So a couple of days after posting hopefully here, alas, I have my rejection. I feel I may as well post my tests here:

The servos in Brother Markos' bionic leg whirred as he swung his body out of the path of the greenskin; his superhuman reflexes the only thing stopping his arm being torn from his black-armoured body by a blade of screaming teeth.
He regained his balance, but the ork was unrelenting and Markos was propelled to the floor. The beast was on top of him, drool pooling on his breastplate, but Markos' iron fist careered into its jaw, throwing the monster off him.
A guttural roar left the greenskin's mouth as it charged again, teeth bared in a foul grimace, weapon abandoned on the cold steel of the factory floor. Markos knew its primitive yellow-daubed armour would be redundant against a bullet exploding in its skull. It was weak. He unleashed his fury at the alien, the sound of his weapon reassuring him, echoing off the steel walls.
He hit twice. Shoulder. Stomach. Still the beast ran. And then he saw. Markos knew the creature's plan. His enhanced legs propelled him away from the crude explosives strapped to the ork's body, too late. As the blast ripped through him, he chastised himself for not noticing the biggest threat. The Iron Hands' mission was compromised because of his weakness. He hoped the orks found him, alive. He hoped they tore his weak flesh from his bones, leaving only unfailing steel. His final act was to remove his helmet, he wanted to look his killer impassively in the eye when he died.


And the second:

"You are power! You are precision!" growled a bear's voice in Brother Ospinus' earpiece; his sergeant was in mid-flow.
The bear thundered on. "You are here to do a job, and you will do that job!" Ospinus was to be second to disembark, following Lyceus and his heavy bolter, securing the dropsite.
"Look to your left. Look to your right, brothers!" Ospinus' eyes lingered over their unscathed blue armour, pristine bolters, unsullied faces.
"These brothers will have your back! You will have theirs!" Ospinus only half listened, his gaze had been caught by the rocky pillars of the planet below, a forest of stone trying to swat them from the sky.
"Look at the badge each of you wear on your shoulder!" The sergeant's voice was a frenzied roar. "That is the seal of Ultramar, you are Ultramarines!
"You are honour! You are vengeance!" This was a daemon world. Its rocky skin hosted an iridescent sheen, giving it an ethereal quality.
"They will not repent!" The ruinous powers had infiltrated the minds of the planet's elite before spreading like poison, choking it, smothering it.
"But you shall know no fear!" Ospinus did not feel fear, only a sense of duty. He had a duty to destroy this heresy at its source.
"Disembark!"
The land speeder's descending arc had positioned it over the dropsite, and as Brother Ospinus leapt towards the unknown ground, he was sure he heard a bear become a cub and murmur "May the Emperor guide our bolters."

I have the impression reading each rejection, that the more recent rejections are better than the earlier ones.

Perhaps GW is whittling down an ever decreasing pool of submissions? Keeping their favourites and then repeating the process of rejecting from those.

 Wulfmar wrote:
I have the impression reading each rejection, that the more recent rejections are better than the earlier ones.

Perhaps GW is whittling down an ever decreasing pool of submissions? Keeping their favourites and then repeating the process of rejecting from those.

Could be. But, and I don't know if this is the same for everyone, they did say I could try again. So they'll end up going around in circles if they're trying to whittle it down, whilst new ones are still coming in on top of

 Thunderfrog wrote:
I literally started my first email with " I would like to write about Naestra and Arahan because..."


And they rejected me saying I didn't tell them what I wanted to write about and why.

Has anyone else noticed this comment?


I sure hope you didn't just make that up because if that's true that is hilarious.

Akragth wrote:
Welp, today I joined the rejection club. For reference, I submitted on March 24th.

I don't really mind the rejection, but some of the criteria I supposedly failed to show were clearly displayed in the writing, so it was a little annoying on that front. It left me wondering if they'd properly read it, really, lol.

Same here. I've got no interest in writing more if they don't bother reading it

For anyone still awaiting a reply, I reckon that means you're in a good position. I sent in my test submissions Tuesday morning and received a rejection by mid-day Thursday. Unless they have a really wonky queuing system, you're probably in the running.

I literally didn't hit a single one of the objectives with either test piece apparently!

Test 1:


The force of the impact drove Brother-Chaplain Archidon backwards, his armour’s servos grinding in protest as the creature’s vast bulk pummelled into him, threatening to topple the pair from the towering ramparts. Rank, stinking breath washed over the Imperial Fist as he delivered a bone-shattering punch into the Ork’s torso. The beast bellowed, cruel features, tattooed with a crimson pair of crossed axes, distending in a grimace, the ramshackle rocket pack strapped to its back still burning.


Locked together, the greenskin tried to sink its crude blade down into the seam between the black polished ceramite of Archidon’s breast plate and his skull faced helm. Despite the immense strain, Archidon heaved upwards to meet the strike, the jagged weapon turning to one side as it deflected off his armour’s raised gorget. Staggering and off balance, the xenos’s grip on the Marine faltered, allowing the Chaplain to plunge a gauntleted hand deep into the machinery on its back. While the rocket pack sputtered, he kicked the creature away and reached for his fallen weaponry. Long streamers of past battle honours billowed from his armour’s pauldrons as he rose, firing round after round into the xenos, forcing it back. As it reached the parapet, the Astartes thumbed the activator on his Crozius, a deep hum greeting him in return. Closing the gap, he swung the ancient weapon round in a brutal swipe, the skull topped Aquilla shattering tusk and bone, and plunging the screaming creature over the edge into the darkness below.



Test 2:


The jungle clearing was eerily quiet, save for the metallic cracking of the Marines’ cooling drop pods, and the soft, whirring motors of assault cannons as their accompanying Deathstorm launches scanned the treeline. Sergeant Ennius carefully surveyed the scene, the dying light gleaming off the burnished gold chapter markings that adorned the deep sapphire of his battle plate.


Arrayed around him were nine of Ultramar’s finest, a full squad of the Ultramarines’ Tenth Company. His men waited patiently, checking their gear for any damage during the drop.


“Brothers, the Strike Cruiser Fidelis and elements of 4th Company will break orbit three days from now. Be that as it may, our current theoreticals predict that Geoven-6 will fall to the Tyranid host long before they arrive.


“Our best hope of prolonging this conflict is if we can relieve the xenos pressure on the capitol by breaking the back of their forces in this region. Auspex scans place a Synapse creature of significant power within the vicinity, and we need it dead.”


The Astartes knew the odds of survival without support were slim, but in the faces of the Marines before him, Ennius saw nothing but grit and determination staring back.


“You are the Emperor’s finest, and we will not fail our oaths of duty and honour this day. The blood of Guilliman flows through our veins, it is time to remind these abominations of the consequences of challenging the dominance of Ultramar.


“Squad, you have a new practical – kill the xenos.”

Just got my rejection email, over 2 months after submitting my own briefs. Evidently I didn't get one thing right that they asked for, either...

I've still heard nothing after 2.3 months.

I was thinking that myself, that working for GW must be one of the most frustrating experiences of all time.

It's not often I find myself wanting to come to GW's defence these days, but there's really nothing out of the ordinary going on here. There was no promise to respond after a month. And the fact that they're still plodding through replies, late as they may be, is somewhat commendable. For a large part of freelance work rejection comes as a form letter if you're lucky.

The idea of waiting months for payment really isn't all that foreign to most writers either. The phrase "Paid on Publication" has sent shivers down many a writer's spine when the bill collector comes knocking.


Automatically Appended Next Post:
Plus, as has already been mentioned, we're not likely to hear success stories with the way GW likes to throw things like NDAs around.

 hungryp wrote:
It's not often I find myself wanting to come to GW's defence these days, but there's really nothing out of the ordinary going on here. There was no promise to respond after a month. And the fact that they're still plodding through replies, late as they may be, is somewhat commendable. For a large part of freelance work rejection comes as a form letter if you're lucky.

The idea of waiting months for payment really isn't all that foreign to most writers either. The phrase "Paid on Publication" has sent shivers down many a writer's spine when the bill collector comes knocking.


Automatically Appended Next Post:
Plus, as has already been mentioned, we're not likely to hear success stories with the way GW likes to throw things like NDAs around.

You're likely right, I don't have experience with this sort of written work. My previous and current written work is for scientific journals - so I'm used to a situation where a deadline is a deadline and there is no negotiation (and that goes both ways, the guys on the other end have to get back to you by the time they state - otherwise depending on the paper, legal action may be taken or a competitor will submit). This all just seems.... Well, I'm not keen on it?

