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Ok i had a great idea for a thread.. I was driving along today and listening to the radio.. well... I really hate the new Gaga song. Its all "yeah, your so awesome! believe in yourself baby! your special!"

And that new Katy Perry song.. I hate that as well cos its pretty much the exact same. I just really hate the whole idea of empowering music, delivered by people who are in the most fickle and shallow industry in the world. Its alright for Gaga et al to say how special and wonderful everyone is, but you dont see her going on a date with a big fat ginger guy who works in HMV. At least I can admit im shallow and I dont like stupid ugly people. They are just as fickle but pretend that they aren't and as a result i find the whole genre (can it be called a genre?) insulting. If it isnt a genre, then im making it one, im calling it "motivational gak-pop!"

I especially hate that whole "you go get em girlfriend, your super awesome!" sort of song, you know the type I mean.

The type of song that, when the DJ puts in on in your local dive nightclub or bar, all the big fat gopping women suddenly go "Shhrriieeeekkk!!" Woooohooo!!", and drag their ample frames onto the dancefloor, cheering and throwing their hands into the air, while the men shake their heads, and bury their faces deeper into their pint glasses.

So, name some of the worst tunes you can imagine that fit the above desciption, or only one if you cant think of many. I got loads instantly springing into my mind when i first sat down and thought about it, so, im sure if everyone gets in on the act we can come up with a few hundred!

Heres mine...







And the absolute cringe inducing winner, the one that has all the munters with the funny teeth singing along to..

I don't recall the tittle of the song,but the one by Beyoce that starts out with " To the left..to the left..everything you owns in a box to the left...",that one always get's the big girls on the floor...which always makes me chuckle.

Thats a good one Chowder, what a doggak tune.

The beyonce one..well.. i dont know the exact name, but it cant be much worse than.

I win the thread.

And I quote:

Pretty, pretty please
Don't you ever, ever feel
Like your less than
F****n' perfect
Pretty, pretty please
If you ever, ever feel
Like your nothing
You're f****n' perfect to me

Arg! I almost forgot her!




When I saw this video I was on the running machine in the gym and I wanted to kick her teeth in. If she threw a punch at me in a music shop Id put the bitch through the goddamn window!

My generation's music sucks, doesn't it?

Chowderhead wrote:

Spoiler:

I win the thread.

And I quote:

Pretty, pretty please
Don't you ever, ever feel
Like your less than
F****n' perfect
Pretty, pretty please
If you ever, ever feel
Like your nothing
You're f****n' perfect to me

I like that song. I'm afraid the weiner dogs are sending you a little care package. Completely unrelated, but have you ever smelled weiner dog puke? Er...no reason...

Frazzled wrote:

Chowderhead wrote:

Spoiler:

I win the thread.

And I quote:

Pretty, pretty please
Don't you ever, ever feel
Like your less than
F****n' perfect
Pretty, pretty please
If you ever, ever feel
Like your nothing
You're f****n' perfect to me

I like that song. I'm afraid the weiner dogs are sending you a little care package. Completely unrelated, but have you ever smelled weiner dog puke? Er...no reason...

...Yes. Yes I have. It is the most foul smelling substance known to man.

I have two sons that play ice hockey, and I volunteer to do music at many of their games as well as at other games in the organization (it has become a minor hobby of sorts: I use a mac with sound board software direct into the arena PA, etc.).

As such i have to play a good number of songs that fall into this category.

My job isn't to play music I like/respect/want to listen to, it is to play songs that the players like, that the average joe in the stands will like and that fit the concept of "Arena usic".

This has resulted in a rather cheesy and cliche collection of metal and rock anthems, a smattering of organ music, some of the expected techno favs, certain obligatory rap gems, and whatever songs generally have a good riff/hook/etc. suitable for a 10-20 second fill etc., etc.

Most of it I wouldn't be caught dead listeniing to in my own ipod.

But then I am not there to play what I want to listen to, I'm there to pump up the crowd/players, and add to the expected atmosphere.

So yeah I have played Tub Thumping (and worse) on occassion...

I was going to post about Pink's Stupid Girl but I remembered an article on AV Club once that said it just as well and has a lot more to boot. Every one on the list is a 'message' song.

Misguided Feminist Anthems

Wait Aretha Franklin is on this list. What godless commie pinko sausage making latte swilling apostate of the speghetti monster would put Aretha Franklin on that list? Plus the song itself is an absolute classic. May a thousand camels' fleas infest your armpits!

CT GAMER wrote:I have two sons that play ice hockey, and I volunteer to do music at many of their games as well as at other games in the organization (it has become a minor hobby of sorts: I use a mac with sound board software direct into the arena PA, etc.).

As such i have to play a good number of songs that fall into this category.

My job isn't to play music I like/respect/want to listen to, it is to play songs that the players like, thta the average joe in the stands will like and that fit the concept of "Arena usic".

This has resulted in a rather cheesy and cliche collection of metal and rock anthems, a smattering of organ music, some of the expected techno favs, certain obligatory rap gems, and whatever songs generally have a good riff/hook/etc. tp be a go 10-20 second fill etc., etc.

Most of it I wouldn't be caught dead listenign to in my own ipod.

But then I am not there to play what I want to liten to, I'm there to pump up the crowd/plyers, and add to the expected atmosphere.

So yeah I have played Tub Thumping (and worse) on occassion..

If you were in any rink in Canuckistan, particularly Western Canuckistan, your job would be too easy. All you'd need is a BonScott AC DC album and a single of the 'Rodeo Song'.

Frazzled wrote:Wait Aretha Franklin is on this list. What godless commie pinko sausage making latte swilling apostate of the speghetti monster would put Aretha Franklin on that list? Plus the song itself is an absolute classic. May a thousand camels' fleas infest your armpits!

