitler Warning:

Spoiler:


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2018/08/16 13:56:17


Post by: AndrewGPaul


This one's a video story:

Feral chickens overrun housing estate


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2018/08/18 09:44:06


Post by: reds8n


https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-gloucestershire-45222456


Memorial sculpture of Uley's gorilla John Daniel approved



A sculpture honouring a gorilla who lived in a Cotswolds village will be erected after receiving local approval.

The ape, called John Daniel, was adopted by Alyce Cunningham, from Uley, Gloucestershire, in 1918 after her brother bought it for £300 in London.

The animal was raised like a normal child, had its own bedroom and could use the light switch and toilet.

Stroud District Council has now granted planning permission for a sculpture of the ape on Uley village green.

The Uley Society's Dr Rod White said he hopes it will be formally unveiled "sometime in September or very early October".

John Daniel was captured as a baby in Gabon and brought to the UK, where Ms Cunningham's brother Rupert Penny saw it for sale in a department store.

She adopted the ape and nicknamed him Sultan.

Uley village archivist Margaret Groom said the villagers were very fond of him, and John would play with children, eat roses from gardens and drink cups of tea.



Once it grew to adult size Ms Cunningham could no longer look after it so, in 1921, she sold it to an American for one thousand guineas.

The gorilla died of pneumonia in the USA a year later.

She thought it would be sent to a home in Florida, but instead the ape ended up in Barnum and Baileys Circus.

There its health deteriorated, with reports reaching Ms Cunningham that the animal was pining for her.

She set sail for New York but the gorilla, by now aged four-and-a-half, died from pneumonia before she arrived.




drink cups of tea.


how to fit in regardless of race in the UK.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2018/08/18 11:41:44


Post by: Steve steveson


Just as long as you don’t put milk in earl gray, as a friend of mine from New Zealand does...


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2018/08/21 14:43:21


Post by: ChargerIIC


 Steve steveson wrote:
Just as long as you don’t put milk in earl gray, as a friend of mine from New Zealand does...


Screw that. As an American I know the right way is equal parts Earl Grey, Jack Daniels, and Coca Cola.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2018/08/22 16:57:20


Post by: reds8n


possibly a wee bit NWS

https://www.thecut.com/2018/08/are-baths-too-hot-for-testicles.html


Adult men get into a bath on hands and knees so the balls hit the water LAST


..err.

.. what ?


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2018/08/27 08:43:44


Post by: reds8n


It's an amazing time to be living in Gloucestershire :

Spoiler:










Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2018/08/28 11:29:19


Post by: tneva82


https://www.mtv.fi/uutiset/kotimaa/artikkeli/teekkarikyla-saa-vihdoin-oman-alkon-raittiusseura-aikoo-tyhjentaa-myymalan-hyllyt-yritamme-juoda-kaiken-itse-ettei-muiden-tarvitsisi/7047754#gs.t6eBLPA

Okay in Finnish so I try to explain what it's about. Basically Alko(Finland's alcoholic bewerages selling store. Stronger stuff like wine etc can't be bought on regular stores so you need to buy from Alko) is opening up store near where lots of students from Institute of technology live. Student's abstincence organization is going about organizing attempt to buy everything from the store so that they can "drink it all up so that other's don't have to"

Good luck! ;-)


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2018/08/28 11:58:25


Post by: Kilkrazy


The Google Translate version is a fun read.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2018/08/28 12:25:06


Post by: tneva82


Lol you are right


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2018/08/28 14:34:35


Post by: Iron_Captain


tneva82 wrote:
https://www.mtv.fi/uutiset/kotimaa/artikkeli/teekkarikyla-saa-vihdoin-oman-alkon-raittiusseura-aikoo-tyhjentaa-myymalan-hyllyt-yritamme-juoda-kaiken-itse-ettei-muiden-tarvitsisi/7047754#gs.t6eBLPA

Okay in Finnish so I try to explain what it's about. Basically Alko(Finland's alcoholic bewerages selling store. Stronger stuff like wine etc can't be bought on regular stores so you need to buy from Alko) is opening up store near where lots of students from Institute of technology live. Student's abstincence organization is going about organizing attempt to buy everything from the store so that they can "drink it all up so that other's don't have to"

Good luck! ;-)

"stronger stuff like wine". In Russia you can find wine in the lemonade section of the supermarket.
I thought the Finns were quite fond (as in too fond) of drinking as well. But you guys actually seem to have a lot of restrictions and such in place. Although I also just learned the word "kalsarikännit", which is hilarious


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2018/08/28 15:25:04


Post by: ChargerIIC


 Kilkrazy wrote:
The Google Translate version is a fun read.