That thought crossed my mind as well. Back when I played regularly, during 5th edition, I would drive out to Games Workshop maybe once a month (it was in the next town over). I'd hang out for a few hours with the staff. Trouble was, every other month all the staff would be replaced. The first month they'd talk about the hobby, the second month they'd rag on GW.

Still, I'd take the job just for the credit.


Automatically Appended Next Post:
After a little bit of thought, I want to add on to that. I'd take the job for the credit, sure. But what's more, despite all the nonsense of GW's policies and the substandard quality of their game, the ideas and themes present in Warhammer 40k continue to influence me.

I don't want to work in a GW store selling miniatures because I don't think that's what's ultimately important about 40k. I want to contribute to this massive allegory of human existence. Maybe my half page story will open someone else up to the larger ideas in 40k so they can think critically about them, just as it happened to me.

Work has been brutal, hence my absence for the past month, but I've finally completed a couple of projects.

Here are my test briefs:

The Test Brief Part 1
As the Bad Moons convoy raced along the defile, Veteran Sergeant Fe’ron triggered the melta bombs. The lead truck exploded as the defile’s walls collapsed, burying the rear trucks. This was one convoy that would not assault the sprawling Maysa spaceport or the millions of evacuees.

Fe’ron launched, leading the assault. “Into the fires of battle!”

“Unto the anvil of war!” His squad completed the Salamanders’ battle cry.

Below, orks piled out of the wrecks. Hearing the roar of jump packs, the greenskins raised their heads and fired wildly. Bolter shells ricocheted off green power armor. Fe’ron cut power to his jump pack. Plummeting, he slammed an ork into the sands. With a bellow, the greenskin slashed at his left greave, the crude cleaver gouged ceramite.

Thumbing the activation rune, Fe’ron hacked down with his ornate chainsword. The revving teeth bit into a gold-plated bracer, then snarled through the underlying leather and flesh.

Roaring, the ork brought up a fat pistol. Fe’ron brought down his plasma pistol, and ignoring the jittering targeting reticule, fired into the ork’s slavering maw. The blinding energy pulse blasted through the back of its throat.

When a status icon on his tactical display flashed red, Fe’ron snapped his head up and saw Battle-brother Ki’tor tossed onto the burning wreck by the huge ork mob leader bulling its way through the fires.

When the greenskin saw Fe’ron, it charged, bellowing, “Waaagh!” Triggering his jump pack, Fe’ron barreled into it, hammering his flame-embossed pauldron into its tusks.


The Test Brief Part 2
On the flickering hololith, Espadarosa, capital of Manos-Piedras, burned.

“Long-range augur probes show that the situation has… improved. The loyalists have driven off Governor Ruthven and his heretical forces.” Sergeant Cyprian tapped another rune on the strategium's control panel. The image zoomed out to the whole peninsula.

“Reports from the surface indicate Ruthven fled to his ancestral family estate.” The image scrolled across the ocean, to an archipelago, and then zoomed into to one island and its palatial mountain estate. On one scout, Cyprian regarded the emerging smirk.

“Alexandros, what is warfare to the Great Enemy?”

Beneath his camo-cloak, the scout straightened. “‘All warfare is based on deception,’ Sergeant.”

“Hmph. Reports state Ruthven’s shuttle arrived at the estate. However, no one has actually seen him. Your primary objective is still to confirm Ruthven’s whereabouts.” Cyprian tapped a rune. The image zoomed in onto the estate nestled in a caldera. Structural layouts arranged themselves around the central image. Lastly, a geological survey completed the underground terrain. “Not on these plans are the ferrocrete-reinforced crater walls and anti-air defense emplacements.”

Cyprian turned to another scout frowning at the hololith. “Nicanor, means of infiltration?”

“Lava tubes honeycomb the island. Any of the many openings would provide a means of infiltration and exfiltration, Sergeant.”

For the first time, Cyprian smiled. “For exfil, a Thunderhawk will wait in this sea cave.” He tapped another rune. “These are your primary, secondary, and tertiary routes. Memorize them.”

At briefing’s end, Cyprian watched them file out, grudgingly satisfied.


And I received my rejection letter on 28 May, so it took them 59 days to reply (I submitted on 30 March). And of the 10 criteria, both my test briefs did not meet any of them, not a one. The rejection letter does go on to say that I am welcome to retry should I wish (with all new pieces of course).

I don't understand this at all. If both my pieces failed on every single criteria, why invite me to retry? I could understand if my briefs had met some of the criteria, but to not meet any, I would figure would mean that I should look elsewhere for publication opportunities.

I'm undecided if I want to continue to pursue this or not as I do have more time to focus on writing if I wish to do so. In any case, I'll be posting my briefs in that fiction thread.

 Wulfmar wrote:
Submission: 25/03/2015 - accepted
Chaser e-mail: 01/05/2015 - no reply
Second chaser e-mail: 21/05/2015 - nothing yet

Update: 12/06/2015 - still no reply to any email sent.

79 days since submission received and nothing.

Aye. Likewise in my world as well. Not even the faintest whisper of a reply since that submission day so long ago: March 24th, 2015.

I keep the message in my inbox, filled with a naive hope that it will suddenly turn bold with a new reply. And yet, day after day, I'm met with... not disappointment, but a begrudging acceptance of fate. In truth, most days I do think quite little of those submissions, and the chance granted to us all.

But on the quieter nights, when alone to my thoughts, I dream... I dream of the world where my email notifications greet me with a new dawn, filled with an unwritten future that my imagination and keyboard will create.

Hm, submission on March 31st, rejection on June 12th. It seems that longer replies do not correlate better prospects because they didn't think my work met any criteria. Work I thought superior to my own also 0/10'd. I've only seen one person able to meet any criteria.

I can submit again, but I think I'll wait a little while. Perhaps if someone else can meet a couple more criteria we'll have a better picture of what they want.

My submission met 3 of their criteria (points 2,3 and 4), which I guess is something to be happy about. I'm still of a half mind as to if I'm going to re-apply or not though...

My pieces hit 4 and 1 of the criteria respectively.

I reapplied, and got rejected again, but without any explanation the second time xD

 Thunderfrog wrote:
I was thinking that myself, that working for GW must be one of the most frustrating experiences of all time.

As an ex-GW freelancer (Flesh Tearers and great gobs of the Armageddon campaign, among other things), I can tell you it is pretty cool. You get to work on funky stuff, you may get the occasional preview, if you are in the area you might get invited to the Studio - and while you can take money for your work, you get offered a lot more in product which, if you are into these games, is a good move.

However...

With the amount of interest in writing for them, they are kinda doing you the favour - I know how that sounds, but look at it this way,. Competition is _fierce_. If you don't like how they work, pull out and give someone else a chance. Otherwise, hang in there and they will get back to you. It is very much a buyer's market when it comes to games writing because so many people want to take a crack at it.

I can also well believe they are heavily over-subscribed with submissions and, speaking as a publisher now, that can take time to do things properly.

So, hang in there if you are still in the running. Remember that just because you think something is good, it does not mean an editor will. And that if they get back to you in six months time, it will still be worthwhile.

Just be patient

MongooseMatt wrote:
As an ex-GW freelancer...

you get offered a lot more in product which, if you are into these games, is a good move.

Thank you for your great insight mate, I genuinely appreciate your post and it has made me reconsider being churlish about it as it seems a lot of other folks are getting different feedback, so they must be actually reading something.

Can you explain more about the offers of product? Do you know what I would do for plasticrack? DO YOU?

They pay you in miniatures??? Where's my pen!? Time to write my resubmission

kb_lock wrote:

MongooseMatt wrote:
As an ex-GW freelancer...

you get offered a lot more in product which, if you are into these games, is a good move.

Thank you for your great insight mate, I genuinely appreciate your post and it has made me reconsider being churlish about it as it seems a lot of other folks are getting different feedback, so they must be actually reading something.

Can you explain more about the offers of product? Do you know what I would do for plasticrack? DO YOU?

I completely misread this as "do with plasticrack", and was about to say "I don't know, but it probably involves a grinder, a straw and a codex!"
... Although I too would like to know about being paid in plastic.

Their advert has been taken down, but they did say there was no time limit.

I've submitted a request for them to test me. I don't want to feth my chances up by posting my email here. Once I've had some kind of reply, or if they don't reply over the next few weeks, I'll post my email and everyone can point at me and laugh.

