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They make us laugh. They make us cringe. Battle reports bring the gaming exploits of your fellow hobbyists to your screens. Reliving the action, they serve as an archive of learning and entertainment.
This is a thread for us to discuss the parts we like and dislike of these writeups/videos. It will serve as a was for us who make them to have a rough guide of the communities tastes to help improve the content and value of these narrative elements.

So I shall open the floor.

Dislike - when reading, or watching a battle report, I dislike proxies. Painted or unpainted. Seeing a proxy in a battle report will usually make me immediately dismiss it.

Like - I like battle reports that strive to get the rules right. I know different interpetations for rules exist, and I appreciate it when a battle report will explain their interpretation rather than assume we know it, especially if its a game changing moment.

Cheers!

Personally, I like reports with pictures vs videos. I think that a good picture does a better job of capturing the cinematic moment and the poster can really describe what is going on

so, here's my view on this:

DO:
- Add a picture/shot of either the beginning or end of each turn, or both. Take these from the same point each time.
- Show close-ups of important combats and other events, taking time to describe them in detail.
- Show narrative shots, such as models eye views, tanks coming over hills, etc.
- Explain what list each player took, accompanied by a single photo/5 seconds of film.
- Clearly state when each turn and phase begins/ends.
- Show everything in a chronological order.

DON'T:
- Show too many close-up shots after one another, especially across turns/phases. This will greatly disorient the viewer/reader.
- Use your phone camera. Have someone bring a decent camera with adjustable light settings and preferably a tripod instead.
- Focus too much on what lists the players took; don't list point totals of each upgrade or show a photo of each individual squad.
- Change perspective too often. Once again, this will disorient the reader/viewer.
- Leave drinks on the table when taking pictures. Dice/rulebooks/templates are acceptable, but coke cans in between battle lines can be disappointing.

But, most importantly:
- Don't worry too much about making the battle report. I'd rather have a battle report with four blurry pictures knowing the players had fun, than a fully-detailed battle report where everyone got annoyed by the game constantly being interrupted for pictures.

DO:
For written reports, explain what mission it is, what deployment type, night fight, terrain, and most importantly: PSYCHIC POWERS. With current deathstars relying entirely on certain psychic powers, we need to know what they got

Don't overload with pics...usually 3 pics per player turn is kind of the max, because you are looking at a minimum of 30 pictures for the battle right there, plus army shots, etc.

For vid reports: No shaky cam...I understand most people use handheld, and movement is totally expected, but quick jumps with the camera and swift movements leave the viewer disoriented.


I don't mind a proxy or two, as I understand that people like to playtest before committing to a purchase. I don't mind unpainted models. But I don't like alot of either. A few is fine and understandable. I have alot of models that are either unpainted or look like crap, so when doing a batrep I don't use them.

But there are also times when I feel that the opponent doesn't quite feel like a game being slowed down, so I don't. I also don't batrep if it is over by turn 3-4. Those aren't battles, and not much can be learned from them imo

I prefer photo battle reports over video reports simply because of the limited distractions such as background noise, 3rd party commentators, ohs, ums, etc..

I have always been a fan of Piers Brand's battle reports. Excellent description of the action, great photos of pivotal moments and overall very concise.

I generally prefer photo vs video battle reports because I can quickly skim over the read on it to see what was going on.

I'd like video reports more if there was a summary after the video (I'm not always in a position to watch the video, but I am curious what happened).

Do - I tend to enjoy video vs picture but with that said 85-90% of ALL video batreps are garbage (no offense). I skim through and find the better ones and I must say the ones that are well made are very enjoyable to watch. Some are also very good for learning the dynamics of the game. The best ones show the dice accually being rolled but all this is jmo.

Dont - Picture batreps are very difficult to get into. For me it has to be the right races fighting each other and even then they are pretty iffy. Also imo, pic batreps seem kind of like the easy way out so to speak as far as batreps go.

DO

1.) As mentioned, put all of the necessary detail in at the front of the game - points, lists, mission, deployment, warlord traits, psychic powers, etc. Do not, however, dwell on these things.

2.) Include talking about die rolls. Not all of them, of course, but if a half dozen bad die rolls completely botch your first shooting phase, and that's important, then make sure you tell us. 40k is a dice game - no point in trying to pass off good or bad rolls as intentionally good or bad decisions by the player.

3.) Include pictures, of course. I disagree that pictures after every turn are necessary, but having at least one wide-angle shot of the table early on will be helpful. Also, include plenty of close-in shots. It's a miniature wargame, not Go. We're here to see nicely painted models/terrain/etc. that tell a story.

