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Talking about gaming, in this instance on the tabletop but for the purpose this discussion let's extend it to any gaming experience you may have had.

Mine, goes back to a game I had in my local store. It was a 2v2 game, myself playing dark eldar, allied with my buddies tau. We were having a friendly game against a couple of local kids. One played chaos marines and I think the other was Orks (Orcs? Screw it, green skins).

Being fairly new to the game, I was focusing more on what I was doing than my opponent. I'd flanked my Archon and Incubi bodyguard round the left flank, prepping to assault some big guns one of these kids had hid near cover. Most of what he had round there was obscured from model-waist down from my own personal eye line, though I could see what models he had where.

He didn't have that Chaos Terminator Lord there a minute ago.

You cheating little feth.

Turns out his model wasn't attached to its Base, so in each movement phase he'd shift the Base 6", and do nothing else with it at all. He looked so smug when he revealed his "genuinely invisible" HQ choice at full wounds value, totally unscathed, just after I'd rounded the corner in my preceding turn. He literally just replaced the Base with the model. This guy had slight of hand. Not quite level 10, but still, a good 6 for sure.

He moves closer to my precious Archon and entourage. He runs towards them. He's not there. He fails the charge.

Guess what sunny Jim! My turn! And you're right where I want you!

He went from cheating, smug, Chaos scum, to a collection of dismembered body parts that I now use as a unique collection of floral vases, in the space of a single assault. Metaphorically speaking of course.

I don't play many games, time doesn't really allow for it, though this is a highlight from one of the few that I think will always stay with me. I can't stand smarmy, smug little tosspots and that little turn was utterly blissful!

What of you? Any similarly glorious "up yours" moments or am I the only one to enjoy emerging victorious over scheming barely-teenagers?

Sounds fun.

When I encounter stuff like that, I politely explain the situation and leave the game. It seems to piss them off even more. The more polite/simple/quick the better it works.

Played a 2v2, "Renegade" Guard and Daemons vs. Ad Mech and Grey Knights.

The Grey Knights player is nice, but known for being TFG. I proceed to lock both his Dreadknights in assault and just murder him, while the Guard player just shells the crap out of his Grey Knights.

The Ad Mech was relatively undamaged, but couldn't do more than walk up the board. I was eventually killed off, but we were so far ahead in points and victory it didn't matter. The Guard player continued to shell them and killed the Ad Mech.

Needless to say, the Grey Knights player was pretty mad and it was hilarious.

One the worst douchebaggy GK players who would always abuse the ever living gak out of Warp Quake vs. Daemons back in 5th...

He'd just spent an entire week gloating about how useless and laughably unplayable the new upcoming Daemons codex was going to be, so to shut him up, I arranged for a 'friendly' game against him come release day.

He'd brought roughly from memory;
- Bro Captain Stern
- Crowe
- 4x min/maxed Purifyers in Razorbacks
- 3x Psyflemen Dreads
- 2x min Interceptors for Quake-shunting shenanigans

First off, he laughed at how I had to roll up my Gifts for my LoC + Tzheralds, claiming that feature alone would make my army so uncompetitive, that I should simply go and buy a "proper army" instead...
Suddenly his face fell when I informed him what Corpulescence (+1W & IWnD) and Dark Blessing (re-roll failed invulns) did, while he then tried to accuse me of cheating when I automatically defaulted my Lesser Gift roll to the Boomstick.
He then tried to call me a cheater when I rolled all 3 of my LoC's powers on Divination, as he said I had to roll 1 power on the Tzeentch table... I simply showed him in my shiny new codex that Daemons did not in fact get saddled with the atrociously bad CSM spell generation rules, and my Chicken Mage ended up landing Precognition as one of his spells!

He was second of all, quite miffed when it turned out that Daemons no longer had to Deep Strike into play, which led to him whining for a good 5min or so about how the new Daemons had just unfairly broken one of the GK's "most basic defenses" which by his claims "they needed to even compete against Daemons".

As we began our game, he was getting annoyed by just how many 1's I was rolling for my saves, and then complained that it was unfair how Tzeentch daemons could re-roll them.
By my first turn, I opened up with my first volley of Exalted Locus-boosted Flickering Fire, and my opponent nearly flipped his lid, claiming that S6 shooting from basic Troops was OP as hell! Despite the fact he stopped a couple of them, being GK's and all (and dispelling most of my powers on a 5+ instead of just 6's), I still managed to slag a couple Razorbacks, and slag 4 Interceptors who'd gotten too close.
The best moment came when he failed his Warpflame test and the last member up and exploded! (which he of course claimed was just more "Daemon cheese")

He kept simply shoving his stuff forwards and expecting the easy win that GK's had so readily enjoyed before when their book was literally designed to poop all over anything Daemons could do.