A reply!

I didn't meet a single criteria according to GW.

I'm no expert but I reckon saying NO criteria met is a bit... yea

Who knows, maybe someone else will like the writing style

I don't see a lot wrong with that, Wulfmar. I've read a lot of army books/codex over the years, and it's just as good as some of the stuff that's been included.

Thanks Do_I_Not_Like_That

They did the customary 'you can resubmit' offer but I won't be as I can't figure out what they're after.

Yeah Wulfmar, I only read the first, but it was pretty excellent by GW short story standards! I think your use of some of the big words scared the reader at GW.

0 out of 10 (and I'm trying to remember the prompts) sounds like somebody didn't even give you a token effort.

I got the initial rejection in less than 24 hours, saying that my enthusiasm is wonderful but what I want to write about does not match what the Games Workshop is looking for.

I told them I want to write anything: 40K, Warhammer and the Heresy, and why I wanted to write for them. I also said I'd do comic book dialogue. I did not give specific story ideas.

Therefore, according to the email, writing about Games Workshop products is not what the Games Workshop is looking for.

I believe the initial rejection is actually the first test and the writing samples are the second test.

I've finished my Scouts story and will work on the battle story tonight or tomorrow.

Are they looking for grammar issues with these? Several of the last few submissions that were posted had some issues with grammatical tense. Just curious how picky they are being.

When I get home, I am hoping to have some time to offer feedback on people's entries for next time the GW open their doors. I agree with Samurai_Eduh though, the grammar and punctuation are not brilliant in some of them.

Bear in mind that all my information is a few years old - this is pre-Mongoose days so perhaps around 15 years ago. Maybe a bit more. It was in the Paul Sawyer as Editor of White Dwarf days. To give my credentials, I started off by doing bits and pieces for the Journal, moved onto the Battlefleet Gothic magazines, and then on to White Dwarf. I was also drafted to do work on the Armageddon 3 background (not completely unfair for me to claim that possibly the majority of the background text and scenarios on the Armageddon web site was mine). I can put a claim in for the background behind the Flesh Tearers, the original Death Company Dreadnought (you are welcome ), what happened at Gaius Point, the annihilation of a Titan Legion (I forget which one), the Apocalypse and Armageddon class ships... a bunch of other stuff....

Ohm, and got my rear end handed to me by Andy Chambers in a WD battle report once, Black Templars versus his Orks. And the result of that battle is the reason Ghazghkull is still a thing

kb_lock wrote:

Thank you for your great insight mate, I genuinely appreciate your post and it has made me reconsider being churlish about it as it seems a lot of other folks are getting different feedback, so they must be actually reading something.

Can you explain more about the offers of product? Do you know what I would do for plasticrack? DO YOU?

In the old days (and it would make sense if this still happened), you got a certain amount per page in White Dwarf - think it was £50, if I recall right. However, they offered you double that in product - which is kinda a no-brainer if you are in to their games (incidentally, I took that idea and now do the same with writing for Mongoose!).

You did not get anything for Journal or BFG magazine, that was for the honour of doing it. However, it did lead directly to my White Dwarf writing, and that led to the Armageddon work - mainly because, and I quote Mr Sawyer, I delivered the text I said I was going to deliver, when I said I was going to deliver it. That is kinda important.

 Wulfmar wrote:
Thanks Do_I_Not_Like_That

They did the customary 'you can resubmit' offer but I won't be as I can't figure out what they're after.

Number One Rule of Freelance Writing: Do not give up.

Ultimately, it comes down to what you want. Do you want to write for GW? In which case, keep plugging away at it. If you were just doing it for a bit of fun, step aside for someone else - competition for this will be _fierce_, and it will take time, and it will take effort.

Remember, and this is a really crass way of putting it but it gets the point across - right now, they are doing you the favour just by reading your entry. If you are successful and jump through all the hoops (there will be more to come after this), you might just be able to turn that around in the other direction. That is just the reality of freelance writing, especially when so many people want to get involved.

 NoPoet wrote:
I got the initial rejection in less than 24 hours, saying that my enthusiasm is wonderful but what I want to write about does not match what the Games Workshop is looking for.

I told them I want to write anything: 40K, Warhammer and the Heresy, and why I wanted to write for them. I also said I'd do comic book dialogue. I did not give specific story ideas.

Therefore, according to the email, writing about Games Workshop products is not what the Games Workshop is looking for.

Yeah...

I think I know what they are saying here,

Okay, this is not something I am sure I can adequately put into words (a failing as a writer, I acknowledge). There is a _very_ specific tone/theme/style to Warhammer writing and that, just as much as correct grammar, pacing, etc, is what they are looking for. People who 'get' it.

Now you will ask 'what is that style?' And I am not sure I can put it into meaningful words beyond what they have already said in their writing direction (perhaps it is worth taking a gander at the description of Warhammer novels on the Black Library submission page as well).

I can tell you that on a visit to the Studio they explained their philosophy for writing Warhammer based on real world archetypes - you cannot just take an archetype and translate it into Warhammer. You need to do it through a Warhammer-tinted lens. The example they used was the Space Wolves. They are not just Vikings in space, they have been twisted/altered by the Warhammer 40k lens into what they are now, so you can see the Viking in them, but they have been developed into something far 'more'.

Not sure if any of that will help anyone (!), but I will say that if you really, really, _really_ want this, keep cracking at it. Keep sending stuff in. Perhaps keep sending stuff in without a mandate from them (unless they tell you to stop!). When you get rejected, figure out where you went wrong, revise your text, then send it back in. Get involved in the Black Library open calls. See if Forge World want anything written. If you can, visit Nottingham and Warhammer World, and make yourself known. Don't be a nuisance, but make it clear you a) have talent and b) want your foot in the door.

The first thing I ever submitted to GW was an article on Aero-Titans for Epic, when I was 14 or 15 years old. It was crap. I then submitted rules for helicopters in Dark Future. They were probably worse. But when I came back in my twenties, Jervis remembered me, and it all helped getting material in the Journal (probably helped that my writing then sucked a whole lot less). But sometimes it works out - I got to define what I humbly think (!) is the very coolest successor chapter of the lot.

Who knows what you might end up doing in ten years time?

I wrote two test scenarios, but recently got a rejection letter as well. It was great to try. A little sad at not making it, but at least I got as far as I did. Cheers and good luck to those still in it.

Welp, if my situation is typical, it looks like you get three shots. Here's the final set I sent in. If anyone wants a look at the others, lemme know.

I:

Sergeant Carodar’s blade shone in the burning sky as the Assault Marines burst from the Stormraven Gunship. The squad swept onto the wreckage of the Munitorum structure, jump packs screaming. A blistering torrent of Ork shoota fire answered their attack, knocking three of their number from the air. Carodar roared an oath of vengeance and barrelled into the Orks. His power sword chewed through the first of them, colouring the ornate heraldry of the Blood Angel’s armour with viscera.

Carodar ducked an incoming barrage of fire as a wave of Stormboyz counterattacked. Their black-checkered Rokkit-Packs howled, filling the sky with Orks. Carodar kicked a body off the end of his blade and launched himself to meet them. He slammed into the largest of the Goffs in mid-air, cracking its bones against his pauldron. The Stormboy bellowed in rage and hacked its choppa at weak points in Carodar’s armour. Both combatants hit the ground.

They rolled in bitter struggle. The Ork bashed its head against Carodar’s helm, blackening his vision. It kicked him away savagely. Carodar’s hearts skipped as he felt himself plummet over the edge of the structure. The Ork lunged for the kill. It gunned its Rokkit-Pack, chasing him into freefall. Carodar struggled for his bolt pistol, drawing it as his enemy struck. The weapon blasted through the open air, rending the Stormboy in a hail of bolterfire.

Engaging his jump pack, Carodar let the dead Ork fall past him as he ascended back into the carnage of battle.

II:

The launch bay of the Ultramar’s Gift was mad with activity. Servitors made last minute adjustments to Drop Pods in deadpan automation while Tactical Squads of the Ultramarines chapter fitted themselves for war. The howling of hydraulic machinery echoed through the cathedral-like space as chapter serfs prepped Predator Tanks for transport. Amongst the disciplined efficiency of the assault preparations were five scouts of the Tenth Company. They knelt on the cold deck, cleaning their sniper rifles one last time before drop. The liberation of Charachus IV was to be their first mission and the chapter demanded nothing less than victory.