Oh man - it's even better than the actual article:

The Polyteknik's Raittiusseura, which consists of teakers next week, plans to strike Alko in an effort to clear the shelves of the store. Participants are already gaining momentum on Facebook .

- PoRa spends 50 anniversary, I do not know whether it's a glory or how, but now Alko sets up her business here, so we decided to welcome Alko in a teak-inspiring way, the club president Antti Ihalainen clarifies.


Damn Teakers!


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2018/08/28 16:50:50


Post by: War Drone


I love the inspired name of the shop.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2018/08/28 17:44:00


Post by: ChargerIIC


ConFire Responds To Gateway Blvd. Building In Concord, Unable To Locate Unknown Odor

...Two people complained of a burning feeling in their eyes, but no major injuries were reported...


Alright...who dealt it?


Caltrans Employee Finds Rocket Launcher On Highway

...The launcher had already been discharge[sic] and was not a threat, according to Caltrans...


Arnold Schwarzenegger must have been driving up to San Francisco again







Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2018/08/28 21:19:46


Post by: tneva82


 Iron_Captain wrote:
tneva82 wrote:
https://www.mtv.fi/uutiset/kotimaa/artikkeli/teekkarikyla-saa-vihdoin-oman-alkon-raittiusseura-aikoo-tyhjentaa-myymalan-hyllyt-yritamme-juoda-kaiken-itse-ettei-muiden-tarvitsisi/7047754#gs.t6eBLPA

Okay in Finnish so I try to explain what it's about. Basically Alko(Finland's alcoholic bewerages selling store. Stronger stuff like wine etc can't be bought on regular stores so you need to buy from Alko) is opening up store near where lots of students from Institute of technology live. Student's abstincence organization is going about organizing attempt to buy everything from the store so that they can "drink it all up so that other's don't have to"

Good luck! ;-)

"stronger stuff like wine". In Russia you can find wine in the lemonade section of the supermarket.
I thought the Finns were quite fond (as in too fond) of drinking as well. But you guys actually seem to have a lot of restrictions and such in place. Although I also just learned the word "kalsarikännit", which is hilarious


Well we drink beer quite a lot which you can buy from any market. And stronger stuff is available in most places. And of course you can bring in(to a some limit) stuff from foreign countries so Estonia etc are popular places though now that tax went up there has decreased.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/03/28 08:39:47


Post by: Riquende


It's not a local paper, but imagine this story about anyone other than the Pope:

Pope Francis lets people kiss his ring again after video controversy


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/04/03 15:26:23


Post by: BuFFo


http://spacecoastdaily.com/2019/03/florida-prep-making-a-private-education-more-affordable-through-scholastic-achievement-awards/

Private school in my area has expanded it's awards programs for high achieving prospective students. The new rules can cover your entire tuition if you have a high grade average!

I love stories that reward high achievers!


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/04/03 22:44:10


Post by: nfe


 BuFFo wrote:
http://spacecoastdaily.com/2019/03/florida-prep-making-a-private-education-more-affordable-through-scholastic-achievement-awards/

Private school in my area has expanded it's awards programs for high achieving prospective students. The new rules can cover your entire tuition if you have a high grade average!

I love stories that reward high achievers!


Shame it will primarily help families who can afford tutors to get their children in.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/04/08 10:35:57


Post by: filbert


Oh yes, I read that the other day. Makes me feel so much better about my grey hoard.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/04/13 13:50:46


Post by: BuFFo


nfe wrote:
 BuFFo wrote:
http://spacecoastdaily.com/2019/03/florida-prep-making-a-private-education-more-affordable-through-scholastic-achievement-awards/

Private school in my area has expanded it's awards programs for high achieving prospective students. The new rules can cover your entire tuition if you have a high grade average!

I love stories that reward high achievers!


Shame it will primarily help families who can afford tutors to get their children in.


Yes, that is their target customer. No shame in that. It's a virtue.

-----------------------------------------



HA!!! That legit made me laugh loudly!!!! "Big Diaper" is not happy with this news, I bet

-----------------------------------------

New bear at my local Zoo! My wife and I got to see it before it became public ( teacher's pass thing ). Shy little thing was sticking her head in the shadow of a rock... Awwwwwwwww... Showing us her best side, I guess!

https://brevardzoo.org/bears/ - news article on the little gal

https://imgur.com/3XAhvaR - picture my wife took


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/05/12 10:34:13


Post by: Gael Knight


I'm in love with this site.

Suspected hell mouth on York Road turns out to be man sized pothole.

Spoiler:


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/05/12 20:11:29


Post by: Kilkrazy


Is that bloke a vicar!


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/05/12 20:41:50


Post by: Not Online!!!




And here i thought our Streets were in Bad shape...