By the time I got my LoC into combat, he became completely enraged, as with Precog up, my Greater suddenly had re-rolls to hit + wound + saves, with a handful of S8/ap attacks!
He up and rage quit after turn 3, when all he had left was Stern (whom I was avoiding like the damn plague!), a single Psyfleman Dread, and a handful of Purifyers who'd yet be golfed across the battlefield by my rampaging LoC.



A half hour or so later, the only topic around the store was this dumb going on and on about how OP and game breaking Daemons under their new codex were, and that they had become purely auto-win vs. everyone, especially the now woefully underpowered GK's!

I'll admit I enjoyed that game a little too much, and really laid the smugness on the stupid gakker, but then, this was the guy who'd proudly reduced a freaking twelve year old to tears by Quake-shunting the entire table, and then juggled the poor kid's auto-misshaping army into oblivion...
So I figured he really deserved it in the end.

When I played my brother when we were younger, I didn't know the rules all too well and would spend all game trying to take out his land raiders, (he told me that it was the best unit and I had to kill it) but never managed to kill one as I had no idea what I was doing.

Fast forward to a year ago, we do a 2,500 point game. Eldrad lets me scout my D-cannons forward, alongside a wave serpent with d-scythe guard. Popped both land raiders turn 1, and wound up doing over 1,000 points of damage that turn. He forfeited shortly after.

Felt good, but I had no idea they would be that powerful. I've not used then since as they were too devastating, but finally taking those raiders out made me a happy man!

Just over a year ago now I had a game with 'THAT' opponent.... A friendly 40K game, 2000 points.

He turns up with a full 5 L2 libby conclave, triple threat Vindicator linebreaker, three/four full Tac squads in Rhino's, two full Legion of the Damned squads, a homebrewed Legion character that could bring casualties back as Legion members, a 5 man Missile dev squad, a 10 man sniper scout squad, a Vindicaire assassin, two 5 man assault squads and a Razorback containing his HQ, which he is gloating about being really powerful and something I will hate.
By now, anyone with even a basic knowledge of the SM codex (which at the time I sadly lacked) will have realised that he was waayyyy over the points limit, but it gets better....

On turn two my Laser Destroyer pops his Razoorback and out comes [insert drumroll here] the Primarch Vulkan with a five man honour guard.
As I scrape my jaw off the floor he relishes in my shocked look and tells me I am finished. His Triple Vindicator linebreaker is invisible so I cannot pop it and has already wiped out one infantry section and half of another, both his LotD squads are in and closing fast and he is gloating about how screwed I am.
Everything looks hopeless for me.

My first Battlecannon shot smacks into his libby conclave and wipes out half of them, the second claims a fourth and Heavy Bolter fire kills the final one, my Eradicator concentrates on the Scouts (basically the only things it can hurt) and inflicts heavy casualties and my half veteran section is sent forth as a speedbump to slow down the primarch who is now barrelling towards my poor, valiant but doomed Laser Destroyer.

Amazingly, I win. The first LotD squad with the homebrew is wiped by shooting after a veteran section holds it off for a turn and the homebrew later eats AC fire from my Exterminators. Now denied their Invisibility shield the Vindicators are flanked and shredded by my Exterminators and Melta Vets who then take out the remnants of one of the Tac squads which had taken a Battlecannon hit. The plastac squad failed to take out the three survivors of another vet section, despite shooting them repeatedly and the surviving three ended up wiping out the Assault squad on their own.

The final kickers where the Primarch getting held up by five veterans and the other LotD squad charging my command section.... Only to get wiped out in a bloody three turn combat.

In the end I won by a stupid amount and my opponent was extremely pissed, complaining about how things like Imperial Guard tanks where stupidly OP, etc.
I then learnt, thanks to you guys, that he was cheating anyway, making that victory all the sweeter Thanks Dakka

Mine was actually my friend's moment against me. We had just started warhammer 40k and I was playing tau, he was orks.

It was a 1250 pt game. (We had gotten lucky and someone we knew pretty well sold us 3 decent sized armies for cheap so we started big)

I had 10 firewarriors and I kind of spread them out oddly. He charged with 30 boys, and during pile in he was able to surround me and get all 30 in attack range.

He started to open two dice boxes for the 120 attacks he was gonna make and I just scooped the entire unit off the board. I told him no need to roll the dice, dead is dead.

I won the match but those firewarriors... they never had a chance... And I was never quite so cocky up against a squad of 30 boys

Edit- for spelling

Friend brought Mortarion to a game. Held him in combat until the game ended with an Eternal warrior High Marshal with Storm shield.

