Shadowy Grot Kommittee Memba
The Great State of New Jersey
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Storytime(yes its long, deal with it): She's a foreign exchange student (from Denmark), happens to live in the apartment above mine. It was about 2 months ago, my roommates and I knew of her and her roommate, but we never really talked or associated much. Anyway, she came downstairs one day to invite us up to a party at her place, I happened to be the only one home that weekend, so I agreed. As it was a "hat party" I was told I had to wear a hat... hating hats with a passion, the only thing I had was my hockey helmet... so I wander on upstairs wearing a hockey helmet, instant classic w/ her and her fellow Danes (I don't speak Danish, but my guess is that when I answered her yes, I do play Ice Hockey, and she immediately made some remark in foreignese that prompted giggles from her and her friends, that it was probably a good thing). Anyway, the night goes on, it eventually starts winding down to a close. She asks me to help her get people out of her apartment (its like 5 am), so I oblige, a bunch of people were in her room for whatever reason, so she asks me to go with her and check her roommates room (meher ore people). In her roommates room is a drunk German exchange student, who tries using a corny pickup line (your father took the stars out of the sky and put them in your eyes or something to that effect). I can tell it made her uncomfortable so I defuse the situation by saying "Dude, that was so beautiful I would almost turn gay for you!." Well either the guy didn't get it or he didn't care, but he tried to press the issue, and kinda scared the gak outta her, so she grabbed me (around the waist) and used me as a shield basically (considering there were a few other people in the room at this point who she was more familiar with, I'll take this as another good sign).
Anyway, I help her clear out her apartment, but shes freaked by this one guy (not the German) who was totally drunk that was making a mess of himself, etc. So I agreed to chill up at her place (w/ one other dude) until she felt safe. Anyway, we have a nice chat, she invites me (only me) to come back upstairs tomorrow to help her finish the leftover beer. The other dude and I were basically in a friendly standoff over this girl at this point. She eventually insinuates that we should both just get out, throws me a hug and reminds me to come back up the next day. I leave, sleep happens, wake up. Mid afternoon I wander upstairs, have a few beers and invite her and her friends to dinner in the city w/ me (they hadn't really been out to the bars or anything due to a lack of transportation). Things go alright, yadda yadda, life happens week occurs, don't really get much time to talk, see her around campus she always smiles and waves at me when she sees me, etc. One night its like 10pm I'm sitting out on my roof (and posted a facebook status indicating as much). Five minutes later shes outside sitting next to me, we talked until like 1AM about everything and anything (past relationships came up (I just got out of one with a mutual acquaintance), and she seemed to be curious if I was in love with the other chick, to which I assured her it was done and over with, took that as a sign she was testing the waters). I'm thinking I'm good to go, gonna make a move soon. Anyway, weekend comes around, its a roommates party, so I took her and some friends out with us (see more bars, etc.) things go well, almost got the kiss, but then a friend of mine (who is completely clueless) shuts me down and distracts us for just long enough to ruin the moment. To make matters worse, this guy who I really don't like, call him "X" shows up and starts interfering, for the most part I'm able to shut him down (I tossed a peanut in her beer, which set the stage for future flirtation) and he isn't a major nuisance. Anyway, we leave, I drive her and friend home and drop her off (she was feeling tired) while the rest of us continue on (I was unfortunately Sober driver that night, so I had no choice...).
Fast forward a few days, studying at a building on campus, she starts facebook messaging me (originally about the peanut), telling me I should ditch that building and meet her over at another one, which I agree to (the building is supposedly haunted, and I offered to help her scare the gak out of her friend, which I did successfully. Anyway, right after I get there, they pack up and leave, I'm like WTF? but I go with them (the town our school is in isnt the safest place in the world). On the walk, the subject of X comes up, with one of her friends insinuating that something happened between the two of them in the past (I would later learn from X that they have supposedly hooked up over a month prior to this, which makes no sense because X had to introduce himself to her at the bar the previous night), I question what was just said (half that conversation was in Danish), to which I'm given an obviously false roundabout answer. Anyway, I'm like whatever and we finish the walk back, and we chill out in my apartment talkin for like 15 minutes, and then she hands me a flower (that her friend had given her previously) and leaves.... as she leaves she says "I need to get naked and go to bed" to which I (stupidly) said "Awww do you need to go upstairs to do that?" which got a double take from her, a bit of a smile, and some excuse or something which I didn't pay attention to as I laughed it off and wished her goodnight.