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/05/13 01:34:00


Post by: BaronIveagh


 Kilkrazy wrote:
Is that bloke a vicar!


And, typical of British Government, he appears to be emerging from Hell.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/05/13 10:39:22


Post by: Kilkrazy


No no no!

British Government is now stuck semi-permanently in Limbo.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/05/13 10:46:03


Post by: Not Online!!!


 Kilkrazy wrote:
No no no!

British Government is now stuck semi-permanently in Limbo.


Purgatory you mean?


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/05/13 10:56:49


Post by: Steve steveson




The image is broken. I fear what the image was...


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/05/16 06:52:07


Post by: reds8n


further proof of the degradation of the UK

... guess if this happens in Redbridge the story might be different.



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/05/16 09:45:05


Post by: A Town Called Malus


 reds8n wrote:
further proof of the degradation of the UK

... guess if this happens in Redbridge the story might be different.



Hundreds are now queuing outside, excitedly waiting to bite into a beefy burrito or quesadilla.


Well, they're going to be disappointed.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/05/16 11:09:37


Post by: Kilkrazy


I went to Taco Bell in JFK airport in New York.

It killed any ideas I had that the USA is the land of great customer service.

It was an utter crap-piece and a waste of $3 or whatever it cost. I took one bite and left it. Never been back to a Taco Bell anywhere and never will.



Automatically Appended Next Post:
Oh no! I've broken the swear filter again!


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/05/16 18:00:16


Post by: Vulcan


 Kilkrazy wrote:
I went to Taco Bell in JFK airport in New York.

It killed any ideas I had that the USA is the land of great customer service.

It was an utter crap-piece and a waste of $3 or whatever it cost. I took one bite and left it. Never been back to a Taco Bell anywhere and never will.



Automatically Appended Next Post:
Oh no! I've broken the swear filter again!


Taco Bell is to Mexican food what McDonalds is to great hamburgers. It's quick, fast, fairly cheap... and about the quality you should expect from those three points. I suppose technically it is food, in that the human body can digest it and extract calories, but nutrition? Good flavor? Not so much.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/05/18 11:23:30


Post by: reds8n




not from a newspaper but still :


The British army versus the Monster of Ickham Pond


... makes you proud eh ?




Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/05/18 11:39:30


Post by: Duskweaver




A follow-up of sorts can be found HERE. The tiny fish seen in the video was not, in fact, the one causing all the trouble. A 1lb perch was caught with the aid of an electric stun-rod a few weeks later. Although the owner of the pond admitted that it was probably herons who had eaten most of his goldfish after all.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/07/06 08:56:45


Post by: reds8n


Big BIG news in New Zealand :



Spoiler:







that is, apparently, the whole story/article.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/07/09 18:00:08


Post by: ChargerIIC


I just want to take a moment and appreciate that our local K9 handlers actually named on of their drug finding dogs 'DanTest'

http://claycord.com/2019/07/07/retired-concord-police-k9-passes-away-dantest-worked-for-seven-years-in-the-city-of-concord/

That's an amazing K9 name right there


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/07/11 15:14:45


Post by: ChargerIIC


Not my locality, but dang:

Clay County Sherrif reports finding suspect due to the large sound of passing gas he emitted while hiding.

https://twitter.com/SheriffClayCo/status/1148610749402681344



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/08/15 10:39:15


Post by: reds8n


Spoiler:






....uh huh.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/08/15 10:45:04


Post by: Not Online!!!


 reds8n wrote:
Spoiler:






....uh huh.


Who is Samuel West?
Also, i thought the whole Deus Vult stick is something catholics do ?


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/08/29 18:32:40


Post by: ChargerIIC


Not local, but I admire the work that went into this headline. I'm pretty certain writing this made the author's day:

https://metro.co.uk/2019/08/29/volunteers-polish-giants-erection-hand-10648785/


Two families engaged in a 40 person brawl over a towel and a cuss word:
https://www.eastbaytimes.com/2019/08/27/40-people-in-brawl-over-towel-at-california-waterpark/



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/08/29 21:03:17


Post by: Voss


 Vulcan wrote:
 Kilkrazy wrote:
I went to Taco Bell in JFK airport in New York.

It killed any ideas I had that the USA is the land of great customer service.

It was an utter crap-piece and a waste of $3 or whatever it cost. I took one bite and left it. Never been back to a Taco Bell anywhere and never will.



Automatically Appended Next Post:
Oh no! I've broken the swear filter again!


Taco Bell is to Mexican food what McDonalds is to great hamburgers. It's quick, fast, fairly cheap... and about the quality you should expect from those three points. I suppose technically it is food, in that the human body can digest it and extract calories, but nutrition? Good flavor? Not so much.