Anyone remember that in 3rd ed- the vehicle damage table had a 'vehicle annihilated' result for ordnance on a 6? Inevitably, you'd hit a landraider full of terminators with a basilisk/demolisher and roll 2 sixes in a row. 500 points in one shot.

There was the time the conscripts killed Typhus.

The coolest was Templars v Lost and the damned.
A crusader squad took heavy casualties on the way in until all that was left was a single brother with powerfist and a neophyte. The two proceeded to smash their way through chaos marines and heretics alike- the neophyte would take out whoever was fighting the brother with fist, allowing him to smash up the rest of the unit.

The funniest was Templars V CSM 3.5.
I had a friend who loved to cheese that out, pouring upgrades onto his units until they were nigh unstoppable in combat.
One game I asked him what all the units were and he got really annoyed. The CSM units would change from game to game you see, one day they'd have the MoK and the next they'd all have infiltrate veteran skills. One time the sword was a dark blade, the next a power weapon.

We talked about it and found that a bolt pistol was a plasmapistol, the glowing green sword was a ccw and his possessed had more upgrades than was legal.

He didn't want to change and I didn't want to go home without a game. So I agreed.
Turn 2- his plasmapistol exploded, killing the aspiring champion. The rest of the squads shooting casued one casualty, my Templar unit with Marshall and Chaplain and Champion ran forward- not quite enough for him to charge me, but I was definitely charging him next turn. His possessed were waiting in the wings though, ready for a murderous, Init 5 5x s5 attacks each, rending blah blah blah (furious) countercharge.

My turn- I rolled up as rhino filled with basic bolter marines. They got out and lit up the possessed- all of them dropped.
He hadn't thought to add any toughness upgrades to his combat monsters.

He conceded like a chump right before my characters charged.

Me and my friend were going to have a game with our fledgling armies, Orks and Dark Eldar.

But first, back story.

We were having a friendly game of guard against space wolves. I had the upper hand and was likely to win, my TWC had just charged his 20 man guard squad and I decided not to sweeping advance to give him a chance. Bad idea. He had Yarrick in a Valkyrie drop in my backfield, and he chopped up my brothers guard squad. (We were going to have a commissar duel) Of course, they lost combat. He sweeping advanced.

NOOOOOOOO!

I thought we were going to have a rule of cool fight to the death, but I was wrong. Ended up actually losing that game because I didn't sweeping advance that 20 man squad.

Fast forward to our game of DE vs Orks. My archon had webway portal, parasites kiss, armour of misery. I deepstriked right next to his warboss, the look on his face when I told him the kiss' rules was priceless. He lot his warboss turn 2, poor guy.

Mine was against my SW playing friend

Now I just want to preface this by saying that my friend is a great guy, it's just that whenever I play his SW I go into the battle knowing that I'm probably going to lose. Badly. My friend has a great deal of experience with his Wolves, and he knows just how to beat my usual army (Guard)

So, one day we're both competing in a tournament, and I'm drawn to go against my friend. He was bringing an alpha-strike drop pod list against my mech vets list, and I fully expected to get creamed the first turn (his drop pod units typically have either meltas or flamers), but none were more surprised than me when his alpha strike whiffed so badly that I didn't lose a single model/hullpoint to any of his attacks! My Russes/Chimeras proceed to utterly smash his units, and I won the game at the bottom of turn 2, with my friend having 1 Long Fang and 1 Grey Hunter left on the table.

Went to washington with a very compact Nurgle CSM/Daemons army on a regular business trip. (We are talking like 25-30 models that could fit in my luggage easily, plague marines, GUO, etc around 1500 points.)

Decide to stop by ye'old local game store to grab a game. Start chatting it up and mention I play sisters as well. This neckbeard strolls up, starts talking strategy, cool beans man. I mention I'd been playing sisters a while and found them middle of the road competitively, better than my csm force I had with me in fact. Oh geeeeez this guy starts telling ME how the sisters work, which he has none of nor had really played against. Correcting me at every comment from then on when I tried to explain that yes, sisters do play well and all of his data was three editions old. (He kept referencing stuff from 4th ed witch hunters ffs.)

Finally, I ask if he wanted to catch a game, he says sure, he has a couple armies and he'd be right back. Enter neckbeard 10 minutes later with a specifically tooled Gray Knights force, all kitted out to just crush my force of Nurgle CSM/Daemons. The guy knows I'm playing a list due to me travelling, he still brings a tailor built list lol.

Fine, roll up my ML3 GUO, promptly get endurance and iron arm. :-D

Lets just say the GUO ate some terminators that day....guy even quit early and stormed off.