“Squad to attention!” shouted Sergeant Marius. The five scouts snapped up expertly, sniper rifles pressed against their chests. “Forget everything you know about our previous objectives.”

The untested scouts exchanged curious glances.

“Do not be surprised,” Marius continued, “War changes. To adapt despite uncertainty, that is your duty. Hours ago, the Cadian 388th reported sighting Ticheron, Lord of the Iron Warriors assaulting Hive Almserstadt.” He paused, letting the gravity of the words sink in. “Our mission has changed from reconnaissance to extermination. We will locate the enemy commander and visit upon him the Primarch’s wrath.”

The scouts barked their martial approval. Marius could see the fire in their eyes, their longing to prove themselves against the chapter’s greatest enemies. Yet he was pensive, for he knew that many of his men would not live to don the black carapace.

“Ultramarines,” he bellowed as worlds burned below them “Prepare for drop!”

Mongoose, you don't have to answer this, but who actually are you? I'm keen to know, and I thank you for the insight you gave us. I would certainly be taking the payment in models if that's what they still do, price is literally the only thing stopping me from playing Warhammer/40K.

Here are some points I've picked up from the stories I've read so far:

I didn't feel any emotions when reading many of them. The use of language was not particularly emotive and many of the battle scenes in particular were just going through the motions.

The battle scenes in particular tend to lack focus. It's meant to be about one space marine and one ork. People are placing their struggle into a wider context, but the GW does not want to read the assault phase of a game of Epic, they want two characters in a life or death struggle. People are spending way too long setting the scene when this could be done in just a few words or a sentence. 250 words is NOT enough to tell a whole story in the way people are trying to do.

As for the scout segment, sometimes I was a bit "Meh" - I was thinking, "If this appeared as colour text in the Space Marine codex would it inspire me or tell me anything about how Scouts operate or behave?"

It is possible to have mission briefings which show character, humour, emotion or whatever, even with Space Marines. I'm currently reading the codex from cover to cover to find all the stories, quotes and colour text I can before finalising my story, but I'm not sure other people have done the same.

This in no way implies criticism of other people and their styles, this is just feedback based on what I've read/heard so far, and I WILL be submitting my own work in this thread at some point for other people to critique.

 NoPoet wrote:
Mongoose, you don't have to answer this, but who actually are you? I'm keen to know, and I thank you for the insight you gave us. I would certainly be taking the payment in models if that's what they still do, price is literally the only thing stopping me from playing Warhammer/40K.

If he's not Matthew Sprange then i'm a monkeys uncle.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mongoose_Publishing

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matthew_Sprange

Edit: Yup he's down as an author for IA1, the one with Flesh Tearers in it.

Hmm... I actually remember the name, if I ever paid more attention to who wrote what in the GW I'd probably remember all his work. Good quality writing if I remember - and that's not arse-kissing.

Right chaps, and ladies if any are present, I've submitted two stories: Wolf at Bay and Ten Minutes.

I won't post them until they've (most likely) been rejected, but I will say this: my battle scene is different from 99.5% of the ones they've received because the Ork wins.

^^ SPOILER!

Heh, whoops, I just couldn't help myself

No doubt I'll be posting them here in a month or so when I get the standard "Sorry it was crap, here's the next Ben Counter novel" response (not that I'm pre-emptively bitter or anything heh)

Seriously, I never knew I could tell a story in 250 words, and I've been told in the past I should stick to writing Guard stories rather than Marines. This exercise has been incredibly valuable for me and even if they reject me, I feel grateful that they've shown me I can do what I didn't think I could do.

MaxT wrote:

 NoPoet wrote:
Mongoose, you don't have to answer this, but who actually are you? I'm keen to know, and I thank you for the insight you gave us. I would certainly be taking the payment in models if that's what they still do, price is literally the only thing stopping me from playing Warhammer/40K.

If he's not Matthew Sprange then i'm a monkeys uncle.

The monkey would not be a relation of yours

I submitted the same two briefs (battle scene and Scout speech) back at the end of March - haven't had a response one way or the other, not sure if that means they've not been reviewed or that I failed haha.

Here they are anyway for anyone who's interested:

“Too close”, thought Nerva, casting his gaze around him for an advantage in the gloom of the destroyed building. The only light came from the fires burning around the Ork and the Ultramarine Sergeant.

The Ork came again at Nerva, its knife and axe swinging wildly in an uncoordinated flurry of blows. Nerva parried the frenzied attacks with his sword and heard the low rumble of an approaching transport, recognising the familiar engine thrum of a Rhino. The greenskin’s crude knife scraped hard against the ceramite plating of Nerva’s arm guard, leaving a deep cut in the blue paintwork. Nerva, saw an opening and brought his gauntletclad fist around and delivered a furious blow to the Ork’s face, sending teeth, spittle and foul green blood spraying across the broken floor.

Nerva aimed a thunderous kick to the dazed Ork’s midriff, sending a cruelfanged Sun token clattering to the ground. The Ork stumbled back, just as the approaching Rhino crested the rise behind Nerva, its headlights casting brilliant beams of light directly into the eyes of the greenskin.

The Ork roared in agony and raised its hands to try and block the blinding light. Nerva didn’t hesitate and thrust his sword through the Ork’s exposed throat ending the life of the greenskin. Nerva withdrew his blade and watched the Ork’s body fall to the floor, the green blood from the savage wound in its neck had already started to pool around the body. “Another one down,” muttered Nerva, sheathing his sword.

Nerva surveys the assembled scouts in front of him. Their faces were cast in a green hue from the hololith table showing a three dimensional map rendering of Quandel City. Four Scouts, armed with sniper rifles, met his gaze.

Bright eyes, young faces, armour unblemished by combat. Such was the nature of the 10th Company.

“The Orks have overrun Quandel City. Our target,” he sweeps his hand over the hololith, watching as the image swoops in on a non-descript building in the industrial zone, “is this facility.” The building revolves on the table in front of him.

“It looks like nothing, doesn’t it? However; inside that facility is a biological weapon that could lay waste to the entire continent and we will not allow the enemy the chance to get their hands on it.

We’re going to clear a path from the insertion point right to the door of the facility, so that the 3rd Company can approach and remove the payload.” He pauses and gives a grim, tight smile.

“Between us and the entrance are over a thousand Greenskins, it falls to us to lead the cull. We enter on foot, stealth is of the essence. Only engage the enemy directly if absolutely necessary. Securing the bio-weapon is the primary objective of this assault; once it’s contained we will aid our brothers in destroying the enemy and retaking the city.”

Nerva nods to the scouts and clatters his gauntlet against the Aquila on his chest.

“We march for Macragge!”

Only just read it back from the first time I submitted it, dialogue is clunky as anything in that second one, still was a bit of fun

foostick wrote:


Only just read it back from the first time I submitted it, dialogue is clunky as anything in that second one, still was a bit of fun

Mixed tenses as well - a bit of a no-no.

I got a reply to my second set of briefs. And in no uncertain terms, I've been told my application will go no further. At the very least, I can say I gave it a shot. And my second set of briefs are as follows...

Throughout the enginarium, bolter fire punctuated the tocsins’ clang. At the base of the multi-story fusion reactor circling one another were Iron Hands Sergeant Haarken, clad in black and silver power armor, and an Ork boss mek, its green skin daubed blue.

In his left, Haarken wielded a chainsword. His right was a cauterized ruin, the result of his plasma pistol malfunctioning. With great show, the Ork had stowed its slugga, wielding just a massive spanner. However, it did not deactivate its personal forcefield.

Haarken dodged a double-handed backswing. Another control podium crumpled into scrap. The Ork smirked, confident it could fix it. Haarken cursed. He would end this humiliation before it caused more damage.

As the Ork parried Haarken’s chainsword, Haarken leaned into the locked weapons. Servos in Haarken’s iron black gauntlet whined. For long seconds, neither yielded, until the deckplates buckled.

Off-balance, the Ork stumbled back. Exploiting the opening, Haarken lunged. His chainsword slid through the forcefield that had dissipated his earlier shots. As he forced its whirring teeth into the Ork’s neck, blood sprayed.

Turning from the decapitated corpse, Haarken contacted his clave. One by one, nine tactical marines throughout the maze of companionways and staircases reported in. “Iron Father? Enginarium secured.” Gazing at his iron black gauntlet, Haarken thought, soon my right hand will be as strong.

An hour later, the Iron Hands had catalogued the Orks and set the ship’s course for Mu-X23, the nearest star. The quarantine cordon around forgeworld Caldecott Delta remained inviolate.

