The Great Reaping (survival RP with new name)

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**Shas'ui T'au Kais**

A long time ago, it was predicted that the world would end on a certain date. That date was 2012.
The prediction was almost correct, it happened quite a few years after that, in 2025, and the world didn't end, at least the people that survived, which was not many, realised that. But from then on it was a terrible, terrifying, place.
There were massive Tsunamis, horrible earthquakes on a massive scale, and tornadoes that ravaged the land. Governments went into chaos, monuments being destroyed, some cities being taken directly off the map. For those who survived these Cataclysmic events, there was an even bigger threat coming. Monsters rose from the earth, and were named the Reapers, for their ability to bring swift death, they also came in a few different forms, and hardly any people know what they really look like, for those who see them usually meet their demise.
The year is now 2027. Small groups of survivors stick together for safety, and create small communities, hoping that they do not meet the Reapers. Very small groups of Bandits kill and steal, trying to make a living through others’ hardships.
You are a survivor. This is your life. May God be with you.

Character sheets will be like this,

Player Name:
Character Name:
Char Age:
Char appearance:
Equipment:
Backstory:
Other info:

Kaiser

**WARORK93**

I'd be interested in joining a restart, didn't like my character a whole lot anyway

I'm afraid I can't help you with the GMing part though, that's way beyond me...

**lord commissar klimino**

id like to play.although im more of a fallout guy myself

cant help with the GM though.

**Shas'ui T'au Kais**

As soon as I get someone willing to be GM, and enough players to start it, I will start it...

**Devastator**

Restart eh?
Still staying in your RP.

**Tyranic Marta**

Hey shas, you want me to GM?

If not then Terrance will return...

**Shas'ui T'au Kais**

I'll take your application...

... unless anybody else with more experience wants to then you can...

**FM Ninja 048**

AWWWWW!

is it a restart or a spinoff?

**Shas'ui T'au Kais**

Well, its basically just a new thread for it continuing straight from where it was left off, and I just think we need a new GM...

**Darkvoidof40k**

I'd happily GM.. but.. I already have prior responsibilities of the same nature that I need to fulfill at some point in the near future.

But really, you shouldn't have made a new thread, as this is technically spam. If you REALLY want to have a new thread, then it might be a good idea to collect everything from the old thread then have it locked or deleted. Or just forget the locking and deleting as it's a load of effort and just carry on.

Oh dear, I've rambled again. Whoops. *shruggles*

**Shas'ui T'au Kais**

So, are you being Gm, or joining again or what?

**Kasrkai**

I'll do it. PM my responsibilities and get me upto date.

**Vulkan_He'stan**

I'll join if theres still space

**Tyranic Marta**

cheers Karskai

TERRENCE WILL RETUUUUURRRRN

**lord commissar klimino**

im ok with him GMing. hope this starts soon.

**Tyranic Marta**

Alright Posting Character sheets...

**Tyranic Marta**

Player Name:Tyranic Marta
Character Name: Terence Blackwood
Char Age: 37
Char appearance: Lightly tanned skin and the surety of someone with many years of experience. Scars from some form of massive injury criss cross his chest, a doctor would say they look self inflicted, his left eye is a startling bright blue the other is a milky white, however he can still see out of it due to a wierd genetic disposition. His mouth is almost permanantly closed due to a bullet sawing through the nerves on the right side of his jaw, the wound slowly healing and so his speach is often short if at all spoken. A groove along his right cheek that reaches to his ear testament to the bullet wound. His powerful arms and strong legs suggest the build of someone who excels in bursts of strength that can be held and endured. His Leather Jacket has been lined with monofilament Titanium-Alloy fibres that increase its strength, his DPM pants come right out of a Pre-apocalyptic engagement, and his boots are military issue. His black singlet has seen its share of damage as its many patches attest. The final thing one would be drawn to upon seeing this grisiled veteran would be his length of black hair drain into a braid that reaches down his back, tipped at the end with 4 teeth taken from the mouth of one of his victims.
Equipment: His Remigington 40cal sniper rifle has dozens of kill marks on its weathered stock and the silenced SMG on a bandolier sling has its share too. A pack filled with ammo and grenades is strapped to his back, the kidney strap adorned with grenades and clip on magazine holsters for his SMG, a thigh holster holds a Browning 9mm silenced pistol and a 15" combat knife is slipped into its holster on his boot.
Backstory: Terence has seen fighting across all 7 continents in the service of various world powers, when the apocalypse stuck he was piloting a helicopter gunship that was engaging a rebel pirate ship of the coast of Peurto Rico fufilling a contract, he managed to rise above the breakers of the following Tsunami and head to the nearest refulling point that was still standing after the fall.