Back in 5th, I was grabbing a 2000 point game against a local Tau player where I was living. He, for whatever reason was deathly afraid of my Nurgle Bikers (seriously, all it is, is 5 bikes with MoN), pumping every single one of his marker lights into them.

What that did, was allowed my Defiler to waddle across the board, charge the literal rear armor of his transport (which, many may recall, only had 1 entry point). I roll really poorly on the turn I charged, and end my turn.

On his turn, he generally sits still, deciding it's better to put all of his marker lights into my 4 bikers (he did manage to take one out), goes through his shooting phase and then goes, "OK, your turn" and I go, "hey man, we have a combat to resolve first."

He responds back with, "vehicles aren't locked in combat," to which I replied with, "true, but we're still base to base, ergo, my defiler has his attacks." The Tau player looks over at the resident TFG and rules lawyer (It wasn't so much that he was actually TFG, it's just that the way his rules lawyering came off gave him the perception of being TFG), who looks up from his game and says, "yeah dude, he's right. He gets his attacks because you didn't move."

I roll my dice, and promptly destroy the vehicle and unit inside due to inability to disembark



Another one, which happened much more recently, happened in a 2v2 game. A buddy of mine and I were both running our armored guard lists at 2k each, facing two eldar players bringing a combined 2 WKs, and like 4 flyers.

Our turn 1, his Wyverns wipe 300+ points of Dark Reapers off the board, roll to reveal our objectives. All the ones he was sitting on with Vet squads with autocannons, got sky fire

By the end of turn 3, the only thing left on the board were the two WKs (one came in from reserve, and the other was shooty, so sat back like a punk, vaporizing 2 Leman Russes per turn). That game was filled with these moments, because while we wiped out the Reapers, the one Eldar player was seriously rolling box cars for damage on his D-guns, 3 turns in a row.

 Ensis Ferrae wrote:

What that did, was allowed my Defiler to waddle across the board, charge the literal rear armor of his transport (which, many may recall, only had 1 entry point).

Uh, since when? I remember the devilfish having side hatches as well as a rear door. I just double-checked my 4th edition codex to make sure and it does indeed say the side hatches and rear door are all access points and you need to be within 2" of one of them to embark/disembark.

 Ensis Ferrae wrote:
I roll my dice, and promptly destroy the vehicle and unit inside due to inability to disembark

Then you cheated him, as the squad could have disembarked the vehicle from one of the side hatches easily. Not a very good "Gotcha!" moment, tbh.

Now, I'm willing to hear someone explain how I might be wrong on this, but I don't recall anything in the 5th edition book overriding what was written in the Tau codex, so as far as I know the side hatches were still valid access points.

I was playing a 2v2 game with a friend against two other people at our local GW. We were both playing CSM, they were playing SM and guard. It is important to note that we were busy unpacking our armies and we hadn't unpacked any of the 3 daemon princes we had between us.
As both of us knew next to nothing about guard, we ask about one of the tanks the guard player put on the table. He starts explaining the tanks rules, which was apparently a Wyvern. He puts into detail how many blasts the mortar shoots each turn and what the strength of the gun is.
Me and my friend go ok that's cool and continue unpacking our army.

Around comes their turn 1, our daemon princes are up in the air. Guard player announces that his Hydra is going to shoot at our daemon prince. We say sure and ask him to point out which tank it is and what it does because we like to learn that gak. Lo and behold, the guy points right towards the tank we had asked about.
I told him we explicitly asked what that tank was and he had said it was a Wyvern not 5 minutes ago. The guy obviously denies all of this and his buddy even jumps in to defend him by pulling a box from the shelf to show us the model was indeed that of a Hydra.
Me and my friend, not fancying a gakky discussion, went along with it. Even with their bait-n-switch, our Daemon princes absolutely demolished their army. They easily took out a third of their army.

Edit:
On second thought, my favorite moment was the time a guy berated me for my painting skills despite explaining him I am colourblind. The "stick that in your pipe and smoke it" moment was the followup where he picked up one of my models (without knowing it was my model) at a later date and asking who painted it because it was such a cool paint job. I still get happy when I think of that moment.
Full story about him being a dick: http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/638809.page#7648004
The follow up: http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/650279.page#7865235

 Sidstyler wrote:

 Ensis Ferrae wrote:

What that did, was allowed my Defiler to waddle across the board, charge the literal rear armor of his transport (which, many may recall, only had 1 entry point).

Uh, since when? I remember the devilfish having side hatches as well as a rear door. I just double-checked my 4th edition codex to make sure and it does indeed say the side hatches and rear door are all access points and you need to be within 2" of one of them to embark/disembark.

