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So I’m new to 40k and tabletop gaming in general but am a fast learner and have stared snooping around for local gaming groups where I can start playing. I am kind of nervous though as whilst I’m sure it’s not as bad of an issue as say a decade ago is their still stigma to women playing 40k on her lonesome? I’m aware this hobby is more male orientated but I’m optimistic that regardless I will still be treated fairly and be welcomed into the group. If not though do you guys have any advice for me? What should I expect and be aware of in general with 40k gaming groups and how can I best go about earning the respect of my fellow gamers and modellers? I really don’t want to be seen as “the girl” in the group and simply be treated like everyone else.

I wouldn't put much thought into it. Just be yourself is all you can do.

Its not unlikely to encounter some awkward types if you went to game at a FLGS, but I wouldn't let that deter your interest.

I'm sure you'll be fine. Enjoy the hobby.

Welcome to the hobby! No particular advice if not to simply enjoy it.
I don't know the people you'll be in contact with, but I don't see why any of them should have any problem playing and talinking about 40K with a girl.
The gaming club I'm part of is quite large and there's a good percentage of girls, it's not something that uncommon to see.

If you happen to find some weirdos, just ignore and avoid them.

 Mistresspaige wrote:
So I’m new to 40k and tabletop gaming in general but am a fast learner and have stared snooping around for local gaming groups where I can start playing. I am kind of nervous though as whilst I’m sure it’s not as bad of an issue as say a decade ago is their still stigma to women playing 40k on her lonesome? I’m aware this hobby is more male orientated but I’m optimistic that regardless I will still be treated fairly and be welcomed into the group. If not though do you guys have any advice for me? What should I expect and be aware of in general with 40k gaming groups and how can I best go about earning the respect of my fellow gamers and modellers? I really don’t want to be seen as “the girl” in the group and simply be treated like everyone else.

i mean, community , is local.

See, for every horror story on dakka you find 5 decent 3 good and one perfect community at the very least, else this hobby would've died out long ago. The question is, which of those communities fit you, it's kinda like hikingshoes you pick the one that fits perfectly, especially if you intend to go hiking, else you get feet that look like RS first timers of urbanfolks that failed to use 2 pairs of socks.

respect of your fellow gamers you earn by not beeing a dill weed and respecting them, most in the hobby are laid back , atleast in my experience, but mileage might vary like i said and depends on the local community.

Be yourself and remember if you do get any comments levelled at you (which I hope you wouldn't) it's there weakness not yours.

You don't have to pove yourself but like any new player of any sex people relax when they realise that your good fun to play with I.e you don't throw a fit if you lose or you don't cheat.

Good luck , enjoy and may the dice gods be kind.

Yeah this is just going to vary store to store; there's two local stores and a GW store in my area, one of the FLGS's and the GW are both great places, the other FLGS is run by a real creep and is a place to avoid. All you can do is show up and see what the vibe is yourself.

You shouldn't do but there are idiots in all parts of society.

Have fun and enjoy the gaming

Thanks guys you’ve put my mind more at ease. I figured I should be fine. Obviously dills lurk in all community groups but hopefully my local communities will be as accommodating as you guys are. I’ve been fortunate in previous dnd groups that most are pretty swell and down to earth and that makes me optimistic for the local 40k community as well. I’ve probably just read to many bad stories about people being arses about it and had a perceived notion it was common in the tabletop community.

Honestly just be yourself and try and find a good group. Sadly there will always be Idiots, and hopefully you find a group without them.

I have found now days, The geeky space is way more welcoming. And even if there is a troublemaker, stores and clubs tend to not want to really be seen as enabling them.

Specific Advice is always hard, But i think best place to start is Stores and clubs run at schools. Even if the Club is not school run, Schools will have a robust Policy in place for the most part. So tend to have good Community.

Welcome and have fun !

Marxist artist wrote:
Be yourself and remember if you do get any comments levelled at you (which I hope you wouldn't) it's there weakness not yours.

You don't have to pove yourself but like any new player of any sex people relax when they realise that your good fun to play with I.e you don't throw a fit if you lose or you don't cheat.

Good luck , enjoy and may the dice gods be kind.

Thankyou Marxist. Yeah that’s not a problem I’m super down to earth and always play with fun and laughter at the forefront. Winning isn’t a big deal with me as long as everyone enjoys themselves.

Haha well if it’s anything like during my dnd sessions I think I’m screwed haha!