Its the sawdust (the McDonalds comparison is giving them way too much credit).
Mind you expecting customer service from a Taco Hell that's also in an airport is just:


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/09/01 09:57:26


Post by: jhe90


https://www.kentlive.news/news/kent-news/dad-demands-refund-melted-3-3268699?fbclid=IwAR0mr1ANgqwSUwIJDml42pWHzsHNkKyRjb2mT9zhuNQ0xv7MJc-qUlkyOHg

Unhappy man photo template number 17A

Late taxi. Demands refund as ice cream melted.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/09/02 13:06:40


Post by: Slipspace


 jhe90 wrote:
https://www.kentlive.news/news/kent-news/dad-demands-refund-melted-3-3268699?fbclid=IwAR0mr1ANgqwSUwIJDml42pWHzsHNkKyRjb2mT9zhuNQ0xv7MJc-qUlkyOHg

Unhappy man photo template number 17A

Late taxi. Demands refund as ice cream melted.


Don't know what's worse: the pictures, the demand for a refund or the fact he lives 5 minutes walk from the shop.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/09/02 21:54:35


Post by: jhe90


Slipspace wrote:
 jhe90 wrote:
https://www.kentlive.news/news/kent-news/dad-demands-refund-melted-3-3268699?fbclid=IwAR0mr1ANgqwSUwIJDml42pWHzsHNkKyRjb2mT9zhuNQ0xv7MJc-qUlkyOHg

Unhappy man photo template number 17A

Late taxi. Demands refund as ice cream melted.


Don't know what's worse: the pictures, the demand for a refund or the fact he lives 5 minutes walk from the shop.


It's a hard choice.
Or the fact someone genuinely went there, and wrote a entire article about a man's melted ice cream tub.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/09/03 09:43:23


Post by: Slipspace


 jhe90 wrote:
Slipspace wrote:
 jhe90 wrote:
https://www.kentlive.news/news/kent-news/dad-demands-refund-melted-3-3268699?fbclid=IwAR0mr1ANgqwSUwIJDml42pWHzsHNkKyRjb2mT9zhuNQ0xv7MJc-qUlkyOHg

Unhappy man photo template number 17A

Late taxi. Demands refund as ice cream melted.


Don't know what's worse: the pictures, the demand for a refund or the fact he lives 5 minutes walk from the shop.


It's a hard choice.
Or the fact someone genuinely went there, and wrote a entire article about a man's melted ice cream tub.


As a trained journalist, that's unfortunately the reality of working for a local newspaper. The exciting next step up from "man stubs toe in street" is getting to sit in and report on local council meetings.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/09/03 10:29:58


Post by: Overread


Slipspace wrote:
 jhe90 wrote:
Slipspace wrote:
 jhe90 wrote:
https://www.kentlive.news/news/kent-news/dad-demands-refund-melted-3-3268699?fbclid=IwAR0mr1ANgqwSUwIJDml42pWHzsHNkKyRjb2mT9zhuNQ0xv7MJc-qUlkyOHg

Unhappy man photo template number 17A

Late taxi. Demands refund as ice cream melted.


Don't know what's worse: the pictures, the demand for a refund or the fact he lives 5 minutes walk from the shop.


It's a hard choice.
Or the fact someone genuinely went there, and wrote a entire article about a man's melted ice cream tub.


As a trained journalist, that's unfortunately the reality of working for a local newspaper. The exciting next step up from "man stubs toe in street" is getting to sit in and report on local council meetings.


Are you sure that's a step up? Surely having to spend ages sitting in on council meetings would be a punishment?
I mean unless you've got the Dibley local council


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/09/03 16:48:06


Post by: Not Online!!!


See, this happens when you remove local decision making, you bore Journalists


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/09/04 08:59:45


Post by: Slipspace


 Overread wrote:
Slipspace wrote:
 jhe90 wrote:
Slipspace wrote:
 jhe90 wrote:
https://www.kentlive.news/news/kent-news/dad-demands-refund-melted-3-3268699?fbclid=IwAR0mr1ANgqwSUwIJDml42pWHzsHNkKyRjb2mT9zhuNQ0xv7MJc-qUlkyOHg

Unhappy man photo template number 17A

Late taxi. Demands refund as ice cream melted.


Don't know what's worse: the pictures, the demand for a refund or the fact he lives 5 minutes walk from the shop.


It's a hard choice.
Or the fact someone genuinely went there, and wrote a entire article about a man's melted ice cream tub.


As a trained journalist, that's unfortunately the reality of working for a local newspaper. The exciting next step up from "man stubs toe in street" is getting to sit in and report on local council meetings.


Are you sure that's a step up? Surely having to spend ages sitting in on council meetings would be a punishment?
I mean unless you've got the Dibley local council


Nah, you get to stay inside the whole time. It's much more preferable!