 Ensis Ferrae wrote:
I roll my dice, and promptly destroy the vehicle and unit inside due to inability to disembark

Then you cheated him, as the squad could have disembarked the vehicle from one of the side hatches easily. Not a very good "Gotcha!" moment, tbh.

Now, I'm willing to hear someone explain how I might be wrong on this, but I don't recall anything in the 5th edition book overriding what was written in the Tau codex, so as far as I know the side hatches were still valid access points.

I have never played Tau, never owned their book... this was what my opponent claimed, and at that point in the game, it was honestly better to just roll with it than to question it.

There are 3 or 4 people at my LGS I avoid playing for different reasons. They all generally play power lists, some are TFG, others are poor sports, but I don't like games with them in any event.

I had an infernal tetrad list that I really wanted to try out, and I had been waiting around for a good hour. the only other dude to show up also had an infernal tetrad list. We didn't want to play against the exact same thing. Eventually 2 more dudes showed up. 1 was tyranids, and the other player faced him (all sport pods, I really don't like the whole "everything is shrouded with twin linked devouerers meta nids do) and the other CSM. I ended up CSM, against one of the dudes I don't really seek out games against.

So he pretty much had psychic shriek spam with cypher, I think 3 DPs, KoS and Ariham, tons and tons of Shriek. I had Tetrad and Tallyband for an incursion. My dice were very hot that game. It wasn't a tabling or anything, but I was able to shut down every spell, and with the tallyband, grab tons of objectives while my tetrad went around dealing with his daemon princes and whatnot.

The game was called on turn 3. We played until 5, I still won.

It was nice to play a competitive player, as a non competitive player, and have the toss in the towel so early. It has never happened to me before.

Visited a game store back in late 5th ed in my old home town, because they had their weekly 40k day and I was bored. Brought my simple 5th ed ork list featuring my favorite character, Zogwart (rip).

There was only one dude waiting for a game, and 5 seconds in it was clear why: he had a competitive grey knight draigostar list with the standard "mighty morphin' power weapons" that magically turned into flamers as soon as I pulled out orks.

Two turns into the game, this guy was clearly the sort who could not bear to lose a single model in a game. He bent or broke pretty much every rule in existence, cheated on dice rolls, claimed perfectly flat good rolls I got were "cocked" and demanded rerolls, did the quickscoop "yep all hit" thing... I was continuing the game for the same reason you can't look away from a trainwreck.

As one last show of defiance, I decided to basically suicide Zogwart just to get one shot off at the curse. We roll off, I get a six, he gets a one. I hand him a bomb squig.

"wait, that's cocked."

"No it isn't, it's completely flat. That is a six."

"Ok so I get my invulnerable save."

*I show him the codex again*

"It says right here that you have to supply me with a SQUIG, this is a bomb squig. By wysiwyg, the power doesn't go off."

This little outburst was heard by most of the people around us, and the matchup started to get some attention (mostly because I had been playing against two pairs of dreadknight pants, unpainted).

The guy made a big scene, refusing to take the model and declaring that unless I had a regular squig, the power wasn't valid. Then the store owner came over, and apparently he had cracked open a blister of fantasy squig herders (who have regular, non-bomb squigs) and he handed me one to resolve the dispute.

Still to this day my favorite, and thankfully one of my very few, TFG stories, and I still have a little squig painted up in metallic colors with Draigo's little emblem on his back.

the_scotsman wrote:
and I still have a little squig painted up in metallic colors with Draigo's little emblem on his back.

Awesome!

In the first (and only) competitive 40k AdeptiCon tournament I played in, I had a game against a daemon player that magically rolled up all of the best psychic powers and gifts while I was setting up my army.

Whatever.

The look on his face when I grounded his warlord flying daemon prince with autocannons, and promptly shot him to death with bolters, scoring me slay the warlord and a tie...priceless.

The guy was a dick the whole game. I only play 500 point kill team or HH events, now. Much less "serious business" and more "Let's make pew, pew noises".

Not actually my game, but relevant.

About a year and a half ago, show up to play a game with my buddy. He bails on me, whatever. Guy I kinda know asks if I want to play this new guy, I say sure.

We agree on points, he asks what fliers I have (red flag) and I say a Nephilim Jetfighter and Quad Gun. I ran a pretty weak Dark Angels list, since I had only played for about 3 months. He proceeds to build a list (another red flag) and we set up.

He has all unpainted models (so he can switch Chapter Tactics each match), bragged about how he had to move stores since he kept beating everyone and no one wanted to play him (BIG red flag), and then pulled out Scouts in 3 Speeder Storms, Chapter Master with all the relics and Command Squad, 3 Storm Talons, and 2 Storm Ravens. Guess what? Proceeds to kick my ass and I concede on Turn 3.