4.) Include narrative. Yeah, most people are bad at fiction writing, but battle reports that are nothing but "this was deployed here and then moved there, and then shot at that" are about as entertaining to read as a user manual for a new toaster. Extremely tedious. Extremely dull. Along with pictures, this is a good way to keep everything entertaining.

DO NOT

1.) For the sake of all that's holy, do not include too much detail. We only need to know the relevant die rolls and player decisions. We do not need to know ALL of the decisions. Reading opaque text walls of "Unit A shot at unit B, which was also shot at by unit C" is like reading from a phone book.

I simply do not care about the minutiae of your battle, and I will not read it, so please, stop typing it. If you want to talk tactical breakdown, forge a narrative of relevant information and then give us that. We want to eat cake, not two cups of flour and three raw eggs and a half cup of sugar and some baking powder.

If we want to know more than the particularly influential things, we'll ask you about it.

2.) Do not make video battle reports.

Video battle reports are regular battle reports that take much longer to consume, cause headaches due to poor audio balance, extraneous noise, and often horridly-chosen background music, and cause nausea and vomiting from shaky camera. You also likely have a very annoying tone of voice, and your opponent probably does as well. The only salvation comes from the fact that a lot of places have internet filters that block videos from playing (I've worked at a few places recently that did this).

If you absolutely, positively MUST make a video battle report, than the other rules still apply. If your battle report is nothing more than you droning on about who shot at what, then you're writing a bad battle report. Just using video as a medium will not solve this. Video is a great medium for being entertaining. Be entertaining with it.

3.) Fail to actually post your battle report.

Yes, many of us also maintain blogs and websites, and linking to them in your battle report is all well and good, but if I show up at your thread, and it's nothing but a link to a battle report somewhere else, I'm never going to read it. I come to dakka for instant access to content. If I wanted to follow your blog, I'd follow your blog.

More strangely, some people like to post their battle report over several days and several posts (sometimes spread out over several pages). When I click on the battle report, I want to see the battle report. I don't want to see a posting of the lists with a "who will win?" and then scroll down over a bunch of comments. Worse is when I finally get to the content and it's just the first turn, and then I have to do MORE scrolling.

Also, don't put everything into its own spoiler tag. The pictures still load whether it's in a spoiler tag or not, and you're forcing me to do a bunch of obnoxious clicking to get to my content. If you must use a spoiler tag, but everything into just one tag.

CONCLUSION

A battle report is you telling a story of how a game went (or telling a story based on how a game went). What you produce should be a story. If it's a technical breakdown of a game filled with technical detail and bereft of narrative, then you're producing something that not too many other people are really going to want to read.

Even if the game happened to be for some tournament.

If you absolutely must make a video use oncebitten360 format where he simply talks you through a bunch of stills of the game. I don't need to see you bantering with your friends and watch you in the act of rolling 100x dice and picking out the 1's.

Also the 'post lists then wait for input before actually putting up the report' thing that people do is the fastest way for me to lose interest.

NO CONSENSUS!!!

HA! HA!

Like: painted models and terrain

Dislike: unpainted models and terrain


Well that was easy

Don't:
Provide editorial commentary on the state of armies/game/companies. Keep your opinions to your personal blog.

DON"T: - If you really want it to look sharp in your photos, try to eliminate peripheral clutter like chairs and people beyond the table edge or crap on the table like books, coke cans, tape measures and dice. I Photo Shop out stuff beyond the table edge and generally badger people to keep stuff off the table that are not models or terrain. The art, the art...
- Also, don't overload your photo host site as they will delete your pictures on old reports which renders the reports trash.

Do: My narratives are more like news reports. I don't go into point values or army lists, but I'm more into the visuals than the minutia.

MarsNZ wrote:I don't need to see you bantering with your friends and watch you in the act of rolling 100x dice and picking out the 1's.

Especially if you're the one holding the camera.

I get motion sick every time someone picks up the dice with one hand, and resultingly shakes the camera with the other, and then rolls the dice with one hand, and resultingly shakes the camera with the other, and then quickly leans in to get a blurry look at their dice while I vomit on the screen after the zoom wipe.

MarsNZ wrote:Also the 'post lists then wait for input before actually putting up the report' thing that people do is the fastest way for me to lose interest.

Oh, right. I can't believe I forgot that. I'm going to change my post.

Post your battle reports, people.

Also, I also forgot: spoiler tags. Don't break up your battle report into a million spoiler tags like a bunch of individually-wrapped oreos. My patience ends after being forced to click on circa one extra thing.