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/09/14 20:56:41


Post by: Mad Doc Grotsnik


What’s worse is that dude is allegedly the same age as me.....yet looks nearer 60!


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/09/15 22:05:42


Post by: Elemental


You know how people sometimes go travelling to find themselves?

Spoiler:


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/09/17 18:58:40


Post by: Azreal13


A tree has fallen over! They're actually live tweeting from the scene...

https://www.devonlive.com/news/devon-news/live-updates-massive-tree-falls-3329790


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/09/17 19:30:10


Post by: Not Online!!!


 Azreal13 wrote:
A tree has fallen over! They're actually live tweeting from the scene...

https://www.devonlive.com/news/devon-news/live-updates-massive-tree-falls-3329790


Correct me if i am wrong but don't you have more pressing matters to attend to, like demanding a crusade against lootboxes?



Or you know, the B thingy?


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/09/17 19:33:29


Post by: Overread


 Azreal13 wrote:
A tree has fallen over! They're actually live tweeting from the scene...

https://www.devonlive.com/news/devon-news/live-updates-massive-tree-falls-3329790


Willows like to do that- grow big and then snap or break. Lost chunks of ours every so often in strong winds.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/09/17 19:41:39


Post by: Azreal13


Not Online!!! wrote:
 Azreal13 wrote:
A tree has fallen over! They're actually live tweeting from the scene...

https://www.devonlive.com/news/devon-news/live-updates-massive-tree-falls-3329790


Correct me if i am wrong but don't you have more pressing matters to attend to, like demanding a crusade against lootboxes?
Spoiler:




Or you know, the B thingy?


I'm not sure you're quite appreciating the severity of the situation.

Or quite how London-centric everything is in this country, this far from the capital this really does constitute news.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/09/17 19:45:11


Post by: Turnip Jedi


A massive tree, oh my days ! If only our local celeb hadn't squished himself with his digger, he'd put this right (especially if it was blocking pub access)

also the whole Brexit thing isn't much of a thing in the Shire, well till all the chipper East European waitress' get replaced by surly locals lass' much to the annoyance of the daft old dears that voted leave...


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/09/17 19:50:00


Post by: Not Online!!!


 Turnip Jedi wrote:
A massive tree, oh my days ! If only our local celeb hadn't squished himself with his digger, he'd put this right (especially if it was blocking pub access)

also the whole Brexit thing isn't much of a thing in the Shire, well till all the chipper East European waitress' get replaced by surly locals lass' much to the annoyance of the daft old dears that voted leave...

I broke out laughing.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/09/17 19:55:59


Post by: jhe90


Not Online!!! wrote:
 Turnip Jedi wrote:
A massive tree, oh my days ! If only our local celeb hadn't squished himself with his digger, he'd put this right (especially if it was blocking pub access)

also the whole Brexit thing isn't much of a thing in the Shire, well till all the chipper East European waitress' get replaced by surly locals lass' much to the annoyance of the daft old dears that voted leave...

I broke out laughing.


But giant trees...

Live tweets, news updates, spokes persons and special tree based collection of short interviews about it, and its history!

A good looking waitress shortage, if there's any issue to mobilise the land it's that one!


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/09/17 20:03:49


Post by: Not Online!!!


 jhe90 wrote:
Not Online!!! wrote:
 Turnip Jedi wrote:
A massive tree, oh my days ! If only our local celeb hadn't squished himself with his digger, he'd put this right (especially if it was blocking pub access)

also the whole Brexit thing isn't much of a thing in the Shire, well till all the chipper East European waitress' get replaced by surly locals lass' much to the annoyance of the daft old dears that voted leave...

I broke out laughing.


But giant trees...

Live tweets, news updates, spokes persons and special tree based collection of short interviews about it, and its history!

A good looking waitress shortage, if there's any issue to mobilise the land it's that one!


Well seems like that isn't a issue you can fight on the beaches and molehills.
Clearly a state of national emergency.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/09/18 18:03:12


Post by: ChargerIIC


Spoiler: Its about a broken AC unit. That being said, I dare you to read the headline and not giggle:

Lafayette Taco Bell Reopens After Closure Due To “Imminent Hazard”

I'm pretty certain Taco Bell could be renamed to 'Imminent Hazard' and still do the same business. We all know what we are getting into there.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/09/18 19:26:00


Post by: Easy E


 Azreal13 wrote:
Not Online!!! wrote:
 Azreal13 wrote:
A tree has fallen over! They're actually live tweeting from the scene...

https://www.devonlive.com/news/devon-news/live-updates-massive-tree-falls-3329790


Correct me if i am wrong but don't you have more pressing matters to attend to, like demanding a crusade against lootboxes?
Spoiler:




Or you know, the B thingy?