Guy disappears for months, much to my appreciation. Fast forward to two months ago, I'm playing with another buddy and TFG shows up. Tries to take my table, but I tell him I have it signed out and he has to get another. He goes to play another guy I've never seen before.

Fast forward an hour into my game, I look over and TFG has the same list out again, only this time he's getting absolutely demolished by 3 Eldar fliers, 2 Wraithknights, and a bunch of Scatter Bikes. Needless to say, I took some serious joy in watching some random guy destroy him.

This doesn't involve cheating or TFG stuff but it was a moment where I really schooled someone about predators not sucking anymore. My buddy was playing eldar and he was charging his wraithknight up the middle of the table. I told him his WK was goign to die easily this turn and he laughed "haha yah right bro".

Tiguris used his warlord trait on my unit of 3 dakka preds and put 8 rending and 4 regular wounds on the WK with that sweet monster hunter. He failed lots of saves and the WK went down. His face was priceless. Then I said put that in your pipe and smoke it . LOL

the_scotsman wrote:
Visited a game store back in late 5th ed in my old home town, because they had their weekly 40k day and I was bored. Brought my simple 5th ed ork list featuring my favorite character, Zogwart (rip).

There was only one dude waiting for a game, and 5 seconds in it was clear why: he had a competitive grey knight draigostar list with the standard "mighty morphin' power weapons" that magically turned into flamers as soon as I pulled out orks.

Two turns into the game, this guy was clearly the sort who could not bear to lose a single model in a game. He bent or broke pretty much every rule in existence, cheated on dice rolls, claimed perfectly flat good rolls I got were "cocked" and demanded rerolls, did the quickscoop "yep all hit" thing... I was continuing the game for the same reason you can't look away from a trainwreck.

As one last show of defiance, I decided to basically suicide Zogwart just to get one shot off at the curse. We roll off, I get a six, he gets a one. I hand him a bomb squig.

"wait, that's cocked."

"No it isn't, it's completely flat. That is a six."

"Ok so I get my invulnerable save."

*I show him the codex again*

"It says right here that you have to supply me with a SQUIG, this is a bomb squig. By wysiwyg, the power doesn't go off."

This little outburst was heard by most of the people around us, and the matchup started to get some attention (mostly because I had been playing against two pairs of dreadknight pants, unpainted).

The guy made a big scene, refusing to take the model and declaring that unless I had a regular squig, the power wasn't valid. Then the store owner came over, and apparently he had cracked open a blister of fantasy squig herders (who have regular, non-bomb squigs) and he handed me one to resolve the dispute.

Still to this day my favorite, and thankfully one of my very few, TFG stories, and I still have a little squig painted up in metallic colors with Draigo's little emblem on his back.

Have an exalt for that

I absolutely love these stories

This guy had kept bragging his list would win against any list. Had beaten my friend so many times he was close to quitting.

Friend and I go round to his house for a game. First game against MC Bragger was my friend, friend got tabled around T5.

My turn, beat him 7-2 on VP and casually pointed out that it was a Crushing Victory. Even after he had cheated in the game (Outflanked a Stormtalon using Infiltrate Warlord Trait) but I let it slide.

Friend and I were laughing a fair bit on the way back and my mate confided in me that I had given him a morale boost/kept him playing 40k.

He still brings tough lists and has pre-game trash talk but he's toned down his attitude a lot since our game.

I may have posted this some other place already, but whatever.
So I'm at my local GW store, and they're running a 40k tourney at 1,000 points.
I had a very gimmicky guard list, 2 basilisks, an ADL, a command squad, one eradicator, two squads of veterans, one in a chimera with the heavy flamer turret. Something like that, I can't remember the details.
He has three broadsides with HYMPs, yay, a hammerhead, a couple fire warrior units, some pathfinders, a fireblade and an ethereal (which he said at the beginning was his warlord).
Now it just so happens that I play more tau than I do guard (crisis suits are the s@%&) and I know all about the extra VP I get for killing the ethereal. and he's a unit and the warlord. 3 VPs in one model without a save.
For my warlord trait, I roll the outflank D3 units, and outflank the vets in the flame chimera. Turn 2, I rock up from the board edge and kill the ethereal. I say "4-0 to me then."
He denies this and asks me to explain what on earth I mean. I tell him one for first blood, one for the HQ unit, one for warlord, one for killing an ethereal.
He proceeds to deny that the rule exists regarding ethereals. A ten minute argument ensues, and eventually I ask him to hand over his codex (I didn't have mine on me) and I show him the rule. He grudgingly concedes that yes, I do get an extra VP for the kill.
But oh no, that guy is not losing 4 VPs for one model, he proceeds to claim that the fireblade is his warlord. I say, "No, you told me it was the ethereal."
He then turns to one of the other guys, and asks him what he used as a warlord in their last game. The guy shrugs, and says he thinks it was the fireblade. So he turns back to me and says, "See, I always use the fireblade as warlord."
By this point I was tired of the argument so I just let it slide and take my 3 VPs.
I won that game pretty convincingly, and it was in no small part thanks to killing that one model.
That's my "stick that in your pipe and smoke it" moment.