He hates to tell others of his past but the one thing he often speaks of is his sighting of one of the worlds most lethal predators, he will then laugh and mutter under his breath, "I looked in a mirror"
Other info: Loyal to few people except those who pay him he has a soft spot somewhere deep down that he nurtures but tells noone of.

WS: 3
BS: 4
S: 5
T: 5
W: 3
I: 3(2)
A: 2
LD: 8
Sv: 4+

**FM Ninja 048**

why do we have 40k stats? we're not playing 40k

**Tyranic Marta**

it helps with the pvp's if any and the vs reaper battles, the GM set our stats last time

**Tyranic Marta**

im just copying my char from the other thread

**lord commissar klimino**

k. post char sheet blank please.just simpler that way.

**Kasrkai**

Well, as soon as I get my info, I'll get right on it. As long as Taekwondo class doesn't interrupt me.

**Shas'ui T'au Kais**

I have decided that I will not use dice rolls to determine events, I will be doing it myself, and use your stats as guidelines to what you would succeed at in each situation.

And I will post the char sheet up now, and will finish everything else later, as I have work now...

**Shas'ui T'au Kais**

There, put the char sheet in the OP...

**Darkvoidof40k**

Make sure to plonk all the info from the old RP in this one's OP.

**Kasrkai**

DATA

Updated as of June 15, 7:21 AM US, 1:20 PM UK.

Characters: x13

Paused: x3
Fatalities: x1

Causes: Rage-quit x1

Stats:
Weapon Skill
Ballistic Skill
Strength
Toughness
Wounds
Initiative
Attacks
Leadership
Save

Player Name: Snarky
Character Name: Ken
Char Age: 26
Char appearance: An unshaven man in his mid 20's, ironically wears a firefighter helmet and hazard suit to protect him from his own pyromania.
Equipment: Small knife, Rucksack (contains a large amount of "useless" junk), Flamethrower (salvaged), copious quantities of kerosene stolen from gas stations, lighter, cigarettes.
Backstory: A coward and a thief, Ken managed to survive the worst of the end of the world by hiding in a basement. When it all seemed to calm down, everyone was dead. Or so he thought, there were monsters lurking everywhere. Heading to the gas station, he fashioned a home made flamethrower to deal with the monsters. Unfortunately the end of the world had obscured his judgement, convinced that another group of survivors holed up in an abandoned supermarket was a group of Reapers in disguise, he torched the entire place before looting it for supplies. His own personal motto is "If in doubt, kill it with fire."
Other info: The end of the world has taken it's toll on him, Ken is a paranoid pyromaniac who is also a kleptomaniac. He'll try to take anything that's not bolted to the ground, and burning anything that he can't carry with him.

[Gave you a boost for sake of balance]
WS:3
BS :3
S : 4
T: 4
I: 3
W: 3
A: 2
LD: 4

Player Name: lord commissar klimino
Character Name: Igo (Iigo not i go ) jerman
Char Age: 18
Char appearance: blondish brown short hair. green eyes.dirty,brown cowboy hat and jacket.
Equipment: 20 ga shotgun. 20 ga rnds (20). matches (3). water bottle. backpack.
Backstory:igo grew up with parents he hated.his 5 siblings were their favorite so he always got the hard jobs,the annoying jobs etc.so the 1st chance he got he killed his family. he then ran away to avoid being caught. he then spent the next year in a gang learning to shoot and steal til he left due to them being to low life for him. he then spent a year doing random jobs like hunter,bodyguard,scavenger,whatever got him what he needed to live. he learned his vehicle skills from a man who needed more help in his shop.
Other info: good with cars and vehicles.

WS: 3
BS: 3
S: 3
T: 3
W: 2
I: 3
A: 2
LD: 7
Sv: --

Player Name: Chowderhead
Character Name: Lev Vlassov
Age: 28
Appearance: Scar over 1 eye from childhood fight, Burn marks on back from a Car Bomb. About 6'3, a very slim height, however. He’s got a gruff charm to him.