I'm not sure you're quite appreciating the severity of the situation.

Or quite how London-centric everything is in this country, this far from the capital this really does constitute news.


I recall when Hurrican Sandy passed by the coast of Florida on its way to pummel New York. Florida news had been wall-to-wall coverage of the impending Hurricane and how the end was nigh! Then the Hurricane changed course and bypassed Florida completely. They had a breaking news story about how the Hurricane had caused a tree to fall over near Daytona Beach, no one was hurt and there was no real property damage, but daftly they still sent a Live reporter to the scene to talk about and video tape the fact a tree fell over near Daytona Beach. They covered it breathlessly for about a 5 minute segment.

Florida Local News.... Fear and Hype 24/7/365!


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/09/18 19:31:14


Post by: jhe90


 Easy E wrote:
 Azreal13 wrote:
Not Online!!! wrote:
 Azreal13 wrote:
A tree has fallen over! They're actually live tweeting from the scene...

https://www.devonlive.com/news/devon-news/live-updates-massive-tree-falls-3329790


Correct me if i am wrong but don't you have more pressing matters to attend to, like demanding a crusade against lootboxes?
Spoiler:




Or you know, the B thingy?


I'm not sure you're quite appreciating the severity of the situation.

Or quite how London-centric everything is in this country, this far from the capital this really does constitute news.


I recall when Hurrican Sandy passed by the coast of Florida on its way to pummel New York. Florida news had been wall-to-wall coverage of the impending Hurricane and how the end was nigh! Then the Hurricane changed course and bypassed Florida completely. They had a breaking news story about how the Hurricane had caused a tree to fall over near Daytona Beach, no one was hurt and there was no real property damage, but daftly they still sent a Live reporter to the scene to talk about and video tape the fact a tree fell over near Daytona Beach. They covered it breathlessly for about a 5 minute segment.

Florida Local News.... Fear and Hype 24/7/365!


They where short on Florida man and meth gators.

Need something to fill the 24 hour network coverage.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/09/28 10:28:38


Post by: reds8n



Spoiler:







.... good to see they're slowly catching up with the rest of the country over in East AngliaNorfolk.


The mustard industry would have been reeling.



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/09/30 14:37:06


Post by: ChargerIIC


 reds8n wrote:

Spoiler:







.... good to see they're slowly catching up with the rest of the country over in East AngliaNorfolk.


The mustard industry would have been reeling.



Heh. Reminds me of when the Russians released thier 'old' nuclear response plans listing what their intended targets had been. Fresno, CA was listed for a 5 point MIRV and people were honestly offended. They could understand why you'd blow up San Francisco or LA, but felt it was just mean to target the city they lived in. Notwithstanding the fact that Fresno has two rifle units, a military transport unit, a military helicopter repair stations, and is a refueling point for air defense...

I imagined a tersely worded letter being sent to the Kremlin thanking them for remembering us but to please leave us out of the apocalypse next time...


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/09/30 16:36:55


Post by: Turnip Jedi


they ran that story down my way when the military base down the road re-opened, although in usual Shire fluid news style them evil commies wouldn't fire directly at the base but 5 miles the other way in the main town


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/09/30 19:33:21


Post by: ChargerIIC


 Turnip Jedi wrote:
they ran that story down my way when the military base down the road re-opened, although in usual Shire fluid news style them evil commies wouldn't fire directly at the base but 5 miles the other way in the main town


That's the beauty/horror of MIRVs. They would have nailed the military installations, the city, the nearby towns, and created a hell of an impassable (outside of NBC gear) hole in the map. Not that it would've mattered much since at that point the entire map could've been tossed out the window.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/10/02 13:08:33


Post by: Turnip Jedi


 ChargerIIC wrote:
 Turnip Jedi wrote:
they ran that story down my way when the military base down the road re-opened, although in usual Shire fluid news style them evil commies wouldn't fire directly at the base but 5 miles the other way in the main town


That's the beauty/horror of MIRVs. They would have nailed the military installations, the city, the nearby towns, and created a hell of an impassable (outside of NBC gear) hole in the map. Not that it would've mattered much since at that point the entire map could've been tossed out the window.


true but the limited 'research' they had done made up showed the blast radius falling fairly short of the base, admittedly this the early 80's, said same paper then got over-excited about UFOs that them sneaky aliens had disguised as the training planes the base used


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/10/02 16:30:41


Post by: LunarSol


Not sure if I've posted this before, but my moment of realizing I come from a very very small town was when I read this headline:

State Honey Queen to Visit Local Library


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/10/02 16:32:21


Post by: Chute82


Well this made national news and happened close to my house. This happens a few times a year around here but mostly in local paper

https://www.cnn.com/2019/09/18/us/amish-men-drinking-and-driving-trnd/index.html


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/10/04 11:44:41


Post by: Mad Doc Grotsnik


Ahhh, Christian Values.

https://www.kentlive.news/news/kent-news/tunbridge-wells-pre-school-forced-3390394

Oh. Wait. Church jacks up pre-school's hall rent by £10,000 a year.