Here's a good one, not one of mine but a favourite tale that I heard in my FLGS.

The store had a stand in staffer to cover the manager while he was on leave. Got to talking about the fantasy flight RPG's; something I'm interested in though haven't progressed in anyway.

So the GM had come up with this gruelling campaign in which the imperials were facing off against chaos. I think they'd already battered their way through hordes of whatever, and were looking pretty beat up. The boss fight was these guys up against a pretty hefty chaos Lord in Terminator armour.

So this Scout takes one look at the Lord, checks his stat line, his skill sets, and special rules, and says to the group "feth it, I'm gonna toss him like a caber". Up strolls the scout, grabs this Lord by the ankles, rolls the relevant dice, and BOOM! The meaty chaos Lord with all the bells and whistles in launched kilometres, and is wounded according to fall damage.

I don't know the technicalities, though there's something to do with taking the distance fallen, multiplied by your overall weight, that gives you your number of wounds suffered. Suffice to say the GM was pretty gutted that the Lord he spent an age coming up with to be an absolute beat stick literally fell to the strength on the imperials in such a spectacular fashion!

The Edition: 5th.

The Armies: Vanilla Space Marines and Sisters of Battle.

The Time: Late August, 2011.

The Backstory: For months, I'd suffered defeat after defeat as I poured all my firepower into a large unit of Honor Guard, only to have them march, on foot, across the table and butcher unit after unit in melee. Those of you familiar with the Sororitas may note something a bit familiar about the month and year. Oh yes, yes, it was the time when the White Dwarf Codex was juuuuuust getting its second part to make it playable. I'd been giggling to my mom for days about how my upcoming Battle Conclave was going to put a messy end to her Honor Guard. She dismissed it as me over-reacting to a unit that probably wouldn't do much of anything. Finally the second part of the Codex hit the shelves, I grabbed a copy, proxied some Ork Boyz as Death-Cult Assassins and Crusaders, and it was time for payback.

The Story: My mom marched her Honor Guard, Chapter Master and a Tactical Squad half-way across the field and sat on an objective. I moved up my Uriah-bomb and a nice unit of Repentia and managed to get the charge into a nice, big mutli-unit combat. The Honor Guard were butchered by Death-Cult Assassins in one round without getting to return a single attack. The Tactical Squad laid some wounds on the Repentia, whose survivors wiped out every member. The Chapter Master took 17 No Retreat wounds and died. It was glorious, and oh-so-sweet. Though frankly I was actually a bit stunned by how brutal the slaughter was. Just like, whoa.

And now every time I field a Battle Conclave, my mom dedicates every last ranged weapon in line of sight to wiping it out as quickly as possible.

 kitch102 wrote:

So this Scout takes one look at the Lord, checks his stat line, his skill sets, and special rules, and says to the group "feth it, I'm gonna toss him like a caber". Up strolls the scout, grabs this Lord by the ankles, rolls the relevant dice, and BOOM! The meaty chaos Lord with all the bells and whistles in launched kilometres, and is wounded according to fall damage.

I don't know the technicalities, though there's something to do with taking the distance fallen, multiplied by your overall weight, that gives you your number of wounds suffered. Suffice to say the GM was pretty gutted that the Lord he spent an age coming up with to be an absolute beat stick literally fell to the strength on the imperials in such a spectacular fashion!

That's some bad DMing right there. From what I understand, in some of those RPG's, Marines can do more damage THROWING their bolts than firing them from a boltgun.
The DM is not a slave to the ruleset. He's there to preserve order and fun, and to stop un-armoured scout marines from throwing Terminators for kilometers.
The ruleset should provide a framework for the players to interact with the world, give them an idea of what they CAN do but where it stops making any sense the GM steps in to keep the game grounded.

How that should have gone:

So this Scout takes one look at the Lord, checks his stat line, his skill sets, and special rules, and says to the group "feth it, I'm gonna toss him like a caber". Up strolls the scout, grabs this Lord by the ankles, rolls the relevant dice, and NOPE! The meaty chaos Lord with all the bells and whistles kicks the scout while he struggles impotently, servo assisted adamantium boot shearing his (rolls the relevant dice) right arm clean off and the scout is wounded according to fall damage.