The next night doesn't go quite as well for me, same deal she starts fb chatting me, asking me to watch a movie with her. I ask her which one, to which she responds Titanic or Titanic 2 (both of which are real movies) or Bring it On 1-5 (also real). I'm like, alright, gimme an hour and I'll see what I can do. Then she starts listing off more movies, fake ones, etc. and I'm getting frustrated because it turns out that her roommate would be watching it with us, and she's really not giving me any straight answers as to what she wants to do, and I'm also in the middle of a group meeting for a class where I basically have to do all the work because everyone else is clueless and I'm running the show but they are arguing with me that I'm the one who is clueless, etc. (I got them A's in the class, I think we all know who the clueless one was), anyway I kinda snap at her a bit (unintentionally) and shes like, bah, you're boring, and I'm like sorry, not in a good mood, blah blah we stop talking for a bit, I give us both time to cool off (this is where it starts to get shaky between us). Eventually we have a little chat, things seem cool, etc. I figure, good to go.
Next day we meet up to study and stuff, she leaves before I do, asks me if I'm going to go with her so they can watch titanic or whatever, I say I'm leaving in 30 mins, need to get some work done, but I'll text you afterwards (its like midnight but she told me straight up she would be up til 2 or 3). I wander on home about 30 mins later, shoot her a text, and shes like we'll have to hold off on that. Alright, whatever, I'm going to bed. Weekend comes around, i take her to ice cream. We run into another mutual buddy who decides he should tag along. I'm annoyed at this point, because he's obviously killing my game, and trying to be all over her (we were lying on the grass outside the shop chilling and he decided to use her as a pillow or whatever, he got a little too comfortable and was kinda told off, so I wasn't worried. She put her arm around me at one point, a gesture that I didn't reciprocate because 1. I was trying not to spill my ice cream all over her, and 2. other guy was trying to crowd me out. Anyway, there was a party later that night which I invited her along to, and she happily agreed. Walked her back home and went about my business until it came time for the party. She was chilling on the roof waiting for me and pregaming with a friend. She gestured that I should sit next to her, which I did. We chilled a bit, waited for another couple friends to show up. Now realize, at this point I'm on 3 hours of sleep, and the only thing I've eaten all day is a ben and jerrys banana split... I pregamed with a four loko. I was sober enough to remember walking to the party through the front door and then I blacked out. I sobered up about midway through the party (after midnight...) to realize X was there and he was all over her. At this point I'm trying to figure out how to handle the situation as the party slowly draws to a close. I'm being outgamed (I couldn't even get near her to talk to her because he kept dragging her away) and I have no idea what to do (because I'm still pretty drunk). She goes into the bathroom and X and I have a... pleasant... little exchange, which results in me being pinned up against a wall being choked out by one of Xs really drunk buddies, just in time for her to walk out the bathroom and be like, wtf? At this point I'm just trying to enjoy myself while I figure stuff out, so i spend most of the night dancing with various people (she commented on my skill at one point, so she was paying attention). Anyway, eventually it comes down to me and the two of them. They're dancing and having a good time, then he starts kissing her and I'm like awww helll no... she notices me still there and is like, "Hey what do you want to listen to" (the last song came to an end). So I walk up to the laptop, say move over, and put on "**** You" by Cee Lo Green, as X walks out of the bathroom, grabs her and starts dancing w/ her. I'm like crap, and I start walking out and I'm like, hell no... so I walk back in, walk up behind X, say "Excuse me, the Lady and I need to have a word" and push him outta the way. I grab the girl in a hug and I basically said "Look, I really like you, don't really care if you feel the same or not, but do me a favor and do yourself a favor, don't sleep with that ******" (if you knew X well, you would understand, most of my friends were pretty impressed/proud of me for having done that). I walk out again, realize I wasn't done, walk back in, and bitch out X for being X (long story between me and him, won't get into it).