The question is about people acting it out right, not actual judging, because that people do to everyone always.

I don't think I have seen people act out against other people in face to face situations, unless two things happened. They realy hated each other or there were close to zero chance they would see the other party ever again.

Should be fine to be fair.
Generally a lot of different gaming groups about (tons in the south of the UK)
Granted, one or two may have your typical people in there, but just walk away from those.

If a group is willing to tolerate someone acting like that it’s a red flag on the whole group.

I’d say the only time you may have a higher chance of running into complete dicks is during higher end tournaments, but that’s sadly something everyone has to suffer.

Just remember that online people tend to be far swifter to complain than compliment things. As noted above for all the "my group was horrible" stories there are dozens more happy stories that just don't get told.

 Overread wrote:
Just remember that online people tend to be far swifter to complain than compliment things. As noted above for all the "my group was horrible" stories there are dozens more happy stories that just don't get told.

what Over done said the broader interwebs is a very questionable barometer to gauge hobby stuff as handling the truth awkward, attention seeking and flat out lies is par for the course, local FB or whatever for groups is a bit more reliable for getting a feel for how things lie locally

just dont wup them too often and it should be fine

Over the year in my mtg hobby I have witnessed a lot of bad treatment of girls. I know girl streamers on twitter who complains about it. I would assume that yes, you will be treated diferently by some.

That being said, girls get trated differently in many arias in life. How bad it is depends on group to group. For the most part I think you will be fine.

I say girl. I mean non boys, I do not yet have the non binery vocabulary all inn.

Also when I grew up I thought girls and boys both played magic because that was what I was used to. These things will vary from hobby to hobby and location to location.

You will find more or less the same amount of decent people/aholes than any other community or gaming group.


PS what I really want to say is that if you find one or a couple of dbags do not let that discourage you. There are some of those as they are everywhere, but do not represent the overall community.

I would recommend to look for a club or store that also runs D&D/roleplaying games etc... because in those the percentage of girls is much higher and lets say that people, is more... used to their presence.

In my store for example we have never have a problem with someone being awkward or unwelcoming to women for two reasons: We are all a bunch of good people and the actual store owner is a woman.

There has been a couple of people that are... different but it has nothing to do with women and just that they are in some form of the authistic espectrum. They are nice but they are socially unaware most of the time of when they are doing stuff that they should not be (Like when one asked a tanned
10 years old child if he was a gipsy in front of his mother )

Depends entirely on the community. Been in a lot of stores and IME reactions will range from the below (as put in song by Tripod).



all the way to them resenting you infringing on their boy's club. I'm a guy an experienced that one myself when we went to the ol' Veteran's night in the early 2000's in our local GW. Every. Single. Face turned around at once and they looked at us like we'd walked into the wrong neighbourhood. Though you'll more than likely experience the former. Trust me, I've seen it and it's a tad cringey at times.

Anyone can play 40K. If you want to play 40K, then go places with other people and play 40K, and let no one stop you on your fun journey of throwing dice and achieving victory!

Don’t have any problems hereabouts, but then I’m in the ‘Wastelands of the North’, and people will just think you’re a Hippy, because all the wimmin are chained to the kitchen sink.

Having played d&d, I assume you are familiar with Knights of the Dinner Table?

Can I suggest you follow Sarah’s example, and have your own dice, know the rules, and be ready to play :-)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ow1zRZR5Dao

Marxist artist wrote:
Be yourself and remember if you do get any comments levelled at you (which I hope you wouldn't) it's there weakness not yours.

You don't have to pove yourself but like any new player of any sex people relax when they realise that your good fun to play with I.e you don't throw a fit if you lose or you don't cheat.

Good luck , enjoy and may the dice gods be kind.

I think now more than ever it is incumbent upon other men to speak up when they see weird or creepy behavior.

We cant sit by and shrug it off like we used to. Women shouldn't be alone to deal with that burden.

And this isnt directed at any particular person. It's just my thoughts on how we can all do better.

Lol I like how everyone knows how to act until they hear "Uhm, who is Paige and why is she spending eight hours rolling dice with you?" and "Why are you spending all this time with another woman?"

Just sayin, some of the boyz are gonna need a pass before it's okay to crack open a few cold ones with you, and I thought perhaps you should be aware of it if you aren't. It isn't always about prejudice folks.