WWJD?

Probably pod shot the Vicar, I'd imagine.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/10/04 12:38:44


Post by: Overread


I wonder how much they were paying before. It sounds like they were getting very little to possibly no rent and then raised it in line with other users of the hall. Of course in theory if they wanted the School to remain they should have raised it in stages not in a sudden £10K block.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/10/06 11:39:15


Post by: reds8n


Male cat needs glucose drip after mating with five females in one night in pet hotel



..the face...

Spoiler:









Best holiday ever !


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/10/06 11:43:13


Post by: Not Online!!!


This case is the embodiement of virility it seems.
Respect for the lad


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/10/07 14:24:00


Post by: ChargerIIC



The quotes! This is making my day:

"Between around 10.40pm and 5am, my cat mated with five female cats. And those are only the ones I could see in the CCTV footage!"


He said: "They had the nerve to be upset with me. They wanted me to explain the situation to all the other owners.

"My f***ing cat is exhausted and on a glucose drip, and this is my fault?"




Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/10/07 14:30:06


Post by: Overread


Honestly I'm amazed that an exhausted male and a few pregnant females is the only problem they had! Letting a whole load of random cats roam free a night without ANY staff supervision is just asking for trouble! Heck even with staff supervision letting a load of random cats who don't know each other roam free is asking for a nightmare of catfights, stress and problems.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/10/10 11:02:16


Post by: Mad Doc Grotsnik


Student of Ninja History writes exam in invisible ink.

Gets top marks,

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-49996166


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/10/10 18:00:44


Post by: Turnip Jedi


shop built on reclaimed Marsh isn't on the level....

https://www.devonlive.com/news/devon-news/shoppers-say-devon-supermarket-a-3408638


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/10/13 08:29:19


Post by: reds8n


Front-page NYT story, 1908

Spoiler:












Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/10/14 18:05:24


Post by: reds8n


not sure if that's his actual job or more of an honorary title.

Spoiler:






Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/10/17 12:14:04


Post by: Azreal13


https://www.devonlive.com/news/local-news/m5-traffic-stopped-because-swan-3436195

One of the UK's most important road routes (for the uninitiated, 'M' roads are our equivalent of an Interstate or an Autobahn) was shut because of a bird.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/10/17 12:17:03


Post by: Skinnereal


But, it's a swan. The Queen's bird...

Yeah, our roads are liability in so many ways.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/10/18 10:39:57


Post by: Not Online!!!


https://www.nzz.ch/international/deutsches-umweltministerium-schweiz-soll-akw-stilllegen-ld.1515693

Das Eidgenössische Departement für Umwelt, Verkehr, Energie und Kommunikation teilte auf Anfrage mit, man habe den Brief des deutschen Umweltministeriums zur Kenntnis genommen. Die Schweizer Energiepolitik werde aber von zwei Volksabstimmungen gestützt: Im Jahr 2016 lehnten die Schweizer die Atomausstiegsinitiative ab und nahmen ein Jahr später die sogenannte Energiestrategie 2050 an, die kein Abschaltdatum für die Kernkraftwerke vorsieht.


TLDR: German SPD politician complains about Nuclear energy, complains about not beeing regarded in Swiss decision for energy planning. Ignoring two seperate popular votes and basically intervening in internal politics as determined by their own meassurements.
Ironic due to the German decision on Nuclear energy having endangered swiss supply without regard for swiss populations.

Zur Kenntnis genommen / Or to be aware off is generally the statement swiss burecracy gives if they have recived something like this and just thrown it in the rubbish.

One would think we are a Reichskommisariat it seems in the mind of the german state


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/10/29 21:55:24


Post by: Easy E




It was actually filed under Blood for the Blood God.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/11/02 08:14:02


Post by: sajmonikpl1


Straight from Poland!: "My wife beats me with a ham"


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/11/02 18:19:16


Post by: Not Online!!!


sajmonikpl1 wrote:
Straight from Poland!: "My wife beats me with a ham"


wait what?
Have you a picture?


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/11/19 21:57:45


Post by: Necros


Dunno if this was posted before, but looks like someone forgot a hyphen.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/12/03 13:36:15


Post by: Kilkrazy


I hope that story had a happy ending.

Now from the BBC, Man's Best Friend in Action...