Equipment- Barrett M107A1, Seiga Shotgun, Makarov Pistol, Arctic, Tundra and Grassland Ghillie Suit, K-Bar (His Grand-father's Knife, taken from a American GI in WWII) , Kevlar Vest, Walkie Talkies

Background Lev was born into a home with 6 brothers and 2 sisters. The parents were alcoholics, and Lev joined a gang, where he stayed for 6 years. He was caught at the age of 18 by the Soviet government. He was told he could join the Military, or die for his crimes. He joined the military, and has become a sniper after basic training. During the "Great Death", as he puts it, he was on assignment in the waists of Siberia. When the fissure began to open, and the animals began to howl, Lev and his partner, Dashka, began to run. Dashka as to slow, and he fell into the fissure, never to be seen again.
Lev now works as security for a small town known as “Cracked Peaks”, near the outskirts of Troy. He is on the run from the Elysium hunters, who stalk him and want to take him back to the Elysium for “Re-programming”.

Other: Lev has had 6 years of being in a gang, and 8 years of Soviet Spetnaz training. He never smiles, never makes a joke, and rarely speaks. He is at home in a large field with a Ghillie suit on. Lev also has implants from his time as a guard at the Elysium. These modify his WS, Strength, and initiative. When they are deactivated, these bonuses are taken away.

WS: 3(4)
BS: 6
S: 4(5)
T: 4
W: 3
I: 3 (5)
A: 3
LD: 8
Sv: 5+ (Flak Jacket under Ghillie Suit)

Player Name: blood reaper
Character Name: Subject Delta
Char Age: 39
Char appearance: Face and body covered inb strange knight like armour
Equipment: Two Swords and a Balisong (knife) along with Heavy armour
Backstory: Delta is a strange and extremly dangerous lunatic who once served as a mercenery for any one willing to pay a high price , after many years of killing and assinations Delta was imprisoned for his crimes and was driven mad by his failure to evade capture. When the apocalypse came Delta escaped and will continue to spread terror.
Other info: Utterly insane and will kill anything in his path

WS: 4
BS: 4
S: 4
T: 4
W: 3
I: 3(2)
A: 4
LD: 10
Sv: 5+

Player Name: Darko, of the Void of 40k
Character Name: Michael "Mikey" Kane
Char Age: 37
Char appearance: Strong, large build, broad shoulders, 6'5, large messy brown beard and hair
Equipment: M9 with belt holster, Mossberg 500 with back holster, 5 Additional M9 clips, 12 Gauge ammo pouch, 15" Bowie Knife in combat sheath - all mounted on a Bandolier.
Backstory: A dedicated Rugby player and ex-US military for years, Mike has always been a survivor, born and bred in the great state of Texas.
Other info: Holed up in a network of abandoned military bunkers with approximately 500 other survivors, including a hundred or so Home Guard.

WS: 4
BS: 4
S: 5
T: 5
W: 3
I: 3
A: 2
LD: 8
Sv: --

Player Name: Devastator
Character Name: Bonesaw
Char Age: 25
Char appearance: 1,7m , blond short hair
Equipment:Remington 700 with scope/sling, m9 with belt holster , back pack, combat knife, gas mask, Molotovs.
Backstory: "treasure" seeker with some military training, Bonesaw wanders village to village trading what ever she finds while looting.
Other info : paranoid and slightly insane

WS: 3
BS: 3
S: 4
T: 4
W: 3
I: 3
A: 2
LD: 8
Sv: --

Player Name: Potato_God, Lord of the Harvest
Character Name: Stix n Stones (Stix for short)
Char Age: 16
Char appearance: shaggy shoulder length hair, very worn grey jacket, patchwork pants.
Equipment: Machete, Old 9mm, 3 clips, FN-FAL, book of Grimms Fairy Tales
Backstory: Before the Incident, Stix was a feral child who lived in the Woods of the northern New York. since he was a small child, a hiker would come into the woods and visit him. He taught Stix how to read, speak, and gave him food and water. after the incident, Stix left the woods, trying to find the man who helped him, and just trying to survive; just like before.
Other info: feral child, is suspicious of people.