A single tag to put everything into, fine, but all the little ones? Just don't do it.

DO: what jy2 does.

/thread.

 ImotekhTheStormlord wrote:
DO: what jy2 does.

/thread.

Winner!

Wow. All these are great! Ill compile them into the first post. A couple more that I have.

Do - good lighting.

Don't - blurry pictures.

Seems like most of you guys covered the bases so I'll add a more personal one of my own.

Don't: Show off your body to camera, we're here to see a battle report not a self-cam. And please, for the love of Gork don't show us your hairy nips, if it's a hot day do it another time when you're not all stank and sweat.

I'll think about this more and reply again but by far the largest issue I have with video reports is when they get the rules wrong. Forgetting obscure rules, new rules from a new codex, and the likes are understandable mistakes and oversights but blatantly playing a rule incorrectly across multiple battle reports with the same people playing the same armies is annoying. There's 1 video battle report series that constantly gets some rules with Orks wrong and it's a consistent player using the army that just isn't learning or even acknowledging the comments. I enjoyed every video cast of Skari's 20 Coven DE games he chronicled; however, if the rules were wrong consistently, I would have stopped watching.

So for Videos....DON"T neglect the rules and commenters who call you out on the rules. Learn and show that you've learned.

For Written Reports - Acknowledge when you are testing something out both in the introduction and in any decisions involving the test. Case in point, I wanted to try out how good a Necron Spyderstar was and made the knowingly unwise decision to assault a Deathwing Knights unit. If you don't acknowledge your rationale or intent, it becomes more of a distraction than anything beneficial.

DO:
- Decide what's important to your batrep, and do that well. Narrative, casual gaming? Painted minis, cool shots, etc. Competitive gaming? Make sure you cover decisions, show everything that happened and how, and keep rules mistakes to an absolute minimum.

DON'T:
- Get carried away with off topic rambling.
- Post failures. Recently I saw a video batrep where the game ended on turn 3 because one of the guys had to go home. Why even post that?

 Grimskul wrote:
Seems like most of you guys covered the bases so I'll add a more personal one of my own.

Don't: Show off your body to camera, we're here to see a battle report not a self-cam. And please, for the love of Gork don't show us your hairy nips, if it's a hot day do it another time when you're not all stank and sweat.

Oh god now the image is in my head.

This is definitely a huge don't.

I want to re-uterate the Don't of petty whinin on camera or in a post, the game is what it is.

Here is a done don't I think are worthy...

Do - leave comments on battle reports, even if it is just to tell folks you appreciate the time they put into making the report. The reports generally always take time and effort to make and a simple thank you is often the only reward a battle report maker will get.

Don't - be a whiny git on this thread if you have never in any way, shape or form contributed to a battle report. If you have constructive criticism by all means post, but if not just go your merry way.

Do: If you are both willing and able, make it a narrative in-character battle report. A good in character battle report is a rare and beautiful thing, with examples like Ailaros' men of Folera being something the fanbase should treasure.

Don't: If you can't actually write well, please do not make an in-character battle report. Not everyone is Ailaros. I already have to beta-read crap tons of bad fanfiction and drafts from friends whose creative ambitions vastly outstrip their talent. Don't make me suffer more than I have to.

 ImotekhTheStormlord wrote:
DO: what jy2 does.

/thread.

who's jy2?

If you do a video batrep, keep it short, you're not peter jackson after all.

 ImotekhTheStormlord wrote:
DO: what jy2 does.

/thread.

And Arbitorian/Panic. They're my favourite [unfortunately they seem to have really slowed down with the batreps]. They use cool tokens, brilliantly converted and painted models, and, more importantly, play narrative games. jy2's reports are really well put together and I've read them all and really appreciate his contribution, but there's limited enjoyment to seeing min-maxed lists going at each other [often with lots of proxies for the latest flavour of the month unit].

Dont's - I never watch video batreps.

Another good one

Don't - forced banter on a video batrep (like on miniwargaming ones)... Like both players just look akward chatting.

do - post game analysis

don't - drink too much

I hate the ones where they suck at story telling. If you can't write fluff just give me step by step of what happened.

Wow ailaros really gaks on half the battle reports on here concerning video or not

On topic; I like - fully, well painted armies and terrain. Knowledge of the rules is also a must. I personally enjoy pictures more than video but don't turn it into some narrative shlock, I want to hear about the game not fanfiction. If doing video please have a a post game summary/discussion of the game

Dislikes - unpainted models and lack of rules knowledge. Please don't showcase how poor you are at the hobby. Narrative; I don't want to hear a story I want to hear a report of th battle