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-50641442


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/12/03 13:57:34


Post by: Not Online!!!


 Kilkrazy wrote:
I hope that story had a happy ending.

Now from the BBC, Man's Best Friend in Action...

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-50641442


Why would you do something as stupid as that, storing food in the microwave and having a dog running around....
That just begs for something like this to happen.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/12/04 00:10:51


Post by: BaronIveagh


Not Online!!! wrote:
do something as stupid as that, storing food in the microwave and having a dog running around....
That just begs for something like this to happen.



This is the world where a woman tried to dry off her cat in the microwave.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/12/04 00:19:05


Post by: Overread


We've put food in the microwave to store loads of times - specifically because we have a dog (which is also a husky). Got some meat that's not cold enough for the fridge yet you want to keep it out of the dog's reach - microwave. Just made a sandwich and don't want it stolen when you leave the room - microwave.

Thankfully ours hasn't worked out how to open it and it is only short term storage not long term.


Also, even with nothing inside, microwaves can build up a lot of heat if left running with nothing inside.



That all said - I'm not surprised a bored husky got itself in trouble. They are inquisitive canines!


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/12/04 14:58:40


Post by: Easy E


I keep a loaf of bread in the microwave otherwise my cats will eat it.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/12/04 16:55:56


Post by: John Prins


 Easy E wrote:
I keep a loaf of bread in the microwave otherwise my cats will eat it.


Whatever happened to ancient bread-box technology?


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/12/04 17:28:23


Post by: Easy E


 John Prins wrote:
 Easy E wrote:
I keep a loaf of bread in the microwave otherwise my cats will eat it.


Whatever happened to ancient bread-box technology?


It is more efficient when a tool can serve multiple purposes such as a container AND a heating device.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/12/04 18:28:46


Post by: Kale


I was hoping for 'the cats ate it'


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/12/05 16:02:47


Post by: Vulcan


No, it was the pet beavers that ate the breadbox, forcing the bread to go into the microwave.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/12/06 21:14:18


Post by: Easy E


Kale wrote:
I was hoping for 'the cats ate it'


D'oh!



I couldn't put it in the bread box because the cat was in it!


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/12/06 23:06:35


Post by: Not Online!!!


 Easy E wrote:
Kale wrote:
I was hoping for 'the cats ate it'


D'oh!



I couldn't put it in the bread box because the cat was in it!


Now that is one cut e cat.

Whats it's name?


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/12/07 19:58:47


Post by: BaronIveagh


 John Prins wrote:


Whatever happened to ancient bread-box technology?


He speaks of Kitchen Archeotech! Seize him!


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/12/07 20:24:40


Post by: John Prins


 BaronIveagh wrote:
 John Prins wrote:


Whatever happened to ancient bread-box technology?


He speaks of Kitchen Archeotech! Seize him!


Ignorant heretek, breadboxes are made according to STC templates at the nearest Forge World and appropriately blessed by the Omnissiah. Note that the machine spirits seem to dislike croissants, causing a cascade failure of the bread stabilizer resulting in the irradiation of nearby personnel. For safety reasons, store any butter at least one meter from the breadbox. Conduct the necessary Rites of Crumbling Evacuation regularly to avoid any risk of fire or vermin that might defile the holy breadbox.


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/12/10 06:19:12


Post by: Flying Pooo


Some Headlines from the Northern Territory. Straya.
Some may be slightly crude and NSFW. They were sensible enough for front page news in Australia.
Australia is not known for its sensibility though...


Nice
Spoiler:

In Australia it's not just the animals that can hurt you. Their testies are also dangerous.
Spoiler:

Front page worthy news
Spoiler:

That's embarrassing.
Spoiler:

Just a passion fruit.
Spoiler:

The truth is out there.
Spoiler:

An Amazing headline.
Spoiler:

Australian cats are adorable.


Spoiler:

Poor guy
Spoiler:

Australia isn't just dealing with regular droughts.
Spoiler:

SAD
Spoiler:

Unapologetic.
Spoiler:


A nice trend.
Spoiler:

Spoiler:

Spoiler:



Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/12/10 10:20:14


Post by: Not Online!!!


The last three :
Spoiler:




Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/12/10 16:04:42


Post by: ChargerIIC


Didn't' know that firecracker butt launching was a sport in Australia. Its like everyone who survived the wildlife is doing their best to see what, if anything, can kill them


Great Stories from Local Newsapers @ 2019/12/11 00:15:11


Post by: BaronIveagh


 ChargerIIC wrote:
Didn't' know that firecracker butt launching was a sport in Australia. Its like everyone who survived the wildlife is doing their best to see what, if anything, can kill them


They are the only troops to try taking on the Nazis without bothering with ammunition.