WS: 3
BS: 1
S: 3
T: 3
W: 2
I: 5
A: 3
LD: 7
Sv: --

Player Name: WARORK93
Character Name: Dimitri Petrenko
Char Age: 32
Char appearance: short, compact, scrappy, durable, 5'11, rugged, scruffy black hair, clothed in tiger stripe camo fatigues, gloves, camouflage bandanna and black combat boots
Equipment: AK-103 (foldable stock, SUSAT sights, extended mag, detachable suppressor) basically this, A survival knife/bayonet like this, combat shovel like this, and an RPG-7 launcher with no ammo, hazmat gear and gas mask
Backstory: Dimitri was a Spetznaz operative in the unstable Russian Federation government before the apocalypse, his squad survived by hiding in an old fallout bunker abandoned after the cold war. When they surfaced, they found the wastelands that used to be their homeland, and now wander aimlessly, seeking only to survive and be a force unto their own.
Other info: generally logical and calm, can be brutal and closed minded due to his training and experiences in the post apocalypse

WS: 4
BS: 5
S: 4
T: 4
W: 3
I: 4
A: 2
LD: 9
Sv: --

Player Name: Mordoskul, Grand Rplogian of DOOMFART
Character Name: Henry Miles
Age: 34
Appearance: Henry has a slightly pasty complexion, with a well-trimmed brown mustache and beard. He stands around 5'8.
Equipment: Bolt action rifle, pump shotgun, crowbar, survival kit with clean water, rations etc. Gas mask, leather armor, crank radio, swiss army knife, pre-disaster money, copy of Moby Dick.
Backstory: Henry was a family man, making a decent living working for a marketing company. He lived in Liverpool with his wife, Laura, and his teenage daughter, Sarah, in a nice-sized house in the middle of a nice neighborhood. He was a fit man, and jogged around the block everyday after work. His neighbors loved him, and he would often offer to perform odd jobs without fee, simply out of the goodness of his heart. Then the gak hit the fan. Henry and his family were at Ground Zero when the Reapers emerged, and barely managed to escape Liverpool, using the subways to take his family to safety. When the government collapsed, Henry and his family took to the road, scraping out an existence by raiding abandoned stores and shops. Then came Simon. While Henry and his family slept, a gang of raiders made to kill and rob them. Waking with a blade to his neck, he kicked his attacker off of him, waking his family in preparation to run for it. However, Laura had been stabbed to death in her sleep, and Sarah was no where to be seen, then he turned, and saw him. A well-dressed man wearing a surgeon's mask and a leather vest held a gun to his daughter's head, and introduced himself as Simon. He said he was taking Sarah, and there was nothing he could no about it. Henry was helpless, if he tried to intervene, she would die, if he didn't... Laughing cruelly, Simon and his minions piled into their jeep, and drove off into the distance, his daughter in tow. Flash forward six years, Henry is the perfect survivor, killing game with his high-powered rifle, and hunting raiders, searching for some word of Simon or his daughter. He will do anything, kill anyone, sacrifice anybody, to see his daughter alive.
Other info: Henry is a man with a mission: find Sarah and kill the sonnofabitch who took her.

WS: 4
BS: 4
S: 4
T: 4
W: 3
I: 4
A: 2
LD: 8
Sv: 6+

Player Name:FITZZ
Character Name:Sabrina "Whiskey" Lopez .
Char Age: 26
Char appearance: Latina,Tall (5'8") athletic build,dressed in fatigues .
Equipment: Carries a rucksack filled with supplies as well as an M-4,a Barreta 9MM and a K-Bar knife.
Backstory: Whiskey grew up in East L.A. and was a member of a local street gang,at age 17 she was arrested for the aggravated assault of a rival gang member and given the choice of either joining the armed forces or spending the next ten years in prison.
She opted to join the Army and was subsequently stationed in London.
Other info: Whiskey is a loner...trusting no one,she now wanders the waste land and ruins simply surviving from day to day...