Anyway, I walk back home, I can't sleep so I run 5 miles at like 5 am, and then just crash down on the roof listening to music. At around 10AM, Xs friend (the one that choked me out) drives the girl and her 2 friends back (it was X's friends apartment). They get out of the car and see me and they all start smiling and waving at me and asking how I'm doing etc. I'm just like... aaaallllllllright? (not the reaction I was expecting). Anyway, the girl goes into her apartment, and about 20-30 mins later (after shes showered) she pops up on my roof (she has her own smaller roof section upstairs) and sits with me. We talk a little, but I'm still pretty pissed (and now totally confused) so I don't really say much, just let her do most of the talkin. Just polite conversation, nothing really deep, its quite obvious I'm pissed as all hell, but she endures and sits out there with me for a couple hours before disappearing. The next day I show up at a bar with a couple friends, and she happens to be there with a bunch of her friends. She sees me and smiles and waves (I return the gesture) and I see her grab ahold of one of her other friends (who I'm not really familiar with) and she made a gesture at me and said something to her and they both looked over at me and giggled and stuff, not really sure what that was about, whatever. I keep my distance for a bit, but eventually me and my friends get sucked into her group. I end up sitting down next to her, and make a half-assed apology for making her feel awkward the other night and gak and she was like yeah, it was pretty awkward, but I'm glad we're still talking, etc. As the night goes on the seating arrangements get rearranged (by intention or by accident I don't know) and she ends up a bit further away... X shows up, and I'm just like oh sonofabitch. We end up moving to another bar, X is keeping his distance, and I'm like alright, maybe things are over between those two, good to go...well, we're at the other bar, and they start buying me drinks (she does, her friends do, my own (completely blacked out) wingman does, I initially refuse, but I eventually give in, I'm brought to a near black out state. We decide to leave, and we're walking back home and I've basically got some one on one time with the girl, when all of a sudden X comes out of nowhere throws his arm around her and makes off with her. I'm like wtf? too drunk to do anything about it, I just go back home. I'm chilling on the roof the next morning and I see her walking back home with X. The two of them go their different ways and then she sees me smiles and waves. I'm royally pissed at this point and cold shoulder her. She actually looks kinda upset about that, but I'm like whatever (I really really like this girl, but I don't like being played...).
Later that night I shoot her a text inviting her and her friends to come out to the movies w/ me and a couple friends (one of my friends and her roommate seem to have developed a mutual attraction, so I did it as a favor to him). She politely rejects me (apparently they were cooking dinner at the time, although she questioned whether we were going to the theater or chilling in our apartment, so that seems to indicate that some interest was there), I'm like whatever, onward to the show (Thor). She sees me on the roof the next day and comes on over asking me how the movie was, etc. we have a polite little conversation, go our ways. This kinda continues a couple more times, we run into eachother at local bars etc. the next couple nights, but I keep my distance for the most part. I gradually start warming up to her again. The first night I come and sit down with her and her one friend towards the end of the night (it was a guys night out thing, so I had reason not to) and we talk and flirt a little bit, and then she gets up to look for one of her friends, leaving me alone at the table, so I'm like, damn, there goes that. Anyway, we bump into eachother later that night (mutual friends) talk a bit, and then she packs up and leaves. She says bye to a bunch of the other guys but kinda cold shoulders me. I make the comment "What you're not going to say bye to me?" and she is like "gak, sorry I almost forgot" and she hugs me (which is more than I asked or expected).
The next night is a similar story (guys night out) but my one buddy gets dragged over there by her roommate, so I follow to make sure hes alright as he gets pumped full of tequila. I introduce her to some of my other friends (married, no issues there), we have polite conversation, but she slowly ramps up the anti-chaos0xomega meter. It starts out with simple teasing, but eventually escalates to what are almost flatout insults. Anyway, I'm sober d for the night, and they all decide they want to get pizza and switch bars, so I oblige. I cram like 10 people into the car, she is sitting dead center of the backseat on her roommates lap. I drop a friend off at his place along the way(he was sitting in the front seat), and offer the seat up to whoever wants it. The girl is just like "Why would anyone want to sit up front when theres this awesome party back here" I'm just like ouch... As I'm driving to the pizzeria I notice (via the rear view mirror) that she is pretty much staring at me the entire time, I'm thinking its a death glare, but whatever. We get up to the pizzeria, they get their pizza and she starts walking over to the other bar with her roommate (its about half a mile down the road). Me and my buddy decide to drive over, as I drive past them I offer a ride, she calls shotgun (except my buddy is already in shotgun) so she jumps on his lap (keep in mind this is the same buddy her roommate is semi-involved with). I drop them off at the place, me and my buddy are going to go home, but she literally drags him out the car with the help of some friends. She slams the door and shouts "Come back later" or something to that effect. As I understood it, she was trying to get rid of me (judging by her behavior on the way out of the pizzeria, but she later clarified (a few days later) she meant park the car and meet us at the bar. Anyway, I park the car and show up at the bar, keeping my distance for the most part. Eventually her roommate has to much to drink, and she says they are going to walk back home (about half a mile away) and tells my buddy he should come. I pull out my car keys and she notices and then says on second thought maybe you shouldn't. So we drive back after he finishes his beer. We arrive about 1 minute before they did, and I was content to call it a night, but we passed her and her roommate/friend at the corner, so my buddy says lets wait, drunk people are fun.
