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I just dont get it. I was gaming today and the guy i was playing blew up and turned the table over. I almost thought i was dreaming.

Now the first thing you guys will want to know is why, well i dont know why. It was a well rounded game. Both of us took even loses.

Both rolled well and as far as i could tell we where having fun. He was playing Ogres and i was playing greenskins. Up to the end we

held pretty even, then right near the end i started to run his army off the table. knocked out his Bucther with grimgor. Then nailed his

big unit of 12 bulls to the wall with small group of 40 night goblins and some 25 boyz. All and all what wasn't, dead or running was in CC .

I thought well time for him to concede and maybe we could get two games in. I had my dwarves that im working on and wanted to give them a

spin. Next thing i know almost 1500pts of my army is on the floor and he is picking his stuff up. Wouldn't talk to me or even let me get my guys up.

Now i thought i handle it well with him cussing, me keeping my kool. When his girl comes out of the kitchen and say go out side for a moment.(of my own house no doubt)

I laughed (wrong thing to do) she turns beat red. He is almost done and i was in a combat unit so i always think there is gonna be a fight. She must have

saw it in my eyes as she knows me well. She starts pushing him and saying shut up, lets get out of here. I laugh and say hey no had feelings its just a game.(soul breaks a little)

lets forget this and clean up and talk it out. Long story short as i see them pulling out of my yard. All i can think is they are never coming back and i don't know why.

Has this every happened to anyone else? Am i alone in this? I a person who does not let small things like this get to me......but should i care and try to push the issue?

Let me know what you guys and ladies think?

thanks

Looks like you met TFG during a roid rage moment. Never happened to me. In your house no less. WOW.

Gathering from the bits and pieces of your info:

- They know you , thus probably know you well enough to know your behavior.

- They might have caught some rude behavior you display while playing others. ( i know he is over reacting , but seeing how when you are confused about this particular incident you laughed and said no hard feeling , they might have pieced together the 2.

As im not there , this is only a guess.

In conclusion : not enough info .

If you know them enough for them to play a game in your house , i suggest
figuring out what the problem was.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fundamental_attribution_error
You dont know the situation the guy was in. Maybe he is proned to fits of rage or he was having a bad day/week and him losing was the straw that broke the camels back.

I have had something similar happen but it was Star Fleet Battles years ago so only little cardboard chits got tossed and it wasn't nearly as dramatic (only the map was tossed). If it was my WH or 40K army it may have gotten ugly.

I know that guy was never invited back for any game even though we knew each other.

My guess is this guy has a lot of issues in his life and having the game suddenly turn on him and go badly was more than he could take.

I've seen gamers take a loss way to hard and often nearly break down because of it. Usually, it's because the gaming is their escapism and if the rest of their life seams to be going wrong for them currently and suddenly their one thing they do to forget and have fun goes all wrong too... well, people snap.

I do know them well, he and I served together and shot
camel killers in Iraq. Lost a lot of good friends to, so i
thought we were tight. I got my greenskins from a close
friend i use to work with. It was his baby before he gave them to me.
You all know him as "nieto666". Pisses me of that some of the boyz got roughed up and some of the metal ones have to be put back together. Wish i could "turn back time..dodo"

I've seen a couple of tweens tear up because a game of 40K didn't go their way, but it sounds like this guy has something going on more than just an isolated bad day. I hope you get to the bottom of things and fix your friendship, because you know the old saying. "Friends must be nurtured, but enemies breed like rats."

Well... Gak, that sucks.

My bro served in Afghanistan. Most of us think of war as a hobby, but some people have seen some uber-grimdark gak
Post traumatic stress disorder is a sly beast. Horrific events can be repressed and lie dormant, and everyone has their own way of dealing with repressed memories.
Possibly he saw the faces of lost homies in units that had lost combat? Just a hypothesis... Not an expert, just a brother.
I do know that soldiers are trained to be bad asses, from dusk till dawn. Some have a hard time asking for help.
Veterans organizations and support groups are just a Google query away. I hope things get better for you and your friend.
My brother is doing good, but of late his is making somewhat... weird life decisions. I'm just glad he didn't really go to Nevada to be a gold miner... :face palm:

Sucks to hear about the minis. (Quick, Tim, think of something cleaver to close with...)
You are extending the joy of putting together your army without having to spend much?
Meh, YMMV. I am putting together my boys right now, and I am at 14 boys finished out of, oh... 126. Not to mention the battle wagon, the truck, etc... I am having fun, but it is daunting as hell!

ip vin snarller dehizvin wrote:I do know them well, he and I served together and shot
camel killers in Iraq. Lost a lot of good friends to, so i
thought we were tight.