Beyond the armorglass canopy, a fraction of the kilometers-long Jericho-class pilgrimage vessel Tempest of Tribulations blotted out the stars. Scout Sergeant Cyprian slid into the co-pilot’s seat of the Thunderhawk. He folded his arms rather than rest them next to the auxiliary controls. “Still no answer?”

“None, brother-sergeant.” The pilot had eyes only for the auspex-slates and avionics panel. “We’ll be boarding in three minutes on my mark.”

Cyprian gazed at pristine crenellations and vaulted arches sheltering statuary and gun batteries.

“Mark.”

“Time to ready them then.” Cyprian rose from the co-pilot’s seat.

The scouts, secured in their grav-harnesses, turned their heads to watch Cyprian pace along the center of the transport compartment.

“A century ago, twenty-thousand souls bound in pilgrimage to Holy Terra left Talassar on the Tempest of Tribulations. We are the first to have laid eyes upon it since. Perhaps the Emperor’s light has finally shown them the way home.”

Cyprian paused at the door to the pilot’s compartment. “However, we know not its travails within the void. Understand that the knowledge you gain about this vessel and its passengers secures victory for your brother-marines who follow.”

“If those poor souls have succumbed to the Dark Powers, then render unto them the Emperor’s judgment. We march for Macragge!” The assault ramp descended. As grav-harnesses released, the scouts racked their combat shotguns. Cyprian strode down the assault ramp, his camo cloak flaring out. From either bench, the scouts slipped past stanchions in silence and blended into the darkness.

I never heard back after my second set of briefs. I wonder why some people got rejections and others didn't?

they'll reject those they definitely don't want,

those they might consider will probably not be contacted until they've read the whole pile when they'll have another look at their notes and send some more rejections and the phase 3 briefs

Well, that's a positive, then. I suppose.

 NoPoet wrote:
I got the initial rejection in less than 24 hours, saying that my enthusiasm is wonderful but what I want to write about does not match what the Games Workshop is looking for.

I told them I want to write anything: 40K, Warhammer and the Heresy, and why I wanted to write for them. I also said I'd do comic book dialogue. I did not give specific story ideas.

Therefore, according to the email, writing about Games Workshop products is not what the Games Workshop is looking for.

No, I'd say that your big mistake was lack of focus. It's easy to say that you'll do anything, and I bet a lot of people said the same thing, which gives you nothing to distinguish yourself from the crowd. You need to present yourself in a way that makes you stand out, be memorable, and get them to say, 'yeah, they've got what we're looking for.'

Anyway. The reason I'm posting is I just got a rejection. Straight to the point, 'did not meet standards/won't be going any further. ' With the timing, and lack of guidelines met, I wonder if this meansI made it far, or vot overlooked in the reject bin til now?

If it helps anyone any, just got a letter to say I am in.

Congratulations!

Given the post above yours, looks like they were working on the final round.

Many congratulations !

Did anyone from outside the UK apply? I was rejected due to shortcomings in my submissions, but it occurred to me that even if I had submitted flawless entries, I might have been rejected based on employment grounds (i.e., it is too much of a headache for GW to hire outside of the UK).

Does anyone know if GW or Black Library has employed or published work by individuals outside the UK? Just curious at this point.

M.A.E. wrote:
Did anyone from outside the UK apply? I was rejected due to shortcomings in my submissions, but it occurred to me that even if I had submitted flawless entries, I might have been rejected based on employment grounds (i.e., it is too much of a headache for GW to hire outside of the UK).

Does anyone know if GW or Black Library has employed or published work by individuals outside the UK? Just curious at this point.

Jeremy Vetock is American



http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Jeremy_Vetock

Also, David Annandale is a lecturer of some kind in Canada, aside from writing for BL. Presumably he's Canadian?

http://authors.simonandschuster.co.uk/David-Annandale/486190913

Interesting - thank you!

M.A.E. wrote:
Did anyone from outside the UK apply? I was rejected due to shortcomings in my submissions, but it occurred to me that even if I had submitted flawless entries, I might have been rejected based on employment grounds (i.e., it is too much of a headache for GW to hire outside of the UK).

If that had been the case they:
A: Would've said something about it being open to UK applicants only
B: Not have listed it on the U.S. site too.
C: How would they have even known where you were from unless you specifically said, 'hey, I'm a U.S. writer...'

 Portugal Jones wrote:
C: How would they have even known where you were from unless you specifically said, 'hey, I'm a U.S. writer...'

"He spelled 'colour' without a 'U'! Bin it!"

MongooseMatt wrote:
If it helps anyone any, just got a letter to say I am in.

Congratulations!

MongooseMatt wrote:
If it helps anyone any, just got a letter to say I am in.

Ayy congrats mate, glad to see it wasn't purely a fishing expedition!

 AlexHolker wrote:

"He spelled 'colour' without a 'U'! Bin it!"

Guess it pays to be Canadian!

MongooseMatt wrote:
If it helps anyone any, just got a letter to say I am in.

Congratulations!

I'm curious, could you post the briefs that got you in?

MongooseMatt wrote:
If it helps anyone any, just got a letter to say I am in.

Well done!

I wouldn't be surprised to find out that GW rejected applications that didn't use standard English spelling, given their location.

 Dicrel Seijin wrote:

I'm curious, could you post the briefs that got you in?

Sure.

Test Brief Part 1
Watching icons on his helmet display flash green, Dorben saw the rest of the White Scars were ready. The orks were dropping to the fire of the 276th Steel Legion at a terrible rate but it was not enough. They covered the last few yards with a blood-curdling howl, magnified by their numbers.

Dorben raised his bolt pistol as a large ork leapt over the barricade, swinging its huge axe back and forth to send men flying. He fired, but the mass reactive shells simply ricocheted off the heavy metal plate the beast had slung across its chest. Annoyed, it roared at Dorben then approached with something of a grin spreading across its face.

Muscles bulged as the creature swung its crude weapon, and sparks flew as Dorben’s chainsword met the stroke, deflecting it away. Even so, the blow pushed him back some distance, servos in his power armour hissing as they failed to compensate. A growl rising, Dorben withdrew his blade then slashed at the ork, forcing it backwards. That gap was all he needed and Dorben stepped forward to smash the brow of his helmet into the ork’s open mouth, sending teeth flying in all directions.

The momentum of the blow staggered the ork and it fell on to its back. Before it could rouse itself to attack again, Dorben planted a heavy armoured boot on its chest and watched the ork’s head explode as he fired a single explosive bolt. Looking up, he searched for another target.

Test Brief Part 2
A barely visible beam of light lanced through the air, betraying a sniper up ahead. Instinctively, the scouts ducked, all except Marcus, who could not quite hide his grin as he gripped his combat knife even tighter.

‘Easy there, scout,’ Sergeant Vorenus warned him. ‘That traitor will pay for his temerity, firing upon the Ultramarines, but we will do this properly, by the dictates of the immortal Guilliman’

‘Yes, Sergeant,’ Marcus said, but Vorenus could see the scout was eager to dive into his first firefight. Too eager. The rest of the squad, at least, had the appropriate level of apprehension. This was, after all, as much a test for them as a battle.

‘Up ahead, elements of the 4th Medean regiment occupy the woodland on the high ground,’ Vorenus said, bringing his attention back to the rest of the scouts. ‘They have turned from the light of the Emperor and so have lost his protection. That is where we come in.’

‘That sniper is the first target?’ Serjanus asked, as he shifted the weight of the missile launcher on his shoulder.

‘Indeed, scout,’ Vorenus said. ‘We cannot be free to act while constantly watching for a laser in the back of our heads. Serjanus, you lay down frag shells right across the treeline. Titus, Gaius, use the cover of the rocks on the flank to advance and get into the trees.’

The scouts nodded their assent.

‘Marcus, you come with me. I have a special task for you…’

 -Shrike- wrote:

MongooseMatt wrote:
If it helps anyone any, just got a letter to say I am in.

Well done!

I wouldn't be surprised to find out that GW rejected applications that didn't use standard English spelling, given their location.

Of course that'd be surprising. Why would such an irrelevant and completely arbitrary thing be a 'secret sudden death disqualifier' that is so important it's not even mentioned in the rules?

 Portugal Jones wrote:

 -Shrike- wrote:

MongooseMatt wrote:
If it helps anyone any, just got a letter to say I am in.

Well done!