Irrespective, it was still a damn good story!

So back when I played Orks my friend and I would play every week and every game would end up the same. His Deathguard would slowly progress forward, my 30 Ork Boys would charge and only hurt 1-3 Plague Marines. Then the Boy's Nob would die by Power Axe attacks.

This happened every time.

Then I did math hammer and found out Flash Gits were a great counter to them. This caused me to always have a Trukk or Battlewagon of Flash Gits. And while I didn't win the games outright it did cause my friend to never want to play with me again.

To put that into perspective, I never won against my friend. I think I might have had two wins of the weekly games I played against him for 2 years.

I just had a really awesome game last week. Tau guy that had been a real butthole in our previous (a lot of issues with not wanting to know the actual rules of the game even though he plays regularly), so I decided I'd replay him now that I'd tried teaching him most of the rules. He knew that I don't have a ton of guard, not a lot of room to change my lists around, so he very much tailored to take them on.

Long story short he stomped a lot of my guys, but I held up pretty well by grabbing objectives. Turn 5. I have a squad of vets with 2 plasma guns parked 8" from his riptide (4 wounds), 5 guys left, if he wants to claim the objective he needs to kill them off, plus with their shooting they'll deal some heavy damage.

Fires the large blast, scatters way off, the other guns kill one guy. Decides he needs to charge them, they don't have melta bombs or krak grenades so he's not really worried. Four plasma overwatch, 2 hits, 2 unsaved wounds. He gets the charge off, charges my guys, they pass fear, do their 5 attacks. All hit, an amazing 3 wounds. He fails 2 saves, riptide dies to bayonets. I still ended up losing by a point (he got some lucky shots snap firing broadsides), but man was he mad.

The thing I really don't get is that he was acting like I was a terrible person because I killed his riptide and nearly won against a tailored list. Yes, get mad because I played well and then got lucky.


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 kronk wrote:
I only play 500 point kill team or HH events, now. Much less "serious business" and more "Let's make pew, pew noises".

The best games are ones that you go pew pew. I fire all my flashlights like it's some sort of wild rave party, while bikes pop wheelies and sergeants engage in gentlemanly duels. We even decided that instead of a standard CC fight our sergeants would do pistols at dawn (roll an initiative test to see who shoots first), let's just say my guard sergeant got a promotion that day.


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Thinking about this a bit more, another experience of a "YES!" moment was a DA "Azrael and friends" list I had come up with. I said to the guy (SW) before we start playing that my list is a little cheesy, I can pick another list if he wants. I'm running Azzy, a company master with mace of redemption and PF, Ezekiel, two lvl 2 librarians with axes, and a max sized black knight blob, footslogging along in one monster unit. Slow as all get out, but will 100% obliterate in CC anything that comes at them.

He proceeds to laugh in my face, "that's the most garbage list I've ever heard of!"

Gets the other guys at the next table over and tells them about my terrible list, they're all having a laugh and saying sure, bring that garbage blob.

I forget the specifics, but he's running a bunch of TWC (what are they, squad of six max?), two dreads (I have next to no anti-tank, which he knows before writing up his list) and two max squads in drop pods among some other things.

Turn one I roll forward towards the center objective, do some plasma at the wolves and the absolute psychic annihilation of the three librarians, wipe a squad of wolves, on top of shroud (no invis sadly). He drops his two pods in rapid range, a ton of wounds, I roll out my 2+++ rerollable and not a single bike dies. Wolves move up but fail charge, one dies to overwatch, 1 bike dies to gets hot.

My turn, blob fires stasis grenades at the wolves, all but 1 hit and it had a TH anyways, plus one dies to shooting, 1 to psychic, second bike dies to gets hot. Charge them, and keep in mind how many attacks I'm doing here. Each bike, with Zeke, gets 5 attacks on the charge. That's 40 rending attacks, on top of the characters. Wipe the squad.

I failed shroud, so one bike dies to shooting. 7 left, plus 5 characters. Don't even shoot the tacs, other than a stasis grenade (which missed), charge and wipe. Next turn, repeat with other tac squad.

Dreads in pods haven't even arrived yet and he forfeits. Proceeds to tell everyone I'm cheesemaster (which I specifically informed him of and asked if it was okay). Sure, I'm terrible for running that thousand some point blob of absolute murder, but that's what you get for making fun of a list without even knowing what it's capable of. He's lucky I didn't score invis too

And no, I don't run that list outside of super serious tournaments. I feel bad running it honestly, I just wanted to try it, and if you're going to insult my list I will show no mercy.