You'd be surprised what some people can be struggling through and not tell their close friends.

If he's a good mate I'd just let it ride as one of those things. If he starts blowing his top at other times I'd try talking to him.

Your brother is courageous. Most people don't realize how important it is to win that battle.

ip vin snarller dehizvin wrote:I just dont get it. I was gaming today and the guy i was playing blew up and turned the table over. I almost thought i was dreaming.

Now the first thing you guys will want to know is why, well i dont know why. It was a well rounded game. Both of us took even loses.

Both rolled well and as far as i could tell we where having fun. He was playing Ogres and i was playing greenskins. Up to the end we

held pretty even, then right near the end i started to run his army off the table. knocked out his Bucther with grimgor. Then nailed his

big unit of 12 bulls to the wall with small group of 40 night goblins and some 25 boyz. All and all what wasn't, dead or running was in CC .

I thought well time for him to concede and maybe we could get two games in. I had my dwarves that im working on and wanted to give them a

spin. Next thing i know almost 1500pts of my army is on the floor and he is picking his stuff up. Wouldn't talk to me or even let me get my guys up.

Now i thought i handle it well with him cussing, me keeping my kool. When his girl comes out of the kitchen and say go out side for a moment.(of my own house no doubt)

I laughed (wrong thing to do) she turns beat red. He is almost done and i was in a combat unit so i always think there is gonna be a fight. She must have

saw it in my eyes as she knows me well. She starts pushing him and saying shut up, lets get out of here. I laugh and say hey no had feelings its just a game.(soul breaks a little)

lets forget this and clean up and talk it out. Long story short as i see them pulling out of my yard. All i can think is they are never coming back and i don't know why.

Has this every happened to anyone else? Am i alone in this? I a person who does not let small things like this get to me......but should i care and try to push the issue?

Let me know what you guys and ladies think?

thanks

Wait this is in your house? At that moment "Leave or I will kill you," would have come out my lips. His army would have been in the street.
You bring violence into my house and its going to be very very bad.

His girlfriend told you to get out of your house?

I like the way you describe that you handled things. I can only hope to conduct myself similarly in that situation.

Entertaining the possibility that there was bigger stuff going on in his head, life issues, post traumatic stress, or what have you, then I think maybe you should let it slide..?

Have you actually spoken to him post-incident about what happened?

Thats really disgusted me. Just because of the values I was brought up with I think about respecting other peoples posessions and certainly them in their own home. If it had been my army off a turned over table even on a good day I would have instantly flipped, but being told to get out my own house too?

Ofcourse that would just be the instant reaction, I can fully understand that sometimes people bottle stuff up and it can explode over something really stupid as it's what I often end up doing, last time I started to blow I didnt get far into it as the person in question had run crying out of the house inside 2 minutes of me talking. The guys girlfriend may have known something you didnt and was going to help, maybe it was just a bad day, the last straw or so on. Best thing you could do if you want the friendships to continue is go talk to them, but make it clear you're not there to have stuff taken out on you.

Vermillion wrote:Thats really disgusted me. Just because of the values I was brought up with I think about respecting other peoples posessions and certainly them in their own home. If it had been my army off a turned over table even on a good day I would have instantly flipped, but being told to get out my own house too?

Ofcourse that would just be the instant reaction, I can fully understand that sometimes people bottle stuff up and it can explode over something really stupid as it's what I often end up doing, last time I started to blow I didnt get far into it as the person in question had run crying out of the house inside 2 minutes of me talking. The guys girlfriend may have known something you didnt and was going to help, maybe it was just a bad day, the last straw or so on. Best thing you could do if you want the friendships to continue is go talk to them, but make it clear you're not there to have stuff taken out on you.

Why on earth would you want the friendship to continue? They violated the sanctity of his his house.

Res Ipsa Loquitur ?

There is no Tradition more important than the tradition of Dominion.

Frazzled wrote:

Vermillion wrote:Thats really disgusted me. Just because of the values I was brought up with I think about respecting other peoples posessions and certainly them in their own home. If it had been my army off a turned over table even on a good day I would have instantly flipped, but being told to get out my own house too?

Ofcourse that would just be the instant reaction, I can fully understand that sometimes people bottle stuff up and it can explode over something really stupid as it's what I often end up doing, last time I started to blow I didnt get far into it as the person in question had run crying out of the house inside 2 minutes of me talking. The guys girlfriend may have known something you didnt and was going to help, maybe it was just a bad day, the last straw or so on. Best thing you could do if you want the friendships to continue is go talk to them, but make it clear you're not there to have stuff taken out on you.