 Mistresspaige wrote:
So I’m new to 40k and tabletop gaming in general but am a fast learner and have stared snooping around for local gaming groups where I can start playing. I am kind of nervous though as whilst I’m sure it’s not as bad of an issue as say a decade ago is their still stigma to women playing 40k on her lonesome? I’m aware this hobby is more male orientated but I’m optimistic that regardless I will still be treated fairly and be welcomed into the group. If not though do you guys have any advice for me? What should I expect and be aware of in general with 40k gaming groups and how can I best go about earning the respect of my fellow gamers and modellers? I really don’t want to be seen as “the girl” in the group and simply be treated like everyone else.

It depends on your locality. If guys in your locality are generally pieces of animated bovine feces, that's who you'll be playing with.

That said, in my experience, there's at least some degree of enforcement of civility from people like games store staff, and it's not worse than anywhere else in the local area.


I don't think there's a higher incidence of creepy people than there are in other activities, and because contact is fairly brief and structured, there's not really a space to wind up with horror stories like some D&D campaigns generate.

I only really 'go' to tournaments but there were always some girls at NOVA and I never heard of them having an issue.

About 20 years ago it might have been more difficult, but the amount of female players has increased over time and attitudes have changed for the better, plus contrary to stereotypes, the majority of guys playing will have girlfriends or wives and are generally pretty sociable. Overall, as far as nerd groups go, it's a pretty good one that doesn't have the issues that MTG/CCGs can and computer gaming has in spades.

Of course, groups vary. I'm into board games as well and avoid one local game store after getting put off by the regulars, thankfully another one opened up in my city which is so much more welcoming and modern. The local GW store is just as nice, really good staff. As with anything social, if you do come across a bad group, avoid it in future but don't let it stop you finding a better one with nicer people.

I have never seen or heard people like... hating on a woman for playing in the hobby in real life (As opposed to the internet, where people are full terrible) and none of the shop runners in my area would accept someone who did. They'd get tossed out in a heart beat.

But man have i seen a lot, and I mean A LOT, of thirsty, socially awkward nerds. Like a lot.

I think that'll be the main issue, if you have one at all, is being, uh, awkwardly hit on. I am sorry in advance.

In the shop I most often frequent, I haven't actually seen a woman regular come and hang out unlike the plenty of dudes who do. And this does bum me out, especially when I see some of the younger more awkward ones thirsting on a girl who does show interest.

 Mistresspaige wrote:
So I’m new to 40k and tabletop gaming in general but am a fast learner and have stared snooping around for local gaming groups where I can start playing. I am kind of nervous though as whilst I’m sure it’s not as bad of an issue as say a decade ago is their still stigma to women playing 40k on her lonesome? I’m aware this hobby is more male orientated but I’m optimistic that regardless I will still be treated fairly and be welcomed into the group. If not though do you guys have any advice for me? What should I expect and be aware of in general with 40k gaming groups and how can I best go about earning the respect of my fellow gamers and modellers? I really don’t want to be seen as “the girl” in the group and simply be treated like everyone else.

Paige, if you're looking for any general pointers on local groups it might be worth asking in your local Warhammer (GW) store if there is one close enough to you. The company line is that they need to be Family friendly and they often have some indication on local clubs due to talking with regular customers of staffers being members themselves.

Like others have said, how a club reacts to discrimination should give you a good indication of whether you'll enjoy your time there or not but hopefully one bad apple won't put you off what, for the majority of us, is a highly enjoyed and welcoming hobby.

As with any large community you'll always get some who have issues like you're concerned about, but that's the point, it's their issue not yours. Hopefully you'll only have to deal with "TFG" like the rest of us as any half decent club will deal with the bigots and White knights promptly.

There aren't many women in my community. I've known in 20 years of being around here four of them.

However all four were never treated badly.

The #1 issue that they all usually have to deal with is being hit on all the time and being asked for their number on a regular basis. Even if you are with someone. Even with that someone is in your community as well. That will be the #1 thing I have found most women to have to deal with.

Yes from experience it's not that the guys will be rude or want you out there will just be a few who fall instantly in love with you because you play warhammer my sister had this exact problem in a main london store a few years ago and never went back after attending two evening sessions. Like these guys were unable to look her in the eye but were full on cringey painfully besotted. Not great.

Yeah, kind of. It really depends on the exact group, though. I've ran into every stripe of gamer. Racist, sexist, etc. You might never have a problem, or you might have a slew of them. Not super helpful, I know, but just be aware that it's possible.