He wanders over to them while I stand out in front of the apartment building, he eventually comes back and says something which prompted a high five. The girl (im interested in) is following behind and puts her hand up to high five me as well, but my buddy holds onto my hand instead and basically spins me around, so I left her hanging more or less. Anyway, they take her roommate upstairs through my apartment (their staircase is really hard to navigate when you're drunk, its a really tight spiral) but the girl stays outside to say goodnight to her two guy friends. I wait in the doorway (because its my apartment...) anyway, shes hugging them goodnight or whatever, and she jumps on one of them and starts straddling him and flirting with him, etc. I'm just like whatever, but I notice that she is glancing over at me as she does this, so I'm thinking she is trying to get me jealous at this point. Anyway, eventually she runs on upstairs, I go to bed. The next day bumped into her real briefly somewhere, I didn't have a shirt on at the time for whatever reason, and when she saw me she wolf whistled at me (I have a pretty nice body, not going to lie...), I just smiled and went about my business.
That weekend I take her out to ice cream and apologize for the stupid crap I did when I was drunk (the night X made off with her I apparently did some dumb crap, but I don't remember), it seems well received. We walk on up to a mutual friends apartment for a barbecue, we talk for a bit, and then we kinda mingle with our own separate friends. While there, she starts physically flirting with a mutual acquaintance (she has known him for a while now, hes a nice guy but has no game, completely non-threatened by this) in full view of me, etc. and she keeps shooting glances my way, etc. I mostly just ignore her, and give her space (I feel really awkward in light of what happened and she is quite a looker so she constantly has guys gaming her which can be a major turnoff, so I try to avoid coming on strong). Anyway, we leave around the same time and say goodbye or whatever. Later that day I took my contact lenses out and put my glasses on. The contacts are an old prescription that I dont really wear much, so there is a bit of an adjustment period when I switch from one form of vision correction to the other as I adjust to differing depth perception levels, etc. Anyway, it hit me hard that night and I was basically doubled over on the porch, trying to get some fresh air as she and her friends were walking out to a bar. She saw me and got all concerned and was like you should sit down, blah blah blah, I was like no, I'll be fine, just need to breathe. And then she invited me to come along with them (I turned down the offer, as I already had plans). Anyway, as it turned out she wasn't feeling well either, because she came back about 30 minutes later, just as I was leaving with one of my roommates... not really sure what was going on there, but I think I kinda missed an opportunity there (but in this case I had to help my roommate out because he lost his credit cards and id, etc. and we needed to find those quick).
Things kinda continue like this (running into eachother at bars or whatever), friendly conversation (and my roommate eventually reveals to me that he has known for a week or two that she didn't sleep with X on that second night, he just liked the competition, and once he won he lost that interest so he rolled over and fell asleep instead of doing anything... supposedly according to him), a little flirting and then she 'goes to the bathroom' and doesn't come back for a couple days, and then tuesday night happens. I had my last exam of the semester, along with most of my friends and roommates, so we celebrate by getting blitzed. I kill .5L of Jaeger to start the night, follow it up with gin and tonic, somehow I end up upstairs w/ a couple friends at her apartment. They're having a little get together before they go the bar. Basically its a bunch of mutual friends, half of which are also my competition. I accidentally spill a drink all over the table, make a fool of myself, I help her clean it up, whatever, no big deal, eventually we all leave together for the bar (my roommates/buddies left on their own about an hour prior).We walk down there without incident, a bit of talking and stuff, I'm mostly talking to my competition trying to figure out who I need to worry about, etc. We get down to the bar, and I'm like, alright its game time, I got my wingmen, lets do this... except one of my wingmen got the other completely blacked out gone, and needed help getting him home, so all three of them leave within ten minutes of me arriving. Great, I'm flying solo, and I have to somehow distract three other guys, oh and before that one wingman left he decided to have a chat with one of the girls friends about us to. He didn't get a straight answer as to what my chances are, just that they are going back to Denmark soon and other guys have tried and shes turned them down. I decide to mingle a little bit instead of chasing her, give myself a chance to develop a game plan and sober up a bit. She's sitting over at the bar one on one with the guy from the other day (the really nice one who I'm completely non-threatened by). I'm sober enough to read body language, shes in a lets just be friends stance, he is like "I LOOOOOVVVVE YOU" pose. I wander over and sit on her other side, order a beer, and start up a conversation... I wasn't sober enough to remember the exact conversation, but I know some topics we covered, and I know that she had really receptive body language (she completely turned her back on the other guy. I was also sitting with my legs kinda apart and she ended up putting her legs in between mine, her knees were basically in my crotch region). We talk for a bit, and eventually she does the whole bathroom thing and wanders off... At this point its me and the competition, we talk, and then I guess she got out of the bathroom (if she went there at all), because they all wandered over to wherever she was to chase her some more... so I follow suit, because the bar is pretty much empty at this point and I got noone to talk to... I kinda keep my distance (I take these one-way trips to the bathroom to be a sign of disinterest), and then X pops up...