I wouldn't be surprised to find out that GW rejected applications that didn't use standard English spelling, given their location.

Of course that'd be surprising. Why would such an irrelevant and completely arbitrary thing be a 'secret sudden death disqualifier' that is so important it's not even mentioned in the rules?

My comment was a bit tongue-in-cheek, but if you insist...
1) It's not irrelevant. GW are a British company, and as such, would use the standard form of English specific to that part of the world.
2) Arbitrary? Hardly. If everyone uses the same form of the same language, it makes it much easier to compare pieces of writing.
3) Did the rules say you have to write in English?

I applied and made it to the test phase, they turned me down the day after submitting my tests (dunno if that's better or worse) but all they said was my spelling and grammar were unacceptable :(. Damn you Open office! I should have spent longer on it and got someone to proof read but i thought it would be impressive if i completed the test in only 2 days.

Their are no spelling mistakes so i guess my grammar sucks, shame because they didn't point out any other problems like they seem to have with others.


Automatically Appended Next Post:
On the offchance anyone is interested here are my submissions, i would appreciate any criticism no matter how brutal since GW did not specify what was wrong and it would help me improve...

Test 1...
The trap was sprung!

We leapt from our perch into the rocky valley below, thunderous jump packs startling our Greenskin prey. Grenades burst all around as we fall upon them with vengeful fury, black armor glistening in the night. I land hard onto one knee driving my Powersword into the nearest xeno's filth, cleaving him from neck to navel.

A huge Ork roars, his dark green skin a network of scars loosely covered with red metal. Around his neck hangs a blue skull medallion, a clan symbol, half a dozen human heads are strung about his waist.

“WAAAAGH!” Charging he fires his battered pistol while raising a massive power clawed fist into the air.

Releasing the sword I raise my arm to block the coming blow, drawing a combi melta with the other. His shots do little more than scratch the white raven emblazoned on my shoulder but the downward strike shattered armor and arm alike. That hideous scarred face mocks me but I feel no pain, pain is for the faithless.

“Yoo'ze 'n trouble now oomie” yells the beast raising its rusty claw again.

The creature was to slow, calmly I fire my weapon instantly turning a victorious scream into an agonized wail. Its face melts away as the brutish thing falls to its knees and collapses. My brothers had done their work well, the carnage is over as suddenly as it began.

All was silent now save the wet sound of my sword being pulled free...


Test 2...
"Your time has come", Sargent Pollious spoke with a rough voice we had come to know well, like stone grinding stone.

"The treacherous scum plaguing this world seek to attack the surviving loyalists before they can regroup"

He spat the words from a maimed face, more scar than feature. The red light of a cybernetic eye his dominant detail, legend has it a Genestealer tore out the original before he beat it to death. A rumor the vicious old man relishes, one only a fool would doubt in his presence.

"The ruins we stand in were once a city, a city they must pass through"

He indicated to the pile of explosives we had carried, mile after torturous mile, to this forsaken place.

"We have five maybe six hours to prepare a fitting welcome"

I recall the day i challanged the Ultramarine's for the right to join them, foolish child that i was. He broke every part of me that could be broken, including my pride, but it was merely the beginning of my journey to this moment.

"Remember your training, trust your brothers, have faith in the Emperor!"

We hated the old tyrant, but each of us would die for him. His tutelage has made us more than men, today as Astarte's scouts we would prove our worth.

"Why do you fight?"
"We fight for Macragge!" The whole squad chorused.

A smile, something we had never seen him do, flashed across that unforgiving face.

Many traitors would die today...

 Gantoris wrote:
I applied and made it to the test phase, they turned me down the day after submitting my tests (dunno if that's better or worse) but all they said was my spelling and grammar were unacceptable :(. Damn you Open office! I should have spent longer on it and got someone to proof read but i thought it would be impressive if i completed the test in only 2 days.

Their are no spelling mistakes so i guess my grammar sucks, shame because they didn't point out any other problems like they seem to have with others.

To be fair, the problems they've pointed out were baffling to most of us. Plus, on my second try, they just rejected it without explanation, too.

As a critique, I went through it in red. I only noted grammar issues, not ones of plot or anything else. In my view, you have some decent stuff here, but sadly it is indeed marred by grammar errors. I also noted that your profile/location says you're English, but you use American spellings. Not a big problem, just a curiosity on my part.

Test 1...
The trap was sprung!

We leapt from our perch into the rocky valley below, thunderous jump packs startling our Greenskin prey [this sentence is past tense, but the rest is in present. Mixing tenses is generally frowned upon. Grenades burst all around as we fall upon them with vengeful fury, black armor glistening in the night. I land hard onto one knee driving my Powersword into the nearest xeno's filth [using the possessive apostrophe like that means that what you're saying is he drove the sword into some filth, which belongs to the Xenos, which isn't the point you're trying to make, cleaving him from neck to navel.

A huge Ork roars, his dark green skin a network of scars loosely covered with red metal. Around his neck hangs a blue skull medallion, a clan symbol, half a dozen human heads are strung about his waist.

“WAAAAGH!” Charging he fires his battered pistol while raising a massive power clawed fist into the air.

Releasing the sword I raise my arm to block the coming blow, drawing a combi melta with the other. His shots do little more than scratch the white raven emblazoned on my shoulder [missing comma] but the downward strike shattered armor and arm alike. That hideous scarred face mocks me but I feel no pain, [really you'd most probably use a semicolon here, not a comma] pain is for the faithless.

“Yoo'ze 'n trouble now oomie [missing comma]” yells the beast [comma] raising its rusty claw again.

The creature was to [should be too] slow,[full stop or semicolon, not comma] calmly I fire my weapon [missing comma] instantly turning a victorious scream into an agonized wail. Its face melts away as the brutish thing falls to its knees and collapses. My brothers had done their work well, the carnage is over as suddenly as it began.

All was silent now [missing comma] save the wet sound of my sword being pulled free...[no real need for ellipses here. A full stop would have worked fine.]

Test 2...
"Your time has come", [the punctuation was outside of the speech marks, and in this case it should have been a full stop rather than a comma] Sargent [Sargent is a name. Sergeant is the rank] Pollious spoke with a rough voice we had come to know well, like stone grinding stone.

"The treacherous scum plaguing this world seek to attack the surviving loyalists before they can regroup"

He spat the words from a maimed face, more scar than feature. The red light of a cybernetic eye his dominant detail, legend has it a Genestealer tore out the original before he beat it to death. A rumor the vicious old man relishes, one only a fool would doubt in his presence.

"The ruins we stand in were once a city, a city they must pass through"

He indicated to the pile of explosives we had carried, mile after torturous mile, to this forsaken place.

"We have five maybe six hours to prepare a fitting welcome"

I recall the day i [small I] challanged [should be challenged] the Ultramarine's [wrong use of possessive apostrophe] for the right to join them, foolish child that i was. He broke every part of me that could be broken, including my pride, but it was merely the beginning of my journey to this moment.

"Remember your training, trust your brothers, have faith in the Emperor!"

We hated the old tyrant, but each of us would die for him. His tutelage has made us more than men, today as Astarte's [again, wrong use of possessive apostrophe] scouts we would prove our worth.

"Why do you fight?"
"We fight for Macragge!" The [should be ''the'' because it's not a new sentence] whole squad chorused.

A smile, something we had never seen him do, flashed across that unforgiving face.

Many traitors would die today...

Thank you for your critique, its appreciated.

As for the spelling i obey the spell checker lol, i guess i need to go through its settings!

Never trust the spell checker, as that's all they check, and quite often they get that wrong if they're set to 'US' English. The example of 'too' instead of 'to' is often missed, for example.

Akrath, i have tried to re submit taking your suggestions to heart. I am hoping they might consider my second try since i technically still have 4 days, if it works out i most definitely owe you a beer one day m8!

I dont suppose you guys could recommend a better word processor than Open Office, one with better spell checking and Grammar? Even Yahoo mail spotted spelling mistakes Open Office missed.

Pro tip -- most writers don't rely on spell checkers. You give your writing a proper EDIT, because spell check won't catch instances where you've spelled the wrong word correctly.

I've never seen a grammar checker that was worth a gak. More than half the time those give you the *wrong* advice.

 Gantoris wrote:
Akrath, i have tried to re submit taking your suggestions to heart. I am hoping they might consider my second try since i technically still have 4 days, if it works out i most definitely owe you a beer one day m8!