WS: 3
BS: 4
S: 3
T: 3
W: 3
I: 4
A: 2
LD: 8
Sv: --

Player Name:Tyranic Marta
Character Name: Terence Blackwood, (No not the one from SURVIVE )
Char Age: 37
Char appearance: Lightly tanned skin and the surety of someone with many years of experience. Scars from some form of massive injury criss cross his chest, a doctor would say they look self inflicted, his left eye is a startling bright blue the other is a milky white, however he can still see out of it due to a wierd genetic disposition. His mouth is almost permanantly closed due to a bullet sawing through the nerves on the right side of his jaw, the wound slowly healing and so his speach is often short if at all spoken. A groove along his right cheek that reaches to his ear testament to the bullet wound. His powerful arms and strong legs suggest the build of someone who excels in bursts of strength that can be held and endured. His Leather Jacket has been lined with monofilament Titanium-Alloy fibres that increase its strength, his DPM pants come right out of a Pre-apocalyptic engagement, and his boots are military issue. His black singlet has seen its share of damage as its many patches attest. The final thing one would be drawn to upon seeing this grisiled veteran would be his length of black hair drain into a braid that reaches down his back, tipped at the end with 4 teeth taken from the mouth of one of his victims.
Equipment: His Remigington 40cal sniper rifle has dozens of kill marks on its weathered stock and the silenced SMG on a bandolier sling has its share too. A pack filled with ammo and grenades is strapped to his back, the kidney strap adorned with grenades and clip on magazine holsters for his SMG, a thigh holster holds a Browning 9mm silenced pistol and a 15" combat knife is slipped into its holster on his boot.
Backstory: Terence has seen fighting across all 7 continents in the service of various world powers, when the apocalypse stuck he was piloting a helicopter gunship that was engaging a rebel pirate ship of the coast of Peurto Rico fufilling a contract, he managed to rise above the breakers of the following Tsunami and head to the nearest refulling point that was still standing after the fall.

He hates to tell others of his past but the one thing he often speaks of is his sighting of one of the worlds most lethal predators, he will then laugh and mutter under his breath, "I looked in a mirror"
Other info: Loyal to few people except those who pay him he has a soft spot somewhere deep down that he nurtures but tells noone of.

WS: 3
BS: 4
S: 5
T: 5
W: 3
I: 3(2)
A: 2
LD: 8
Sv: 4+

Player Name: Ragnar4
Character Name: (Unknown) Fresh Meat is his current moniker. Although he answers to just about any name that includes the word "meat" in it. "meat head, dead meat.. etc."
Char Age: 16
Char appearance: Meat is a smaller, yet wiry boy with dark hair and dark eyes. Several tattoos adorn his body, crudely worked into his skin. Many of the things that he wears have both a functional and drive towards an aesthetic. He wears a heavy chain around his waist as a belt, but it also functions as a handy weapon in a pinch. His hand-cuff bracelets, have been modified to link together to strangle someone, or perhaps slide down a wire. Meat is a very well put-together boy, who managed to escape a lot of scars of the body, yet replaced them with scars of the mind. His eyes bear the weight of a near decade of torment from his "protectors".
Equipment: Heavy gauge chain belt, Modified handcuffs on his wrists, 2 old pieces of rusty sheet steel big enough to cover his torso held together by 2 leather straps that go over his shoulders. a back-pack with rations, ammo, water purifier tables, rope, a dirty mason jar of moonshine alcohol, a few polaroids of a man and woman who are presumably his parents holing him as a baby, or playing with him as a child. (these are his most treasured items in the world)
Backstory: Meats memory starts 2 weeks after he was found by the escaped convicts on death row that escaped from some unknown penitentary located in "California" in the world before the Reapers. How far they had traveled until they met Meat, or how far they traveled afterwards, is unknown. The convicts acted like a gang, who affectionately referred to themselves as "55 Death Dealers" had no remorse for anyone outside of the confines of their clique, and Meat, being an interesting prospect for several reasons was protected by Juanita "Big Mama" Santos for obvious reasons. Not so obvious reasons led to Johnathan "Slide-knife" Chake becoming a mentor, protector to Meat in his formative years in the gang. Slide-knife was a pedohpile with a thing for pretty boys, so slide-knife took the best of care of Meat during the days, and the worst of care of Meat during the night. Finally after 5 years of murder, drugs, being ritually tatooed for his actions within the gang, being raped, running from the horrors of the night, etc. James "Big Gun" Popovich and Slide-knife got into an altercation over Meat like he was a piece of property. In the fight, Big Gun broke Slide-knife's neck. Meat knew what was going on, Big Gun's old woman had fresh bruises and cuts on a nearly weekly basis, and they usually showed up at night. He wasn't about to become Big Gun's property, so he offered some of his home-made shine to Big Gun and after getting him sufficiently sloshed, Meat lashed out with his chain, snapping Big-guns leg in two at the knee, and dodged bullets and thrown knives as he stole off into the night escaping the "55 Death Dealers"... for now.