He grabs me aside, and tries apologizing for what he did (we really don't like eachother that much, but we're not really enemies, and my roommates do associate with him (common classes/commitments, etc.) so he is aware of how pissed I was), and that it wasn't personal, just him having fun, etc. I'm like, dude, I really like this girl, its not about competition or sex for me, hes like well, I don't really think shes interested, but good luck, and then I point out that his wingman seems to be missing which causes him to run out of the bar. Anyway, me and the few people left there (who are mostly all people I know) chill for a bit, and then we decide to leave. We walk out the door, and X is standing there smoking a cigarette, we all say goodnight and start walking away, except the girl stops and turns around and says "We're all leaving, you should come with us" (now this REAAAAALLLY pissed me of, because she knows I really really do not like X, we had that conversation a couple times already, I haven't really explained to her why, because thats not my style, and she respects that, but she knows, so that really pissed me off in more ways than one). Anyway, X makes up some bs excuses, and then looks at me and basically gestures like you're welcome or whatever as we walk away. Im feeling kinda good about this, but still ticked that she would do that in front of me, regardless of whether or not she actually likes him or is using him to get me jealous (another thing to point out is that X has pretty much ignored this girl every time I've seen the two of them out together since the night they 'slept together,' like she will wander over to him, usually when I'm standing right there, and try talking to him, and he'll basically blow her off and walk away). Anyway, were walking up together, and the one guy with no game keeps forcing me away from her, physically throwing himself between me and her and pushing me off to the side. Invariably I end up walking next to her again and he repeats the process. After like the fifth time I say screw it, I'm not fighting over her anymore tonight, and just leave it be. Besides, I'm figuring that once we get up by our apartment that he'll go his separate way and I'll get alone time. Nope. Walks her to the door basically. I'm just like screw it, and decide to go to bed, except I decide to wait and offer her the use of my apartment (again, really had to navigate stairs to her place). She is talking to nonthreatening competition and a couple of the other guys that were with us about stuff, I kinda sit down inside the door to my apartment. The next thing I know she's standing in front of me saying "Chaos, chaos are you okay?" and I'm like, huh? What? Oh crap, musta fallen asleep, and she seems all worried and is asking me if Im okay, etc. I'm just like I'll be fine, and offer her to go through my apartment, which she gladly accepts, and then nonthreatening competition follows her in, and I'm just like, sonofa*****!!! (he ended up crashing on their couch because he drove over, dont get excited people). Anyway, I walk/stumble upstairs, round the corner to the hallway, and she's leaning up against the wall in front of my room, asking me if I'm going to be okay, etc. and I'm just like yea, I'm just tired, so she's like, go to sleep, I'll see you in the morning... so I went to sleep, just passed out in my bed.
I didn't see her in the morning, haven't really talked to her since (tuesday night). She's travelling with her roommates until Saturday (which is when I will next see her), but the question is, do I keep bothering (I'm running out of time, i have a week left up on campus, and about a month of time left before she departs the states)? How do I approach the situation (given the drama and all thats occurred, etc.)? Aside from X and her one friend, everyone I know thats aware of the situtation has been telling me that she looks interested in me, that shes playing hard to get, etc. etc. etc. I am feeling slightly less confident about all this, but still not really sure. I don't really need the advice (i have enough trusted sources that I know, really just need people that can read this and just nod in understanding), but it would be appreciated, as I'm a relative newbie when it comes to girls, and not really sure of what to make of all thats happened (I'm not a psychologist or anything, nor can I begin to understand the thought processes that goes through a girls head). Actually, if any Danes out there could give me some tips that would be helpful, there are cultural barriers/differences in effect I'm sure that would play a part in all this. Also, I suppose a non-biased outsiders perspective would be useful...
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