I dont suppose you guys could recommend a better word processor than Open Office, one with better spell checking and Grammar? Even Yahoo mail spotted spelling mistakes Open Office missed.

You either go through it yourself or you give it to somebody else to proof-read. The latter is better because a fresh pair of eyes will spot things you won't or can't.

 Gantoris wrote:
Akrath, i have tried to re submit taking your suggestions to heart. I am hoping they might consider my second try since i technically still have 4 days, if it works out i most definitely owe you a beer one day m8!

I dont suppose you guys could recommend a better word processor than Open Office, one with better spell checking and Grammar? Even Yahoo mail spotted spelling mistakes Open Office missed.

As said, don't rely on spell checkers. In my experience a good proofreader is one of the best assets a writer could have. Whilst reading it yourself is always a good idea, I find that the writer often ends up blind to their own mistakes. Especially if they're mistakes because the writer lacks knowledge in a certain area.

If you want to write more, the best advice I have is to study. Sounds a bit patronising, but there's no real alternative to just learning more about how to write, how to use grammar and how to structure a story.

Your right and i appreciate the advice, i had 7 days and only used 2 of them which was foolish. I should have proof read it more and found someone to proof read it for me before submitting.

If by some miracle they accept my re-sub i guess ill be refreshing myself on proper grammar!

I would also suggest you practice the discipline, even on forums such as this.

"Your" means someone you're addressing; "You're" means you are.

"I" not "i"

"There" somewhere not here; "Their" someone else.

"ill" are you feeling unwell or "I'll" be back?

Expect the editor, reviewer, or whomever it is at G.W. to be the biggest Nazi about every little detail, especially if they have a big pool to pick from. I know that when reviewing a collection of resumes in a large, or tight, group of people, the ones who have 'poor' attention to detail are the first to go and poor is very subjective.

Poor could be forgets to put a full stop at the end of a sentence or overuse of commas.

Dont tend to spend much time proof reading forum posts

 Gantoris wrote:
Dont tend to spend much time proof reading forum posts

If you do it will help your writing immensely. Forum, Facebook, even texting: all the professional writers I know write in these areas with as much care to spelling, punctuation, and grammar as they do in their professional writing.


So, side question: does anyone know how much GW freelance writers make? (I know: not much.) Do they pay them by the job, or by the word?

Yeah, Gantoris, the stuff in red. A mix of past and present tense, use of 'to' when you meant 'too', and others. I just read a couple sentences, but the grammar stuff popped up immediately. Agreed that spelling seemed fine, but your tenses were all over the place and some improper word usage definitely detracted. Have a friend proof read for you next time, preferably one that has gone for an advanced degree in English. Should help ya out.

Actually, that advise goes for everyone: if it's not an important piece of writing, you don't really need someone proof reading. But something you intend to use for a job interview, a thesis or a résumé...yeah, get somebody else to proof read for you. Always.

 timetowaste85 wrote:
Actually, that advise goes for everyone: if it's not an important piece of writing, you don't really need someone proof reading. But something you intend to use for a job interview, a thesis or a résumé...yeah, get somebody else to proof read for you. Always.

Advice*

But yea, truth. Better still if, like me, you can use a couple of readers. At least that's what I've found.

Feelin like a fool now tbh, i recon they were good enough apart from the schoolboy errors :(

That's kind of the thing - you don't want 'schoolboy' errors showing up when you're submitting something for professional considertion.

Given the generous deadlines, not correcting gives the impression like you don't really care.

Lastly, with how many people submitted, if you had two submissions of equal quality, the one with basic spelling mistakes and typos is going to be rejected every time.

You are right of course, it was a stupid thing to do and have been beating myself up over it all week :(

Well, they're listing an opening for a full member of the writing team, whose due date is coming up. All you've got to do is submit a 'why you want this job,' and 2000 word short story of Ultramarines fighting orks, to earn your shot at redemption!

 Bookwrack wrote:
Well, they're listing an opening for a full member of the writing team, whose due date is coming up. All you've got to do is submit a 'why you want this job,' and 2000 word short story of Ultramarines fighting orks, to earn your shot at redemption!

This job? http://jobs.games-workshop.com/2015/06/26/fiction-writer-nottingham-uk/

That reads as being based at their HQ, so it's not an option for most of us.

But it was an option to the person he was responding to, who had the Union Jack for his location flag.

I wonder if anyone applied for that positon and feels like speaking up? They only had to write about an 8x larger story, but Ultramarines vs orks certainly isn't a difficult topic.

Akragth wrote:

 Bookwrack wrote:
Well, they're listing an opening for a full member of the writing team, whose due date is coming up. All you've got to do is submit a 'why you want this job,' and 2000 word short story of Ultramarines fighting orks, to earn your shot at redemption!

This job? http://jobs.games-workshop.com/2015/06/26/fiction-writer-nottingham-uk/

That reads as being based at their HQ, so it's not an option for most of us.

I submitted for it, and was not immediately rejected for being a filthy colonial, receiving a nice e-mail saying that my application had been received and was under review.

Of course, I might've tricked them by the fact that I live in Nottingham... USA.

 Portugal Jones wrote:
But it was an option to the person he was responding to, who had the Union Jack for his location flag.

I wonder if anyone applied for that positon and feels like speaking up? They only had to write about an 8x larger story, but Ultramarines vs orks certainly isn't a difficult topic.

Not necessarily. Not everyone can move for a job.

 Bookwrack wrote:

Akragth wrote:

 Bookwrack wrote:
Well, they're listing an opening for a full member of the writing team, whose due date is coming up. All you've got to do is submit a 'why you want this job,' and 2000 word short story of Ultramarines fighting orks, to earn your shot at redemption!

This job? http://jobs.games-workshop.com/2015/06/26/fiction-writer-nottingham-uk/

That reads as being based at their HQ, so it's not an option for most of us.

I submitted for it, and was not immediately rejected for being a filthy colonial, receiving a nice e-mail saying that my application had been received and was under review.

Of course, I might've tricked them by the fact that I live in Nottingham... USA.

They probably wouldn't reject you purely for being elsewhere when you apply, but if it's based at their HQ then you'd obviously be expected to move close enough to be able to get to the office. Which, as I said above, isn't an option for most folks Of course, I could be wrong, and they might let people work from home, in which case they should really specify so.

I sent my application.

Got through to testing, then got a rejection.

The only thing i was rejected on:

Make it Readable
We require a high standard of written English, including accurate spelling, punctuation and grammar. Whilst these things alone do not constitute good writing, the absence of them would unfortunately make it impossible for us to consider adding you to our freelance author pool, no matter how fantastic your story is.


That was the only thing.... THE ONLY THING!!!!

Welcome to my world :(

 Gantoris wrote:
Welcome to my world :(

I know, i mean i understand that im feeling annoyed but surely if my pacing and writing style is ok, i can easily change a bit of grammar

It just amazes me!

With so many applications i expect they are spoiled for choice, why tolerate someone who might need excessive editing.

The most depressing thing about my entry is i got it in after 2 days, i had fully 5 days to get it proof read by someone. Feel like such a mug for screwing up in such a stupid way.

 Gantoris wrote:
With so many applications i expect they are spoiled for choice, why tolerate someone who might need excessive editing.

The most depressing thing about my entry is i got it in after 2 days, i had fully 5 days to get it proof read by someone. Feel like such a mug for screwing up in such a stupid way.

But that's like saying the best basketball player in the world can't join the Chicago Bulls because they don't have the right shoes

Phoenixlotar wrote:

But that's like saying the best basketball player in the world can't join the Chicago Bulls because they don't have the right shoes

Your way of looking at it is like saying that the tallest man in the world should be the best basketball player, even if he has no grasp of the basics of the game though.

I posted this in the other rejection thread, written about a writer's experience in working with WotC:

In reality, you can’t expect to be mentored or taught the basics of the field. You are given one (maybe two) chance to deliver what they asked for on top of what they assume you know about their expectations.
And those expectations are thus: deliver top grade, engaging manuscripts that will require no or minimal editing in terms of grammar, syntax and spelling. Those are very stringent requirements which you can’t afford to brush off.

Yea, agreed, they're not there to hold your hand. I don't know many places who would offer to mentor freelancers. To do so would more or less defeat the actual point of bringing a freelancer in to begin with.

 hungryp wrote:

Phoenixlotar wrote:

But that's like saying the best basketball player in the world can't join the Chicago Bulls because they don't have the right shoes

Your way of looking at it is like saying that the tallest man in the world should be the best basketball player, even if he has no grasp of the basics of the game though.