Most of Meat's tattoos are the prison kind, teardrops for men he's killed, spiderweb on the elbow, two playing card 5's on his chest for his old captors. He abbhores them. He's even gone so far as to scrub one off with sand-paper, but he caught a nasty infection that he barely overcame on his own.
He also has a paralyzing fear of having his head underwater. He was seriously abused a lot using water "treatements"

WS: 3
BS: 3
S: 3
T: 3
W: 3
I: 3
A: 2
LD: 7
Sv: --

Player Name: Evaelc
Character Name: William “Gramps" Graham
Character Age: 45
Character Appearance: Will has been around a while and as such has a receding grey hairline. His face, slightly wrinkled is angular and narrow. Standing at about 5’11” he is of medium build.
Equipment: Steyr rifle with under slung grenade launcher, Backpack with; medical kit, surgeon’s tools, flares, ammo, rations
Backstory: Will was a medical doctor before the so-called apocalypse. Living in New Zealand he was lucky enough to survive, however his grandson was not. With nothing left for him he joined the national army or what was left of it. He was assigned as Medical aid for his company and at first he was laughed at but after several missions and near death experiences of some of his company members he became a valued member thanks to his medical experience. Even in the heat of a gunfight he could keep his cool and help out. Thanks to this he was requested to work for the British however after his flight was high jacked he was lucky to escape from the plane before it crashed. Now he is stranded in the middle of London with next to nothing to survive.

WS: 3
BS: 4
S: 4
T: 4
W: 3
I: 3
A: 2
LD: 8
Sv: --

Map:

Grey areas= Entrances to underground bunker network

Blue areas= Small friendly settlements of humans, but there are more out there that have not been seen. They are dotted everywhere.

Large yellow area around the map= Wasteland

Large Black area= The Scar- Supposedly these cracks in the land were where the Reapers came out of the earth.

Brown areas= Caves

Large purple area= The realm of the crazies- Where the crazies (people who were driven mad by the apocalypse) roam. They have been moving further out recently, and now a few even wander the land.

The Unknown Area= Nobody knows what lies there, but they know that anybody who goes there does not return. But some say they see figures approaching from the area that are not quite human.

Troy= This is the major human settlement in the area. When it was made they said that it's walls would never be breached. They haven't been to this day, except there have been frequent raids by Bandits, which have all been defeated. It is to this reason why it is called Troy.

The Woods= Supposedly there are Reapers in the woods, as screams have been heard sometimes coming from there. Brave people go to the woods to hunt for meat as animals are many in the large area. The woods are very big.

Elysium= This is where people who think very highly of themselves go. They are rich there, and normally can get what they want and live thier lives happily. It conducts many transactions with people who come by, to make more money. Raiders do not bother them as they can always bargain with them. It is called Elysium, because people who go there think of it as heaven compared to everything else. But the people there are said to not be trusted by wise men.

London= A small part of the ruins of London. Bandits made it thier home a long time ago. But, if people are lucky, they can sometimes enter
to salvage supplies and not be noticed. It is a very dangerous place.

**Devastator**

And that London map (if this is going to still take place in London?)

Edit: ninjad. Still updated version below

Player Name: Devastator
Character Name: Bonesaw
Char Age: 25
Char appearance: 1,7m , blond short hair
Equipment:Remington 700 with scope/sling, m9 with belt holster , back pack, combat knife, gas mask, Molotovs.
Backstory: "treasure" seeker with some military training, Bonesaw wanders village to village trading what ever she finds while looting.
Other info : paranoid and slightly insane

**Darkvoidof40k**

Someone with more free time than myself grab the relevent IC posts/events and post 'em somewhere; specifically here.

**Devastator**

Darkvoidof40k wrote:Someone with more free time than myself grab the relevent IC posts/events and post 'em somewhere; specifically here.

Why? Not like that thread will vanish while we are not looking.

Also that copy pasted OP has one error on it, there was two PC deaths.

**Kasrkai**

Got nuthin' but time. Who's posts do I need to get?

Pretty much everyone is in troy, all intro'd, blah blah blah.
Oh, and ghosty made an oral joke.

EDIT: WHO DIED?