Why on earth would you want the friendship to continue? They violated the sanctity of his his house.

If he went with the "the guy was having a bad day/week etc" thing.

Thanks all for the advice.
Yes it upset me, dont get me wrong im no saint.
But....we served together and went through alot of sh!t out there.
Lost good friends and shed blood on the battle field.
That said i have talked to her and she wants to get together, but he won't talk to her about it. She says he keeps telling her its something that happened from before.
He say its just something she can't understand and now he dosnt have me to talk to about it. Ive tried to talk to him, but no go. So , im at a lost what to do next.
What do you all think?

Again, respectfully, and this is personal so your $.02may differ.
If you disturb the harmony of my house, my wife and children's house, the best thing thats going to happen is we're not speaking any more. I'm stone cold serious in this scenario when the table flips, instantly the other party and anyone with them are being escorted off property at a high rate of speed while something called "brandishing" is occurring.

First, thanks for serving. Also, I wouldn't follow anyone's advice of ending a friendship thats been through combat and lost good friends together. Most users on this board just don't know what that is like and treasure their bonds with their toys more which is understandable considering a lot of users spend an ungodly amount of time and money to 'em.

However the guy didn't start an altercation or anything although he did act like a d-bag. But if this starts becoming common behavior then I wouldn't game with him anymore and would politely try to help him get on the sportsmanship track.

Now here's where I play devil's advocate:

Did you act in a manner that could've made you look like a d-bag such as gloating? Do you usually win against this guy? You said his g/f mentioned something about the past and he didn't want to talk about it since she wouldn't understand...that could be all sorts of things including Warhammer related.

Cane wrote:First, thanks for serving. Also, I wouldn't follow anyone's advice of ending a friendship thats been through combat and lost good friends together. Most users on this board just don't know what that is like and treasure their bonds with their toys more which is understandable considering a lot of users spend an ungodly amount of time and money to 'em.

However the guy didn't start an altercation or anything although he did act like a d-bag. But if this starts becoming common behavior then I wouldn't game with him anymore and would politely try to help him get on the sportsmanship track.

Now here's where I play devil's advocate:

Did you act in a manner that could've made you look like a d-bag such as gloating? Do you usually win against this guy? You said his g/f mentioned something about the past and he didn't want to talk about it since she wouldn't understand...that could be all sorts of things including Warhammer related.

Bullit this doesn't have a god amn to do with toy soldiers.
As I said my advice was from me in my circumstances.
Family comes before everything. All other considerations rescinded. Had this occurred in my house it would have impacted the family and he would have been a threat. He'd never see daylight anywhere near my house after that. He'd never get within 10 yds of my family after that. At best.

Occurred outside of the house-different situation.
Inside of the house-imminent threat of gross physical harm to my family. I choose those words specifically to reflect the intent and extent of threat I would view that as.

Frazzled wrote:

Cane wrote:First, thanks for serving. Also, I wouldn't follow anyone's advice of ending a friendship thats been through combat and lost good friends together. Most users on this board just don't know what that is like and treasure their bonds with their toys more which is understandable considering a lot of users spend an ungodly amount of time and money to 'em.

However the guy didn't start an altercation or anything although he did act like a d-bag. But if this starts becoming common behavior then I wouldn't game with him anymore and would politely try to help him get on the sportsmanship track.

Now here's where I play devil's advocate:

Did you act in a manner that could've made you look like a d-bag such as gloating? Do you usually win against this guy? You said his g/f mentioned something about the past and he didn't want to talk about it since she wouldn't understand...that could be all sorts of things including Warhammer related.

Bullit this doesn't have a god amn to do with toy soldiers.
As I said my advice was from me in my circumstances.
Family comes before everything. All other considerations rescinded. Had this occurred in my house it would have impacted the family and he would have been a threat. He'd never see daylight anywhere near my house after that. He'd never get within 10 yds of my family after that. At best.

Occurred outside of the house-different situation.
Inside of the house-imminent threat of gross physical harm to my family. I choose those words specifically to reflect the intent and extent of threat I would view that as.

All that is understandable over reaction, tough guy nonsense when we're talking about two combat veterans who have a friendship civilians wouldn't understand.

Sorry that you seem to have gotten offended about my toy soldiers comment but its not something to get one's panties in a bunch. Your circumstances doesn't seem to play much of a role here and my advice was pertaining to his (presumably someone that is single and has served in combat with the person in question whereas you're a family man).

Working hard for that most crotchety title eh?