No, I think my example was sufficient enough.

I was a Copywriter for 3 years, writing for both online and magazines; grammar and punctuation could be changed, bad writing couldn't

So the tall man analogy doesn't work. Here is another one:

A musician auditioning for a band, has the experience, played many shows, has a van and knows the bands back catalouge but doesn't get the job because his guitar is slightly out of tune

I posted this in the other rejection thread, written about a writer's experience in working with WotC:

In reality, you can’t expect to be mentored or taught the basics of the field. You are given one (maybe two) chance to deliver what they asked for on top of what they assume you know about their expectations.
And those expectations are thus: deliver top grade, engaging manuscripts that will require no or minimal editing in terms of grammar, syntax and spelling. Those are very stringent requirements which you can’t afford to brush off.

Im certain most people aren't that bad with grammar

The point is they get thousands of apps that they trying to whittle down to just a few, non of it is "Shakespeare" quality they just want people to write small blurbs and fluff. If your one of 500 they have of look at today and have lots of trivial mistakes that's one they can eliminate quickly and move on to the next.

 Dentry wrote:
Finally. My years of experience writing erotic fiction can pay off; this seems like the next logical step.

You will need basic knowledge of Games Workshop’s intellectual property and a desire to learn more.

Check!

Hahahahaha. I laughed way more than I should have at this.

My first commission came through last week. Bit more substantial than I had expected - it isn't just a few box texts for White Dwarf!

I love the fact that their freelance writers are held to a higher standard than their codex writers on spelling, punctuation and grammar.

 timetowaste85 wrote:
I love the fact that their freelance writers are held to a higher standard than their codex writers on spelling, punctuation and grammar.

Change has got to start somewhere!

Phoenixlotar wrote:

 Gantoris wrote:
With so many applications i expect they are spoiled for choice, why tolerate someone who might need excessive editing.

The most depressing thing about my entry is i got it in after 2 days, i had fully 5 days to get it proof read by someone. Feel like such a mug for screwing up in such a stupid way.

But that's like saying the best basketball player in the world can't join the Chicago Bulls because they don't have the right shoes

It's nothing at all like that. If you want to make an analogy, it's like showing up for a first date without having showered or changed your clothes for a week. You can promise all you want that next time you will still be dewy from the bath with your shirt still warm from the line. It doesn't matter because when you made that vital first impression, you stank to high heaven.

If you're applying for a writing job, you have to show that you know how to write. Phoenixlotar, you claim 'you can change a bit of grammer,' but how do they know that? All they could see was that the sample that you thought was worthy of professional consideration had significant issues with spelling, punctuation, and grammer. That was how you chose to make your first impression to them. It doesn't matter how good your ideas and plot were, if the piece you showed them demonstrated a poor grasp of the mechanics of writing.

The only thing they had to evaluate you on was what you showed them.

Phoenixlotar wrote:


Im certain most people aren't that bad with grammar

Having been on the other side of the editorial desk, I regret to say that this is not true by a long shot.

And I imagine that's only going to get worse too as we enter the Mobile Age of Speaking and Writing!

Reading this thread reminds me of a Ronnie Coleman comment “Everybody wants to be a bodybuilder, but nobody wants to lift no heavy-ass weights.”

Congrats to those who got selected but some who didn't get selected need to learn to take rejection with good grace and learn from it.

 Alpharius wrote:
And I imagine that's only going to get worse too as we enter the Mobile Age of Speaking and Writing!

LOL ikr

 Alpharius wrote:
And I imagine that's only going to get worse too as we enter the Mobile Age of Speaking and Writing!

I remember reading articles on how internet communication, with BrB, using 8 instead of '-ate' and emoticons were destroying the ability of our youth to write, and held up examples of school reports and resumes being submitted by teens full of such l33t speak as proof.

Back around 1997, 98, in response to the exploding popularity of AIM and ICQ.

 Bookwrack wrote:

Phoenixlotar wrote:

 Gantoris wrote:
With so many applications i expect they are spoiled for choice, why tolerate someone who might need excessive editing.

The most depressing thing about my entry is i got it in after 2 days, i had fully 5 days to get it proof read by someone. Feel like such a mug for screwing up in such a stupid way.

But that's like saying the best basketball player in the world can't join the Chicago Bulls because they don't have the right shoes

It's nothing at all like that. If you want to make an analogy, it's like showing up for a first date without having showered or changed your clothes for a week. You can promise all you want that next time you will still be dewy from the bath with your shirt still warm from the line. It doesn't matter because when you made that vital first impression, you stank to high heaven.

If you're applying for a writing job, you have to show that you know how to write. Phoenixlotar, you claim 'you can change a bit of grammer,' but how do they know that? All they could see was that the sample that you thought was worthy of professional consideration had significant issues with spelling, punctuation, and grammer. That was how you chose to make your first impression to them. It doesn't matter how good your ideas and plot were, if the piece you showed them demonstrated a poor grasp of the mechanics of writing.

The only thing they had to evaluate you on was what you showed them.

You're right.

I have done a few writing jobs in the past but when it comes to Games Workshop, They are a huge company, the standards are there for a reason.

I think I am just in a bit of a sour mood, I am thinking of re-applying.

I am definitely reapplying, I was pretty bitter at my rejection and still don't completely understand it, but I do know that I didn't put a great deal of effort into it.

I want to write, but I've never tried to better my writing. Writing for GW is like racing for Ferrari - some fat dude sitting on a couch at home isn't going to jump in the drivers seat and get pole position.


Automatically Appended Next Post:

Also, basic googling found this for me -> http://thewritepractice.com/write-story/

Of the ~10 secrets to better writing~ (authors hate him), I wasn't doing any. Rather telling for me.

 Bookwrack wrote:

Back around 1997, 98, in response to the exploding popularity of AIM and ICQ.

Er...and?

Because I'm pretty sure it actually *has* gotten worse!

Just that almost 20 years later (feeeeeeeeeeeeeth! I feel old now!) society still hasn't degenerated into a series of post-apocalyptic blood feuds between the C U L8R H8Rs and the LOLmageddonites.

kb_lock wrote:
I am definitely reapplying, I was pretty bitter at my rejection and still don't completely understand it, but I do know that I didn't put a great deal of effort into it.

Which very well could've been what ended up getting it rejected. The writer not being particularly invested in his work can be the kind of thing that ends up coming across to the reader.

A good way to look at it is that it's not like racing for Ferrari. Dropping metaphor and simile all together, all they asked for was 250 words(x2). In writing terms, that's almost nothing and given the time allowed, if someone is not able to deliver two polished pieces of that length, then what level of working capability have they demonstrated? That's a very critical factor in this type of thing.

If the first assignment is a 3,000 word fluff piece with a two week deadline, even if the ideas are fantastic, if the mechanics of the writing are shoddy, that's a lot of extra work under a rather tight schedule (because some number of days are probably also going to be lost to discussions about the base idea and such, and these things always ending up eating more time than you'd imagine). When you're an editor under the gun, you want the finished piece you get to be as polished as possible. If your deadline is for shipping the finished WD layout files to the printer, the last thing you want is getting a story, no matter how brilliant, right before the deadline that's going to need two working days of revision before it's publishable.

 Bookwrack wrote:
Just that almost 20 years later (feeeeeeeeeeeeeth! I feel old now!) society still hasn't degenerated into a series of post-apocalyptic blood feuds between the C U L8R H8Rs and the LOLmageddonites.

I know we're:

1) On The Internet
2) Talking about fiction for GW

but...that's a healthy dose of hyperbole there, friend!

I'm a bit of a closet grammar Nazi, and the crimes against the written word that occur daily on my Facebook feed often make that vein on the side of my head throb uncontrollably.

What I really struggle with is given that there's only your or you're; there, they're or their or to, too and two, statistically shouldn't they get it right once in a while?!

The irony of you misusing that semicolon is delicious

You've got strange tastes then as that's probably just a typo!

 Bookwrack wrote:

kb_lock wrote:
I am definitely reapplying, I was pretty bitter at my rejection and still don't completely understand it, but I do know that I didn't put a great deal of effort into it.

Which very well could've been what ended up getting it rejected. The writer not being particularly invested in his work can be the kind of thing that ends up coming across to the reader.

Absolutely. I mean, I wasn't trying to rush it or half-ass it or anything, but I could have put in so much more effort - instead I just banged out a story, made it fit the word count, and then shipped it.