Word.

Also, anything by Beyonce p*sses me off. Actually, she just does that. There's also that british chick (she's Cockney (sp?), I think) whose name i refuse to know who sings these childish little things in which she wishes horrible things to happen to her exes. Something about fingertips and cracks in relations or summat. Given her attitude, I'm surprised she managed to get far enough that they can be called such.

Frazzled wrote:Wait Aretha Franklin is on this list. What godless commie pinko sausage making latte swilling apostate of the speghetti monster would put Aretha Franklin on that list?

Did you read the commentary or just see that she was on the list?

Bran Dawri wrote:

Frazzled wrote:Wait Aretha Franklin is on this list. What godless commie pinko sausage making latte swilling apostate of the speghetti monster would put Aretha Franklin on that list? Plus the song itself is an absolute classic. May a thousand camels' fleas infest your armpits!

Word.

Also, anything by Beyonce p*sses me off. Actually, she just does that. There's also that british chick (she's Cockney (sp?), I think) whose name i refuse to know who sings these childish little things in which she wishes horrible things to happen to her exes. Something about fingertips and cracks in relations or summat. Given her attitude, I'm surprised she managed to get far enough that they can be called such.

are you thinking of Lily Allen?

Ahtman wrote:I was going to post about Pink's Stupid Girl but I remembered an article on AV Club once that said it just as well and has a lot more to boot. Every one on the list is a 'message' song.

Misguided Feminist Anthems

Great article. I really should read more of the AV Club.

Gads all Pink's songs are like that... Christina Aguilera's Beautiful is my Nomination. I would say Creed but their songs are a bit of a guilty pleasure, gotta love it when he brings his fists up to chest to emphasize a particularly 'powerful' lyric....

Khornholio wrote:

CT GAMER wrote:I have two sons that play ice hockey, and I volunteer to do music at many of their games as well as at other games in the organization (it has become a minor hobby of sorts: I use a mac with sound board software direct into the arena PA, etc.).

As such i have to play a good number of songs that fall into this category.

My job isn't to play music I like/respect/want to listen to, it is to play songs that the players like, thta the average joe in the stands will like and that fit the concept of "Arena usic".

This has resulted in a rather cheesy and cliche collection of metal and rock anthems, a smattering of organ music, some of the expected techno favs, certain obligatory rap gems, and whatever songs generally have a good riff/hook/etc. tp be a go 10-20 second fill etc., etc.

Most of it I wouldn't be caught dead listenign to in my own ipod.

But then I am not there to play what I want to liten to, I'm there to pump up the crowd/plyers, and add to the expected atmosphere.

So yeah I have played Tub Thumping (and worse) on occassion..

If you were in any rink in Canuckistan, particularly Western Canuckistan, your job would be too easy. All you'd need is a BonScott AC DC album and a single of the 'Rodeo Song'.

Yes AC/DC makes up a number of appearances in my song banks...

I don't know about the worst self empowerment song, but I know one that is actually good: Minority by Green Day.

I was forced to attend a 'people building' course for two solid fething weeks by a previous employer.

The fething stupid course, run by a repulsively 'bubbly' woman (one of those 5ftnothing chunky women with too much gold jewellery, orange skin and a rictus grin permanently fixed to her dead-eyed face), was started every morning and finished every evening by the bitch playing this 'song' which I now hate with enough rage to detonate a small moon.






Listening to the first few bars of this as I linked it, I am now filled with the urge to crack someone's skull with a clawhammer.

mattyrm wrote: They are just as fickle but pretend that they aren't

Not trying to flame or anything, but that sounds alot like people who go to church.

And politicians.

And Cops.

And......

Though on topic; THIS is my kind of Self Empowerment:

I hate this 1 here.....





Terrible song and I hate it how people use autotune now.

Well it starts with hating Gaga and Katy Perry songs that are motivational. I have trouble with this because frankly I hate all Gaga songs and nearly all Katy Perry

My worst motivational song would be David Bowie's "Jump they Say." I love the song immensly, and I first thought it was about disregarding what people said about you and always doing what felt right.

But then I found out what it was really about... Apparantly, it's about his schizopherenic half-brother who jumped in front of a train.

Kind of killed my buzz.

The worst thing about all of the people involved in the composition and performance of these songs (for we can assume that they are often not one and the same person, which is interesting in itself), is that they don't actually care about empowering downtrodden people. They don't care about making people feel better about themselves - they're doing it for money. Which is fine, except the target audience for this sort of dross really believes in it - they believe that Christina Aguilera is speaking for them and to them. The same applies to bands like My Chemical Romance - you think they really give a gak about you?

How pathetic is that?

As long as you understand that you're just a meal ticket to these people, it's actually pretty easy to enjoy this crap on it's own terms. I quite like the music of Beyonce, for example - 'Single Ladies' is one of the most cutting-edge mainstream pop songs to be released in years.

Yeah MGS that sounds like my own personal hell right there...

Search for the hero?! Gimme a fething break.

I hate My Chemical Romance as well... that whole greebo thing. They act like they want to be different because they are so desperate to fit in. I think the whole idea of motivational music is just ridiculously pathetic as a whole.

Lily Allen has the musical talent of a shoe. It sounds like the lyrics to her songs were written by an 8 year old.

Better than most "self-empowerment" songs, but stills sounds as cheesy as feth to me.

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Anything by Beyonce and Katy Perry. I also hate Lily Allen and Bruno Mars, but that's just because she whines in all her songs and Bruno, well, Bruno is just stupid.

I am refusing to contribute any songs to this thread on the grounds that I don't want Frazzled to have any more motivational tunes for his weekly book-burning and witch hunting outings.