Automatically Appended Next Post:
Put it at this way, these guys both served in combat and were willing to die for eachother and had friends that paid this price.

I'm sure those values overrule the 'sanctity' of one's home especially since the only 'casualties' were a few broken toys including the perp's. The OP already stated much reluctance in going the, imo, over-reacting route of excommunication et al due to this special bond.

Cane wrote:

Frazzled wrote:

Cane wrote:First, thanks for serving. Also, I wouldn't follow anyone's advice of ending a friendship thats been through combat and lost good friends together. Most users on this board just don't know what that is like and treasure their bonds with their toys more which is understandable considering a lot of users spend an ungodly amount of time and money to 'em.

However the guy didn't start an altercation or anything although he did act like a d-bag. But if this starts becoming common behavior then I wouldn't game with him anymore and would politely try to help him get on the sportsmanship track.

Now here's where I play devil's advocate:

Did you act in a manner that could've made you look like a d-bag such as gloating? Do you usually win against this guy? You said his g/f mentioned something about the past and he didn't want to talk about it since she wouldn't understand...that could be all sorts of things including Warhammer related.

Bullit this doesn't have a god amn to do with toy soldiers.
As I said my advice was from me in my circumstances.
Family comes before everything. All other considerations rescinded. Had this occurred in my house it would have impacted the family and he would have been a threat. He'd never see daylight anywhere near my house after that. He'd never get within 10 yds of my family after that. At best.

Occurred outside of the house-different situation.
Inside of the house-imminent threat of gross physical harm to my family. I choose those words specifically to reflect the intent and extent of threat I would view that as.

All that is understandable over reaction, tough guy nonsense when we're talking about two combat veterans who have a friendship civilians wouldn't understand.

Sorry that you seem to have gotten offended about my toy soldiers comment but its not something to get one's panties in a bunch. Your circumstances doesn't seem to play much of a role here and my advice was pertaining to his (presumably someone that is single and has served in combat with the person in question whereas you're a family man).

Working hard for that most crotchety title eh?

Always working hard for the crotchety title...duh!

I've said this repeatedly is my circumstance. He's posted on a general board. He's going to get a variety of replies. If he doesn't want that then don't post the scenario here-easy solution.
As I stated this is representative of someone with a family. Serving in combat is not relevant when families are involved. Nothing else matters compared to the safety of the family. Nothing.

Here, Here! Frazz for President. Just make sure not to leave your Birth Certificate in your other pants in Hawaii so you can prove you are a US Citizen.

It seems you are old enough.

I'd vote twice for you Frazz.

Frazzled wrote:

I've said this repeatedly is my circumstance. He's posted on a general board. He's going to get a variety of replies. If he doesn't want that then don't post the scenario here-easy solution.
As I stated this is representative of someone with a family. Serving in combat is not relevant when families are involved. Nothing else matters compared to the safety of the family. Nothing.

Understandable but what a lot of civilians don't understand is that guys like the OP's friend is probably considered on the same tier as family when it comes to people they care about. Serving in combat together and seeing friends pay the ultimate price can make bonds stronger than our blood-related ones.

Cane wrote:

Frazzled wrote:

I've said this repeatedly is my circumstance. He's posted on a general board. He's going to get a variety of replies. If he doesn't want that then don't post the scenario here-easy solution.
As I stated this is representative of someone with a family. Serving in combat is not relevant when families are involved. Nothing else matters compared to the safety of the family. Nothing.

Understandable but what a lot of civilians don't understand is that guys like the OP's friend is probably considered on the same tier as family when it comes to people they care about. Serving in combat together and seeing friends pay the ultimate price can make bonds stronger than our blood-related ones.

We're just going to have to agree to disagree there. You may be my brother but them's my kids, so you're going down.
AS you noted, probably not relevant in this circumstance.
I'll move on to quite sucking the O2 out of the conversation, so that more constructive comments can be made (but yea sounds like he's working through things and not being TFG-which is why GF wanted you to get out so she could "chat" with him).

Yea in this situation the OP knows a ton more about what could be wrong and here's hoping for the best. People who you serve with in combat are generally great candidates for lifelong friends...not too many people one can relate to on that level after all especially if he plays Warhammer to boot.

Fateweaver wrote:

Is this guy trolling again? In a thread about combat vets and losing friends in war - seems a bit strange and trollish to use a picture like this. I'd understand it in a context where you want to engage war with someone that we're currently at peace with but here, not so much unless I'm just reading too much into it with PC goggles. Sorry for this derailment but the pic seemed kind of random and a bit trollish.